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Thank you! Though I am not the first to make that point. In fact, when I wrote that line I was 80% certain that I was paraphrasing someone, but I could not for the life of me find the quotation online. So someone please let me know if they find out if someone else used a similar turn of phrase
"......Does not just corrupt the people around the narcissist but eventually comes back to destroy the narcissist themselves". I witnessed this with my oldest brother who was one of the most horrible human beings I ever knew and was destructive to everyone who loved him or tried to love him. He was definitely a narcissist and did much damage to me, 10 years his junior, growing up and as an adult. He committed suicide in Jan 2001 just past his 55th B-Day.
@@unsolicitedadvice9198 I've been fine about it, thanks for asking. It took awhile but I forgave him and therefore freed myself. He was smart, very handsome, tall, had gorgeous hair, was a babe magnet, and lived on easy street in whatever job he had. I think really attractive people have it much easier in life versus us regular types. He had it all...except his soul. His wickedness turned him into a self-consuming monster, just like Dorian Grey.
@@jeffsmith8197 that's an incorrect statement, while there are upsides to being attractive and downside to being unattractive, a person has many many traits. Intelligence, virtue, physicality, charisma, financial, and all the many possible diseases. a smart person has advantages a dull person doesn't, but the dull person has high resolve. To try to reduce the difficulty of life by a single trait is incorrect
@@TjJd-f8m so would be using terms such as good, evil or wickedness I'd assume... It is very hard to know one's true self without looking through biases. I like to think studies and new conclusions are better than doubt as they are, after all, beacons in the dark, but maybe change has more relevance, hence the resolution to constantly grow as an individual right?
A bit embarrassed to admit that it makes more sense now this is my favorite book. When a young innocent Dorian turns around with his golden curls, his facial expression and the liliac tree, forever imprinted in my memory.
He tried to eliminate the proof of his wickedness, the portrait, to get "peace" and by stabbing the portrait stabbed himself, only remained an unrecognizable carcass, and a portrait of Dorian in all his glory! Or at least that is how I remember the book after many, many years. He was irredeemable to the end, and I believe that is the intention of the author. Cheers
@@unsolicitedadvice9198 *most highly cognitively (clearly not emotionally) intelligent, charming yet coercively rapey chauvinistic or warmongering greedy lusty male narcissists truly & delusionally think + fully believe they're the good guys fighting the bad ones when they're brothers in arms with their deeply ingrained crafty pathological lies + covert malignant more cerebral psychopathically sadistic narcissism masquerading as wonderfully shining yet soulfully dead & sadly glamourized utterly fake enlightenment of older arrogant powerful men...*
I have seen a narcissist at home. I have lived with her for years. One thing I have realised is that they can't improve. Their nature is so deeply ingrained. Their occasional pangs of conscience comes and goes and they are back at their worst.
😂love this one I often wonder that myself they have momentary small parts of conscience and you think this time we might just get some accountability buy no it always falls short they right back to bad bad 😂@marichikat904
Some truly excellent insights here. While I‘ve never read the novel, I‘ve known people like Gray. Their careers and relationships haven‘t been as dramatic as his, but they‘ve been just as troubling…
11:56 "...if you thought only of yourself for ten hours a day you would become a fantastic narcissist." This right here blew my mind. I feel like I'm a vulnerable narcissist always, needing affirmation because I'm constantly thinking about how much I suck.
It’s often said psychopaths are offended when they get called psychopaths, suggesting they do have a conscience, it’s just repressed. Your description of Dorian Gray seems more realistic than the image of a person who simply lacks all emotion
That doesn't inherently suggest a conscience. the word 'psychopath' has negative connotations of being self-centered/violent/etc. they can simply just be insulted at the insinuations of the term rather than feeling guilty for their lack of concern for other people.
It's Narcissism that's suppressed. Psycopaths simultaneously don't have one (shallow emotions and no empathy is what a lack of conscious probably refers to) but they certainly can be pro social for their entire lives and have a very in depth theory of mind. For mimicry purposes, but this is all they have... Like being wheelchair bound from birth in an emotions and empathy way. This means you being like this is perceived as persecutory, and they literally don't understand why... It's very anger inducing to be told you are inherently bad for nothing you can control especially when you receive a lot of rejection, punishment and seemingly endless strife in all aspects of life due to people not attempting to understand you once the charisma wears off in others idealistic image of you 😔
This is a very interesting analysis. I was very interested with Dorian's relationship with Lord Henry. As narcissistic as Dorian is, he seemed so obsessed in impressing Lord Henry and adopting a lifestyle that lived up to Henry's ideals., never realizing that Lord Henry was a windbag.
They love to blame everyone for their troubles except themselves. Yeah i’ve been with few of them. I’m glad to know this book, it also can be use as guide to compass one’s self.
Thank you so much for these videos, for a while I felt like a shell of a person, but slowly I’ve started building myself back up and your videos reignite my interest in philosophy and make me feel happy. Please don’t stop making these if you can help it:)
This is a wonderful analysis of the themes that are central to the novel, and you make it relevant to students who may not be inspired to read. I appreciate your enthusiasm and your development of the theme throughout your talk.
This covers a good deal of those who are currently recognized as needing everyone to capitulate to their delusions. If others don't perpetually uphold this delusion, the subject decries it as hate, or even, "genocide." Don't let those narcissistic types persuade you into thinking you are a bad person for not agreeing to the lies they tell themselves.
