6 Smears (And How To Clean Them Up)
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- Опубликовано: 21 окт 2024
- Smearing is a common way the narcissist behaves towards the victim. Here are six common types of smears performed against you, how they manifest and effective information how to deal with smears.
Smeared gum.co/JoRZX
Smear Campaigns gum.co/nlomo
I'm just reminded of something my mother loved to say:
" The only way to win with the devil is to get out of his playground. "
Yes yes so true.... once I actually knew without doubt I couldn’t get out quick enough.... and he knew it....
Quietly 😉
100% true - a very good quote. 😘
The same of one of my favourites: the only way to win is not to play.
That is wisdom in a nutshell, I will have it tattooed (virtually) on my arm so that I can look at it whenever needed!
"When a toxic abuser cannot control you anymore, they will attempt to control how others see and treat you..." - Anonymous.
💥🎯
Ok sure, but what’s the point? Smearing your name is not going to help him or her regain control over you.
Very well put! When they realize they can’t control us, they know they can control how others think of us. This just gets more and more evil all the time!
@@emptytank7139 The point is, your own friends believe your torturer, which is so much worse than losing this jerk. I still suffer from losing THEM not him so much
@@janelleespinosa6247 it’s devastating
Always remember: narcissist accusations are confessions.
Very Well Said!
Not always - I've à neighbour like that who not being satisfied with the smear around the neighbours , deçided to spread the word via one of two dating sites - this narc neighbour would have been better employed as a sex worker .
Interesting. My ex narc told her dad and our pastor that I sexually assaulted her. I was like, ok, when and why didn't you call the police? I talked to both of them after and neither one of them believed it. Funny how that worked out.
I had some of my ex narc’s flying monkeys apologize to me years later. They said they were sorry for getting involved In a situation they new nothing about. They also told me they watched me keep my mouth shut through the years (while he was still playing the victim) hold my head up and continue to be the best mother to my children I could be. God will deal with him. I know the truth. I lived it.
Thank you for this. I am just new to this.. this is right where I am at. I hope I keep my head up high and the crying stops soon.
@@MP-cm2nt Are you staying because you want to or believe you have to. Narcs do damage to their children's psyche.
Good for you
I wish u energy - it will get better! Keep going. Cry as much as u have too and look how strong u are to leave! I am proud of all who left!
Mine ended up taking the children off me I had a complete breakdown awful I didn’t know what one was until somebody told me about that
Step #2 was the main reason I decided it was not worth addressing the smear campaign... those who were taken in by the smear campaign really weren’t my friends in the first place. They were always loyal to him. I know the truth and didn’t have to prove shit to anyone 🤷🏻♀️
There is a Chinese saying that 'a clean hand needs no washing'.
That’s what really hurts more than anything: their family, friends, Godchildren, co-workers that became our life for 40 years. All deleted by narc by push of a button.
amen
Smears , flying monkeys ......ignore ! stand in your truth that's all that matters. Those who know you know you. No reaction , no response 😉 NOTHING 🦋💜
💯👏👏👏👏👏👏
I'm currently going noooo contact which seems to infuriate them even more....still im silent 🤫
2 narcs teamed up against me in the smear campaign so I guess it was more believable.
3 reasons I told myself to ignore and walk away were 1. My reputation should have preceded me. 2. The narcs know it's not true so deep down they are not happy. 3. Told myself God will vindicate me, well He hasn't vindicated me in almost 2 years but He has given me peace. I am out of the matrix and drowning in the kind of silence they can't break.
I had my parents and my husband join up behind my back and try and push me over the edge. I had to go no contact with them all. They have turned everyone against me with the exception of maybe a couple of people.
@@fionam3735 Be thankful for those couple of people. Some of us have none and we have to live life with everyone watching the abuse but no one caring.
Ntombifuthi Yika Hey here's some good news! Sometimes God takes 20yrs to vindicate us in our own eyes, sometimes we don't experience the vindication at all, sometimes He lets us know about it. But we have the peace when we leave it in His hands, telling Him it'll be nice to know when vindication happens but if not then that's okay, that we still trust Him in the matter.
@@educationalbrowsing8913 Sounds like you're in a toxic environment and need to go no contact with the narc AND his enablers and find a new group of people.
Everything you say can and will be used against you. When in NarcVille always plead the 5th.
