WHY YOU NEED TO REMEMBER WHAT HAPPENED
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- Опубликовано: 14 окт 2024
- Why you need to remember what happened. After the relationship has ended, you will be questioning yourself many times how did I get here? Did I do enough? Did they love me? Did they care about me? Could I have done more etc. You will be questioning yourself you will be ruminating. You will be missing the person that you were in the relationship with. This is the trauma bond that must be broken. You see the narcissist never had your best heart they didn’t then they don’t now and they won’t in the future. The narcissist is a master manipulator. This is why you need to keep reminding yourself of exactly what happened. All the gaslighting all of the silent treatment all the rage fits all the verbal abuse all of the financial abuse all of the mental abuse all the emotional abuse. This all took place you just didn’t know what you were in because you weren’t taught narcissistic abuse in school but you’ve lived it and now you’re healing and now you’re understanding that you are the priority that you come first second and third. You are stronger than you know so don’t give up don’t ever give up. Continue on the path moving forward each and every day and continue to remember what you experience and what you went through. There is a reason you’re here in the community and is so you can get your cup full and you can heal and in time in your time you will heal you will reach the pinnacle of indifference. Sending you positive, energy, energy and strength. Namaste
🌲🌲Schedule A One on One Hourly Coaching Session email at: narcdailyvideos@gmail.com
#growth #abundance #healing #narcdaily #selflove #gaslighting #selfawareness
God bless you, Andrew, and this whole community.
I couldn't have done it without you all. I don't have enough space for all of the hearts needed, so everyone, please accept this one as yours. ❤
God bless you all.
Thank you..😌💯🙏💜
Thanks, will take it
Thank you, exactly what I needed. 🇺🇸
Thank You 🙏 Right back at YA!!! 💜💐
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Never think you can handle a relationship with a narcissist. They always win. You can only ever win by leaving.
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Correct! 👍👍👍💥🙏
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There are no winners
@@NARCDAILYYouAreNotAlone You’re saving people out here. Anytime topics like these get touched on, I realize I’m not alone because people who have live with narcissistic abuse definitely understand this in a deeper level. I used to be the forgive and forget type but taking the higher road didn’t change anything. Once I started not to forget I realized how far these people were willing to go. Now that I cut them off not forgetting makes me not feel guilty & realize the peace I have right now.
Thanks,
Andrew. Thats theme for thoughts. I feel terribly sorry about lots of unfinished work we did together with narcissist when wasnt clear who he is. Sometimes would be nice to forget all this. Of course, the lesson is Hard one, but thats life. I was the blessing of his work and fate, but he choosed otherwise. Now he is at depression, looking ugly as hell, perhaps his soul is coming out . He phoned me at 3.oo of morning but said nothing, not a Word. Snake, born at snakes year.
Spot on. Write it all down. Every insult,every gaslight,every nasty thing they ever said or did. Read it when you start backsliding. Not to stay stuck,but to stay strong!
I can never forget how he treated me when I was pregnant. Never and I can't forgive him
I will never forget what happened and how it ends. Never again.
Not only can they not change, they don't want to change.
I will never forget what happened 💔 to me and I will never go thru that again! Peace is so valuable 😊😊❤🎉
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Once you heal, that relationship will disgust you. So glad I found this channel. 😊 Andrew is great and rain is so peaceful.
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Ditto 😊
Love the seven 709 comment!
So true. I regret so much giving my dad the benefit of the doubt only to slowly uncover what kind of person he is. Now, I go back in time to everything he's done and I choose to hold him accountable because he was able to fool me as a child and teenager but now, yeah, I'm disgusted.
It's true! My ex repulses me.
I hate when people say, well both parties need to take responsibility for what they did to cause the end of the relationship. 🙄🥴 I didn’t do anything wrong in our marriage. I was good to him from day one. He just twisted everything to make it seem like I was always to blame. And for a long time I even believed that. I’m almost 7 years post divorce and I will never forget what he did to me and my children. It was quite the lesson to be learned.
I believe you. I've seen so many great women being abused by bad men even when the woman was a great mother and wife. Those women had to escape and divorce for their own health and their childrens. Most narcs are men.
@@basicinfo2022 exactly that! 💯♥️
They cannot love. Period.
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They really can't. They won't. They refuse to. They are incapable of.
They are the devil in human form not loving not kind. Toxicness my molecules recognize the YUK. Fact. Think I will start jogging... rid that. Just ended a spiritual war. I won. Left it all.
