Imagine being stalked by one of these animals and the only thing you can think of is this mans voice telling you to say hi to your ancestors for him 😂😂😂
@@skylinefan4184 guns are no help. These animals can take it. Thats why they use much larger special guns to take them out and loads of bullets. I’m a nurse not a vet but humans and these large beats are not the same
That "don't run" part is REALLY important. I remember a long time ago reading a biography of an animal trainer and he talked about how the instinct to chase and kill things that run is on the level of reflex. He had a lion that was as friendly as a puppy around him, then one day he had to hurry somewhere and left just a little too fast and found himself on the ground. Pretty much any animal with sharp teeth and eyes at the front will 100% respond to a fast retreat with an even faster attack, and honestly may not even have control over it.
Yeah, it's crazy how little known this is. I was with my service dog and we found a cat after class. Stray cat, we have them ALL OVER campus, but this one was super tame. Well, I was cautious because a stray cat tried to attack my last dog a couple years ago, but I gently let my dog close. She was excited, but she at least tried to stay calm because the cat was calm. Well, I guess some people got scared that something would happen and _forced_ the cat away. This spooked the cat and caused it to run. Nearly threw me off my feet when my dog tried to bolt after it. All predatory animals, even the tamest ones like a young golden doodle who's never killed a thing bigger than a beetle in her life, have that instinct.
True, never run, I never have and there are much better chances of survival if you stand your ground qnd face the animal. It has worked for me when encountering dogs. Can't say I've been confronted by any other animals
@@Thawhid I know. ;-; We don't have cats at home, since my last one was stolen. She gets so few opportunities to meet with felines. I love them so much.
This is facts...im a long distance runner and jog twice a and the same dogs that I pass everyday twice a day chase after me everytime I run by them EVERYTIME but when I walk they submissive asf. It's their nature.
My dad actually managed to survive a hippo attack, but it was definitely by pure luck. He was on a camping safari and got up in the morning to take a sunrise pucture. While he was adjusting his camera settings, he tilted the lens down and saw a hippo charging him. He was between it and the water, which is a sure way to anger one. He sprinted and managed to get behind and acacia tree. The hippo chased him around it, but because they don't have the best turning radius, my dad was able to stay just out of reach. Then, one of the camp cooks got up to make breakfast and realized what was happening. He yelled to distract the hippo and then shimmied up one of the spikey acacia trees when it charged him, giving my dad enough time to sprint back into his tent. So yeah, don't bother hippos, in or out of the water. And if you do, hope there's a tree.
"Don't pee around a tiger, it's a sign of disrespect" I'm sorry but if there's a tiger in deletion range, chances are I'm pissing myself. I'll see you at the gates
@@CountryLifestyle2023 bro if u think polar bears get scared by something charging ur wrong polar bears literally sre one of the animal species that actively hunt humans if u charge itll put u in ur place by destroying ur head
I work with geologists from around the world. One I worked with was from Canada and worked for the Provincial government of Alberta. Her job was to helicopter up to the headwaters of streams and hike down taking water samples periodically. SHE did this alone. I asked if she had a gun jokingly and she replied yes....she was issued a 38 special revolver with +p rounds. I asked if that was enough to take down a bear and she laughed and said "no silly, the gun was to take my life before the grizzly killed me".
"Don't look a gorilla directly in the eyes or show your teeth." This is why babies cry when you smile at them or stare at them for too long. They're literally stuck still in Monke mode until we teach them to be human.
@@hollowtrappedinaelevator320 The afternoon rays penetrate the coniferous leaves and fall directly onto my face. They force my eyes to unfold, and I stare at my palms, still painted crimson from disciplining the infant. Instantly my mind floods with regret, but I try my best to discard it, knowing that my actions were necessary in order to preserve the great legacy that is mankind. It is too early, I must rest some more so that I will have the strength to carry out my nightly duties under the flourescent stars. As I drift into the subconscious realm a faint call echoes in the distance. It is a memory of my mother’s voice, weeping as she disposes of my newborn siblings. “There must only be one,” she cries softly. Only one...
My aunt did survive a hippo attack. The hippo literally bit their boat in half while my aunt her partner and their guide jumped off. Luckily it was more interested in chewing the boat, so they could get to the second boat right behind them and drive away. My aunt was the only one injured - two fingers of her left hand got caught on something when she jumped into the water. She got incredibly lucky a second time an could actually keep both these fingers. All she has today is an impressive scar.
whoever you heard say "make yourself look bigger" for a bear attack was talking about little black bears. Once I was sitting outside my motel room and a bear walked up behind me, and I stood up fast to turn around and see what it was and scared the shit out of that poor bear, he didn't even know I was there and I was 3 feet above him on a raised deck, he ran like the wind. For a black bear being loud and looking bigger does dissuade them, just not with a grizzly.
My mom actually survived a moose attacking her without getting hurt! She was hiking in the forest and happens upon a mamma moose and her baby and she climbed up a bolder abd had to stay there for HOURS until the moose lost interest and she could leave. So all in all she was very lucky
I'm avoiding hiking, camping, safaris, the Amazon, the Sahara, Australia and the oceans. People where I'm from aren't the least bit interested in dancing with the devil in these places or with these activities.
"How to survive a cougar attack: first you want to avoid happy hour at Applebee's, that's when they're most active and most dangerous. Now on to the cats..." Absolutely priceless and so smoothly delivered.
I've ran into bears several times while hiking here in Canada. Two scariest... 1. Hiking beside a narrow river and right across it was a grizzly eating berries. It startled me, but probably heard me for quite a while. It just watched us walk past, thankfully. 2. West Coast Trail. I was in a crappy mood and walked ahead of my group when I came face-to-face with a black bear, no more than 3 metres apart in a little clearing. We both stopped. I started talking gently, trying not to crap myself or panic. We both backed up slowly. As soon as it moved away 3 or so metres the bear turned and ran. I just stayed there, leaning against a tree, waiting for my friends. Never left the group again. It was also on that trip that I learned that cougars will hunt otters. Saw some tracks that I thought were a mama and babies going down to the ocean, and when I told the Native guy who ran the ferry he enlightened me as to what the tracks were most likely. That's also when I found out otter and cougar tracks look a lot alike.
When I was very young (maybe four years old), I was picking wild blueberries with my dad, somewhere in the vicinity of Huntsville, Ontario. We were in a broad granite clearing with just a few taller bushes. About twenty minutes into the picking, we got near one of the bushes and a large black bear stood up on the other side of it - maybe five feet away. My dad said: "How's it going, bear?" in an even tone of voice. We backed slowly off, the bear backed slowly off and, when we got to opposite sides of the clearing (perhaps 100 feet apart), we both went back to berry picking. This particular bear was a prime-looking chonky boi, who already had a good layer of fat on him, and a calm, confident demeanour. I'm massively thankful that it wasn't leaner and more protective of its food source, or more jittery. In either case, we'd have had a much less productive day of berry-picking. 🤕 It's worth noting that this is going back a few decades, when we were still burning garbage in open pits, and bears were used to being in close proximity to humans at the dump, etc. Habituation is dangerous because it makes bears more willing to take risks in relation to humans - but it also made us far less scary to them. Nowadays, I carry bear spray like any rational human being. Never had to use it; hope I never do.
Bring a shotgun or High powered rifle at least (last resort is knife but then again if you reach this point, like what he said you probably won’t live anyways)
Depends if your gonna waste your time and shoot the bear, bring anything, it won’t work lel. If you want to listen to hood nature and use the gun on yourself before the bear reaches you, a pistol or any small firearm will do. Cus the mobility will make sure the bullet reaches you quickly enough
Me seeing a moose 10ft away while camping as a little kid: "Oh wow, a moose, it's beautiful, that's so cool, damn it's big." Me remembering this: "Goddamn, I'm lucky I'm still around today."
I guess in some species the young have a petting pass. There was a comment around somewhere on a trip to an Australian Zoo. A little kid was left unsupervised by his or her parents and wondered off to the bird's exhibit. Turned out that same day somehow a Cassowary got out and the kid unaware about the power of the Death Emu, went up and pet it. The bird didn't attack, but people were shouting at the kid to get away from it. So yeah in this case it pays to be small and cute.
@@paleface171 reminds me of when I was a very little kid (still a toddler) I was always pretty small for my age... anyway my parents bought a bunch of geese from an auction house and they were HUGE and I was always scared of them and they would always chase me around and I was absolutely terrified and would run away crying...one day my escape wasn't so well executed because I tripped and fell... apparently they had no nefarious intent because once they finally caught up with my they all decided to sit on me like I was a giant egg.... Apparently they thought that I was just a weird looking gosling...anywho long story short I've loved geese ever since 🤦🤣
I know this seems like a joke but what he’s doing is REALLY helpful. The amount of ppl I see every year in national parks tryna pet a moose is way too much so him spelling out how dangerous these animals are is great.
