My dad actually managed to survive a hippo attack, but it was definitely by pure luck. He was on a camping safari and got up in the morning to take a sunrise pucture. While he was adjusting his camera settings, he tilted the lens down and saw a hippo charging him. He was between it and the water, which is a sure way to anger one. He sprinted and managed to get behind and acacia tree. The hippo chased him around it, but because they don't have the best turning radius, my dad was able to stay just out of reach. Then, one of the camp cooks got up to make breakfast and realized what was happening. He yelled to distract the hippo and then shimmied up one of the spikey acacia trees when it charged him, giving my dad enough time to sprint back into his tent. So yeah, don't bother hippos, in or out of the water. And if you do, hope there's a tree.
"Don't look a gorilla directly in the eyes or show your teeth." This is why babies cry when you smile at them or stare at them for too long. They're literally stuck still in Monke mode until we teach them to be human.
@@hollowtrappedinaelevator320 The afternoon rays penetrate the coniferous leaves and fall directly onto my face. They force my eyes to unfold, and I stare at my palms, still painted crimson from disciplining the infant. Instantly my mind floods with regret, but I try my best to discard it, knowing that my actions were necessary in order to preserve the great legacy that is mankind. It is too early, I must rest some more so that I will have the strength to carry out my nightly duties under the flourescent stars. As I drift into the subconscious realm a faint call echoes in the distance. It is a memory of my mother’s voice, weeping as she disposes of my newborn siblings. “There must only be one,” she cries softly. Only one...
I work with geologists from around the world. One I worked with was from Canada and worked for the Provincial government of Alberta. Her job was to helicopter up to the headwaters of streams and hike down taking water samples periodically. SHE did this alone. I asked if she had a gun jokingly and she replied yes....she was issued a 38 special revolver with +p rounds. I asked if that was enough to take down a bear and she laughed and said "no silly, the gun was to take my life before the grizzly killed me".
My dad was out camping with his boy scout troop when he was a kid and a bear cub ran straight through their campsite. Dad saw the bear cub yelled "Everyone scatter" (because mama is usually not far behind) only to realize he was the only one left in the campsite and everyone else had already ran.
Your dad is still the hero of this story because he was the only one looking out for his friends, everybody else just noped out without the slightest twinge of conscience X^)
My aunt did survive a hippo attack. The hippo literally bit their boat in half while my aunt her partner and their guide jumped off. Luckily it was more interested in chewing the boat, so they could get to the second boat right behind them and drive away. My aunt was the only one injured - two fingers of her left hand got caught on something when she jumped into the water. She got incredibly lucky a second time an could actually keep both these fingers. All she has today is an impressive scar.
My dad was approached by a brown bear in Siberia when he was camping with his friends. It wasn’t really aggressive, but still tried to chase people away from the food so it could eat the leftovers. They managed to quickly get inside their car (bear even tried to open it) and my dad pressed a car honk, which scared the bear and it ran away. It was over a 35 years ago, but my dad is still really scared of bears and has nightmares about meeting them. Sometimes he even starts to yell at these imaginary bears at night in attempt to scare them, but only scares the s//it out of my mom 😂
"Don't pee around a tiger, it's a sign of disrespect" I'm sorry but if there's a tiger in deletion range, chances are I'm pissing myself. I'll see you at the gates
I've ran into bears several times while hiking here in Canada. Two scariest... 1. Hiking beside a narrow river and right across it was a grizzly eating berries. It startled me, but probably heard me for quite a while. It just watched us walk past, thankfully. 2. West Coast Trail. I was in a crappy mood and walked ahead of my group when I came face-to-face with a black bear, no more than 3 metres apart in a little clearing. We both stopped. I started talking gently, trying not to crap myself or panic. We both backed up slowly. As soon as it moved away 3 or so metres the bear turned and ran. I just stayed there, leaning against a tree, waiting for my friends. Never left the group again. It was also on that trip that I learned that cougars will hunt otters. Saw some tracks that I thought were a mama and babies going down to the ocean, and when I told the Native guy who ran the ferry he enlightened me as to what the tracks were most likely. That's also when I found out otter and cougar tracks look a lot alike.
When I was very young (maybe four years old), I was picking wild blueberries with my dad, somewhere in the vicinity of Huntsville, Ontario. We were in a broad granite clearing with just a few taller bushes. About twenty minutes into the picking, we got near one of the bushes and a large black bear stood up on the other side of it - maybe five feet away. My dad said: "How's it going, bear?" in an even tone of voice. We backed slowly off, the bear backed slowly off and, when we got to opposite sides of the clearing (perhaps 100 feet apart), we both went back to berry picking. This particular bear was a prime-looking chonky boi, who already had a good layer of fat on him, and a calm, confident demeanour. I'm massively thankful that it wasn't leaner and more protective of its food source, or more jittery. In either case, we'd have had a much less productive day of berry-picking. 🤕 It's worth noting that this is going back a few decades, when we were still burning garbage in open pits, and bears were used to being in close proximity to humans at the dump, etc. Habituation is dangerous because it makes bears more willing to take risks in relation to humans - but it also made us far less scary to them. Nowadays, I carry bear spray like any rational human being. Never had to use it; hope I never do.
Imagine being stalked by one of these animals and the only thing you can think of is this mans voice telling you to say hi to your ancestors for him 😂😂😂
@@skylinefan4184 guns are no help. These animals can take it. Thats why they use much larger special guns to take them out and loads of bullets. I’m a nurse not a vet but humans and these large beats are not the same
I don’t remember this but my family used to tell me this story all the time: When I was about 2, my parents/grandparents took me to a zoo, and there were some Hyenas in a cage with a railing a few feet away. Apparently I was enamored with them and didn’t want to leave. I was told that they were cackling back at me for about 10 minutes before the keeper ushered us away for their “feeding time”. My Grandparents would always say that I had a connection with them. It wasn’t until I got older, and learned that Hyenas cackle when they see something they want to hunt/eat, that I realized: they didn’t like me, they though I was a juicy snack. When I told my family about this new info, they looked a little shocked. I just think it’s funny
You lucky, if your parents pulled a certain mom move from 2016 Cincinnati zoo you would probably be in heaven while the hyenas got to devour your body and life.
My dad knew a guy who was attacked by a grizzly on Vancouver Island. He curled into a ball and it not only tore his backpack off but ripped the skin of his back off too exposing some of his organs. When he turned his head to see where it was it ripped half of his face off leaving the skin hanging and removing an eyeball. It eventually lost interest and the man hiked like this for over a mile to a logging road where he was picked up by another man several hours later. This was in the 70’s and the man actually lived. He was just surveying for a new logging road but the grizzly wasn’t even having that. 🇨🇦😬
@@CountryLifestyle2023 bro if u think polar bears get scared by something charging ur wrong polar bears literally sre one of the animal species that actively hunt humans if u charge itll put u in ur place by destroying ur head
You’re right. I grew up in moose and grizzly bear country. Moose aren’t afraid of anything including people, grizzlies OR wolverines. And I’ve seen grizzlies back down from wolverines. With their cubs nearby. Moose also have the “miserable old man syndrome” even when they’re young or cows.
