Im with him on the TP thing, I basically get a pillow going, my wife is always saying i use too much, i say if we get to the place we can't afford more TP then ill cut back, but until then hand me that plunger!
I love this guy. Just discovered him. Finally a comedian with a clean mouth and Godly principals. May the Lord richly bless you Tim. God is laughing hard shaking Heaven to the one square line 😂
+Bestie Video first of all in this video he says "I believe God has given us a great planet" also there is another video where he makes jokes about atheist mega churches. I also saw a video where he said he is a Christian
“They are gonna mall you to death and then they are gonna eat you.. and wash it down with a coke” And may I add: and then they will have bladder failure and probably eat a taco and I lost the plot
I think "save the polar bears" is just a way of bringing attention to the larger environmental issues we are currently facing...but yeah, polar bears are a terrible example to use if wildlife preservationists want outsiders to sympathize with them. (While we're kind of on the subject, wasn't the giant panda taken off the endangered species list a few months back? And yet it's *still* the mascot for the wildlife conservation movement? If they're ever taking suggestions for a new mascot--one that's actually still endangered--I recommend the hawksbill turtle. Just sayin'.)
He should visit the stores now and tell everyone he is wrapping toilet paper around his hand like a mitten. It could lead to a war right there in the aisles.
The perfect amount of tp is 7 squares, each time, then a couple passes of wet wipes, then more tp to dry. Then, of course, you need to flush at least 3 times. I am from Missouri, too!
I hope you don't think giving money to Save The Polar Bears would actually better anything for anything. Give of yourself, and if you want to donate somewhere, choose wisely!
There's plenty of times where I'm in the snow and I'm drinking Coca-Cola and I'm just thinking the polar bears would have love it right now. They must be enjoying it with santa and the penguin and leopard seal friends. Lol jk
"There will be wars and rumors of wars and rumors of people using one square of toilet paper"
Oh Tim, how did you know.....
WOW... IKR
Facts!! I was about to post a similar comment
Lol 2020 was the end of the world
Corona
We need to find a way to recycle toilet paper
Oh my gosh, this dude kills me. "I hope he's not a greeter in a church" brilliant
When he said that it made me sick but made me laugh soooo hard!!!
That one took me a second. Then I got it and found it really funny. :p
Simon Smith To be honest, I haven't gotten it yet.
Christian Boesch if they only use a square of toilet paper, they're probably gonna have "stuff" on their hand 😂
@@ChristianBoesch if the greeters at Church use one square of TP, ...you're shaking poop hands...
"They're gonna maul you, then they're gonna eat you...and wash it down with a Coke!"
😂😂😂
Chris Mike I'm dying
Chris Mike Same though!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
I lost there.
It can't be all bad news...think of it this way: At least you'll be AWAKE when it's finished!!
"How do you use one square of toilet paper?"
People in quarantine: *Oh, let me tell you....*
Yes
Quickly and with the accuracy of a spec op sniper
YOU USE THE HOSE XD
Frequently.
"There will be wars and rumors of wars, and people using one square of toilet paper."
-Tim Hawkins
LOL I saw this live!
He was right. #coronavirus
@@ravenjames3449 nice
I love how he laughs at his own jokes.
Niyat Berhe the sign of a true comedian
Yeah, it makes it extra funny
@@Alexis_Bittner Well, he did say, "I'm hearing some of this for the first time too, it's pretty funny"
I find it more impressive and funny when they can keep a straight face.
Yes
this is the hardest i've ever heard him laugh and i am physically crying real tears
I need toilet paper, I just wet myself I'm laughing that hard
Simon Smith tfw you laugh so hard tears run down your legs
bishiewuvr not quite tears.
Yellow tears? Me thinks you waited toooo long.
"one square, one square mile. I JUST KNOCKED OUT A COSTCO ISLE"
ah if only he could see us now
There will be wars and rumors of wars and people using one square of toilet paper
😂😂😂😂😂😂
ORANGE juice hhh
That's the worst.
Lol
Ok guys. I'm from 2020 and it's sad to say that this is the truth right here
"One square, one square mile, I just knocked out out a Costco aisle."
Must be where everyone got the idea from 😂
Quarantine
2:58 that laugh just cured my depression😂😂
folks if u ever come across a group of polar bears "whosh" "whosh" ... run 😂😂😂😂
I'm drinking cherry coke right now. I nearly spit some all over my screen when he said "and wash it down with a coke."