@Rkaale 123 yup there was the Benadryl challenge and the tide pod challenge and apparently at one point there was a “set yourself on fire” challenge but I have to do more research on that
one tip: when chased by a polar bear you should throw pieces of clothing away. Polar bears are huge ADHD animals and will stop to sniff at the clothing. If that doesn't work at least you'll be frozen to death before you're cut to ribbons
@@natebrown90 Hmmm yeah, see I would agree this would work on grizzlies and black bears. But a polar bear will stop at the sound, and still run you down anyway. The clothes thing, I believe could work. I don't know how polar bears' sense of smell works but if it stops and decides it wants to smell your dirty ass clothes, you better hope your stinky pits entertains it or else you're going to cease existing.
I once saw a documentary about a group of tourists and their tour guides getting attacked by a hippo. The guides were not off-course, the tourists were just there to kayak, and one lone hippo just happened to wander off and run into them. Two experienced guides died and a third barely escaped with his life; if they hadn't put themselves between their passengers and the hippo, there probably would've been more casualties. Almost thirty people in four or five kayaks just paddling down a river, and a hippo that got lost just decided someone had to die.
Yep, no amount of experience will save you when head to head in the territory of an apex animal wanting you dead. There’s a documentary of that happening with a crocodile guide who also had many years of experience. Grizzly man is another example
My dad was approached by a brown bear in Siberia when he was camping with his friends. It wasn’t really aggressive, but still tried to chase people away from the food so it could eat the leftovers. They managed to quickly get inside their car (bear even tried to open it) and my dad pressed a car honk, which scared the bear and it ran away. It was over a 35 years ago, but my dad is still really scared of bears and has nightmares about meeting them. Sometimes he even starts to yell at these imaginary bears at night in attempt to scare them, but only scares the s//it out of my mom 😂
As someone who grew up in the mountains, we had a joke about how to tell the difference between a black bear and a grizzly bear. "Kick it as hard as you can and shimmy up a tree. If it's a black bear, it'll climb up the tree to maul you. If it's a grizzly bear it will knock the tree over and then eat you."
Haha, we were taught "the idea grizzlies cannot climb is a myth. If the tree is big enough to support their weight they can climb it. And if it isn't, they'll just knock it down."
I don’t remember this but my family used to tell me this story all the time: When I was about 2, my parents/grandparents took me to a zoo, and there were some Hyenas in a cage with a railing a few feet away. Apparently I was enamored with them and didn’t want to leave. I was told that they were cackling back at me for about 10 minutes before the keeper ushered us away for their “feeding time”. My Grandparents would always say that I had a connection with them. It wasn’t until I got older, and learned that Hyenas cackle when they see something they want to hunt/eat, that I realized: they didn’t like me, they though I was a juicy snack. When I told my family about this new info, they looked a little shocked. I just think it’s funny
You lucky, if your parents pulled a certain mom move from 2016 Cincinnati zoo you would probably be in heaven while the hyenas got to devour your body and life.
If its black: Might get away with it a good fight If its brown: Might get away with it by being a pussy and lay down If its white: Might get away with it by having the best trip youll ever have and for the first time seeing the light
I live in an area with mountain lions, and the only attack in my lifetime was when a malnourished, underweight female attacked a 6yo (the kid’s injuries were relatively minor). They have to be literally starving to risk attacking people, and even then, it went for someone who weighed less than a Costco sized bag of dog food
I’ve actually been “attacked” by one. I got lucky and heard it coming and turned around and he B-lined it right. I was real upset with my dog for not noticing first lol
I remember when my Chihuahua ran across the street to challenge a grizzly sized Deutscher Schaferhund and ran away screaming lol I should've brought popcorn.
it's pretty rare, yup. most predators stay away from people unless they're desperate or learned to associate humans with food. which is very comforting, until someone decides it's a good idea to feed the gators 💀
Years ago a mountain lion wandered down the mountain into my hometown and mauled three people and a dog, after it was stopped they discovered it had lost its teeth due to age and disease, it was starving and couldn't properly eat what it killed.
Well I mean if you're right with Jesus... watching some of these videos make me want to confess though and get that feeling of being right with Dad. It's easier to think of death when there's nothing on your consciousness.
They can’t depending on the tree. Their bodies are not designed for throwing down trees per se, the tree would have to be on a particularly unstable soil.
@@RaHELLaable You know what is interesting? Armadillo shells are bulletproof and in fact one Texas man was hospitalized after a bullet ricocheted of the animal
I remember when Iceland had our "year-of-polar-bears" where a record number (3-4) polar bears ended up floating on sea ice from Greenland. There was an interview with a young girl who lived on a farm. She saw something white by one of their fences and assumed some white plastic had come loose off of their hay rolls and gotten stuck on the fence so she went to go get it. When she was about 10-20m away she looked up and realised that she was actually looking at a huge polar bear eating some unlucky ducks. Hearing her explain that she had never ran as fast in her entire life gave me chills. She was damn lucky it had found something to snack on and was too tired and hungry to go after anything bigger than nesting ducks.....
10-20m is roughly 32.8 - 65.6ft for my freedom unit friends That's insanely close considering it could've blitzed her down in roughly 6-10 seconds if it wanted to at that range.
It's depressing to know that a lot of your options here are to just die, but it's also reassuring to know that these are some of the world's top animals meaning that they are some of the strongest on their species. Still Hella scary though, thanks 4 the vid dude.
I'll never get zombie stories with animal corpses that were left on the scene as if they were torn apart by zombies. What's a group of zombies going to do to a moose, chew on it with blunt teeth and scratch it with broken nails? If anything, a moose or a bear in a zombie movie should have sick action scenes like they're Dynasty Warriors characters comboing a horde of zombies.
"a moose should have sick action scenes like they're Dynasty Warriors characters comboing a horde of zombies" This has to be one of the best Adult Swin cartoon pitches i have ever seen, please make this into reality, like a fucking moose obliterating a hoard of zombies
Bro the jokes you make like "humans were smart enough to send a man to the moon but a chimp will send you to the news" something like that bro im tariffed and laughing my ass off 😂
I like to think that for most of these animals, similar conversations happen but in reverse. “How can I survive human attacks?” “Act cute enough and they won’t want to attack. Other than that, you better hope it’s true that all animals go to heaven.”
"Sometimes they're sneaky but usually they're loud. You can almost always just run from them, they're slow as hell. Whatever you do though, don't threaten them. And don't retaliate, especially in a developed country. Humans are incredibly vengeful and will hunt you personally if you take one out, even if they had it coming."
The relentless delivery, the graphic presentations of how many things will kill you, the impeccable vocals. If I ever get killed by anything with weirder teeth than me, I want this man to come and laugh at my funeral.
7:14 Fun fact: That doesn't actually work. The whole trick of wearing a backwards mask was created in the early 1900s in an attempt to keep people safe from a man-eating tiger known as the Tiger of Champawat, who with a 436-person killstreak holds the Guinness World Record as the most prolific man-eating tiger in history. During her reign of terror, she would evade the Indian and Nepalese military patrols that were sent to hunt her, travel as far as 32 kilometres in one day in order to find people to eat, kill women and children in broad daylight, and actually scared the local population so much that people were afraid to go to work. She was finally shot in 1907 by legendary British hunter Jim Corbett, who found that the reason she put humans on the menu was because she had several broken teeth that prevented her from hunting her usual prey.
"In Sundarbans in West Bengal, where man-animal conflict is at its peak, fishermen and bushmen originally created masks made to look like faces to wear on the back of their heads because tigers always attack from behind. Wildlife experts say this worked for a short time but tigers soon realized it was a hoax and the attacks continued" - Times Of lndia article
@@bartudundar3193 true, we’re so dominant that we drove megafauna on every continent we expanded into to extinction(Africa was the exception because we evolved there so those animals evolved to survive among humans)
@@magiv4205 It’s actually kind of a handicap. The reason we left the trees is because Africa was becoming a dessert and there weren’t enough trees to live in. We got hunted easily by land predators until we learned to make spears and evolved better bodies for running
My dad knew a guy who was attacked by a grizzly on Vancouver Island. He curled into a ball and it not only tore his backpack off but ripped the skin of his back off too exposing some of his organs. When he turned his head to see where it was it ripped half of his face off leaving the skin hanging and removing an eyeball. It eventually lost interest and the man hiked like this for over a mile to a logging road where he was picked up by another man several hours later. This was in the 70’s and the man actually lived. He was just surveying for a new logging road but the grizzly wasn’t even having that. 🇨🇦😬
I can admit a Moose encounter was the most terrifying moment of my entire life! Was walking around my uncle's property at night when I saw a moose just giving me the " i will disembowel you if you come any closer" look. That was the longest 500 feet back to his house of my life! I still can't believe my pants remained unsoiled!
