When does feminism become toxic? | Olivia Brewer | TEDxDecaturPublicLibraryWomen
HTML-код
- Опубликовано: 18 фев 2020
- When we offer women the opportunity to operate in arenas without men, we are setting ourselves at a disadvantage. We are not trying to solve the problem. We are merely fighting the symptoms. Rather than emulate men, women should use their own unique gifts and talents like nurture, compassion, empathy. Olivia is a senior Entrepreneurship major at Millikin University. She loves helping people identify their life purpose and relentlessly pursue their dreams. Olivia is an aspiring speaker, author, and founder of a holistic wellness center. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at www.ted.com/tedx
Misandry is not the solution to misogyny , it only justifies it and perpetuates it.
Indeed. You have to destroy both. It is the only way. Just because if you got rid of the Patriarchy, that does not mean we've automatically won without worry. Many joke about Manhate and don't know what they're doing.
No such thing as misogyny anymore
That would be the hatred of women we don't hate women we hate the legal system that women use against us there's a difference
Yup and the problem is women’s toxic traits get masked as “emotional expression” when in reality it’s just lack of accountability
The problem: They say they fight for equal rights, but in real, they are just fighting for better woman rights, no matter how unfair and unjust that would be
👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻100%
@@biancaintensa the fact you’re saying that given our traditional history is beyond me. Once upon a time we use to have this thing called “Family” that consists of a Husband & Wife. Children if they’re lucky. We had it good. Still do. But out of the blue, these demonic groups have come out of no where. Bring about destruction to All Things God has said to be Good for us. Looking at the world today gives me no doubt that what the Bible has said that will come to pass will come to pass. Just like everything else it’s said
@@lesblase3667 Doesn’t God want you to love everyone?
I wouldn't even say they're fighting for better women's rights; that's just an outcome for what they really want, which is revenge against men.
They never mentioned any of the advantages they have that men don’t
When I was an intern for NASA at Langley Research Center, I was heading into a building during a heavy (and cold) rain. I noticed a woman running to the door behind me, so I stopped to hold the door open for her. She suddenly stopped -- while we were both in the rain -- and began to yell at me. She told me that I shouldn't think that she "can't open a door" because she's a woman. She then scolded me for several minutes.
As a young college student at the time (still a teenager), I was embarrassed. Any time that I tried to apologize, she simply grew more furious. She told me that I was an example of how society holds back women and that I was a "blight" to "proper civilization" (among other things). While she was still ranting, a man came running up while holding a cardboard box full of items. I held the door for him as he ran. As he entered, he said, "Thanks man! You're a lifesaver!" As he ran in and the door shut behind him, I turned back to the woman (still standing in the rain). She was so angry and red-faced that she (literally) shook her arms and stomped inside. I think that she was going to blame me as the reason why she was so wet.
To me, this is "toxic feminism." I was raised by my parents to hold the door open for others (especially in the rain). I was taught to be "gentle" when it came to others too. However, this putting others before myself is not a sign of weakness or any sort of public display of mental/physical superiority. I can allow someone to speak without interrupting despite having something very viable and important to say. When I do speak, it isn't "mansplaining." If I don't hold my knees together when sitting on public transit, it's not "manspreading" (although there is a physical reason WHY some of us don't do that). I make no apology. At the same time, I feel terrible for those who might think otherwise.
Yes, women are told so many lies about men, it can get ridiculous. There's a famous screenshot of two messages: "Men opening doors for women is a symbol of aggressive patriarchy. Men are saying 'You may enter or leave this place, but only on my say so.'"
and... "A man opening and holding a door open for a woman is him subconsciously reminding her that all men are in control of a woman's choices."
With this kind of rhetoric drilled into them for years and even decades, it's no wonder that they don't recognize this gesture for what it is: "I would love for someone to hold the door open for me when I'm in a hurry, so I want to help others as well."
They see a philanthropic utopian vision, and interpret it through the only lens they have: an aggressive attempt to control and limit their options.
If I was in that situation I would say ok and then shut the door in her face
Dude! You're a good kid with extremely good manners. I'd have told her to f*** o**! Then closed the door on her.