I have so many emails over almost 3 decades to him, trying to help, understand, apologize, appeal, get on the same page, etc. and he NEVER RESPONDED. It was his way of just making everything go away. No paper trail. No acknowledgment. No validation. And certainly no investment in being an actual couple, a team. Instead, he just focused on undermining and sucking me dry. So glad to never have to see him again.
They want you to have no validation no proof no life after the relationship. The hardest part, is finding out you or the family were never loved
You don’t want to dwell on things that happened and the relationship but you don’t want to look back at the relationship with rose colored glasses either.
Exactly. I'm not even sure if thinking about it is healthy....but every once in a while, I feel vulnerable. Remembering the garbage he put me through, and seeing it in print, cools any ardor I feel toward him. Thanks for commenting
Andrew was the needle i found in my narcissistic haystack. I struggled for understanding since childhood searching for answers. I always felt less than. My narcissistic journey began with my mother. Then my husband. And, finally my business associate, who I moved with to Oaxaca, Mexico. It's been 2 years since I found Andrew. I was 74 years old. No one else speaks to me the way he does. Perhaps it's because he isn't afraid to acknowledge his own jjourney. Andrew has saved my life. Never give up the search. The teacher will come when the student is ready. Andrew is the best teacher you will ever find. 100% NO CONTACT with the narcissist. Namaste.
Thank you.. lifetime and took literally almost 66 to understand what this is?
Your words ring so true. Knowledge is freedom. Andrew is love. !!!!!!!! Or - Freedom is knowledge Love is Andrew. ;-)
When I read my old notes I can see exactly where I was at that point in my healing journey. Its crazy when you look back and are out of the fog and see how insane your life actually was! So glad I escaped!!
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I keep finding old journal entries detailing the same nonsense decades earlier. Glad we're out!
I am in the self isolation stage. It's a joyous feeling to enjoy my own company in the peace and quiet of my own home. The silence is golden! When will I rejoin the world? I already have, but in my own way.
I’m in the same spot. About 8 months from being discarded. I have freedom!
@@toddanderson3568 and........no drama!
I still don’t believe I made it! Peace and freedom is pure bliss!
I feel the same way.. I'm so glad I finally see the light and the future looks much better.
A problem with growing up in a home with a narcisst is that your body reads people wrong. You are attracted to people with the same toxic enery as you grew up in . The prosess of unlearning to be attraced to this toxic enery takes time. So hang in there! You are going to make it!
So, I’m not wrong for not having any relationships with people that come from those kind of spaces. It sounds horrible..but, I can smell it on them. I married one, and I knew better..never made that mistake again! Not in even friendships. ❤
I forgive and wil not forget. The torture in my life. 😢❤❤❤
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💔Blessings...
I told a an old "friend" who screwed me out of real money the other week, I forgive you, but, I retract my trust". He knows how long it takes to earn my trust. It ALL transactional with them.
It is torture .. you need to process it, writing is amazing ..as is walking in nature .. God loves you
@@camelotenglishtuition6394 And doing what YOU like! Self care is poo pooed at these days. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.
5 months Free - all this is real Andrew - thank you for reminding us - so important
Welcome..😌😌💜🙏
So glad for you, I'm 1 month free
So glad you're free, Suzie. I just signed the settlement papers, and I need everyone to pray that I don't look back...its all so final
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@@susanthepowerselleryou can do this! You are stronger than you think and now choose YOURSELF 💞 😊
The narc in my life is away for work. Today I mentioned to him that my blood pressure is high. He changes the subject. I try to bring the subject back to my health, again, I am ignored. The narcs only want you when you can give something to them. Once your resources are depleted, they start looking for a new supply.
Empath (returning from urgent care) "i need some medicine" Narc (raging) "I don't feel good!"
Empath (goes to hospital thinking she's going into labor) "The doctor says it's braxton hicks...they are just preparatory contracitions ~ Narc "You better never call me at work again!"
Please start looking at yourself, pay attention to your own health more than to anything else. They are NOT worth your health, time and money 🙏
Your blood pressure is high because you're under constant stress. Wondering why you are still in the relationship. I hope you can start making a plan to leave. Make sure you don't announce anything to him. He didn't tell you when he was going to cheat did he? He didn't tell you ahead of time when he was going to Gaslight right, or ghost you, right? You do not tell them anything. You simply leave, and cut off all forms of communication. The longer you stay with this person the worst your health is going to get and generally if you get something like cancer they will leave you right about them. Please take care of yourself.
Please LEAVE, do not put off the inevitable.