@@seewobble7048 no he was literally 4-6feet away when I saw him. I knew not to run so I just backed up slowly and headed back to the house which was about 500 feet away. I the Moose was that far away I wouldn’t have even cared because I wouldn’t have seen or heard him
@Harry64278 no he was 4- 6 feet away. The house I retreated to was 500 feet and he followed and stared me down the entire time I retreated. Like I said I can’t believe my pants weren’t full of piss and shit!😂😂
I'd 100% watch his video on the Darwin Awards featuring animals, the humor and creative wordplay would make those stories go from gold to Khazad-dûm mithril!
One of my sister’s friends was on a field trip to a nature reserve in South Africa when he was a kid. They were walking through this one area with a guide, but he got distracted by a rock or or something, and when he looked up everyone was far ahead of him. He tried to run to get back to them, but then he heard this noise in the bushes. It was a hyena, and then he realized that there were several of them standing near him making those laughing sounds. The guide had noticed he had fallen behind, so he had left the kids with the teacher and started to walk back when he saw the hyenas. There was nothing he could do, so they all just stood there for about 20 minutes…waiting. He said it was one of the scariest things he ever experienced, in part because no one could help him if the hyenas decided to go for him, and because the guide would only endanger them all by trying to scare the hyenas away or move past them. Eventually they lost interest and walked away, but man…he was so lucky!
@@BarManeNw3 Yeah, shoot one round and get a pack of 50 hyenas on your ass. Standing still and not causing their killer instincts to turn on from running away is the best choice.
Brian Blessed has said in several interviews that he survived a polar bear attack. It climbed into his tent and (understandably) startled, he punched the bear on the nose. It was apparently equally startled, because it ran away. I'm not sure whether or not this is true, but this detail of the account of his journey to the north pole has remained consistent over the years.
I don't think, you would ever be bare handed. even if you got there by mistake, you can easily find a stick, humans are not really that defenseless, like tf, we are apex predators, its true, we have become really soft, cuz we don't exercise as much as our grandparents, but the country where I live in, if you go to the villages, and even at the outskirts of cities, animal attacks like tiger, monkeys are very common, people know how to deal with them.
@@godfather7339 the problem with that is 1v1 against any of these animal with a stick is a good way to spell desperate. We hunted animals back in the days by throwing spears and numbers all the while keeping our distance and even then some of us still died, not 1v1 stick fight with a bear, tiger or an elephant with no experience. Also Tigers are ambush predators, they dont throw themselves in our face and maul us for a breakfast so idk how you know how to "deal with them". Monkeys are easier to deal with than bears, hippos and a lot of others.
Your channel is so great, i had to go back in time to watch more!!! Great job on everything from quick, accurate speaking to clips and stories ALL perfect with laughs❤❤❤ love Ya!!!
Fun fact: A man survived a Tiger attack by punching it as hard as he could in the nose, so if all else fails, swing for the nose or eyes, good luck not getting your hand bit.
Toward the bears “If it’s black, fight back” “If it’s brown, get on the ground” My saying: “If it’s white, don’t fight” Edit: If it’s white, let there be light
My boy I can't express how much your content helps me mentally every day your channel and true facts channel are amongst my favorites keep doing what u doing
There is this show on Natural Geographic called "Something Bit Me" and I've seen an episode where someone survived a moose attack, a polar bear attack, and there were two episodes that involved people who survived a hippo attack, two that survived cougar attacks, and one that survived a black bear attack. There were several that survived rattlesnakes, box jellyfish, and alligators. Quite an interesting show really.
Saw a brown bear once while on a hike to the summer cottage, when it looked at me I just made myself look bigger and walked back slowly. The bear went to stand on his back legs and just looked at me. After he was out of my vision I fkn bolted it.
One time I watched a whole family of black bears eating out of my garbage. At first I wanted to go out and chase them off, but then I decided to be nice and just leave them. The weird part is that somehow they opened the shed's sliding door to get to the garbage.
How to survive a grizzly near attack: play dead. It's good practice for when you actually die a couple minutes later. How to survive other stuff: you probably won't.
@Hyper Speed I was always told that playing dead makes it look like you died from a disease and thus aren't worth the risk of infection to eat. do I believe this? ehhh.....
@@wrongtime9097 when you play dead you need to play show like show that you started suddedly to die in agonising pain. or eat somthing and start making weird noises and die
@Hyper Speed Most grizzly attacks are not predatory, but territorial. so if you cease to be a threat they tend to leave you alone. However even a casual slap can still injure you greatly, so lying on the ground and playing dead is the most harmless you can be to it. Playing dead is also a confusion thing, for a wild animal, it either kills something, or finds something that is already dead. Running up to something and it just flopping on the ground without any physical interaction is not in their experience. And that makes them wary, and confused and cautious. Cautious enough to not see you as food, you may suffer a lethal disease or massive parasite infection, it is not normal for things to just drop dead so they are not sure what to do with that. Now if a Grizzly had already decided you were going to be it's next meal and you don't have bearspray or serious firepower on you. Playing dead may just buy you that confusion thing and survive. Or you were dead no matter what.
Speaking from experince with elephants, in 2009, I was attacked by a little 6 year old elephant in Thailand named Chompoo, because he got annoyed at me for taking a pineapple away from him(it wasn't his pineapple). Anyway, a few minutes into the worst beating I'd ever received(I as an amateur boxer at the time), I pissed myself. Turns out, an animal beating you to death with it's nose, is quite appalled by rubbing it's nose in unine soaked clothes. Long enough for people to grab you and drag you to safety anyway. So... yeah, to survive elephants, smell like a toilet.
Why would you take something away from a large, wild animal??? "It wasn't his pineapple" is the most obnoxious, Karen statement I ever heard. It's a damn fruit! Let the animal have it. I can't believe you thought you would school an elephant 🤦🏽♀️
Moose don’t know what Orcas are. This is because Moose & Orcas only meet in very rare circumstances (a Moose swimming in salt water through an inlet that an Orca happens to also be swimming in). Any Orca that a Moose sees would instantly murder it making it impossible for other moose to pass on knowledge of their existence.
@@takeda6516 more often than that. Moose dive up to twenty feet to eat seaweed. Along the coast in alaska, it's a not too rare occerance, and I've personally seen it twice when i lived in washington. Once was on an especially traumatic whale watching tour when i was 7. Can confirm, the moose looked scared.
Nature kids: Make yourself bigger!
School: Play dead!
College: Get aggressive!
This guy: *sign your will*
69 yeeee
@@kevinyoussef9821 now it’s 569 lolll
😂😂😂
Now it's 911
Almost 1k
Imagine being stalked by one of these animals and the only thing you can think of is this mans voice telling you to say hi to your ancestors for him 😂😂😂
Unless you have a gun, any one of these animals would yeet you to the gates basically.
@@skylinefan4184 guns are no help. These animals can take it. Thats why they use much larger special guns to take them out and loads of bullets. I’m a nurse not a vet but humans and these large beats are not the same
@@Myah234 I mean, I didn't specify which calibre guns but what about something like an Enfield?
@@Myah234 how about slugs from a semi auto shotgun?
@@skylinefan4184 a bear can take that
That "don't run" part is REALLY important. I remember a long time ago reading a biography of an animal trainer and he talked about how the instinct to chase and kill things that run is on the level of reflex. He had a lion that was as friendly as a puppy around him, then one day he had to hurry somewhere and left just a little too fast and found himself on the ground. Pretty much any animal with sharp teeth and eyes at the front will 100% respond to a fast retreat with an even faster attack, and honestly may not even have control over it.
Yeah, it's crazy how little known this is. I was with my service dog and we found a cat after class. Stray cat, we have them ALL OVER campus, but this one was super tame. Well, I was cautious because a stray cat tried to attack my last dog a couple years ago, but I gently let my dog close. She was excited, but she at least tried to stay calm because the cat was calm. Well, I guess some people got scared that something would happen and _forced_ the cat away. This spooked the cat and caused it to run. Nearly threw me off my feet when my dog tried to bolt after it. All predatory animals, even the tamest ones like a young golden doodle who's never killed a thing bigger than a beetle in her life, have that instinct.
