Daughter of Schizophrenic Man-Jessica
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- Опубликовано: 5 сен 2024
- Soft White Underbelly interview and portrait of Jessica Zemple, the daughter of a schizophrenic man.
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Jessica's website is www.lifeshucker.com. Her documentary is titled “Cracked”. Jessica’s RUclips channel is / @jessicazemple
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#documentary #marklaita #softwhiteunderbelly #relationshipstory #schizophrenia #mentalhealthawareness #fatherdaughterstory #swu
This woman is so pure and beautiful. Not an ounce of hate. Incredible
Until you get me behind a slow driver...😉 Thank you for the kind words. It has definitely taken a lot of work and love to get here.
@@jessicazemplehaha same!
Out of your mind, quite literally the opposite!
MINNESOTA NICE=BULLSHIT, I KNOW THIS LOOK, YOU'RE ALL FOOLED! 😅😂
My husband is an addict with bi polar and severe ADHD. He had a complete mental breakdown during the pandemic (which finally lead to the bi polar diagnosis) and it has shook my world. I was pregnant when it started. The psychosis was very scary.. I probably called the kaiser mental health line at least 100 times. The cops twice. Thank you, Lord for the strength to not give up on him.. We've been together since we were 16 and I knew we would struggle with his addiction but had no idea about the bipolar. He never gave up and I never gave up. He's finally properly medicated and we are healing.
Thank you so much for sharing your father's story. I can't wait to watch the documentary.
Blessings
My favorite part of this interview is she had so many opportunities to shit talk her dad or tell horrible stories from her childhood and she chose to talk about the good memories of her father later in life ❤❤
Thanks for seeing that! I have worked hard at not replaying things I don't want to keep reliving. I am just grateful I got more time with him to make new memories too. I know that not everyone gets that chance.
@@jessicazempleits something i really admire. Finding the good in a bad situation. Focusing on the happy instead of the sad. It takes courage to overcome trauma like that to not only forgive him but cherish the time you did with him later in life. You are very inspirational
@@jessicazemple I admire you because I’m also a daughter of a schizophrenic father. I think he is still alive somewhere in the world but I haven’t been in contact with him for many years after he physically assaulted me and almost killed my mother. I appreciate you sharing your story. And for those that applaud you for not retracing the traumas you’ve experienced (or saying “bad” things about your dad) I feel is a little immature. That makes outsiders to your story feel comfortable…However someone affected by trauma chooses to tell their story doesn’t matter. Staying positive isn’t always possible, but I can see how much you’ve healed. You’re incredible. ♥️
@@ashleylocke3022 there are so many beautiful things you have said here and layers of complexity as it sounds like you know intimately. You’ll see in my short film that I do still carry some anger and some days I discover more that needs to be healed. It is a lifelong journey. I honor your choices and path too. It is not an easy journey nor a clear, singular path for anyone and hope that you have found many pearls through all the grit too. 💜
It might be easier when you can blame paranoid schizophrenia it's easy to say it's not him it's just the sickness... when other people appear stable or normal and then hurt their kids or act like nothing was ever wrong that's when kids can have more issues with closure so to speak
Jessica’s approach to interacting with her father is a template for exploring everything. Thank you, Jessica and Mark☀️
What a huge compliment! Thank you!!!
I agree. What really captured me is how much she tries to see things from her father's eyes, and recognition that there are some things that will probably be beyond her ability to understand. This takes a huge amount of awareness and empathy. The world would be better if more people had this.
My husband can write a book on growing up with a schizophrenic parent.
He was unlucky enough to be adopted as an infant by an awesome high ranking military Father, but a schizophrenic Mother. The abuse he suffered as a child, while the Father he adored was MIA in Vietnam was STAGGERING. By then she was unmedicated, as ANY medical help was the “men trying to poison her”. She went on the run with him, every manner of abuse occurring. He was a little kid. The State finally hospitalized her and he ended up in an orphanage as his Father was MIA.
He was almost adopted out, when his Father escaped captivity and got home. His Father went through a long time of medical treatment himself because of the physical and mental trauma of being in captivity. He showed up in full uniform at the orphanage to collect his boy. My husband still tears up talking about this day.
When the Mother finally got out of the State mental institution, his Father picked her up, laid down the rules as it came to their son, and took care of HER till his death. Unimaginable the loyalty he showed to the woman that was no longer the person he married. As he said she’s SICK. Not evil.
My husband knowing she WAS and always would be SICK…took over caring for her till she died. Mind you UNMEDICATED. By the time I met him, she was wearing pots tied over her breasts and a stainless strainer on her head to “stop the radio people from shooting her”.
My husband was able to separate himself from the trauma as she wasn’t his biological mother. He was given a SICK Mom, but the BEST DAD as compensation. And that’s how he feels to this day.
She actually had ONE lucid moment right before she passed. She was being rushed to the hospital as she was body ridden with cancer. (NO MEDS not even aspirin). In the ambulance she held my husband’s hand, and in a perfectly normal way told him she loved him and thanked him. She hadn’t spoke in a normal way for years.
At least at the very end my husband could take that last lucid moment she had.
This woman used to be a singer with the Big Bands back in the days before being hit by a street car brought on the schizophrenia. The pictures of her before the onset and after are literally two different people.
I will always have the utmost respect for the kindness and understanding my husband showed towards her. His awesome Dad raised a good boy.
Wow thanks for sharing that story! He’s a remarkable man for that!
@@svedishsadie Thank you. I’m a lucky wife of a good guy. 🌹🌹🌹
That’s so very sad…😢
@@elizabethbarmann5361 It was sad, and it was so many life lessons for a family. I knew what kind of person I was lucky enough to meet when I met his Mother and watched how he treated her. I swore he’d have that in me until we both die too. Thank you for commenting. 🌹🙂
@@LeniDell people have zero compassion for those suffering from severe mental illness, and you’re definitely one of those people. I shudder to think how you would treat your child if they were schizophrenic. I think you would be nothing short of a terrible mother to them. Terrible
My mother is a paranoid schizophrenic. It was very very hard growing up. I went to foster care and had to navigate life on my own. I can definitely relate to this woman. Wishing love and prosperity upon her life. ❤
I wish YOU love and prosperity too!!!