My lightbulb moment! My husband researched "MY" condition!!!!! And reported me his findings!!!!! BYE BYE
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@leighleigh8725 I have been called bipolar for 39 years!!!!!
My daughter told me it was her “data.” Yikes.
@leighleigh8725 oh, I had split personality.
The notes, wow! I have 2 huge linear file cabinet drawers full of notes. They were written in notebooks, but also many little scraps of paper that was the closest thing I could grab to scribble them on. I also hid a notebook in various areas of the house to write down what was said or done because he was gaslighting me to the point I didn't know what was real. I had a breakdown. I was so confused. He recently sent me a nasty email that was totally gaslighting.
I will never forget it, but still I struggle with things like clutter in my home and I have problems trusting people and I feel mentally drained when i am in social situations even though I like hanging out with people, I experience peace when i am alone thank god !
Good afternoon Andrew this is day 3 of me blocking the narcissist she left a voicemail yesterday telling me to call her but I didn't give in I don't need distractions in my life
Thank you for sharing..💪🙏💜💯
@@NARCDAILYYouAreNotAlone you're welcome Andrew I'll keep giving you updates
Proud of you. Try not to listen to the voicemails, or read the text messages. Onward.
♥Blessings...
Stay strong Steve, you've got this
They break the situation and now they get to play the victim. Never telling people they were the cause
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If you were gas lit if you were trying to give the best and all to no avail than you are a victim if you never knew about these seemless soulless humans ( soul vamps mimmicks) and you had children and you wanted to make a working relationship. And if you never had the education than yes you are a victim. I like to see myself as a survivor and not so much the victim. I'm stoked that they are rewriting the DSM even if it's for people to become aware. If you are sensitive to life than you are vulnerable to the narcissis. And yes I know the narcs are victims of their own childhood but that doesn't make it ok. OK!?
Yup, someone groomed a persecution complex inside of them. Replaced their personality with it even. I am so lucky to have had limited parenting.
We needed this rain so badly. It nice to hear the sound of it. I just wish it would be easier to get all the dogs to go out. Thanks for another great video.
The aging narcissist, he is 67, told me that a 41 year old female at work told him that she could not believe he was that old, she thought he was around her age.🤣🤣 What a freakin joke. I wanted to tell him that she was just trying to be nice and stroke his ego. He is delusional, there is no way he looks like he is in his 40's. I just can't with him anymore.🤯
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My ex was 41yo. Now acts like a 20yo ! 😅so delusional
I could be wrong. But that sounds like a triangulation 🤣Wow! Good for you! Woo Hoo! 🤣🤣🤣
Their triangulation attempts are laughable at times 😂😂
You have to laugh or you'd cry.....I had similar from 'him'..... delusional and painful to listen to and to watch when we were out together. No respect for me whatsoever, I was invisible 🤷
Once we start our healing journey and move towards the mountain top of indifference, everything good starts returning. Getting the knowledge and experience of that horrible narcissistic abuse cycle becomes our superpower. You start seeing narcissistic people in a totally different light, they are ugly and boring individuals, no matter how attractive they seem to the world. You don’t want to have anything to do with their evil behaviour and detrimental influence their mere presence has on you. You respect and love yourself enough to put up strong boundaries and protect your peace and wellbeing by no contact or minimal contact!
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Hi Andrew….because I don’t want to doubt myself….i have journaled all, and I mean ALL of the abuses and manipulations I have endured from my 94 years old narc mother….im 72…
i have not seen her for almost two months…YAY ME…and today my father reached out to my husband just to find out if everyone is ok…she won’t reach out and frankly I don’t give a crap.
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💔Blessings...
Takes longer to get over a narc parent than any other relationship. One day we realize, they never cared. After decades of it, it's easier to quit grieving. I had to let go in stages. Then, the treatment get so horrible, it's like, what kind of parent does this?
