burnout! money! david! drama! - what’s been going on??
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- Опубликовано: 11 сен 2024
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So i did one of these back in the beginning of the year, just a classic little sit down life update, and i thought it might be nice to now before autumn do like a mid-year update: money, burnout, david, work, life, stress, just what has been going on, and what things have gotten better or worse, since back in january.
I talk about:
- all about burnout
- being overworked
- money stress
- signing book deals
- going home to sweden
- summer ideas
- reaching goals
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I started a PhD program last autumn and after 6 months of adjusting I decided to start a project that I call 'I don't care'. I will still do everything that I need to do, I will just care less which equals I will stress less. This is huge for me, I'm overstressing too much on every task, and every time at the end turns out it was pointless
I hit the same wall in my grad program this past spring, and right as I about to lose my mind with self-induced stress, I lost a family member suddenly. I requested a brief leave of absence from my program so I could grieve, but, due to...basically administrative reasons, my LOA ended up needing to be 4 months. I told myself I'd take the extra time off school to work on creative stuff. I ended up doing next to nothing beyond my ~10 hour a week volunteer gig. I didn't realize I needed the give my entire brain a break and it took a sec to forgive myself for being "unproductive." I'm starting school again in a couple of weeks. I'm letting go of the 4.0. It's been a fun run, but it's not worth the overwork I gave myself just to prove I'm good at this. I'm gonna do fine and I'm gonna enjoy my education more. I hope the "I don't care" project gives you what you need for school. Academic stress is its own unique flavor and everyone needs to find their own way to manage it. I feel relieved to have found a mindset that works for me and I hope you experience the same!
I hope project ‘I don’t care’ serves you well! 🤞 💫
Thank you for standing against genocide. I am not Palestine myself but it so nice to see humanity united from all over the world ❤. So thank you
OMMMMMMMMMMMMG !
Jenny, thank you for being so realistic. In a world where everyone is talking about becoming a millionaire with 5 numbers passive income before their 30s, I find your presence so inspiring and refreshing because it is realistic. We should stop feeling bad that we can only afford a normal life and not millionaires life. ❤❤❤❤❤❤
I’m doing very well and am very lucky…and just turned 60 yesterday, so on the grand scheme of life, I am grateful. ❤😊
Happy birthday! wonderful to hear!
Happy birthday!!! Hugs from Northern California
I think you can be very passionate about things and also practice detaching more from the outcome.
Exactly 👍
Yes, please, on publishing process.
coming up :)
yes yes yes!! I'm super interested in that too! 🙂
Book Yellowface was actually super informative about publishing😄
I love love love that you use the word Creative to describe yourself. I'm a very 'artsy creative person' but have never felt comfortable calling myself an artist. Creative feels so much more rounded.
I had "can't go go work" but quit before any bad body health issues level burnout in 2022 and I finally started to feel a bit like myself. I've also been taking iron supplements, my levels were inside the range but on the very low end.
Advice: Don't make it a matter of success or failure. Just learn to enjoy the process as an end in itself. Then if failure looms, just stand back and analyze it without emotion to help you in future. In case of success, enjoy.
I started getting panic attacks again after several years and it scares the crap out of me. Super scared to not be able to work and pay my bills which just makes it worse. The world is insane, i wish society could just slow the f down and that people could be kind to eachother. Kram från Sverige ❤️
Leaving a little comment for the Algo + the Mustards' mortgage!🙃 At 41, not having a home or a retirement account means that I don't have the luxury of "not caring" and going on chill mode. It's at times a lot (going through a very deep burnout cycle here), but I actually like having stakes so high--there's a meaning and a purpose to all this work + pain: if I can finish this marathon, my little family will be okay. What more motivation could you want? :)
Ahhh I’m 40 and in the same situation, glad I’m not the only one!
Hopefully the government will help older first time buyers!
@@chatterati the average home price (houses + condos) in my city is $1.2 million, and our debt-to-GDP ratio is 107% -- I'm absolutely not getting help for a that from a government that can't pay its bills. 😅 I'm building my online shop and then moving to France for a livable life. ❤🤍💙
It will be very interesting to show us how the book industry works and what's like to write and publish a book ❤
Yeah what’s the deal with the hardback/paperback thing
I definitely think theres a big difference between being "passionate" and "caring too much" when it comes to your career. In my opinion it can become a pretty considerable problem if you start to subconsciously tie your personal worth with your ability to meet your professional or career goals. Your performance at work does not equate to your worth as a person but I feel the more you let yourself get invested (especially when it dips into unhealthy obsession territory) with meeting your goals and accomplishing new and impressive things in your work life that if those things start to go sideways even a little it can massively derail your entire emotional equilibrium.