Resist the urge to kick the hornets nest as you will most likely get stung, repeatedly
HG deserves a RUclips award. I hope you get 100,000 subscribers in a month. You are working really hard on your channel. I can tell that HG is a perfectionist. His channel is like no other.
True. He is a helpful psycho. I think that’s what he calls himself.
@@michaelking4578 LOL a helpful psycho. He has so much knowledge, he can’t shut up. And it’s appreciated! 👏🏼
Agreed
Yep (3:33) 'most' of the smearing is...projection!!
That’s why they can be so convincing ! It’s their own thoughts, actions and motivations they’re speaking about ! Lol .. it took me years to understand that ! I used to say “where did THAT come from!!”
I was so naive (I wish I still was, it was lovely lol)
That's also how paranoia works, and you can see it at work in politics too. Paranoia tends to swing from one end of the political spectrum to the other. At the moment it is on the right. Notice that right wing conspiracy theories make accusations against "liberals" and "the left" and then go and do it themselves. Accusations of misinformation (lying) being the most obvious. The belief that others have already begun the misinformation campaign justifies their actions in "catching up". Conartists are always narcissists.
@@user-sr1kc6jj2b-p1q the left is and has been using this to such a point that we are all beginning to "look up"!
That is why 'woke' has been shown to really mean, mindless followers with their heads up their asses.
This is 100% precisely my husband. Every. Word.
Mine too.
Mine as well , soon to be ex husbend I should say ! 😊
Mine too, they must have came out the same factory!
@@fionam3735 😆😂👍
What's so interesting to me, when I called my husband's mother and very calmly asked why she had stated I was a bad mother, you could literally hear her surprise before she hung up the phone. I don't believe she expected to be confronted. Of course, I knew right then she was guilty as charged. These are such child games. Know thyself and move on.
The smear in which they try to make you look crazy is especially scary. And it's hard to prove a negative, especially about that.
So spot on its both scary an Hillarious because all you say is true an ive experienced it all. You are priceless
God will avenge. Thank you HG, excellent description and breakdown of this injustice.
Interesting to know more information on smearing. I went through this and wasn't sure what had been happening.
same. its not a joyful experience to go through.
🙏
@@isabelaarden7646 💯👏👏👏
You are a genius. Thank you for this video. I went through each and every one of these smearing campaigns years ago. I ended up looking just like the lady in your photo, lost credibility, my son left me, lost all my property, my mother was hurt, my family and friends took his side, had no financial means anymore, etc...... I don't wish this on anyone. Please continue serving our community. Congratulations on all you are presenting and achieving. I appreciate that you are taking this forum to assist us all and give us tools and hope to preserve ourselves from the devastation that only you can explain this well. All is true and right on target. Best wishes. I hope every listener can become aware of the seriousness of what present herein and all your work. Again, thank you. You empower us all. Blessings.
My children's dad would tell anyone who would listen i was cheating on him I'm not a overly sexual person but he would go around telling everyone i was but the life i lead now everyone knows he was telling lies thanks HG
What's funny is that my mother smeared me to our extended family for decades and I didn't know it. All I knew is that every time I reached out to an aunt or an uncle I was met with a cold reception. We lived many states away so the only contact they had by her were phone calls, letters, and cards. Years go by and she moves close to three of them. One day I got a frantic call from an aunt, "Why didn't you tell us she was getting this bad?!"
I was so confused. "But she hasn't changed at all. This is how she's always been."
"No! She's lying! She's cruel and short tempered. She's MEAN! And the manipulation is insane!"
"Yes. That's how she's *always* been. I grew up with this."
(silence)
"I had no idea... This explains so much... I'm so sorry."
@@vociferonheraldofthewinter2284 Yeah, so sorry, so late, damage already done by their cold reception without checking with you about what they'd been told.
I’ve watched and rewatched these series so many times and I’m glad they’re here!
Looking at many of the comments it’s clear that there’s a whole load of folks who’ve been entangled with narcs.
The work of HG Tudor can’t be overstated - he’s literally saved lives. (It seems that everyone says ‘literally’ without knowing its meaning these days).
Not all smear campaigns can be cleared up and as HG states, often it’s not worth bothering. That said, sometimes the smear campaigns can be immediately fatal, or so damaging that serious illness or death of their victim happens over time. (I’m speaking from hard-earned experience).
The information contained in all of HG Tudor’s books and videos is the most accurate I’ve encountered, and it’s not just simply interesting (although it is!) it’s also applicable to real life.