@@susanthepowerseller she cared..but she cared MUCH MORE about herself…. Back in the 60s….when I was a kid and money was tight….everyweek she went to the hair dresser and once a month had her hair dyed blond….when she came home from those appointments we had to comment on the color, the set…the who,e weekend revolved around her god dammed hair….or if it wasn’t her hair, it was her weight….she never sat down at the dinner table and ate a meal with us….anorexic…we were lower middle class and money was very tight…my sister and I (twins) shared a few pieces of clothing to wear to school and every night we would fight about who would wear what…BUT…her blond hair was a priority…there was $$$$$$$ for that. I figured out that over the course of her life, she must have spent at least 75,000 on her hair….tips and gifts for the holiday season for the hairdresser…wouldn’t want to piss those people off…but my sister and I had nothing to wear….thats just great for a young girl/ teenagers self esteem…
92 and still ticking,,everready narcbunny
I hate that I waited so long!😢 39 years!😢
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Ugh! I hear you! 21 years until the Almight said "enough" ruclips.net/video/TlT7IcUduCM/видео.html
Glad you made it, enjoy your life on its better track
My heart goes out to you. My recently ended one, (by me,) was 30 years...but there were other narcs before that. One stabbed me 10-11 times puncturing my lung. My mother was one, also a 'friend' who turned out completely toxic. No more excuses. NO MORE NARCS !!! xxx
Holidays and birthday, I enjoy my solitude celebrations based on not being betrayed, lied to, ghosted, neglected, arguing and disappointment. 4 yrs out
They are the aging Narcissist,,it's not a pretty sight I came across a lot of them on Holiday,So happy alone I am,no one to report back to,only myself, t.y. Andrew💫✨❤️
Welcome..💯💜🙏🙌
💗💗💗💗💗💗@@ESSIEMARIE1998
You experience dissociation as a survival mechanism. It's the essence of trauma. The overwhelming experience is splitt off and fragmented, so that emotions, sounds, thoughts and physical sensations take on a life of their own.
In order to heal, it is important to clearly recognize and remember the reality of the past.Your brain knows tricks to trivialize what happened.
Thank you so much Andrew you help so much! Stay safe everyone!
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This is absolutely correct. The process itself is called splitting. Integrating these painful memories is vital for healing.
This is so important for us to learn. Thank you. Especially what is highlighted here “your brain knows tricks to trivialize what happened “ - yes our brains are amazing and avoiding won’t work. Remembering is key. ❤❤❤
@@gratefultobehere But also it must be when the mind is ready. If you really force it, you risk mental health issues.
Thank you as always, Andrew. I’ve come a LONG way to reach the pinnacle of indifference and it just feels sooo relieving and refreshing to start a clean slate. Now, I am Narc Repellent
Repellant indeed. Truth.
Never forget.
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Thank you Andrew! You are my only source of comfort, and I can't tell you how much that means to me. Hearing such loving words from a stranger half way around the world is the biggest blessing I have ever received.
GOD BLESS YOU BROTHER
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This was so scarily accurate. From the note taking, to the "how did I get here?" I started taking notes because he would deny saying some of the nasty things he said. I had to keep track of what was going on because I truly questioned myself and maybe I had heard wrong. I kept notes and one day I typed them up so I wouldn't lose them. Those notes saved me when I thought of contacting them again. I read them again to remind myself to never contact them again. It's shameful to see how I let someone talk to me but it's also a shocking reminder to be careful and that he isn't the wonderful person I thought he was. And that he didn't actually like me at all. Thank you for offering your support here always. Your videos are a service to anyone who is going through this abuse.
Welcome..🙏💜😌
This sounds like my story. I am at this point now. Somewhat on the other side of things. Going through trial/court next week for an assault charge. Time will heal and I'm already feeling better.
I have notes, too. A month into the relationship. I knew but didn't understand. Thank you.
In the middle of divorce now… I keep slipping into a dissociative state and can’t remember … I am taking notes to remind myself but even when I read the notes I question dud that happen.. am I crazy… I’m mostly in a freeze mode … having a hard time getting anything at all done even taking a shower or brushing my teeth is a chore . Ugh… this is so hard 😢I don’t know who I am anymore… I’m lost.. so lost
Mind yourself and take baby steps you will get through it all
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Maybe it was so hard on you that you pushed it away at the time in order to be able to go on. That plus the doubt they plant in us might be the reason. I have a similar problem. Started a journal... donot get anything down... so much has happened. I reached the pinnacle of indifference in daily life... however digging in my memories is extremely painful. How did we get there? Trust I think... because normally I am a critical thinker. Start taking deep breaths every hour in front of an open window... to help you relax. You will get there after what you endured you can conquer the world. Hugs❤
I know exactly what you mean. It is hard to believe the impact a relationship can have on your mind.
Take a quick walk change your environment even for 10 minutes
I have put relationships on the side for 8 years. "friends" and such, but nothing romantic. My fear is that there is something wrong with me. I don't want to put anyone through that, furthermore. I am plus 3 deviations. Very rare to find that in another, at least where I live. So I work on my "one off" wooden boats, mess around with some electronic experiments, and good music. Folks come around, but they know, very little, if any supply is coming off me. As always, internal validation (internal locus of control) FTW! Thanks Andrew, your my new favorite counselor. And free at that!