If you're too invested in your professional performance missing a goal can make you feel like a complete failure, and losing your job can make you feel worthless and hopeless (speaking from past experience haha). I think its important to continually ground yourself in your non goal oriented passions as well. Things you do for fun and people you see outside of work who you value. Keep touching base about things you believe add value to your life outside of their ability to bolster your professional career. Make sure you always remember that life can be an amazing experience whether youre meeting your career checkpoints or not.
Can’t afford burn out, I have to care for my husband of 44 years with Parkinson’s and dementia.
I hope things are going to be better for you and your husband 💕
I hope you find ways to have time for you ❤
@dinapawlow1622: l’m with you with a husband of 50+ years with dementia, but no Parkinson’s, thank heaven. Instead, I have a beloved adult daughter with Type 1 diabetes, hearing loss and Celiac disease, who is showing signs of Alzheimer’s. So tired. The “ golden years” my arse!
@@lindahind2205 I hear you. We are on the job 24/7. No holiday, no time off…nothing to look forward to, no joy, and no retirement. Sorry to hear about your daughter. So unfair when young people have health problems. sending you ❤️ love.
@@dinapawlow1622 : Thank you so much! I always feel guilty after revealing things, but I find myself blurting stuff to random people…it’s embarrassing. My daughter turned 50 in August and has Down Syndrome, making her more likely to have a range of health problems. She makes me smile every day and helps keep me sane. Wishing you the best as well. It’s a lonely journey.
I’ve always wanted to publish some of my writings. A video on the process would be so helpful! And your vacation sounds wonderful ❤
So interesting about the caring bit. I definitely care a LOT about a LOT. And after flirting with burnout for a couple of years and having a short affair with it as well I think I landed in passion and caring: hell yes, but not for everything and not all the time. I really need to pick my "battles" (I don't really want to call them battles, but can't find a better word for it). I can care a shit ton about my career, but I really need to mind taking a break from it even more if I do, and maybe not then also have a bunch of side thingies and hobbies that I also care 1000% for. Might sound a bit obvious but I really haven't lived like that until now. I guess for me it's very related to performance anxiety as well and really adding things to my weekly schedule that have zero performance too it.
Anyway, happy to hear your doing good. Ha en underbar semester!
I definitely want to hear book industry stories.
Dear Jenny, do you have a favorite food shop in Stockholm 🥦?
Thank you so much for being you. You’re a very inspiring woman. I would not miss a single video. This life update was a good piece of reflection.
Enjoy your vacation in our beautiful Sweden with David ☀️
Goodstore :)
Dear @@JennyMustard, thank you so much for sharing! I will definitely visit this place 🙌. Enjoy your vacation in Sweden with David ☀️
We live in the US and we're retired. We still have a house payment but can luckily easily afford our life. I feel you on the burnout. I have been feeling burned out on life-not in a suicidal way, just feeling like Cinderella much of the time and that is not what I want for myself. I continue to work on myself and my life. Great video. Veey interesting how authors get paid.
I have always been an extremely moderate person and am probably near the middle on the 'caring' spectrum, likewise on the 'feelings' spectrum, I've never really been over-the-top excited (or devastated) about anything I've ever accomplished... and I'd just like to say, its not the way to be. Be passionate, be excited, be devastated, and then be ecstatic again!
I've seen a lot of homeowners talk about mortgage rates going up due to the interest rate creeping up. I'm curious though, my interest rates are fixed for 10 and 20 years (split mortgage forms). Is it not possible to get fixed interest rates in the UK and US? Or do/did people gamble with a flexible rate hoping that it would go down even further/remain low?
I’m interested to know more about the juicy book industry stuff :)
Thank you for speaking up against the Genocide on Palestinians.
I am interested in knowing the book publishing details
You are delightful and insightful. I appreciate pondering such things as aspirations and failure. I too, struggle with finding the right balance for my overall well-being. Yet I do think you touched on the perfect elixir earlier when you expressed gratitude. Like you, I am wired to dream big and be relentless, so I think strengthening our gratitude muscle will help us ride out the inevitable lulls or the disappointment. Many thanks for the thoughtful content.
Jenny, another question to ask yourself when you are passionate about something is what are you willing to give up to get what you want. Just a thought.
I think regarding “caring more” or “caring less” depends on the stage of your career and also whether you’re self-employed vs not. I’ve certainly been on both spectrums and it’s not a static thing (many other factors)
Ultimately it comes down to whether the job you’re doing is aligned to your personal interests / passions? Is it what you do giving you a sense of growth, excitement, joy, reward (this can be either financially or emotionally)…?
It’s also about “what” you spend your time on, given that we all only have 24hrs a day. By caring less could mean you’re freeing up more time to do what truly brings you joy.
