Things Jesus actually said🤣😭

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  • Опубликовано: 25 ноя 2024

Комментарии • 675

  • @mariannagregorio2905
    @mariannagregorio2905 7 месяцев назад +3588

    I love how you reminded me of the "Jesus curses a fig tree" thing that ACTUALLY HAPPENED, and I realized I never understood what He was teaching with this, so I asked my mum.
    She told me it's about the tree, which looked like it had fruits, but it didn't, which is a metaphor to people who look like believers, but they aren't, and Jesus curses them.
    I finally understood this metaphor I couldn't for years, because I finally cared enough to ask :)

    • @rosedew5172
      @rosedew5172 7 месяцев назад +111

      Wow 😯 intriguing

    • @leanykakicsi6152
      @leanykakicsi6152 7 месяцев назад +82

      Intriguing explanation!

    • @777LoveStory
      @777LoveStory 7 месяцев назад +143

      He's actually cursing the origin of death, sin. The Tree in the Garden that our parents weren't supposed to eat of it? It was a fig tree. When He curses the tree it's the Passover when He's offered up. He's about to go cover the cost of sin, so that those of us who choose life don't have to taste death, which is the fruit of sin.

    • @lunamoonracer8899
      @lunamoonracer8899 6 месяцев назад +63

      Nah he was just hangry

    • @mariannagregorio2905
      @mariannagregorio2905 6 месяцев назад +9

      @@lunamoonracer8899 wut?

  • @BekuMidoriya
    @BekuMidoriya 7 месяцев назад +2235

    "What? Do you think I just turned off my omniscience for a sec?"
    Man these crack me up, looking forward to the next one! 😂😂

    • @PreciousJohn-yl9js
      @PreciousJohn-yl9js 6 месяцев назад +5

      😂😂😂 very funny

    • @moralityisnotsubjective5
      @moralityisnotsubjective5 4 месяца назад +4

      @sophmercy True, but He definitely knew which of them would betray Him.

    • @orpheemulemo8053
      @orpheemulemo8053 3 месяца назад +1

      ​@sophmercy There is an argument that Jesus did know the our but it was not his place to say or announce but the father its why we get the analogy of the end of days being a husband coming to collect the bride

    • @maskedredstonerproz
      @maskedredstonerproz 2 месяца назад +3

      okay but like, can he canonically do that? can he actually turn off his omniscience?

    • @Philliwolf5
      @Philliwolf5 2 месяца назад

      ​@sophmercy, come on now. Don't lie. You know you're not sorry for being "that guy."

  • @jibekmechler139
    @jibekmechler139 7 месяцев назад +4468

    My dad says ‘get behind me Satan’ every time we try to convince him to do something bad, like break his diet or spend money

    • @annainspain5176
      @annainspain5176 7 месяцев назад +190

      I've said it to JWs when they show up to give me "Bible information." I said it in Latin: Vade Retro Satanas. They don't come here no more. Funny, that.

    • @_Siloam_
      @_Siloam_ 6 месяцев назад +60

      Jesus loves you ❤

    • @SheWasBornToPraise
      @SheWasBornToPraise 6 месяцев назад +27

      Lol awesome ❤

    • @MonMon-jx2fj
      @MonMon-jx2fj 6 месяцев назад +15

      Lmaoo😂😂😂

    • @kvp2249
      @kvp2249 6 месяцев назад +4

      Thats not ok

  • @andrewdsadfsdafvxcvfsafznw2
    @andrewdsadfsdafvxcvfsafznw2 6 месяцев назад +735

    Reminds me of when Jesus was talking to the Pharisees and used a parable to basically say:
    "The Father sent all those prophets to warn you guys to stop doing evil, but you didn't. Instead, you killed them. So then he was like, 'How about I send my son, surely then they'll listen.' And then you guys killed him, too. What do you think that father will do to you upon his return?" Cold as ice.

    • @SchwarzesSchweigen
      @SchwarzesSchweigen 4 месяца назад +51

      Cold as liquid nitrogen

    • @achilles7607
      @achilles7607 3 месяца назад +1

      Well Jesus was the greatest sinner of them all. And a great liar as well.

    • @maevav5645
      @maevav5645 3 месяца назад +51

      @@achilles7607the what are you talking about?