Great analysis! I just finished this book. It was so sad in many ways (Basil did NOT deserve his fate), but I loved it. Dorian really is the perfect embodiment of a narcissist, but I wonder if he wasn’t manipulated into his actions from Henry? Of course he made his own path, but given that everyone has narcissistic traits within them, perhaps full blown narcissism is bred via your environment and outside influences. Henry essentially scared him into thinking his beauty and youth was the only thing he had to offer the world. With that, I went from feeling sad for Dorian (I think we’ve all had that existential crisis of one day getting older and losing our looks), but I quickly started to hate him after how he treated Sybil lol.
Reminds me of sentenced song "guilt and regret" where these to feelings are viewed as enemies within. Thank god I am quite humble myself. Easily the humblest person I know.
He wouldn't have started to let other people ahead of him or have done anything kind until he'd dealt with guilt and mourning of the parts of himself he'd been burying bit by bit. I think that he didn't get scared of how hard it is to be nice. He had realized how much of himself he had already lost, and that realisation threw him over the edge. With fear, probably. And despair. And anger.
Your way of explanation, voice and intonations (not to mention the good looks lol) is really attention-gripping. I found this video by searching about the book, but I'd definitely check out your other videos.
I noticed narcisstic mostly have extremely independent / complete anything on his own all alone trait, or super-co-dependent even to a dependent guilt level He would tend to force you into any relationship just to get a really close time with you, and could be 1 day later he acted like completely do not want to get in touch with you, but when he is close to you, he almost begged for friendship/brotherhood/long-knowning company relationship, begging, that what made people hard to leave them But trust me, that is more like super-hyper on drug vs post-drug withdrawal Their brain are fucked, completely fucked, either at super-excited state or at insanely self-petty alone moment, no balance, no in between, put yourself into their shoes that is a terrible mental state for anyone, a uncontrollable high-speed running brain and a dysfunctional bag of garbage, everyday switched between these 2, the most suffering part I would now consider what they did was looking for a thrill, a high, or an excitement, to cover the very-deeply-enormous emptiness inside, the not knowing what other people loneliness, the distance, unconnectable of this own individual while being a narrator witnessing everything without a right/a choice/a will/a freedom to choose out of this fucked brain Not simply only about evil, about a broke down brain, sensitive and easily triggered Long time bitter and hallow
This sounds simply like drug addiction, and that is not just because of the drug metaphors or direct reference. Having highs from both uppers and downers create their own lows. Uppers are classic for the “suicide Monday” as it is sadly colloquially recognized, and downers create a deadness in their own sense, a groggy perseverance when the substance wanes. Many antisocial traits (narcissistic tendencies being one) are due to addiction. Not sure if you’ll see this comment or if anyone else will, but if it happens to be someone you know or even yourself, don’t neglect the idea of substances. Even alcohol can do this to people. Just be mindful
I (accidentally?) read this book when I was around 10 or 11 years old, and I have not given much thought to it since (30 years) until now. I am so grateful for this video and deep analysis, which I can now understand. Thank you!
Superb insights into the nature of the narcissistic game. It's the ultimate short term strategy but suddenly falls apart often with a fury, given enough time.
I have become exactly the horrible Dorian Gray type of narcissist in the past couple of years, and everywhere I go I end up corrupting people in one way or another. It's like I've made a deal with the devil that he makes me believe I'm a superior demi-god while he gets to corrupt people through me. And on one hand I really want to go back to my former self that people actually liked but no-one respected, but on the other hand I still don't want to leave this fantasy bubble that I've created for myself. Because people avoid me like the plague when I'm like this, and I don't want to bring more misery into this world. How do I burst that bubble? I really need advice...
Telling you to "stop" seems like a dumb statement because it's like someone telling you to stop having cancer when you have cancer but in the case of narcissism you are the only anti body that can stop the narcissistic cancer inside of you. You are the one that has to fight against it everyday. If you don't know how, you get a therapist and that therapist will guide you through that fight but you will be the one that is actually fighting that battle.
Dorian Gray is such a fascinating character. Interesting analysis! I've always wondered if he could have been different if he had people praising him for good behavior instead of good looks. I almost see him as being created (to a degree) by the way people treated him. If everyone praises you for your looks and charisma, it makes sense to capitalize on those traits and ignore other ones.
My honest take while reading the book was that Basil was clearly the angel and Harry the devil, felt satisfying to hear you say it as well. Guess it's not a particular difficult thing to realize but as someone who has recently found his passion for reading after avoiding it like the plague for the first half of my life, it was nice on a personal level.
Woah that's a dark book indeed ! Sad to think people like this do exist in this world ( I know this is a metaphorical representation and is exaggerated but still) . On the side note I really enjoyed this video a lot and found it interesting subscribing to you to hope to find more such stories coverage and recommendations !!
@@emmaphilo4049 Well I'm sure there is always someone out there who is worser than we can imagine ( thanks to the news nowadays) but I want to believe that these are just broken people and a exaggeration of reality which takes quite a toll on oneself.
Thank you for the insightful analysis. I look forward to reading all the books you've covered in your videos. It has been incredibly enjoyable to hear your insights into these literary works. ❤
I feel like a narcissist because I do all the good in my life to avoid my better natures chastising me and making me feel like shit for not doing good. I analyze why I do stuff so much and the only reason I can come up with is that I act the way I act so that I can tell myself that I am not a bad person, or so that other people dont think Im a bad person. That, or I am just treating people how I would want to be treated.