貴方がドアを開ける権利があるように、女性にもそれを拒否する権利があります
the lady was being ridiculous. there's nothing wrong with holding the door open for a girl...it's called being a gentlemen
Toxic Feminism destroyed unnecessary good relationships through false or one sided judgement . That hurts for many still today.
Nope, feminism can’t be toxic. If you think it’s toxic then it ain’t feminism.
@@udhav423 brah he said toxic feminism that means it's opposite of feminism 😂.He didn't said that feminism is toxic...think brah think..
@@wackyv3996 But feminism is still Cancer.
@@PeturMag yep.. Now a days pesudo feminism is spreading like cancer.
@@wackyv3996 just like corona virus
They talk about gender equality while forgetting Male is a gender.
Can you give me an example?
@@bricasso5795 suicide rates
@@bricasso5795
Google; my husband is yelling at me
Then google; my wife is yelling at me.
@@Behemoth_RogueAnswer
1. She may be angry on you because you could have made a mistake
2. WoMeN hArRaSsMeNt, call the police immediately and file a case 😂
@@bricasso5795 Why did you need one? Is it hard for you to imagine that men may experience hardships too? What do you think that says about you?
I think toxic feminism can mean a lot of things . Like dismissing or refusing to acknowledge that whilst in the majority of cases a man has abused a woman, lots of men have also been abused by women. It's toxic feminism when a person refuses to acknowledge that men can also be a victim of abuse, or believing that a woman should have a lighter jail sentence for abusing a man than a man should have for abusing a woman purely because of the abusers gender . I try really hard to be gender equal at all times
@Stefon Palinic How are men more oppressed than women?
@Stefon Palinic everyone has their own problems it isn’t a competition on who’s more oppressed
@Jami Fowlie literally no one said that lol I’m a woman and I understand the hardships of women being abused since humanity was born, however that won’t erase the fact they can also be abusers lmao it’s not that hard really 🖐🏼 Amber is out there probably recording more scenes for aqua man while Johnny Depp was freaking fired from fantastic beasts even though he was LITERALLY THE ABUSED ONE all these years. That erases the hardships of women getting abused? Not really, just as it don’t justify terrible women abusers doing what they do. The world is NOT a b&W scenario.
@@youthisreadwrong2274 you’re a weirdo. Get off the net, creep
@@lesblase3667 your kinda the creep for having no evidence
Feminism is nearly impossible to mock nowadays as it has become a parody unto itself.
Very true! Nowadays, the feminism I actually wanted to follow had turned toxic
@@icebear116 at least you girls agree*
I think you're seeing it only from one side
@@codyhanson1344 Hey, just goggled the definition of feminism and this is what popped up. Thanks for requesting, our readers will benefit.
fem·i·nism
/ˈfeməˌnizəm/
noun
A conflict theory that regards men as oppressors and women as the oppressed, and masculinity as toxic.
Synonym: Misandry, feminazism, cancer.
@@hellogoodbye4061 wrong. You made that up or got it from a site that has a lot of misinformation.
When talking about right, they become like a barking dog. When talking about responsibility, they don't say anything.
When did feminism become toxic? From the get go First wave: we want to be treated equal and have the right to vote, but we want the special privilege to avoid the hardships of the draft.
This. A lot of things women have fought for in the past to get the perks that men used to get (the vote), but not face the responsibility in order to have that perk. (The draft) It was a double standard that the women did fight for something noble to have the right to vote, but wanted an advantage after getting the right by avoiding drafting.
@@ardellandaya1965 this had always been the plan
Heck, they didn't even serve in the Army really until World War II (the WACs and the WASPs), 20 years after the 19th Amendment was ratified.
Damn Right.
I tell my wife it first starts when you get a drivers license. I have to register for selective service and she doesn't
The simple answer is when it transformed from demands for equality to a fight for dominance. Equality on women's terms is no better than dominance on a man's terms.
Really well said, the last part.