    • @achilles7607
      @achilles7607 3 месяца назад

      @@maevav5645
      Jesus was a blasphemous sinner and his followers were Idolaters. Worshipping him is no different than worshipping a pagan statue.

    • @bennmullins3064
      @bennmullins3064 3 месяца назад +3

      ​Tell that tacitus, also all offense I have neither the crayons or time that explain it to you. So take your big boy cash and buy yourself a snack.

  • @SSOTime
    @SSOTime 7 месяцев назад +899

    For anyone who hasn't read this in Bible, not all of these are direct quotes. These are spiced up a lot. (To be funny ofc 🙂)
    Great vid!!

    • @noodlenado7827
      @noodlenado7827 7 месяцев назад +31

      Ty for noting! I was gonna say

    • @thedemonslayer6365
      @thedemonslayer6365 6 месяцев назад +53

      however the fig tree one is pretty accurate 😭😭

    • @J.T.7
      @J.T.7 6 месяцев назад +42

      ​@@thedemonslayer6365 and the "get behind me satan" too

    • @SemiOmni314
      @SemiOmni314 6 месяцев назад +13

      @@J.T.7 It's much wilder how it happened just after Jesus tells Simon that he was blessed and his name was Rocky now

    • @Theohybrid
      @Theohybrid 4 месяца назад +5

      The last one and the one where midas was accused but the rest are fairly accurate.

  • @lauracheever
    @lauracheever 6 месяцев назад +965

    The "have you not read" line makes me snort every time. It's the rabbinic version of "do you even lift, bro?" 😂

    • @YoelaOlson
      @YoelaOlson 4 месяца назад +29

      I never thought of it that way 😂😂😂😂

    • @matildejimenez5871
      @matildejimenez5871 3 месяца назад +7

      🤣🤣🤣 absolutely!

    • @hannahpense9973
      @hannahpense9973 3 месяца назад +17

      Do you even read, bro?

    • @stevenpowell1991
      @stevenpowell1991 3 месяца назад +24

      Yeah, He literally asked Bible scholars if they have ever read the Bible XD XD

    • @jeffbenton6183
      @jeffbenton6183 29 дней назад +1

      I love that way of saying it!

  • @TheSilliestGoose731
    @TheSilliestGoose731 7 месяцев назад +2157

    Jesus Christ is literally Him.

    • @happening_quietly
      @happening_quietly 7 месяцев назад +41

      IM WHEEZING AHAHAHA

    • @ChozenForReal
      @ChozenForReal 6 месяцев назад +10

      ​​@@happening_quietlyWho is 'HIM' then?

    • @robbymounce5764
      @robbymounce5764 6 месяцев назад +77

      @@ChozenForReal “Him” is The I Am! God Almighty Himself!

    • @Jorel-i1z
      @Jorel-i1z 6 месяцев назад +8

      fr lmao

    • @ChozenForReal
      @ChozenForReal 6 месяцев назад +8

      @@robbymounce5764 I agree, I was asking the guy who was laughing at the comment that said 'Jesus is literally Him'

  • @retrobro8233
    @retrobro8233 7 месяцев назад +2157

    "Make sure to write that ALL disciples saw it" GOSH THESE ARE SO FUNNY!!! AHHHH

    • @christian_gurl
      @christian_gurl 6 месяцев назад +13

      Don’t use the Lord’s name in vain
      Or like a replacement for His name in vain
      ❤😊

    • @RushWheeler
      @RushWheeler 4 месяца назад +8

      All the disciples saw it but were too embarrassed to write it down themselves.

    • @Isaiah78
      @Isaiah78 4 месяца назад +11

      @@christian_gurlwhy can’t we use a replacement?

    • @we.meet.again12341
      @we.meet.again12341 2 месяца назад +5

      @christian_gurl You can use replacements. Even priests say "gosh". Its okay!

    • @MoonlightsManga
      @MoonlightsManga Месяц назад

      Disciples: write that down write that down 😂❤

  • @ReubenBBX
    @ReubenBBX 4 месяца назад +194

    1:13 "IM HIM, I HAVE THE AUTHORITY TO DO BOTH" 💀😭

  • @SussyBakarus
    @SussyBakarus 7 месяцев назад +358

    ‭Matthew 7:21-23 CSB‬
    [21] “Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only the one who does the will of my Father in heaven. [22] On that day many will say to me, ‘Lord, Lord, didn’t we prophesy in your name, drive out demons in your name, and do many miracles in your name?’ [23] Then I will announce to them, ‘I never knew you. Depart from me, you lawbreakers!’