I thought like that as well and realised this year that my parents were the ones who were narcissistic 😅😅 they brainwashed me to think I was the bad person - well, that's what narcissists do
Have you read Crime and Punishment by Fyodor Dostoevsky? There is one paragraph within that book that has gripped my consciousness for years. I would love your opinion on the topic. It is in Chapter 5, it goes roughly like this, there are ordinary men and extraordinary men. Ordinary men are bound to the rule of law and should follow the medians moral code. Extraordinary men are a rarity and have the intellect or the power to make great net positive changes in the world. Raskolnikov (the protagonist of sorts) uses this in part to justify his actions of murder. Now I do believe murder to be wrong, yet I also believe that murder is sometimes needed, the greatest example would be WW2, you could not take Hitler down with words. So this has caused me to do a introspective drive into what is right and wrong because I would argue that the biblical commandment of thou shall not murder is not always true. So there are exceptions for morality that are sometimes needed. The conclusion I have come to is this, what makes an action good or bad is not the action itself, it is the time elapsed, time is the judge of morality. Something that is good or bad in the short term might not be good or bad in the long term. Think of touching a hot stove, it hurts you in the short term but in the long term you hopefully learn the lesson to be more aware of touching hot surfaces. The net is positive. Think of smoking, nicotine in the short term is awesome, increased focus and concentration get all that sexy acetylcholine and dopamine in the short term; but in the long term it causes health risks. An action that can, at least antidotally, be positive in the short term turns into a net negative in the long term. I hope I have elaborated my expansion of Dostoevsky's thoughts well, I believe this is a good location to get some genuine conductive criticism. Please tell me your opinion whoever is reading this.
Morality is closely linked to the ego, for there needs to be a perspective to outweigh the good and bad of a given action. Given that needed perspective the only real question is who's judging? Leave it to a hindu to judge, and every living being is exactly as important as the others, but leave it to a monotheistic person to judge, and it'll only be the people that worships their god. And neither of those are wrong, they're frameworks that are righteous within their own perspective. Altruism only works when we know what's true, whilst solipsism doesn't need any guidelines. I think that's the dillema that's been slowly corrupting society
I’m not as articulate or well read as you. However, it just seems to me that we can’t know at the point of our behaviour what the end result will be over time - will it turn out good or evil? Often it will be both. Furthermore, even the concept of good or bad is subjective and can’t be agreed upon by people.
@@TrugoyEveryDayI do agree that a diversity in culture is good. The more ways people and few the world the better. Diversity in culture can come up with different solutions to the same problem which I think the human species needs. Could you elaborate on why you think altruism “works only if we know what’s true”? I don’t think I fully understand what you mean.
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True psychopaths do not feel normal human emotions and are narcissists. They are not punished by their consciences only anger at failing to achieve what they want. So they just carry on hurting people until they are stopped.
Maybe, but it is important to remember that people are not born without consciences, but rather become that way by continuously ignoring and silencing their conscience. That silenced conscience develops into anger and, since one might be refusing to listen to one’s own conscience, thus refusing to address the root of the problem, that pent up frustration becomes anger, and is directed towards all the wrong places. No one is born doomed to be a bad person; just as no one is immune from becoming a bad person. I think this “us, normal people” VS “they, the true psychopaths and narcissists, who can’t even feel normal human emotions!” mindset, is one that can lead one to dangerous roads. Even Dorian Gray started out as a fairly decent person, if I recall correctly… Anyhow, please forgive my rant, or if I misunderstood something you said. I wish you a very good day.
@@housemouse4209I like what you had to say and agree with a more moderate, less divisive approach to these conditions. However, you'd be remiss to not acknowledge physical and biological differences that do in fact change the way a person thinks and behaves. Birth defects and tumors to name a few.
Oh THIS IS SO GOOD! We just finished reading this book for our Virtual Book Club and we hosted our instagram live last night. Thank you for this insight. -T*
Ah thank you! That is very kind. And I am only young (23), but have been coaching people in studying and philosophy in some capacity for a long time now (probably coming up to 5 years, though I don't know exact dates)
This is the best analysis I've heard so far! Thanks! I'll tell you more Basil is not just a good angel on Dorian's shoulder he is his symblic creator (the portrait) he is Jesus Christ killed by his creation. Lord Henry definitely is the devil. Oscar Wilde perfectly described spiritual struggle of every human being as it is represented in the Bible.
All this book really depicts is the inner workings of an insecure person, and how they manifest their delusions of eternal life and eternal is the youth without God. It offers no real hope into the eternal world. It’s a hopeless book, but extremely well written it was a magnificent masterpiece. Saying that it offers no hope to people about eternity.
I read a shortened version of this story as a child in school, but I always thought it was unfair how he gets screwed by the painting. I don't get it, he seemed the victim of the story if anything, like he fell to corruption rather than being intrinsically bad. And the ending felt cheap.
I’m sad to say that this narcissistic behavior at some point ending tragically for a narcissist is just wishful thinking for us normal people. In reality, the bliss, charisma and success of these people continue indefinitely and they do have incredible lives with no regard for the others.