So thanks to you, HG, for your research and work for humanity. 🙏
You’re welcome
@@hgtudor-theultra I'm from Canada. What is your advice? Same here being bullied, mobbed, gaslighting, harassed at the hospital for over 12 years. I've happened to be the top worker for 38 years and have never been suspended. These bullies are jealous and miserable people. Union, manager, HR and the police are all totally useless. Bullies are lazy bums and stupid managers are scared of the bullies. They say about me I'm crazy, I drink, I'm a stalker all bs defamation of character. The biggest mistake since they removed disciplinary measures. They should arrest the bullies and fire the manager. Action speaks louder than nasty words. It destroyed my reputation. I will never quit to make these lazy bums ever win. If I decide to transfer to another hospital and may start gaslighting, smearing and bullying me once again, I don't know all the new managers etc. like in every department like now. So best to not change hospitals. I will never let bullies try to control me from quitting. Just don't react and not try to defend yourself which will only go back and forth making me look even more guilty. Action always speaks louder than words. Just best ignore them and find another easier target. Never let these low life lazy coward bums ever win.
IT'S A LOT EASIER TO CONVINCE SOMEONE YOU'RE CRAZY THAN TO CONVINCE SOMEONE YOU'RE SANE...
"No contact' is just solid advice for many situations. I am not sure if I have run into any narcissists in my inner circle (definitely some I question and some at least have strong narcissistic tendencies), but I have decided upon no contact, or what I have also heard called the path of least resistance (also the term "won't dignify that with a response") and it was the best decision. Every cell in my body knew that was the best course of action and it was. It is hard to find acceptance for who people are. But if you can, you are so much stronger for it. A number of years back Oprah said "when someone shows you who they are, believe them". It stuck with me.
I cut ties with anyone I knew were his people. I never even gave them a chance to get to me. He never liked my friends and they remained my friends.
My ex narcissist boyfriend smeared me to an entire writers group ! They devalued me completely in a meeting. Where they kept me only as an alternate (out of pity ) I imagine he told them “ well you put her on the board and you’d better give her a crumb or I will suffer her wrath “ The new female president which my narcissist supported attacked me worse than an attorney in court . She sounded like a broken record. “ what do you bring to this board Rebecca? “ she repeated it over and over and every answer I gave she immediately shot a hole in . Saying you can do that and not have to be on the board . I told the narcissist I was being attacked unfairly. He replied “ I can’t help it that she has a thing a for me “ he smeared and smeared . And my doctor called me on an early December and said you need to leave him or suffer being locked up in the crazy house .
OMG I JUST LISTENED TO THIS VIDEO, every single smear has been done to me all of them as he has said it, you are spot on.
This is what targetted individuals go through.
Thank you HG.
My former boss texted me and told me to stop spreading rumours about her and threatened to spread gossip about my family and I if I didnt comply.
???
I did not reply.
Had I not been listening to your videos for the past year and educating myself about Narc behaviour I would have responded differently.
I decided to review your videos about smearing and it has helped strengthen my resolve.
I will continue to watch and rewatch your videos to remain vigilant.
Smeared as a child starting in elementary school by my aunt. Didn’t find out what was happening until after graduating high school when a retired secretary told my grandmother that the aunt would find out where I was going to school, join the PTA and cry that I was a racist who wouldn’t play with her brown children. Meanwhile, she was living across the street from me and I played with her children everyday. Entire schools would turn on me and I didn’t understand. Then, the biggest attempt to hurt me was trying to deny me my cap and gown so that I couldn’t walk across the stage to graduate. Somehow she had convinced those in charge to withhold it for bogus reasons. Luckily, my BFF’s mother was a sub there and interceded on my behalf and got them for me. I don’t know why I became her target. Jealousy? But she tried to destroy a child for years. Her name was Camille Massey. Rest in pieces.
Sooo true!! While the smearing was crazy-making to endure, your description is hilariously relatable during GOSO. Thank you HG.
This is a genuine seam of gold. Each type of smear described was on a singular bingo card I wish I had possession of at the critical discard . Listening to this piece, I feel that I have found this card, dog eared, tattered underneath my sofa. If only I were in possession of this card during the discard, I would have be shouting BINGO at the top of my voice and claimed back my dignity and independence.
I wish I could like this video a million times over ❤️🙏🏻 thank you HG
I suffered all of them and worse. Horrible being married to a narcissist.