    • @EdKolis
      @EdKolis 7 месяцев назад +10

      Which is funny because later in the New Testament it's said that all who call upon the name of the Lord will be saved. Is someone lying?

    • @gknight686
      @gknight686 7 месяцев назад +14

      @@EdKolis I always wondered that honestly. maybe only if they're truly sorry? idk

    • @EdKolis
      @EdKolis 7 месяцев назад +8

      @@gknight686 or maybe the name of the Lord means his actual name and not just the title "Lord"?

    • @AcuraTLMan
      @AcuraTLMan 7 месяцев назад +81

      @EdKolis This comment might get r/whoosh'd, but these verses refer to Christians who try to get into Heaven through their works along instead of their faith in God, hence why they try to convince the Lord to let them in on the basis of them prophesying, casting out demons, and performing miracles. Going forward, Jesus calls them "lawbreakers" because the people in verse 22 do not truly believe in Him; if they truly believed in Him, they would've done those actions in His name, and said actions would not have been meant to be a way to get salvation, but rather the result of them being saved. Hope this helps.

    • @BowlOSoup6661
      @BowlOSoup6661 7 месяцев назад +9

      ​@@AcuraTLMan A good example of someone this is most likely going to happen to is this Onlyfans model who "Got baptized" a few days ago. If she continues Onlyfans then, well you know what happens.

  • @Justasheepwithashepard
    @Justasheepwithashepard 6 месяцев назад +235

    I recently found out that He cursed the fig tree because fig trees don’t bear leaves without bearing fruit at the same time. He was talking about the religious Pharisees that looked good on the outside but bore no real fruit and didn’t have their hearts changed (just like a lot of Christian’s)

    • @YokaiX
      @YokaiX 3 месяца назад +36

      In a more literal sense, he was literally saying the tree was useless and a liar. Appearing to have fruit, but actually having none, and probably incapable of producing fruit at all even if it was in season.

    • @Jack567898
      @Jack567898 Месяц назад +6

      Man maybe He was Just hungry and Had a Bad day
      I can be mean too If I'm hungry and better to curse a tree than a man

    • @supercellex4D
      @supercellex4D Месяц назад +2

      Reading the NT gives you a lot of context about modern antisemetism

    • @achilles7607
      @achilles7607 Месяц назад

      @@supercellex4D
      Which is why you shouldn't expect Jews to adore Jesus and the Christian Bible...

    • @supercellex4D
      @supercellex4D Месяц назад +2

      @@achilles7607 to be fair the pharisees brought it on themselves

  • @AlexanderosD
    @AlexanderosD 7 месяцев назад +254

    "You're so direct and honest . . . I love it!"
    Same!
    "Lazarus is asleep guys."
    "Lord if he sleeps then he'll get better-"
    "He's dead guys! He's dead!.....alright, let's go say hi to him..."

  • @ShadowFungus
    @ShadowFungus 6 месяцев назад +87

    I find it really cool that Jesus was actually savage and straight to the point and sometimes sarcastic on his responses 😂

    • @vickyokolie-e5h
      @vickyokolie-e5h 18 дней назад +2

      Hey! God gave us humor, i'd expect Him to have it too :D

  • @genesisdawn6672
    @genesisdawn6672 7 месяцев назад +152

    Ok, so the fig tree thing. He's figuratively cursing the origin of sin. It's just before the Passover when he's offered up. So he pays the price for all sin, so that no one has to partake of the fruit of sin, which is death. :)

    • @Yahkov-cy1cc
      @Yahkov-cy1cc 6 месяцев назад +29

      The fig tree thing is a parable, think of the fig tree as a human from afar your life seems fruitful but upclose there is no fruit in your works, I guess that means the things you do in your daily life are all in vain cuz
      Your focused on surving in this world but not focused on saving your soul which is to accept christ as your salvation, and also I guess God wants us to be fruitful in season and out of season because christ came near to that fig tree thinking it would be have some fruit but I guess it wasn't in season, so that means God wants us to be fruitful in season and out of season. We'll I hope things were clear enough. Peace