You should not dissolve your Ego Ego can prevent you from being manipulated Though to much Ego can destroy you and the people around you Reality doesn't revolve around you it's everyone's Story 2 people that have a high Ego will have conflict there has to be a balance Nature has a balance and a Rythm Thats wat you should do with your Ego
I have to respectfully disagree with your statement that everyone is a narcissist. True narcissists have no real empathy and a seared conscience. I know. I was married to a covert narc for 25 years. I do see that narcissism is being rewarded and enabled in our society so I would expect to see alot more true narcissists in the future. Our society was different when I was growing up in the 70s and 80s and people were raised differently and held accountable for their actions more often. It's only since that changed that we see real narcissistic personality disorder become more common and socially protected.
@@TheJett1904 You stayed with the narcissist for 25 years. You were attracted to the narcissist. So tell me how it did not benefit the narcissist? You are a contradiction.
@theasuraluis I didn't realize he was a narcissist and as soon as I did, I divorced him. They always start out on their best behavior to ensnare you. You should educate yourself on covert narcissism. They particularly target caring people and they are very convincing liars. He had everyone fooled, not just me. Edit: It certainly did benefit him until it didn't in a big way.
😃 Yes, sir! 😃 🤔I read somewhere that À rebours by Joris-Karl Huysmans was the book that you mentioned in the chapter 2 of your video. It will be great if you could make a video about that novel! 😃
But is dorian responsible when it was lord Henry who corrupted him? I would argue that Dorian is a victim because society treated him a certain way and he responded in kind. Like a child actor almost. When I see child actors develop physiological problems, I think we bear the responsibility for that as a society for putting them in that role
My thoughts are in line with your here. Lord Henry is a bad influence indeed. Dorian Gray was pure like an oasis in the desert according to Basil. The conversation and the capricious friendship have altered Dorian. I admire Basil's sincerity and loyalty. Love this masterpiece wholeheartedly.
Lord Henry corrupted him but only because Dorian gave in to the temptation of his wicked ideals, while being very aware of the "angel" that stood on the other side: Basil Hallward. Nevertheless, he chose his path. In other words, it almost seems to me that you imply that a corrupted man should not be held accountable for his own corruption because "the devil" is the one who lured him into it. Men choose their fate.
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what do you charge and do you know business math as well?
😂 I Dorian 🤦🏻
Was it tho? Ive seen your comments. How annoying is it when you’re trying to connect and all they see is the outside?
Why would anyone want that? To not age? It’s the beauty of life. Why is everyone so obsessed with looks?
"Hedonism is a great philosophy for one evening, but a terrible philosophy for life." Excellent insight good sir, you have gained a subscriber.
Thank you! Though I am not the first to make that point. In fact, when I wrote that line I was 80% certain that I was paraphrasing someone, but I could not for the life of me find the quotation online. So someone please let me know if they find out if someone else used a similar turn of phrase
@@unsolicitedadvice9198 Awesome.
same
"......Does not just corrupt the people around the narcissist but eventually comes back to destroy the narcissist themselves". I witnessed this with my oldest brother who was one of the most horrible human beings I ever knew and was destructive to everyone who loved him or tried to love him. He was definitely a narcissist and did much damage to me, 10 years his junior, growing up and as an adult. He committed suicide in Jan 2001 just past his 55th B-Day.
That sounds very difficult - I hope you are okay
@@unsolicitedadvice9198 I've been fine about it, thanks for asking. It took awhile but I forgave him and therefore freed myself. He was smart, very handsome, tall, had gorgeous hair, was a babe magnet, and lived on easy street in whatever job he had. I think really attractive people have it much easier in life versus us regular types. He had it all...except his soul. His wickedness turned him into a self-consuming monster, just like Dorian Grey.
@@jeffsmith8197 that's an incorrect statement, while there are upsides to being attractive and downside to being unattractive, a person has many many traits. Intelligence, virtue, physicality, charisma, financial, and all the many possible diseases. a smart person has advantages a dull person doesn't, but the dull person has high resolve. To try to reduce the difficulty of life by a single trait is incorrect
@@TjJd-f8m so would be using terms such as good, evil or wickedness I'd assume... It is very hard to know one's true self without looking through biases. I like to think studies and new conclusions are better than doubt as they are, after all, beacons in the dark, but maybe change has more relevance, hence the resolution to constantly grow as an individual right?
@@TjJd-f8m And just who the F are you to say?? Genuine question. 🙄
A bit embarrassed to admit that it makes more sense now this is my favorite book. When a young innocent Dorian turns around with his golden curls, his facial expression and the liliac tree, forever imprinted in my memory.
why are you embarrassed to admitit?
"Thank God I'm not like that," says the narcissist within. "I'm humble, kind, and treat others well."
Oh shoot… why is that so accurate? 🥲☹️
He tried to eliminate the proof of his wickedness, the portrait, to get "peace" and by stabbing the portrait stabbed himself, only remained an unrecognizable carcass, and a portrait of Dorian in all his glory! Or at least that is how I remember the book after many, many years. He was irredeemable to the end, and I believe that is the intention of the author. Cheers
Ah that’s a fair interpretation
@@unsolicitedadvice9198 *most highly cognitively (clearly not emotionally) intelligent, charming yet coercively rapey chauvinistic or warmongering greedy lusty male narcissists truly & delusionally think + fully believe they're the good guys fighting the bad ones when they're brothers in arms with their deeply ingrained crafty pathological lies + covert malignant more cerebral psychopathically sadistic narcissism masquerading as wonderfully shining yet soulfully dead & sadly glamourized utterly fake enlightenment of older arrogant powerful men...*
I have seen a narcissist at home. I have lived with her for years. One thing I have realised is that they can't improve. Their nature is so deeply ingrained. Their occasional pangs of conscience comes and goes and they are back at their worst.