My mother as well. As the oldest I looked out for her…. In a store she thought the cops were coming for her..or she would go the wrong way on a busy street. After they took away the ability to Commit …. We’d have to call the cops to come and take her away, so she’d go before a Judge. It was awful. My focus growing up was on her. I hope you are doing well and at peace. ❤
I have your exact story! I'm here watching this because I can relate to her, but closely also relate to you. ❤
I'm 39, had schizophrenia for 20 years. I wouldn't wish this disorder on anyone. But most schizophrenics aren't violent or abusive. Some are but rarely when they are being treated with medication under a good psychiatrist and have some support around them.
I'm convinced the drugs coming into this country are causing mental illness. I tried a drug like 7 yrs ago.... I damn near lost my mind. Fortunately, I recovered but reality took months to be restored for me.
True. Being ghosted and abandoned is the worst thing you can do to someone with a mental illness
@@ashleyhenderson9524and people do it all the time. People are frail
yeah, i don't have any memories of my schizophrenic uncle being violent. he was medicated and lived with my grandpa until the day he died. i hope you have all the care and support you need.
She seems quite ignorant. I had to comment on the fact that Paranoid and Hebephrenic schizophrenia are so different in terms of violent symptoms. But as usual the false information will now continue. I’m surprised she didn’t mention the old chestnut split personality. 🥱Zzzz.
Psychosis of a loved one is hard to deal with. You won’t know it till you’ve dealt with it!
Amen to that!
My ex husband. I spent 9 months trying to help him after separating before leaving all the way. It was the hardest experience. The only people who understand are professionals or people have experienced it first hand
@@zoebrannigan50 boy, ain't that the truth!
Such a wise intuitive, and open daughter of a schizophrenic father. She peeled back the layers and found love
I so love how you said that - it has definitely been layers and it seems as if I keep finding more every day...
♥️
I grew up with a schizophrenic/alcoholic father. I relate to much of what she says. I had 9 siblings as well. My Dad was the breadwinner of the family. I’ve always wanted to get our story out there. Thank you, Mark for giving this subject the spotlight. 🙏🏼
10 kids depending on someone who is schizophrenic to provide?? Wheres your book
@@fall3nable I know, right! We also grew up in Canada’s largest housing project. There were race wars, extreme poverty, alcohol and drugs but there was no one dealing with a Dad who had to take months off work at a time, exhibiting odd behaviour (oftentimes he took on the identity of a religious figure, like Moses). Myself and some of my siblings were in care of the foster system in Canada when my Mom tried to leave the situation.
@@jessp24Tell your story❤😊
@@Kim-Berly200 I will. One of these days. ☺️
If/when you want to tell your story, you have come to the right place.
I work in the mental health field. People living with schizophrenia are some of the most loving, caring, funny & unique individuals! It is not always fun and games, more often then not, it’s a nightmare.. but there are those moments where you just look at them for who they truly are and it makes it all worth it. You explained it all so well. God bless you ❤
Thank you for being in service to these beautiful souls!!! I absolutely LOVED all of my father's social workers, the police officers, and more. True angels!!!
😢u dont really get schizoprenia, or phychosis...
@@jackki6869you are 💯 right. I don’t understand it and have dedicated my life to trying to just to be closer to my father. I am not sure I ever will without being in his shoes. I would be so honored to learn from your knowledge if you are willing to share. I truly believe that is how we all grow together is by learning from other people’s wisdom and experience.
My dad was a heavy drug user and schizophrenic too. Don't discount how much drugs influence this. Including marijuana, it's not as harmless as the cool kids say.
Thanks for sharing from your journey
Cannabis psychosis is a serious thing! ❤
A family member has been through psychosis THREE times because of marijuana. A lot of people don't want to believe it. We all have different brain chemistries and different genetics. This family member's psychosis ended up developing into bipolar. The genetics for bipolar are already there in someone and the psychosis episodes just opened the door for it to begin. It's definitely been very heartbreaking to watch.
It’s harmless , unless you have this disease
Those prone to any sort of schizoid or paranoid disorder should absolutely never touch marijuana.
Amazing that you were able to create this documentary. My cousin had Scitzo, my older cousin. He was so kind, over the years my other cousin and I decided to find what group home he was in. After my Great Aunt passed, he shortly passed after right around 41. My cousin and I have fond memories before the disease took over… Thank you for sharing your reality, and Rest in Peace Cousin James. 🕊️💙
Disease 😂
@@jamal5326 schizophrenia is not a disease? Is that what you're implying with your stupid laughing emoji? Have you heard of mental disease or defect? A Schizophrenic has a diseased brain. What's your excuse?
@@jamal5326 what's the laughing for? Are you doubting that schizophrenia is a disease? Have you never heard of mental disease or defect? Because a schizophrenic has a diseased brain. What's your excuse?
@@jamal5326Seems like you missed the entire point of her comment. Grow TF up, cupcake. Finding that funny says a lot about you.
Why are you laughing, @jamal5326?
Schizophrenia & many other mental illnesses are diseases of the brain.
Mental illness since I can remember. I thought it was bad before. Then I overdosed on prescription meds and was in hospital in an induced coma 3days. I woke up angry and blacked out a lot. I Went through a prolonged period of years with psychosis and it’s terrifying to experience. It’s been gone a few years now but I still get anxiety about ever experiencing it again. I regret making my life harder and scarier. I now have insight to what schizophrenia is and the shit people with these illnesses go through plus the stigma is huge. There’s some great channels on utube with schizophrenic content creators too. I also have chosen not to have children due to mental illness in the genes. Much love to any other mental health warriors 💗
liar
What other channels are there about schiz??
❤❤
@@treehouse8501Why are you calling this person a liar when it said that certain drugs can induce schizophrenia.
I have been there also.I stayed using harder drugs which led to me being diagnosed with Schizo and phycocis and hiv.Mental Health issues in Dublin Ireland are a joke.THANK YOU FOR SHARING YOUR STORY.❤❤❤
What a beautiful and compassionate soul.
🙏 thank you Sabrina
@@jessicazemple as a fellow coach (although my focus is exec coaching) I can totally relate about it being one most of the rewarding things to do and challenging life experiences adds to your toolbox. That being said your experience is one that few would have the strength to handle the way you did. Thank you for sharing your story and memorializing it in film.