True, never run, I never have and there are much better chances of survival if you stand your ground qnd face the animal. It has worked for me when encountering dogs. Can't say I've been confronted by any other animals
@@VenomQuill people gotta ruin it smh
@@Thawhid I know. ;-; We don't have cats at home, since my last one was stolen. She gets so few opportunities to meet with felines. I love them so much.
This is facts...im a long distance runner and jog twice a and the same dogs that I pass everyday twice a day chase after me everytime I run by them EVERYTIME but when I walk they submissive asf. It's their nature.
My dad actually managed to survive a hippo attack, but it was definitely by pure luck. He was on a camping safari and got up in the morning to take a sunrise pucture. While he was adjusting his camera settings, he tilted the lens down and saw a hippo charging him. He was between it and the water, which is a sure way to anger one. He sprinted and managed to get behind and acacia tree. The hippo chased him around it, but because they don't have the best turning radius, my dad was able to stay just out of reach. Then, one of the camp cooks got up to make breakfast and realized what was happening. He yelled to distract the hippo and then shimmied up one of the spikey acacia trees when it charged him, giving my dad enough time to sprint back into his tent.
So yeah, don't bother hippos, in or out of the water. And if you do, hope there's a tree.
If there is no tree in sight, don't pray, you are fucked
Bro, ur dad is one of gods favorites, no he is a god. How you gonna have that good of luck💀
So to survive a hippo you need someone else with you
@@greenshirtguy6220 pretty much
@@JimmyValmer0 gods favorite 😤💪👑
“If a moose shows you the whites of its eyes you better stop doing what youre doing before he shows you the whites of the heaven gates”
Im dead
Rip
Yes. Yes you are.
Same
I heard don't mess with Moose but like damn-
@@calebtheman6446 just like you would be if this happened irl
"Don't pee around a tiger, it's a sign of disrespect"
I'm sorry but if there's a tiger in deletion range, chances are I'm pissing myself. I'll see you at the gates
I'd say peeing on the tiger is more disrespectful.
Tell Kobe we miss him
@@midnightmosesuk Pissing on the Tiger is the ultimate chad move and will probably make it back off.
Lol
What's considered shutting yourself then? Cause I'd probably do that if I saw a tiger
"A polar bear decides if you go home to your family or your ancestors"
words to live by
You can scare them off by charging at them. They approach, false charge. Or shoot at them.
@@CountryLifestyle2023 bro if u think polar bears get scared by something charging ur wrong polar bears literally sre one of the animal species that actively hunt humans if u charge itll put u in ur place by destroying ur head
Until a polar bear wants you to return to your ancestors, then you dont live anymore.
Words to live OR die by
or die by
I know I'm late but that bear expression goes "if it's brown lay down if it's black fight back if it's white say goodnight" pretty accurate too
I just now typed that without knowing you even said this.
@@ZombieSler123 try to keep up😁
try and keep up maaate
No offense but it’s lie down.
@@ShikiKairagi ok you perfectionist
(I ain't trying to say that in a rude way)
"If all else fails, tell Kobe we miss him"
Bruh 😂😂😂
Your pfp is perfect for this
😂😂😂
We do miss him tho.
R.I.P koby
@@lifewiththemitchells4889 Damn you ain't even spell it right.
_"...cause chimps can't swim."_
Well heck, neither can I!!
That sucks man, I always scape of animals swimming, because fortunately for me most animals I’ve encountered don’t swim.
But I mean- what if the only water near me has hippos or alligators in it?- I’d be one unlucky son of a bitch I’d tell you that
@@AroMangle I'll take the hippos or alligators, much more likely to end me quickly and not just tear off my face and junk.
@@Svenz0r hippos and crocodiles would be equally as painful
Grab the chimp drown the bitch fight the alligator and get THE FUCK outta there before the hippo murks you
Random guy: “I’ll be fine. It takes 20 hyenas to take down a lion.”
Yeah, but you’re not a lion.
Ooooh SHIT.
Sound like something Flight would say
That’s what I was thinking lol one hyena could run at least ten normal peoples fade
I'll be fine. It takes 20 hyenas to take down a lion.
Heard of a man who unsubscribed a Lion bare-handed from life, only to have a hyena pack render him past tense shortly after.
I work with geologists from around the world. One I worked with was from Canada and worked for the Provincial government of Alberta. Her job was to helicopter up to the headwaters of streams and hike down taking water samples periodically. SHE did this alone. I asked if she had a gun jokingly and she replied yes....she was issued a 38 special revolver with +p rounds. I asked if that was enough to take down a bear and she laughed and said "no silly, the gun was to take my life before the grizzly killed me".
Damn ...
I would bring a gun, to kill the bear. Seems more logical.
Considering they don't always bother to kill you before they start eating you... Good call.
Well hell she knows what she is doing
She sounds both smart and like she has a good sense of humor
"Don't look a gorilla directly in the eyes or show your teeth."
This is why babies cry when you smile at them or stare at them for too long. They're literally stuck still in Monke mode until we teach them to be human.
😂😂😂😂😂
M o n k e m o d e
Don't worry I'll fix em *GRABS WRENCH*
Me a Christian: fix them Now
@@hollowtrappedinaelevator320 The afternoon rays penetrate the coniferous leaves and fall directly onto my face. They force my eyes to unfold, and I stare at my palms, still painted crimson from disciplining the infant. Instantly my mind floods with regret, but I try my best to discard it, knowing that my actions were necessary in order to preserve the great legacy that is mankind. It is too early, I must rest some more so that I will have the strength to carry out my nightly duties under the flourescent stars. As I drift into the subconscious realm a faint call echoes in the distance. It is a memory of my mother’s voice, weeping as she disposes of my newborn siblings. “There must only be one,” she cries softly. Only one...
"how to survive a cougar attack"
"First you wanna avoid happy hour at Applebee's"
I didn't see that one coming 😂
can someone explain that to me im dumbbbb
@@littlelarimar4955 Cougar is another word for older women(35+ish) attracted to younger men (like 18-25ish)
Hilarious lol
@@Grizzs okay ty but what about the applebee's part
dont got that where I live
@@littlelarimar4955 theres a lot of old people at applebees
If it's black: fight back
If it's brown: get down
If it's white: make peace with whatever God you care to believe in cause you're bout to see them.
Eh, too long.
Black: Fight Back
Brown: Lie Down
White: Goodnight.
if it's black: fight back
if it's brown: get down
if it's white: your chances of living are slight
Wow that makes sense with literally every genus. Great white shark, polar bear, etc.
@@juanjoyaborja.3054 sharks are actually friendly
@@savagesuace5230 You wouldn’t know. Some great white sharks are passive, others are very aggressive. Just like the ones in the USS Indianapolis.
My aunt did survive a hippo attack. The hippo literally bit their boat in half while my aunt her partner and their guide jumped off. Luckily it was more interested in chewing the boat, so they could get to the second boat right behind them and drive away. My aunt was the only one injured - two fingers of her left hand got caught on something when she jumped into the water. She got incredibly lucky a second time an could actually keep both these fingers. All she has today is an impressive scar.
Hood Nature: "How to survive"
Also him 2 seconds later: "YOU'RE NOT GOING TO"
He's just telling the truth
Well he mostly teaching you that you are very stupid if you try to mess with nature
How to survive all of these: always travel with someone slower than you that you won't miss very much.
Oh, really? after a chimp's done ripping their throat off they'll send you to heaven faster than Usain Bolt can run
@@baconbutevil76 HELL 😂
Nah when he done with your friend your goin be sprouting daisys
@@Tee1andonlee lol
Lmao i'm weak-
whoever you heard say "make yourself look bigger" for a bear attack was talking about little black bears. Once I was sitting outside my motel room and a bear walked up behind me, and I stood up fast to turn around and see what it was and scared the shit out of that poor bear, he didn't even know I was there and I was 3 feet above him on a raised deck, he ran like the wind. For a black bear being loud and looking bigger does dissuade them, just not with a grizzly.
How to survive a Jess Frey attack. Just run
You're supposed to look bigger with grizzlies too not lay down they'll attack you
@@justprimo2 if it's black fight back, brown get down & white goodnight
@@justprimo2 sure that works until they stand up 10 ft tall and 4X your size and makes you look very dumb and soon dead
@@justprimo2 did you literally not watch the video my guy
I have learned more about animals from this incredibly intelligent man in one video, than all my years in school.