Oh the fake equality feminism
Once
any idea gets too big and exists for decades it will be corrupted and it's original purpose forgotten
Example A: feminism
@@MasterTopHat Example A the illuminati
@@t.bo.a7061 u believe in illuminati but not satan? who do u think the illuminati is
@@AniMeLoVeR23451 bro it’s a joke 😂
@@AniMeLoVeR23451 the Illuminati was a group of people
Thought: Advocacy of any form becomes toxic when an industry develops around that advocacy that enables people to make advocacy in and of itself their career. This is leads to the goal shifting away from solving the problem advocated for/against and towards sustaining the revenue stream by offering solutions to ever more obscure, nuanced ways in which the problem is still relevant.
Well said
Good point.
Thank you. The monetization of late wave activism has ruined what it means to fight for true equality and peace keeping in our modern society.
Absolutely Bang on. Profiteering through Advocacy is a bane of a woke, modern world that increasingly wants to make business out if everything, including victimhood, diseases, resentment, negative news, etc. etc.
This, this is the post guys. So true!!
It already is
Yup
My guide
When you treat individuals with the same anger you treat the unfairness of society you are toxic
You are inherently blaming individuals for things society does while you may not even be suffering the consequences of those behaviors, and if you are, that person may not be part of the issue
Social justice has been structured in a way that breeds unnecessary anger and judgment towards each other
People need to see this
Absolutely. The Left part of the Left-Right equation Left the level playing field, when it realized it can aim for the stars by using resentment, victimhood & oppression to be used as rocket fuel & can keep dividing the society using group identity politics to rule it permanently, so much so that they started dividing genders like they are splitting atoms, thus, making whole society radioactive for biological and evolved creatures.
This is the most succinct, beautifully portrayed elocution of this theory I’ve ever heard, I literally started applauding on my walk after reading this 🌻
Feminists have yet to explain the surge of Karen-ism.
and Karen's are often painted as alt-right trolls, too. There's so much contradiction.
@@mafiawaffle1386 Karen’s transcend political groups
@@onward2727 socrates' wife was a karen, he became a philosopher from trying to argue with her, therefore all knowledge comes from the karen
@@JosueLopez-kk9us Holy Karen 😔 🙏
Karens have yet to explain the surge of Manager-ism.
In the end, if this is the way that women want to go, in order to protect ourselves as men, we need to walk away from women. I know this is difficult but I’m talking about female strangers you come across not your female loved ones.
THIS!! Right here! Is the only way forward. Well said. Agreed.
Saying that feminism is toxic is an insult. Toxic waste aint that toxic.
Well you see, on Twitter, UN women exists but UN men doesn't
International women's day is recognised but international men's day is not and it caused backlash for existing
Someone retweeted @Un_women to make un_men, but he was regarded as 'toxic'.
People mourn the mother that lost the child, not the child himself.
What more do you need?
@@hemalathapajaniraja1990 true true
Lol
Women like to complain about sexism throughout history, but you don't see them complaining about not being pressured or forced to fight in world war 1 and 2.
Really appreciate this and I too am hoping to get into the political sciences and socio-eco conversation. Good presentation.
I like how she described the wage gap.
How men make more but the women get promoted more and are usually not fired, [more profit]
They’re not even thinking about the amount of hours they work. That’s why they get paid less. Dudes be working hella overtime that’s why they get paid more lol 😂
@@dannydiamond8249 said it for me bro.
Without a man to build and design your phone technology how you gonna post duck face selfies of yourself for all the men you're trying to attract? Exactly show some appreciation!
@@MysticK111 Your comment is so inane it is akin to saying women invented the automobile and plane because they work on assembly lines.
@@MysticK111 You named a few, because that's all you have - a few. Now return to your assembly line and boost on how awesome you and all the women working it are.
@@MysticK111 Trust me, there is not that many more, for sure. Both men and women are needed in the workplace to create and build, seems women are reluctant to pull their weight in this regard, and that's just the way the world is created. Kinda sad really that you believe your own lies.
@@MysticK111 We don't think "differently", rather you think wrongly and I think correctly. Hey, whatever floats your boat.