    • @genesisdawn6672
      @genesisdawn6672 6 месяцев назад

      @@Yahkov-cy1cc Maybe that's one level of interpretation. But I think it's limited.
      I'm seeing evidence of the Tree of the Knowledge of the Good and Evil being a fig. We have textual evidence for figs being in the Garden b/c they covered themselves in fig leaves. They tried to solve their new problem with something adjacent to that which ushered in the problem. Much like when as a kid you steal a piece of candy and then lie when questioned about it.
      The story of Jesus cursing the fig tree in the book of Matthew, which was written with a Jewish audience in mind, and Mark, which corroborates the story. Jews would be able to understand the correlation between what Jesus does in this situation and what happened in the Garden.
      Further, Jesus is God. He made the entire natural world, including trees and seasons. He knows everything that happened to that specific tree from the moment its seed was planted, every drop of rain that fell on it, every animal that used it for a home or food, etc. He knows exactly when each fruit is in season. Which leads me to believe He's doing something more than merely cursing a tree. Trees don't have life like we do, no sentience, so to curse a tree is weird. And what He says to it gives us a clue as to what He's really doing. "May no one eat fruit from you again." What is the fruit of sin? Death! He's cursing the origin of sin. Like I said, this is the Passover when He's offered up as korban. He is about to pay the price to cover all sins. For Him, that tree could not nourish Him. He's God, He doesn't sin. His taste of death is by choice as a blameless sacrifice, not the result of doing evil.
      Now the Tree of Life, which the cross stands in for it for a time, in Heaven it produces twelve crops, a different one each month. This shows us the provision of God at all times. Those who know Him and have come to rely on Him, are perfectly positioned to do so forever. And God did not give us death, that was never His provision. God is the God of the living and not of the dead. We chose death in the Garden. Jesus tells us Himself He came so that we could have life and life more abundantly. His shed blood affords us the choice from the Garden of life or death. And it restores us, in part, to the paradigm in the Garden of having a personal relationship with Him. That is the primary function for which we exist at all.

    • @Qresmaidapa
      @Qresmaidapa 6 месяцев назад +3

      ​@@Yahkov-cy1cc Awesome explanation ❣️

    • @hharden4969
      @hharden4969 3 месяца назад +2

      This could also be interpreted as the disciples still not understanding why Jesus had cursed the fig tree for that reason. I love that these explanations actually do give more insight to what the parable is talking about regarding our souls in-and-out of season: that either way we suffer without truly living in faith of Our Lord, knowing that he will provide all but we should still grow and get to know His Will for us.

  • @samuelanders7597
    @samuelanders7597 7 месяцев назад +177

    I love the subtitles saying "Rock" 😂

  • @lindagreenwood3909
    @lindagreenwood3909 7 месяцев назад +20

    I think that you are getting better and better all of the time! I don’t know how that’s possible because you are already awesome❤

  • @lizziedoyle8530
    @lizziedoyle8530 6 месяцев назад +99

    Oooo 0:16 was that a Matthew from the Chosen impression!!??😃😃🤍

    • @lovenxjae
      @lovenxjae 6 месяцев назад +3

      😂😂😂

    • @prettyhatemachine93
      @prettyhatemachine93 2 месяца назад +2

      Matthew is my favorite one in the chosen

    • @LavenderLoverrr
      @LavenderLoverrr Месяц назад +5

      I love how everyone knows exactly how Matthew moves in The Chosen; it’s hilarious.

  • @williamdunhan341
    @williamdunhan341 7 месяцев назад +319

    The Fig Tree produces leaves *with* figs.
    Leaves = Figs.
    That tree lied. To Jesus. When he was hungry.

    • @EdKolis
      @EdKolis 7 месяцев назад +9

      I guess the panda shot all the figs in between eating and leaving.

    • @graciegirrll
      @graciegirrll 7 месяцев назад +15

      That always gets me 😂

    • @Jaehuanhuan
      @Jaehuanhuan 5 месяцев назад +3

      🤣🤣🤣🤣

    • @phantasmicmasque
      @phantasmicmasque 4 месяца назад +14

      “You’re not you when you’re hungry”

    • @minivan1680
      @minivan1680 Месяц назад +3

      ​@@phantasmicmasque 😂😂😂😂😂

  • @BerHartflorido
    @BerHartflorido 11 дней назад +33

    "1:16 i am him"

  • @moongoddess1978
    @moongoddess1978 7 месяцев назад +84

    I like the acting like Matthew in The Chosen 😂

    • @amandakorjus6889
      @amandakorjus6889 24 дня назад +2

      yesss I hoped someone else had also noticed that

  • @EdKolis
    @EdKolis 7 месяцев назад +256

    I love how the Pharisee just had a towel on his head. And Peter was called Rock in the captions!