My mom actually survived a moose attacking her without getting hurt! She was hiking in the forest and happens upon a mamma moose and her baby and she climbed up a bolder abd had to stay there for HOURS until the moose lost interest and she could leave. So all in all she was very lucky
@@lisatrappedmeinygsbasement848 your* you*
H⁹æ¾
I’m glad she got away safe!
Lisa trapped me in YG's basement send help telling someone to die isn’t quirky honey
I'm avoiding hiking, camping, safaris, the Amazon, the Sahara, Australia and the oceans. People where I'm from aren't the least bit interested in dancing with the devil in these places or with these activities.
@@MrMARCUS2503 just avoid planet earth itself, go to the moon. To mars, perhaps the sun?
"How to survive a cougar attack: first you want to avoid happy hour at Applebee's, that's when they're most active and most dangerous. Now on to the cats..."
Absolutely priceless and so smoothly delivered.
Absolutely 🤣🤣
Oh shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii......
Well bc they love to go to applebees
Mhm.
I did not knew what he meant
"-This guy has the ability to let you go home to your family or go home to your ancestors." Man, what a line!!! :-D
😂😂😂 omg yess
😂
Noice😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
No seriously they’ll track you threw a blizzard😫
If you are fortunate enough to survive an elephant attack go ahead and play the lottery cuz you are a lucky motherfuker
I've ran into bears several times while hiking here in Canada. Two scariest...
1. Hiking beside a narrow river and right across it was a grizzly eating berries. It startled me, but probably heard me for quite a while. It just watched us walk past, thankfully.
2. West Coast Trail. I was in a crappy mood and walked ahead of my group when I came face-to-face with a black bear, no more than 3 metres apart in a little clearing. We both stopped. I started talking gently, trying not to crap myself or panic. We both backed up slowly. As soon as it moved away 3 or so metres the bear turned and ran. I just stayed there, leaning against a tree, waiting for my friends. Never left the group again.
It was also on that trip that I learned that cougars will hunt otters. Saw some tracks that I thought were a mama and babies going down to the ocean, and when I told the Native guy who ran the ferry he enlightened me as to what the tracks were most likely. That's also when I found out otter and cougar tracks look a lot alike.
When I was very young (maybe four years old), I was picking wild blueberries with my dad, somewhere in the vicinity of Huntsville, Ontario. We were in a broad granite clearing with just a few taller bushes. About twenty minutes into the picking, we got near one of the bushes and a large black bear stood up on the other side of it - maybe five feet away.
My dad said: "How's it going, bear?" in an even tone of voice. We backed slowly off, the bear backed slowly off and, when we got to opposite sides of the clearing (perhaps 100 feet apart), we both went back to berry picking.
This particular bear was a prime-looking chonky boi, who already had a good layer of fat on him, and a calm, confident demeanour. I'm massively thankful that it wasn't leaner and more protective of its food source, or more jittery. In either case, we'd have had a much less productive day of berry-picking. 🤕
It's worth noting that this is going back a few decades, when we were still burning garbage in open pits, and bears were used to being in close proximity to humans at the dump, etc. Habituation is dangerous because it makes bears more willing to take risks in relation to humans - but it also made us far less scary to them. Nowadays, I carry bear spray like any rational human being. Never had to use it; hope I never do.
“So how do I survive a polar bear or chimp attack”
Hood Nature: that’s the neat part, you don’t!
Bring a shotgun or High powered rifle at least (last resort is knife but then again if you reach this point, like what he said you probably won’t live anyways)
Depends if your gonna waste your time and shoot the bear, bring anything, it won’t work lel. If you want to listen to hood nature and use the gun on yourself before the bear reaches you, a pistol or any small firearm will do. Cus the mobility will make sure the bullet reaches you quickly enough
Me-.50 Cal solves everything!
@@SciRuler free trip to your family cemetery where,
Don’t forget the homicidal hippo
Me seeing a moose 10ft away while camping as a little kid: "Oh wow, a moose, it's beautiful, that's so cool, damn it's big."
Me remembering this: "Goddamn, I'm lucky I'm still around today."
I did not see you as a threat
I guess in some species the young have a petting pass. There was a comment around somewhere on a trip to an Australian Zoo. A little kid was left unsupervised by his or her parents and wondered off to the bird's exhibit. Turned out that same day somehow a Cassowary got out and the kid unaware about the power of the Death Emu, went up and pet it. The bird didn't attack, but people were shouting at the kid to get away from it. So yeah in this case it pays to be small and cute.
@@paleface171 like a ferret
@@paleface171 reminds me of when I was a very little kid (still a toddler) I was always pretty small for my age... anyway my parents bought a bunch of geese from an auction house and they were HUGE and I was always scared of them and they would always chase me around and I was absolutely terrified and would run away crying...one day my escape wasn't so well executed because I tripped and fell... apparently they had no nefarious intent because once they finally caught up with my they all decided to sit on me like I was a giant egg.... Apparently they thought that I was just a weird looking gosling...anywho long story short I've loved geese ever since 🤦🤣
@@necrodancer8370 the implication that you are a moose and a dancing necromancer is awful...ly inspiring.
I know this seems like a joke but what he’s doing is REALLY helpful. The amount of ppl I see every year in national parks tryna pet a moose is way too much so him spelling out how dangerous these animals are is great.
They . . . they WHAT?!
Yep 2018-2021 I have realized that humans are one of the most degrading species of MONKE. We are actualy de-evolving.
How is that not natural selection? 🤦♀️
@@camronphillips6669 well I’m not surprise cus there is people on tik tok risking their lives for their two followers sooo
@Rkaale 123 yup there was the Benadryl challenge and the tide pod challenge and apparently at one point there was a “set yourself on fire” challenge but I have to do more research on that
5:14
“Built like a Toyota with the personality of Jeffrey Dahmer”
Had me cackling 💀
5:09
@@KitDoesThat Thanks-
@@GlitchyRed989 👍🏾
I like how he speaks with such urgency as if he expects the person watching this is currently being attacked by a moose
This might be someone's last video as they click on the first video that looks like it could help
Imagine running from a moose while desperately consulting this video 😂 would not end well
That sounds like someone hasn't looked out the window
At least he's doing it right😁
A sincere thank you for the mental image of some idiot frantically trying to get the video to buffer while being stared down by a bull moose.
moral of the story: do NOT reject humanity, do NOT become monke.
Why he said monkey's are like 8x stronger than a human
@@daemonzap1481 gorillas can lift 10x their weight
@Diesel patches Boring? Ha, the wild is many things but boring it isn't. It's tough, a real-world made for real men.
@Diesel patches Video games are fun at first but then become repetitive and boring. I want a challenge in life.
@Diesel patches ill box u mate, ill rek u
“Can’t play dead because pretty soon you won’t be able to play alive” 💀💀💀 this mans jokes are incredible
He had me rolling 🤣🤣🤣🤣 love the way he educates AND bring hilarious lines
"Don't play dead because pretty soon you won't be able to play alive."
This is why i followed you
one tip: when chased by a polar bear you should throw pieces of clothing away. Polar bears are huge ADHD animals and will stop to sniff at the clothing. If that doesn't work at least you'll be frozen to death before you're cut to ribbons
making loud noises can help, bear bangers are a helpful tool
@@natebrown90 Hmmm yeah, see I would agree this would work on grizzlies and black bears. But a polar bear will stop at the sound, and still run you down anyway. The clothes thing, I believe could work. I don't know how polar bears' sense of smell works but if it stops and decides it wants to smell your dirty ass clothes, you better hope your stinky pits entertains it or else you're going to cease existing.
Carry an extra cloth so you don't freeze and have a gun in case it doesn't work
@@dnsl4176 lmfao the ending
Very reassuring 😅😅😅😅😅😅😅
I once saw a documentary about a group of tourists and their tour guides getting attacked by a hippo. The guides were not off-course, the tourists were just there to kayak, and one lone hippo just happened to wander off and run into them. Two experienced guides died and a third barely escaped with his life; if they hadn't put themselves between their passengers and the hippo, there probably would've been more casualties. Almost thirty people in four or five kayaks just paddling down a river, and a hippo that got lost just decided someone had to die.
Yep, no amount of experience will save you when head to head in the territory of an apex animal wanting you dead. There’s a documentary of that happening with a crocodile guide who also had many years of experience. Grizzly man is another example
Jesus 😳
It’s surprising they aren’t at least an omnivore or carnivore with how violent they are. And their long sharp teeth
They are omnivores
Note: the hippo was not lost, it was in its own habitat. LOL
"Living is no longer your choice" caught me off guard 💀
Me: “So how do I survive being attacked by this animal?”
This dude: “That’s the neat part! You don’t!”
