Also with 'clean girl', the concept of doing SO MUCH WORK to convince people you're not doing any work is a fantastic encapsulation of the paradoxes of 'women's work' in general. So essential, yet so unseen.
Telling us that you bathe once a week and that it takes 2 hours meant an incredible lot to me. I’ve been disabled since my teen years but have only in recent years begun to have real difficulty with bathing - it is SO EASY for it to feel like a moral failing to not be as clean as others are, as often as others are. Knowing someone like you who inspires me in my disabled life, bathes once a week too, is so relieving to hear honestly
We use a washcloth over a sink for armpits half the time. Sensitivities, time, energies... this helps feel clean and not be stinky so we have more spoons for the days we can have a shower or bath
@@zigzagperson lots of Able bodied folks (unless they grew up seriously off grid) don’t consider sink and washcloth baths to be ‘real baths’ even if they are very efficient.
This reminds me of an Archie comic that came out in the late 80s: Betty and Veronica hear that "no-makeup makeup" is in fashion; Betty goes home to wash her face, while Veronica goes to the store and buys a ton of products. They go to Archie, who exclaims about Veronica's clean, glowing skin, while telling Betty that she's wearing too much makeup and should tone it down. The comic ends with violence.
As soon as you started describing it, I knew exactly which comic you meant! I even recall Archie referring to a clean girl as being “clean, like a fresh-scrubbed apple!”
@@FloraGaleFlower I associate 'girl' with all the men who've used it against me tried to put me down because I'm a young woman. We have very different experiences and feelings about these words.
True, depends on how and who is using it too. To some, it can be an acknowledgement of a woman's inner child - the part of her that actually enjoys being alive. To others, it can be saying that a woman is incapable and not a human adult. I think we also have a dichotomy between "adult" and "child" where to be adult means suffering, so if you have fun (genuine, nonalcohol induced fun) you are seen as "childish".
Another (though admittedly much lesser) issue is that it helps perpetuate the idea that hygiene is inherently feminine. Which can result in things like grown men with severely internalized toxic masculinity going online to rant about things like real men having "skidmarks" in their underwear and bragging about not washing their hands.
I’m flashing back to “The Shape of Water.” The main villain thought washing his hands after using the toilet was a sign of weakness. This backfires horribly on him.
how crazy are these guys that for the sake of opportunism I AM NOT A GIRL!!! ready to walk around in dirty panties, Jesus cried they have no sanity whoever called them the "rational, logical gender" is crazy too
It's always hard for me to see the 'clean girl' aesthetic everywhere because as a CHILD I was bullied (edit: I remembered the exact word one girl called me which was "disgusting") for my oily slick back bun (which my indian predecessors have been doing for decades if not centuries). I had to tell my mum to stop doing my hair like that for fear of judgement and had not dared to walk out of the house looking like that for years afterwards, only for the same look to be co-opted and posted everywhere by a group (of mainly white women) in western society that suddenly changed it's mind about what I was ridiculed and traumatised by as a child. It always feels very unfair.
It really does. I can’t say I relate in that way but I’ve noticed similar with Black people’s features, and freckles. Heck I remember when having a big butt was seen as gross. Now everyone wants a huge butt. The hypocrisy is what sucks. One day you’re the bullied kid the next everyone wants to be you, except not you at all, a facsimile of your natural life.
I’m mixed race. My white mom hated the idea of oily hair, didn’t apply any on me, and complained that my hair was so hard to care for. When I started caring for my own hair, I found out oil is crucial for pain free maintenance.
In general white women think everything thry do and say is amazing. I know longer subscribe to this channel because I believe surrogacy is unethical but once in awhile Jessica will say something worth listening to...otherwise she embodies the Karen aesthetic of the typical white women know everything amd are always right no matter what.
girl the west stole so much from south asia as a whole:/ it's criminal how at the very least many black or latina creators talk about things they got bullied for being popularized while just yesterday i scrolled past a video of a white woman saying chai latte. south asian creators aren't doing enough
On the topic of historical cleanliness, Bernadette Banner has an excellent video on the history of western hygiene, and debunking myths surrounding “all people in history stank”
I haven't yet seen the video, but thanks for the rec!:) I'd say modern people misunderstand the outrage towards public bathhouses. Bathtubs in those could easily fit two people, and there was like a tray in the middle, so you could drink and have snacks with whoever you were bathing with. This meant a lot of prostitution and other types of naked bodies together was going on in the public baths... So yes, in that sense (and also the drinking, etc.) bathing was immoral. I don't know how hygienic those places were either. This has nothing to do with a small tub or a bucket you might have at home. But obviously even heating enough water takes time. This was still a thing a few decades ago, same as using a washcloth to wipe your armpits and such places. My grandparents only built an indoor toilet in 1980, but when I was a toddler, I'd be bathed in a bucket of water on the kitchen floor (when visiting my grandparents).
The people washed daily and bathed on Saturday and a hair wash. Pitchers and basins were in the bedrooms and chamber pots as well. A special cabinet hid the chamber pot. The people who wished to be clean were clean 🧼 and tidy.
To me the "clean girl" aesthetic feels extremely...boring? I don't want to look Subdued and Demure and Effortless. I want to look eccentric and fun. Because being fun takes imagination and inventiveness and also, the ability to pair up colours which aren't all neutrals.
Yes it is actually incredibly conservative. I feel the same about the 'French girl aesthetic'. Don't get me wrong, those looks are nice on photos, but too bland and boring to spend whole life wearing them.
@@asiapilch , it's extremely catering to the male gaze as well. A lot of cis hetero men hate a woman with an inkling of a personality showing in her style, because it means that she won't be as malleable to their wishes. Which makes this "barely there" makeup and inoffensive clothes double as BLAGH in my book. :D
@@asiapilchyes as someone who mostly does the “clean girl aesthetic” I do it because it’s conservative but still attractive. I work in a high end salon so I kinda have to do it. Sometimes I do a bold lip lol
I’m 34 and still have acne while simultaneously also getting fine lines. It sucks that you also are in the same situation as me and it’s also a little comforting to know that I’m not alone. With continuous birth control I am able to keep it at a manageable level but I admittedly do feel societal pressure to cover my acne to appear attractive or even just put together.
Highly recommend Rowan Ellis's video "The ugly truth of acne representation" Talks about how we as a society shame acne, the history, and even some shows that have acne portrayed in a more neutral way
Yeah, this trend made me feel so gross for having bad acne 🫠 It always felt like there was some magical product or diet I wasn't using, and like it was only happening because I wasn't putting in the effort.
Only halfway through the video, so if you end up saying this, I'll delete this comment, I just want to write it down before I forget: The clean, understated, "effortless" look that includes your "effortlessly" clean and beautiful home isn't even new in terms of white people's ideals - the 1950s called, they want their standards back! There are so many parallels - including the racism, which was a little more out in the open then but frighteningly, hasn't changed all that much...
Heck, even in the 1700s when it suddenly became possible to make white linen fabric, it was an instant status signal to be able to keep your white underclothes bright white. It's been in there a loooong time. 😢
I commented this under Shanespear's video as well when I originally watched it, but I will repeat myself here. Europeans in middle ages and before were much cleaner than what we give them credit for. they absolutely washed and cleaned on a daily basis, they just didn't "bathe" much. bathing meant a very specific act - fully submerging yourself in water. heating that much water was costly and time consuming, so it wasn't preferred. people instead washed with a wet cloth (and soap if they ad some) which gets you clean just as well. closing bathhouses during the plague also wasn't stupid, since those were places where diseases absolutely did spread. you didn't necessarily go to a bathhouse to get clean, you went there to sit in a tub of hot water that other people either previously sat in, or were currently sitting in with you. and the white linen shirts... yes they were a symbol of cleanliness, but that had a basis in actual cleanliness. linen fabric has anti microbial properties and is great at wicking moisture away from the body, perfect for working class people who sweat a lot. plus linen is very durable when wet, so it can withstand a lot of laundering. this made it the perfect underwear that kept people dry and kept their outer clothes clean. people didn't wear white linen shirts just to perform cleanliness, they wore them to actually be clean. it was simply the most practical and sensible thing to do for those people. Now, don't get me wrong, they were still very racist. they still believed bullshit about other cultures and there were definitely performative aspects of their clothes and looks and hygiene that were motivated by racism. but there is so much misinformation about the past and the people who lived long before us. and these myths about the stupid backwards people of the dark ages and the incredible progress and level of civilisation we have achieved since are just a different form of perpetuating white supremacist ideas.
....I fail to see how the idea of the unsanitary European is perpetuating white supremacy....considering the fact that contemporanious native American/Asian/African cultures were generally assumed to be more sanitary. Even today the prevalent stereotype is that white people are the ones who are fairly negligent about cleanliness/hygiene/ sanitation.
White linen shirts definitely did becomes a symbol ofnovercomsuption and status, and court protocols that required kings, queens, and other members of the upper nobility to change their clothes completely between activities played into that. Also, linen tends to yellow with time and use (which can be reverted a bit with deep washing and exposure to sunlight, but it takes time and a lot of manual labor at the time), so your shirts being always perfectly white did mean that you could replace them often = had money. But it was on top of linens being a decent way to keep clean (indipendently from your social class), not instead of it.
@@herlaqueen yea that's what I meant. That the basis for white linen shirts being a symbol of cleanliness is in actual cleanliness, it wasn't arbitrary. But of course a lot of stuff got piled up on top.
It's really hard to bring something like this up without making detractors think they have ammunition, but very true. More likes for OP, please. Plus, you can tell when a white undergarment is filthy with bodily secretions... although how much of that staining you can remove depends on the resources you have access to.
I'm so frustrated by the multiple aesthetics that seem to imply pastel and neutral colored clothes indicate the moral purity of the wearer. I used to not care about neutrals. They weren't for me, but now I hate them. My in-laws are size 1, super conservatively religious people who are, shocker, white. I'm a mixed-race person who adores jewel tones, and the closest to pastels I like is a nice turquoise. They have taken to setting color palette dress codes for family gathering "so the pictures look nice" but I do feel it's targeting only my husband and I and his brother who loves bright blue, too. There are generally 20-30 people at these gatherings, and we're the only ones who don't naturally gravitate to what I would call sad beige or white. They were "clean girls" before it was named. Now of course they're all in. In my family's cultures, cheerful colors are celebrated, and wanting to wear joyous colors of prints is never, for a moment, considered to indicate moral depravity. If it's a party, why not dress cheerfully? And life can be depressing, so if you have the energy to get dressed, why not in something that will make you smile? We were dopamine dressing since before it had a name. I was so thrilled at the rise of the term dopamine dressing, and at the proliferation of fun aesthetics we had for a while. It feels like every time we move in the direction of acceptance and glorifying self-expression, capitalism and racism and mainstream religions unite to oppress us again.
100% if I am at a party, I am walking up to the person dressed in colors and patterns. I know I will have a better time with them over someone dressed in all beige.
"They have taken to setting color palette dress codes for family gathering "so the pictures look nice"" gag, eff that, stand out in those pictures (and call them out if they post process away your color)
I've never heard of "dopamine dressing" before, but I 'm totally using that from now on! Silly graphic tees and comfy jeans for everyday, bright colors and patterns for special occasions. Your in-laws sound like a total drag. Keep doing you.
The whole idea that if you don’t look a certain way, you just “aren’t putting in enough effort” and are “lazy” will always be laughable. Being places on time is a lot of effort, getting homework done is a lot of effort, remembering to brush my teeth is a lot of effort. I don’t have time to do a full face of makeup everyday, and when I do, i *want* it to be noticeable, because I worked hard on it lmaoo.
Seriously the whole reason I don’t wear make-up is because the effort is too much. Same with hair. I never do my hair. I put it up if it needs to be out of the way and that’s it. Doing the things life requires is hard enough, I’m not wasting energy and time on decoration! Not saying it’s a waste for everyone, but for me it would be
@@DeathnoteBByeah, i’m someone who definitely enjoys wearing and doing my makeup, but I don’t do it often simply because it’s too much work with everything else i have to do everyday
I could wear makeup to work ..i'd sweat it straight off in the kitchen tho.. then I'd have panda eyes and a sweaty looking nose and lips like i've just been rescued from the Saraha lol .. I prefer to save my made up look for events .. those moments when people you work with say .. I didnt recognise you and smile
I love the idea of neutrality. I have depression, and positivity is so hard to achieve that it often feels impossible. Positivity can be toxic if you can't buy into the idea. But I don't know if I ever thought to shoot a bit lower to achieve a more realistic solution.
Body neutrality has helped me a lot as a depressed and chronically ill person. It takes the pressure out of pushing yourself into fake positivity. It’s a lot more realistic to achieve; at the moment my thought process is just “this is the body I have, I’ll try to make the best of it”. It helps to reframe that “push yourself as hard as you can” mindset that comes with the positivity side that is so so draining on our very limited energy levels. Sending lots of love and comfort your way. I hope you have an okay day 💕
@bec1.618 thank, I manage my depression pretty well nowadays. But it's really nice to hear others put it into words. "Fake it till you make it" as apt as it may be sometimes, is a soul sucking expression for folks with depression. Thank you for sharing! I hope you're well too!
Body neutrality seems a lot more attainable than body positivity. If you hate your body, it's going to be REALLY HARD to love it, but much easier to just feel neutral.
(I’m Laura, not Bob, we share an account) I was so happy when I found the body neutrality movement! I’m multiply disabled and AuDHD, and though I joke that I’m a genetic lemon, I’m actually not. If I remove my body issues, I have space in my brain for all the things I CAN do, and it makes days like today (migraine, pain, fatigue, nausea, all of which make me more absent-minded!) better, b/c I can draw, or write poetry, or play my piano, or just sit and read comments. The neutrality movement/community does so much more than say ‘it’s okay not to love my body’, it turns your brain to the things you do, not how you look, and then it says ‘actually, you don’t need to do anything to be enough!’. This is revolutionary at a time when not only are ppl being taught to ignore disability and celebrate bodies, but women are again being told they have to be constantly busy doing something improving to have worth. It can sound cynical, but body neutrality is okay with cynicism, just not hate. And, if you want, you can take it back to its roots and call it fat neutrality, b/c women’s bodies are constantly ‘too fat!’, even when they’re not. 💜
It’s so much more achievable to get to the point where you can feel sympathetic or affectionate toward your body (admittedly in an “oh honey” kind of way for me) if you allow yourself to just be neutral about it! Mine is not a glorious body, often not even a good body, but that’s not its fault and it’s doing its best, even though it’s chronically misguided sometimes. When I’m not pushed to love every bit of it, I can feel thankful sometimes to have the function that I do have, and feel frustrated by the function I don’t. It’s incredibly freeing.
this is genuinely something i needed to hear. i've been struggling with chronic illness + depression and the absolute disgust towards my own body is something that eats me alive. its really good to remember that societal beauty and cleanliness standards are not the end all be all and i wish more people would talk about it. i'm glad you did tho c:
I have two spoons today and that's not unusual. I have ME/CFS, Lupus, ADHD, Anxiety and am Autistic. Most days I don't even brush my hair. Thanks for making this video. Sending love.
