The Tweet Song - Tim Hawkins & Jonnie W.

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  • @Rassilon6
    @Rassilon6 8 месяцев назад +54

    Wow, people really loved the Judas joke. True story: A friend once asked me if I ever noticed that the preacher at our church couldn't pronounce Iscariot correctly; he always said Is-a-carrot. I hadn't noticed. The next Sunday, he did an entire sermon about Judas Is-a-carrot. That was the toughest time I've ever had trying to suppress the giggles during church.

  • @ckmoore101
    @ckmoore101 2 года назад +52

    "People who don't believe in autocorrect, go straight to heal".
    Damn, that is an unbelievably great juke.

    • @POLITIMICOST
      @POLITIMICOST Год назад +3

      probably meant to spell "heel"

    • @calebhunter7440
      @calebhunter7440 Год назад +6

      I figured it was "he'll"

    • @kathyd456
      @kathyd456 4 месяца назад

      ... I saw what you did there 😂

  • @j.d.wilkes7189
    @j.d.wilkes7189 Год назад +16

    I heard that a scarecrow got promoted, because he was outstanding in his field.

  • @joeskis
    @joeskis Год назад +20

    Making Steven Wright and Mitch Hedberg proud. They might even be jealous they hadn't thought of some of these.

  • @blurdrawsart
    @blurdrawsart 3 года назад +33

    “And Sauron’s not gonna be happy happy happy.” I died 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @pietvanvliet1987
    @pietvanvliet1987 Год назад +12

    Second uncle joke got me.
    Hats off sir, hats off.

  • @sandraglover2681
    @sandraglover2681 Год назад +39

    My husband passed away in January this year, today is his birthday. Very emotional day today but Lord thank goodness for Tim Hawkins and his friends. I can always count on y'all to bring laughter and joy to this old girl's heart. Merry Christmas y'all

    • @theskinnypost
      @theskinnypost  Год назад +10

      Praying for you now. I'm sorry for your loss. May God bless you with His peace.

    • @ittybittykittymama7582
      @ittybittykittymama7582 Год назад +3

      Hi, Sandra, I hope that your heart is healing from your loss. I, too, lost the love of my life in 2009 and it took a while to find my footing again. In time, I allowed the love of God to break through the wall of pain around my heart. I found a scripture that said when you are widowed, He will be your husband. I came to lean on Him and allow Him to fill that place in my life.
      I hope that you can find this place of peace and healing. Much love from Tennessee. Becca

    • @sandraglover2681
      @sandraglover2681 Год назад +4

      Healing is slow but daily through Christ. Thanking all for your prayers.
      gg in Tennessee

    • @annabennett5521
      @annabennett5521 Год назад +3

      I'm so sorry for your loss 😢😢, I'm praying for you 🙏

    • @ahwheen
      @ahwheen Год назад +3

      Sorry Sandra for your loss ♡

  • @PhantomLantern2814
    @PhantomLantern2814 Год назад +17

    I love how Tim keeps cracking up at Jonnies bits.

  • @gypsyrain369
    @gypsyrain369 9 месяцев назад +15

    THANK YOU FOR THIS PAIRING ! Loved You Guys TOGETHER , CRACK ME UP ! BRILLIANT ! That's A RETWEET 🤣

  • @PatriotMomof5
    @PatriotMomof5 3 года назад +42

    When I’m feeling down I watch Tim!! Makes me laugh and before I know it I’m feeling joyful!!

  • @knowledgetracker
    @knowledgetracker 4 года назад +74

    Their dry delivery is hilarious!

    • @michaelvantuinen9216
      @michaelvantuinen9216 3 года назад

      I didn’t get the Lego joke can somebody help me out

    • @knowledgetracker
      @knowledgetracker 3 года назад

      @@michaelvantuinen9216 - LEGO's are little square plastic blocks that kids (or adults) use to build little buildings with.

    • @richardlloyd2589
      @richardlloyd2589 3 года назад

      It’s from practice at delivering Dad jokes.