My son has schizophrenia .. he’s in his early 30s i’ll never abandon him but his father and I have had to put boundaries down and he can’t live with us or get our help unless he’s on medication… Right now luckily he fears being on the street so he takes it. It’s a difficult journey when someone has a mental illness and they don’t think they do or they think they can cure it organically 😞😞
I appreciate you sharing your boundaries. It is not always easy and so important to know what they are for you. So much love to your family!
What she said - “find your way to safety “ is so real - and that feeling like calling the police seems like a betrayal
Plus police will either do nothing or make things worse.
@@Cotillion308 a lot of times this is the case for sure .. more often than not, when it didn’t make it worse, it was a waste of time and caused a lot of added stress for sure.. in some cases there can be actual resolutions found at the end of the day
So true. My dad was an alcoholic, my mom , my little brother, and I would just sit in a tiny closet for hours and hours until my dad passed out. Although as a child it would have caused another level of trauma.
@@adrianapalomo6401that made me feel super sad to hear what you went through.
I hope you have a sense of safety and peace now that that is over.
Have a happy day!
@@Cotillion308 Way to take what she said and turn it into something totally different and irrelevant.
You exemplify “Honor thy Mother and thy Father”
As a Schizophrenic (I’m mid video) this makes my heart warm that parents with the disorder can be honored even though they struggle. I appreciate it. TBH I’ve been in JAIL and thought this is the SAFEST place for me. We can get better ❤
Thank you for the kind words
@@user-lq9wg4hr2l You absolutely can be honored should you be a parent or not! I honor you now for sharing so courageously.
Beautiful comment. In general I really like the people who watch Soft White Underbelly .
Both my mother and brother suffer from schizo-affective disorder, so I can definitely relate.
Same here.. older sister with same disorder. It’s been very difficult to forgive some of her behavior toward me while trying to be compassionate
Me too both my mom and brother, it’s hard. I want to get my brother help but it seems impossible 😢
Wishing you strength as you navigate all the loving choices for both your mother and brother.
@@TheFunkybert I absolutely hear you. I have had a hard time learning acceptance while still having boundaries. Some days were definitely easier than others.
@@ADOH3045 I so wish there was a clear path to help them! Having the desire to help while having no definite solution was really hard for me - and maybe you too?
Be very careful in choosing who you decide to share your inner feelings and personal life with. They will use it against you and this holds the most true with co workers. She mentioned opening up to someone and then being judged for it
💯
❤
ONLY IF YOU LET THEM USE THEM AGAINST YOU. THEY CAN "SAY" ALL THEY WANT. IT IS (OR WAS) YOUR REALITY.
IF YOU DON'T LIKE YOUR CURRENT REALITY- THEN CHANGE IT OR WORK ON IT. you can only stop trying after your very last breath. (Sorry. I was not screaming. I was emphasizing what I had to learn the HARD WAY. Spare yourselves. I don't have enemies, but even if I DID- I would not wish them what I've survived until the time of this reply.
GO HUG YOURSELVES! ALL OF YOU. 😅😂😅😂❤❤❤
True, I can’t even go into the store I last worked in because I opened up about something I shouldn’t have. I heard a few laughing and making remarks as I went shopping, I was 19 when I worked there and now I’m 25, people do no forget
It is a bummer that people judge - and, now I use it as a filter of who I want in my life.
I can’t wait to see the documentary! I love how she loved her dad where he was at and didn’t try to change the way he lived etc
Awww, thank you! I can't wait for you to see it and hear what you think. It is coming out 11/11.
For those in similar situations, I highly recommend joining a local NAMI chapter - whether it's their family-to-family class or one of their support groups. It has been so helpful for me and my husband know others in the same situation as us, who won't judge, and are able to provide love and support when you are going through tough times with a loved one.
NAMI is phenomenal! Thank you for sharing.
My mom had bipolar disorder and was undiagnosed until much later, when I was an adult and didn't live with her anymore. She had multiple suicide attempts and psychotic episodes, when I was growing up.
It marks you for life, it screws you up deep inside, even though you ended up "fine". There's a pain inside and a remorse for not being able to having developed a healthy, loving relationship with your parent.
Thank you for this interview and for this documentary project.
Similar situation here and I couldn’t agree more with you about the long-term effect. It just never goes away. Good luck to you xo
@@hombrequemiralaluna I'm so sorry that your life was brutal for you. I send you nothing but positive and loving thoughts.
Yes my father was the same, had bipolar, tried to kill himself four times. He could be a nice father at times, but he often wasn't well and very paranoid. He even stopped me and my sister visiting at times, he controlled my mother in later years, but she loved him deeply even though he could be an absolute nightmare. I'm 48, now, my father is dead, but I'm am scarred sadly but more concerning is my kids don't have good memories of their grandad and that really hurts me.
My mother is the same , she lived with us after her suicide attempt but later refused to get help due to her psychotic episodes and she is now homeless and or at times living with another mentally ill person. I haven't seen her in over a year. I don't know how this ends. Do they get help when they get older? She is 60 now and I don't know if she will ever change. Am I waiting for a miracle?
So well put❤😢
My mother has paranoid schizophrenia. She has four children and all of us were put in the foster care system. The story I heard growing up was that I was born at home in the bathroom because my mom refused medical treatment and didn’t want to take me to the hospital. Long story short my older brother, who was temporarily in my mom’s custody ended up calling the police and I was immediately put in foster care because of previous incidents of neglect with her other children. When I was younger, I had so much hate and animosity towards her, but now being a grown woman and having my own child, I can only appreciate not being raised by her because I could imagine the abuse and trauma I would’ve suffered from her. To this day, she does not want to take medication. I can only hope and pray one day that she will…..blessings to all ❤️
I love how you have reframed it to help your heart heal. You must be a phenomenal mother 💜
@@jessicazemple thank you for sharing your story ❤
Someone I truly loved suffered from psychosis and I had to leave because I was literally scared for my life. The pull between love and fear is something I wouldn't wish on anybody. 💔
Someone I once cared about suffered from schizophrenia. They eventually attacked me while they were psychotic. It really messed me up for years after.
I know not everyone with schizophrenia is violent but in my case they were. I hope they are doing well now. All I ever wanted was for them to get the help they needed.
They miss you but they probably understand
I honor you for taking care of you - and, I hear the conflict of loving and fearing the same person. Wishing you peace and love to your heart.