Comorbitities are a bitch. I don’t have lupus, but I have the rest plus POTS, depression and fibromyalgia. Sending you love and comfort, and I hope you have an okay day 💕 (I find good days very rare, but okay to me is doable. So long as it’s not terrible, I’m satisfied)
Sorry if this seems insensitive, but I wanted to ask- what exactly IS Lupus? I have been googling to find out but it just tells me that it's an autoimmune disorder, but doesn't really say what it does. What does it target specifically, if anything? No worries if you don't feel comfortable sharing :)
@@maddie9117 the immune system attacks itself and healthy tissue, so you get fatigue, joint pain, rashes, fevers, bodily inflammation, and problems/damage to organs like your kidneys, skin, brain, heart and lungs, plus your blood cells and joints. It can be heavily affected by sun exposure as it triggers flare ups
As a nigh on 70 year old t-lady who has had her knee amputated 20 years ago I couldn't agree more with your comments about ableism. And gosh Jessica I absolutely adore your aesthetic and style. You're the woman I've wanted to be for the last 57 years ( giggle) 41:24
Linen actually has wicking properties and does help keep sweat, oil and dirt off of the body, Abby Cox has an excellent video about cleanliness in the past, they did clean themselves, just not the same way we do for accessibility and time reason, a bath without plumbing is time consuming
And somewhat importantly excessive showering is actually a huge hygiene problem that currently occurs because it causes massive imbalances of microbes on the skin leading to extreme BO 😅 Wash your hands regularly, and chill a little on the rest unless you have a specific medical condition that requires additional special care.
I am not a clean girl and have no desire to be one, who has the time for all that? The racism analysis was excellent especially appreciated that Jessica quoted so many people of color. Loved that Nina Tame was highlighted, she is bada$$ in so many ways. ❤
@@jennifers5560 yep, she is! The only I thing that was lacking was the connotation of the issue to Hi**er’s IIIrd Reich - they had their own “clean girl” aesthetic actually
It’s interesting but at the same time the slick ponytails and lip gloss from the late 90s and early 2000s weren’t just worn by black girls. We all did it. And I can tell you, 6th grade me wasn’t looking at someone and thinking they were gh*tto or ratchet or whatever. Maybe I’m just lucky where I grew up but the only racism we had came from the elders, boomers and their parents.
0:27 part of the reason i love punk so much ,, being slighty grimy is part of it (and cr!p punk encouraging decorating mobility aids and chaos music encorqgibg anti captalosm and community's care or at least the queer bands im listening to)
@danielle3064 Depends. Are you starting from scratch? If so, you need your 1970s DIY base, e.g., MC5, the Ramones, the Clash, the Sex Pistols and Patti Smith. Smith's first album, Horses, can rearrange one's whole mental furniture. Then there's 1990s grunge, which is when I started discovering music for myself. And if your town has a music scene at all, the most rewarding thing can be finding your local up and coming band.
35yo non-binary female (she/they) who was diagnosed with adhd at age 32. I mistakenly thought this would only be slightly relateable as I'm often unaware of many tiktok trends. I was so wrong! This brings me back to the era of the Pinterest or Instagram Mom ideal while I was a young mother and unaware of my adhd. The ideals were untainable for anyone, but no one was about to admit that they were struggling. Even now, I still forget to give myself grace when my adhd is getting in the way of functioning at a level I believe I should be but only have spoons for the bare minimum, or less. This was a great reminder to be kinder to myself and an eye-opener on the history behind these standards. I always enjoy your well thought out content!
I'm more interested in what I call "Vintage Fairy" it's basically a style I've cultivated for myself with twirly skirts, nature inspired prints/embellishments, and Colourpop's supershock eyeshadow in Moonwalk (still testing other lip products to see which I prefer.) I have found that the best way for me to look is by not following trends blindly, taking what I like, and leaving the rest.
That is so true! The best way to maximise money is by being true to yourself and following your own style, be it a hodge podge of all different styles and aesthetics YOU can sustain and are key parts to yourself.
"Women living with ADHD in a clean girl world is really hard" I definitely agree with that. I sometimes struggle with hygiene tasks like brushing my teeth and washing my face because im often distracted, forgetful, and prone to procrastination. I don't know where people get the energy to put on a full face of makeup let alone a 12 step skincare routine. Like Im just lucky if I remember to moisturize my face when I actually get around to using face cleanser. To top it off, I work 10 hour long shifts on my feet the entire work day. Some days I'm too tired and too sore to do anything other than eat dinner and then collapse in bed, skipping the shower or showering in the morning instead. Oh and to put a cherry on top of the clean girl shit sundae, I tried birth control last year and went from having only minor acne on occasion to my grandmother telling me "What happened to your face? You used to never have acne." I've never fully gone back to my normal skin and I have been off hormones for like a year. This why I dont follow these kinds of trends.
I essentially have no skin care routine. I pretty much gave up makeup during Covid, so dress up makeup is blush, mascara, eye liner, and under eye cover. If my face is dirty, I wash it with soap and throw some moisturizer on it. If it's clean, I'll just moisturize. I got caught shopping with friends by one of those makeup stores. She was talking about vitamins, tinctures, and all kinds of junk. After I had enough, I asked her how old she thought I was. She said early 50s. I told her I was in my mid 60's, so obviously, my non routine was working well.
Honestly it doesn't get mentioned enough, mainly because then they can't sell you stuff, that sometimes leaving your skin alone and letting it breathe can be the best treatment.
I wasn’t raised with a skin care routine and these days it’s hard for me to remember to just do basic care tasks. I’ve barely washed my face outside of the shower beyond when I feel like I need it and really only moisturize when my skin is really persistently dry. So far I’ve been pretty lucky to not need much care especially since I hate the feeling of lotion or anything like it on my skin
Some people are just lucky. The most important thing you can do to preserve your skin is wear sunscreen, which you should do to prevent skin cancer anyways. Other than that retinol if you wanna make a difference. Everything else is pretty much fluff.
I have a teething baby, I have had little sleep and certainly no warpaint on... And I was asked for ID at the supermarket. I could have hugged the lady serving me at the checkout! I'm 37! She made my blooming day.
@@sevenember3332I have the same problem with lotion. I typically use sweet almond oil on damp skin, follow that up with a small amount of moisturizer on the face and after washing my hands I use a small amount of Cetaphil lotion, primarily on the back of my hands, because I cannot stand how it feels to have any kind of lotion on my palm other than a very slight amount.
Thank you for the disabled skin care routine! I used to be a 30-minute skincare routine person (ah, college), but these days I'm happy if I wipe my face with a baby wipe.
I was so close to the end about not getting emotional, and then you had to go and say, "It's enough. You are enough." Things have been so hard for me for a long time, and yesterday was made with extra suck, that definitely made me feel not even close to enough in the eyes of someone who claims to love me. Thank you for this whole video, but double thank you for the words I needed to hear, even if they made me cry. You are an amazing woman, and even though you're almost a decade younger than me, I really look up to you. It's nice to take solace in a place where I know I will be accepted as I am, disabled, fat, my mental health in the absolute trash, but still someone that has value, even when I don't feel valuable. So, thank you again. I truly appreciate you.
@@hopegold883 The “I’m not like other girls” trope comes from implying that eschewing things that are “traditionally feminine” (makeup, dresses, etc) makes a person better than those “other girls” who do hold those interests. Not a single person here has said that, neither subtly nor outright. Sometimes it really is okay to just not be interested in a thing, as long as you don’t put down the people who are. 🤷🏽
Another skincare tip for low energy - some sunscreens are moisturising too. I use my moisturising sunscreen as the 2nd and last step, after washing my face with some water.
This. I’ve been a makeup artist for 10+ years and if you do your moisturizer/ sunscreen combo you are absolutely good to go. Just wash your face at some point too.
0:32 the point about Chronic illness (fellow spoonie here!) is very apt. It's even harder for people struggling be it with mental illness, poverty, health issues or anything else to live up to the standards of aesthetics or "that girl". Beauty standards are deeply connected to various forms (wealth, health, race, weight, etc) of privilege.
I like the aesthetic for myself, but I do recognize the issues and am not going to create content around it, etc. People should feel free to present themselves in a way that works for them and that they feel attractive in, whether that’s no makeup at all or the glammest of glam. It’s art, and it’s boring if everyone is trying to do the same thing!
I'm clean girl adjacent. I don't have the time or money to go all out on skincare, clean eating etc but I do a no-makeup makeup look every day for work and have my hair slicked back in a ponytail every day of my life (because it's low maintenance. I sleep in a ponytail so my hair doesn't become a rat's nest). I do the make-up because I've read enough articles to know that we're all judged on our appearance constantly and that if you look too glam you can get judged poorly and if you look too dressed down, tired, etc you get judged poorly and this can impact your job prospects and earning potential. I will absolutely spend the extra hour a day to look clean and polished because I want to survive in this capitalist hellscape as a disabled person with passing privilege.
@@nof9469I totally get your point but I personally feel better in the world when I feel attractive. I don’t think it’s that problematic to want to attract people to you.
This really made me re-examine myself again. I've grown up around a lot of terrible, oppressive ideas and I'm still working on that. Body neutrality is an amazing concept and I'm definitely immediately changing the way I speak to my chosen family and the way I encourage them to talk about themselves. Also, this is embarrassing but I almost started crying at the reassurance that I'm enough. I'm so glad for Jessica's videos, I'm able to actually consider these topics my depression would call heavy but in a way that doesn't make me feel like I've failed everything and everyone. Because I haven't, I'm still trying! Also, I might be boycotting Dove and Pears now. Yikes. Local made soap, here I come!
29:10 Currently studying neuroscience in Uni, and the one thing that one of my profs has drilled into my head is that if “stop being sad” and “stop doing drugs” and “go to the gym” were that easy, we would. Sadly, our brain chemistry oftentimes overpowers willpower, and for some reason so many people don’t seem to understand that. Going on walks outside, proper sleep, and proper hydration help general well-being immensely. But our brains are complicated structures, and may need extra help sometimes. We should really stop thinking so heuristically when it comes to certain issues.
I really felt this, especially the part about how hard this stuff can be with ADHD, I still feel shame on those days when I don't manage to shower but knowing I'm not alone helps
This video is SUPER validating! Thank you! Honestly, I have trouble just committing to an SPF routine because of my AuDHD/depression/anxiety. I always feel like I’ll be called out for “laziness,” or like I’m waiving my right to sympathy if I get sunburned (or worse), but it’s legitimately really hard for me. Going out the door always involves forgetting *something* and my system feels like it’s on constant soft-overload just from remembering to take my meds/put my phone in my bag/put on socks if I plan to wear non-sandal shoes/decide what shoes I’ll wear in the first place… Plus, the greasiness/stickiness of sunscreen, the need to really rub it in if it’s mineral, the fear of getting it on my glasses/clothes/in my hair, or missing a spot anyway… I’m still working on the neutrality and self-generosity aspect of it all.
J-beauty or K-beauty sunscreens may be a nicer fit for you, if the texture is an issue! They tend to have lighter textures, more like a lotion or serum. Lab Muffin Beauty Science has several videos about different brands. I personally use Shiseido and have for many years, but it is expensive and may not be the best option for some because of that. There are definitely cheaper options out there! (Also, there's no rule about when you need to do your sunscreen/skincare. It might be "ideal" to do it in the morning but the sunscreen police aren't going to come for you if you do it later in the day, or if you keep a tube by your front door or in your car/bag so you always put it on before you leave the house. You're also allowed to have multiple tubes and stash them all around like Chapsticks if that helps) Wishing you luck with everything 🩷
Clearly the makeup look is seeking to capture the dewy glow of a fresh shower...it's odd to make a the jump that anyone that seeks to capture that look is seeking to make a negative statement about other people.
I find it funny that I’m unintentionally somewhat doing the “clean girl” look because when I leave the house, I am often, in fact, fresh from the shower with no makeup and wet hair pulled back in a high bun. As far as clothes go, definitely not. I’m in a transitional period with my weight so my clothes don’t fit me well and I like having some saturated colors in my life
@@FunkyLittlePoptart "capturing" a look is not the same thing as literally looking like the exact thing. The dewy after glow of a shower is pretty but ephemeral that why they seek to emulate it via make up look that takes about as much time as any other.
(Laura Mellin, not Bob) Thank you for pointing out and quoting women of colour and Black women! I remember when the Kardashians were constantly lauded for their look, and thinking ‘wait, that look was called a bad word when Black women wore it!’. The smoothed back hair, the big earrings, the long nails, the neutral colours (nude, my lily-white flat butt! That’s beige!), then the lip fillers and the BBLs - this is all Black and Latina fashion! I am very, very white (spf100, and my meds make me near vampire levels of sun sensitivity), but I’m 54, I have eyes, and my long-term memory is pretty good. I remember when all of that was considered low class (which is racist as heck), not white-girl trendy. The worst is that the BIWoC who originated the look are still considered less than the white girls who do it. Grrr!😡 Love your channel!💜
@@robertmellin6495 Hear, hear! All of this. I'm also 54, very white and - unrelated, but "my lily-white flat butt" made me giggle. And yes, "nude" being automatically beige is racist af.
watching this on a day where i feel so gross because i've been wanting to wash my hair for like 5 days but i haven't had the energy (i'm hopeful for tomorrow). i feel all of this so much, especially so much of the "body positivity" bit. i've heard people trying to remove the part that equates it with beauty and looks by saying "just think about what your body can _do_, how it helps you" and i'm just like "well i hurt my thumb flushing the toilet today, my index finger from clicking the mouse too hard, my knee from ???, and i'm immensely fatigued. i'm having trouble doing anything, so telling me to be happy about my body's abilities isn't the helpful advice you think it is"
These things really do take a lot of energy! Body neutrality can be helpful: this is the body I have right now. Let's do our best to look after it and live our life.
I always love your videos. Im not a clean girl or any kind of girl, im a woman and adult female. Im not a girly or a child. Thank you for making this video!