Here in Canada too. I was taking a good friend on a canoe trip, and he saw his first moose - a cow feeding on water lily roots in a shallow river mouth. A moment later, a male with small antlers emerged from the woods at the water's edge and tried to a approach her. I don't know if the male was a suitor who didn't know it wasn't time (this was the beginning of autumn, but well before the start of the rut) or maybe a teenager who was overstaying his welcome with mom, and she didn't want him raiding the fridge. Long story short: Ms. Moosey had that same "miserable old man syndrome," and she wasn't havin' it. She saw him off with a flurry of kicks and bellows - so my friend's first meese became his first moose-fight. I've seen them do the same to black bears, small vehicles and, in one memorable case, to about thirty tourists who were asking for it.
If its black: Might get away with it a good fight If its brown: Might get away with it by being a pussy and lay down If its white: Might get away with it by having the best trip youll ever have and for the first time seeing the light
It's depressing to know that a lot of your options here are to just die, but it's also reassuring to know that these are some of the world's top animals meaning that they are some of the strongest on their species. Still Hella scary though, thanks 4 the vid dude.
Bro the jokes you make like "humans were smart enough to send a man to the moon but a chimp will send you to the news" something like that bro im tariffed and laughing my ass off 😂
Bring a shotgun or High powered rifle at least (last resort is knife but then again if you reach this point, like what he said you probably won’t live anyways)
Depends if your gonna waste your time and shoot the bear, bring anything, it won’t work lel. If you want to listen to hood nature and use the gun on yourself before the bear reaches you, a pistol or any small firearm will do. Cus the mobility will make sure the bullet reaches you quickly enough
That "don't run" part is REALLY important. I remember a long time ago reading a biography of an animal trainer and he talked about how the instinct to chase and kill things that run is on the level of reflex. He had a lion that was as friendly as a puppy around him, then one day he had to hurry somewhere and left just a little too fast and found himself on the ground. Pretty much any animal with sharp teeth and eyes at the front will 100% respond to a fast retreat with an even faster attack, and honestly may not even have control over it.
Yeah, it's crazy how little known this is. I was with my service dog and we found a cat after class. Stray cat, we have them ALL OVER campus, but this one was super tame. Well, I was cautious because a stray cat tried to attack my last dog a couple years ago, but I gently let my dog close. She was excited, but she at least tried to stay calm because the cat was calm. Well, I guess some people got scared that something would happen and _forced_ the cat away. This spooked the cat and caused it to run. Nearly threw me off my feet when my dog tried to bolt after it. All predatory animals, even the tamest ones like a young golden doodle who's never killed a thing bigger than a beetle in her life, have that instinct.
True, never run, I never have and there are much better chances of survival if you stand your ground qnd face the animal. It has worked for me when encountering dogs. Can't say I've been confronted by any other animals
@@Thawhid I know. ;-; We don't have cats at home, since my last one was stolen. She gets so few opportunities to meet with felines. I love them so much.
This is facts...im a long distance runner and jog twice a and the same dogs that I pass everyday twice a day chase after me everytime I run by them EVERYTIME but when I walk they submissive asf. It's their nature.
They can’t depending on the tree. Their bodies are not designed for throwing down trees per se, the tree would have to be on a particularly unstable soil.
@@RaHELLaable You know what is interesting? Armadillo shells are bulletproof and in fact one Texas man was hospitalized after a bullet ricocheted of the animal
My boy I can't express how much your content helps me mentally every day your channel and true facts channel are amongst my favorites keep doing what u doing
Don't forget that tigers are vengeful. There was a Russian hunter who stole a tigers kill so the tiger started tracking him. When the hunter woke up, when he stepped outside of his cabin there were tiger prints everywhere. Eventually the hunter and tiger came face to face and the hunter shot the tiger. So naturally the tiger continued tracking him and eventually game ended him
Sharks are for tourists and bedtime stories. Tigers are the deadliest large predator, period. There are about 2500 Shark attacks recorded in the last 500 years, and the most kills one ever racked up that we know of was 6. Tigers have killed about 373,000 since 1800, and ONE killed 438 people in a couple of years. I think Casual ought to do a show on them..... if he hasn't already.
@Hyper Speed actually it would, the nail biting suspense as a silent and powerful hunter stalks him throughout the movie, the desperation when asking everyone for help, bro, the emotions and suspense would make it a lit movie, if done right.
My mom actually survived a moose attacking her without getting hurt! She was hiking in the forest and happens upon a mamma moose and her baby and she climbed up a bolder abd had to stay there for HOURS until the moose lost interest and she could leave. So all in all she was very lucky
I'm avoiding hiking, camping, safaris, the Amazon, the Sahara, Australia and the oceans. People where I'm from aren't the least bit interested in dancing with the devil in these places or with these activities.
Damn, this guy is just fun to watch, inspired by channels like this I started my own channel. Already got many topics but also want some suggested topics.
Me seeing a moose 10ft away while camping as a little kid: "Oh wow, a moose, it's beautiful, that's so cool, damn it's big." Me remembering this: "Goddamn, I'm lucky I'm still around today."
I guess in some species the young have a petting pass. There was a comment around somewhere on a trip to an Australian Zoo. A little kid was left unsupervised by his or her parents and wondered off to the bird's exhibit. Turned out that same day somehow a Cassowary got out and the kid unaware about the power of the Death Emu, went up and pet it. The bird didn't attack, but people were shouting at the kid to get away from it. So yeah in this case it pays to be small and cute.
@@paleface171 reminds me of when I was a very little kid (still a toddler) I was always pretty small for my age... anyway my parents bought a bunch of geese from an auction house and they were HUGE and I was always scared of them and they would always chase me around and I was absolutely terrified and would run away crying...one day my escape wasn't so well executed because I tripped and fell... apparently they had no nefarious intent because once they finally caught up with my they all decided to sit on me like I was a giant egg.... Apparently they thought that I was just a weird looking gosling...anywho long story short I've loved geese ever since 🤦🤣
one tip: when chased by a polar bear you should throw pieces of clothing away. Polar bears are huge ADHD animals and will stop to sniff at the clothing. If that doesn't work at least you'll be frozen to death before you're cut to ribbons
@@natebrown90 Hmmm yeah, see I would agree this would work on grizzlies and black bears. But a polar bear will stop at the sound, and still run you down anyway. The clothes thing, I believe could work. I don't know how polar bears' sense of smell works but if it stops and decides it wants to smell your dirty ass clothes, you better hope your stinky pits entertains it or else you're going to cease existing.
Fun fact: my old middle school is so close to the zoo that the zoo and the school share a fence...with the tiger section. Because of this the fence is tall af all the way around the school and has a shit ton of barbed wire on it just incase. You can walk on the side walk on your way their and see the exhibit. Luckily theirs also alot of growth and some trees as extra protection but then again it's a tiger so...
@@bartudundar3193 true, we’re so dominant that we drove megafauna on every continent we expanded into to extinction(Africa was the exception because we evolved there so those animals evolved to survive among humans)
@@magiv4205 It’s actually kind of a handicap. The reason we left the trees is because Africa was becoming a dessert and there weren’t enough trees to live in. We got hunted easily by land predators until we learned to make spears and evolved better bodies for running
As someone who grew up in the mountains, we had a joke about how to tell the difference between a black bear and a grizzly bear. "Kick it as hard as you can and shimmy up a tree. If it's a black bear, it'll climb up the tree to maul you. If it's a grizzly bear it will knock the tree over and then eat you."
