My mother is a text book case of Narcissistic Personality Disorder, and it drives us all crazy. She's also a big lover of "gossip," which I abhor. I pray for her and also pray that God will show me WHY she's like that. It has something to do with her childhood and when I pray about it, I begin to see her through more compassionate eyes. Nobody is perfect. Everybody sins and falls short of the glory of God. As you say, WE cannot "fix people," and only God can change a person's heart.
I had to cease contact with my mom because the gaslighting was severely messing with my sanity that I started to question if I was awake. I literally cried many days trying to figure out if I was still asleep. I can't cope with narcissist and anyone gaslight me. Sometimes it's better to love them from a distance for your own mental health.
You can’t move out of the way when your married to them. Whatever I do to avoid or subdue a situation is used to fuel more anger and more unreasonable attacks. I’m at wits end.
It is so important to put yourself in other's person shoes. Even simply understanding that they might see it from a different point of view helps me keep my calm :)
Yes the holy spirit 2:22 Word picture tuba 4:44 Project 9:44 11:22 Proverbs quotes 11:50 Keep your keys 15:40 truth and love 17:00 Real life 18:10 19:05 value time seriously do not waste a minute. Offer 22:40 Extreme 23:23 gossip and survival
Delicious conversation!!! I just love when the guests are asked to personalize their wisdom regarding the particular topic!!! Thank you... Yes, to separate the love we have for that person from pitfall choices they may be making... And to do it with Temperance and Love using seasoned with salt language... This is a Christ follower's fruit of maturity... One of several.... Thank You!!! God is Glorified through this conversation!!! Praise God !!!
In regards to the co-worker that was difficult, and they asked "I wonder what made her like that? I mean it must have been something that happened in her childhood." That comment was enough to take them aback and detour the conversation, but at that time, it should be a moment, of "God, I am sorry, for gossip, let's pray for her, and for the Lord to reveal to her her sin against you, God, and convict her." And also in James 4:2, it talks what causes quarrels and arguments. I find a lot of times, I just often choose myself or what I want above God and above others needs. There are times, yes, when circumstances or relationships snowball or I decieve myself or not aware of sin, or compromising with the world or the flesh or get drawn in, or choose to turn to something/sin rather than God, or sometimes just get caught in something I cannot get free of, but ultimately, it is breaking God's law whether I did it will fully, unknowingly, or got drawn into it by others or the situation, etc. I don't like blaming it on others, although there is s current situation that I am in due to some people's sin in my life and circumstances unwinding the way they have despite my seeking the Lord and unable to find another path or way.
For some people who heard from the coworker regarding the comment about the persons childhood etc That comment by itself can be a moment of conviction for those hearing it 💛
As said here that is not possible all the time. I add also that sometimes getting away from that person doesn't mean you won't come across another and another. Part of the lesson is that we have a lesson to learn through those people. And we can learn that lesson when we don't just keep running 💛
Ask Jesus why you find the person difficult; it's probably a trigger from your past. Get rid of your triggers and you become unoffendable and can love everyone like Jesus does.
Somewhere around the 16 minute mark, the speakers mentioned that we are not responsible for others and I must honestly say that such statements are very difficult to hear from people of faith, especially when they speak about being rooted in His Truth, because Saint Paul tells us quite clearly that what effects one of us, either good or bad, effects us all. What is such a statement if not a call to shared responsibility which is meant to open our eyes and hearts to the greater reality we are meant to experience with our fellow brothers and sisters? To make that simple Biblical Truth more personal and clear, how many children (like myself at the time) have heard from their parents that everything we do is ultimately a reflection on them and their entire family?! The same holds true for our heavenly family, including the one on earth, so why should any of us ever assume, let alone promote, the unreal fiction that we are not responsible for another and others?! Of course we are! We may not be able to make other people's choices for them, but we can and do have a great deal of influence with the Holy Spirit to guide them to the right ones and lovingly rebuke them away from them when they make the wrong ones. In fact, we are commanded to do so, which is another reason why i can not support the falsity of not being responsible for others! What we DO for the least of our brethren we DO to the Lord Himself!!! Please read and pray on the Scriptures that have been given to us on this gentlemen because our role in the formation and correction of others is far more important than what I've heard stated so far! In Christ, Andrew P.S. At the 17 minute mark - "The Truth is your better than that" - This is not necessarily true due to the nature towards sin that resides within each of us, which means that the more truthful (and less problematic) statement would be something like, "God created you to be better than that, and Jesus sacrificed Himself to help you get there!". In short, this is not what you were created for because God wants far more from you and for you than such attitudes and/or behaviors. By saying it that way the call and challenge to be better is coming from our triune God Himself, who is perfect and beyond reproach, instead of solely from us who are always reproachable. In essence, it lessens or avoids completely the argument of "you're not perfect either, so don't tell me what to do or what I should do!" (i.e. the log and speck response from the bAD sPIRIT).