Jessica, this might be one of your best ones yet. The number of times I found myself gasping out loud with relief that somebody finally put it into words, the exclamations of "yes!!!!!" and other similar things when you pointed out the awful context behind the "clean girl" standard being the new "good enough" standard, and ALL of the intersectional aspects... I genuinely feel like this one was a real sit-down therapy session for us all. Special mention to the ADHD part too as that is soooo mired in my brain as part of the negativity spirals I have about myself. So much love to you and I can't wait to show this to everyone who agrees to watch it. Thank you, endlessly ❤
Would HUGELY recommend Shanspeare's video essay if you enjoyed this too! It's called "The Downfall of 'Anti-Hygeine' Influencers' and it's linked in the description for this video :D
I really relate to this. I have EDS too along with many other chronic heslth issues & disabilities so this is pretty much impossible for me to achieve, too. I also want people to know and see I am wearing make up if i ever do wear it because it takes effort. I also started making my own clothes from last year which tend to be made from.fabrica with bold colours and patterns, usually galaxy or lightning. I am very happy to just embrace what I like. I'm also autistic (diagnosed as an adult) & have never really conformed to beauty standards or trends & I am thankful for that❤ Also so much yes for the body neutrality stuff. I am so tired of people saying I'm not disabled. I hate the "differently abled" brigade. No amount of positive thinking will make my body work 100% of the time. I have a heart problem where I was born missing a valve & will need more open heart surgery in future. I can't positive think a valve to grow (Atrioventricular septal defect if anyone is interested)
Such a nexus of perfectionism and beauty standards. I love the characters you play to get at the deeper nuance of a topic. The religion of cleanliness is a real problem. Society seems confused about it and conflates a tool as an ideology. 😮
Some of your history of European cleanliness sections was off-base. Popular history writing pretty much always over-emphasizes "Christians didn't bathe and were dirty!" because it's sensational and shocking. Yes, hermits out in the wilderness thought that. That doesn't mean it was a mainstream thing to just be dirty at any point in time. And yes, bathhouses were closed because of the plague, but that doesn't mean that people just didn't clean themselves. You can get yourself just as clean with a sponge bath as you can immersing yourself in a tub of hot water, but it's a lot quicker and easier to do a sponge bath if you don't have running water. As for "believing that white linen would keep you clean" that's because it does. People have done studies on it. They wore undyed linen next to their skin not because white=clean but because undyed=easier to clean. Laundry in those days meant "boiling the hell out of it, using harsh soaps, and beating it with sticks." Before the 19th Century, any garment that was dyed was not meant to be regularly laundered, because washing it would wash the dye out (they didn't have very good mordants). If you wear a clean linen shirt/shift next to your skin and change it each day, that will absorb all your sweat and skin oil and you won't need to wash the clothes that went on top of the linen layer. That plus a washcloth + soap and water will keep you decently clean. That's a general overview, but it's also important to remember that Europe is not a monolith and standards of cleanliness varied. Medieval England was noted for its poor hygiene by other Europeans, mostly because English cities were later to adopt things like sewers and other infrastructure needed for cleanliness. Once you got into the Industrial Revolution, standards of cleanliness went down because poor people were being crammed into slums in cities instead of living in country villages. Clean water and soap are relatively easy to get in rural villages--if there's no water, they don't build a village there, and you can make soap yourself. But slums often had very poor access to clean water, and no way for people to make soap themselves, they had to buy it, which they couldn't afford. And also, the slums were right next to the factories that were polluting the hell out of everything and getting grime everywhere. Given that, middle-class and wealthy people looked down on poor people for being so clean and decided it was a moral fault and not, you know, the fact that they were exploited and forced to live in inhumane conditions.
I wasn’t quite prepared for how validating this video would feel! Thank you, Jessica, for giving voice to the realities of living with disabilities! And for connecting that to the racism and capitalism and all the other moving parts of our society’s beauty standards that lead us to feel not good enough!
I found your channel quite a while ago, and I felt so heard when you talked about ADHD struggles. Even though I didnt relate, I internalised your messages on EDS and chronic illness. So when I found out I have ADHD, POTS, and suspected EDS, I did not feel like my life was over. I discovered I will need mobility aids much younger than most because of all the damage from dislocations. but because of YOUR channel, I still do not feel disheartened. What you're doing is so appreciated
@@fromtheothersidee111Yeah it always felt weird to me, as if girls who don’t look like that _aren’t_ clean. And like, myself personally, I do need to take more showers, but most people don’t need to be called dirty for just existing as they are
Extra weird with the term's longer internet history of (manosphere, gamergate type) videogame modders "cleaning up" female characters in games to make them look more conventionally voluptuous, nude, and white. I can only imagine it's the same type men, if not cosmetics brand execs, and not the influencers themselves who coined the style's name.
@@disneyprincessintraining2725I think there aren't, but we can always try to make a change by suggesting alternative names. I personally call it "Neat Girl" because at the end of the day it just looks neat.
@@disneyprincessintraining2725 Vanilla aesthetic looks really similar (she also mentioned it in the video), but I don't know if it's valid to use it in the place of "clean girl"
“Have you tried physical therapy?” Yes, I have! It worked but it left me with exhaustion I recovered from in time for my next session. Oh, and insurance only covered the first five appointments and left me with a $900 bill for the rest!
“Have you tried yoga?” “Have you tried Pilates?” “You should walk more” “You should take ‘random supplement’ it helped my auntie with her condition that is completely unrelated to yours…” “Have you tried changing your diet?” “Pain meds are really bad for you, you know. Try eating a banana every day instead” “Maybe if you lost a bit of weight, that would help you, your medication causing it is no excuse” (After being told repeatedly my condition is permanent) “How’s “x”, getting any better?” “Just push through the pain.” “Doctors don’t know everything you know” (No, but they know more about it than you) “Can you not just do your hydrotherapy in the bath?” That last one…couldn’t believe it when they said that to me! 😂 I was so shocked I just said “Ummmm….no, it’s not as big as pool”
@@ericadrake387 When I was discussing my conditions with my stepmom and telling her I take prescription meds for them, she responded with, “You shouldn’t taking all those medications!” There were about four of them. So I was beyond done with trying to help her understand what I was going through and asked her, “Are you part of my medical team? Are you there with me when I go to my appointments? No, you aren’t, so stop telling me what I need to do!”
This isn't really related to the topic of the video, but I just want to say that I am very grateful for you and your video's, Jessica! I was always convinced (by others and myself) that it was stupid or uncool to love looking pretty, fashion and make up. Seeing you loving pretty dresses and make-up has helped me understand that I can love those things in a non-superficial way! I now speak very enthousiasticly about dresses and skirts I would like to wear and wear make-up without thinking that is dumb, because it most certanly is not! Thank you for that ❤
I love Jessica but I often find it hard not to compare myself as a disabled person because she is slim and looks put together. I feel like i should be as successful, slim and pretty. No fault of hers as I know she mostly makes videos on good days but sometimes i wish people who ARENT disabled would stop comparing me to inspiring disabled people...because then it makes me do it too
That makes a lot of sense! Many disabled people don't look like her, and don't have the energy/ resources to run a RUclips channel. And that's fine. I'm glad she's here to advocate, and that she lives her life as she wants.
I love fashion AND my style is often “How can I make these pajamas look cute” because of my sensory processing issues and PTSD (the stress is terrible for my immune system). I’ve always viewed skincare products as a way to support my body in ways it can’t support itself, because it’s too busy exerting energy elsewhere. However, that’s still a luxury I have because I live with my family who provides for me. I am thin, white, and cis-passing. The “Clean Girl” aesthetic (though, not my thing) has always been so accessible to me. I think it’s 100% more about “conventional beauty” (based in racism, sexism, ableism, transphobia, fatphobia, homophobia etc) than it is about being legitimately clean, like you said, which is terrible. Thank you Jessica, for educating me, and many others (while also looking out for other people). Another channel I like made a video about Fatphobia, its roots in racism, and the history of things like BMI. Their RUclips channel is called Mickey Atkins (a therapist) and I really recommend it (especially for fellow white people like me who don’t know all of these things-like I didn’t know about the things in this video). This is just a bunch of ADHD-induced rambling, but a short PS: What’s up with the body hair again?!? My body hair protects me as it’s intended to do-it serves a purpose that (even small) helps me stay healthy. It’s so infantilizing and gross that a natural part of our body is deemed as unclean-especially when it serves the purpose of helping keep you clean. Ugh!
Thank you Jessica for the kind way you approach this subject! As many can attest, these beauty trends seem surface-level at first but quickly get very personal and ver complicated. I used to spend a lot of energy and money with the mindset "just buy x products and do x steps and *just be clean* then I will have no acne" which is suuuper frustrating because no matter what I do my acne stays with me. It took me leaving social media to really accept the idea that my acne is a natural part of me and I can feel neutral about it. Instagram especially was always enforcing this idea that I could solve my acne with more money and effort and I am happy to live knowing that my fragile and oily skin *doesnt need to be solved*. Hopefully more people can learn that body neutrality is an option because personally, it gave me so much peace of mind
Did you think Jessica was saying you _should_ worry about it? I think she just wanted people who see this trend to be able to think about it critically.
As a depressed and disabled woman, even as a girl I've noticed that those trends pass too quickly, and that they aren't me. I like to make an effort, but on my own terms, and definitely not with small dainty jewelry or neutral colours, on the contrary, with bright and dark colors, blue hair and a lot of self-made jewelry. So I think ur doing everything correctly imo, running after every trend just signals to me that they haven't found themselves, and what they truly like. It's wonderful if u can be urself and don't depend on what's in fashion at any time, it's so freeing and much more sustainable.
I think the secret about being a woman that nobody talks about is that most of being a woman is spending your life trying to figure out what you actually like and are while the rest of world screams at you about who they think you should be in the most derogatory and shaming way possible. Welcome to the club, honey. Being a trans woman means you already got the chutzpah to be who you really are, and I take inspiration from your bravery.
@jennifers5560 Probably being sugar babies or living off of their stream donations 🙄 the rest of us have day jobs and real responsibilities, that take plenty of effort and time in their own right.
the exhaustion that stops me washing my hair, the inability to do even a simple skin care routine sometimes, thank you for saying that we are enough when we can't cope - plus, dry shampoo is excellent
I totally get being too tired to wash your hair. I get that feeling too. If you have a hair school nearby you should try to go in for blowouts there. It’s super cheap or free and someone else can wash your hair for you!
this video is super timely with what i've been going through and thinking a lot about lately! i got diagnosed with adhd and autism less than a year ago after really hitting rock bottom with burnout, depression and lifelong anxiety. ive never liked showering but have kept up with it most of my life since it was expected of me. however burnout and depression really impacted my ability to keep up with all sorts of hygiene things in the last couple years. ive had a lot of mixed feelings around it but trying to be kind to myself. but last week my therapist suddenly tells me that sometimes i smell kinda bad. and it really threw me for a loop. it took two days to just to get out of the shock of it all, and i still don't really know what i feel. a small part of me is glad to know since ideas about hygiene and a person's value are super ingrained in many people's minds and i want to know/have some control of what people think of me. but more and more i think i'm starting to feel annoyed and disappointed. my therapist's comment really rattled me and i was so consumed with shame that i couldn't bring myself to talk to anyone about it, despite usually being fine sharing almost anything. i dont really have a conclusion to this as i'm still processing, but ideas about cleanliness have definitely been on my mind a lot.
Linen is a natural fabric which naturally wicks away moisture, which is why it was used in shift as the fabric against a person skin. It would wock away sweat and help regulate body temperature and lastly protect your "proper" clothes, who often weren't as washable, from your sweat. It was white so that it could be boiled and bleached to clean it. The reasons for the white linen shift, at it's basis, are practical.
Re: the plague, they may have been wrong about the reason that communal bath houses were spreading disease, but not the fact they were. Washing yourself doesn't prevent catching something when you do it in close quarters with other people you don't live with -- it probably did make it worse. So I don't blame them for deciding that washing might be dangerous. In cold parts of Europe, bathing by submersing yourself in water at home in the winter wouldn't have been possible to do safely for most people (heating the water, having a warm space to dry). So they used other strategies for keeping clean, like scrubbing with dry, clean linen cloths. We're super obsessed with dunking in water as a symbol of cleanliness today, and it feels like it's some big statement about racism to say "Europeans were the dirty ones actually" but is that really helpful? It still positions not bathing constantly as being dirty and gross and puts even more pressure on people of color to keep up with unmanageable routines.
It’s also like a lot of “Ha ha ha look at how dumb and silly those people in the past were. We’re all now smarter because we are modern people and we definitely aren’t still making the same mistakes our ancestors did. Because people in the past were all stupid and people now are smarter than that.”
I disagree. Most non white people view this as resounding evidence against eurocentrism. It's a very popular to joke about the longstanding lack of sanitation amongst certian white people (anglos and hippies).
Something that still infuriates me to this day is this one time when I told a teacher of mine that I have autism and sensory processing issues that are disabling to the way that I do some things, and they told me "You can do it! You're not disabled, you're just differently abled!".
Man I so needed this today. My grandmother died earlier this week and it's been rough. I'm already physically and mentally disabled so having to through some extra depression symptoms on top of everything has just made existing such a challenge. I hope I can someday find myself with disability neutrality but that feels far off when everyday is still such a struggle. I'm only just unlearning that my mental handicaps aren't my fault after a whole life if treating them as though they were my personal intolerable flaws that made me undeserving of human decency. I will be investing in makeup wipes, and kehils skincare.
As someone with chronic illness, holy fuck did I need someone to talk about how I simply can’t compare myself to or strive for able bodied standards and classists goals. Bravo. Thank you.
I'm so glad you are covering this topic and its intersection with racism, capitalism and fatphobia, on your platform Jessica. It's really important and I've shared the video with so many people since it dropped last week.
And it starts so young too. I am a teacher and some girls didn't want a certain colleague to be their class tutor because she didn't wear any makeup!! That must have been the dumbest shit I have ever heard. (A year later they did get her as a tutor btw and loved her all the same, and they felt bad for thinking that)
I'm so glad my mom or my older sister never taught me anything about make up. We don't even have any make up in the house. I got into the beauty content now, at 17, adopted a quick daily routine that finally got rid of most of my acne and I'm so glad I was raised to not care about all that so now I am actually thinking stuff through. And after looking through youtube, seeing people talking about make up and how to look good... I haven't changed my mind about make up not being necessary and more of a hobby nobody should be forced into. And it's scary seeing so many people believing everything they see and rushing to buy all that expensive stuff. Just... nah. I'm fine with just doing my best to have healthy skin, looks good enough for me. Might be also the fact that my autism and ADHD would make it a really big challenge to stick to a longer routine. I don't have the energy to care about every single milimeter of my look Also the quote about ADHD made me realise how much progress I've made in just remembering to shower daily and then keep up a daily short hygiene routine, so now instead of thinking about what should I do more I'm glad I've come so far so... thanks for sharing it
I wish I was taught basic hygiene and skincare as a teen. I was doing everything wrong, trying to strip my skin of oils with harsh, drying cleansers. No moisturizer because I thought that would make my acne worse. Popping pimples with a pin dipped in antiseptic fluid. Washing my hair too often or not enough with the wrong products for my hair type. Now I'm permanently scarred. At least my skin is healthier now and I can hide a lot of the scarring with makeup. RUclips is a godsend. I've learnt so much about proper skin and haircare from actual professionals.
I love you for showing yourself in the morning without makeup and it just somehow made this channel a bit more relatable to me and that means we needed this message! Thank you JKF!
This is such a fantastic video, so well researched and articulated, whilst staying entertaining the whole time. Honestly the fact that I have paid attention thoroughly for the whole video when I have so little spoons left says a lot. Thank you, thank you so much for lifting away shame and educating us.
It's important to add that the ideals of Victorian cleanliness was imposed on young white women as well, whether they wanted to follow those rules or not. Some of author Louisa May Alcott's struggles were against these very rules of being pure, soft, and untouched. Adding to that, the idea of an increased need for cleanliness started from a very good place: public health. It was known that household and personal uncleanliness showed a link to increased disease (while in no way understanding why this was the case). But the movement for people to be cleaner was co-opted to express privilege instead. Not only were people of color and foreigners considered dirty, but the poor were especially believed to be filthy and thanks to the willful misunderstanding of Darwin's theory of evolution, it was all believed to be their own fault. Not having enough resources to afford soap was a moral failing, rather than a societal one. And this "clean girl" look is just another iteration of that same concept. History never repeats, but it constantly rhymes.