Haha, we were taught "the idea grizzlies cannot climb is a myth. If the tree is big enough to support their weight they can climb it. And if it isn't, they'll just knock it down."
"How to survive a cougar attack: first you want to avoid happy hour at Applebee's, that's when they're most active and most dangerous. Now on to the cats..." Absolutely priceless and so smoothly delivered.
I'll never get zombie stories with animal corpses that were left on the scene as if they were torn apart by zombies. What's a group of zombies going to do to a moose, chew on it with blunt teeth and scratch it with broken nails? If anything, a moose or a bear in a zombie movie should have sick action scenes like they're Dynasty Warriors characters comboing a horde of zombies.
"a moose should have sick action scenes like they're Dynasty Warriors characters comboing a horde of zombies" This has to be one of the best Adult Swin cartoon pitches i have ever seen, please make this into reality, like a fucking moose obliterating a hoard of zombies
whoever you heard say "make yourself look bigger" for a bear attack was talking about little black bears. Once I was sitting outside my motel room and a bear walked up behind me, and I stood up fast to turn around and see what it was and scared the shit out of that poor bear, he didn't even know I was there and I was 3 feet above him on a raised deck, he ran like the wind. For a black bear being loud and looking bigger does dissuade them, just not with a grizzly.
This man is hilariously funny the way he comes up with these words and forms them into facts has me rolling especially at the moose part omagosh he is too much🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂I always said someone who can be serious and funny at the same time cAn be the most dangerous people walking this earth u be having a whole important conversation with them and they'll turn around and lighten the mood with jokes
I know this seems like a joke but what he’s doing is REALLY helpful. The amount of ppl I see every year in national parks tryna pet a moose is way too much so him spelling out how dangerous these animals are is great.
@Rkaale 123 yup there was the Benadryl challenge and the tide pod challenge and apparently at one point there was a “set yourself on fire” challenge but I have to do more research on that
"How to avoid a cougar attack: First off avoid Applebees at happy hour because that is when they are most active and they are most dangerous." I just can't. I laughed so hard I started coughing.
I live in an area with mountain lions, and the only attack in my lifetime was when a malnourished, underweight female attacked a 6yo (the kid’s injuries were relatively minor). They have to be literally starving to risk attacking people, and even then, it went for someone who weighed less than a Costco sized bag of dog food
I’ve actually been “attacked” by one. I got lucky and heard it coming and turned around and he B-lined it right. I was real upset with my dog for not noticing first lol
I remember when my Chihuahua ran across the street to challenge a grizzly sized Deutscher Schaferhund and ran away screaming lol I should've brought popcorn.
it's pretty rare, yup. most predators stay away from people unless they're desperate or learned to associate humans with food. which is very comforting, until someone decides it's a good idea to feed the gators 💀
Years ago a mountain lion wandered down the mountain into my hometown and mauled three people and a dog, after it was stopped they discovered it had lost its teeth due to age and disease, it was starving and couldn't properly eat what it killed.
I died when you said Pray to your gods and than included Tom Brady in the list of gods🤣 I’m a Viking fan die heart since I’m from Minnesota, But I am kind of sad that Tom Brady just Retired yesterday
Meanwhile on Animal RUclips: "How to survive a human attack:" "Even though they look like pimped up, hairless chimps, they are generally much weaker than their ape cousins." "They also have no kind of armor, claws or sharp teeth to speak of which has turned them into natures biggest scaredy-cats." "That being said, humans rarely hunt alone and they can use a wide variety of hunting tactics which makes them really unpredictable." "Also humans are unholy freaks of nature because they can turn literally anything they see into your worst nightmare." "Give 'em as much as a pointy rock and they will turn their surroundings into something a drugged up horde of beavers, ants and bees couldn't come up with." "Whenever they go hunting on land, they like to use these wierd, shiny sticks that can chuck tiny rocks at you at speeds that would make any cheetah wet himself." "They even made some that can take down elephants!" "And when you're in the water, they're gonna hurl so many pointy sticks at you like they want you to break the record for 'worlds biggest sea urchin'." "Or straight up pull you out of the water and bash your skull in." "I've heard some carnivores say that you should growl at them or generally appear threatening because humans are such pushovers they will choose flight over fight 99.9% of the time, and while that works pretty well if you're facing one or two humans, a group of humans will fill you with more holes than a termite-ridden treestump." "As a land animal, your best bet is to run away in a zig-zag motion to throw off their aim. If you try and charge at them while they're in hunting mode, next thing you know you'll be hunting on the eternal steppes of the heavens." "Even though humans are capable of chasing you for miles on end and their bite can be just as infectuous as a hyena's, ever since they decided to stockpile their food like overzealous hamsters, they generally don't bother with that anymore." "They prefer to keep their prey at a distance. A single human will not fight you in melee unless he's absolutely braindead and if that's the case, put the rest of him where his brain is." "But if a hunting group of humans decides to Piper Parrot you, nothing will save you from being turned into their food, clothing or personal pleasure object."
“Nothing will save you from being turned into their food, clothing or personal pleasure object” not something I ever expected to read the last bit specifically which also makes me….. concerned for reasons I feel are obvious
"Whenever they go hunting on land, they like to use these wierd, shiny sticks that can chuck tiny rocks at you at speeds that would make any cheetah wet himself."
I remember when Iceland had our "year-of-polar-bears" where a record number (3-4) polar bears ended up floating on sea ice from Greenland. There was an interview with a young girl who lived on a farm. She saw something white by one of their fences and assumed some white plastic had come loose off of their hay rolls and gotten stuck on the fence so she went to go get it. When she was about 10-20m away she looked up and realised that she was actually looking at a huge polar bear eating some unlucky ducks. Hearing her explain that she had never ran as fast in her entire life gave me chills. She was damn lucky it had found something to snack on and was too tired and hungry to go after anything bigger than nesting ducks.....
10-20m is roughly 32.8 - 65.6ft for my freedom unit friends That's insanely close considering it could've blitzed her down in roughly 6-10 seconds if it wanted to at that range.
There’s a really famous photo of an elephant that was taken by a photographer as the elephant was charging towards him. He somehow survived the attack. This photo is probably one of the first Google image results when you look up elephant
_"...cause chimps can't swim."_
Well heck, neither can I!!
That sucks man, I always scape of animals swimming, because fortunately for me most animals I’ve encountered don’t swim.
But I mean- what if the only water near me has hippos or alligators in it?- I’d be one unlucky son of a bitch I’d tell you that
@@AroMangle I'll take the hippos or alligators, much more likely to end me quickly and not just tear off my face and junk.
@@Svenz0r hippos and crocodiles would be equally as painful
Grab the chimp drown the bitch fight the alligator and get THE FUCK outta there before the hippo murks you
"If all else fails, tell Kobe we miss him"
Bruh 😂😂😂
Your pfp is perfect for this
😂😂😂
We do miss him tho.
R.I.P koby
@@lifewiththemitchells4889 Damn you ain't even spell it right.
My dad actually managed to survive a hippo attack, but it was definitely by pure luck. He was on a camping safari and got up in the morning to take a sunrise pucture. While he was adjusting his camera settings, he tilted the lens down and saw a hippo charging him. He was between it and the water, which is a sure way to anger one. He sprinted and managed to get behind and acacia tree. The hippo chased him around it, but because they don't have the best turning radius, my dad was able to stay just out of reach. Then, one of the camp cooks got up to make breakfast and realized what was happening. He yelled to distract the hippo and then shimmied up one of the spikey acacia trees when it charged him, giving my dad enough time to sprint back into his tent.