You have missed the point. We cannot control someone else and ultimately they are responsible for their own choices just as you and I are the only ones responsible for the choices we each make; answerable only to God. Admonishment is a whole other issue. We can lovingly admonish someone, but we cannot make someone choose rightly. Thus one's responsibility for someone ends.
@@karenb0725 With due respect, the point your making about control is not eluded to by me in what I said. It is not about controlling other people because doing so would sinfully offend their free will and be an unloving act of tyrrany. However, that does not mean we do not share responsibility and the impacts of others decisions within the community, otherwise the Holy Spirit would not have told us such through Saint Paul. The Truth I was working to elucidate in my post is that far too many of us take a hands off approach when it comes to admonishing or correcting the bad attitudes and behaviors of others, while still others look at it as a one off where saying something once is all they are obligated to do. The love Jesus has placed in our hearts should burn so deeply and brightly that we are willing to fight for the purity of others with all the talents He has given us. We NEVER give up on that or them at any point, even if we may get reduced to passive prayer instead of living prayer in action with certain people at certain times. The problem that has been revealed to me time and time again is our unwillingness to step out of out comfort zone and really put our love out there and on the line for others. We also far too often don't want to offend anyone, so we would rather be timid or permissive about their sins and our own instead of dealing with them through Him and each other. Who in their right mind would not shout at someone who was about to burn themselves, be hit by a car, etc. And yet we don't want to do that in any way, or repeatedly (even gently) when it comes to sin. Doing the opposite is living in love by believing we are responsible for one another and what effects one affects us all. In Christ, Andrew
Andrew I heard around the 18:42 point, “We are responsible for the choices we make.” I didn’t hear the flip side of I’m not responsible for your choices, or however you stated it in your comment. I don’t believe the speakers meant what you’re saying about responsibility. I heard a lot of discussion about guiding people and influencing them in godly ways. I thought the discussion was helpful, with good points. There’s no way everything can be said in this short episode and it can always be said better, but I thought what was said was good godly truth for improving relationships.
Haven't watched this yet, but I hope they hit on what to do with narcissists. Leave early? Be cordial or don't open the door? Ahhh Thanksgivings coming up
What if thats how your family is like this all the time(home family-not everyone but a few individuals), in a way that affect you everytime making you responsible for what they do, forcing that onto you.
But this confuses me. Sometimes we have to hold people accountable. We must share the truth of scripture. Knowing when to speak and when to be silent is difficult.
what drives me crazy is im watching my favorite show and my brother in law walks in sits down and starts rattling off about his favorite sports team and i'm like do you ever quit ??? he says dude it was baddest game ever the score was 29- 2 and then that tall dude walks out on the cort they call him bird man or something like that i go aughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh and my br in law says are you ok ????? i said NO!!!!!! I HATE SPORTS !!!!!! HE SAYS YOU DON'T KNOW what your talking about because bird man can fly an on and on and on it goes this is a abbreviated version the whole conversation would take a book 397 pages i'm not going to bore you by going there
Isn't it a presuppositional lens to assume magic exist? I think without that lens people might be less susceptible to make assumptions that supports their magical thinking.
Ask Jesus why you find the person toxic; it's probably a trigger from your past. Get rid of your triggers and you become unoffendable and can love everyone like Jesus does.
Me too😔. I was hoping to get some direction for help. I’m SO willing to do the work needed to change, but don’t know what that work would be, or where to get it. I’m quite saddened I’ve hurt others, and wish I knew needed exactly what I need to do to be a better, enjoyable Christian human.