😂love this one I often wonder that myself they have momentary small parts of conscience and you think this time we might just get some accountability buy no it always falls short they right back to bad bad 😂@marichikat904
I'm an English Professor currently teaching this novel. Great analysis.
Some truly excellent insights here. While I‘ve never read the novel, I‘ve known people like Gray. Their careers and relationships haven‘t been as dramatic as his, but they‘ve been just as troubling…
Thank you! I appreciate the kind words
My mom was a covert narcissist. She used me as her portrait.
11:56 "...if you thought only of yourself for ten hours a day you would become a fantastic narcissist." This right here blew my mind. I feel like I'm a vulnerable narcissist always, needing affirmation because I'm constantly thinking about how much I suck.
It’s often said psychopaths are offended when they get called psychopaths, suggesting they do have a conscience, it’s just repressed. Your description of Dorian Gray seems more realistic than the image of a person who simply lacks all emotion
That doesn't inherently suggest a conscience. the word 'psychopath' has negative connotations of being self-centered/violent/etc. they can simply just be insulted at the insinuations of the term rather than feeling guilty for their lack of concern for other people.
It's Narcissism that's suppressed.
Psycopaths simultaneously don't have one (shallow emotions and no empathy is what a lack of conscious probably refers to) but they certainly can be pro social for their entire lives and have a very in depth theory of mind. For mimicry purposes, but this is all they have... Like being wheelchair bound from birth in an emotions and empathy way.
This means you being like this is perceived as persecutory, and they literally don't understand why... It's very anger inducing to be told you are inherently bad for nothing you can control especially when you receive a lot of rejection, punishment and seemingly endless strife in all aspects of life due to people not attempting to understand you once the charisma wears off in others idealistic image of you 😔
@@DevoidVoid I see, that actually makes a lot more sense. Literally being called a psychopath is the ultimate damage to their mask
This is a great channel!!
Thank you! I am glad you like it
Wow man didn't expect you here
@@further_rush5138Ik right they should do a collab
@@unsolicitedadvice9198How many times did u let him smash for a comment like this?
This is a very interesting analysis. I was very interested with Dorian's relationship with Lord Henry. As narcissistic as Dorian is, he seemed so obsessed in impressing Lord Henry and adopting a lifestyle that lived up to Henry's ideals., never realizing that Lord Henry was a windbag.
Honestly, the Lord was getting off playing with Dorian's mind.
Wow I can't believe you did a full length video on me
I’m currently writing an essay on this book, and I absolutely adore this video! The analysis and your thoughts are so great, thank you so much!
Thank you! I’m glad you liked it
I was in the middle of novel and I suddenly hit on this video and spoiled the entire charm . But this is the best illustration of novel. Hatsoff
I really hope you get the recognition you deserve dude, your videos are not unsolicited advice at all.
Thanks! I’m glad you are enjoying the videos
A wonderful encapsulation of not only the story but too the psychology behind it.
Thank you! I think that the narcissism element really pops out of the page
narcissism is a self-esteem issue. they hate themselves and their behavior is a survival response to that
Yep dorian is a narcissist
They love to blame everyone for their troubles except themselves. Yeah i’ve been with few of them. I’m glad to know this book, it also can be use as guide to compass one’s self.
This book really changed the way I think about many things
I do really like it. And I find the writing style very witty
@@unsolicitedadvice9198you should definitely read his other works too, his writing style really intrigues me.
Hey mister! You’re excellent at conveying information effectively
Thank you! That is very kind of you to say!
Thank you so much for these videos, for a while I felt like a shell of a person, but slowly I’ve started building myself back up and your videos reignite my interest in philosophy and make me feel happy. Please don’t stop making these if you can help it:)
Thank you! And I will definitely keep going with them
The picture of Dorian gray is probably my favorite novel. Aside from a brave new world.
This is a wonderful analysis of the themes that are central to the novel, and you make it relevant to students who may not be inspired to read. I appreciate your enthusiasm and your development of the theme throughout your talk.
This covers a good deal of those who are currently recognized as needing everyone to capitulate to their delusions. If others don't perpetually uphold this delusion, the subject decries it as hate, or even, "genocide."
Don't let those narcissistic types persuade you into thinking you are a bad person for not agreeing to the lies they tell themselves.
“Each of us has Heaven and Hell inside him.” - Chapter 13 said By Dorian to Basil
A great line
Reminds me of paradise lost satan quote of making a heaven of hell
Great analysis! I just finished this book. It was so sad in many ways (Basil did NOT deserve his fate), but I loved it.
Dorian really is the perfect embodiment of a narcissist, but I wonder if he wasn’t manipulated into his actions from Henry? Of course he made his own path, but given that everyone has narcissistic traits within them, perhaps full blown narcissism is bred via your environment and outside influences.
Henry essentially scared him into thinking his beauty and youth was the only thing he had to offer the world. With that, I went from feeling sad for Dorian (I think we’ve all had that existential crisis of one day getting older and losing our looks), but I quickly started to hate him after how he treated Sybil lol.
Reminds me of sentenced song "guilt and regret" where these to feelings are viewed as enemies within.
Thank god I am quite humble myself. Easily the humblest person I know.
😂
U are the reason why I enjoy DORIAN GRAY SO MUCH
He wouldn't have started to let other people ahead of him or have done anything kind until he'd dealt with guilt and mourning of the parts of himself he'd been burying bit by bit.