  • @emeraldryder3496
    @emeraldryder3496 8 лет назад +69

    I love how Tim's just showing off in between jokes

  • @PrincessLorie
    @PrincessLorie 5 лет назад +70

    Watching this at 5am in bed and trying not to laugh and wake up my husband... so I just keep snorting. Y'all are just too funny, I love your clean humor. Thank you. ❤️

    • @900milesfromnormal3
      @900milesfromnormal3 2 года назад +4

      Try being me. I'm watching at work and trying not to laugh...when I answer the phone...at the local hospital...and the caller is literally crying in pain.

    • @geraldglousher3934
      @geraldglousher3934 29 дней назад

      Whoop

  • @sherimcdaniel3491
    @sherimcdaniel3491 4 года назад +57

    “Good friends are like fine wine, that’s why I keep mine locked in the cellar!!!!” HAHAHAHAHA. I should know better by now than to take a drink just before it’s Tims’ turn!!! Now I’ll have to repaint the wall opposite my bed.

    • @richardlloyd2589
      @richardlloyd2589 3 года назад +1

      Ah the joys of getting older, used to be the wall behind the bed.

    • @tyrelhumble2006
      @tyrelhumble2006 3 года назад

      @@richardlloyd2589
      Please explain

    • @richardlloyd2589
      @richardlloyd2589 3 года назад

      @@tyrelhumble2006
      Without being too graphic, think being single and teenaged.

  • @cedgson91
    @cedgson91 2 года назад +11

    People you don’t believe in autocorrect go straight to heel 😂😂😂😂

  • @twicebitten260
    @twicebitten260 5 лет назад +32

    Lost all my family on 12/23 4 years ago, so this is a tough time of year for me......just found this and needed it. Badly

    • @annek1226
      @annek1226 5 лет назад +10

      Hang in there. We will say a prayer!

    • @dukezilla3471
      @dukezilla3471 8 месяцев назад +1

      God is closest to those in grief 🙏

    • @denahamlin2059
      @denahamlin2059 5 месяцев назад +1

      Read your comment on your family... soooo sorry!
      May God bless and comfort you!!! Crawl up in His Loving Lap ans let Him hold you to His heart and rest thete....

  • @SingingSpock
    @SingingSpock Год назад +42

    Recently the inventor of the Hokey Pokey passed away. Took forever to get him into his coffin, though. They put the left leg in an that’s where the trouble started.

  • @CarolFennessy
    @CarolFennessy 2 месяца назад +3

    Just found Jonnie recently but have known about Tim for a long time. Just about didn't survrve laughing. Thanks guys

    • @Guitarplayer724
      @Guitarplayer724 2 месяца назад

      Same, found Jonnie on the Dry Bar Comedy channel just a week or two ago.

  • @Runescope
    @Runescope 4 года назад +34

    I'm an atheist and "Judas Isacarrot" is pure gold comedy.

  • @kwiechufithu
    @kwiechufithu 6 лет назад +49

    Jonnie's pun are epic. My favorite - "conjoined twin...uncle from my father's side...once removed "😂

  • @basedbear1605
    @basedbear1605 3 года назад +12

    Judas is a carrot... omg I'm dying!

  • @lisagrafitti1871
    @lisagrafitti1871 6 лет назад +12

    I thought I was going to shut my computer down and ran across this. I have seen Tim Hawkins twice and almost peed my pants up the aisle laughing so hard.

  • @TheRealDrJoey
    @TheRealDrJoey 3 года назад +7

    This is a slice of the sublime.

  • @jamesedgar3442
    @jamesedgar3442 9 лет назад +239

    "If you're illiterate, you probably live your life by a set of unwritten rules." I LOVE IT!!!!!!

  • @georgesitar4397
    @georgesitar4397 6 лет назад +41

    Never make snow angels in a dog park.

  • @bobmistark3836
    @bobmistark3836 4 года назад +9

    Thanks for the laughs.

  • @yaynemyers394
    @yaynemyers394 7 лет назад +25

    They found him in-between the couch cushions!

  • @HousBinPhartiin
    @HousBinPhartiin 2 года назад +3

    Awesome!

  • @lindalape8493
    @lindalape8493 Год назад +4

    Laughing out loud at this. Too funny and clever!

  • @keepsaker548
    @keepsaker548 5 лет назад +30

    I'm more of a KFC fighter.... LOL

  • @barrettdecutler8979
    @barrettdecutler8979 4 года назад +16

    Props to Tim for taking the much harder guitar part.