Completely on track, an exact rendition of what I lived thru. Gosh its eye opening!
🙏
My brothers psychotic wife has smeared me to nothing to anyone and whoever. And off course he's too stupid and weak to confront his witch of a wife about it. She simply hates me cause I'm everything she will never be, positive, classy and very loving. I refuse to play her game and so she just smears me to make it seem like a monster. I really hate her😔
Me as well exactly the same and the school acted on it by saying I wasn’t meantaly well screamed. how’s your mental health Centre for mental health check they destroyed my business everything expose the lied lied lied even lied on the family courts of contact the relevant people but they still lying and now it started up again I don’t go out
My best friend ran off with my husband,and I still miss her. Lol!
🤣🤣🤣
Same & Vice versa
She wasn’t your friend at all....you got rid of two for the price of one. Smile!
I hope she reads your comment. You should send her a message and tell her you love her. She will hate that because narcissists hate love.
Amazing, the garbage took itself out.
"You need to seek professional help"
When I actually thought about it... My conclusion was that a Doctor will actually think that I am CRazZzZY... Crazy indeed, by the narcissist that drove me there.
I sincerely appreciate all your opinions, your hard work and advice. I need a wig & a one way ticket far, far, far away from here. That or simply chain an anchor to my ankle and accidentally bump me off the charter boat.
We are all sinners in God's eyes Empaths included HG doing this in some way denies his nature that in my opinion could get the favor of God. God Bless You HG keep doing this great work.
HG, please, please answer my question. How do all narcissist think alike? Was there a book in the library detailing steps to torture another human being? Kidding about the book, but HOW does a narcissistic brain automatically know these things? I am a survivor of pure emotional torture and honestly....I'm surprised I didn't just END my life. Please reply. Thank you, for sharing such the fabulous insight on this topic.
See the video "Why Do Narcissist´s Operate From The Same Book"
@@hgtudor-theultra Thank you so much!!!! 😀
They are all run by the damn devil 👿
Don't ask WHY. It just IS.
Projection is how I know that a narcissist knows exactly what they're doing.
Wrong.
@@hgtudor-theultra they don't recognize their own behavior to be able to so easily describe it and project it on to another? It's not like dementia or Alzheimer's. They want their prey defending themselves against a false accusation. It's a deflection from themselves. My view is once you start defending yourself against a false accusation you're done. if a narcissist does not know what they are ever doing, they have no free will.
💯💯💯
@@lydiamalone1859 Yes, they don't recognize their own behaviours because those get rewritten in their memory or rationalized away. When they accuse others, they seem to truly believe that their accusations are founded or they simply lie. But even when they lie, they believe that the people they are lying about would be able to do those things anyway. It is all quite subconscious. This combined with a general lack of self-awareness and a lack of understanding of people makes them able to justify their BS in their minds about themselves and others easily.
@@namelessbrat7197 wrong,in my case at least..mine knows exactly what he's doing for a long time,smeared me in making stories up or out of context,one perpetrator,2 story lines-1 for me,1 for the outside..he is sabotaging and character assassinating-but only behind my back. Id love to have a stand off with him and his friends,family,professionals and whoever else he worked up against me-i would destroy all of them easy enough. That's why the backstabbing smearing and alibi crap..im right here and not going anywhere..sadness gone,tears dried,realization kicked in,proud that I made it out-i will take my turn soon enough..lies will run sprints-but the truth will run marathons..
Very helpful. Thank you. Have endured horrible smearing.
Great voice, by the way.
HG, what about smearing to authorities, with fabrication of evidence as a punishment to me for majorly exposing him? Do you have any material on that please?
P.S. I think fury was ignited & he gave me a hint as a threat. But I don’t know what to expect and to prepare myself. Thank you
Laura Duncea Any chance you can record conversations...
This is so spot on 😓
Thankyou you have saved this truthseeker’s sanity! Fortunately I’m only a secondary or tertiary contact, but I have threatened control (as step mother), I couldn’t understand why I was so hated, when all I did was act with honesty and integrity and best interests at heart. Now I’m do! And now I understand the smears, I am full blown no contact, bu well prepared for a Hoover of my husband. No contact wins!
This happened to me a few years ago with some folks that I had met in an online game. I have no idea who these people are in real life, so my question is this, why would they even bother smearing my name to begin with? PS I am also being stalked, why?
New to channel, just subscribed.
HG, thank you for helping me understand me
Great tips & advice. Thank you.