I think that he didn't get scared of how hard it is to be nice. He had realized how much of himself he had already lost, and that realisation threw him over the edge. With fear, probably. And despair. And anger.
Your way of explanation, voice and intonations (not to mention the good looks lol) is really attention-gripping. I found this video by searching about the book, but I'd definitely check out your other videos.
You make great content, keep up the nice work 💜
Thank you!
Another brilliant video. Please keep them coming.
A brilliant introduction to this novel. I enjoyed every word
I noticed narcisstic mostly have extremely independent / complete anything on his own all alone trait, or super-co-dependent even to a dependent guilt level
He would tend to force you into any relationship just to get a really close time with you, and could be 1 day later he acted like completely do not want to get in touch with you, but when he is close to you, he almost begged for friendship/brotherhood/long-knowning company relationship, begging, that what made people hard to leave them
But trust me, that is more like super-hyper on drug vs post-drug withdrawal
Their brain are fucked, completely fucked, either at super-excited state or at insanely self-petty alone moment, no balance, no in between, put yourself into their shoes that is a terrible mental state for anyone, a uncontrollable high-speed running brain and a dysfunctional bag of garbage, everyday switched between these 2, the most suffering part
I would now consider what they did was looking for a thrill, a high, or an excitement, to cover the very-deeply-enormous emptiness inside, the not knowing what other people loneliness, the distance, unconnectable of this own individual while being a narrator witnessing everything without a right/a choice/a will/a freedom to choose out of this fucked brain
Not simply only about evil, about a broke down brain, sensitive and easily triggered
Long time bitter and hallow
This sounds simply like drug addiction, and that is not just because of the drug metaphors or direct reference. Having highs from both uppers and downers create their own lows. Uppers are classic for the “suicide Monday” as it is sadly colloquially recognized, and downers create a deadness in their own sense, a groggy perseverance when the substance wanes. Many antisocial traits (narcissistic tendencies being one) are due to addiction. Not sure if you’ll see this comment or if anyone else will, but if it happens to be someone you know or even yourself, don’t neglect the idea of substances. Even alcohol can do this to people. Just be mindful
I (accidentally?) read this book when I was around 10 or 11 years old, and I have not given much thought to it since (30 years) until now. I am so grateful for this video and deep analysis, which I can now understand. Thank you!
I see you were the model for the Dorian illustration.
Superb insights into the nature of the narcissistic game. It's the ultimate short term strategy but suddenly falls apart often with a fury, given enough time.
this is the best unsolicited advice i could ever not ask for XD
Haha! Thank you!
Soo well explained. Very well done indeed!! Thankyou for it.
Thank you! I am really glad you enjoyed it
Such a terrifying, yet fun and charming book.
It really is
Great video, I would love more analysis of the novel please
I have become exactly the horrible Dorian Gray type of narcissist in the past couple of years, and everywhere I go I end up corrupting people in one way or another. It's like I've made a deal with the devil that he makes me believe I'm a superior demi-god while he gets to corrupt people through me. And on one hand I really want to go back to my former self that people actually liked but no-one respected, but on the other hand I still don't want to leave this fantasy bubble that I've created for myself. Because people avoid me like the plague when I'm like this, and I don't want to bring more misery into this world. How do I burst that bubble? I really need advice...
Stop.👈
Sounds like you need a swift kick in the ass!
Telling you to "stop" seems like a dumb statement because it's like someone telling you to stop having cancer when you have cancer but in the case of narcissism you are the only anti body that can stop the narcissistic cancer inside of you. You are the one that has to fight against it everyday. If you don't know how, you get a therapist and that therapist will guide you through that fight but you will be the one that is actually fighting that battle.
Once a narcissist, always a narcissist. You're lost. Good luck
Don't be taking psychology advice from fools off RUclips. Sounds like you're aware you're a jerk, so self awareness is the first step.
I just finished The Picture of Dorian Gray and really enjoyed the story of a narciisist! Really made me think!
Dorian Gray is such a fascinating character. Interesting analysis! I've always wondered if he could have been different if he had people praising him for good behavior instead of good looks. I almost see him as being created (to a degree) by the way people treated him. If everyone praises you for your looks and charisma, it makes sense to capitalize on those traits and ignore other ones.
My honest take while reading the book was that Basil was clearly the angel and Harry the devil, felt satisfying to hear you say it as well. Guess it's not a particular difficult thing to realize but as someone who has recently found his passion for reading after avoiding it like the plague for the first half of my life, it was nice on a personal level.
I was hypnotized in the story for this 15 mins❤❤ The best one ❤❤
Thanks for your words of wisdom. I'm liking your channel a lot lately.
Woah that's a dark book indeed ! Sad to think people like this do exist in this world ( I know this is a metaphorical representation and is exaggerated but still) . On the side note I really enjoyed this video a lot and found it interesting subscribing to you to hope to find more such stories coverage and recommendations !!
Thank you! And I think some of my favourite characters in literature are exaggerated versions of people we really do see out in the world
I really don't think it's exaggerated though....
@@emmaphilo4049 Well I'm sure there is always someone out there who is worser than we can imagine ( thanks to the news nowadays) but I want to believe that these are just broken people and a exaggeration of reality which takes quite a toll on oneself.