When i was dating a narc i kept a journal. A few yrs later ehen i was married to a healthy person i read thd journsl snd i was shocked and appalled at what i put up with for 3 years.
No weapons formed against me shall prosper Amen and Amen 🎉❤
Trust no one.🎉🎉🎉🎉❤❤❤
Things are always magically working out for me.🎉
Things are always magically working out for me.🎉
No more relationships.🎉🎉🎉❤
Stay close to Jesus amen.❤🎉
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Divorce just finalized today. Married in 1977. I feel numb. Not happy. Not sad. I have become a much better person in the last 3 years since he left, though it took time.
I may be almost 70, complete with my wrinkles and grey hair but i feel free and finally at peace.
@@user-pv4bz8bu8q It feels great to be 70 when you are free. You start realizing that you are freer than you have ever been in your entire life. Take care. Enjoy getting to learn what you want to experiment with in your future.
@@user-pv4bz8bu8q Thank you for that.
❤@@user-pv4bz8bu8q
“The narcissists want what they can’t have”.. truth!!.. I also believe it’s important to remember what happened.. it’ll keep the clarity.. but not to the point that it impacts moving forward.. just enough to keep moving forward with plans and never go back.. remember their faces and their evil eyes the first time and the multiple times you experienced any type of mistreatment and negative statements directed your way.. remember just how often it would happen.. remember the gaslighting.. remember who you were before them (the positives), and remember how you deteriorated around them.. if you need to forget anything, forget the euphoric stage.. it’ll just keep you stuck mentally and/or physically, think of that as an unrealistic and unsustainable fantasy.. journaling and taking notes is good advice.. do so discreetly.. THANK YOU 💜🪻
Welcome..💜🙏😌💯
Very good encouragement here. 💪🙏💞 and hope you are doing well 💖✨
That's your power now Laila, knowing the difference!
Keep moving forward!
Have a good day...
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@@gratefultobehere hi grateful, I appreciate your message. Thank you for it. I just re-read my comment and i feel like it sounds like I’m advising people on what to do 😂I think at the same time I was trying to reiterate that it’s what I’ve done or am doing at this point too. But hopefully it helps anyone who reads it. That remembering is just as important as forgetting certain things too. I hope your evening is a peaceful one and I’ve started typing my reply to your other message too. I wish you a good rest 💜🪻☃️⭐️🌧️☂️(and an umbrella if needed😊)
@@Thedisgardedoptimist thank you for saying that Greg, a simple sentence of a few words, yet so informative and motivating. I really appreciate it. Knowing the difference is the power. This should be a quote. Also letting you know I’ve seen your other message and have also started writing a reply. I’ve been alternating in my communications today, but thankful to have the time to do so as well. I hope your day has been peaceful, and i hope the rain hasn’t been too much for you. Today is ok, a bit of sun but looks like the rain will be back shortly. I don’t trust when the sun shows itself when the weather keeps predicting rain for coming days, I’m just not buying it 😂 i hope the rest of your day is a good one ☂️🌧️ (with hopefully more ☀️☀️).
My 60y/o narcissistic husband would rather hang out and party with his 19 y/o college daughter and her friends and be the "cool dad", than be a newlywed husband.
Then came the triangulation with him, the college daughter and me. I've had enough of this toxic family dynamic and am 3 months no contact. Looking forward to our court date for our divorce.
Now, he has plenty of time to enjoy his batchelor days. After she graduates, he can continue his partying with his 15 year old daughter when she goes to college.
Thank you Andrew for all of your support and encouragement. You have been a huge blessing in my life.❤
My ex-husband enjoyed partying with his daughter and her cousin there was something wrong my thoughts he wanted have a sexual relationships it appeared in my eye sight yes these demons are hell bound.
Yes, never forget what we've endured, so that we never go back. Thank you for the excellent work, Andrew.
when the narcissistic fog lifted, back in February this year. I remembered all the red flags.
So much love was coming my way, I thought that this only happens in the movies. All those over night work conferences.
The first time she flew out for one, I went into the airport with her, there I was looking around for her work mates. when she says to me everyone else is catching a later flight.
Dating apps… yuck.
Be very, very careful !!