So yeah, don't bother hippos, in or out of the water. And if you do, hope there's a tree.
If there is no tree in sight, don't pray, you are fucked
Bro, ur dad is one of gods favorites, no he is a god. How you gonna have that good of luck💀
So to survive a hippo you need someone else with you
@@greenshirtguy6220 pretty much
@@JimmyValmer0 gods favorite 😤💪👑
I know I'm late but that bear expression goes "if it's brown lay down if it's black fight back if it's white say goodnight" pretty accurate too
I just now typed that without knowing you even said this.
@@ZombieSler123 try to keep up😁
try and keep up maaate
No offense but it’s lie down.
@@ShikiKairagi ok you perfectionist
(I ain't trying to say that in a rude way)
Nature kids: Make yourself bigger!
School: Play dead!
College: Get aggressive!
This guy: *sign your will*
69 yeeee
@@kevinyoussef9821 now it’s 569 lolll
😂😂😂
Now it's 911
Almost 1k
"Don't look a gorilla directly in the eyes or show your teeth."
This is why babies cry when you smile at them or stare at them for too long. They're literally stuck still in Monke mode until we teach them to be human.
😂😂😂😂😂
M o n k e m o d e
Don't worry I'll fix em *GRABS WRENCH*
Me a Christian: fix them Now
@@hollowtrappedinaelevator320 The afternoon rays penetrate the coniferous leaves and fall directly onto my face. They force my eyes to unfold, and I stare at my palms, still painted crimson from disciplining the infant. Instantly my mind floods with regret, but I try my best to discard it, knowing that my actions were necessary in order to preserve the great legacy that is mankind. It is too early, I must rest some more so that I will have the strength to carry out my nightly duties under the flourescent stars. As I drift into the subconscious realm a faint call echoes in the distance. It is a memory of my mother’s voice, weeping as she disposes of my newborn siblings. “There must only be one,” she cries softly. Only one...
I work with geologists from around the world. One I worked with was from Canada and worked for the Provincial government of Alberta. Her job was to helicopter up to the headwaters of streams and hike down taking water samples periodically. SHE did this alone. I asked if she had a gun jokingly and she replied yes....she was issued a 38 special revolver with +p rounds. I asked if that was enough to take down a bear and she laughed and said "no silly, the gun was to take my life before the grizzly killed me".
Damn ...
I would bring a gun, to kill the bear. Seems more logical.
Considering they don't always bother to kill you before they start eating you... Good call.
Well hell she knows what she is doing
She sounds both smart and like she has a good sense of humor
My dad was out camping with his boy scout troop when he was a kid and a bear cub ran straight through their campsite. Dad saw the bear cub yelled "Everyone scatter" (because mama is usually not far behind) only to realize he was the only one left in the campsite and everyone else had already ran.
Oof
At least he lived to tell the tale.
Your dad is still the hero of this story because he was the only one looking out for his friends, everybody else just noped out without the slightest twinge of conscience X^)
If it's black: fight back
If it's brown: get down
If it's white: make peace with whatever God you care to believe in cause you're bout to see them.
Eh, too long.
Black: Fight Back
Brown: Lie Down
White: Goodnight.
if it's black: fight back
if it's brown: get down
if it's white: your chances of living are slight
Wow that makes sense with literally every genus. Great white shark, polar bear, etc.
@@juanjoyaborja.3054 sharks are actually friendly
@@savagesuace5230 You wouldn’t know. Some great white sharks are passive, others are very aggressive. Just like the ones in the USS Indianapolis.
“If a moose shows you the whites of its eyes you better stop doing what youre doing before he shows you the whites of the heaven gates”
Im dead
Rip
Yes. Yes you are.
Same
I heard don't mess with Moose but like damn-
@@calebtheman6446 just like you would be if this happened irl
My aunt did survive a hippo attack. The hippo literally bit their boat in half while my aunt her partner and their guide jumped off. Luckily it was more interested in chewing the boat, so they could get to the second boat right behind them and drive away. My aunt was the only one injured - two fingers of her left hand got caught on something when she jumped into the water. She got incredibly lucky a second time an could actually keep both these fingers. All she has today is an impressive scar.
My dad was approached by a brown bear in Siberia when he was camping with his friends. It wasn’t really aggressive, but still tried to chase people away from the food so it could eat the leftovers. They managed to quickly get inside their car (bear even tried to open it) and my dad pressed a car honk, which scared the bear and it ran away. It was over a 35 years ago, but my dad is still really scared of bears and has nightmares about meeting them. Sometimes he even starts to yell at these imaginary bears at night in attempt to scare them, but only scares the s//it out of my mom 😂
Damn talk about PTSD
Random guy: “I’ll be fine. It takes 20 hyenas to take down a lion.”
Yeah, but you’re not a lion.
Ooooh SHIT.
Sound like something Flight would say
That’s what I was thinking lol one hyena could run at least ten normal peoples fade
I'll be fine. It takes 20 hyenas to take down a lion.
Heard of a man who unsubscribed a Lion bare-handed from life, only to have a hyena pack render him past tense shortly after.
"Don't pee around a tiger, it's a sign of disrespect"
I'm sorry but if there's a tiger in deletion range, chances are I'm pissing myself. I'll see you at the gates
I'd say peeing on the tiger is more disrespectful.
Tell Kobe we miss him
@@midnightmosesuk Pissing on the Tiger is the ultimate chad move and will probably make it back off.
Lol
What's considered shutting yourself then? Cause I'd probably do that if I saw a tiger
5:14
“Built like a Toyota with the personality of Jeffrey Dahmer”
Had me cackling 💀
5:09
@@KitDoesThat Thanks-
@@GlitchyRed989 👍🏾
I've ran into bears several times while hiking here in Canada. Two scariest...
1. Hiking beside a narrow river and right across it was a grizzly eating berries. It startled me, but probably heard me for quite a while. It just watched us walk past, thankfully.
2. West Coast Trail. I was in a crappy mood and walked ahead of my group when I came face-to-face with a black bear, no more than 3 metres apart in a little clearing. We both stopped. I started talking gently, trying not to crap myself or panic. We both backed up slowly. As soon as it moved away 3 or so metres the bear turned and ran. I just stayed there, leaning against a tree, waiting for my friends. Never left the group again.
It was also on that trip that I learned that cougars will hunt otters. Saw some tracks that I thought were a mama and babies going down to the ocean, and when I told the Native guy who ran the ferry he enlightened me as to what the tracks were most likely. That's also when I found out otter and cougar tracks look a lot alike.
When I was very young (maybe four years old), I was picking wild blueberries with my dad, somewhere in the vicinity of Huntsville, Ontario. We were in a broad granite clearing with just a few taller bushes. About twenty minutes into the picking, we got near one of the bushes and a large black bear stood up on the other side of it - maybe five feet away.
My dad said: "How's it going, bear?" in an even tone of voice. We backed slowly off, the bear backed slowly off and, when we got to opposite sides of the clearing (perhaps 100 feet apart), we both went back to berry picking.