LoL soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo TRUE
Survival was never our choice
Im a firm beleiver of the 300 rounds of undisriminatory lead
I love the "Off yourself. Then that animal tchnically didn't murder you" take XD
The humans are an evolutionary failure comment was very accurate. You are NOT adapted for speed and pretty much everything else absolutely is
The expression is “if it’s brown, lay down. If it’s black, fight back. If it’s white, goodnight”
Don't lay down with a brown one either
@@justprimo2 did u watch the vid? at 8:54 he literally says if u come face to face with a brown (grizzly) bear, lay down
@@justprimo2 the “lay day” is essentially play dead*
Lay down was just a nice way to phrase it that makes the saying easier to remember
And you doing any of these can easily still lead to your existence warranty expiring 😂😂
Facts
"If all else fails tell Kobe we miss him." Almost choked on my beverage.
beverage
Or meet him
Bruh😩
B e v e r a g e
Don't u mean D R A N K?
My dad was approached by a brown bear in Siberia when he was camping with his friends. It wasn’t really aggressive, but still tried to chase people away from the food so it could eat the leftovers. They managed to quickly get inside their car (bear even tried to open it) and my dad pressed a car honk, which scared the bear and it ran away. It was over a 35 years ago, but my dad is still really scared of bears and has nightmares about meeting them. Sometimes he even starts to yell at these imaginary bears at night in attempt to scare them, but only scares the s//it out of my mom 😂
Damn talk about PTSD
As someone who grew up in the mountains, we had a joke about how to tell the difference between a black bear and a grizzly bear.
"Kick it as hard as you can and shimmy up a tree. If it's a black bear, it'll climb up the tree to maul you. If it's a grizzly bear it will knock the tree over and then eat you."
😂
I now wondering how many people would try this… being from a small city I now think I could have been one of the few to Actually do this.
If you're colourblind and don't intend on living.
Haha, we were taught "the idea grizzlies cannot climb is a myth. If the tree is big enough to support their weight they can climb it. And if it isn't, they'll just knock it down."
odd fact, people, bears and pigs will all eat each other, and all are omnivorous.
“Humans can’t run from anything”
That’s cause we were built for long distance chases
*stares in hyenas running 30+mph for up to 15, miles*
@@kiddvandal91 Exactly! Spotted hyenas beat us at that, too!
We evolved but backwards
Devolution
@@kiddvandal91 yeah but we can sweat, hyneas can’t 😎
Chimpanzees: "The CEO of black air force energy"
That killed me🤣
The oldest gang alive lol
FACTS BRO
Im the 666th like
🤣🤣🤣
Boy he lying the ceo of black Air Force energy is honey badger not chimp
I don’t remember this but my family used to tell me this story all the time:
When I was about 2, my parents/grandparents took me to a zoo, and there were some Hyenas in a cage with a railing a few feet away. Apparently I was enamored with them and didn’t want to leave. I was told that they were cackling back at me for about 10 minutes before the keeper ushered us away for their “feeding time”. My Grandparents would always say that I had a connection with them. It wasn’t until I got older, and learned that Hyenas cackle when they see something they want to hunt/eat, that I realized: they didn’t like me, they though I was a juicy snack. When I told my family about this new info, they looked a little shocked. I just think it’s funny
You lucky, if your parents pulled a certain mom move from 2016 Cincinnati zoo you would probably be in heaven while the hyenas got to devour your body and life.
Bears
If it's black: fight back
If it's brown: lay down
If it's white: see the light
In India, if it's black you're also dead.
Steve Olotu
In India, you get five hundred people and beat the bear to death with money.
If its black: Might get away with it a good fight
If its brown: Might get away with it by being a pussy and lay down
If its white: Might get away with it by having the best trip youll ever have and for the first time seeing the light
If it's white: Say goodnight
It’s actually
If it’s black fight back
If it’s brown get down
If it’s it’s white goodnight
GET THIS GUY A NATURE SHOW
Yes
Its gonna turn out as shitty as any other show on TruTv or Adult Swim
Indeed
The only nature show I’ll ever wacth
Ig if your an idiot
I live in an area with mountain lions, and the only attack in my lifetime was when a malnourished, underweight female attacked a 6yo (the kid’s injuries were relatively minor). They have to be literally starving to risk attacking people, and even then, it went for someone who weighed less than a Costco sized bag of dog food
I’ve actually been “attacked” by one. I got lucky and heard it coming and turned around and he B-lined it right. I was real upset with my dog for not noticing first lol
I remember when my Chihuahua ran across the street to challenge a grizzly sized Deutscher Schaferhund and ran away screaming lol I should've brought popcorn.
it's pretty rare, yup. most predators stay away from people unless they're desperate or learned to associate humans with food. which is very comforting, until someone decides it's a good idea to feed the gators 💀
Years ago a mountain lion wandered down the mountain into my hometown and mauled three people and a dog, after it was stopped they discovered it had lost its teeth due to age and disease, it was starving and couldn't properly eat what it killed.
You've obviously never been near a mother who felt her cubs were threatened.
This man is really optimistic about our souls’ chances
Well I mean if you're right with Jesus... watching some of these videos make me want to confess though and get that feeling of being right with Dad. It's easier to think of death when there's nothing on your consciousness.
“it takes 20 hyenas to take down a lion!” yea thats the problem, you’re not a lion
It doesnt. It only takes 5
@@raptorjesus5870 with effort. 20 is a piece of cake.
Ahem ahem lion king
I mean, he's not lion.
I'm sorry
@@multiverseman4017 Its okay. That made me chuckle. Here, take this like.
How to survive a hippo attack: Hope there is a strong tree nearby, they cant climb but might try to uproot a tree.
They can’t depending on the tree. Their bodies are not designed for throwing down trees per se, the tree would have to be on a particularly unstable soil.
Same with grizzly bears, but they will shake the tree.
@@RaHELLaable This is different though, grizzly bear bodies are capable of throwing down trees because they can get in two and are more agile overall.
@@rolandorodriguez4504 yeah, still i thought it would be interesting if I said it.
@@RaHELLaable You know what is interesting? Armadillo shells are bulletproof and in fact one Texas man was hospitalized after a bullet ricocheted of the animal
I remember when Iceland had our "year-of-polar-bears" where a record number (3-4) polar bears ended up floating on sea ice from Greenland.
There was an interview with a young girl who lived on a farm. She saw something white by one of their fences and assumed some white plastic had come loose off of their hay rolls and gotten stuck on the fence so she went to go get it. When she was about 10-20m away she looked up and realised that she was actually looking at a huge polar bear eating some unlucky ducks. Hearing her explain that she had never ran as fast in her entire life gave me chills. She was damn lucky it had found something to snack on and was too tired and hungry to go after anything bigger than nesting ducks.....
I think I would have shat bricks.
funny
10-20m is roughly 32.8 - 65.6ft for my freedom unit friends
That's insanely close considering it could've blitzed her down in roughly 6-10 seconds if it wanted to at that range.
@@Herocku Yeah, it's terrifying.
Thankfully it had already found food and didn't have the energy to go after her. She got really lucky that day.
@@Anna464 at least she wasnt you
It's depressing to know that a lot of your options here are to just die, but it's also reassuring to know that these are some of the world's top animals meaning that they are some of the strongest on their species. Still Hella scary though, thanks 4 the vid dude.
"can't play dead because pretty soon you won't be able to play alive" is an undervalued line.
Ikr this one had me wheezing
💀
“First of all, why would you put yourself in a position where you need to know any of this?” 😂😂😂
Its the ''Connect you to gods WiFi'' that got me dying
I'll never get zombie stories with animal corpses that were left on the scene as if they were torn apart by zombies. What's a group of zombies going to do to a moose, chew on it with blunt teeth and scratch it with broken nails? If anything, a moose or a bear in a zombie movie should have sick action scenes like they're Dynasty Warriors characters comboing a horde of zombies.
"a moose should have sick action scenes like they're Dynasty Warriors characters comboing a horde of zombies"
This has to be one of the best Adult Swin cartoon pitches i have ever seen, please make this into reality, like a fucking moose obliterating a hoard of zombies
Hmmmm your comment would actually be a good premise for a movie
Many animals could really destory a horde zombies easily
@@ForrwarrdMotion6904 as planned ;)
@@LarsTonguesInAspix not resident evil or z nation
Bro the jokes you make like "humans were smart enough to send a man to the moon but a chimp will send you to the news" something like that bro im tariffed and laughing my ass off 😂
"You can't play dead because pretty soon you won't be able to play alive"
💀
"Don't try to play dead, because soon you will be able to play alive"
Got me with that one!