Sorry again gentleman, another contradiction has been presented. The speakers just got done talking about how what we do does not define our value, which is untrue based on the Truth of the Bible because loving the Lord and having faith is all about doing or living it out with our entire mind, heart, soul, and strength, and yet all of you are now talking about objects that have value based on what we choose to do with them. Sure, people are not merely dumb objects like a one hundred dollar bill, and we have infinite dignity, value, and worth that comes from the Lord, but we can all most certainly diminish or even forfeit those values by what we do that goes against the Lord and His commands. For if what we choose to do or not do doesn't matter in God's plan for our lives than He would not tell us to keep His commandments if we love Him or send angels like the dEVIL to hELL for inequitably (lawlessly) doing the same; and of course not being penitent or repentant for it at all. What we do and do not do matters a great deal to God, and others, and has a great deal to do with our eternal value and home, because we will be judged, forgiven, and shown mercy by how we did or did not DO with others!!! In Christ, Andrew
Andrew It sounds like you listened to a different talk. They were saying regarding their kids, their bad deeds don’t take away their value. Parents show unconditional love for their kids, and kids return to the faith because they were taught God loves them. I’m paraphrasing and definitely should explain more, but running out of time. Honestly I think if you listened to the talk again you’d change your comments.
I like that … the only person responsible is for yourself… we can’t change a person but Jesus can change a heart!
My mother is a text book case of Narcissistic Personality Disorder, and it drives us all crazy. She's also a big lover of "gossip," which I abhor. I pray for her and also pray that God will show me WHY she's like that. It has something to do with her childhood and when I pray about it, I begin to see her through more compassionate eyes. Nobody is perfect. Everybody sins and falls short of the glory of God. As you say, WE cannot "fix people," and only God can change a person's heart.
Valerie Griner my “mom” is too a narcissist and awful gossip.
So familiar Valerie! So many of us are in this EXACT situation 💞💞💞
I had to cease contact with my mom because the gaslighting was severely messing with my sanity that I started to question if I was awake. I literally cried many days trying to figure out if I was still asleep. I can't cope with narcissist and anyone gaslight me. Sometimes it's better to love them from a distance for your own mental health.
Did anyone else really need this today? I sure did - family get togethers often try my patience! Thank you Focus!
Becoming Elizabeth hi
I need this too!
My Family are my crazy people which can make me a crazy people Don't know how to change either .Praying about it and staying away as much as I can
The Holy Spirit has helped me remain calm during some crazy, volatile moments in our home! 🙌
You can’t move out of the way when your married to them.
Whatever I do to avoid or subdue a situation is used to fuel more anger and more unreasonable attacks. I’m at wits end.
This topic made me laugh.😂🤣
God's word has helped me so much in this area. Thank you, precious Lord.🙌❤💚💜
It is so important to put yourself in other's person shoes. Even simply understanding that they might see it from a different point of view helps me keep my calm :)
So much wisdom here as usual. I love Focus on the Family. ❤
Sadé J. Lee I recommend it and send it to almost anyone I know . I’m annoying that way , in love , lol
Yes the holy spirit 2:22
Word picture tuba
4:44
Project 9:44
11:22
Proverbs quotes 11:50
Keep your keys 15:40 truth and love 17:00
Real life 18:10
19:05 value time seriously do not waste a minute. Offer 22:40
Extreme
23:23 gossip and survival
Delicious conversation!!! I just love when the guests are asked to personalize their wisdom regarding the particular topic!!! Thank you... Yes, to separate the love we have for that person from pitfall choices they may be making... And to do it with Temperance and Love using seasoned with salt language... This is a Christ follower's fruit of maturity... One of several.... Thank You!!!
God is Glorified through this conversation!!! Praise God !!!
Amen
Thank you Focus on Family family. Each episode is so edifying. Blessed each time
Much Love and respect from cape Town South Africa
Thank you for this program
Jim took too much Adderall today. Really amazing wisdom overall! We cannot control people, but we can control our reaction to people
This is such a great discussion- we know what to but to hear from others is very effective. Thank you.