@@Minouser8 I am sorry you had to go through all of that - and, I can still feel the deep love and concern you have for them in your comments. Wishing you both healing and love.
@@jessicazemple thank you so much I appreciate your words. I am healing and am now in a healthy relationship. ✨
I’m the daughter of a man with Schizophrenia. Takes courage to talk about it, with the stigma around it. Comforting to hear another person talk about it. Lucky to still have my dad around, doing my best to reconnect more with my dad currently.
So much love to you and your dad as you find ways to connect with him
Jess, I had no idea you had to go through this. There I was thinking you and your brother had no struggles. To speak on the tribulations you experienced is going to be such a help for those going through similar experiences.
Thank you my dear friend for seeing me and looking beyond the surface!
I would definitely agree my brother was diagnosed with Schizophrenia at 18 I was 15. It changed our family dynamics, heart breaking to say the least. Sean wasn't ever aggressive unlike your father however he also wanted to take care of other ppl with mental illness. Also brought ppl in off the streets that he befriended.
Honestly a real protector not unlike your father.
Because we were so close in age he was my light, and my best friend, his demise was brain cancer.
Sean passed last year I miss him every single day.
Sean taught me many things humility and empathy for those out there who didn't get a decent chance. At showing themselves and others what they are capable of.
Life is so very precious.
❤
I am so sorry to hear about Sean's passing - and, he sounds like an amaaaaazing person! I love that he had such a huge heart and really appreciate you sharing his light with us. Sending you warm hugs in those tender moments missing your best friend 💜
My dad had paranoid schizophrenia, but he was a great dad. There were things that happened when he was obsessing over government and such when I was younger. Or religion. He would keep me and my mom up lecturing us through the door all night talking about aliens, or religion. He also always said God talked through him. But otherwise I had a great childhood and he died in 2018 of a heart attack and I would give almost anything to have him back here with me.
I so love your love for your dad! Huge hugs to you!
My dad would tell anyone who listened that he was going to un alive our former president (Donald). It was scary to hear his rants and try to redirect the conversation. At the time, he did have firearms; so glad he agreed to sell them all to his neighbor.
An amazing story and so refreshing to hear someone so positive and nonjudgmental!
Thank you!!! It is a constant practice. I even found myself judging myself as not good enough for Mark's channel because he has so many incredible souls. Funny how worthiness pops up in the sneakiest ways...
The statement of “find your way to safety “ is so very powerful. Anyone who has lived with a family member with paranoid schizophrenia feels this statement to the core.
It sounds like you know this journey and send you so much strength and power!
@@jessicazemple Thank you and to you as well . Thank you for telling your truth , i hope this can touch the lives of so many of the survivors.
My son is like this. He won't get diagnosed and won't speak to me. Thankful he invested in bit coin and became an electrician before it fully developed. He was forced to retire at 36 but at least he's financially well off and for some strange reason still has clarity about money. He also has OCD so he keeps his home organized and clean. It could also be drug and alcohol induced but he won't give up either vice.
I can only imagine all you have gone through and wish you both so much peace and love.
It's refreshing to hear this. I'm going through a very difficult time currently with my bipolar/manic depressive mother. She's made it to the age of 71, how she did it, I'm not sure. She's had so many close calls due to one health issue or another over the years.
My sister and I went through tons of childhood trauma with her and now I'm her full time carer for the last several years. She's been in and out of numerous psychiatric units this past year alone. They hold her 2 weeks then back out they send her, to me, even though she's still manic. I don't know how much time i have left with her, I'm doing what i can to be there for her, but when her mania is driven by hate, it's impossible. She cycles week to week. She's like a forever child with an awfully nasty mouth when she's off.
This woman's accounts of the little happy memories she tells about her father, like when she stepped in old hard dog poo and how differently their standards of living were is completely relatable, and made me laugh. I have a ton of my own little stories, that i hold dear, but most wouldn't understand. Thank you for your story.
I so honor you for all you are doing for your mother - and, holding your memories as treasures.
I’m the daughter of a paranoid schizophrenic Dad. I’ve lived with him as the person he is now for the last 38 yrs, it’s hard and I did go through a period of time where I couldn’t be near him due to my feelings of him having ruined my teen years. I now have an amazing relationship with him, he’ll never change but I love him as he is.
Dear Rachel, I so appreciate you sharing and love hearing your acceptance. It speaks volumes of what you have done in your life to live with such love.
My story is pretty similar to Jessica ‘s , I grew up with crazy bipolar and schizophrenic father who abused us our entire childhood, my mum suffered huge in his hand , violence , rage , danger all that we witnessed. “Find a way to safety “oh yeah that’s exactly how it was , It was super traumatic and hard growing up . I could relate to every bit of Jessica ‘s story and the feelings she was going through.
Thank you for sharing ❤️ sending hugs and lots love Jessica ❤️
Soooo much love to you for all you have experienced in life too.
P.S.A.
I have schizoaffective disorder. I volunteer with the National Alliance on Mental Illness. We do discussion panels with local law enforcement, FBI, medical schools. I just wanted to tell as many people as possible that if you or a loved one is in crisis and you need to call the police, you can ask for a CIT certified officer. These officers go through a rigorous training on how to better help. Those is crisis. This training is being done nationwide.
YEEEESSSSS!!!! Thank you for making such a positive impact on our world.
@@jessicazemple Thank you for sharing, where can we see the Doc?
I appreciate her being so honest, vulnerable. i felt her bittersweet love for her Dad navigating the madness. I Like her alot!❤
Gross women
Omg bittersweet sadness and loss and love and frustration and love of his spirit . . . feel the same way about my Dad . . .
Thank you for truly seeing me.
@@justkim9037 You get it...
@@jessicazemple 💖💔
Schizophrenia was absolutely haunting to the early psychologists. Then the lid was completely blown off in 1943 when the effects of LSD were first discovered. Here was this molecule that in an extremely small amount - an amount which would fit on the head of a needle, would temporarily induce intense schizophrenic like symptoms in otherwise healthy people. It changed the playing field.
She's not the only person who has a hunch that there is something more to schizophrenia than just a tragic mental disorder.
YES!!! Thank you for this. I have been reading more about this thinking now. It is funny how I came to this idea on what I thought was my own - but it truly is out there in what I call global consciousness. It is that old adage - the teacher appears when the student is ready. I truly believe I am open to this idea which is now why I am seeing it more and more.