    • @robbymounce5764
      @robbymounce5764 3 месяца назад +5

      I NOTICED THAT, TOO! 🪨 (doesn’t the name “Peter” actually MEAN “ROCK” ?!😅❤

    • @EdKolis
      @EdKolis 3 месяца назад +2

      @@robbymounce5764 it does

  • @invictus7914
    @invictus7914 7 месяцев назад +42

    Thank you for the awesome Jesus memes seriously hilarious 😂

  • @bellaschneider9414
    @bellaschneider9414 3 месяца назад +6

    You are literally the funniest Christian RUclipsr I've ever come across. Wine days I can't breathe I'm laughing so hard 😂😂

  • @kakr4739
    @kakr4739 6 месяцев назад +32

    Fun fact: because of the humidity in Isreal at the time, fig trees would still have fruit whether or not they were in season.

    • @slkjvlkfsvnlsdfhgdght5447
      @slkjvlkfsvnlsdfhgdght5447 3 месяца назад +2

      um, what? i live in Israel and this is just wrong: fig trees only bear fruit for part of teh year, not all of it

    • @DualXGacha
      @DualXGacha 3 месяца назад

      @@slkjvlkfsvnlsdfhgdght5447 I mean, this was 2000 years ago so idk.

    • @EatAnOctorok
      @EatAnOctorok 2 месяца назад +7

      @@slkjvlkfsvnlsdfhgdght5447 "At the time". They're talking about the humidity of the 30s AD.

  • @AllMightsSister
    @AllMightsSister 6 месяцев назад +27

    Bro IS the main character (fr) 🔥🔥 Amen

  • @Awkward_Baby
    @Awkward_Baby 3 месяца назад +8

    The way he said “GET BEHIND ME SATAANN!” 💀💀💀

  • @ayenitaiwo7221
    @ayenitaiwo7221 6 месяцев назад +34

    He addressed Peter as rock😂

  • @Kairidabairi
    @Kairidabairi 3 месяца назад +7

    Jesus cursing a fig tree is genuinely one of the funniest things ive ever heard

  • @thedeadbachelor
    @thedeadbachelor 6 месяцев назад +9

    "do you think i just took off my omniscience for a sec?"🤣🤣🤣

  • @engmed4400
    @engmed4400 4 месяца назад +8

    One of the hardest statements He made is found in Matthew 10:13-15, "If the household is worthy, let your peace come upon it. But if it is not worthy, let your peace return to you. And whoever will not receive you nor hear your words, when you depart from that house or city, shake off the dust from your feet. Assuredly, I say to you, it will be more tolerable for the land of Sodom and Gomorrah in the day of judgment than for that city!"
    Note that the act of shaking the dust off one's feet is an act of extreme contempt. It's saying that the other person is so beneath contempt that not even the dirt they walk on is worthy of you.

  • @buried-under-ground
    @buried-under-ground 5 месяцев назад +12

    bro Rock's face before he staryed cryibg was wild 💀☠️😂🤣

  • @Hunter_VanderMatthews
    @Hunter_VanderMatthews 7 месяцев назад +17

    Bro was hangry for real.

  • @dearthofdoohickeys4703
    @dearthofdoohickeys4703 3 месяца назад +4

    “Offspring of vipers” is another absolute classic roast.

  • @elijahmwakina2773
    @elijahmwakina2773 6 месяцев назад +11

    Being told that you are the rock that the church will be built on and then minutes later being called literally satan is just sooo confusing 😂😂

    • @Theohybrid
      @Theohybrid 4 месяца назад

      Peter was still being molded to be the leader for the soon to be Christian church.
      He had to be independent of Jesus's physical body and later receive the Holy Spirit to do greater works after Jesus died for their sins on the cross once and for all.
      It's like weaning then off milk and later encouraging them to walk independently without direct assistance. Later the kid becomes further independent and only needs occasional supervision but they will solve their own problems while getting help from their parents sometimes.