Dating apps full of damaged people and narcs
@@JenGable-Justeson oh yeah no I never do that stuff. I made an account like 2 years ago that I deleted the same day and lemme tell you the amount of “matches” I’ve had to swipe no to because their bio and descriptions just scream “class-a narcissists”. Everything is better IRL
@@JenGable-Justeson don’t need to tell me, I stay tf away from those death traps 🪤
Nasty I would never.
“Sometimes it’s your friends, that keep your enemies updated. Be careful”. I read this somewhere recently ,
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The narcissist I was “friends” with is now aging horribly and it’s a very sad, pathetic thing to see.
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My NEX has gotten really heavy, and he is so self-conscious about it that he will not smile because he feels like it makes his face look fatter. That was the last time that I saw him a year and a half ago. Plus, he drinks heavily, smokes a lot of cigarettes, and I think is probably still doing cocaine. It's only a matter of time.
I’m in the rainy Carolinas too! Thank you so much for another great video. You have no idea how much your videos are helping me to heal. I’m three months into no contact and healing more every day after two years with a man I thought was the love of my life. Boy, was I wrong. It’s a lot to process. Namaste, Andrew!
Thank the Almighty God you did not get married, 2 years is time lost. But short compared to others misery
I ruminate regularly...still....one of the worst behaviours I received after betrayal was the silent treatment...I struggle with that....I also feel angry with myself, why didn't I challenge him more. I was frightened to say anything to him, I didn't want to upset him 🤷 despite his cruelty!! I have detached completely from that demon man forever. Andrew he is the ageing ageing (double)narcissistic psychopath 🤔😏
Thanks Andrew same week same year for the discarded relationship d day in 8 weeks permanently removed from my life freedom from being controlled and thanks for all your content over the past 4 years really appreciated 🙏
Welcome..🙌🙏💜💯😌
Hi Andrew….Additionally…I have journaled the last two months…and documented each and every slight interaction…which has been reduced to two minute phone calls twice a week…I don’t feel guilt or shame because my blood pressure has come down and my GERD is gone….im at the pinnacle of indifference…I think you have to reach your own breaking point to kick them to the curb….i just don’t understand how at the age of 94 my mother doesn’t see that she needs me more than I need her and her best behavior should be shown….but she just can’t because she is who she is and can’t change her authentic narcissistic self….
( this was a two part comment…)..and my 97 year old father, her flying monkey has to continue to kiss her rump….he set this dynamic up for himself and it’s too late for him….but at 72….its not too late for me….
I have a friend, my age ,who is also dealing with a 98 year old narcissist mother….
We compare notes daily…but she is teathered because she needs her inheritance….i don’t..thank goodness.
Thanks for your support and guidance….youre a true blessing!
Welcome..😌💯💜⛰️🙏
Hope she actually gets that inheritance,,she is so waiting for😮many times things changed way in the past,she better be careful I would find a way to see that will.., I remember reading about a parent who left everything to the not so nice children,the ones who was not there for them ,,the person who was caring for them hand n foot was left nothing,a last knife to the jugular...she stuck it to her.
@@MattyNelson-rs3ik Absolutely! I know someone who experienced this so unless you have your own updated, notarized copy of the will all bets should be off! Talk is cheap and if the said person cannot produce PROOF that you will inherit it's time to WALK and live your best life. Hurry now, life is short.
Love the Carolinas. Rain or shine. 😊
Always said” I made mistakes, their was only one man that didn’t “
My coworker has now flip-flopped and the fake nicey-nicey faucet is back on. I've been tripped up by this before! They can seem "so normal" at times! But the point is....NO!! They are NOT this facade. They ARE that ugly being who turned on us and made us question our sanity.
Great advice! It is easy to put all of this in the past and open yourself up to having the same thing happen again. Not necessarily with the same person but falling in the same trap. I sometimes feel like this and tell myself it was not so bad. Another reason I keep listening to Andrew daily.Thanks for the video Andrew!!
Welcome..😌💜💯🙌⛰️
I asked my friend , how could that have happened? How could a person treat his wife, my children and my parents and lie to all of us including his family. Including all of the women he had and not feel sorry? The answer was very matter of factually. He has no heart. The heart is missing and perhaps they are born that way. I feel sorry for him now. I feel sorry for everybody who has been touched by this person. Thankyou for your teachings.
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Thank you Andrew for doing everything you do for your community 🙏 stay stronger and more blessed 🌹🌺👨👩👧👦🌺🌹
I had to include forgiveness. She wasn’t a bad person the narc thing was hard wired in and with all of the counseling and self help all of the focus was on me. Well after all of this about 14 months of no dating I’m not sure if I’ll ever bother again.