Jessica and Marc, Thank you for a great interview. A peek into the devastation, horror and terror of mental illness for both the client and family. Yet it was also a reflection of the love, grace and caring for one another. I had a 37-year career in MH, in & outpatient, line staff, coordination, and training. Also provided 25 years of crisis/emergency services and as an involuntary evaluation/commitment officer and consultant. Jessica the great piece you noted is the love, caring, and grace for clients and their family is needed and the all to frequently lack; especially in the MH system and its programs. I found my experience to be challenging, awe inspiring, and humbling. Many clients have been master teachers on my journey. Teaching and being examples of courage, integrity, compassion and gracefulness. Lessons that were far beyond what was taught in grad school. Blessings!
Wow, wow, wow! What love and wisdom you have and the exact person to serve these beautiful souls. Thank you for dedicating your life to helping people like my father and me.
My older brother has paranoid schizophrenia. He’s a Marine veteran and a father of 3. He’s currently in a mental hospital with a jail sentence lingering over his head. He’s near genius but his mind runs like a race engine with no oil.
That’s so intense, and must be an every day emotional roller coaster for all of you. Best of luck on your journey and I hope that he can restabilize somehow.
I hate that your brother has huge mental problem, but your description of it is spot on.
🙏🏼
What a tough road to walk for everyone involved. Wishing you all the very best.
Wow. I literally was listening to this on my playlist as I clean up my living area and had to stop and search this video up on my phone, specifically so I could share this comment.
I just want to say
Thank you.
Thank you SO, very much.
You have such a kindness and warmth about you. Even just in watching your behvaiour in this video kind of restores my faith in humanity, even if only momentarily.
You have SOMEHOW managed to take all of the trauma and hurt that you have experienced as a result of growing up with your father fighting his own battle with schizophrenia each and every day.. and used each experience to ultimately form a loving and judgement free bond with your Dad, even after ALL the trauma that had potentially been caused in your younger years..... simply amazing!!❤
Now that is something to be proud of!!
I wish more people could be on your level....
Thank you for seeing me and my journey. It has not been easy - years of healing through many modalities - but it is possible. It is a daily practice and new things are often revealed to me that still need healing. My hope is that I can somehow help others by showing them my path. Keep being your amazing self! Your light just brighten my world so please keep shining your light!
I wish there were more people like Jess. She is an absolute gem 💎
Thank you Rita. I suspect you are a gem too!
Thank you for sharing my story! I felt so alone in this experience and you verbalized all the feelings I felt for so long so beautifully. I’m 60 yrs old and first time I’ve ever heard my story from someone else even after decades in sobriety. Can’t wait to see the documentary and thank God for the VA for caring for my Dad so well. Thank you sooooo much for your courage to share this!!!❤️
I so hear you! Just this year was the first time I met another daughter of a man who experienced schizophrenia. There is something special about having someone truly know what it is like to walk in your shoes (even if our journeys are unique). Thank YOU for sharing too!
My husband's father was a paranoid schizophrenia plus many other things. He would change his #, disappear, thought people were killing him so felt more safe in an abandoned building. Loved to go to Las Vegas. Lived homeless on streets of Denver. Had terrible experience.
It sounds so hard and can only imagine what it has been like for your husband. Wishing everyone peace and love.
“No one ever see’s me “ . That one statement shows the state of humanity,, the state of humans . I wonder how many of us fear losing our jobs and not having a back up plan that could end up with being treated even less than the job we are trying to keep hold of . The” have nots “ know more about human existence . I have seen far more humanity in the “ have nots” ,, because they know .
I so appreciate you sharing your wisdom!
Among the most impactful interviews you've posted! Thank you BOTH!
WOW!!! Thank you for that HUGE compliment.
She is a beautiful soul but man that must have been so hard to go through. I salute to her and everybody struggling.
Thank you for your love and support
My older sister had Schizophrenia
Its such a terrible disease
I miss her 😢
So much love to your grieving heart
She’s so pretty and soft spoken and empathetic. And also sad. I grew up with sick people but psychopathic rather than this. I have a sister named Jessica and I hate that name because of her. Hell i hate my own name and my brothers name and my mothers name too. I hope one day I can find the kind of love and acceptance she is able to show. And what’s the name of your documentary, Jessica?
Cracked!
What’s the name of the documentary? Why so you can hate that name too?
The documentary is named "Cracked". And probably she wants to know the name to watch it and see how Jessica find a way to overcome the trauma with her father and to find a way for healing regarding her sister, mother and siblings. @@izzydeadyet7336
It takes a lot of self reflection to know this about yourself and courage to share it with us. This tells me you are already on the path to finding more love and acceptance. For me, it started with me working on loving and accepting myself first. One little step at a time - maybe changing a negative thought I kept repeating, speaking up for what I wanted (I started in places like a coffee shop which felt less threatening), and more. Wishing you more strength for your healing and growth!!! (The film is called Cracked and will be on my RUclips channel on 11/11!!!)
Thank you so much for sharing . And giving me a new perspective. I hope the people that see your documentary can see the homeless with more loving eyes.
Thank you .
THANK YOU!!!
My heart goes out to anyone that has these issues of dealing with or having p.s. ...
Love to all .
💯
Thanks Bradley!
What an insightful and compassionate woman. I love that she realized that she had to change the way she was perceiving him from a place of fear or thinking he is just crazy to actually listening. I also love the idea that maybe there’s more to it and that he has super powers. I grew up with, a psychotic mother. At the time it was called manic depression, and now it is called bipolar one and it was scary. But she was special and incredibly creative and just saw things differently. Thank you so much for doing this interview.
I love how you see your mother too!!!
This women is an epitome of grace 🤍 God bless her soul
You have touched my heart. Thank you.
Well, Mark, this is one of your finest! Jessica is a fascinatingly beautiful young woman...so poised. It's such a tragedy that she had to constantly be looking over her shoulder from such a young age. Children deserve to feel safe. I wish her nothing but the best, and I learned something from her. I will try to watch her documentary, "Cracked."
I'm not a mental health care professional; so, I have to limit my exposure to this subject matter. If I don't, it overwhelms me-I internalize too much. That said, I truly miss Rebecca, but I totally get why you had to walk away Mark. Be well!
I am so touched by your words. Thank you!!!