    • @samwallaceart288
      @samwallaceart288 3 месяца назад

      Translation:
      Josh: "You're a real one, Rocky. Imma need you to take care of the boys bcuz after this next post I'll need to take a long holiday before I go mad with power"
      Rocky: "Nah man! You cooking! At this rate you'll take over the world in no time!"
      Josh: "DON'T ENABLE MY PARASOCIAL DOPAMINE LOOP. I NEED THIS HOLIDAY BEFORE THE PRESSURE TURNS ME INTO SATAN 2.0 U DUMB BITCH"

  • @deborahmahon5451
    @deborahmahon5451 2 месяца назад +5

    "OoooOH Mathew writethatdown writethatdown!" 😂

  • @ninababs
    @ninababs 7 месяцев назад +88

    this series is doing more for modern evangelization than actually begging for people to simply accept Jesus lol

    • @meganofsherwood3665
      @meganofsherwood3665 Месяц назад

      It feels so much more real and relatable. Like, this is the Christianity I signed up for

  • @alianagutierrez1459
    @alianagutierrez1459 3 месяца назад +4

    That Matthew personation was on point🤣👍 0:16

  • @cakeman230
    @cakeman230 6 месяцев назад +5

    the voice for matthew sounded like the chosen😭

  • @amjthe_paleosquare9399
    @amjthe_paleosquare9399 4 месяца назад +3

    GET BEHIND ME SATAN!!
    Fave phase when we encounter something/someone mildly toxic or just don't wanna break the diet 😂😂😂

  • @YHsmiley
    @YHsmiley 4 месяца назад +2

    "You don't have in mind the concerns of God but the concerns of man." This is resonating in my mind, and I feel I need to reflect on it

  • @PaxettreugaDei
    @PaxettreugaDei 5 месяцев назад +5

    Christ mocking Judas has me rolling

  • @GamerNerdess
    @GamerNerdess 18 дней назад +3

    I laugh every time I read Jesus cursing a fig tree. Dude was so hangry that he took it out on a poor tree and made a significant life lesson out of it. 😂

  • @katiaromero7149
    @katiaromero7149 4 месяца назад +3

    I will always love the "Matthew, write that down"

  • @bulletproofwhale5869
    @bulletproofwhale5869 3 месяца назад +3

    I will always stand by the opinion that Jesus was *always* picking fights in the most merciful way, just to be sassy xD

  • @brandonbutler9186
    @brandonbutler9186 6 месяцев назад +4

    peter being called “rock” 😂

  • @gracenwachukwu6396
    @gracenwachukwu6396 Месяц назад +1

    From "you're rock now" (pt 1) to "you're a stumbling block"
    😂😂😂
    Oh dear Peter

  • @onionbubs386
    @onionbubs386 3 месяца назад +2

    "It's not me, is it Rabbi?"
    Hit dogs holler

  • @teetotee
    @teetotee 6 месяцев назад +9

    "I'm HIM" - God

  • @kem3456
    @kem3456 Месяц назад +1

    "Matthew write that down, WRITE THAT DOWN!!" *incoherent panicked writer noises*

  • @DawgPound13
    @DawgPound13 19 дней назад +3

    Love GOD❤❤❤❤❤

  • @ImaniGithegi
    @ImaniGithegi 27 дней назад +1

    I love how the slightest thins are linked with the Chosen’s portrayal of characters like how Matthew hunches his body slightly or Judas having blue eyes

  • @catherinesauer5110
    @catherinesauer5110 24 дня назад +1

    I love how he just waves at the terrified Apostles in the boat and walks PAST them on the water!❤😂

  • @Folakanbi
    @Folakanbi 5 месяцев назад +2

    😂😂😂😂 I really can't believe I can laugh this hard at a what-Jesus-said joke😂😂😂

  • @owencoles2798
    @owencoles2798 26 дней назад +2

    It’s wild how some things sound from this in modern English.

  • @Metro8886
    @Metro8886 6 месяцев назад +6

    Repent and believe in Jesus Christ

  • @Abi-pz6by
    @Abi-pz6by Месяц назад +1

    Another funny one is when he was talking to the disciples about how he is from God and then they asked who are you and then he said why do I even speak to you 😭

  • @Jrsonicyt-is-weird
    @Jrsonicyt-is-weird 5 дней назад

    This makes me love Jesus even more

  • @pieragade6
    @pieragade6 7 месяцев назад +3

    Just found your channel and now I can't stop watching your videos, so funny omg 😹
    Greetings from Brazil! ❤

  • @candela__
    @candela__ 7 дней назад

    "Ee eeheen't meee, eeheet rabbi" Bro 😂😂😂😂😂

  • @Raiden4019
    @Raiden4019 18 дней назад +1

    "Get behind me Sa-I mean MR PRESIDENT GET DOWN!"