You are welcome.
He would lie a d tell people istalk him when he stalk me
My narcissist ex husband is so narcissistic he still after 2+ yrs divorced says I was 100% responsible for the divorce. Accepts not even 1% responsibility. I never cheated, I am a professional, great body, loved him like crazy. Twisted myself into a pretzel to please him. But nope it was all my fault.
Ditto
...still trying to get me back while blaming me for everything
This is me. I am here now. All of this. I loved him like crazy. Loyal. Attractive and well paying professional. When is the pain going to slow.. the betrayal is so painful.
Looking through the comments from years ago, I hope your lives are back on course and you’re doing better than before.
Yes - The old smear campaign … smh. Happened to me back in 2016 when I was describing Narcissism without even realizing it back then🤔‼️
Thankyou. This is very helpful to me now. I've been dragged back into family after being nc with nm. I'm a scapegoat but got my courage back to be there for my sister. My nm went to hospital and i will protect my sister and can help handle the business stuff. My other sister who is a narc and golden child called my daughter to upset her. I will be as low contact as possible and am used to being smeared.
This is really what happened to me but I’m just at a place where I don’t need anybody for emotional support, because I HAVE GOD, and good friends/family that actually care and listen!
I’m a political figure in my city and my ex girlfriend is a fairly obvious narcissist and gives public speeches on women’s issues and tells her story about her horrible physical abuse by her ex, I totally believe he did abuse her and I totally think she intentionally tried to make him physically abuse her but he wasn’t sophisticated enough in his reasoning to not take the bait, and it provided fame for her victim hood and woman strength. After I broke up with her she started getting very vague about the timeline and person who abused her and naturally people assumed I was the one wielding the brute force of physical violence and it made for some awkward damage control on my part. Luckily the woman I met just after knew the former woman for what she was and deftly ensnared me in her narcissistic clutches. I can only imagine the smearing being perpetrated against me right now but my no contact is fairly robust and I have no real idea of what may be happening.
Thank you so much for this. He is divorcing me & my own mom doesn’t believe me. It hurts so bad. I told her he is a narc. She told. Me maybe I was. He has projected so much I wonder if it is me some days! But I have recordings. And I know I kept giving allll I had. Kept trying to please him w everything in me. And he didn’t try at all.
J Gal That's disheartening for you; some women - like your mom - seem to make excuses for the guy's behaviour but never the woman's. Recently heard a teaching where example response was to say "That's possible" and just repeat it, don't engage by explaining reasonings as people thinking like your mom don't hear our logic.
Dammit HG. The co parent smear. 😫
Thankyou. The workplace can be full of these behaviours. 🧑💼🎆
I told my ex prior to discard I didn't care what she said about me or to whom. I already knew she had been smearing me the whole relationship
OMG this makes so much sense! That's exactly what my dad did.
You are the best on this topic..
👏👏👏
When it comes to friends understanding my very recent moves to distance myself from two friends who live in the same city as me, I have only confided in one about one friend. I have always felt he is someone who does not want to examine any painful feelings from his past or his present. So while I could not stop my mouth from yapping while he was visiting, I did get what I was expecting which was a lot of genuine but confused sounding questions from him. I quickly wrapped it up and moved on to something else. It often takes me a while to learn but I think it was the first example of realizing what I had been planning all along and that is to just keep my mouth shut and do my own distancing stealthily.
I have faced it all😓
HG, I noticed with my guy, he always had good things to say about his ex’s but they just never worked out. He has painted me in angelic light to our mutual friends and said he was taking too much of my time and he thought it best to set me free😂 I’ve never heard him bad mouth anyone. Not friends, family...in fact, if I was to bad mouth someone he knew or profile them, he would go ballistic even if what I was saying was based on fact. He charms his way out of everything and into everything. Deflecting and shifting blame in the most flattering and gracious manner. I do find people of your kind very interesting. Perhaps somewhat envious. My guy was a bit of a thicko commoner. Polished turd I like to describe it as. But his narcissistic genius is a little bit enviable. You guys would make great hostage negotiators. No bluff too tough!
@Dream Star I hope you find peace in all things.
Can you also do a series on how to read people and act around them? you have insightful comments about how no one likes to be told what to think. it could be a valuable series.
Hey, the vegetable section of my fridge is now stacked with cream cakes, HG are you spying on me?
They can smear your name with people they know places that we go
very true.