This particular bear was a prime-looking chonky boi, who already had a good layer of fat on him, and a calm, confident demeanour. I'm massively thankful that it wasn't leaner and more protective of its food source, or more jittery. In either case, we'd have had a much less productive day of berry-picking. 🤕
It's worth noting that this is going back a few decades, when we were still burning garbage in open pits, and bears were used to being in close proximity to humans at the dump, etc. Habituation is dangerous because it makes bears more willing to take risks in relation to humans - but it also made us far less scary to them. Nowadays, I carry bear spray like any rational human being. Never had to use it; hope I never do.
Imagine being stalked by one of these animals and the only thing you can think of is this mans voice telling you to say hi to your ancestors for him 😂😂😂
Unless you have a gun, any one of these animals would yeet you to the gates basically.
@@skylinefan4184 guns are no help. These animals can take it. Thats why they use much larger special guns to take them out and loads of bullets. I’m a nurse not a vet but humans and these large beats are not the same
@@whowhowho5036 I mean, I didn't specify which calibre guns but what about something like an Enfield?
@@whowhowho5036 how about slugs from a semi auto shotgun?
@@skylinefan4184 a bear can take that
I like how he speaks with such urgency as if he expects the person watching this is currently being attacked by a moose
This might be someone's last video as they click on the first video that looks like it could help
Imagine running from a moose while desperately consulting this video 😂 would not end well
That sounds like someone hasn't looked out the window
At least he's doing it right😁
A sincere thank you for the mental image of some idiot frantically trying to get the video to buffer while being stared down by a bull moose.
"Living is no longer your choice" caught me off guard 💀
I don’t remember this but my family used to tell me this story all the time:
When I was about 2, my parents/grandparents took me to a zoo, and there were some Hyenas in a cage with a railing a few feet away. Apparently I was enamored with them and didn’t want to leave. I was told that they were cackling back at me for about 10 minutes before the keeper ushered us away for their “feeding time”. My Grandparents would always say that I had a connection with them. It wasn’t until I got older, and learned that Hyenas cackle when they see something they want to hunt/eat, that I realized: they didn’t like me, they though I was a juicy snack. When I told my family about this new info, they looked a little shocked. I just think it’s funny
You lucky, if your parents pulled a certain mom move from 2016 Cincinnati zoo you would probably be in heaven while the hyenas got to devour your body and life.
"how to survive a cougar attack"
"First you wanna avoid happy hour at Applebee's"
I didn't see that one coming 😂
can someone explain that to me im dumbbbb
@@littlelarimar4955 Cougar is another word for older women(35+ish) attracted to younger men (like 18-25ish)
Hilarious lol
@@Grizzs okay ty but what about the applebee's part
dont got that where I live
@@littlelarimar4955 theres a lot of old people at applebees
moral of the story: do NOT reject humanity, do NOT become monke.
Why he said monkey's are like 8x stronger than a human
@@daemonzap1481 gorillas can lift 10x their weight
@Diesel patches Boring? Ha, the wild is many things but boring it isn't. It's tough, a real-world made for real men.
@Diesel patches Video games are fun at first but then become repetitive and boring. I want a challenge in life.
@Diesel patches ill box u mate, ill rek u
My dad knew a guy who was attacked by a grizzly on Vancouver Island. He curled into a ball and it not only tore his backpack off but ripped the skin of his back off too exposing some of his organs. When he turned his head to see where it was it ripped half of his face off leaving the skin hanging and removing an eyeball. It eventually lost interest and the man hiked like this for over a mile to a logging road where he was picked up by another man several hours later. This was in the 70’s and the man actually lived. He was just surveying for a new logging road but the grizzly wasn’t even having that. 🇨🇦😬
This man is really optimistic about our souls’ chances
How to survive all of these: always travel with someone slower than you that you won't miss very much.
Oh, really? after a chimp's done ripping their throat off they'll send you to heaven faster than Usain Bolt can run
@@iheartbacon76 HELL 😂
Nah when he done with your friend your goin be sprouting daisys
@@Tee1andonlee lol
Lmao i'm weak-
"A polar bear decides if you go home to your family or your ancestors"
words to live by
You can scare them off by charging at them. They approach, false charge. Or shoot at them.
@@CountryLifestyle2023 bro if u think polar bears get scared by something charging ur wrong polar bears literally sre one of the animal species that actively hunt humans if u charge itll put u in ur place by destroying ur head
Until a polar bear wants you to return to your ancestors, then you dont live anymore.
Words to live OR die by
or die by
He had me rolling 🤣🤣🤣🤣 love the way he educates AND bring hilarious lines
You’re right. I grew up in moose and grizzly bear country. Moose aren’t afraid of anything including people, grizzlies OR wolverines. And I’ve seen grizzlies back down from wolverines. With their cubs nearby. Moose also have the “miserable old man syndrome” even when they’re young or cows.
Here in Canada too.
I was taking a good friend on a canoe trip, and he saw his first moose - a cow feeding on water lily roots in a shallow river mouth. A moment later, a male with small antlers emerged from the woods at the water's edge and tried to a approach her. I don't know if the male was a suitor who didn't know it wasn't time (this was the beginning of autumn, but well before the start of the rut) or maybe a teenager who was overstaying his welcome with mom, and she didn't want him raiding the fridge.
Long story short: Ms. Moosey had that same "miserable old man syndrome," and she wasn't havin' it. She saw him off with a flurry of kicks and bellows - so my friend's first meese became his first moose-fight.
I've seen them do the same to black bears, small vehicles and, in one memorable case, to about thirty tourists who were asking for it.
@@adreabrooks11 😎👍
“it takes 20 hyenas to take down a lion!” yea thats the problem, you’re not a lion
It doesnt. It only takes 5
@@raptorjesus5870 with effort. 20 is a piece of cake.
Ahem ahem lion king
I mean, he's not lion.
I'm sorry
@@multiverseman4017 Its okay. That made me chuckle. Here, take this like.
Bears
If it's black: fight back
If it's brown: lay down
If it's white: see the light
In India, if it's black you're also dead.
Steve Olotu
In India, you get five hundred people and beat the bear to death with money.
If its black: Might get away with it a good fight
If its brown: Might get away with it by being a pussy and lay down
If its white: Might get away with it by having the best trip youll ever have and for the first time seeing the light
If it's white: Say goodnight
It’s actually
If it’s black fight back
If it’s brown get down
If it’s it’s white goodnight
It's depressing to know that a lot of your options here are to just die, but it's also reassuring to know that these are some of the world's top animals meaning that they are some of the strongest on their species. Still Hella scary though, thanks 4 the vid dude.
I have learned more about animals from this incredibly intelligent man in one video, than all my years in school.
“Humans can’t run from anything”
That’s cause we were built for long distance chases
*stares in hyenas running 30+mph for up to 15, miles*
@@kiddvandal91 Exactly! Spotted hyenas beat us at that, too!
We evolved but backwards
Devolution
@@kiddvandal91 yeah but we can sweat, hyneas can’t 😎
The expression is “if it’s brown, lay down. If it’s black, fight back. If it’s white, goodnight”
Don't lay down with a brown one either
@@justprimo2 did u watch the vid? at 8:54 he literally says if u come face to face with a brown (grizzly) bear, lay down
@@justprimo2 the “lay day” is essentially play dead*
Lay down was just a nice way to phrase it that makes the saying easier to remember
And you doing any of these can easily still lead to your existence warranty expiring 😂😂
Facts
Bro the jokes you make like "humans were smart enough to send a man to the moon but a chimp will send you to the news" something like that bro im tariffed and laughing my ass off 😂
“So how do I survive a polar bear or chimp attack”
Hood Nature: that’s the neat part, you don’t!