  • @IanHulett
    @IanHulett 7 лет назад +185

    Here's an old joke for a new tweet song: "They had trouble burrying the creator of the hokey pokey... he was burried with his left foot in and his right foot out."

    • @gwendaduffield721
      @gwendaduffield721 5 лет назад

      Hopefully it's over I hate making videos 6

    • @richardlloyd2589
      @richardlloyd2589 5 лет назад +1

      I heard the funeral was a very sombre affair, open casket etc.
      But when the pall bearers tripped on the steps to the church, the fun really started.......

    • @johnw2026
      @johnw2026 5 лет назад +3

      Y'all are going to heel... Lol!

    • @annek1226
      @annek1226 5 лет назад

      OMG! Stop! My sides hurt!

    • @sherimcdaniel3491
      @sherimcdaniel3491 4 года назад +1

      420 Magnifique
      HILARIOUS!!!!!!! (I must say, thanks so much for planting that damn song in my head. Now I’ll have to live with it singing happily in my head-ALL DAY!)

  • @ghostofthebravegaming5393
    @ghostofthebravegaming5393 7 лет назад +64

    I would tell a joke about memory loss, but I forgot it!

  • @marybarrett146
    @marybarrett146 7 лет назад +10

    these guys are hillarios!!!!

  • @debmeder7127
    @debmeder7127 Год назад +2

    I enjoyed your song 🤩

  • @maskandvaccinefreeandproud2110
    @maskandvaccinefreeandproud2110 3 года назад +4

    This was absolutely brilliant. Wow. 🤣

  • @lyndaadams7097
    @lyndaadams7097 3 года назад +4

    Laughed so much thank you guys.

  • @kolenowacki7638
    @kolenowacki7638 9 лет назад +62

    I have a "he who does not believe in auto correct go straight to he'll" Tee signed by both Tim and Jonny!!!!

    • @liquidsleepgames3661
      @liquidsleepgames3661 6 лет назад

      Oh go to help

    • @MegaGermanShepherds
      @MegaGermanShepherds 5 лет назад

      Yet sometimes autocorrect is not always helpful because it gives wrong words part of the time.

    • @heidibower2538
      @heidibower2538 5 месяцев назад

      I stopped using autocorrect. It changed every thong.

  • @jq8974
    @jq8974 2 года назад +12

    Vegitales adding a character who betrayed Jesus. Please call him Judas is a Carrot!🥕 Unbelievable! You rock. Where have you been hiding? Keep going 👍 - we need you to help us ride this crazy time!

  • @goaway4236
    @goaway4236 7 лет назад +21

    I'm a Lord of the Rings and Duck Dynasty fan so when I heard that one tweet I was like, "HAHAHAHAHAHA...nope."

  • @ironmandave3000
    @ironmandave3000 6 лет назад +8

    funny funny funny. just Twisted enough for my sense of humor.

  • @messyroomstudios
    @messyroomstudios 9 лет назад +17

    I like the one about the guy who invented the TV remote!

  • @izregistered
    @izregistered 2 года назад +2

    Fantastic humor we all need

  • @jerry-cw9yw
    @jerry-cw9yw 2 года назад +1

    that was horrible! almost, no, did bring me to tears.....perfect delivery, great job

  • @christiannorton9400
    @christiannorton9400 10 лет назад +45

    "retweet"? GENIUS! rofl

  • @timothymcdonald6913
    @timothymcdonald6913 6 лет назад +3

    JUST FUNNY!!! Thank You Both!!!!

  • @brianmccarthy5657
    @brianmccarthy5657 Год назад +8

    Tim and Jonnie together is more than twice as much of way too much!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • @Chaplain_GM
    @Chaplain_GM 3 года назад +10

    If you meet a rancher who's jolly chances are he's growing pot😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣🤦‍♂️

  • @ScottCheatham
    @ScottCheatham 5 лет назад +3

    How come I've never seen this one? This is awesome!