I was literally looking for a video explaining basically how to do clean girl aesthetic, and your video popped up and I'm so grateful that i watched it. It's been a long time i received so much positive or grounding messaging about beauty standards and self-care. Your video was a great reminder that struggling with some things because of depression or ADHD is actually ok and enough. So thank you :)
I’m only 3 mins in and the Clean Girl aesthetic/life style just screams 50s housewife: the idea that you must always be perfectly polished and never complain about how much work it takes.
I appreciate you for saying all this. I’m constantly exhausted. I work two jobs to make ends meet, I take care of my kid, I maintain the house, I take care of my four disabled parents, and there are still people around me, telling me I’m not doing enough. That I should’ve done this this week, or I should’ve had enough time for that. Screw them. I’m doing my best, so is everyone, and we’ve got this. And now, I’m going to get some much deserved sleep.
I always learn from you Jessica. This one really hit home as I deal with all the changes in my body through the years and as I watch my 13 year old granddaughter grappling with how to achieve 'perfect glowing' skin.
Another EDS/POTS and probably ADHD according to 4 different doctors woman here and thank you for making this video. I couldn’t put into words why the clean girl trend made me feel icky but you have. I’m glad I’m not the only one who feels like they are falling short. On a side note the only things that helped my acne prone skin was not being a teenager anymore and being sufficiently hydrated and still get them sometimes. The aesthetic is not possible for everyone and we’re not lazy or useless for everyone else feeling like this.
As you mentioned this isn't new. I remember growing up it was a woman's job to be the best mom ever, making homemade healthy meals, getting her kids out the door to a variety of extra curricular activities, volunteer in the PTA, have a perfectly clean house, beautiful garden, a thin body, excellent fashion sense and dote on her husband and make it look easy. I'm sure it was true before my childhood too. Same old misogyny (be perfect, don't complain) new package.
That ADHD story really touched me. I really struggle with day to day hygiene. While I try through forgetting or a lack of energy I often skip out on a few things. One thing to add, is I really struggle with showers. As well as the process, the initial feeling of the water hitting my skin in that way makes me so uncomfortable. I'd have a bath but I'm too fat and the water barely covers my body so its not relaxing. I don't have a diagnosis yet (have been waiting for years for a diagnosis, so have given up at this point), but I'm 90% sure I'm neurodivergent. And through a lack of energy and focus, to sensory sensitivities, hygiene is always a struggle. So I'm happy to hear I'm not the only one,
Hygiene is a huge issue for me too, I relate to a lot of what you said. I’m on the other end of the scale, I’m too bony and can’t put on enough weight, so it hurts to sit or lie down in a bath because it feels like it’s bruising my bones. Neurodivergence and chronic illnesses have a huge overlap, and almost always have comorbidities; we’re often dealing with so much more than “healthy” or “normal” people, so it’s no wonder we struggle so much with hygiene. I’m working really hard to remind myself of that, especially when I haven’t been well enough to properly shower for a month. Sending you love and comfort 💕 I hope you have an okay day
You could look into getting a soak tub. They're a Japanese style tub that you use in a seated position which are taller and have a more square or circular footprint. They require much less water to fill and are popular with bustier ladies because the water level is high enough that it covers their bust. I've seen collapsible, fold away versions so you don't necessarily have to remodel your whole bathroom to get one installed. I'm not sure how affordable they are though.
@@gabriellehitchins9182 that’s basically what I do, but it’s a bit hard to keep my hair clean like that so I do have to have a proper shower once in a while to wash it properly
Sensitive skin baby wipes are your friend for the days when the thought of showering is overwhelming and exhausting. Dry shampoo and using a wooden comb can help get you through until you can manage to wash your hair. Hope this helps
I so appreciate that you mentioned and referenced Shanspeare's video on anti-hygiene influencers! They're such a great creator, and that video in particular is fascinating.
Personally, I’d heard the difference between body positivity and body neutrality as, confidence through beauty versus confidence through the function of your body, which as a disabled person never really appealed to me. So I kinda gave up on both and went with just expressing myself without much concern to my body and honestly not thinking about it helps
The "you are always enough" in the end got me. I always feel like I am not trying enough because I don't have a visible, physical disability, and discovering my autism only at 21 years old, I spent all my life trying to do things as if I wasn't disabled. This obviously took a massive toll on me and now I am still figuring out how to manage my things and some days I just cannot do it all. I cannot bring myself to work out, to cook a proper meal, to shower. And it felt so validating to see someone else I admire saying that they struggle too and that I am still enough when I cannot do those things.
Yeah, I’m old enough to remember that “clean girl” aesthetics were what WOC were rocking in the 90’s-2000’s (Brandi, JLo, Ciara, Rihanna all did the sleek hair, hi-status all-white fit, “natural” makeup, neutral acrylics, and demure, incredibly expensive jewelry first.) Then Becky with the IG came along and vultured it up.
Wouldn't that mean that the girls popularizing the clean girl look were children/preteens durring JLO's peak...meaning that they are just echoing the beauty standards of their childhood?
I think it's really important to analyse if the problem exists outside of the internet. In this case, in real life, do you pay attention who is living according to the Clean Girl Aesthetic? If yes, why? Do you judge or feel judged when you or someone you know is not conforming with the "clean" look? If yes, why? As someone who grew up obsessed with makeup and then got too tired and lazy (sleep over everything) to almost give up even sunscreen, I see all this trends as things that come and go, that don't affect me in real life (adult with a in office job and loads of things to do), and that other people around me don't even know that this trend exists! Parents, uncles, ants, siblings and even same age coworkers... Everybody too busy to care. So, I highly recommend getting some perspective on this so you can analyse the situation in your lifestyle. (Super informative video as always with reflections that surpass the trend itself)
Literally five minutes ago I turned on the shower closed the curtain and decided I was too scared to do it. I keep track of the amount of days I can go without showering every week because I absolutely hate it. I have ADHD, gender dysphoria and autism. Seeing my own body without anything covering it sends me into a panic attack. The texture of the water on my skin is so horrible and I just can't do it enough to be considered normal. So, yes, this video is very true, very good and refreshing to hear
Maybe you can shower with clothes on? Atho I don't know how you feel about wet clothes. Another option could be showering in the dark,early morning,or evening when the light is dimmer. Regardless I wish you luck on your bathing journey.🫡
I don't think I've heard of "body neutrality" before (even though it makes complete sense). I love this! Far and away more mentally healthy than "body positivity"!
38:43 For those with hEDS and MCAS: Many of us struggle with reactions to perfumes and a lot of beauty or skin care products contain perfume. This can make it hard to find low energy skin care products like Jessica speaks about. I wanted to raise that Essano, a NZ skincare company, has many products you can find work for sensitive skin because they're low or no perfume and those that do have a fragrance are natural not synthetic, another thing we tend to react to when products claim to be "naturally scented" (because this hides/confuses whether they mean it's scented by natural ingredients or scented to smell like natural ingredients). But be careful to check the ingredient list because their newer products are unfortunately leaning away from this practice, so my position on their products may change overall in the future if they keep phasing out products that work for people with sensitive skin and mcas. The other is product is Witchhazel. Witchhazel, the natural ingredient from the plant, is a natural skin toner and helps wound healing as a free bonus. It has a slightly strong unperfumed scent at first but it doesn't last on the skin and you become almost next day used to it. The one I buy has a small amount of alcohol in it and I find using this balances when my skin can be combination or oily (mostly in hot Aussie summertime) but it also helps with wound healing because it keeps the wound clean, dries it out, and then the Witchhazel acts as a natural healer on top of that. I use it because, like Jessica, my skin is very fragile and prone to scratching and the witch hazel helps the slow healing process go a little faster and heal quite a bit better than if I didn't use it (but not perfectly, our hEDS can't be overcome magically, unfortunately). I hope these can be of help. On a very low spoon day I try to be kind to myself with reminding myself that a face wipe isn't the cop out beauty sales people keep trying to push on me. It gets the job done and makes me feel a little better and that's what matters. If I can also manage the Witchhazel, fabulous. And if I can do the wipes, Witchhazel and a moisturiser/night/day cream (including spf when going outside at all) then that's a good day. If I manage all of that plus eye creams or other things I like using that's a great day. Sometimes doing these things you'll get one spoon of energy back in mood boost for the however many you expend, other days you won't. No matter what the day brings with spoon use and what you're able to do or not do you are a valid person who matters. I know this video helped me, I hope it helps others. And I hope the products I've mentioned might help people.
i don't do tiktok but kinda figured that at best, the idea that looking like you're not wearing makeup would be "clean" if we're slut shaming women who visibly wear makeup. makes sense with all the racism too
I have a 2.5 year old and a 3 month old and, just yesterday, went on Pinterest to get ideas for holiday gifts which led me down a spiral of skincare and makeup and the sudden feeling that I have let myself go because of the fact that I don't wear makeup anymore (or usually find the time to get out of pajamas for the day or shower every day). I kept getting pushed the clean girl "no makeup makeup look" and started clicking on products and immediately got overwhelmed by the number of steps and the price tag... I could not have found this video at a better time. Thank you for this work you do, Jessica!
“Clean girl” makes me think of what they call “beauty base zero” in the Mockingjay book. What it would look like if a person got out of bed looking flawless. So it’s a false impression of perfection.
I am not happy with my body. I certainly don't love it. However, since I spend most of the day in my bedroom, where there are no uncovered windows, I don't feel that I need to put sun screen on. Yeah, I go outside and I live in Texas, but I figure if all those years horse riding in the days before sunscreen, I have pretty much made myself exposed already. Mom had 2 kinds of skin cancer and my brother has had melanomas removed, but they spent way more time outside in their later life than I have. And, I'm with you about bathing, I literally spent most of todays spoons yesterday. And I need to save spoons to go see a friend on Saturday. We have been meeting up for a few hours once a month trying to find a place between where she lives and where I live. This trip is a longer drive for her than for me, but before she leaves for home she gets to pick up some food for herself and her brother. She might even pick up something for her sister. Yes, they live together. But I get to drive through the road construction and she doesn't.
This is really what I needed to hear today. I've been struggling a lot lately to keep up a self-care routine, that includes feeding myself, & hearing you & others express similar things made me feel less alone. Thank you for the work that you do & for sharing ❤
The thing with needing assistance to bathe hit me hard. I was so constantly frustrated with not being able to bathe somehow daily. Sponge baths are great. They’re functional, it helps become more comfortable and if you don’t have the time and energy to do that it’s okay.
my life got piledrived by contamination OCD, im lying on the floor rn, haven't showered in weeks, waiting for tomorrow to come so i might be able to have a shower. if i wasn't on fluoxetine; this vid would hav me balling my eyes out (in a good way) thank you, i really needed this i don't know how to get across how good feels to have someone like you* say this, i feel like a human, who just is. i gotta show this video to my gf, it's too important to me not to also: im a trans woman, don't think i didn't notice how you support us💗😘💗 also also: i really appreciate that you acknowledged that ocd is thrown around to jokingly/carelessly, most just don't care & treat it like a joke & not A CHRONIC MENTAL ILLNESS sorry if this comment makes no sense, i don't have the spoons to fix it lol, i love you bye
You just bring tears to my eyes with your words. We - women of all sorts - are so set up by society. Amazing is what you are, and I don't even care what face cream or shampoo you use! Thanks so much for all your positivity!
Also with 'clean girl', the concept of doing SO MUCH WORK to convince people you're not doing any work is a fantastic encapsulation of the paradoxes of 'women's work' in general. So essential, yet so unseen.
I agree, why does everything have to look like it was easy? I want credit when I do something that was hard to do!
Yeah like excuse me I wanna look like a crow dressed or a gremlin dressed me. Mr. Darcy is always on the table as well. I want to be extra
Its this idea of looking effortless to make other people jealous of you. And also to make men think you are low maintenance.
Ughh nail on the HEAD with this one, you put it so well 👏
@KC-2049 fr 😭😭😭 Janitors are so under appreciated, I love them with all my heart
Telling us that you bathe once a week and that it takes 2 hours meant an incredible lot to me. I’ve been disabled since my teen years but have only in recent years begun to have real difficulty with bathing - it is SO EASY for it to feel like a moral failing to not be as clean as others are, as often as others are. Knowing someone like you who inspires me in my disabled life, bathes once a week too, is so relieving to hear honestly
We use a washcloth over a sink for armpits half the time.
Sensitivities, time, energies... this helps feel clean and not be stinky so we have more spoons for the days we can have a shower or bath
@@zigzagperson lots of Able bodied folks (unless they grew up seriously off grid) don’t consider sink and washcloth baths to be ‘real baths’ even if they are very efficient.
@@gabriellehitchins9182 yeah, that's why I don't tell people who aren't close to me we do that.
What they don't know, keeps us bully-free (from this)
Wipes are a godsend
❤❤❤
This reminds me of an Archie comic that came out in the late 80s: Betty and Veronica hear that "no-makeup makeup" is in fashion; Betty goes home to wash her face, while Veronica goes to the store and buys a ton of products. They go to Archie, who exclaims about Veronica's clean, glowing skin, while telling Betty that she's wearing too much makeup and should tone it down. The comic ends with violence.
As soon as you started describing it, I knew exactly which comic you meant! I even recall Archie referring to a clean girl as being “clean, like a fresh-scrubbed apple!”
Yup! Tale as old as time. I remember the 2000’s version was magazines and photoshop. Now it’s Tiktok and filters! Oof
Same! It was reprinted and I got it in the early 2000s. I always think of that every time they bring up the clean girl.
I feel like this has been rehashed over and over and over and over. The High Maintenance Babe vs. the Girl Next Door.
Archie comic nostalgia wow I forgot about reading these. So anachronistic, fairly problematic and lol yeah a lot ends with violence
I'm also really tired of describing full grown adult women as a 'girl' because it's infantalizing.
This too!
Right? I’m more an “old fat blobfish” than a “girl” at this point. 😂
I prefer 'girl' because, to me, it means freedom to be myself whereas 'woman' means wife and mother trapped in the kitchen
@@FloraGaleFlower I associate 'girl' with all the men who've used it against me tried to put me down because I'm a young woman. We have very different experiences and feelings about these words.
True, depends on how and who is using it too. To some, it can be an acknowledgement of a woman's inner child - the part of her that actually enjoys being alive. To others, it can be saying that a woman is incapable and not a human adult.
I think we also have a dichotomy between "adult" and "child" where to be adult means suffering, so if you have fun (genuine, nonalcohol induced fun) you are seen as "childish".
Another (though admittedly much lesser) issue is that it helps perpetuate the idea that hygiene is inherently feminine. Which can result in things like grown men with severely internalized toxic masculinity going online to rant about things like real men having "skidmarks" in their underwear and bragging about not washing their hands.
I’m flashing back to “The Shape of Water.” The main villain thought washing his hands after using the toilet was a sign of weakness. This backfires horribly on him.