  • @Love333.
    @Love333. 6 месяцев назад +5

    How to get to heaven❤️:
    We've all sinned and if God gave us justice we would end up in hell but we have a way to escape this punishment because of what Jesus did on the cross:
    1- Believe that Jesus is God who died on the cross for our sins and rose again
    2-Know that you are a sinner in need of a saviour and can't get to heaven by doing good or by any religious works
    3- Turn from sin and obey God out of love for God and truly love everyone (reading the Bible will help a lot)
    (Read the Bible verses too 💗)
    1- John 1:1, John 1:14, 2 Cor 5:18, 2 Cor 5:21, Acts 3:15, John 3:18
    2-Luke 23:39-43, Eph 2:8, Rom 3:23
    3-Matthew 25:32-40, 1 John 3:18-23, Galatians 5:6, 1 corinth 6:9-10, Matthew 25:14-30
    Thanks so much for reading, God bless ❤️

  • @SSNintendo
    @SSNintendo 24 дня назад +1

    JESUS AND GOD ARE REAL AND WITH US ALWAYS AND WILL HELP US AND PROTECT US WHEN WE NEED IT!

  • @geekgirl616
    @geekgirl616 Месяц назад +1

    Yeah Jesus was kind of a savage ngl in the Bible he’s constantly roasting the pharisees

  • @Eve_heart
    @Eve_heart 9 дней назад

    Simon Peter being subtitled as Rock had me dying-

  • @sethender443
    @sethender443 2 дня назад

    Best part is that he still capitalizes the “Him”😂 Love it

  • @elainaleach955
    @elainaleach955 Месяц назад

    Not the Matthew impression 😂

  • @dailybasis178
    @dailybasis178 6 месяцев назад +1

    The fact that he was obviously playing specifically "the chosen" Matthew tickled my brain a little

  • @randomusername-v9e
    @randomusername-v9e 9 дней назад

    "GET BEHIND ME SATAN" GETS ME EVERY TIME IT'S SO FUNNY

  • @danielnemesio3388
    @danielnemesio3388 23 дня назад +1

    I wished Jesus won his argument in the format of rap battles like Loki did once

  • @abbzsterz
    @abbzsterz 2 месяца назад +1

    Man I know where I get my saracastic humor from it’s from the Lord lmao.
    Also Peter is my favorite he is so relatable

    • @meganofsherwood3665
      @meganofsherwood3665 Месяц назад

      Ngl, I love how one of the key features of God's voice (voice as in a 'writer's voice') is, like, 1/3 sarcasm & sass, through both the old & new testaments 😂

  • @okwichuii
    @okwichuii 6 месяцев назад

    the matthew from chosen impression lololol

  • @Mangledamango
    @Mangledamango 6 месяцев назад +1

    I can’t🤣🤣🤣 and, I just saw a contemplation of Jesus being funny in the Chosen

  • @senhoritavaca1659
    @senhoritavaca1659 26 дней назад +1

    Oh my God, you wrote rock instead of Peter I SPILLED MY WATER LMAO

  • @itsjanessayo
    @itsjanessayo 12 дней назад

    I love how anything Peter says is titled “Rock” lol

  • @simmonedavis98
    @simmonedavis98 6 месяцев назад

    PLEASE make more of these! I love these so so much 😁

  • @blank4502
    @blank4502 4 месяца назад

    I laughed when I saw you called Simon Peter "Rock"

  • @vickyokolie-e5h
    @vickyokolie-e5h 18 дней назад +2

    Nah, we all know Jesus had humor, because someone of the things He sad we're utterly HILARIOUS!!!

  • @Konoshinobi
    @Konoshinobi 6 месяцев назад +2

    Matthew 23:13-29 Jesus delivers seven "eff yous" to the scribes & pharisees.