There's at least one time, when I was at my mother in laws house, that I thought having a polar bear handy would have been nice.
EnlightenedAce 😂 I feel ya
EnlightenedAce Hahahahahaha
Good one!
Guys! You thought he was kidding. In 2020 it's a reality
not in reality
Im with him on the TP thing, I basically get a pillow going, my wife is always saying i use too much, i say if we get to the place we can't afford more TP then ill cut back, but until then hand me that plunger!
So... have you reached that place yet? 😂😂
"There will be wars, and rumors of wars, AND PEOPLE USING ONE SQUARE OF TOILET PAPER."
I have officially died.
Knocking out a whole toilet paper aisle at Costco... Tim was prophecying without even knowing it.
Tim wasn't prophecying... God heard the joke and decided it'd be funnier this way. 😂
"And people using one square of toilet paper." All he left out was the plague
With Tim, you never know what you'll get; polar bears,toilet paper and fist bumps-----and he makes it all work!!!!
Amen!!
Jackie LaGeek 1111111111
I love this guy. Just discovered him. Finally a comedian with a clean mouth and Godly principals. May the Lord richly bless you Tim.
God is laughing hard shaking Heaven to the one square line 😂
Watching this post quarantine, that toilet paper joke is too real 🤣
I was drinking a coke,when he said that...I spit it out because I was laughing so hard😂😂😂
his videos are so funny! i have never seen him live, but I've always wanted to.
I've been binge watching Tim Hawkins and my stomach hurts from laughing 😂
“I’m not getting anywhere near me, idk where I’ve been ...” 😂😂😂😂😂😂🙌🏻🙌🏻 I cant stop laughing
One of the funny Tim Hawkins videos ever
That one square better be the size of a bounty paper towel square. It's the quicker picker upper.
I agree with the toilet paper thing I mean who uses just one square
Alex Cordle your thinking inside the box, the paper isn't for you bottom, it's for your finger.
No it,s to wipe your brow XD
And the poor dude who thinks it would actually MAKE A DIFFERENCE to this old planet.
I actually have been in a situation when I needed a polar bear. Recently actually.
Guianne Cheynn In-laws?
such as...?
"Hope he's not a greeter at a church" hahaha
$5 says he is 😂😂😂😂😂😂 that or hes an athiest
+Bestie Video he's not an atheist
+Josiah Falero how do you know?
+Bestie Video first of all in this video he says "I believe God has given us a great planet" also there is another video where he makes jokes about atheist mega churches. I also saw a video where he said he is a Christian
+Bestie Video sorry 😄 I thought you meant Tim
He was speaking prophetically and didn’t even know it 🤣
RIGHT?? Now we can relate to this skit even more... 😂 We'd never imagine that toilet paper would be one of the first things to go in a "plandemic"...
This is my proof that God has a sense of humor 😂
3:12 HOW DID HE KNOW😂
Unfortunately I don't think he did...
I can tell you this though, I'm now 100% sure that God has a sense of humor!
Trending topic: 'Soul-crushing' video of starving polar bear exposes climate crisis, experts say
My first thought: This video
When you realize that you wish you had a polar bear at least twice in the last month…
The dude that was like we need to use one square of toilet paper pretty much predicted the future 🤦♀️🤣
This aged well
“People using one square of toilet paper.”
"You're gonna die a painful death"? I thought that was when you got bit by a yellow-spotted lizard?
People still remember that novie?
James Delong l do l do. l have a copy of the book and am anxiously awaiting the day my child is old enough to read it.
He's great, bit of a fortune teller.
wrap it around my hand like a bee hive
I'm originally from Missouri and that joke about the toilet paper was hilarious.
NOW WE KNOW where all the toilet paper went…TIM! #covid19 😂
Nobody:
Covid 19: *let me introduce my self*
He needs to be the guest comedian at the G7 summit and do this joke 😆 🤣
Is it bad that I act this out alone in the bathroom in the mirror-_-
dude, I do the same thing. Hahaha. no lie
+Jacob Garcia I guess I'm either practicing to become a comedian, or make sure I deliver it correctly to my friends
+Darkscarlet 101 same haha
+Jacob Garcia then when I get out of the bathroom my sister laughs at me because I was talking to myself
+Darkscarlet 101 just be like "oh like you've never done it" haha
He makes fun of the One square of toilet paper guy... and then 2020 just happened bro, that dude was ahead of his time
Nah God just has a patient sense of humor 😂
46 people were eaten by polar bears....who then washed it down with a coke.