I like to think that for most of these animals, similar conversations happen but in reverse. “How can I survive human attacks?” “Act cute enough and they won’t want to attack. Other than that, you better hope it’s true that all animals go to heaven.”
And yeah, you should meow or something, I heard it worked for cats.
Purr, moew, whimper and Make your eyes and pupils huge. Do not show any signs of Agression or you'll be turned into a hashtag.
I think for most of these animals, the answer is "Is it armed with the magical thunderstick? No: Aggress ; Yes: Aggress faster."
"Sometimes they're sneaky but usually they're loud. You can almost always just run from them, they're slow as hell.
Whatever you do though, don't threaten them. And don't retaliate, especially in a developed country. Humans are incredibly vengeful and will hunt you personally if you take one out, even if they had it coming."
I want a world where a capybara just explains all this for different animals' perspectives like how this dude does it
“Speak in a loud, firm voice” just had me thinking we need to tell the cougars off 😂
The relentless delivery, the graphic presentations of how many things will kill you, the impeccable vocals. If I ever get killed by anything with weirder teeth than me, I want this man to come and laugh at my funeral.
Same!
same bro, same.
I'd pay good money for that. 50k to come roast me at my own funeral with interesting animal facts delivered in a witty manner.
7:14 Fun fact: That doesn't actually work. The whole trick of wearing a backwards mask was created in the early 1900s in an attempt to keep people safe from a man-eating tiger known as the Tiger of Champawat, who with a 436-person killstreak holds the Guinness World Record as the most prolific man-eating tiger in history. During her reign of terror, she would evade the Indian and Nepalese military patrols that were sent to hunt her, travel as far as 32 kilometres in one day in order to find people to eat, kill women and children in broad daylight, and actually scared the local population so much that people were afraid to go to work. She was finally shot in 1907 by legendary British hunter Jim Corbett, who found that the reason she put humans on the menu was because she had several broken teeth that prevented her from hunting her usual prey.
Must resist… Calvin and Hobbes joke…
@@reignman4 Ah, I see you are a man of culture as well.
Intelligence I love it
"In Sundarbans in West Bengal, where man-animal conflict is at its peak, fishermen and bushmen originally created masks made to look like faces to wear on the back of their heads because tigers always attack from behind. Wildlife experts say this worked for a short time but tigers soon realized it was a hoax and the attacks continued" - Times Of lndia article
That was fun
it’s a miracle we even managed to get out of the cave
Well we have thumbs
@@bartudundar3193 true, we’re so dominant that we drove megafauna on every continent we expanded into to extinction(Africa was the exception because we evolved there so those animals evolved to survive among humans)
@@bartudundar3193 yeah we are op asf
It's a miracle we even managed to get down from the trees in the first place
@@magiv4205 It’s actually kind of a handicap. The reason we left the trees is because Africa was becoming a dessert and there weren’t enough trees to live in. We got hunted easily by land predators until we learned to make spears and evolved better bodies for running
My dad knew a guy who was attacked by a grizzly on Vancouver Island. He curled into a ball and it not only tore his backpack off but ripped the skin of his back off too exposing some of his organs. When he turned his head to see where it was it ripped half of his face off leaving the skin hanging and removing an eyeball. It eventually lost interest and the man hiked like this for over a mile to a logging road where he was picked up by another man several hours later. This was in the 70’s and the man actually lived. He was just surveying for a new logging road but the grizzly wasn’t even having that. 🇨🇦😬
Bear heard about human encroachment and said imma be proactive.
“TELL POP SMOKE HIS ALBUM SLAPS” 🦹🏾♂️🦹🏾♂️🧙🏾♂️🧙🏾♂️😭😭
Its true
69 yeee
It does tho no 🧢 W💫💫
Time
👎🏾
If it’s black, fight back
If it’s brown, lay down
If it’s white, *say goodnight* 😃
Yes
lol true
If it’s white get ready to see the light
Well for white bear you can run away and take off a shoe or piece of clothing because they have adhd and will forget so that's the only thing you have
What about pandas?
I feel Jacksepticeye said it best while playing Farcry Primal:
"It's like fighting an angry *BUS!"*
Oml, trueeeeee
He also once said “SPEED IS KEY!”
But those are elks not a moose, but both are probably unsurvivable
The Tall Elks lol as im currently playing primal
Link
when we're old and have to leave the earth, i'll still remember all i learnt from you🌟
"How to survive an elephant attack: scream"
I would do that even without advice most likely
Nope you misheard, he established there is no surviving an elephant attack. That's instant oblivion. There's just surviving an elephant.
I doubt you could piss an elephant off that much without really working at it.
I can admit a Moose encounter was the most terrifying moment of my entire life! Was walking around my uncle's property at night when I saw a moose just giving me the " i will disembowel you if you come any closer" look. That was the longest 500 feet back to his house of my life! I still can't believe my pants remained unsoiled!
So you saw a moose from 500 ft (152 meters) at night? I call bs on this story.
@@seewobble7048 no he was literally 4-6feet away when I saw him. I knew not to run so I just backed up slowly and headed back to the house which was about 500 feet away. I the Moose was that far away I wouldn’t have even cared because I wouldn’t have seen or heard him
@Harry64278 no he was 4- 6 feet away. The house I retreated to was 500 feet and he followed and stared me down the entire time I retreated. Like I said I can’t believe my pants weren’t full of piss and shit!😂😂
@@seewobble7048 sorry, my op is confusing
It’s like seeing a kaiju over the horizon my dude. Them things look scary NO MATTER the distance
"Hyenas are weak. It takes about 20 to kill a lion!"
"Are you a lion?"
But I would be lion to you if I told you that you can survive an attack in one piece
@@khiyan_autistic what?
@@TheBluePhoenix008
"lion" sounds like "lying"
it's a word game
@@yoboikamil525 I thought it was a reference to One Piece the anime lmao
@@TheBluePhoenix008 My brain did that to me too at first 💀
Hilarious and helpful at the same time, you earned a new subscriber =)
“Unless your last name’s DiCaprio, there is no reward for getting assaulted by a grizzly.”
Clearly this guy’s never heard of the Darwin Awards.
I'd 100% watch his video on the Darwin Awards featuring animals, the humor and creative wordplay would make those stories go from gold to Khazad-dûm mithril!
I would love to see this guy do some Darwin awards
One of my sister’s friends was on a field trip to a nature reserve in South Africa when he was a kid. They were walking through this one area with a guide, but he got distracted by a rock or or something, and when he looked up everyone was far ahead of him. He tried to run to get back to them, but then he heard this noise in the bushes. It was a hyena, and then he realized that there were several of them standing near him making those laughing sounds. The guide had noticed he had fallen behind, so he had left the kids with the teacher and started to walk back when he saw the hyenas. There was nothing he could do, so they all just stood there for about 20 minutes…waiting. He said it was one of the scariest things he ever experienced, in part because no one could help him if the hyenas decided to go for him, and because the guide would only endanger them all by trying to scare the hyenas away or move past them. Eventually they lost interest and walked away, but man…he was so lucky!
That's horrifying.
So ppl jus go in the wild with no means of defense with wild apex predators without guns wow like its a walk in the park huh
@Timothy Damiani im tellin you mfs wildin
@@BarManeNw3 Yeah, shoot one round and get a pack of 50 hyenas on your ass. Standing still and not causing their killer instincts to turn on from running away is the best choice.
The guid was an idiot for not having a gun. Better to have it and not need it, than to need it and not have it.
Brian Blessed has said in several interviews that he survived a polar bear attack. It climbed into his tent and (understandably) startled, he punched the bear on the nose. It was apparently equally startled, because it ran away. I'm not sure whether or not this is true, but this detail of the account of his journey to the north pole has remained consistent over the years.
I could see him doing that. All he'd really have to do is RAISE HIS BOOMING VOICE at it and that should be enough though.
Probably smelled humans, if it looking for food everyone is F'd.
What a lucky escape, for the polar bear
If you punch a bear, more often than not the next thing you will try to punch is Muhammad Ali's face in the heavenly ring
@@allyw7405 u had me in the first part ngl💀
It's wild to me the amount of humans over dozens of thousands of years that found out that running away was the worst option.
This shit is why I hate those “naked and afraid “ type shows. You won’t catch me in the middle of nature without a damn rifle 😂
Rifle? Anything 60 feet within me that moves is a shotgun
fuck it, take the .50
@@gustavfrye2736 LMFAO
Yo u American?
Did you guys even listen? In many cases a gun won't save you but just piss the animal off lol
I love how a lot of these are just
“You won’t live lmao”
Cuz that's it.