I will always remember what happened.with the narcissist, how baffled, drained, hurt & betrayed I felt. I will also remember because I will stay educated and aware of narcissism and maintain boundaries
I have to keep reminding myself of how bad i was treated. Also so i don't go back in the hoovering NOR to rescue them when their world falls apart!!
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Yes! It was bad! They don’t change! Who will rescue you? 🙏💜💐
They didn't care about me and they didn't love me. It was hard to accept.
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It’s a hard thing to accept for sure.
Yes, we have to go through in order to get out. I prayed to God to take me out of this relationship. He didn’t get me out-He got me through. Amen.
“Is not accepting the truth, cause we will never accept it. Instead, is all about embracing the facts and falling in love with the new and better version of yourself by taking action and “writing your own next chapter” Continue to love and doing good things for yourself and others. You are light keep on shining🌟
What woke me up, I would always offer him food and drink. I went to his place; he didn't offer me anything. Your videos are really helpful. I really appreciate them. Thank you, Andrew.
O, uau! Top sentence: they live for the moment, you live in the moment. Great quote. Thank you!
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I consider myself to be on a healing path, even with its twists & turns, despite being raised by a narcissistic dad & an enabler mom. Because I'm not crying my eyes out (everyday) whenever I think them. For me, after going no contact 3 years ago, this has been a big step toward radical acceptance.
You are a very wonderful person Andrew.
You have helped a great deal in my life
Great advice about journaling. One caution… you have to hide it and make sure they can never find it cause they will sneak into your stuff and read it.
Thank you Andrew!!!! You are the best!!! Love you so much!!
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Journalling is a good place to start.....and practicing gratitude for everything, big and small helps to heal your heart. Keep coming back to these videos..... I found Andrew and this channel within days of being discarded. I thank God for that.....2.5 years ago after 32 years of being married. Im not where i was and i thank God every day. Thanks Andrew for your commitment to this community. For anyone reading this, there is light at the end of the tunnel....hang in there! Be kind to yourself every day......keep moving forward and stay strong.....you will be ok!
Thank you so much. This resonates.
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5 yrs out and I’m still regaining more focus each day. The narc fog I was in was blinding. I completely lost myself. It’s so amazing to have this knowledge and more clarity every day, even after 5 years. No respect for narcs.
Thank you Andrew for your reassuring messages.
I have come a long way, in the middle of my divorce, I am trying to heal, and think sometimes what happened to me for 34yrs; he took 34yrs of my life. I trust that God will help me with my journey. Your videos have helped understand what these narcissists are and their behaviour.
I like how you encourage us all to move forward, thank you. 🙏
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Thank you. Struggling with the trauma bond - it’s hateful tbh 🌷
Love your Video. Just got out of a 35 year Narcisisstic Relationship six months ago, went into a Womens Refuge and filed for Divorce. He tried to unalive me twice in the last year. Having Therapy now and trying to Heal. But I still have text conversations with my ex who has turned 4 of my 5 adult children against me. I don't see my grandchildren. He tells me my children hate me which has made me feel suicidal. I feel so alone and feel I've lost everything. Guess am still trauma bonded. Trying very hard to hold it together and not go back. Thank you Andrew for your great insight into Narcissism.
Hang in there.Your children don't hate u and they will eventually realize the truth,I have been thru this after 33 yrs of marriage and a divorce.He is not worth u ending your life,nothing is .God loves u,don't give up!
❤We Love You! Just realized I’ve got a Narcie after 15 years;there’s a puppy involved (my beloved Willabean),&she’s being used as a weapon against me;tough road ahead,but,JESUS will see me through,as He always has❤!Seek JESUS,He loves you!
You can't make them love you when they dont!!!
💯 agree amazing real uplifting advice to elevate yourself into higher consciousness and self esteem, increased self worth and value. Need to break and renounce all negative toxic relationships.
Thank you Andrew 👏
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💗's and virtual hugs right back to you. Great clip...many thanx
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I always learn more in listening each day. It just dawned on me that the aging narcissistic sister has worn her childhood bracelet from around 1963. It is a tiny bracelet and is quite stretched to fit her older woman wrist. If, i didn't listen daily, I would not put the puzzle pieces into a full picture.
Thank you soo much. Its been 4 years for me. But I am nearly healed. Its been a tough road. But you can get through it. I have ❤ with your incredible videos. Thank you xxx
What keeps me sane is hitting the gym 3 times a week, and planning me exit.