Bring a shotgun or High powered rifle at least (last resort is knife but then again if you reach this point, like what he said you probably won’t live anyways)
Depends if your gonna waste your time and shoot the bear, bring anything, it won’t work lel. If you want to listen to hood nature and use the gun on yourself before the bear reaches you, a pistol or any small firearm will do. Cus the mobility will make sure the bullet reaches you quickly enough
Me-.50 Cal solves everything!
@@SciRuler free trip to your family cemetery where,
Don’t forget the homicidal hippo
Hood Nature: "How to survive"
Also him 2 seconds later: "YOU'RE NOT GOING TO"
He's just telling the truth
Well he mostly teaching you that you are very stupid if you try to mess with nature
I’m sorry are we just gonna ignore the “they prefer to hit from the back- attack from behind” line 😭
when we're old and have to leave the earth, i'll still remember all i learnt from you🌟
That "don't run" part is REALLY important. I remember a long time ago reading a biography of an animal trainer and he talked about how the instinct to chase and kill things that run is on the level of reflex. He had a lion that was as friendly as a puppy around him, then one day he had to hurry somewhere and left just a little too fast and found himself on the ground. Pretty much any animal with sharp teeth and eyes at the front will 100% respond to a fast retreat with an even faster attack, and honestly may not even have control over it.
Yeah, it's crazy how little known this is. I was with my service dog and we found a cat after class. Stray cat, we have them ALL OVER campus, but this one was super tame. Well, I was cautious because a stray cat tried to attack my last dog a couple years ago, but I gently let my dog close. She was excited, but she at least tried to stay calm because the cat was calm. Well, I guess some people got scared that something would happen and _forced_ the cat away. This spooked the cat and caused it to run. Nearly threw me off my feet when my dog tried to bolt after it. All predatory animals, even the tamest ones like a young golden doodle who's never killed a thing bigger than a beetle in her life, have that instinct.
True, never run, I never have and there are much better chances of survival if you stand your ground qnd face the animal. It has worked for me when encountering dogs. Can't say I've been confronted by any other animals
@@VenomQuill people gotta ruin it smh
@@Thawhid I know. ;-; We don't have cats at home, since my last one was stolen. She gets so few opportunities to meet with felines. I love them so much.
This is facts...im a long distance runner and jog twice a and the same dogs that I pass everyday twice a day chase after me everytime I run by them EVERYTIME but when I walk they submissive asf. It's their nature.
Me: “So how do I survive being attacked by this animal?”
This dude: “That’s the neat part! You don’t!”
LoL soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo TRUE
Survival was never our choice
Im a firm beleiver of the 300 rounds of undisriminatory lead
I love the "Off yourself. Then that animal tchnically didn't murder you" take XD
The humans are an evolutionary failure comment was very accurate. You are NOT adapted for speed and pretty much everything else absolutely is
I’ve always been surprised on how friendly gorillas actually are
Hilarious and helpful at the same time, you earned a new subscriber =)
How to survive a hippo attack: Hope there is a strong tree nearby, they cant climb but might try to uproot a tree.
They can’t depending on the tree. Their bodies are not designed for throwing down trees per se, the tree would have to be on a particularly unstable soil.
Same with grizzly bears, but they will shake the tree.
@@RaHELLaable This is different though, grizzly bear bodies are capable of throwing down trees because they can get in two and are more agile overall.
@@rolandorodriguez4504 yeah, still i thought it would be interesting if I said it.
@@RaHELLaable You know what is interesting? Armadillo shells are bulletproof and in fact one Texas man was hospitalized after a bullet ricocheted of the animal
"If all else fails tell Kobe we miss him." Almost choked on my beverage.
beverage
Or meet him
Bruh😩
B e v e r a g e
Don't u mean D R A N K?
It's wild to me the amount of humans over dozens of thousands of years that found out that running away was the worst option.
My boy I can't express how much your content helps me mentally every day your channel and true facts channel are amongst my favorites keep doing what u doing
Don't forget that tigers are vengeful. There was a Russian hunter who stole a tigers kill so the tiger started tracking him. When the hunter woke up, when he stepped outside of his cabin there were tiger prints everywhere. Eventually the hunter and tiger came face to face and the hunter shot the tiger. So naturally the tiger continued tracking him and eventually game ended him
Best part is that man went around asking for help and ever one was. Hell no a tiger wants you dead i am not getting in between you and the tiger.
@Ken Fullman if the hunter drove away than the tiger will lose him
Sharks are for tourists and bedtime stories.
Tigers are the deadliest large predator, period.
There are about 2500 Shark attacks recorded in the last 500 years, and the most kills one ever racked up that we know of was 6.
Tigers have killed about 373,000 since 1800, and ONE killed 438 people in a couple of years. I think Casual ought to do a show on them..... if he hasn't already.
@Hyper Speed actually it would, the nail biting suspense as a silent and powerful hunter stalks him throughout the movie, the desperation when asking everyone for help, bro, the emotions and suspense would make it a lit movie, if done right.
@@johnwolf2829 you just said that the most kills one tiger has was 6, and then proceeded to say that ONE killed 438
My mom actually survived a moose attacking her without getting hurt! She was hiking in the forest and happens upon a mamma moose and her baby and she climbed up a bolder abd had to stay there for HOURS until the moose lost interest and she could leave. So all in all she was very lucky
@@lisatrappedmeinygsbasement848 your* you*
H⁹æ¾
I’m glad she got away safe!
Lisa trapped me in YG's basement send help telling someone to die isn’t quirky honey
I'm avoiding hiking, camping, safaris, the Amazon, the Sahara, Australia and the oceans. People where I'm from aren't the least bit interested in dancing with the devil in these places or with these activities.
@@MrMARCUS2503 just avoid planet earth itself, go to the moon. To mars, perhaps the sun?
Omg buddy you make my day, your creativity in description is phenomenal.
"If all else fails, tell Kobe we miss him" My man! This is why this channel is great.
“TELL POP SMOKE HIS ALBUM SLAPS” 🦹🏾♂️🦹🏾♂️🧙🏾♂️🧙🏾♂️😭😭
Its true
69 yeee
It does tho no 🧢 W💫💫
Time
👎🏾
Chimpanzees: "The CEO of black air force energy"
That killed me🤣
The oldest gang alive lol
FACTS BRO
Im the 666th like
🤣🤣🤣
Boy he lying the ceo of black Air Force energy is honey badger not chimp
Damn, this guy is just fun to watch, inspired by channels like this I started my own channel. Already got many topics but also want some suggested topics.
The opening for surviving a cougar attack had me "LOL." for real.
😂😂😂😂😯😆😆😆😆😆
5:30
Me seeing a moose 10ft away while camping as a little kid: "Oh wow, a moose, it's beautiful, that's so cool, damn it's big."
Me remembering this: "Goddamn, I'm lucky I'm still around today."