I just told her “tell them what you want. Anyone that knows me, and I care about wont believe you, and will tell me. Like 4 people already have. They agree your f’ing crazy. I couldn’t care less about anyone else.” You have to be smiling and chuckle when you say they think your crazy. Anything else is them trying to damage your ego, as theirs is. They cant though. Its called SELF confidence because you control it. When you know it’s not true. It cant make you feel worse about yourself. You have the choice. Anyone that believes them without both sides is not your friend to begin with.
Edit: Lmao. Like he just said
I tell other people about our private matters but do I tell them the truth. The truth will prevail eventually. Thank you H.G 👤
I was the recipient of the nar boy friend last year. He did all of these abuses. I wanted to unlive, because the abuse was so bad. He was living with me in my one bedroom apartment. He paid no bills but he dominated me. It was exactly the HG describes it.
He called her a gold digger, drug addict and insaine. He was all those things
That's so true. Most ppl will react to the smears the same way you would. Everyone has their own problems. The ppl that really notice and act on them are the people you would never be around to begin with. Just ignore and move forward.
But what to do when you've found out years later that a lower mid-range smeared you to the point of making it hard to get a job? How do you fix that?
HG can you make a video what to do if you been smeared to authority and in a result you end up with criminal charges like dv, common assault ect.,please? That’s my case unfortunately.
Yes I have been reported to the police as a stalker..
Checking all boxes
HELP! Before educating myself, I recently lashed out in emotion and smeared him to a few of his associates and anonymously online. Should I reach out to him and apologize and try to reach a state of neutrality before he finds out about this and lashes out with a smear on me? He has some devastating video footage of me.
My ex used to go through the bins and retrieve empty bottles and hide them around the house! Behind the sink, under the sink, in cupboards etc. ''Hidden'' when his mum came over to babysit while I/we were at work! Easy to find, as she had found them!
This is more or less the exact list as I have been smeared by my narcissist ex (a lower mid-ranger). H.G.'s material in the knowledge vault has been like a road map for what to expect and how to deal with it.
tbh this is almost all the info i felt like i wanted to know to feel like i can protecc myself. everything about this made sense. i feel like i finally got most of the closure (more like some sort of idea of it) i knew i was never going to get
thank u sir
Sounds familiar a projection and i move on. Damn you put out a lot of videos in 1 week. Comorbid paranoid personality disorder in my case. Beautiful exponential smearing. I would have liked it if you taught at the school i went to. I know ive been smeared. Ignored by people.
I had his cousins girlfriend as well as some one he considers his "brother" tell me things he has said, they know better, and more importantly my conscience is clear, and have proof he's done it before, I can have some compassion him being bipolar, not being treated
How would u treat a mid range lesser narcissist psychopath mother and escape if their unaware and believe they are right about everything
You can't 'treat' a NPD person. Just leave and go no contact.
George, you need to cut all ties, all apron strings (that's not a slur on you, she's tied you to them) and get the hell out of there. You have to understand though that she'll either turn into a screaming alley cat with her claws out, or into a hard done by woman with the worst pitty plays you ever heard. I'd record yourself leaving, laying keys on the table etc, because these types can say anything when you've gone, including accusations of theft. Once you've gone do not go back, it'll give her more scenarios in which to fabricate more lies. It's hard to do, but as the weeks go by you'll breathe a sigh of relief. Be ready to involve a lawyer if she starts smearing you with illegal acts.
George, 👍 you can do it. I know what you're dealing with, my family is the same. I haven't seen them since 1995 and it's great now. Yes, I still get flashbacks and get angry, but now it's anger at all the unfairness instead of the cognitive dissonance I couldn't fight my way through at the time. Good luck, and move house, change your number and feel self assured you're doing the right thing.
Other channels that deal with narc/Psychopath family is The Royal We and Tyr Ravensohn. Tyr suggests keeping a discreet eye on the enemy, but it's up to you what you do. I just cut them all off as it was just too crazy to explain to other people, including a lawyer.
It happened to me just 2 months ago went no contact and told him we shud break up so there was no contact during that period ..he went to my friend's younger sister which is also my friend said a lot about me disrespected me when he was asked by my friends sis y he wanted to go out with her since we are friends..this caused an argument between my friend and I though she knew everything.. But at the end my friend heard a lot about him from my ex's close friend ..she warned her younger sister to stay away from him ...I wasn't explaining anything anymore.