In regards to the co-worker that was difficult, and they asked "I wonder what made her like that? I mean it must have been something that happened in her childhood." That comment was enough to take them aback and detour the conversation, but at that time, it should be a moment, of "God, I am sorry, for gossip, let's pray for her, and for the Lord to reveal to her her sin against you, God, and convict her." And also in James 4:2, it talks what causes quarrels and arguments. I find a lot of times, I just often choose myself or what I want above God and above others needs. There are times, yes, when circumstances or relationships snowball or I decieve myself or not aware of sin, or compromising with the world or the flesh or get drawn in, or choose to turn to something/sin rather than God, or sometimes just get caught in something I cannot get free of, but ultimately, it is breaking God's law whether I did it will fully, unknowingly, or got drawn into it by others or the situation, etc. I don't like blaming it on others, although there is s current situation that I am in due to some people's sin in my life and circumstances unwinding the way they have despite my seeking the Lord and unable to find another path or way.
Some people don’t want to hear it!
For some people who heard from the coworker regarding the comment about the persons childhood etc That comment by itself can be a moment of conviction for those hearing it 💛
Excellent discussion. Thank you.
People who drives you crazy will drive you crazy, dont live In peace with them just leave and get away from them
As said here that is not possible all the time. I add also that sometimes getting away from that person doesn't mean you won't come across another and another. Part of the lesson is that we have a lesson to learn through those people. And we can learn that lesson when we don't just keep running 💛
Ask Jesus why you find the person difficult; it's probably a trigger from your past. Get rid of your triggers and you become unoffendable and can love everyone like Jesus does.
Excellent
Intresting
LOVE UR PROGRAM
Jeremiah 6:13-15 peace peace when no peace
Somewhere around the 16 minute mark, the speakers mentioned that we are not responsible for others and I must honestly say that such statements are very difficult to hear from people of faith, especially when they speak about being rooted in His Truth, because Saint Paul tells us quite clearly that what effects one of us, either good or bad, effects us all.
What is such a statement if not a call to shared responsibility which is meant to open our eyes and hearts to the greater reality we are meant to experience with our fellow brothers and sisters?
To make that simple Biblical Truth more personal and clear, how many children (like myself at the time) have heard from their parents that everything we do is ultimately a reflection on them and their entire family?!
The same holds true for our heavenly family, including the one on earth, so why should any of us ever assume, let alone promote, the unreal fiction that we are not responsible for another and others?! Of course we are!
We may not be able to make other people's choices for them, but we can and do have a great deal of influence with the Holy Spirit to guide them to the right ones and lovingly rebuke them away from them when they make the wrong ones. In fact, we are commanded to do so, which is another reason why i can not support the falsity of not being responsible for others! What we DO for the least of our brethren we DO to the Lord Himself!!!
Please read and pray on the Scriptures that have been given to us on this gentlemen because our role in the formation and correction of others is far more important than what I've heard stated so far! In Christ, Andrew
P.S. At the 17 minute mark - "The Truth is your better than that" - This is not necessarily true due to the nature towards sin that resides within each of us, which means that the more truthful (and less problematic) statement would be something like, "God created you to be better than that, and Jesus sacrificed Himself to help you get there!". In short, this is not what you were created for because God wants far more from you and for you than such attitudes and/or behaviors. By saying it that way the call and challenge to be better is coming from our triune God Himself, who is perfect and beyond reproach, instead of solely from us who are always reproachable. In essence, it lessens or avoids completely the argument of "you're not perfect either, so don't tell me what to do or what I should do!" (i.e. the log and speck response from the bAD sPIRIT).
You have missed the point. We cannot control someone else and ultimately they are responsible for their own choices just as you and I are the only ones responsible for the choices we each make; answerable only to God.
Admonishment is a whole other issue. We can lovingly admonish someone, but we cannot make someone choose rightly. Thus one's responsibility for someone ends.
@@karenb0725 With due respect, the point your making about control is not eluded to by me in what I said. It is not about controlling other people because doing so would sinfully offend their free will and be an unloving act of tyrrany. However, that does not mean we do not share responsibility and the impacts of others decisions within the community, otherwise the Holy Spirit would not have told us such through Saint Paul.
The Truth I was working to elucidate in my post is that far too many of us take a hands off approach when it comes to admonishing or correcting the bad attitudes and behaviors of others, while still others look at it as a one off where saying something once is all they are obligated to do.
The love Jesus has placed in our hearts should burn so deeply and brightly that we are willing to fight for the purity of others with all the talents He has given us. We NEVER give up on that or them at any point, even if we may get reduced to passive prayer instead of living prayer in action with certain people at certain times.