Mmmmm, I had a schizophrenic father too. My sister was his major target of abuse; physical, mental, and sexual abuse. He left me and my brother alone. I felt very ambivalent about him and rarely saw him and I'm thankful for that.
Thank you for sharing your story and wishing you an abundance of miracles and blessings!!!
What a lovely, honest and intentional human. Thanks for sharing you & your dad’s story. Also thank you for looking at people in their eyes no matter where they are in their life. I believe that truly matters. Keep sharing your story and your love! We need more humans like you in the world
Amen
Thank you for your encouragement and support!!!
Accepting people where they are and not where you want them to be is huge. It helped me tremendously in spending time with my moms husband who had alz while she took a break. I kept saying to myself...accept and enjoy him how he is right here and right now. When we went for walks he would pick up any little bitty colorful thing he found interesting. When we got back, we would sit by the pool and he would show me his treasures. So proud.
I needed a tissue after reading this. So true. ❤
How touching Janet. Thank you for sharing.
Thanks @soft white underbelly for the engrossing expressive content- I have a sister 1 and half year in age of myself that suffers from mental health/substance and other health conditions
Sending huge LOVE to you both as you continue to navigate what is the best path for you and her.
My older cousins have Schizophrenia, one has Schizoeffective Disorder (formerly Paranoid Schizophrenia). Watching the way society neglects people who are like older siblings to me was almost as hard as watching their symptoms.
I often get asked what others can do to make it better / help and feel like you may have some good ideas for people???
@@jessicazemple Yes, people should do what they can to provide their loved one with a safe environment that is as stress free as possible (try to avoid arguments), get informed, don't stigmatize mental illness (phrases like "crazy" or "psycho" can hurt some mentally ill folks, don't infantalize or condescend to them-these are still adults after all.
schizoaffective disorder is not paranoid schizophrenia. it’s a combination of schizophrenia and bipolar or depression. meanwhile, paranoid schizophrenia is under the umbrella of schizophrenia, with no other diagnostic subtypes.
U are NOT alone ❤
This means everything. Thank you Kim.💜
My mother had the same thing. I cared her from the age of 7, which made me very mature young, but I dont blame her when she was doing good she was the best mum. I can relate a lot to this
Are you from the UK ?
Same, my mom is bipolar and yet I can’t help but admire her for being there for me even when she was manic or didn’t get up for work or just didn’t eat and stared at the road from the walkway and I knew she was contemplating suicide… it’s hard to know your mom is very sick but at the same time the healing capacity of her love for us never ceased to amaze me.
@@Firebird-dd3byWhen ever you see the word mom spelled mum,you can assume it's wrote or said by someone from the UK.
@@kitacorrentin What a beautiful soul you are to see through the behaviors and know her love and express yours!!!
What a beautiful way to relate to your mum!!!
Jessica speaks with such grace and compassion. This was an amazing nourishing interview. I’m proud of both of you. This is the result of when two people doing their best here on planet 🌎 come together to give us such impactful moments of reflection and feeling seen. Thank you both.
Well said. 1❤
Thank you for your love and support!
Jessica has carried a lot on her shoulders for years. She gave up so much of her life to this mental disorder to help her dad, fear him and give up having children. Even though we love these people, when things change, it does take the burden away, even death. I admire you Jessica❤❤
Thank you for seeing me beyond just the words I shared.
I’ve wondered if my brother was in another dimension and we just don’t understand. Can’t wait for your documentary!
I love that you have been curious in the same way as me!!!
My little brother had paranoid schizophrenia but he wouldn’t seek treatment because he feared he would lose to much ( his job, his concealed weapons permit etc) sadly he took his own life instead. He was such a loving man and I miss him so much. Thank you for sharing your story and for sharing with the world that these are people who are truly loved by their families. I wish people understood that mental illness doesn’t make someone a bad person, it simply means that they are ill just like someone who has epilepsy or MS… obviously not the same type of illnesses but you get the picture.
I am so sorry to hear you lost your brother. And, I couldn't agree more with you about the diagnosis. I hope that we get a place in our world where mental illness is like any other illness as the judgments really impact the ability to heal.
I love your perspective. I love how you were able to identify the difference between curiosity and danger. This is something that I’ve dealt with my entire life and there’s not a lot of people in this world who have an open heart and an open mind that are willing to meet individuals where they’re at emotionally mentally and have a capacity to accept them as they are.
It sounds like we could have a meaningful conversation on this. I so appreciate your reflections!
Beautiful, courageous and intelligent woman. It's a great pity that 'life's stories and experiences such as Jessica's, are not part of the teachings of chool curricula, from a young teen age. There are many highly experienced professionals on YT who share their knowledge of people's/societies' 'mental disorders' and psychological traumas [how to spot/recognise them and tools with which one can navigate, understand and push back, in order to maintain one's 'sense of worth' and survive this increasingly dystopian world]. This is the kind of stuff it takes a lifetime to understand, if at all.
Thank you for your kind words and your wisdom. It really is a lifetime of learning and growth for all of us...
We need more genuinely kindhearted souls like this in the world!
Sounds like you are one of them!!! Keep spreading your love 💜
Coming from a fellow Daughter of a Schizophrenic Man: Thank you Jessica for sharing your story and thank you Mark for giving her the platform to do so. The similarities between our stories are uncanny. It’s been so easy to feel alone in my experience and to forget that there are others who are facing similar challenges. Reading the comments section here also is providing so much healing, support, and perspective. My life flashed before my eyes as I was listening to your story, Jessica. Thank you so much for being so open and vulnerable. I needed to hear this.
Dear Paige, I acknowledge your journey and see you too. Thank you for sharing so I can see you and it inspires me to keep going!!! Thank you.
Also, she to me seems to be a lot like you in her compassion and consideration to share the real people and not just the symptoms or outward appearance of people struggling with different conditions!
That is the highest compliment. Thank you!
Best wishes and strength Jessica.....you are amazing thank you for sharing your story
I so appreciate your words of encouragement. Thank you.
Schizophrenia is so difficult to treat as a mental health worker. I know from experience. I know that it is genetic, and that it mainly is passed down to the men in the family. If he was the father of your brother, your brother has a 50% of having it as well. It also manifest more in men then it does women, and, it usually manifests at around the age of 20 ish. This disease wreaks havoc on families and the individual, and many times they will usually wind up in jail because of their behavior, which is detrimental to them because they don't get the help that they need. It's sad that our country doesn't provide enough help for people with mental disabilities, because it is surely needed. Thank you so much for telling your story. I hope that this information can help people out.