@@saraquill del Toro never misses a chance to skewer toxic masculinity
The precious few seconds I had before I remembered what "skidmarks" were in this context... life was so good back then (30 seconds ago) 😢
how crazy are these guys that for the sake of opportunism I AM NOT A GIRL!!! ready to walk around in dirty panties, Jesus cried
they have no sanity
whoever called them the "rational, logical gender" is crazy too
@@lizzie31 ikr whenever i hear that phrase i keep thinking a car ran over their undies lol
It's always hard for me to see the 'clean girl' aesthetic everywhere because as a CHILD I was bullied (edit: I remembered the exact word one girl called me which was "disgusting") for my oily slick back bun (which my indian predecessors have been doing for decades if not centuries). I had to tell my mum to stop doing my hair like that for fear of judgement and had not dared to walk out of the house looking like that for years afterwards, only for the same look to be co-opted and posted everywhere by a group (of mainly white women) in western society that suddenly changed it's mind about what I was ridiculed and traumatised by as a child. It always feels very unfair.
It really does. I can’t say I relate in that way but I’ve noticed similar with Black people’s features, and freckles. Heck I remember when having a big butt was seen as gross. Now everyone wants a huge butt. The hypocrisy is what sucks. One day you’re the bullied kid the next everyone wants to be you, except not you at all, a facsimile of your natural life.
I’m mixed race. My white mom hated the idea of oily hair, didn’t apply any on me, and complained that my hair was so hard to care for. When I started caring for my own hair, I found out oil is crucial for pain free maintenance.
Love your user name 😂
Glad you get to do your own hair now @saraquill
In general white women think everything thry do and say is amazing. I know longer subscribe to this channel because I believe surrogacy is unethical but once in awhile Jessica will say something worth listening to...otherwise she embodies the Karen aesthetic of the typical white women know everything amd are always right no matter what.
girl the west stole so much from south asia as a whole:/ it's criminal how at the very least many black or latina creators talk about things they got bullied for being popularized while just yesterday i scrolled past a video of a white woman saying chai latte. south asian creators aren't doing enough
On the topic of historical cleanliness, Bernadette Banner has an excellent video on the history of western hygiene, and debunking myths surrounding “all people in history stank”
Bernadette is fantastic!!
I haven't yet seen the video, but thanks for the rec!:)
I'd say modern people misunderstand the outrage towards public bathhouses. Bathtubs in those could easily fit two people, and there was like a tray in the middle, so you could drink and have snacks with whoever you were bathing with. This meant a lot of prostitution and other types of naked bodies together was going on in the public baths... So yes, in that sense (and also the drinking, etc.) bathing was immoral. I don't know how hygienic those places were either.
This has nothing to do with a small tub or a bucket you might have at home. But obviously even heating enough water takes time. This was still a thing a few decades ago, same as using a washcloth to wipe your armpits and such places. My grandparents only built an indoor toilet in 1980, but when I was a toddler, I'd be bathed in a bucket of water on the kitchen floor (when visiting my grandparents).
The people washed daily and bathed on Saturday and a hair wash.
Pitchers and basins were in the bedrooms and chamber pots as well.
A special cabinet hid the chamber pot.
The people who wished to be clean were clean 🧼 and tidy.
Not labor too wash your face.
To me the "clean girl" aesthetic feels extremely...boring? I don't want to look Subdued and Demure and Effortless. I want to look eccentric and fun. Because being fun takes imagination and inventiveness and also, the ability to pair up colours which aren't all neutrals.
I want to look fun and eccentric but I barely have energy to shower and put on shoes lol ;_; I think it's way more personality
This part, shout-out to my friend whose life goal is to have the howl pendragon bedroom
Yes it is actually incredibly conservative. I feel the same about the 'French girl aesthetic'. Don't get me wrong, those looks are nice on photos, but too bland and boring to spend whole life wearing them.
@@asiapilch , it's extremely catering to the male gaze as well. A lot of cis hetero men hate a woman with an inkling of a personality showing in her style, because it means that she won't be as malleable to their wishes. Which makes this "barely there" makeup and inoffensive clothes double as BLAGH in my book. :D
@@asiapilchyes as someone who mostly does the “clean girl aesthetic” I do it because it’s conservative but still attractive. I work in a high end salon so I kinda have to do it. Sometimes I do a bold lip lol
Thanks for showing your no make up face, I'm 35 and I still have acne and I've had people call me out on it all my life
Fuck those people. I hope you can make peace with the acne and disregard the fuckers.
I’m 34 and still have acne while simultaneously also getting fine lines. It sucks that you also are in the same situation as me and it’s also a little comforting to know that I’m not alone.
With continuous birth control I am able to keep it at a manageable level but I admittedly do feel societal pressure to cover my acne to appear attractive or even just put together.
I had almost no acne until I turned 23. It's maddening, my skyn is starting to wrinkle and I have acne 🤷
Highly recommend Rowan Ellis's video "The ugly truth of acne representation"
Talks about how we as a society shame acne, the history, and even some shows that have acne portrayed in a more neutral way
Yeah, this trend made me feel so gross for having bad acne 🫠 It always felt like there was some magical product or diet I wasn't using, and like it was only happening because I wasn't putting in the effort.
"I'm not a clean girl"
*gasps in influencer*
🙊
Only halfway through the video, so if you end up saying this, I'll delete this comment, I just want to write it down before I forget:
The clean, understated, "effortless" look that includes your "effortlessly" clean and beautiful home isn't even new in terms of white people's ideals - the 1950s called, they want their standards back! There are so many parallels - including the racism, which was a little more out in the open then but frighteningly, hasn't changed all that much...
Spot on!
Every option for bigotry will be explored and tested because each is an economic niche ready to "blow up!"
Heck, even in the 1700s when it suddenly became possible to make white linen fabric, it was an instant status signal to be able to keep your white underclothes bright white. It's been in there a loooong time. 😢
Even more underrated comment
I commented this under Shanespear's video as well when I originally watched it, but I will repeat myself here. Europeans in middle ages and before were much cleaner than what we give them credit for. they absolutely washed and cleaned on a daily basis, they just didn't "bathe" much. bathing meant a very specific act - fully submerging yourself in water. heating that much water was costly and time consuming, so it wasn't preferred. people instead washed with a wet cloth (and soap if they ad some) which gets you clean just as well. closing bathhouses during the plague also wasn't stupid, since those were places where diseases absolutely did spread. you didn't necessarily go to a bathhouse to get clean, you went there to sit in a tub of hot water that other people either previously sat in, or were currently sitting in with you.
and the white linen shirts... yes they were a symbol of cleanliness, but that had a basis in actual cleanliness. linen fabric has anti microbial properties and is great at wicking moisture away from the body, perfect for working class people who sweat a lot. plus linen is very durable when wet, so it can withstand a lot of laundering. this made it the perfect underwear that kept people dry and kept their outer clothes clean. people didn't wear white linen shirts just to perform cleanliness, they wore them to actually be clean. it was simply the most practical and sensible thing to do for those people.
Now, don't get me wrong, they were still very racist. they still believed bullshit about other cultures and there were definitely performative aspects of their clothes and looks and hygiene that were motivated by racism. but there is so much misinformation about the past and the people who lived long before us. and these myths about the stupid backwards people of the dark ages and the incredible progress and level of civilisation we have achieved since are just a different form of perpetuating white supremacist ideas.
....I fail to see how the idea of the unsanitary European is perpetuating white supremacy....considering the fact that contemporanious native American/Asian/African cultures were generally assumed to be more sanitary. Even today the prevalent stereotype is that white people are the ones who are fairly negligent about cleanliness/hygiene/ sanitation.
White linen shirts definitely did becomes a symbol ofnovercomsuption and status, and court protocols that required kings, queens, and other members of the upper nobility to change their clothes completely between activities played into that. Also, linen tends to yellow with time and use (which can be reverted a bit with deep washing and exposure to sunlight, but it takes time and a lot of manual labor at the time), so your shirts being always perfectly white did mean that you could replace them often = had money.
But it was on top of linens being a decent way to keep clean (indipendently from your social class), not instead of it.
@@herlaqueen yea that's what I meant. That the basis for white linen shirts being a symbol of cleanliness is in actual cleanliness, it wasn't arbitrary. But of course a lot of stuff got piled up on top.
Came into the comments to look for the historical corrections, thanks for this!
It's really hard to bring something like this up without making detractors think they have ammunition, but very true. More likes for OP, please. Plus, you can tell when a white undergarment is filthy with bodily secretions... although how much of that staining you can remove depends on the resources you have access to.
I'm so frustrated by the multiple aesthetics that seem to imply pastel and neutral colored clothes indicate the moral purity of the wearer. I used to not care about neutrals. They weren't for me, but now I hate them. My in-laws are size 1, super conservatively religious people who are, shocker, white. I'm a mixed-race person who adores jewel tones, and the closest to pastels I like is a nice turquoise. They have taken to setting color palette dress codes for family gathering "so the pictures look nice" but I do feel it's targeting only my husband and I and his brother who loves bright blue, too. There are generally 20-30 people at these gatherings, and we're the only ones who don't naturally gravitate to what I would call sad beige or white. They were "clean girls" before it was named. Now of course they're all in.
In my family's cultures, cheerful colors are celebrated, and wanting to wear joyous colors of prints is never, for a moment, considered to indicate moral depravity. If it's a party, why not dress cheerfully? And life can be depressing, so if you have the energy to get dressed, why not in something that will make you smile? We were dopamine dressing since before it had a name.
I was so thrilled at the rise of the term dopamine dressing, and at the proliferation of fun aesthetics we had for a while. It feels like every time we move in the direction of acceptance and glorifying self-expression, capitalism and racism and mainstream religions unite to oppress us again.
100% if I am at a party, I am walking up to the person dressed in colors and patterns. I know I will have a better time with them over someone dressed in all beige.
having a dress code for a family get together is ridiculous lmao with family you should be lucky they show up in something besides sweats
"They have taken to setting color palette dress codes for family gathering "so the pictures look nice"" gag, eff that, stand out in those pictures (and call them out if they post process away your color)
I'm a super pale lady. I prefer to wear black and jeweltones.
I've never heard of "dopamine dressing" before, but I 'm totally using that from now on! Silly graphic tees and comfy jeans for everyday, bright colors and patterns for special occasions. Your in-laws sound like a total drag. Keep doing you.
The whole idea that if you don’t look a certain way, you just “aren’t putting in enough effort” and are “lazy” will always be laughable.
Being places on time is a lot of effort, getting homework done is a lot of effort, remembering to brush my teeth is a lot of effort. I don’t have time to do a full face of makeup everyday, and when I do, i *want* it to be noticeable, because I worked hard on it lmaoo.
Exactly!!
Seriously the whole reason I don’t wear make-up is because the effort is too much. Same with hair. I never do my hair. I put it up if it needs to be out of the way and that’s it. Doing the things life requires is hard enough, I’m not wasting energy and time on decoration! Not saying it’s a waste for everyone, but for me it would be
@@DeathnoteBByeah, i’m someone who definitely enjoys wearing and doing my makeup, but I don’t do it often simply because it’s too much work with everything else i have to do everyday
I could wear makeup to work ..i'd sweat it straight off in the kitchen tho.. then I'd have panda eyes and a sweaty looking nose and lips like i've just been rescued from the Saraha lol .. I prefer to save my made up look for events .. those moments when people you work with say .. I didnt recognise you and smile
@@DeathnoteBB I feel exactly the same.
I love the idea of neutrality. I have depression, and positivity is so hard to achieve that it often feels impossible. Positivity can be toxic if you can't buy into the idea. But I don't know if I ever thought to shoot a bit lower to achieve a more realistic solution.
Body neutrality has helped me a lot as a depressed and chronically ill person. It takes the pressure out of pushing yourself into fake positivity. It’s a lot more realistic to achieve; at the moment my thought process is just “this is the body I have, I’ll try to make the best of it”. It helps to reframe that “push yourself as hard as you can” mindset that comes with the positivity side that is so so draining on our very limited energy levels.
Sending lots of love and comfort your way. I hope you have an okay day 💕
@bec1.618 thank, I manage my depression pretty well nowadays. But it's really nice to hear others put it into words. "Fake it till you make it" as apt as it may be sometimes, is a soul sucking expression for folks with depression. Thank you for sharing! I hope you're well too!
Body neutrality seems a lot more attainable than body positivity. If you hate your body, it's going to be REALLY HARD to love it, but much easier to just feel neutral.
(I’m Laura, not Bob, we share an account) I was so happy when I found the body neutrality movement! I’m multiply disabled and AuDHD, and though I joke that I’m a genetic lemon, I’m actually not. If I remove my body issues, I have space in my brain for all the things I CAN do, and it makes days like today (migraine, pain, fatigue, nausea, all of which make me more absent-minded!) better, b/c I can draw, or write poetry, or play my piano, or just sit and read comments. The neutrality movement/community does so much more than say ‘it’s okay not to love my body’, it turns your brain to the things you do, not how you look, and then it says ‘actually, you don’t need to do anything to be enough!’. This is revolutionary at a time when not only are ppl being taught to ignore disability and celebrate bodies, but women are again being told they have to be constantly busy doing something improving to have worth. It can sound cynical, but body neutrality is okay with cynicism, just not hate. And, if you want, you can take it back to its roots and call it fat neutrality, b/c women’s bodies are constantly ‘too fat!’, even when they’re not. 💜
It’s so much more achievable to get to the point where you can feel sympathetic or affectionate toward your body (admittedly in an “oh honey” kind of way for me) if you allow yourself to just be neutral about it! Mine is not a glorious body, often not even a good body, but that’s not its fault and it’s doing its best, even though it’s chronically misguided sometimes. When I’m not pushed to love every bit of it, I can feel thankful sometimes to have the function that I do have, and feel frustrated by the function I don’t. It’s incredibly freeing.
Body neutrality and saying i am more than just my body has helped me so much.
"you have a body, you are a soul"
i don't remember where i heard this but it's stuck with me
Yes, as well as saying "we should expand our definitions of beauty" we should be saying "we are more important than beauty".
Yes!
this is genuinely something i needed to hear. i've been struggling with chronic illness + depression and the absolute disgust towards my own body is something that eats me alive. its really good to remember that societal beauty and cleanliness standards are not the end all be all and i wish more people would talk about it. i'm glad you did tho c:
I have two spoons today and that's not unusual. I have ME/CFS, Lupus, ADHD, Anxiety and am Autistic. Most days I don't even brush my hair. Thanks for making this video. Sending love.
Comorbitities are a bitch. I don’t have lupus, but I have the rest plus POTS, depression and fibromyalgia. Sending you love and comfort, and I hope you have an okay day 💕 (I find good days very rare, but okay to me is doable. So long as it’s not terrible, I’m satisfied)
Sorry if this seems insensitive, but I wanted to ask- what exactly IS Lupus? I have been googling to find out but it just tells me that it's an autoimmune disorder, but doesn't really say what it does. What does it target specifically, if anything? No worries if you don't feel comfortable sharing :)
@@maddie9117 the immune system attacks itself and healthy tissue, so you get fatigue, joint pain, rashes, fevers, bodily inflammation, and problems/damage to organs like your kidneys, skin, brain, heart and lungs, plus your blood cells and joints. It can be heavily affected by sun exposure as it triggers flare ups
@@bec1.618 Owchie 😬
As a nigh on 70 year old t-lady who has had her knee amputated 20 years ago I couldn't agree more with your comments about ableism. And gosh Jessica I absolutely adore your aesthetic and style. You're the woman I've wanted to be for the last 57 years ( giggle) 41:24
Linen actually has wicking properties and does help keep sweat, oil and dirt off of the body, Abby Cox has an excellent video about cleanliness in the past, they did clean themselves, just not the same way we do for accessibility and time reason, a bath without plumbing is time consuming
And somewhat importantly excessive showering is actually a huge hygiene problem that currently occurs because it causes massive imbalances of microbes on the skin leading to extreme BO 😅 Wash your hands regularly, and chill a little on the rest unless you have a specific medical condition that requires additional special care.