There’s no right or wrong answer - just do what’s best for yourself 😉
I am grateful for your willingness to speak humanely. I too am someone who feels things deeply and thus cares wholeheartedly about the various projects/assignments I work on.
What language do you and David speak when you’re alone at your home?😊
So nice to hear how you find the balance between contentment with money and your lifestyle and still having dreams that are options for the future.
Especially in the influencer world where it often seems to be about consuming more, more, more and going bigger, bigger, bigger....
I've tried the caring less route and it genuinely made me depressed. I'm just not wired to do things half heartedly. When I do I start questioning the purpose of it
Thank you for sharing your experience selling your books! I'm currently writing my first novel and would love to see a video of how the whole process was for you :)
Would love to watch a video about all the juicy publication details! ❤️❤️
If anyone is struggling with money and/or work, the following may help:
*debtors anonymous
*underearners anonymous
*workaholics anonymous
Please do a video about book industry!
Two cats and one dog! It’ll be a great time 😍😂
I Love your Content and I love your Style . I am not Palestinian myself but thank you for standing against genocide.
I know what you mean with regard to the ongoing situation in the middle east. It's a very surreal reality check. it makes hard to even enjoy simple things like a beautiful day out for example. Knowing there are people the entire world seem to have have abandoned/advocate to be annihilated.
You have more discipline than I do I keep writing of course work on other stories whilst I wait to get inspired. Hard when it's a topic I am not familiar with. I stopped writing for 20 years and only started poetry again in the last year or so. Hard when you have health issues hampering your progress and life got in the way. I tried something else creative for a while but it failed in the end and decided to go back to writing. I like your frank humour and honest reflections thanks for that. I am considering self publishing as tired of being at mercy of publishers as most tell me it's nearly a lottery to get published by any well known publisher. You are lucky you have a supportive partner and audience. Hope you two have a lovely holiday :)
I used to care a lot about the things i do and the things i want, but not anymore because i felt so heartbroken, i've been working my ass off my hole life and nothing ever works for me, i just can't afford to care anymore, it hurts so much
For me I think the caring needs to correlate with passion/love. For instance if you don't love what you work with but put your heart and soul into every minute of it you will not last very long (giving much without getting enough back). So now when I think just ok of my job but not more than that I also need to lower the caring bit consciously to not be burntout in 2 mins. But with a passion project I can allow myself to care and work harder because I also love it as therefore can stand more of the pressure it brings 🤗
I'm currently reading Okay Days. Would love to hear about publishing process!
Yes Jenny please more about your Author life and stuff xxx
Everything is just so expensive!
Would love to see a video about the ins and outs of book publishing!
Fresh (French Press) coffee is a vital part of both work and pleasure! It's conducive to calm and relaxation in my view.
yes please to all the writer, publisher, how it works content!
14:49 your friend is employing a stoic philosophy. i do as well, in the way that i always do my best within the limits that keep me sane & the outcome has never disappointed me. in fact, i do quite well despite "not caring" -i think it's more of drawing a line so that work doesn't control the individual. we are much more than our job
If I preorder your new book and then move before it comes out, will I be able to update the shipping address?
I just got back from my holiday in sweden, and it's just gorgeous! Those lakes... I fell in love! 😍 also it's so peaceful and calm... Wish you a really nice holiday, take a goood rest!
I think about loving the process and not the outcome. Care less about the outcome because you’re so satisfied by the process. I think it actually makes me more productive and more successful, because you don’t get the lows from the bad outcome and you keep working and progressing with the good outcomes. Best of both world for me.
Back to watching your videos again. I forgot how your videos make me feel inspired to look at my life and really evaluate where I am, how I am doing and where do I want to go. Really enjoyed this video.
I totally understand the need for "caring less" otherwise one is too exhausted for other life tasks. However I think this is a big problem for all of society. Since everybody works so hard to keep economy rolling, everyone is too exhauseted to opt for change and to engage in extracurricular projects. This way a society will never make real progress...
I'm getting married this year also finishing my masters so life is been really stressful. Money is really tight right now, something i wonder if spending a lot of money on the wedding was worth it. I try to stay positive and grateful because not everyone has the privilege of spend in a huge party and also i'm almost finished with my career so i 'm happy. But doing everything at once is stressful and i'm so tired
interesting! i care a lot, but try to not take myself too seriously and i feel like that allows me the space to make more mistakes. since i've adopted this mindset, i feel like i've been more succesful. before i cared and weighed every decision so much that i ended up taking more action. so i feel like now i'm in the sweet spot. I'm also not that ashamed to ask questions, because i don't mind how people perceive me. And yes, please talk about all things novel related, i'm super interested!
would love a video on the juicy industry stuff !