Thank you for all you are doing to help our world!!!
When Mark asked what people were lacking, my brain lit up, and she said self-worth, my exact thoughts. That is almost every person on this channel
YES!!! How can we teach self worth better in our world?!?! I know Mark talked about parenting and role models. I'd love your ideas too.
I can relate a lot to this in many ways. My dad was also schizophrenic, but his inability to have mental peace manifested in extreme anger and a lot of violence. I grew up in very unconventional situation and developed in a very unhealthy way. I was also lonely in life and was judged heavily. I relate so many levels with this. There is just too much to unpack. I feel for you and emphathize
I see you Jeffrey - and, it sounds like you are on a healing path just in the awareness of what you are sharing. Wishing you peace in your heart!!!
Having to eat a meal under those conditions. I can relate. That is the hardest
If you know, you know! And, how sweet that he took the time to make me something so special. It always tore my heart apart knowing the love the food was made with and the other side of it.
Jessica, you are a beautiful & joyful soul! I'm glad you were able to meet your Dad anew. Looking forward to your documentary!💜
Thank you for your kind words Holly - and, I agree with you about about the gift of seeing my dad in a whole new way being the best blessing.
I am the only son of a (now passed) schizophrenic mum. Our stories are quite similar except the threat of violence, not to say there was non. (It seems men with the disease are more violent while women are not so much, they are different). My father jumped ship when I was young and the rest of the, so called, “family” just never seemed to be around. I spent years as a child carer for my mum with little to no help.
My mum passed just over 21 years ago now but the baggage I still carry to an extent. It still influences much of my character.
Much of what you said could have come from my own words. One thing in particular rings true is learning how to read a room and never knowing what you would get when you walked in the front door. I would know instantly when opening the door and looking in what was going on. lol, also the stories told as truth. I had to admit to myself after much soul searching that much of my family history, heritage and childhood pre memory I have to take with a punch of salt as I cannot tell what is true or not. We rely on our history to know how we got to the place we now stand. If that history is false or confused it makes for a rocky foundation.
it’s strange to hear someone say these things from similar experiences with an understanding.
I say this with all due respect to Mark and those watching and I no way want to belittle anyone’s life experiences unless you have lived in the shadow of this horrendous disease you cannot understand really. Only support and as Jessica said do not apply your own expectations on the person with the disease or those who grew up under it.
Thank you for this video.
I so appreciate you taking the time to share so openly and honestly. It sounds like we could talk for days about our experiences. I see you and honor you for all that you are 💜
@@jessicazemple thanks for the reply. Open honest conversation is really needed to make people aware of the disease and how it affects those with it and those around them. Although that said I rarely discuss it myself. Your video prompted it in all honesty. 😀 keep up the good work!
Jessica, just be and don't over analyse your feelings you are allowed to feel whatever you feel. Everyone is flawed, some more than others this life is hard and beautiful but you loving your dad is all he needed.
Well said Charlie miller.
Soooo beautifully said Charlie. Thank you for your wisdom.
Wow Jess this is amazing! I can not imagine how hard it is for you to share your story. You are truly inspiring in so many ways. Not only is it incredibly hard to share and heal from your own trauma but your willingness to share and help others is remarkable.
Thank you for your kind words!!! You are a gem of a human 💜
i work at a homeless recovery shelter and we get a lot of people with schizophrenia, i’m learning to put the puzzle pieces of their words together, another key is to just smile and nod. i can’t stand those who give nasty looks and side eyes
I so love that you are the one helping these souls with your big heart!!! Keep spreading your love and modeling what love is.
@@jessicazemple i think it makes me happier than it makes them haha
The more ways to bring awareness to this disorder and it's effects on others, the better! I can't wait to see her documentary 🎉😊❤ Ten to twenty years ago, it wasn't understood at all, especially by society. I knew many ppl who suffered from it and were sadly very misunderstood
Thanks for the encouragement and support Cary!
I had an older half brother who had debilitating bipolar disorder coupled with severe alcoholism, chain-smoking, narcissism, etc. He was 10 years my senior and the only child of my mother's first marriage. My father and I joined my mother in making numerous attempts at being present in his life and to be understanding of his various issues, but time proved only too quickly that it was impossible to find a pathway to do so. He committed suicide in 2019 at the age of 54 after two failed marriages, estranging himself from all immediate family members, and spending the majority of his life sitting in a room, drinking, smoking, and believing that he was a sane person in an insane world. I was unable to be a part of his life as a result of his mental illness, coupled with an overlying lack of commonality between us on every level. I am very sorry about his death and even more so about my mother's pain, but my memories of my half brother are almost entirely negative. He was and still remains a reminder of something that I could never (and will never) have: a sibling.
Dear Ryan, it sounds so hard what you all went through with your half brother. Thank you for sharing. I acknowledge you for all the things you tried and the compassion you have your mother's pain now. Keep being your bright light for her and the world!
@@jessicazemple Jessica, I am honored by your reply! Thank you so much for your kind words, and even more so for having the courage to do all that you are doing!! ❤
I'm very sorry Jessica...although no Schizophrenia on my dad's side his brother's and sisters all had some type of mental illness. Much respect for how strong you are!!! I was a Special Education Teacher for 11 years and can sympathize from that standpoint... ❤
Thank you for your kind words and the impact you made as a Special Education Teacher.
Love this interview so much
I am touched that it touched you. Thank you!
It does make you wonder if he really did have a superpower 33:01. He had you. That was surely a blessing. I really enjoyed this interview. Thanks to you both.
Your comment made me tear up. You sure touched my heart. Thank you.
Jessica, your life story is arresting. Thank you for sharing your story.
Thank you for the privilege of your time to watch it and sharing your heartfelt comments.
Bipolar 1 with psychosis here with schizophrenia and suicide in the family. I also have chosen not to have children. Thank you for acknowledging that psychotic “illnesses” can also be a select blessing when accepted socially. Most of my own suffering comes from trying to be “normal” and “failing”. Many great artists and visionaries experience psychosis.