H.G Tudor has become my methadone
HG: one thing I am wondering about since I kicked out of my life a few years ago my cousin who lives down south and thankfully is not geographically near me, is whether she can be a Narcissist. She was the one who over many decades subjected me to sometimes relentless sarcasm and sometimes it was withering. What happens to me and probably many people who are empaths is that you don’t speak up or you cannot speak up until finally you change and you do and then people DO think it might be YOU who is crazy because for decades you appear to be friendly and close. I think I might be rambling again. The point I wanted to make is that with my cousin, she does seem to have emotional empathy or that is what I want to ask you. About 30 years ago her firstborn son died instantly in a car crash down south. My parents were snowbirding and visiting my mom‘s family and they flew from one island to another to see my cousin for a day since they were due back to Canada. They told me when they got home that my cousin was crying all the time of course when they were there. Since then my cousin has told me more than once that there isn’t a day that goes by that she doesn’t think of her son who died. She has two other sons who are in their 40s and alive and well and she told me it took her a long time after Andrew‘s death to realize she had two other children who were then in their late teens who needed her. That is why I wonder if she is a narcissist or just someone who is an emotional abuser. I am wondering this about my two friends as well. I keep moving toward narcissism but Get confused. Sorry for taking up so much time.
Keep educating yourself and the the truth will come to light.
Money buys professional flying monkeys.
I was abused in my mother’s households all my life. She chose her abusive husband above my sister and me. She told us not to cause her problems. It was bad. I later experienced a nervous breakdown in my 20s because of the trauma I had experienced all my life. I was diagnosed with ptsd. My mother would push buttons and use reactionary abuse so she could just exploit me and the narrative that I was just always crazy so she could exonerate herself. I got away from the whole family, bought a house and got away from her and she came back into my life full of guilt and apologies for how wrong she had been. She still lives with my abuser. They’ve divorced and remarried 5 times. She wants me to go there for Christmas to be in the drama and toxicity she lives in. To be triggered seeing the creep stepfather that she was obsessed with all my young life. No thanks.
Thanks 😊 to you HG I'm happy. Have a blessed day.
When you've stopped caring about the Smear Campaign, take HG:s Narc Detector test to know what you are dealing with. When people, like kindergarten, tell you they've noticed things with the narc - then u can play. I behaved "uncontrolled", made her smear me/pity play towards them - they sided against her more.
Truth Bombs 💣 right here!
Hire a good lawyer and sue them for defamation of character?
If the narcissist knew you had almost 15 years of secret recoding of there evil behaviour would that make them stop when they find out these recoding exist?
It's so true, and hearing this truth makes me feel like I was just kicked in the stomach with a steel-toed boot.
Great job
I’m definitely number one,two- possibly, three, four for 100% I even been told many many times that I’m nutcase!
I def ignored mine cause did not care and was like byeeee ✌✌✌ had a Judge involed but stay safe 🙏🏿🙏🙏🏿🙏🙏🏿thank you
🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼yes court case one won , second to go , police arrest ,
"My partners a nutter" literally lol 😆
Just as you pointed out at the beginning, people who 'tip you off' that you are being smeared are often, best case scenario, enablers, and worst case scenario, haters. Still, it is best to know what people are saying about you behind your back, especially if it's colleagues, because if your relationship with them deteriorates, you may end up losing your job (or not getting a permanent contract, i.e. working your a*** off for 6 months and at the end of it, no job!)
Is it possible to avoid smears by preparing end of relation long time ago and went back step by step? I tried to wait till he discard me/went silent and immediately do not contact him anymore. Will I get the smear campaign anyway?
I have enough evidence but I have no intention to use it "in advance".
The smear campaign is irrational, unfair and pure nastiness. There is no logic to stop the process of revenge.
I haven’t said Jack shit about my narc abuse to only a select few of family and work friends who are well aware of the abuse so endured.
Ty, one thing I credit you for is to tell us about your kind. I did exactly what you said, I walk away..I took all the lies, all the smearing...I didn't engage..it fade so fast...no fuel, I'm no longer a gas station. I win so much, it's funny a year ago, it seems like he was winning 🤣, now a year later, no job, nothing, still lying and cheating on the new supply. I'm so happy I killed myself off in the honor movie.
Yes, mine is saying I am spending lots of money. Meanwhile he sends money to a million letters asking for money. He doesn't know if they are legitimate.
Great stuff thank you hg :)
Pity play is also projection.