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Move in absolute silence and stealth,tell no one,leave no stone of your escape unturned..😮
18:57 Correct is right!! Yes guys this is absolutely true and I've observed this myself with a narc. The audience shrivels up because people become wise to the narcissist. Some actually break free from the narcissistic fog. Like Andrew always says the narc eventually overplays their hand and in the process losses many people. They can no longer play the victim and people simply walk away and throw the no contact boundary.
and you know what guys just to add to this real quick--- this is also the reason why the narc is always on the hunt for new supply. Some people can see through the mask instantly and leave immediately so the narc can never hold on to quality or quantity numbers of people this is why they get so excited when they hone in on someone new.
"There's room for you" at the pinnacle of indifference. Thank you 💚
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Nearly at 200k subscribers!!
Well done Andrew ,keep spreading the awareness ❤️🥰🥳✨✨
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Over time I would ask myself if would have done it all differently. I don't know how I could have! Mine was waking up one day, saying, "I want out and I want out now!" I knew there was no looking back. I never regretted that I got out. He proved, through his actions before and during the divorcing stage that I did not make a mistake. Part of me wished I was making a mistake and that he might change. With each passing week I saw I did the right thing. It was painful to see that as he lost his family, he never showed any caring, regret or any slight change in who and what he was. That made for double grief in realizing I had been right, all along.
Better late. Now, you have a chance of a real life.and a good possibility of real love...
EXACTLY ! BEAUTIFUL !
YES.. Perfectly said and so very well and precisely articulated so clearly Andrew thank you..
Brilliant we are cutting right to the chase.. NOW & I LOVE IT !
I’m not taking it personally because their intentions are bad,it’s ashamed but it happened now I know
I have such deep shame for loving them and for trying countless times. I can’t forgive myself for having such low value in myself. I’m so messed up.
This resonates with my feelings today. I’ve been questioning everything today and so sad that I cried so much today. It’s so hard to heal. I want to contact him so much.
I did take notes to remind me what he was doing, like tearing up the grass I planted on the side of the house because he said I planted weeds. I have photos.
I truly needed this today. Thank you for knowing what’s going on in my head and so many others here.
I’m healing but there’s broken glass along the way. I am self isolated and that’s been healing. I wish so much I could unsee what I have seen. I’m not looking for anyone. I pray that perhaps God will send someone somehow to me, but I don’t think I can trust anyone
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Hi Andrew, you are such an inspiration. You actually save lives. Hope you’re aware of this. All what you said, I’ve gone through! It’s in the past way in the past with me. It’s as if you were by my side and witnessing the whole. Thank you. I love you! You’re a beautiful person inside and out. ❤️
Absolutely! Otherwise you go back and forget what they did. I quesrioned for 13 years. And that's why we stay. Not anymore! Thank you!!! Shells like themselves
God bless you Andrew! I spent 5 years trying to escape an abusive relationship and found your channel this past winter. Your words empowered me to make a jump and leave without support or knowing my next moves. It was the best decision I’ve ever made. Thank you for existing. Please continue your amazing works.
God bless everyone! ❤
Wise words, Andrew. Thank you for the love you put into this community 💕.
I return my love and gratitude to you.
Enjoy the rainy weekend 🥳
Btw I like the rain too 😊
Everyone, be well and safe., self-compassion,
disconcernment, healing, work.❣️
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Watching you everyday makes me stronger than yesterday. I love you Andrew. Your videos makes me realize what I was dealing with without knowing it. I'm now recognizing what I've been through (gradually). But it showing me facts. Thank you so much. I hope you're having a great day. May God bless you 🙏 ❤.
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35 years in; 24 years out. I just attended his memorial service, for our children, and was left thinking was he really that wonderful. How is it I didn’t experience it that way. Was I the problem? Don’t stop repeating the truth to yourself. Thank you, Andrew for your clarity.
I MUST remember what I did, said, how I reacted. I MUST remember what they did, said, and how they reacted. I MUST remember, I MUST learn, I MUST carry with me, I MUST move on. Unfortunately someone thinks I've lost my memories, not understanding that it's crystal clear.
"Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it." (George Santayana)
Thanks Andrew ❤
Im also having a rainy season from South Korea and im loving the rain ❤
I do remember what happened it has made me a stronger person and reinforced my senses with new narcissists.
Thank you Andrew, You are very precise, when I listen to you I will think you’re talking about me. Thank you. Bunch for a great job you’re doing.