I so appreciate you sharing and see your awareness around your own suffering. Wishing you the courage to be YOU!!! (even in a world that doesn't always accept differences)
As a daughter of a schizophrenic father, I totally relate to her mixed feelings about his illness. Thank our Lord and Savior that my dad is medicated and doing well! But it is very scary in the moment when he’s in a psychosis state. I’m grateful that never any abuse happened, he just acted very strangely. Im grateful for the doctors who have helped my dad get better. Thank you for sharing your story! It’s so nice to hear from someone who also has a schizophrenic father. Makes me feel less alone and strange.
I am so happy to hear that he had great doctors!!! I also appreciate you sharing that this makes you feel less alone. It was a big part of why I am sharing publicly. I felt so alone for years and I didn't want others to feel that way too. I see you. 💜
This is as much a beautiful story of how we can love the unlovable than it is about living with someone with schizophrenia. Thank you. 🙏💛
Thank you your sweet words! You must be extra sweet from all the donuts 😉
@@jessicazemple I'm sure my neighbour has schizophrenia and she relapsed into some sort of psychosis about three months ago. It's been quite an horrific experience (we live in an attached unit and share a wall with her unit). She had this maniacal laugh that sounded like she was possessed and she would be awake all night screaming about all sorts of strange things, she was really vindictive and I was a target for her. She finally got sectioned and taken away a few days ago, but for my own sanity (which I was slowly losing) I wanted to find out more about the disorder. I think that's the path to compassion - through understanding. Watching your story, I can relate to many of the things you went through, like wishing she would just die. I feel ashamed that I thought that way but I think compassion and forgiveness for oneself is also important. I'm so grateful that I found your interview at exactly the right time I needed it. 🙏💛
My dad was a bad paranoid schizophrenic. My poor mother lived with it for 20 plus years. He was in the house until I left home at 18 years. He was terrifying. We escaped him many times by hiding in locked rooms or crawling on our hands and knees to the road to meet a taxi away. But he tried so hard and in post electro therapy he provided for us well. But spent many, many months in high security mental homes. He had bullet holes in his car drivers seat door from police trying to stop his erratic driving. But I
have no resentful feelings. I believe this is a demonic problem. Very sad for him and those who deal with it.
I just commented on someone else’s post about this. I spent years dealing with serious OCD and other paranoia issues. I was always anti religion and considered myself atheist. Just this past year I decided to start listening to the audio bible, ya know give the Bible a listen without a church or influence around me and almost like a miracle just listening has calmed my mind so much. When you give in to it and allow your brain to realize we are not in control. It’s so tiring trying to manipulate and control everything even for good. I am in no way pushing Jesus or the Bible on people. I just want to share how much it’s helped me. I spent my entire life paycheck to paycheck and renting dumps. I just bought a home and settlement is early August.
demonic?
@@2vcrew782GOD IS GOOD! PRAISE GOD THANK YOU JESUS FOR EVERYTHING YOU’RE DOING FOR THIS PERSON, AMEN
@@waitz001 I definitely think so. Their eyes change and often there is a complete personality change. There is a psychologist/psychiatrist Jerry Mazinsky that had a lot of experience with them in the prison system that has a lot of interesting stuff to say. He is interviewed on youtube.
@@user-pr8ib1sh8v demons is a word used for that which you cannot explain nor understand. just accept that you don't know EVERYTHING.
My daughter is Schizophrenic. It is the hardest thing, but I’m learning to be ok with the ups and downs and love her anyway. Definitely not easy and I appreciate you sharing your story, every one counts!
I acknowledge you for all you have been through and will go through. Please remember the sparkly soul she is beyond any of the behaviors that may be hard to understand. I found when I deleted the need to understand, it helped soooo much! Many blessings to you!
@@jessicazemple Great advice that I will try to keep in mind at all times ✌️❤️
I think Mark just met his next wife.
They would be a beautiful couple 😊
❤yes!! I was just thinking the same 😊
Aaa 😁😁 Mark, have u seen this comment?? 😁😁
He likes them a lot younger and more damaged haven't you seen the way he talks to Asriah?
Good lord it’s an interview why would you say that?
I want to hug her. Her pain is reaching out to me through the phone screen. ❤️ Her story is so beautiful and painful.
Your hug is received! Thank you.
I'm bipolar. I've made many of the same life decisions as her. With medication I'm almost normal. It's the almost that keeps me on the outside looking in.
Thank you for sharing your experience Matthew. How I wish I could understand what it is like more deeply so your sharing helps me in seeing you more fully which I feel is one the greatest gifts we can give to someone. Thank you.
Thank you Jessica for sharing your story. You are a light in the darkness. Compassion and Love heal✨️❤️✨️ Have a blessed Sunday everyone ✨️❤️✨️🙏🏾✨️
Thank you for your kind words
This lady is like a perfect match for mark. God bless these 2.
exactly what i was thinking
One of the most interesting interviews on this channel.
WOW! Mark has done such great work that this really makes me heart explode. Thank you.
Her mother did not have the right to absolve herself of the responsibility that came with HER CHOICE of having children with this man. She didn’t have the right to go off into the sunset with a new husband and leave it up to her children to figure it out. I won’t make or accept any excuses for that. If the mom couldn’t deal or handle it, how could the kids?
Please forgive me for giving you an impression that my mom was anything but spectacular. It is hard in an interview with limited time and things just flowing out naturally. She is truly an angel and I wish you could meet her. She exemplifies love and was there for me if ever I asked. She even sat with me while he was in hospice which to me is unreal.
Some of the choice was me not wanting to harm her anymore too thinking she had been through enough with this man (this is a pattern of mine I am working on - not wanting to burden others because I see now that I could have asked for a lot more help and tried to do so much of this healing on my own). She has sacrificed so much of her life to help me move from survival mode to thriving including therapy, education, and more.
What I love about what you are saying is what a HUGE heart you have and how much responsibility you take in life. I WISH you could be teaching so many in our world that because it could change so much.
THANK YOU for being an advocate and loving voice in our world!!!
I love this! I'm mother to 33 yr old son who has been dealing with HORRIBLE mental illness since he was 16yrs old
It IS a L O N G VERY CHALLENGING journey.
I imagine some days are easier than others and encourage you to keep going!!!
Mark have you thought about interviewing your dad? It'd be really cool to see his story
I have never heard him mention his father.