  • @ericsantiago2746
    @ericsantiago2746 5 лет назад +2

    Great tune guys

  • @Fox1nDen
    @Fox1nDen 5 лет назад +15

    lego land joke was a sleeper.... hilarious

  • @cedgson91
    @cedgson91 2 года назад +5

    Judas is a carrot 😂😂😂😂

  • @terriecalamusa9303
    @terriecalamusa9303 2 года назад +2

    These are some funny guys!!!!!! 😁

  • @gregschaper5807
    @gregschaper5807 4 года назад +11

    "Judas is a carrot" Oh my God funny.

    • @difficultjourney3216
      @difficultjourney3216 3 года назад

      I don't think God thinks it's funny.

    • @shilohstore6086
      @shilohstore6086 3 года назад

      English is not my first language why is that funny

    • @difficultjourney3216
      @difficultjourney3216 3 года назад

      @@shilohstore6086 Judas's surname "Iscariot" sounds a little like "is a carrot" in English. Only a luke- warm/carnal Christian would find that funny though. Judas betrayed the Son of God and is now being tormented in hell for eternity. Nothing I would joke about.

    • @gregschaper5807
      @gregschaper5807 3 года назад +1

      @@difficultjourney3216 You must still be worshipping the Old Testament od that had no sense of humor and went around smiting everyone. I believe the New Testament God finds it quite funny. Smart people like puns. Maybe there's a reason that you don't.

    • @difficultjourney3216
      @difficultjourney3216 3 года назад

      @@gregschaper5807 You're not even a Christian. You're a gnostic.

  • @alekssan1694
    @alekssan1694 3 года назад +3

    Frisbee golf = Disc golf = ♡ ♡ ♡

  • @carolynssistercantcook1181
    @carolynssistercantcook1181 3 года назад +3

    Judas is a carrot! I lost it

  • @sicariius7682
    @sicariius7682 8 лет назад +21

    Old MacDonald was dyslexic o-i-e-i-e

  • @denisetarabori553
    @denisetarabori553 5 месяцев назад

    You two are the Dynamic Duo in a good way. 😊

  • @spaceturtlemusic801
    @spaceturtlemusic801 6 лет назад +173

    this could also be titled " almost 9 minutes of dad jokes"

  • @EmmaKnickerbocker
    @EmmaKnickerbocker 10 лет назад +29

    I`m going to heel for laughing at the conjoined twins one too early as well.

  • @katguid2011
    @katguid2011 9 лет назад +23

    Whenever I want to be alone I go the the mall and hold a clipboard!!!!

  • @kaiga1
    @kaiga1 5 лет назад +4

    hahaha i enjoyed this way more than i was expecting to

  • @shauni..
    @shauni.. 6 лет назад +10

    That’s not the joke mam.. you gotta lot of nerve 😂😂🤣

    • @deepbluefyre777
      @deepbluefyre777 6 лет назад +4

      That deadpan facial expression. 🤣🤣🤣

    • @shauni..
      @shauni.. 6 лет назад +3

      Shadras9 yes!! That’s what took me out 😂

  • @maskandvaccinefreeandproud2110
    @maskandvaccinefreeandproud2110 3 года назад +4

    I wonder what their first run through is like when they havnt heard each other’s tweet. Lol!

  • @mariecrouse3879
    @mariecrouse3879 7 лет назад +2

    I love it

  • @noneofyourbusiness5626
    @noneofyourbusiness5626 3 года назад +4

    He makes me laugh without saying anything

  • @AmyMFry
    @AmyMFry 7 лет назад +48

    I liked "Judas Iscarrot"

  • @luisamador8460
    @luisamador8460 3 года назад +4

    My favorite part is the retweet joke

  • @BigT2664
    @BigT2664 Месяц назад

    I have to admit... Judas killed me 🤣🤣🤣

  • @melanne7901
    @melanne7901 Год назад +4

    Another funny one about Johnnie's conjoined twin father, is if they were named Pete and RePete.

  • @beatlesfabfan
    @beatlesfabfan 4 месяца назад +1

    The Lego tweet is hilarious!

  • @ChrisDoss12
    @ChrisDoss12 2 года назад +3

    Here’s my plan. When I die I’m going to be cremated. It’s my last chance to ever have a smokin’ hot body.

  • @terryheasley7027
    @terryheasley7027 6 лет назад +2

    I just discovered you...you're grrreat!!