The problem that has been revealed to me time and time again is our unwillingness to step out of out comfort zone and really put our love out there and on the line for others. We also far too often don't want to offend anyone, so we would rather be timid or permissive about their sins and our own instead of dealing with them through Him and each other.
Who in their right mind would not shout at someone who was about to burn themselves, be hit by a car, etc. And yet we don't want to do that in any way, or repeatedly (even gently) when it comes to sin. Doing the opposite is living in love by believing we are responsible for one another and what effects one affects us all.
In Christ, Andrew
Andrew I heard around the 18:42 point, “We are responsible for the choices we make.” I didn’t hear the flip side of I’m not responsible for your choices, or however you stated it in your comment. I don’t believe the speakers meant what you’re saying about responsibility. I heard a lot of discussion about guiding people and influencing them in godly ways. I thought the discussion was helpful, with good points. There’s no way everything can be said in this short episode and it can always be said better, but I thought what was said was good godly truth for improving relationships.
@@Ezekiel336-16 I TOTALLY AGREE WITH YOU!
Haven't watched this yet, but I hope they hit on what to do with narcissists. Leave early? Be cordial or don't open the door? Ahhh Thanksgivings coming up
Normal is not returning but Jesus Christ y❤
The crazy person in my life is my mum. Please 🙏 she has an encounter with Christ. Only Jesus can save her from her entitlement attitude.
Yes, something happened.
What if thats how your family is like this all the time(home family-not everyone but a few individuals), in a way that affect you everytime making you responsible for what they do, forcing that onto you.
But this confuses me. Sometimes we have to hold people accountable. We must share the truth of scripture. Knowing when to speak and when to be silent is difficult.
What if I am that crazy person ? Lol
what drives me crazy is im watching my favorite show and my brother in law walks in sits down and starts rattling off about his favorite sports team and i'm like
do you ever quit ??? he says dude it was baddest game ever the score was 29- 2 and then that tall dude walks out on the cort they call him bird man or something
like that i go aughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh and my br in law says are you ok ????? i said NO!!!!!!
I HATE SPORTS !!!!!! HE SAYS YOU DON'T KNOW what your talking about because bird man can fly an on and on and on it goes this is a abbreviated version the whole
conversation would take a book 397 pages i'm not going to bore you by going there
❤❤❤
If I had on blue lenses I would see blue! If I had on red lenses I would see red!
Isn't it a presuppositional lens to assume magic exist? I think without that lens people might be less susceptible to make assumptions that supports their magical thinking.
This talk missed the point to me, I still didn’t learn about how to deal with toxic people.
Ask Jesus why you find the person toxic; it's probably a trigger from your past. Get rid of your triggers and you become unoffendable and can love everyone like Jesus does.
I am that crazy person in my family!
If people run from you, probably. People run from my sister for a reason.
Me too😔. I was hoping to get some direction for help. I’m SO willing to do the work needed to change, but don’t know what that work would be, or where to get it. I’m quite saddened I’ve hurt others, and wish I knew needed exactly what I need to do to be a better, enjoyable Christian human.
Stop unlimitid down. Ask the lord
Sorry again gentleman, another contradiction has been presented. The speakers just got done talking about how what we do does not define our value, which is untrue based on the Truth of the Bible because loving the Lord and having faith is all about doing or living it out with our entire mind, heart, soul, and strength, and yet all of you are now talking about objects that have value based on what we choose to do with them.
Sure, people are not merely dumb objects like a one hundred dollar bill, and we have infinite dignity, value, and worth that comes from the Lord, but we can all most certainly diminish or even forfeit those values by what we do that goes against the Lord and His commands. For if what we choose to do or not do doesn't matter in God's plan for our lives than He would not tell us to keep His commandments if we love Him or send angels like the dEVIL to hELL for inequitably (lawlessly) doing the same; and of course not being penitent or repentant for it at all.
What we do and do not do matters a great deal to God, and others, and has a great deal to do with our eternal value and home, because we will be judged, forgiven, and shown mercy by how we did or did not DO with others!!!
In Christ,
Andrew
Andrew It sounds like you listened to a different talk. They were saying regarding their kids, their bad deeds don’t take away their value. Parents show unconditional love for their kids, and kids return to the faith because they were taught God loves them. I’m paraphrasing and definitely should explain more, but running out of time. Honestly I think if you listened to the talk again you’d change your comments.