    • @Konoshinobi
      @Konoshinobi 6 месяцев назад

      Seven or eight, depending on which version

  • @OrangeTabbicat
    @OrangeTabbicat 6 месяцев назад +1

    Them making it more modern day talk made it way funnier.I didn’t know about the fig tree one or the one with that women but it was still hilarious!Praise god!✝️

  • @twilightcyber4543
    @twilightcyber4543 6 месяцев назад +4

    You forgot one more thing
    "If your right eye causes you to sin, just tear it out"

  • @lilcake9904
    @lilcake9904 4 месяца назад +1

    "lets use our brain again" this cracked me up 💀💀

  • @SuperPrettyPink101
    @SuperPrettyPink101 3 месяца назад +1

    This is why Jesus is King. He's so kind and patient but he also doesn't put up with anyone's nonsense, just the coolest guy for real. ❤

  • @triquiblue
    @triquiblue 4 месяца назад +2

    The funniest thin here is that I just read that on my Bible 😂

  • @Iamserenity
    @Iamserenity 3 месяца назад

    The way he impersonated Mathew in the first one😂 all my chosen fan homies will get it 😁

  • @jellyfish_003
    @jellyfish_003 2 месяца назад

    “matthew, write THAT DOWN WRITE THAT DOWN” charles the french reference 👀

  • @MercyFevad
    @MercyFevad Месяц назад +1

    When Jesus answered that he has no brothers,,after he was told that his brothers are calling him 😅😅

  • @DeadricDeadggory
    @DeadricDeadggory 4 месяца назад +1

    "Did he just curse a fig tree?"

  • @VisionMusicWorks
    @VisionMusicWorks 2 месяца назад

    Love these videos. 😂

  • @Trees_talk_to_each_other
    @Trees_talk_to_each_other 3 месяца назад +1

    Jesus had to constantly be gentle parenting the Pharisees 😭

  • @TreasureOmuno-agono
    @TreasureOmuno-agono 2 месяца назад

    Matthew write that down!!😂

  • @JClover2
    @JClover2 6 месяцев назад

    When Robin Williams did that Judas joke I think I laughed for hours and couldn't stop. It was so unexpected coming from him

  • @Maybe_Sam
    @Maybe_Sam 4 месяца назад

    Itss soo funny and good that you are reminding us all you are very good influencer may you have more i never comment like this on anyones video but my heart really feels happy bro Stay happy stay blessed ❤

  • @Tasuke
    @Tasuke 4 месяца назад

    Some of these are pretty fire lines ngl

  • @Nikitha-cb1hl
    @Nikitha-cb1hl 2 месяца назад +1

    For people who are confused about the fig tree incident. The fig tree actually denotes Israel nation.(Hosea 9:10, Jeremiah 24:5) God wanted the israel nation to produce good fruits that is following his commands etc. but he didn't recieve it from them in the later period. So he curses the fig tree that is israel nation (which actually meant that their nation is destroyed and it is not a nation anymore, that's why Jews were scattered all over the world). So all the leaves are dried. But Jesus says in luke 21:29-36 look at fig trees and all the trees .( The fig tree means israel nation and all the trees means the other nations which were as colonies under a different kingdom.) When they are budding (which means the nation is created for themselves or attains freedom ) you see and know for yourself that summer is near( like god's kingdom is coming or we are in the end time). In 1948 israel was formed nearly after 2000 years. It was at the time of end of world war 2. A that time that many nations got freedom. It was a important period in history. And this is what Jesus meant . When he says something is has in-depth meaning or even a 1000 more meanings. Because his thoughts are not our thoughts.❤
    (This was taught to me by my bible teacher)

  • @Hi_deo_09
    @Hi_deo_09 6 месяцев назад +1

    looks like the rock really became a pebble 💀

  • @Lily-GraceRenfroe
    @Lily-GraceRenfroe 4 дня назад

    That first one is the reason why I'm ok with being hangry

  • @SaltySailor512
    @SaltySailor512 4 месяца назад +1

    bro its crazy how i know all of these
    God bless

  • @priscillajimenez27
    @priscillajimenez27 6 месяцев назад +1

    00:14 that's Matthew! 😂

  • @sillywhiteflag
    @sillywhiteflag 20 дней назад +2

    Jesus is underrated funny when people do skits of the bible

  • @speechless5528
    @speechless5528 3 месяца назад +1

    Isn't this guy from Dhar Mann?😂