I did not see you as a threat
I guess in some species the young have a petting pass. There was a comment around somewhere on a trip to an Australian Zoo. A little kid was left unsupervised by his or her parents and wondered off to the bird's exhibit. Turned out that same day somehow a Cassowary got out and the kid unaware about the power of the Death Emu, went up and pet it. The bird didn't attack, but people were shouting at the kid to get away from it. So yeah in this case it pays to be small and cute.
@@paleface171 like a ferret
@@paleface171 reminds me of when I was a very little kid (still a toddler) I was always pretty small for my age... anyway my parents bought a bunch of geese from an auction house and they were HUGE and I was always scared of them and they would always chase me around and I was absolutely terrified and would run away crying...one day my escape wasn't so well executed because I tripped and fell... apparently they had no nefarious intent because once they finally caught up with my they all decided to sit on me like I was a giant egg.... Apparently they thought that I was just a weird looking gosling...anywho long story short I've loved geese ever since 🤦🤣
@@necrodancer8370 the implication that you are a moose and a dancing necromancer is awful...ly inspiring.
one tip: when chased by a polar bear you should throw pieces of clothing away. Polar bears are huge ADHD animals and will stop to sniff at the clothing. If that doesn't work at least you'll be frozen to death before you're cut to ribbons
making loud noises can help, bear bangers are a helpful tool
@@natebrown90 Hmmm yeah, see I would agree this would work on grizzlies and black bears. But a polar bear will stop at the sound, and still run you down anyway. The clothes thing, I believe could work. I don't know how polar bears' sense of smell works but if it stops and decides it wants to smell your dirty ass clothes, you better hope your stinky pits entertains it or else you're going to cease existing.
Carry an extra cloth so you don't freeze and have a gun in case it doesn't work
@@dnsl4176 lmfao the ending
Very reassuring 😅😅😅😅😅😅😅
Bro I love your content and really REALLY appreciate your sarcasm.. great work brother
Fun fact: my old middle school is so close to the zoo that the zoo and the school share a fence...with the tiger section. Because of this the fence is tall af all the way around the school and has a shit ton of barbed wire on it just incase. You can walk on the side walk on your way their and see the exhibit. Luckily theirs also alot of growth and some trees as extra protection but then again it's a tiger so...
it’s a miracle we even managed to get out of the cave
Well we have thumbs
@@bartudundar3193 true, we’re so dominant that we drove megafauna on every continent we expanded into to extinction(Africa was the exception because we evolved there so those animals evolved to survive among humans)
@@bartudundar3193 yeah we are op asf
It's a miracle we even managed to get down from the trees in the first place
@@magiv4205 It’s actually kind of a handicap. The reason we left the trees is because Africa was becoming a dessert and there weren’t enough trees to live in. We got hunted easily by land predators until we learned to make spears and evolved better bodies for running
"-This guy has the ability to let you go home to your family or go home to your ancestors." Man, what a line!!! :-D
😂😂😂 omg yess
😂
Noice😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
No seriously they’ll track you threw a blizzard😫
If you are fortunate enough to survive an elephant attack go ahead and play the lottery cuz you are a lucky motherfuker
I love how most of these is basically “you’re not gonna survive”😹
Yo this has to be best vid I’ve ever seen you make, I’m literally 💀 just from watching this 🤣😂🤣
As someone who grew up in the mountains, we had a joke about how to tell the difference between a black bear and a grizzly bear.
"Kick it as hard as you can and shimmy up a tree. If it's a black bear, it'll climb up the tree to maul you. If it's a grizzly bear it will knock the tree over and then eat you."
😂
I now wondering how many people would try this… being from a small city I now think I could have been one of the few to Actually do this.
If you're colourblind and don't intend on living.
Haha, we were taught "the idea grizzlies cannot climb is a myth. If the tree is big enough to support their weight they can climb it. And if it isn't, they'll just knock it down."
odd fact, people, bears and pigs will all eat each other, and all are omnivorous.
How to survive a bear: be a Russian
Russians are strong AS HELLLLLLL
How do you survive a Russian
@@kalebb1226 You don't
@@kalebb1226 offer them vodka
@@Jonnell01 they'll only be distracted for 30 seconds then it's game.
Thos is tge greatest channel on the net. I go to sleep listening to him. FUCKIN GREAT, BRUH.
This guy's narrative is absolutely amazing.
GET THIS GUY A NATURE SHOW
Yes
Its gonna turn out as shitty as any other show on TruTv or Adult Swim
Indeed
The only nature show I’ll ever wacth
Ig if your an idiot
"How to survive a cougar attack: first you want to avoid happy hour at Applebee's, that's when they're most active and most dangerous. Now on to the cats..."
Absolutely priceless and so smoothly delivered.
Absolutely 🤣🤣
Oh shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii......
Well bc they love to go to applebees
Mhm.
I did not knew what he meant
The cougar joke was Gooood 👑, thank you
The classical 🎶 😂- excellent choice for the content 💚
If it’s black, fight back
If it’s brown, lay down
If it’s white, *say goodnight* 😃
Yes
lol true
If it’s white get ready to see the light
Well for white bear you can run away and take off a shoe or piece of clothing because they have adhd and will forget so that's the only thing you have
What about pandas?
I'll never get zombie stories with animal corpses that were left on the scene as if they were torn apart by zombies. What's a group of zombies going to do to a moose, chew on it with blunt teeth and scratch it with broken nails? If anything, a moose or a bear in a zombie movie should have sick action scenes like they're Dynasty Warriors characters comboing a horde of zombies.
"a moose should have sick action scenes like they're Dynasty Warriors characters comboing a horde of zombies"
This has to be one of the best Adult Swin cartoon pitches i have ever seen, please make this into reality, like a fucking moose obliterating a hoard of zombies
Hmmmm your comment would actually be a good premise for a movie
Many animals could really destory a horde zombies easily
@@ForrwarrdMotion6904 as planned ;)
@@Abyssaracnis not resident evil or z nation
The ability to educate and make me laugh is profound 😂🤟🏾🤟🏾i love it here
whoever you heard say "make yourself look bigger" for a bear attack was talking about little black bears. Once I was sitting outside my motel room and a bear walked up behind me, and I stood up fast to turn around and see what it was and scared the shit out of that poor bear, he didn't even know I was there and I was 3 feet above him on a raised deck, he ran like the wind. For a black bear being loud and looking bigger does dissuade them, just not with a grizzly.
How to survive a Jess Frey attack. Just run
You're supposed to look bigger with grizzlies too not lay down they'll attack you
@@justprimo2 if it's black fight back, brown get down & white goodnight
@@justprimo2 sure that works until they stand up 10 ft tall and 4X your size and makes you look very dumb and soon dead
@@justprimo2 did you literally not watch the video my guy
This shit is why I hate those “naked and afraid “ type shows. You won’t catch me in the middle of nature without a damn rifle 😂
Rifle? Anything 60 feet within me that moves is a shotgun
fuck it, take the .50
@@gustavfrye2736 LMFAO
Yo u American?
Did you guys even listen? In many cases a gun won't save you but just piss the animal off lol
This man is hilariously funny the way he comes up with these words and forms them into facts has me rolling especially at the moose part omagosh he is too much🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂I always said someone who can be serious and funny at the same time cAn be the most dangerous people walking this earth u be having a whole important conversation with them and they'll turn around and lighten the mood with jokes
“Can’t play dead because pretty soon you won’t be able to play alive” 💀💀💀 this mans jokes are incredible
I feel Jacksepticeye said it best while playing Farcry Primal:
"It's like fighting an angry *BUS!"*
Oml, trueeeeee
He also once said “SPEED IS KEY!”