Anakin SkyWalker 145
I've wished I had a pet polar bear at every dinner party I've been to.
I’m hearing some of this for the first time too.
"One square of TP......" * Fast forward to 2020....
wow, he is so talented
We wrap it around in West Virginia too
“One square for what? To dab my brow?”
Gotta have full coverage.
I love Tim Hawkins cuz he even makes my autistic brother laugh :>
Watching this during the COVID-19 toilet paper situation. Yep......we’re here!
“They are gonna mall you to death and then they are gonna eat you.. and wash it down with a coke”
And may I add: and then they will have bladder failure and probably eat a taco and I lost the plot
oh my gosh i LOVE Tim Hawkins so much!!!! I died laughing!!! lol
Sam S RIP
folks if come across a polar bear......................RUN
"We only need to use one square of toilet paper", I love it.
I think "save the polar bears" is just a way of bringing attention to the larger environmental issues we are currently facing...but yeah, polar bears are a terrible example to use if wildlife preservationists want outsiders to sympathize with them.
(While we're kind of on the subject, wasn't the giant panda taken off the endangered species list a few months back? And yet it's *still* the mascot for the wildlife conservation movement? If they're ever taking suggestions for a new mascot--one that's actually still endangered--I recommend the hawksbill turtle. Just sayin'.)
i love tim he`s the best
Omg! Love this dude! I laughed so hard!! 😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣
"There will be wars and rumors of wars and rumors of people using one square of toilet paper"
Well, now I'm scared.
“You know what I’ve needed a Twinkie let’s save the Twinkies before we save the polar bears”LOL
good job with the editing funny stuff.
Now we know who to blame for the toilet paper shortage.
I actually have been in a situation where a polar bear would have been really useful; I’d love to lock my manager in a cage with one.
Ice bear will hunt him down
Ice Bear is my favorite bear. You would be the one polar bear to save.
give this video to PETA XD
I don't think he actually wants hit men coming after him.
Yeah, true
He should visit the stores now and tell everyone he is wrapping toilet paper around his hand like a mitten. It could lead to a war right there in the aisles.
The polar bears are dying "good"
Watch out the Polar Bears will eat your endangered fried Twinkies! Lol
“SaVe ThE pOlOr BeArS!!!”
The voice 🤣🤣🤣
21 people got eaten by polar bears
39 now
Chris Mike 61.
Besides, "That's the worst.", This is my 2nd fav skit of his. Lol What are you a Smurf back there? Lol
And its 2020 and the toilet paper-pocalypse made this joke all too real
"The polar bears are dying!" "Good."
Even more dangerous: Bi-Polar Bears
One like equal one Twinkie saved.
Two wifi engineers got married. The reception was fantastic.
Love him!
The perfect amount of tp is 7 squares, each time, then a couple passes of wet wipes, then more tp to dry. Then, of course, you need to flush at least 3 times. I am from Missouri, too!
11 people really don't want to save the polar bears.
I hope you don't think giving money to Save The Polar Bears would actually better anything for anything. Give of yourself, and if you want to donate somewhere, choose wisely!
"Folks if you ever come across a group of polar bears....
*whoosh whoosh*
......run
“And wash it down with a Coke!” 😂 😆
If you ever come across a polar bear... RUN LOL
And here we see the beginning of the great toilet paper shortage.
No boxing gloves or cotton candy in 2020! Or fist bumps!
"What to dab my brow?" *dabs*..... i'll go home 😂
Twinkies on ebay costed $21,000
Time traveler from 2020 Here. I bet he's only using half a square now. XD
In Cincinnati at the Cincinnati Zoo we had a staff member her arm was chewed off by a polar bear,
Where was the "Sanitize" reference!? lol
There's plenty of times where I'm in the snow and I'm drinking Coca-Cola and I'm just thinking the polar bears would have love it right now. They must be enjoying it with santa and the penguin and leopard seal friends. Lol jk
#SaveTheTwinkies
I almost died choking on popcorn
Oh goodness! That was so FUNNY!!!!!!!!! P.S. I'm a home schooled CHRISTIAN! (Seen all your videos)
the Bundie Bear was a Polar bear. He drank Bunderburg Rum and had hung with rugby union players - he was completely harmless.
SAVE THE TWINKIES!!!!