Just consider how WE are scary to them with preps
I don't think, you would ever be bare handed. even if you got there by mistake, you can easily find a stick, humans are not really that defenseless, like tf, we are apex predators, its true, we have become really soft, cuz we don't exercise as much as our grandparents, but the country where I live in, if you go to the villages, and even at the outskirts of cities, animal attacks like tiger, monkeys are very common, people know how to deal with them.
@@godfather7339 the problem with that is 1v1 against any of these animal with a stick is a good way to spell desperate. We hunted animals back in the days by throwing spears and numbers all the while keeping our distance and even then some of us still died, not 1v1 stick fight with a bear, tiger or an elephant with no experience. Also Tigers are ambush predators, they dont throw themselves in our face and maul us for a breakfast so idk how you know how to "deal with them". Monkeys are easier to deal with than bears, hippos and a lot of others.
@@godfather7339 did you just say grap a stick. The heck a stick doing to a hippo
@@godfather7339 a stick? Bro tf you on about
i swear to god, this guy can talk about the most serious and dark shit and ill laugh my ass off because of his humor.
He has such a straight faced delivery...lol
Your channel is so great, i had to go back in time to watch more!!! Great job on everything from quick, accurate speaking to clips and stories ALL perfect with laughs❤❤❤ love Ya!!!
Bro he deserves 10 million subs he’s actually underrated
Thank you so much man
@@mndiaye_97 just subscribed to you it’s really entertaining.
@@mndiaye_97 you’re the funnier version of David Attenborough
@@agreatwhiteshorse4267 same
@@mndiaye_97 Mark is right.
Fun fact: A man survived a Tiger attack by punching it as hard as he could in the nose, so if all else fails, swing for the nose or eyes, good luck not getting your hand bit.
You know that you are mostly going to die if you are the close enought to punch a tiger in the face but still maybe works
@@zaintg2881 im sure but may as well try
So pull a united states of smash and pray if all else fails.
Yeah I think bit is an understatement
If all else fails, tell Kobe we miss him.
You’re too funny bro, he said “cougars are most active at Applebee’s” 🤣🤣🤣
lmao dude is brilliant 😂😂😂
I'm saying...
He ain't lying tho
I fail to see the issue.
I'm good with that.
@@mellowknight9350 You're right there BOAH
I’ve always been surprised on how friendly gorillas actually are
“Living is no longer your choice.”
😂🤣😂
“Water horse.”
🤣😂🤣
“Bipolar tank.”
😂🤣🤣
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵
Incidentally, the word hippopotamus literally means “river horse.”
Lol
Toward the bears
“If it’s black, fight back”
“If it’s brown, get on the ground”
My saying: “If it’s white, don’t fight”
Edit: If it’s white, let there be light
If it's white, say goodbye
@@wilsonlin9680 Yeah that's the right one
If it’s white your gonna see the light
@@Gokuriderfr If it’s white, you’ll see light
there's a police joke in here but I just can't quite find it
“hit from the b- attack from behind” had me dying in my chair
When
@@LukeOn4060 6:06
“If all else fails tell Kobe we miss him”
My boy I can't express how much your content helps me mentally every day your channel and true facts channel are amongst my favorites keep doing what u doing
"Do not run away... God took his time with bears" 👀 😆 🤣 prolly the most underrated comment
There is this show on Natural Geographic called "Something Bit Me" and I've seen an episode where someone survived a moose attack, a polar bear attack, and there were two episodes that involved people who survived a hippo attack, two that survived cougar attacks, and one that survived a black bear attack. There were several that survived rattlesnakes, box jellyfish, and alligators. Quite an interesting show really.
I can’t with the title “something bit me” 😂😂😂😂😭
Oh I have whathed that
Wow, with this many survivals imagine how many deaths there were...
Saw a brown bear once while on a hike to the summer cottage, when it looked at me I just made myself look bigger and walked back slowly. The bear went to stand on his back legs and just looked at me. After he was out of my vision I fkn bolted it.
Jeez, that sounds terrifying
Ngl though, you probably felt real stupid trying to look big after the bear stood on its hind legs lmao
That bear basically flipped you off in bear language. "Oh yea tough guy, think you're big? Check this out." xD
I saw a black bear while in the woods a couple months ago but it was too far away to care about
One time I watched a whole family of black bears eating out of my garbage. At first I wanted to go out and chase them off, but then I decided to be nice and just leave them. The weird part is that somehow they opened the shed's sliding door to get to the garbage.
@@pirateraider1708 nah bro you ain't being nice then finna send you to heavens gates if you need whit them
"If all else fails, tell Kobe we miss him" My man! This is why this channel is great.
"You can't play dead because pretty soon you won't play alive." I'm deceased
Sorry for your loss 😞
Stopped playing alive? XD
Sorry for your lost.
How to survive a bear: be a Russian
Russians are strong AS HELLLLLLL
How do you survive a Russian
@@kalebb1226 You don't
@@kalebb1226 offer them vodka
@@Jonnell01 they'll only be distracted for 30 seconds then it's game.
How to survive a grizzly near attack: play dead. It's good practice for when you actually die a couple minutes later.
How to survive other stuff: you probably won't.
@Hyper Speed I was always told that playing dead makes it look like you died from a disease and thus aren't worth the risk of infection to eat.
do I believe this? ehhh.....
@@wrongtime9097 when you play dead you need to play show like show that you started suddedly to die in agonising pain. or eat somthing and start making weird noises and die
@@monke6912 Grizzly Bear: *is thinking about eating someone*
Person: “ayo this stick _BUSSIN’_ *ded*”
@@wrongtime9097 yeah yuar make good acting or kikl yourself before beer does
@Hyper Speed Most grizzly attacks are not predatory, but territorial. so if you cease to be a threat they tend to leave you alone.
However even a casual slap can still injure you greatly, so lying on the ground and playing dead is the most harmless you can be to it.
Playing dead is also a confusion thing, for a wild animal, it either kills something, or finds something that is already dead.
Running up to something and it just flopping on the ground without any physical interaction is not in their experience.
And that makes them wary, and confused and cautious. Cautious enough to not see you as food, you may suffer a lethal disease or massive parasite infection, it is not normal for things to just drop dead so they are not sure what to do with that.
Now if a Grizzly had already decided you were going to be it's next meal and you don't have bearspray or serious firepower on you. Playing dead may just buy you that confusion thing and survive.
Or you were dead no matter what.
I’m sorry are we just gonna ignore the “they prefer to hit from the back- attack from behind” line 😭
So what you're saying is, I should just stay home and never leave the house.
Yes
Yes
Isn't that what covid-19 is for. At least we can thank covid-19 for that
U live in a jungle ?
Correct
Speaking from experince with elephants, in 2009, I was attacked by a little 6 year old elephant in Thailand named Chompoo, because he got annoyed at me for taking a pineapple away from him(it wasn't his pineapple). Anyway, a few minutes into the worst beating I'd ever received(I as an amateur boxer at the time), I pissed myself.
Turns out, an animal beating you to death with it's nose, is quite appalled by rubbing it's nose in unine soaked clothes. Long enough for people to grab you and drag you to safety anyway.
So... yeah, to survive elephants, smell like a toilet.
Why would you take something away from a large, wild animal??? "It wasn't his pineapple" is the most obnoxious, Karen statement I ever heard. It's a damn fruit! Let the animal have it. I can't believe you thought you would school an elephant 🤦🏽♀️
@@gitana1384
1. It wasn't a wild animal.
2. It was another elephant's pineapple.
3. It was an elephant school
Happy 2022!
@@gitana1384 lmao right? Stupid
@@shannonlim739 2. You were lucky the baby got pissed, not the other elephant lol
@@mogomighty102 shooo no one cares
I would like to argue, that there is something moose fear: orcas. Because orcas eat moose and it is just as terrifying and awesome as it sounds
Moose don’t know what Orcas are.
This is because Moose & Orcas only meet in very rare circumstances (a Moose swimming in salt water through an inlet that an Orca happens to also be swimming in).
Any Orca that a Moose sees would instantly murder it making it impossible for other moose to pass on knowledge of their existence.
@@takeda6516 more often than that. Moose dive up to twenty feet to eat seaweed. Along the coast in alaska, it's a not too rare occerance, and I've personally seen it twice when i lived in washington. Once was on an especially traumatic whale watching tour when i was 7. Can confirm, the moose looked scared.
it doesn't really matter tho cuz we are just human and would get fu#ked up...
But they don't get attacked often enough to realize they have something to worry about.
Greenland sharks too. They've been found with moose in their stomachs.
Omg buddy you make my day, your creativity in description is phenomenal.