But those are elks not a moose, but both are probably unsurvivable
The Tall Elks lol as im currently playing primal
Link
Man you earned my subscription.😅
He tells us TRUTHS about these animals with humor 😂but he is SERIOUS ❤THANK U
“First of all, why would you put yourself in a position where you need to know any of this?” 😂😂😂
Its the ''Connect you to gods WiFi'' that got me dying
I know this seems like a joke but what he’s doing is REALLY helpful. The amount of ppl I see every year in national parks tryna pet a moose is way too much so him spelling out how dangerous these animals are is great.
They . . . they WHAT?!
Yep 2018-2021 I have realized that humans are one of the most degrading species of MONKE. We are actualy de-evolving.
How is that not natural selection? 🤦♀️
@@camronphillips6669 well I’m not surprise cus there is people on tik tok risking their lives for their two followers sooo
@Rkaale 123 yup there was the Benadryl challenge and the tide pod challenge and apparently at one point there was a “set yourself on fire” challenge but I have to do more research on that
Elephants release dopamine when they see people, like they are seeing a puppy. They think we’re cute.
I Absolutely Love This Man ⭐️🤓❤️
"How to avoid a cougar attack: First off avoid Applebees at happy hour because that is when they are most active and they are most dangerous." I just can't. I laughed so hard I started coughing.
“Now on to the cats.”
Same
Anyone have the address of the nearest Applebee's?
@@IamnotJohnFord 😂😂😂😂
I was Drinking a coke and literally shot it out of my nose.
"Don't play dead because pretty soon you won't be able to play alive."
This is why i followed you
I barked out a laugh at the cougar in a bar joke. That was a good one.
I live in an area with mountain lions, and the only attack in my lifetime was when a malnourished, underweight female attacked a 6yo (the kid’s injuries were relatively minor). They have to be literally starving to risk attacking people, and even then, it went for someone who weighed less than a Costco sized bag of dog food
I’ve actually been “attacked” by one. I got lucky and heard it coming and turned around and he B-lined it right. I was real upset with my dog for not noticing first lol
I remember when my Chihuahua ran across the street to challenge a grizzly sized Deutscher Schaferhund and ran away screaming lol I should've brought popcorn.
it's pretty rare, yup. most predators stay away from people unless they're desperate or learned to associate humans with food. which is very comforting, until someone decides it's a good idea to feed the gators 💀
Years ago a mountain lion wandered down the mountain into my hometown and mauled three people and a dog, after it was stopped they discovered it had lost its teeth due to age and disease, it was starving and couldn't properly eat what it killed.
You've obviously never been near a mother who felt her cubs were threatened.
I died when you said Pray to your gods and than included Tom Brady in the list of gods🤣 I’m a Viking fan die heart since I’m from Minnesota, But I am kind of sad that Tom Brady just Retired yesterday
You’re so funny! Love animals AND your vids!
"How to survive an elephant attack: scream"
I would do that even without advice most likely
Nope you misheard, he established there is no surviving an elephant attack. That's instant oblivion. There's just surviving an elephant.
I doubt you could piss an elephant off that much without really working at it.
Meanwhile on Animal RUclips:
"How to survive a human attack:"
"Even though they look like pimped up, hairless chimps, they are generally much weaker than their ape cousins."
"They also have no kind of armor, claws or sharp teeth to speak of which has turned them into natures biggest scaredy-cats."
"That being said, humans rarely hunt alone and they can use a wide variety of hunting tactics which makes them really unpredictable."
"Also humans are unholy freaks of nature because they can turn literally anything they see into your worst nightmare."
"Give 'em as much as a pointy rock and they will turn their surroundings into something a drugged up horde of beavers, ants and bees couldn't come up with."
"Whenever they go hunting on land, they like to use these wierd, shiny sticks that can chuck tiny rocks at you at speeds that would make any cheetah wet himself."
"They even made some that can take down elephants!"
"And when you're in the water, they're gonna hurl so many pointy sticks at you like they want you to break the record for 'worlds biggest sea urchin'."
"Or straight up pull you out of the water and bash your skull in."
"I've heard some carnivores say that you should growl at them or generally appear threatening because humans are such pushovers they will choose flight over fight 99.9% of the time, and while that works pretty well if you're facing one or two humans, a group of humans will fill you with more holes than a termite-ridden treestump."
"As a land animal, your best bet is to run away in a zig-zag motion to throw off their aim. If you try and charge at them while they're in hunting mode, next thing you know you'll be hunting on the eternal steppes of the heavens."
"Even though humans are capable of chasing you for miles on end and their bite can be just as infectuous as a hyena's, ever since they decided to stockpile their food like overzealous hamsters, they generally don't bother with that anymore."
"They prefer to keep their prey at a distance. A single human will not fight you in melee unless he's absolutely braindead and if that's the case, put the rest of him where his brain is."
"But if a hunting group of humans decides to Piper Parrot you, nothing will save you from being turned into their food, clothing or personal pleasure object."
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“Nothing will save you from being turned into their food, clothing or personal pleasure object” not something I ever expected to read the last bit specifically which also makes me….. concerned for reasons I feel are obvious
Bruh
"Whenever they go hunting on land, they like to use these wierd, shiny sticks that can chuck tiny rocks at you at speeds that would make any cheetah wet himself."
I was walking home from the store one night here in Alaska, and right across the street there was a moose. 💀
I'm so addicted to your videos.
"can't play dead because pretty soon you won't be able to play alive" is an undervalued line.
Ikr this one had me wheezing
💀
I remember when Iceland had our "year-of-polar-bears" where a record number (3-4) polar bears ended up floating on sea ice from Greenland.
There was an interview with a young girl who lived on a farm. She saw something white by one of their fences and assumed some white plastic had come loose off of their hay rolls and gotten stuck on the fence so she went to go get it. When she was about 10-20m away she looked up and realised that she was actually looking at a huge polar bear eating some unlucky ducks. Hearing her explain that she had never ran as fast in her entire life gave me chills. She was damn lucky it had found something to snack on and was too tired and hungry to go after anything bigger than nesting ducks.....
I think I would have shat bricks.
funny
10-20m is roughly 32.8 - 65.6ft for my freedom unit friends
That's insanely close considering it could've blitzed her down in roughly 6-10 seconds if it wanted to at that range.
@@Herocku Yeah, it's terrifying.
Thankfully it had already found food and didn't have the energy to go after her. She got really lucky that day.
@@Anna464 at least she wasnt you
"Built like a Toyota with a personality of Jeffrey Darmah"😂
There’s a really famous photo of an elephant that was taken by a photographer as the elephant was charging towards him. He somehow survived the attack. This photo is probably one of the first Google image results when you look up elephant
"Hyenas are weak. It takes about 20 to kill a lion!"
"Are you a lion?"
But I would be lion to you if I told you that you can survive an attack in one piece
@@khiyan_autistic what?
@@TheBluePhoenix008
"lion" sounds like "lying"
it's a word game
@@yoboikamil525 I thought it was a reference to One Piece the anime lmao
@@TheBluePhoenix008 My brain did that to me too at first 💀