Keep up the amazing work bro
Thank you! I shall do and I am glad you like the videos
Thank you for the insightful analysis. I look forward to reading all the books you've covered in your videos. It has been incredibly enjoyable to hear your insights into these literary works. ❤
wonderfully executed. a sober (but very fascinating, never boring) thought process.
I heard the reference to Narssicus...brilliant.
Yes, i really think this is the one of the most underrated novels
Brilliantly written and narrated.
I watched the movie along with my mother and wow i will say it affected me
This is like, really, really good 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
I feel like a narcissist because I do all the good in my life to avoid my better natures chastising me and making me feel like shit for not doing good. I analyze why I do stuff so much and the only reason I can come up with is that I act the way I act so that I can tell myself that I am not a bad person, or so that other people dont think Im a bad person. That, or I am just treating people how I would want to be treated.
So not even close to a narcissist then 😂
I thought like that as well and realised this year that my parents were the ones who were narcissistic 😅😅 they brainwashed me to think I was the bad person - well, that's what narcissists do
@@someone-bt5lu Happens way too often, your parents and my mom should hang out lol
This channel is so underated
Now I think I should work on ny narcissist tendencies.
Btw love utmr video ❤🎉
I think there is a narcissist in us all. And glad you liked the video
Not us all 😊.
But most, probably yes.
nah narcassism is a scale
This is the first video I've watched of yours. Pretty cool.
Thanks! Glad you liked it
Have you read Crime and Punishment by Fyodor Dostoevsky? There is one paragraph within that book that has gripped my consciousness for years. I would love your opinion on the topic. It is in Chapter 5, it goes roughly like this, there are ordinary men and extraordinary men. Ordinary men are bound to the rule of law and should follow the medians moral code. Extraordinary men are a rarity and have the intellect or the power to make great net positive changes in the world. Raskolnikov (the protagonist of sorts) uses this in part to justify his actions of murder. Now I do believe murder to be wrong, yet I also believe that murder is sometimes needed, the greatest example would be WW2, you could not take Hitler down with words. So this has caused me to do a introspective drive into what is right and wrong because I would argue that the biblical commandment of thou shall not murder is not always true. So there are exceptions for morality that are sometimes needed. The conclusion I have come to is this, what makes an action good or bad is not the action itself, it is the time elapsed, time is the judge of morality. Something that is good or bad in the short term might not be good or bad in the long term. Think of touching a hot stove, it hurts you in the short term but in the long term you hopefully learn the lesson to be more aware of touching hot surfaces. The net is positive. Think of smoking, nicotine in the short term is awesome, increased focus and concentration get all that sexy acetylcholine and dopamine in the short term; but in the long term it causes health risks. An action that can, at least antidotally, be positive in the short term turns into a net negative in the long term. I hope I have elaborated my expansion of Dostoevsky's thoughts well, I believe this is a good location to get some genuine conductive criticism. Please tell me your opinion whoever is reading this.
Morality is closely linked to the ego, for there needs to be a perspective to outweigh the good and bad of a given action. Given that needed perspective the only real question is who's judging? Leave it to a hindu to judge, and every living being is exactly as important as the others, but leave it to a monotheistic person to judge, and it'll only be the people that worships their god. And neither of those are wrong, they're frameworks that are righteous within their own perspective.
Altruism only works when we know what's true, whilst solipsism doesn't need any guidelines. I think that's the dillema that's been slowly corrupting society
I’m not as articulate or well read as you.
However, it just seems to me that we can’t know at the point of our behaviour what the end result will be over time - will it turn out good or evil? Often it will be both.
Furthermore, even the concept of good or bad is subjective and can’t be agreed upon by people.
@@robotone2812exactly everything is technically subjective when you think deeply enough about anything
@@TrugoyEveryDayI do agree that a diversity in culture is good. The more ways people and few the world the better. Diversity in culture can come up with different solutions to the same problem which I think the human species needs.
Could you elaborate on why you think altruism “works only if we know what’s true”? I don’t think I fully understand what you mean.
Plato's republic. Dan Winters esoteric Kundalini science
UR BRITISH
YOU DISCUSS PHILOSOPHY AND ARTS
I LOVE YOUR CHANNEL
THANK YOUR FOR MAKING CONTENT
IF NO ONE IN THE WORLD LOVES YOUR VIDEOS, THEN I AM DEAD
YOUR VIDEOS FUEL ME
True psychopaths do not feel normal human emotions and are narcissists. They are not punished by their consciences only anger at failing to achieve what they want. So they just carry on hurting people until they are stopped.
Maybe, but it is important to remember that people are not born without consciences, but rather become that way by continuously ignoring and silencing their conscience. That silenced conscience develops into anger and, since one might be refusing to listen to one’s own conscience, thus refusing to address the root of the problem, that pent up frustration becomes anger, and is directed towards all the wrong places. No one is born doomed to be a bad person; just as no one is immune from becoming a bad person. I think this “us, normal people” VS “they, the true psychopaths and narcissists, who can’t even feel normal human emotions!” mindset, is one that can lead one to dangerous roads. Even Dorian Gray started out as a fairly decent person, if I recall correctly… Anyhow, please forgive my rant, or if I misunderstood something you said. I wish you a very good day.
@@housemouse4209I like what you had to say and agree with a more moderate, less divisive approach to these conditions. However, you'd be remiss to not acknowledge physical and biological differences that do in fact change the way a person thinks and behaves. Birth defects and tumors to name a few.
Perfectly articulated
Thank you!
very insightful video!
these videos became my only company when m taking the bus at 6am to school , thanks a lot for ur efforts :3 !