I am not a clean girl and have no desire to be one, who has the time for all that?
The racism analysis was excellent especially appreciated that Jessica quoted so many people of color.
Loved that Nina Tame was highlighted, she is bada$$ in so many ways. ❤
I absolutely love how the “clean girl” aesthetic, racism and ableism was connoted in the video ❤
@@zuzannanowicka6348 Jessica is soooo good at linking things together to point out different issues.
@@jennifers5560 yep, she is! The only I thing that was lacking was the connotation of the issue to Hi**er’s IIIrd Reich - they had their own “clean girl” aesthetic actually
True, it’s too much. There’s way better things to do with your time
It’s interesting but at the same time the slick ponytails and lip gloss from the late 90s and early 2000s weren’t just worn by black girls. We all did it. And I can tell you, 6th grade me wasn’t looking at someone and thinking they were gh*tto or ratchet or whatever. Maybe I’m just lucky where I grew up but the only racism we had came from the elders, boomers and their parents.
0:27 part of the reason i love punk so much ,, being slighty grimy is part of it (and cr!p punk encouraging decorating mobility aids and chaos music encorqgibg anti captalosm and community's care or at least the queer bands im listening to)
I love the decorating mobility aids thing, it turns everything into an accessory. Punk is the best
Hey love that vibe any music recs?
@danielle3064 Depends. Are you starting from scratch? If so, you need your 1970s DIY base, e.g., MC5, the Ramones, the Clash, the Sex Pistols and Patti Smith. Smith's first album, Horses, can rearrange one's whole mental furniture. Then there's 1990s grunge, which is when I started discovering music for myself. And if your town has a music scene at all, the most rewarding thing can be finding your local up and coming band.
@@valerielevasseur8674 thanks!
35yo non-binary female (she/they) who was diagnosed with adhd at age 32. I mistakenly thought this would only be slightly relateable as I'm often unaware of many tiktok trends. I was so wrong! This brings me back to the era of the Pinterest or Instagram Mom ideal while I was a young mother and unaware of my adhd. The ideals were untainable for anyone, but no one was about to admit that they were struggling. Even now, I still forget to give myself grace when my adhd is getting in the way of functioning at a level I believe I should be but only have spoons for the bare minimum, or less. This was a great reminder to be kinder to myself and an eye-opener on the history behind these standards. I always enjoy your well thought out content!
I'm more interested in what I call "Vintage Fairy" it's basically a style I've cultivated for myself with twirly skirts, nature inspired prints/embellishments, and Colourpop's supershock eyeshadow in Moonwalk (still testing other lip products to see which I prefer.) I have found that the best way for me to look is by not following trends blindly, taking what I like, and leaving the rest.
that's what you should do! clothes/makeup should be a way for you to express yourself and be original to you!
BTW, you're style sounds lovely.
@@libbyallen2566 thanks!
That is so true! The best way to maximise money is by being true to yourself and following your own style, be it a hodge podge of all different styles and aesthetics YOU can sustain and are key parts to yourself.
cute! That sounds so pretty..
Pics?
not me welling up with tears at the very end being told we're enough ;-;
❤
Me too 🥹
Same here. I think it says a lot that a simple „you’re enough“ get to us. But I’m working on it. Still, thanks to Jessica ❤
Jessica groaning into a pillow after Beige!Jessica literally pulls a "have you tried yoga?" on her is such a mood. :D
"Women living with ADHD in a clean girl world is really hard"
I definitely agree with that. I sometimes struggle with hygiene tasks like brushing my teeth and washing my face because im often distracted, forgetful, and prone to procrastination. I don't know where people get the energy to put on a full face of makeup let alone a 12 step skincare routine. Like Im just lucky if I remember to moisturize my face when I actually get around to using face cleanser. To top it off, I work 10 hour long shifts on my feet the entire work day. Some days I'm too tired and too sore to do anything other than eat dinner and then collapse in bed, skipping the shower or showering in the morning instead. Oh and to put a cherry on top of the clean girl shit sundae, I tried birth control last year and went from having only minor acne on occasion to my grandmother telling me "What happened to your face? You used to never have acne." I've never fully gone back to my normal skin and I have been off hormones for like a year.
This why I dont follow these kinds of trends.
Everything about life as a woman is exhausting. Everything. Every last moment.
4,000 viewers were too exhausted to post this. Thank you!
Then looking from your perspective, everything about life as an autistic woman is twice as exhausting. Sincerely, an autistic woman.
@@kjmusic99 correct
Yes. Yes. Yes. …Yes.
Imagine listening to all of these trends and taking them seriously? 💀💀💀
I essentially have no skin care routine. I pretty much gave up makeup during Covid, so dress up makeup is blush, mascara, eye liner, and under eye cover. If my face is dirty, I wash it with soap and throw some moisturizer on it. If it's clean, I'll just moisturize.
I got caught shopping with friends by one of those makeup stores. She was talking about vitamins, tinctures, and all kinds of junk. After I had enough, I asked her how old she thought I was. She said early 50s. I told her I was in my mid 60's, so obviously, my non routine was working well.
Honestly it doesn't get mentioned enough, mainly because then they can't sell you stuff, that sometimes leaving your skin alone and letting it breathe can be the best treatment.
I wasn’t raised with a skin care routine and these days it’s hard for me to remember to just do basic care tasks. I’ve barely washed my face outside of the shower beyond when I feel like I need it and really only moisturize when my skin is really persistently dry. So far I’ve been pretty lucky to not need much care especially since I hate the feeling of lotion or anything like it on my skin
Some people are just lucky. The most important thing you can do to preserve your skin is wear sunscreen, which you should do to prevent skin cancer anyways. Other than that retinol if you wanna make a difference. Everything else is pretty much fluff.
I have a teething baby, I have had little sleep and certainly no warpaint on... And I was asked for ID at the supermarket. I could have hugged the lady serving me at the checkout! I'm 37! She made my blooming day.
@@sevenember3332I have the same problem with lotion. I typically use sweet almond oil on damp skin, follow that up with a small amount of moisturizer on the face and after washing my hands I use a small amount of Cetaphil lotion, primarily on the back of my hands, because I cannot stand how it feels to have any kind of lotion on my palm other than a very slight amount.
Thank you for the disabled skin care routine! I used to be a 30-minute skincare routine person (ah, college), but these days I'm happy if I wipe my face with a baby wipe.
As a makeup artist, a baby wipe isn’t the worst thing!! Don’t be so hard on yourself. Just try to remember your sunscreen and you’re doing great!
I was so close to the end about not getting emotional, and then you had to go and say, "It's enough. You are enough." Things have been so hard for me for a long time, and yesterday was made with extra suck, that definitely made me feel not even close to enough in the eyes of someone who claims to love me. Thank you for this whole video, but double thank you for the words I needed to hear, even if they made me cry. You are an amazing woman, and even though you're almost a decade younger than me, I really look up to you. It's nice to take solace in a place where I know I will be accepted as I am, disabled, fat, my mental health in the absolute trash, but still someone that has value, even when I don't feel valuable. So, thank you again. I truly appreciate you.
My skin care is oh i havent put moisturizer on in a while bwtter do that.
I will never be a clean girl aesthetic. Im a goblin 😂😂
Thanks for reminding me I need to buy moisturiser because I haven’t put it on in a while 😂
Mood I just used some micellar water to cleanse my face and called it a night 😂
@@bec1.618 I may have to try that 🤔🤣
Yeah, I’m not like other girls either.
@@hopegold883 The “I’m not like other girls” trope comes from implying that eschewing things that are “traditionally feminine” (makeup, dresses, etc) makes a person better than those “other girls” who do hold those interests.
Not a single person here has said that, neither subtly nor outright. Sometimes it really is okay to just not be interested in a thing, as long as you don’t put down the people who are. 🤷🏽
Another skincare tip for low energy - some sunscreens are moisturising too.
I use my moisturising sunscreen as the 2nd and last step, after washing my face with some water.
Moisturising sunscreen each day I’m heading out of the house = my skincare. It’s great.
This. I’ve been a makeup artist for 10+ years and if you do your moisturizer/ sunscreen combo you are absolutely good to go. Just wash your face at some point too.
0:32 the point about Chronic illness (fellow spoonie here!) is very apt. It's even harder for people struggling be it with mental illness, poverty, health issues or anything else to live up to the standards of aesthetics or "that girl". Beauty standards are deeply connected to various forms (wealth, health, race, weight, etc) of privilege.
I like the aesthetic for myself, but I do recognize the issues and am not going to create content around it, etc. People should feel free to present themselves in a way that works for them and that they feel attractive in, whether that’s no makeup at all or the glammest of glam. It’s art, and it’s boring if everyone is trying to do the same thing!
I'm clean girl adjacent. I don't have the time or money to go all out on skincare, clean eating etc but I do a no-makeup makeup look every day for work and have my hair slicked back in a ponytail every day of my life (because it's low maintenance. I sleep in a ponytail so my hair doesn't become a rat's nest). I do the make-up because I've read enough articles to know that we're all judged on our appearance constantly and that if you look too glam you can get judged poorly and if you look too dressed down, tired, etc you get judged poorly and this can impact your job prospects and earning potential. I will absolutely spend the extra hour a day to look clean and polished because I want to survive in this capitalist hellscape as a disabled person with passing privilege.
Should being attractive even be a goal tho...
@@nof9469 doesn’t have to be, of course. But if someone does want to feel attractive, they should get to decide for themselves what that entails.
@@nof9469I totally get your point but I personally feel better in the world when I feel attractive. I don’t think it’s that problematic to want to attract people to you.
This really made me re-examine myself again. I've grown up around a lot of terrible, oppressive ideas and I'm still working on that. Body neutrality is an amazing concept and I'm definitely immediately changing the way I speak to my chosen family and the way I encourage them to talk about themselves. Also, this is embarrassing but I almost started crying at the reassurance that I'm enough. I'm so glad for Jessica's videos, I'm able to actually consider these topics my depression would call heavy but in a way that doesn't make me feel like I've failed everything and everyone. Because I haven't, I'm still trying! Also, I might be boycotting Dove and Pears now. Yikes. Local made soap, here I come!
29:10 Currently studying neuroscience in Uni, and the one thing that one of my profs has drilled into my head is that if “stop being sad” and “stop doing drugs” and “go to the gym” were that easy, we would. Sadly, our brain chemistry oftentimes overpowers willpower, and for some reason so many people don’t seem to understand that. Going on walks outside, proper sleep, and proper hydration help general well-being immensely. But our brains are complicated structures, and may need extra help sometimes. We should really stop thinking so heuristically when it comes to certain issues.
I really felt this, especially the part about how hard this stuff can be with ADHD, I still feel shame on those days when I don't manage to shower but knowing I'm not alone helps
This video is SUPER validating! Thank you! Honestly, I have trouble just committing to an SPF routine because of my AuDHD/depression/anxiety. I always feel like I’ll be called out for “laziness,” or like I’m waiving my right to sympathy if I get sunburned (or worse), but it’s legitimately really hard for me.
Going out the door always involves forgetting *something* and my system feels like it’s on constant soft-overload just from remembering to take my meds/put my phone in my bag/put on socks if I plan to wear non-sandal shoes/decide what shoes I’ll wear in the first place…
Plus, the greasiness/stickiness of sunscreen, the need to really rub it in if it’s mineral, the fear of getting it on my glasses/clothes/in my hair, or missing a spot anyway…
I’m still working on the neutrality and self-generosity aspect of it all.
J-beauty or K-beauty sunscreens may be a nicer fit for you, if the texture is an issue! They tend to have lighter textures, more like a lotion or serum. Lab Muffin Beauty Science has several videos about different brands. I personally use Shiseido and have for many years, but it is expensive and may not be the best option for some because of that. There are definitely cheaper options out there!
(Also, there's no rule about when you need to do your sunscreen/skincare. It might be "ideal" to do it in the morning but the sunscreen police aren't going to come for you if you do it later in the day, or if you keep a tube by your front door or in your car/bag so you always put it on before you leave the house. You're also allowed to have multiple tubes and stash them all around like Chapsticks if that helps)
Wishing you luck with everything 🩷
I never liked the "clean girl" lable. Like, everyone else is dirty? XD
It's reeks of superiority.
Clearly the makeup look is seeking to capture the dewy glow of a fresh shower...it's odd to make a the jump that anyone that seeks to capture that look is seeking to make a negative statement about other people.
I find it funny that I’m unintentionally somewhat doing the “clean girl” look because when I leave the house, I am often, in fact, fresh from the shower with no makeup and wet hair pulled back in a high bun. As far as clothes go, definitely not. I’m in a transitional period with my weight so my clothes don’t fit me well and I like having some saturated colors in my life
@@redmaple1982 No wearing that look looks like they got out of the shower like that. It looks like they have too much free time!
@@FunkyLittlePoptart "capturing" a look is not the same thing as literally looking like the exact thing. The dewy after glow of a shower is pretty but ephemeral that why they seek to emulate it via make up look that takes about as much time as any other.
(Laura Mellin, not Bob) Thank you for pointing out and quoting women of colour and Black women! I remember when the Kardashians were constantly lauded for their look, and thinking ‘wait, that look was called a bad word when Black women wore it!’. The smoothed back hair, the big earrings, the long nails, the neutral colours (nude, my lily-white flat butt! That’s beige!), then the lip fillers and the BBLs - this is all Black and Latina fashion! I am very, very white (spf100, and my meds make me near vampire levels of sun sensitivity), but I’m 54, I have eyes, and my long-term memory is pretty good. I remember when all of that was considered low class (which is racist as heck), not white-girl trendy. The worst is that the BIWoC who originated the look are still considered less than the white girls who do it. Grrr!😡 Love your channel!💜
@@robertmellin6495 Hear, hear! All of this. I'm also 54, very white and - unrelated, but "my lily-white flat butt" made me giggle. And yes, "nude" being automatically beige is racist af.
watching this on a day where i feel so gross because i've been wanting to wash my hair for like 5 days but i haven't had the energy (i'm hopeful for tomorrow). i feel all of this so much, especially so much of the "body positivity" bit. i've heard people trying to remove the part that equates it with beauty and looks by saying "just think about what your body can _do_, how it helps you" and i'm just like "well i hurt my thumb flushing the toilet today, my index finger from clicking the mouse too hard, my knee from ???, and i'm immensely fatigued. i'm having trouble doing anything, so telling me to be happy about my body's abilities isn't the helpful advice you think it is"
These things really do take a lot of energy!
Body neutrality can be helpful: this is the body I have right now. Let's do our best to look after it and live our life.