@@MysticK111 You're being delusional (now add a smug, self-righteous "lol" here)....Your "take care" is little more than a sign of the desperate once exposed - insult and run. It's akin to turning on the light, exposing the cockroach and watching it creepily scurry away. Run, little cockroach, run.
2:46 - 2:54 abit more curvature than I was expecting.
Now, I’m *really* listening.
Gretchen Wieners: “Ex-boyfriends are just off-limits to friends. I mean, that’s just, like, the rules of feminism.”
-Mean Girls
3:15 "So toxic feminism is just a Symptom but not the disease?" Really?! You could excuse every bad behavior this way.
When? It's been toxic for decades.
It's been toxic from the start.
@@jbwoodcrafts always has been
The answer to the question is as soon as they start speaking
As soon as I want to get paid as much as the man next to me doing the exact same work like me, that's toxic. ok.
RUclips User My dear, if you really think feminism merely about accessing equal pay wages as men, then I’m afraid your sorely misguided. When feminism began in Europe, that was necessary because women back then had virtually zero rights. The feminism now? In America? 😂 oh boy. Little more than a hate group scraping the bottom of the barrel for every ounce of control over men. Facts
Stephen Greico Great. Could we have a conversation about that? As in, taking each other serious?
Teaaaaa😂
@@youtubeuser2691 have you actually tried to prove this fake gender pay gap yet? go to your local stores ask the woman on the counter how much she earns and then ask the man you will find the majority of the women actually get a few cents more than the men you shouldn't just upright consume ideological propaganda without fact checking it first
When does Feminism becames toxic? Since the moment it exists.
Wow so true
Not when. Why?
i love how the story of enron in her talk mirrored the story of the women-only competition in regard to the overarching point she was making; when short-term gains are put above actual long-term solutions to the actual problem, it's gonna end in disaster. both times, it was about getting results quickly: "how can we make more money today?", "how can we get more female leaders now?", instead of "how can we supply gas to our customers?", "how can we move towards a more equal society for everyone?"
When? When it exists... fact. Hate it, i care not.
Family court shouldn’t be bias.
This was a good talk
Feminism
Is going to produce a lot of strong independent women in youth
who will get old and find they are Lonely childless unloved
Probably owning a lot of cats
That is right!! Lol 😂
When? It is
Finally someone said it
When the word feminism itself came to existence
Nope
@@codyhanson1344 Yup
@@codyhanson1344 yes
@@hellogoodbye4061 I don't think you guys understand what feminism really is about
@@codyhanson1344 Hey, just goggled the definition of feminism and this is what popped up. Thanks for requesting, our readers will benefit.
fem·i·nism
/ˈfeməˌnizəm/
noun
A conflict theory that regards men as oppressors and women as the oppressed, and masculinity as toxic.
Synonym: Misandry, feminazism, cancer.
since Day 1.
I once had a woman at my university blame me in public for "not caring" about a mass shooting. She never bothered to reach out to me in private. She simply started a smear campaign against me. I started defending myself and this just made me look guilty. She never once made a political point. It was just this ad hominem attack on my character. How am I supposed to respond to this? Maybe attack her character? Feeling is something that is subjective and I don't understand why people think they can tell others how they should feel. Furthermore, it's not constructive. If you are going to alienate men from the state, then you are going to leave women to take down the mass shooters and confiscate guns from households. Something tells me that might not go very well.
The correct answer is ALLWAYS !
No, feminists who think genders are equal are good, by saying this your sexist yourslef
@@jakesouthern4050 You can't blame him, highlighted feminists are the ones who has a mindset of Kill All Men. While feminists with good intentions are getting bombarded in the process
I agree with the idea that feminism is undermining itself via forced segregation but a lot of the points that follow are all over the map. Worse yet, she doesn't provide any concrete plan on how we can improve the situation - instead she offers a bunch of vague and idealistic generalities that don't paint a clear picture, let alone a path toward that vision.
"We must make conscious movement toward an open dialogue without attached ideologies or identifications". That's something I can wholeheartedly agree with but it isn't likely in 2020. Both Feminists and Mens' Rights Activists are firmly planted in their ideologies and identifications, along with almost every other group involved in identity politics.