  • @prodigalthinker
    @prodigalthinker 11 лет назад +24

    Judas is a carrot.. BWAHAHAHA!!!!

  • @arianayavny8271
    @arianayavny8271 4 года назад +14

    The jokes are even funnier when they laugh at their one jokes

    • @gabesmom29
      @gabesmom29 Год назад +1

      I’m thinking a few of the jokes they just came up with on the fly. It is funnier when they crack up at their own jokes.

    • @nancyhowell4505
      @nancyhowell4505 8 месяцев назад

      *own jokes (?) 🙂

  • @jl_studios
    @jl_studios 10 лет назад +31

    Old McDonald was dyslexic, O-I-E-I-E!!!! Hahahahahahahahahahaha priceless

    • @KaRLa66626
      @KaRLa66626 10 лет назад +3

      I LOVE THAT ONE!
      And also the man who invented the television remote. ^_^

  • @pappy451
    @pappy451 6 лет назад +8

    damn Tim can play .
    a retweet he says , lmao . the best one was the last one . . .

  • @peacelovetennis10
    @peacelovetennis10 5 лет назад +2

    They found in between the couch cushions!! Haha

  • @4GodLoves
    @4GodLoves 6 лет назад +7

    "If you're illiterate, you probably live your life by a list of unwritten rules"... HA!

  • @anthonytalks7018
    @anthonytalks7018 5 лет назад

    Awesome God bless

  • @ricksmith7631
    @ricksmith7631 5 лет назад +2

    omg, i was late for work because i had to see this

  • @saeedbowman555
    @saeedbowman555 6 лет назад +1

    one of my favourites was the retweet one lmmmmaaoo brilliant :") cause everone was like... "oh.... ha ha...." at first loooool

  • @Darin-USMCB--
    @Darin-USMCB-- 6 лет назад +1

    Good stuff

  • @greendaleforever
    @greendaleforever 6 лет назад +11

    This should have been called "Dad Jokes"

    • @barryschwarz
      @barryschwarz 5 лет назад +3

      It should have been called "Awesome Dad jokes."

  • @joykrismanits300
    @joykrismanits300 8 лет назад +2

    I like it

  • @elijahjohnston-ligesha
    @elijahjohnston-ligesha Год назад +3

    we have ALL said thong instead of thing lol

  • @grantjudy9733
    @grantjudy9733 5 лет назад

    this is awesome

  • @blazenjj2439
    @blazenjj2439 6 лет назад +11

    My Uncle on My Father's Side, My Uncle Once Removed

  • @robertswelch
    @robertswelch 2 года назад +1

    This is so hilarious 🤣

  • @Natureman-yx9zq
    @Natureman-yx9zq 2 года назад

    😍😜😁✌️✌️🤟rock on tim

  • @JDL0111
    @JDL0111 9 лет назад +2

    that was good

  • @TheChazaqingdude
    @TheChazaqingdude 7 лет назад +8

    That was a retweet. LOL

  • @attayalafayette155
    @attayalafayette155 4 года назад +2

    "That's not the joke ma'am"

  • @mickjager5974
    @mickjager5974 3 года назад +1

    Those were all very funny

  • @lisamcbride8921
    @lisamcbride8921 3 года назад +1

    Old Mac Donald was dyslexic…….o i e I e! So funny

  • @urMYangel777
    @urMYangel777 4 месяца назад

    Judas is a carrot ah man the wholesome jokes the world needs!!!!😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

  • @laurieboyette9569
    @laurieboyette9569 8 месяцев назад

    That’s genius!!!

  • @jeffmclaughlin8564
    @jeffmclaughlin8564 5 лет назад +4

    OMG Judas is a carrot! LOL

    • @glenkaiser633
      @glenkaiser633 5 лет назад +1

      If they did one of the angels announcing the birth of Jesus to the shepherds. Have the shepherds be heads of lettuce, and sing "Oh come lettuce adore Him".

  • @feat.shanika
    @feat.shanika 5 лет назад +2

    4:00 🤣🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻 yes!!!

  • @shannonellefson444
    @shannonellefson444 7 лет назад +11

    Can someone please make mullet over a thing?