I always love your videos. Im not a clean girl or any kind of girl, im a woman and adult female. Im not a girly or a child. Thank you for making this video!
Jessica, this might be one of your best ones yet. The number of times I found myself gasping out loud with relief that somebody finally put it into words, the exclamations of "yes!!!!!" and other similar things when you pointed out the awful context behind the "clean girl" standard being the new "good enough" standard, and ALL of the intersectional aspects... I genuinely feel like this one was a real sit-down therapy session for us all. Special mention to the ADHD part too as that is soooo mired in my brain as part of the negativity spirals I have about myself. So much love to you and I can't wait to show this to everyone who agrees to watch it. Thank you, endlessly ❤
Would HUGELY recommend Shanspeare's video essay if you enjoyed this too! It's called "The Downfall of 'Anti-Hygeine' Influencers' and it's linked in the description for this video :D
@@dolphinloser6546 I loooove shanspeare, will have to check it out, tysm!!
I really relate to this. I have EDS too along with many other chronic heslth issues & disabilities so this is pretty much impossible for me to achieve, too. I also want people to know and see I am wearing make up if i ever do wear it because it takes effort. I also started making my own clothes from last year which tend to be made from.fabrica with bold colours and patterns, usually galaxy or lightning. I am very happy to just embrace what I like. I'm also autistic (diagnosed as an adult) & have never really conformed to beauty standards or trends & I am thankful for that❤
Also so much yes for the body neutrality stuff. I am so tired of people saying I'm not disabled. I hate the "differently abled" brigade. No amount of positive thinking will make my body work 100% of the time. I have a heart problem where I was born missing a valve & will need more open heart surgery in future. I can't positive think a valve to grow (Atrioventricular septal defect if anyone is interested)
Such a nexus of perfectionism and beauty standards. I love the characters you play to get at the deeper nuance of a topic. The religion of cleanliness is a real problem. Society seems confused about it and conflates a tool as an ideology. 😮
Some of your history of European cleanliness sections was off-base. Popular history writing pretty much always over-emphasizes "Christians didn't bathe and were dirty!" because it's sensational and shocking. Yes, hermits out in the wilderness thought that. That doesn't mean it was a mainstream thing to just be dirty at any point in time. And yes, bathhouses were closed because of the plague, but that doesn't mean that people just didn't clean themselves. You can get yourself just as clean with a sponge bath as you can immersing yourself in a tub of hot water, but it's a lot quicker and easier to do a sponge bath if you don't have running water. As for "believing that white linen would keep you clean" that's because it does. People have done studies on it. They wore undyed linen next to their skin not because white=clean but because undyed=easier to clean. Laundry in those days meant "boiling the hell out of it, using harsh soaps, and beating it with sticks." Before the 19th Century, any garment that was dyed was not meant to be regularly laundered, because washing it would wash the dye out (they didn't have very good mordants). If you wear a clean linen shirt/shift next to your skin and change it each day, that will absorb all your sweat and skin oil and you won't need to wash the clothes that went on top of the linen layer. That plus a washcloth + soap and water will keep you decently clean.
That's a general overview, but it's also important to remember that Europe is not a monolith and standards of cleanliness varied. Medieval England was noted for its poor hygiene by other Europeans, mostly because English cities were later to adopt things like sewers and other infrastructure needed for cleanliness.
Once you got into the Industrial Revolution, standards of cleanliness went down because poor people were being crammed into slums in cities instead of living in country villages. Clean water and soap are relatively easy to get in rural villages--if there's no water, they don't build a village there, and you can make soap yourself. But slums often had very poor access to clean water, and no way for people to make soap themselves, they had to buy it, which they couldn't afford. And also, the slums were right next to the factories that were polluting the hell out of everything and getting grime everywhere. Given that, middle-class and wealthy people looked down on poor people for being so clean and decided it was a moral fault and not, you know, the fact that they were exploited and forced to live in inhumane conditions.
I wasn’t quite prepared for how validating this video would feel!
Thank you, Jessica, for giving voice to the realities of living with disabilities! And for connecting that to the racism and capitalism and all the other moving parts of our society’s beauty standards that lead us to feel not good enough!
I found your channel quite a while ago, and I felt so heard when you talked about ADHD struggles. Even though I didnt relate, I internalised your messages on EDS and chronic illness. So when I found out I have ADHD, POTS, and suspected EDS, I did not feel like my life was over. I discovered I will need mobility aids much younger than most because of all the damage from dislocations. but because of YOUR channel, I still do not feel disheartened. What you're doing is so appreciated
Am I the only one that thinks the name 'clean girl' is really weird?
@@fromtheothersidee111Yeah it always felt weird to me, as if girls who don’t look like that _aren’t_ clean. And like, myself personally, I do need to take more showers, but most people don’t need to be called dirty for just existing as they are
No, it is a weird name for the look. Only reason I still call it that is I don’t know if there’s any other official names for the look
Extra weird with the term's longer internet history of (manosphere, gamergate type) videogame modders "cleaning up" female characters in games to make them look more conventionally voluptuous, nude, and white.
I can only imagine it's the same type men, if not cosmetics brand execs, and not the influencers themselves who coined the style's name.
@@disneyprincessintraining2725I think there aren't, but we can always try to make a change by suggesting alternative names.
I personally call it "Neat Girl" because at the end of the day it just looks neat.
@@disneyprincessintraining2725 Vanilla aesthetic looks really similar (she also mentioned it in the video), but I don't know if it's valid to use it in the place of "clean girl"
you screaming into a pillow after another 'helpful' suggestion had me cackling :D same, babe, same
“Have you tried physical therapy?” Yes, I have! It worked but it left me with exhaustion I recovered from in time for my next session. Oh, and insurance only covered the first five appointments and left me with a $900 bill for the rest!
“Have you tried yoga?”
“Have you tried Pilates?”
“You should walk more”
“You should take ‘random supplement’ it helped my auntie with her condition that is completely unrelated to yours…”
“Have you tried changing your diet?”
“Pain meds are really bad for you, you know. Try eating a banana every day instead”
“Maybe if you lost a bit of weight, that would help you, your medication causing it is no excuse”
(After being told repeatedly my condition is permanent) “How’s “x”, getting any better?”
“Just push through the pain.”
“Doctors don’t know everything you know” (No, but they know more about it than you)
“Can you not just do your hydrotherapy in the bath?”
That last one…couldn’t believe it when they said that to me! 😂 I was so shocked I just said “Ummmm….no, it’s not as big as pool”
@@ericadrake387 When I was discussing my conditions with my stepmom and telling her I take prescription meds for them, she responded with, “You shouldn’t taking all those medications!” There were about four of them. So I was beyond done with trying to help her understand what I was going through and asked her, “Are you part of my medical team? Are you there with me when I go to my appointments? No, you aren’t, so stop telling me what I need to do!”
This isn't really related to the topic of the video, but I just want to say that I am very grateful for you and your video's, Jessica! I was always convinced (by others and myself) that it was stupid or uncool to love looking pretty, fashion and make up. Seeing you loving pretty dresses and make-up has helped me understand that I can love those things in a non-superficial way! I now speak very enthousiasticly about dresses and skirts I would like to wear and wear make-up without thinking that is dumb, because it most certanly is not!
Thank you for that ❤
I love Jessica but I often find it hard not to compare myself as a disabled person because she is slim and looks put together. I feel like i should be as successful, slim and pretty. No fault of hers as I know she mostly makes videos on good days but sometimes i wish people who ARENT disabled would stop comparing me to inspiring disabled people...because then it makes me do it too
That makes a lot of sense!
Many disabled people don't look like her, and don't have the energy/ resources to run a RUclips channel. And that's fine.
I'm glad she's here to advocate, and that she lives her life as she wants.
@@angryhistoryguy5657 I hope you're able to find a safe home soon, so you can fulfill your wishes. :)
Not having a solid home base can be so draining!
I love fashion AND my style is often “How can I make these pajamas look cute” because of my sensory processing issues and PTSD (the stress is terrible for my immune system). I’ve always viewed skincare products as a way to support my body in ways it can’t support itself, because it’s too busy exerting energy elsewhere. However, that’s still a luxury I have because I live with my family who provides for me.
I am thin, white, and cis-passing. The “Clean Girl” aesthetic (though, not my thing) has always been so accessible to me. I think it’s 100% more about “conventional beauty” (based in racism, sexism, ableism, transphobia, fatphobia, homophobia etc) than it is about being legitimately clean, like you said, which is terrible.
Thank you Jessica, for educating me, and many others (while also looking out for other people).
Another channel I like made a video about Fatphobia, its roots in racism, and the history of things like BMI. Their RUclips channel is called Mickey Atkins (a therapist) and I really recommend it (especially for fellow white people like me who don’t know all of these things-like I didn’t know about the things in this video).
This is just a bunch of ADHD-induced rambling, but a short PS: What’s up with the body hair again?!? My body hair protects me as it’s intended to do-it serves a purpose that (even small) helps me stay healthy. It’s so infantilizing and gross that a natural part of our body is deemed as unclean-especially when it serves the purpose of helping keep you clean. Ugh!
Thank you Jessica for the kind way you approach this subject! As many can attest, these beauty trends seem surface-level at first but quickly get very personal and ver complicated.
I used to spend a lot of energy and money with the mindset "just buy x products and do x steps and *just be clean* then I will have no acne" which is suuuper frustrating because no matter what I do my acne stays with me. It took me leaving social media to really accept the idea that my acne is a natural part of me and I can feel neutral about it. Instagram especially was always enforcing this idea that I could solve my acne with more money and effort and I am happy to live knowing that my fragile and oily skin *doesnt need to be solved*.
Hopefully more people can learn that body neutrality is an option because personally, it gave me so much peace of mind
To be honest, as a transgender woman, I am too busy trying to be my true self, to worry about what aesthetic is trending at the moment.
I hear being true to your own self is in right now ❤
SAME. Not trans but same. This made me feel less alone :)
Did you think Jessica was saying you _should_ worry about it? I think she just wanted people who see this trend to be able to think about it critically.
As a depressed and disabled woman, even as a girl I've noticed that those trends pass too quickly, and that they aren't me. I like to make an effort, but on my own terms, and definitely not with small dainty jewelry or neutral colours, on the contrary, with bright and dark colors, blue hair and a lot of self-made jewelry. So I think ur doing everything correctly imo, running after every trend just signals to me that they haven't found themselves, and what they truly like. It's wonderful if u can be urself and don't depend on what's in fashion at any time, it's so freeing and much more sustainable.
I think the secret about being a woman that nobody talks about is that most of being a woman is spending your life trying to figure out what you actually like and are while the rest of world screams at you about who they think you should be in the most derogatory and shaming way possible. Welcome to the club, honey. Being a trans woman means you already got the chutzpah to be who you really are, and I take inspiration from your bravery.
I like goblin girl aetheric. I barely make it to work on time as it is. There's no time for makeup
Yeah, how do clean girls have time to do all those things??
I need to hear more about this goblin girl aesthetic, it sounds fun.
@jennifers5560 Probably being sugar babies or living off of their stream donations 🙄 the rest of us have day jobs and real responsibilities, that take plenty of effort and time in their own right.
Geeba girl aesthetic ftw
That's me. Thankfully I can look like a goblin at my job and no one bats an eye
the exhaustion that stops me washing my hair, the inability to do even a simple skin care routine sometimes, thank you for saying that we are enough when we can't cope - plus, dry shampoo is excellent
And sensitive skin baby wipes
I totally get being too tired to wash your hair. I get that feeling too. If you have a hair school nearby you should try to go in for blowouts there. It’s super cheap or free and someone else can wash your hair for you!
“You are always enough” hit me hard. I didn’t realize how much I needed that 💜💜💜
this video is super timely with what i've been going through and thinking a lot about lately!
i got diagnosed with adhd and autism less than a year ago after really hitting rock bottom with burnout, depression and lifelong anxiety. ive never liked showering but have kept up with it most of my life since it was expected of me. however burnout and depression really impacted my ability to keep up with all sorts of hygiene things in the last couple years. ive had a lot of mixed feelings around it but trying to be kind to myself.
but last week my therapist suddenly tells me that sometimes i smell kinda bad. and it really threw me for a loop. it took two days to just to get out of the shock of it all, and i still don't really know what i feel. a small part of me is glad to know since ideas about hygiene and a person's value are super ingrained in many people's minds and i want to know/have some control of what people think of me. but more and more i think i'm starting to feel annoyed and disappointed. my therapist's comment really rattled me and i was so consumed with shame that i couldn't bring myself to talk to anyone about it, despite usually being fine sharing almost anything.
i dont really have a conclusion to this as i'm still processing, but ideas about cleanliness have definitely been on my mind a lot.
Linen is a natural fabric which naturally wicks away moisture, which is why it was used in shift as the fabric against a person skin. It would wock away sweat and help regulate body temperature and lastly protect your "proper" clothes, who often weren't as washable, from your sweat. It was white so that it could be boiled and bleached to clean it. The reasons for the white linen shift, at it's basis, are practical.
Re: the plague, they may have been wrong about the reason that communal bath houses were spreading disease, but not the fact they were. Washing yourself doesn't prevent catching something when you do it in close quarters with other people you don't live with -- it probably did make it worse. So I don't blame them for deciding that washing might be dangerous. In cold parts of Europe, bathing by submersing yourself in water at home in the winter wouldn't have been possible to do safely for most people (heating the water, having a warm space to dry). So they used other strategies for keeping clean, like scrubbing with dry, clean linen cloths. We're super obsessed with dunking in water as a symbol of cleanliness today, and it feels like it's some big statement about racism to say "Europeans were the dirty ones actually" but is that really helpful? It still positions not bathing constantly as being dirty and gross and puts even more pressure on people of color to keep up with unmanageable routines.
It’s also like a lot of “Ha ha ha look at how dumb and silly those people in the past were. We’re all now smarter because we are modern people and we definitely aren’t still making the same mistakes our ancestors did. Because people in the past were all stupid and people now are smarter than that.”
I disagree. Most non white people view this as resounding evidence against eurocentrism. It's a very popular to joke about the longstanding lack of sanitation amongst certian white people (anglos and hippies).
Something that still infuriates me to this day is this one time when I told a teacher of mine that I have autism and sensory processing issues that are disabling to the way that I do some things, and they told me "You can do it! You're not disabled, you're just differently abled!".
"Yeah and my 'different abilities' don't include this one" 😂
Man I so needed this today. My grandmother died earlier this week and it's been rough. I'm already physically and mentally disabled so having to through some extra depression symptoms on top of everything has just made existing such a challenge. I hope I can someday find myself with disability neutrality but that feels far off when everyday is still such a struggle. I'm only just unlearning that my mental handicaps aren't my fault after a whole life if treating them as though they were my personal intolerable flaws that made me undeserving of human decency. I will be investing in makeup wipes, and kehils skincare.
❤ so sorry for your loss
This video got me in my feels. „You are always enough. Always.“ made me weep 😭 thank you for this very important and interesting video ❤
As someone with chronic illness, holy fuck did I need someone to talk about how I simply can’t compare myself to or strive for able bodied standards and classists goals.
Bravo. Thank you.