Agreed - anyone who labels themselves with an organisation or ideology can not and will never be reasoned with. That's not to say that it isn't worth participating in debates or community improving projects - just don't base your entire identity on those things. Instead of avoiding people you find weird or "dangerous" seek them out of try to understand their point of view.
I find that most feminists I talk to actually aren't radical monsters at all. They are quite agreeable people who are just acting on personal experiences and chose to (imho wrongfully) make their whole lives revolve around these experiences.
Likewise most hyper masculine people I've encountered are simply using a rough "no-nonsense" attitude to shield themselves from the world. Again they have had bad experiences and (wrongfully) let that dictate how they deal with others.
Exactly they make out feminists to be karens and hags but what they dont see is that they arent doing anything wrong to the society. Feminists are just stating their point in hope some people will actually see where they are coming from and do something about it. What is blinding them is thinking women always get what they want and always get the benifet of the doubt. They are wrong. Women get abused just as much as men do. Maybe even more. Women are easier to break then men are and they need major support. Thank you for understanding the good in feminism. Have a nice day:)
The difference between feminism and men's rights activist is that one exists and the other one doesn't. And even if mens rights activist do exist they're such a small group they are discounted and are not being listened to whatsoever.
Most people aren't in hard ideological camps. It's only something like 10% on each side that are on the extremes. There's plenty of room in the middle to have a dialogue. It only seems so extreme because social media has allowed the extremes to grab the microphone.
@@jamiedorsey4167 or extrems sides are heard more cause they know how to be exceptional or unique in crowd 🤣
Look at the name. It started with that and goes down from there.
Already there been there for a long time
It is toxic by nature
This is one of those videos you instantly like.
Question: "When does feminism become toxic?" Answer: "The very nanosecond that it appears. It's like covid-19. One should eliminate or avoid it as soon as possible."
Anything that creates divisions like any "isums" its not good. Look up the suffix. Everyone is unique in personality and united in heart and love. Simply dont date haters simple.
When does feminism become toxic? From the moment of conception. 👍
When did poison become toxic
The pendulum will swing back far in the other direction before resting in the middle. Ride the ride and enjoy. There is always something valuable to learn from every situation.
Answer: From 3rd wave and onwards.
From the moment it was created
You could technically say it was like this from the get go. Back during first wave feminism, women wanted the right to vote, just like men did. But they refused to be part of the draft for the military when they got the right to vote.
@@ardellandaya1965 yup. right from the start. only want the perks, not the responsibility
Always
Just keep it up feminism... But I just think about it because you're really close on getting what you want....
I absolutely love this and agree!
🖕😐👎
when? all the time.
Before it's inception as a idea..
seems interesting, but I can't hear it.
In 2020
About 30 years ago... you missed it...
They just want the right, but they don't take the responsibility needed to fulfill to gain a right.
When?.. from the beginning it has been toxic
How is it toxic to fight for a woman’s right to vote? Jw
"FC Dallas under-15 boys squad beat the U.S. Women's National Team in a scrimmage:
IMMEDIATELY
Feminism will soon graduate to the level women women will demand to be called husband and husband should be called wife...
And it's getting worse in other countries too. Sooner or later they will attempt to do what Denmark are doing.
At its inception. The end.
she's hot in a nerdy girl way
48 k views in a Ted talk it's kinda disappointing is it the RUclips algorithm opressing controversial topics like feminism is toxic.. i suppose
PS- China are also on the list of those countries who are in a VERY BAD way right now. And things are only getting worse.
She has big chips on both her shoulders.
When was Billie Jean King born? I'd say that day give or take an hour.
Smart enough to have a baby not smart enough to say “no” and to get a hysterectomy. Wtf.
Kathleen. Kennedy.
The lady who ruined Star Wars?
The force is female, the movie is woke and disney will get broke.