Ah thank you so much for this comment. This really made my day
Really thank you for such perfectness ❤
Thank you mate that that was really helpful
Beautiful explanation 🫡🫡🫡
Oh THIS IS SO GOOD! We just finished reading this book for our Virtual Book Club and we hosted our instagram live last night. Thank you for this insight. -T*
I'd like to read just one novel where hedonism works out and narcissism is a success. We've been programmed to feel shame.
I have my finals on this book thanks for the good explanation
I read this book in early highschool. And never forgot it! Still one of my favorites
Same!
youre kind of a role model to me, your videos inspire me to become a better version of myself and read more. Thank you very much
can I know your age?
Ah thank you! That is very kind. And I am only young (23), but have been coaching people in studying and philosophy in some capacity for a long time now (probably coming up to 5 years, though I don't know exact dates)
There is NO cure for this condition. Remember this before you try to help these people.
Get away from them immediately!
This is the best analysis I've heard so far! Thanks!
I'll tell you more Basil is not just a good angel on Dorian's shoulder he is his symblic creator (the portrait) he is Jesus Christ killed by his creation. Lord Henry definitely is the devil. Oscar Wilde perfectly described spiritual struggle of every human being as it is represented in the Bible.
Awesome channel bro!
Thank you! That is very kind
Brilliant novel, I love it!!! Good analysis :)
Thank you! Glad you enjoyed it!
Beautiful analysis ♥
This was a great video 👏👏👏
You can only sit, looking at your reflection in the lake for so long before you fall in and drown. Damnnnn
All this book really depicts is the inner workings of an insecure person, and how they manifest their delusions of eternal life and eternal is the youth without God. It offers no real hope into the eternal world. It’s a hopeless book, but extremely well written it was a magnificent masterpiece. Saying that it offers no hope to people about eternity.
Remarkable delivery
Thank you!
I read a shortened version of this story as a child in school, but I always thought it was unfair how he gets screwed by the painting. I don't get it, he seemed the victim of the story if anything, like he fell to corruption rather than being intrinsically bad. And the ending felt cheap.
I’m sad to say that this narcissistic behavior at some point ending tragically for a narcissist is just wishful thinking for us normal people. In reality, the bliss, charisma and success of these people continue indefinitely and they do have incredible lives with no regard for the others.
Do they, though? It may appear that way on the outside but meet them in old age - it usually doesn’t end well
Great Video Brother
Thank you!
thank you so much for the summary. I haven't watched the movie yet, is it good?
These videos are awesome
Can someone please explain to me the ending please? i know that he died but it was so short and there was no explanation, what happened ?
Excellent video! New subscriber
Thank you!
wow, great video and presentation! very interesting
thank you
Many thanks! Glad you liked it
Absolutely brilliant
Crazily enough this really reminds me of Griffith
It seems Oscar did not learn he could not resist temptation.
Truth is, deep down, everyone is a narcissist. And those who tell you to dissolve your ego want to make and keep you weak to be controled.
You should not dissolve your Ego
Ego can prevent you from being manipulated
Though to much Ego can destroy you and the people around you Reality doesn't revolve around you it's everyone's Story
2 people that have a high Ego will have conflict there has to be a balance Nature has a balance and a Rythm Thats wat you should do with your Ego
I have to respectfully disagree with your statement that everyone is a narcissist.
True narcissists have no real empathy and a seared conscience.
I know. I was married to a covert narc for 25 years.
I do see that narcissism is being rewarded and enabled in our society so I would expect to see alot more true narcissists in the future.
Our society was different when I was growing up in the 70s and 80s and people were raised differently and held accountable for their actions more often.
It's only since that changed that we see real narcissistic personality disorder become more common and socially protected.
@@TheJett1904 You stayed with the narcissist for 25 years. You were attracted to the narcissist. So tell me how it did not benefit the narcissist? You are a contradiction.
@theasuraluis I didn't realize he was a narcissist and as soon as I did, I divorced him. They always start out on their best behavior to ensnare you.
You should educate yourself on covert narcissism. They particularly target caring people and they are very convincing liars. He had everyone fooled, not just me.
Edit: It certainly did benefit him until it didn't in a big way.
@@TheJett1904 Zero accountability. So it took 25 years to figure it out? You are an absolute clown.
😃 Yes, sir! 😃
🤔I read somewhere that À rebours by Joris-Karl Huysmans was the book that you mentioned in the chapter 2 of your video. It will be great if you could make a video about that novel! 😃
Can senseca stoic from miles away, new breed.
But is dorian responsible when it was lord Henry who corrupted him? I would argue that Dorian is a victim because society treated him a certain way and he responded in kind. Like a child actor almost. When I see child actors develop physiological problems, I think we bear the responsibility for that as a society for putting them in that role
My thoughts are in line with your here. Lord Henry is a bad influence indeed. Dorian Gray was pure like an oasis in the desert according to Basil. The conversation and the capricious friendship have altered Dorian. I admire Basil's sincerity and loyalty. Love this masterpiece wholeheartedly.
Lord Henry corrupted him but only because Dorian gave in to the temptation of his wicked ideals, while being very aware of the "angel" that stood on the other side: Basil Hallward. Nevertheless, he chose his path.
In other words, it almost seems to me that you imply that a corrupted man should not be held accountable for his own corruption because "the devil" is the one who lured him into it. Men choose their fate.
I love The picture of Dorian Gray