I loved you shared a bit about the book publishing process! thank you
nice to hear any details regarding writing, publishing, etc
Can you please make more videos about feminism
Jenny I feel like you really need to read this book the Perfectionist's Guide to Losing Control by Katherine Morgan Schaffer (in reference to the caring too much/caring too little point) - changed my entire perspective on it, that being a 'caring too much' person, especially a female person, is not a bad thing! As long as you learn to harness it well...
Thank you for sharing your thoughts and struggles. I completely understand the restless, overworked mind feeling. Trying to create better habits myself. If you can make a video about book deals, I'd love to learn more about it.
great idea :)
I’d like you to share more juicy details of the publishing process since I myself work for a publishing house in Russia. 🙃
You are so lovely Jenny! thank you so much for your videos, your thoughts and good taste.
15:22 yes please do a video about the process of publishing.
thank your for the update Jenny. I would love to know more about getting a book deal :) . As I grow older, turning 50 next year, I have been more like your friend with work. Just keep it going, doing my work good but not caring toooo much. Though I would love to grow my RUclips channel and see what that could bring me. So maybe switch caree one time? Well, let's see about that. Sweden right now is great, 25 degrees :) . So not autumn jet even if we are sniffing on it. Welcome back to Sweden for a bit :) . Kram Linda
Being real. Very cool. Thank you.
Thanks Jenny for another lovely video. Would love to hear more about the book publishing process and getting a deal etc! :)
I'd love to know how to publishing works. I write myself as well but I do not have connection for publishing any of them.
THE WORLD NEEDS PEACE!! Then people find peace and can keep going on with their work making this planet a better place to live for us all including mother nature...
Lovely fashion….the green dress is so you!
LOVE YOU JENNY
I love these updates and appreciate your candidness! I think as far as caring too much about work, I come from kind of the other end - I work in scientific R&D, and while there is creativity, a lot of the job is technical skills and repetitive tasks. in that kind of environment, I often find it really difficult to care *enough* about work. the research I'm part of is important, but I don't find my job energizing. so I'd say it's certainly possible to care too little! (I'm working on getting a different job outside of R&D for a bit to recalibrate haha)
I think the trick is to take breaks, that can allow us to go fullheartedly after.
Thank you for mentioning the violence/genocide. I hope you guys meet Owen Jones. He should have you on. It is sad to see the state of the world in 2024. Humanity is very slow at learning. And as long as we don’t regress! Wishing you a wonderful time in beautiful Sweden.
Thanks so much for this video! To me it's fascinating to hear people can consciously decide to 'care less'😅🙏
Thank you ,beautiful video , as always.
Yes, please, make one video about your experiences with the publishing industry and your first book.
I think is all about balance and pay attention to yourself ❤ lovely video ❤
Really love your blouse, where is from? 1:00
Publishing intrigues me, yes please 😁.
tell us about the book behind the scenes! I’ve been dreaming about becoming a novelist since I was a kid
Hi Jenny! I'd absolutely lOVE that video on the book industry and how to get published if you're not a nepo baby x
I'd like to hear about the book publishing industry
I guess it depends on how often we fail versus succeed!
I hope your mortgage gets paid fast! :)
Enjoy your trip back to Sweden! I care too much usually, yes.
You are the shit Jenny. Wishing the best. ❤
please do a video about all the juicy book industry stuff
Your hair has grown so long since that time on the podcast when you suddenly had your sassy short cut! wow
Hi Jenny. I'm not an author, but 2 of my friends are!
And I'd very much like a video on your book journey
love your videos
I am curious about why you write on a "grey sheet" in your Word. Is that a technique you have or some preference?
Yesss do a video of publishing!
❤❤❤
So much good insight in this video
Thanks Jenny Mustard!
Huuuuuugs and take your time! Enjoy everything as you can!
PS yes please talk more about the book industry
Where did you get the green shirt?
thank you for standing up against genocide! 😘
💗💗💗
I adore your stylish videos. Thank you. Being over twice your age I imagine, I have some experience with passions and power-glides. I express my passions/callings whole-heartedly. When they fade or drop dead, I accept that life has switched gears and I don't try to conjure up a calling that isn't arising from the depths of life. No pushing and no pulling. Surrender is my way and listening to the body is the fundamental method. That isn't for everyone; well, hardly anyone. It requires radical trust and there are no guarantees. This way of living conflicts with the popular idea of imposing one's will ie. making choices.....
Jenny, can you please, please tell me, where you got that beautiful blouse/dress from? Greetings from Germany ♥️
Hej Jenny, an interesting book on "all the thinking" and caring, I'd highly recommend Dr. Amy Johnson's book "Just a thought". Enjoy!