When you claim you are oppressed and have to fight something
They are no better than the past men
What does the modern day women have to offer the modern day man (i.e. not being at home due to to much work ambitions leading to poor motherhood. FACT: there is no such thing as work life balance, its a fallacy and somthing has to be scrificed and most of the time its family life due to women not actually knowing what they need and not what they want, I wait for the comments.
Both men and women should be respected.
But i have a deep problem with feminism as a girl. And many feminism attack me that oh you dont respect girls,you like men to be the boss and hurt you and honestly things like this make me hate feminism more everyday!
And i feel that oh im a girl and they attack me like this what about men?how can the handle it?
I cant belive that women want equality cuz they are just dragging mens down.
And the think they done is way too diffrent than what they do!
I want to wear things i like ,say what my opinion is and do the jobs that i want and i agree that we should and can do what men do but not dragging others down...
When the reason for its existence in the developed world became unnecessary anymore. We have hordes of idiots talking about "...but the battle isn't over" - screw them, battle is more than over. Why they dont take the battle where there is still basic women rights at stake? - you see the news in Afghanistan? See the woman fighting for their rights in the streets facing armed opposition? THOSE are real feminists.
Y
I'm a 14 year old girl and i had no idea that feminism could be toxic till this kind of video popped up on my recommendations.
Well the more you know
Good that you know it on this age. Dont let the wall get you!!!
Omg why do they take forever to get to the point?
how do you do this with foundations with unlimited tax free money funding schools and pretty much framing feminism by the metrics of a religion?
From the very beginning when satanists created it
O
When The Creator made Women
Says the woman who drove here in a car invented by a man
Hyper masculinity is a disease now. Nice. That's not at all sexist. /S
This had to be one of the pointless things I've ever heard...
How is it pointless?
@@simpboi69 he is an Indian like me and trust me, womens are seen as God in here and we have high amount of simps.
@@riaanvahora489 chill bro pata hai ;-)
@@simpboi69 mai jaanta hu ಥ‿ಥ
Yaad hai jab school mai hame sikhya jaata thaa ki girls ko hit nahi karna chahiye ya phir men ko bina kisi evidence ke log guilty maan lete the aur jail mai daal dete thee
Gender issues are strictly individual. Millions of women don't vote for female candidates. Just an example.
can someone please explain why and how feminism is toxic?
Exactly how is it hurting you guys?
@I. S Is this sarcastic?
If being too positive can be toxic feminism can too.
@I. S telling women they have to be mums and wives is damaging TO US. Your way of thinking is why we’re still here, and society should adapt around our needs, not us trying to have to maintain an oppressive structure. I should be able to feel good about not wanting to get married or have kids, I should be rewarded just as much as someone who does want those things.
Simple, for Feminists it's always the "Do as I say, not what I do", they keep quiet about Misandry for example, ¿And they then dare to say the hate Sexism?, They want "Rights" without same PUNISHMENTS and Sacrifices.
Bruh birthrates are declining now yall missed it oof
She has great legs
We've talk enough about woman rights, how about talking about woman wrongs
60 years ago. Or actually immediately when white men gave you the right to vote.
The description of the talk is sexist. Stating that 'women should use their own unique gifts and talents like nurture, compassion, empathy' assigns specific characteristics to women. This is sexist. In reality, these qualities are found in varying amounts in various women, various men and various non-binary people - these characteristics are not gender-related. This sort of assigning of qualities/characteristics to specific genders is part of the problem that keeps fuelling biases like men do science, women do art, men run businesses, women look after kids. It needs to stop.
It really does we are all humans and there should be no exact difference whatsoever
“Non-binary people” is a made up term
@@Sigueme1 this whole comment is a joke
You're a joke, Women are biologically like that.
"Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection.
But I permit not a woman to teach, nor to have authority over the man, but to be in silence.
For Adam was first formed, then Eve.
And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression.
Yet she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and love and holiness with propriety."
Not as toxic as this neck beard comment section.
I was too scared to comment this, thanks.
Vastly more toxic, indeed the very source of the bitterness between men and wymmyn today.
It has been for years .
Feminism is nearly impossible to mock nowadays as it has become a parody unto itself.