Yes, me also ❤
I'm so glad you are covering this topic and its intersection with racism, capitalism and fatphobia, on your platform Jessica. It's really important and I've shared the video with so many people since it dropped last week.
And it starts so young too. I am a teacher and some girls didn't want a certain colleague to be their class tutor because she didn't wear any makeup!! That must have been the dumbest shit I have ever heard. (A year later they did get her as a tutor btw and loved her all the same, and they felt bad for thinking that)
My hands are useless too, they need insulting. I drop things after I've slept or done too much exercise.
I drop things just cause 😂 my body sometimes just spontaneously decided my limbs aren’t gonna work
I'm so glad my mom or my older sister never taught me anything about make up. We don't even have any make up in the house. I got into the beauty content now, at 17, adopted a quick daily routine that finally got rid of most of my acne and I'm so glad I was raised to not care about all that so now I am actually thinking stuff through. And after looking through youtube, seeing people talking about make up and how to look good... I haven't changed my mind about make up not being necessary and more of a hobby nobody should be forced into. And it's scary seeing so many people believing everything they see and rushing to buy all that expensive stuff. Just... nah. I'm fine with just doing my best to have healthy skin, looks good enough for me. Might be also the fact that my autism and ADHD would make it a really big challenge to stick to a longer routine. I don't have the energy to care about every single milimeter of my look
Also the quote about ADHD made me realise how much progress I've made in just remembering to shower daily and then keep up a daily short hygiene routine, so now instead of thinking about what should I do more I'm glad I've come so far so... thanks for sharing it
I wish I was taught basic hygiene and skincare as a teen. I was doing everything wrong, trying to strip my skin of oils with harsh, drying cleansers. No moisturizer because I thought that would make my acne worse. Popping pimples with a pin dipped in antiseptic fluid. Washing my hair too often or not enough with the wrong products for my hair type. Now I'm permanently scarred. At least my skin is healthier now and I can hide a lot of the scarring with makeup. RUclips is a godsend. I've learnt so much about proper skin and haircare from actual professionals.
@@Draggonny yeah, I wish people paid more attention to hygiene. Should be in schools, parents don't know anything about it either
@@Draggonny yeah, I wish people paid more attention to hygiene. Should be in schools, parents don't know anything about it either
I love you for showing yourself in the morning without makeup and it just somehow made this channel a bit more relatable to me and that means we needed this message! Thank you JKF!
This is such a fantastic video, so well researched and articulated, whilst staying entertaining the whole time. Honestly the fact that I have paid attention thoroughly for the whole video when I have so little spoons left says a lot. Thank you, thank you so much for lifting away shame and educating us.
It's important to add that the ideals of Victorian cleanliness was imposed on young white women as well, whether they wanted to follow those rules or not. Some of author Louisa May Alcott's struggles were against these very rules of being pure, soft, and untouched. Adding to that, the idea of an increased need for cleanliness started from a very good place: public health. It was known that household and personal uncleanliness showed a link to increased disease (while in no way understanding why this was the case). But the movement for people to be cleaner was co-opted to express privilege instead. Not only were people of color and foreigners considered dirty, but the poor were especially believed to be filthy and thanks to the willful misunderstanding of Darwin's theory of evolution, it was all believed to be their own fault. Not having enough resources to afford soap was a moral failing, rather than a societal one. And this "clean girl" look is just another iteration of that same concept. History never repeats, but it constantly rhymes.
I was literally looking for a video explaining basically how to do clean girl aesthetic, and your video popped up and I'm so grateful that i watched it. It's been a long time i received so much positive or grounding messaging about beauty standards and self-care. Your video was a great reminder that struggling with some things because of depression or ADHD is actually ok and enough. So thank you :)
I’m only 3 mins in and the Clean Girl aesthetic/life style just screams 50s housewife: the idea that you must always be perfectly polished and never complain about how much work it takes.
I appreciate you for saying all this. I’m constantly exhausted. I work two jobs to make ends meet, I take care of my kid, I maintain the house, I take care of my four disabled parents, and there are still people around me, telling me I’m not doing enough. That I should’ve done this this week, or I should’ve had enough time for that. Screw them. I’m doing my best, so is everyone, and we’ve got this. And now, I’m going to get some much deserved sleep.
❤
I always learn from you Jessica. This one really hit home as I deal with all the changes in my body through the years and as I watch my 13 year old granddaughter grappling with how to achieve 'perfect glowing' skin.
Slicked-back buns were the fad when I was in middle school. I blame that for pulling back my hairline.
Another EDS/POTS and probably ADHD according to 4 different doctors woman here and thank you for making this video. I couldn’t put into words why the clean girl trend made me feel icky but you have. I’m glad I’m not the only one who feels like they are falling short. On a side note the only things that helped my acne prone skin was not being a teenager anymore and being sufficiently hydrated and still get them sometimes. The aesthetic is not possible for everyone and we’re not lazy or useless for everyone else feeling like this.
As you mentioned this isn't new. I remember growing up it was a woman's job to be the best mom ever, making homemade healthy meals, getting her kids out the door to a variety of extra curricular activities, volunteer in the PTA, have a perfectly clean house, beautiful garden, a thin body, excellent fashion sense and dote on her husband and make it look easy. I'm sure it was true before my childhood too. Same old misogyny (be perfect, don't complain) new package.
That ADHD story really touched me. I really struggle with day to day hygiene. While I try through forgetting or a lack of energy I often skip out on a few things. One thing to add, is I really struggle with showers. As well as the process, the initial feeling of the water hitting my skin in that way makes me so uncomfortable. I'd have a bath but I'm too fat and the water barely covers my body so its not relaxing.
I don't have a diagnosis yet (have been waiting for years for a diagnosis, so have given up at this point), but I'm 90% sure I'm neurodivergent. And through a lack of energy and focus, to sensory sensitivities, hygiene is always a struggle. So I'm happy to hear I'm not the only one,
Hygiene is a huge issue for me too, I relate to a lot of what you said. I’m on the other end of the scale, I’m too bony and can’t put on enough weight, so it hurts to sit or lie down in a bath because it feels like it’s bruising my bones.
Neurodivergence and chronic illnesses have a huge overlap, and almost always have comorbidities; we’re often dealing with so much more than “healthy” or “normal” people, so it’s no wonder we struggle so much with hygiene. I’m working really hard to remind myself of that, especially when I haven’t been well enough to properly shower for a month.
Sending you love and comfort 💕 I hope you have an okay day
Have you tried cat baths (basin of warm water, soap or soap alternative and a washcloth) works well and very efficient on water usage
You could look into getting a soak tub. They're a Japanese style tub that you use in a seated position which are taller and have a more square or circular footprint. They require much less water to fill and are popular with bustier ladies because the water level is high enough that it covers their bust. I've seen collapsible, fold away versions so you don't necessarily have to remodel your whole bathroom to get one installed. I'm not sure how affordable they are though.
@@gabriellehitchins9182 that’s basically what I do, but it’s a bit hard to keep my hair clean like that so I do have to have a proper shower once in a while to wash it properly
Sensitive skin baby wipes are your friend for the days when the thought of showering is overwhelming and exhausting. Dry shampoo and using a wooden comb can help get you through until you can manage to wash your hair. Hope this helps
I so appreciate that you mentioned and referenced Shanspeare's video on anti-hygiene influencers! They're such a great creator, and that video in particular is fascinating.
Personally, I’d heard the difference between body positivity and body neutrality as, confidence through beauty versus confidence through the function of your body, which as a disabled person never really appealed to me. So I kinda gave up on both and went with just expressing myself without much concern to my body and honestly not thinking about it helps
The "you are always enough" in the end got me. I always feel like I am not trying enough because I don't have a visible, physical disability, and discovering my autism only at 21 years old, I spent all my life trying to do things as if I wasn't disabled. This obviously took a massive toll on me and now I am still figuring out how to manage my things and some days I just cannot do it all. I cannot bring myself to work out, to cook a proper meal, to shower. And it felt so validating to see someone else I admire saying that they struggle too and that I am still enough when I cannot do those things.
Yeah, I’m old enough to remember that “clean girl” aesthetics were what WOC were rocking in the 90’s-2000’s (Brandi, JLo, Ciara, Rihanna all did the sleek hair, hi-status all-white fit, “natural” makeup, neutral acrylics, and demure, incredibly expensive jewelry first.) Then Becky with the IG came along and vultured it up.
Wouldn't that mean that the girls popularizing the clean girl look were children/preteens durring JLO's peak...meaning that they are just echoing the beauty standards of their childhood?
As someone currently going through a mental health low and struggling with daily hygiene, I needed this video a lot. Thank you!
I think it's really important to analyse if the problem exists outside of the internet. In this case, in real life, do you pay attention who is living according to the Clean Girl Aesthetic? If yes, why? Do you judge or feel judged when you or someone you know is not conforming with the "clean" look? If yes, why?
As someone who grew up obsessed with makeup and then got too tired and lazy (sleep over everything) to almost give up even sunscreen, I see all this trends as things that come and go, that don't affect me in real life (adult with a in office job and loads of things to do), and that other people around me don't even know that this trend exists! Parents, uncles, ants, siblings and even same age coworkers... Everybody too busy to care.
So, I highly recommend getting some perspective on this so you can analyse the situation in your lifestyle.
(Super informative video as always with reflections that surpass the trend itself)
Literally five minutes ago I turned on the shower closed the curtain and decided I was too scared to do it. I keep track of the amount of days I can go without showering every week because I absolutely hate it. I have ADHD, gender dysphoria and autism. Seeing my own body without anything covering it sends me into a panic attack. The texture of the water on my skin is so horrible and I just can't do it enough to be considered normal. So, yes, this video is very true, very good and refreshing to hear
Maybe you can shower with clothes on? Atho I don't know how you feel about wet clothes. Another option could be showering in the dark,early morning,or evening when the light is dimmer. Regardless I wish you luck on your bathing journey.🫡
I don't have the energy to wear any kind of makeup. Not sure how people do it.
I don't think I've heard of "body neutrality" before (even though it makes complete sense). I love this! Far and away more mentally healthy than "body positivity"!
Sadly body positivity has been water down from it’s original meaning which wasn’t really about loving your body
38:43 For those with hEDS and MCAS:
Many of us struggle with reactions to perfumes and a lot of beauty or skin care products contain perfume. This can make it hard to find low energy skin care products like Jessica speaks about. I wanted to raise that Essano, a NZ skincare company, has many products you can find work for sensitive skin because they're low or no perfume and those that do have a fragrance are natural not synthetic, another thing we tend to react to when products claim to be "naturally scented" (because this hides/confuses whether they mean it's scented by natural ingredients or scented to smell like natural ingredients). But be careful to check the ingredient list because their newer products are unfortunately leaning away from this practice, so my position on their products may change overall in the future if they keep phasing out products that work for people with sensitive skin and mcas. The other is product is Witchhazel. Witchhazel, the natural ingredient from the plant, is a natural skin toner and helps wound healing as a free bonus. It has a slightly strong unperfumed scent at first but it doesn't last on the skin and you become almost next day used to it. The one I buy has a small amount of alcohol in it and I find using this balances when my skin can be combination or oily (mostly in hot Aussie summertime) but it also helps with wound healing because it keeps the wound clean, dries it out, and then the Witchhazel acts as a natural healer on top of that. I use it because, like Jessica, my skin is very fragile and prone to scratching and the witch hazel helps the slow healing process go a little faster and heal quite a bit better than if I didn't use it (but not perfectly, our hEDS can't be overcome magically, unfortunately). I hope these can be of help. On a very low spoon day I try to be kind to myself with reminding myself that a face wipe isn't the cop out beauty sales people keep trying to push on me. It gets the job done and makes me feel a little better and that's what matters. If I can also manage the Witchhazel, fabulous. And if I can do the wipes, Witchhazel and a moisturiser/night/day cream (including spf when going outside at all) then that's a good day. If I manage all of that plus eye creams or other things I like using that's a great day. Sometimes doing these things you'll get one spoon of energy back in mood boost for the however many you expend, other days you won't. No matter what the day brings with spoon use and what you're able to do or not do you are a valid person who matters. I know this video helped me, I hope it helps others. And I hope the products I've mentioned might help people.
Kait of State has a great review channel for people with these issues
i just have to say that as a metalhead, i spend twice as long on 'basic' day makeup than i do before i go to a concert
i don't do tiktok but kinda figured that at best, the idea that looking like you're not wearing makeup would be "clean" if we're slut shaming women who visibly wear makeup. makes sense with all the racism too
I have a 2.5 year old and a 3 month old and, just yesterday, went on Pinterest to get ideas for holiday gifts which led me down a spiral of skincare and makeup and the sudden feeling that I have let myself go because of the fact that I don't wear makeup anymore (or usually find the time to get out of pajamas for the day or shower every day). I kept getting pushed the clean girl "no makeup makeup look" and started clicking on products and immediately got overwhelmed by the number of steps and the price tag... I could not have found this video at a better time. Thank you for this work you do, Jessica!
“Clean girl” makes me think of what they call “beauty base zero” in the Mockingjay book. What it would look like if a person got out of bed looking flawless. So it’s a false impression of perfection.
I am not happy with my body. I certainly don't love it. However, since I spend most of the day in my bedroom, where there are no uncovered windows, I don't feel that I need to put sun screen on. Yeah, I go outside and I live in Texas, but I figure if all those years horse riding in the days before sunscreen, I have pretty much made myself exposed already. Mom had 2 kinds of skin cancer and my brother has had melanomas removed, but they spent way more time outside in their later life than I have. And, I'm with you about bathing, I literally spent most of todays spoons yesterday. And I need to save spoons to go see a friend on Saturday. We have been meeting up for a few hours once a month trying to find a place between where she lives and where I live. This trip is a longer drive for her than for me, but before she leaves for home she gets to pick up some food for herself and her brother. She might even pick up something for her sister. Yes, they live together. But I get to drive through the road construction and she doesn't.
This is really what I needed to hear today. I've been struggling a lot lately to keep up a self-care routine, that includes feeding myself, & hearing you & others express similar things made me feel less alone. Thank you for the work that you do & for sharing ❤
The thing with needing assistance to bathe hit me hard. I was so constantly frustrated with not being able to bathe somehow daily. Sponge baths are great. They’re functional, it helps become more comfortable and if you don’t have the time and energy to do that it’s okay.
my life got piledrived by contamination OCD, im lying on the floor rn, haven't showered in weeks, waiting for tomorrow to come so i might be able to have a shower.
if i wasn't on fluoxetine; this vid would hav me balling my eyes out (in a good way)
thank you, i really needed this
i don't know how to get across how good feels to have someone like you* say this, i feel like a human, who just is.
i gotta show this video to my gf, it's too important to me not to
also: im a trans woman, don't think i didn't notice how you support us💗😘💗
also also: i really appreciate that you acknowledged that ocd is thrown around to jokingly/carelessly, most just don't care & treat it like a joke & not A CHRONIC MENTAL ILLNESS
sorry if this comment makes no sense, i don't have the spoons to fix it lol, i love you bye
You just bring tears to my eyes with your words. We - women of all sorts - are so set up by society. Amazing is what you are, and I don't even care what face cream or shampoo you use! Thanks so much for all your positivity!