Why we need pain to feel happiness | Brock Bastian | TEDxStKilda
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- Опубликовано: 6 окт 2016
- Pain is bad, but is it all bad? Pain killing is a massive industry because we want our lives to be filled with pleasure and free of all pain, but is this approach to pain and happiness really working? In this talk Social Psychologist Brock Bastian asks us to reflect on the nature of pain, pleasure, and happiness. He urges us to reconsider what really makes us happy, and tells us why we need pain to experience any happiness in life at all.
Brock Bastian is a Social Psychologist from the University of Melbourne. In his search for a new perspective on pain and happiness he has published widely and his work has received significant recognition, including prestigious awards and prizes. Brock is known for his tendency to take a novel approach to old problems and his work has been recognized as highly innovative. The findings from his research have received significant media attention, covered in outlets such as The New Yorker and The Economist.
This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at ted.com/tedx
A comfort zone is a nice place.... but nothing ever grows there...
Your comfort grows...
Iche And j honestly believe that’s just as important. Your comfort zone may come with you to the next hostile place.
Comfort zone doesn’t equal happiness tho
There's no growth without pain.
How can you grow if you're going to die living a painful life
100 percent ! Pain teaches you who u are , pain reinforces and turns u into a man
If I may add a personal opinion: both physical, biopsychosocial, emotional and psychological growth can all very well happen without any pain taking place simultaneously. Some may even go as far as to say that pain is an unnecessary part of growth and that people develop optimally in positive, supported environments where they are able to make their own choices and learn from deliberate neural input and information.
pain, failure and lost never thought ill see the value in those 3 words
He's right. The greatest amount of joy I have felt in life have occurred after overcoming a great deal of adversity.
Read the bible
no pain no gain
This concept is outdated and falling away. There is great gain that does not require pain.
The whole "no pain, no gain" paradigm is outdated & invalid. Inducing pain is not always the best way to make progress. Consider this...
@@Chumben9 So what's your alternative "Gain without Pain"?
@@jakejohansen1889 What's your alternative?
Joshua Johnson I disagree. Pain doesn’t have to be physical pain. The “no pain, no gain” really just means that to achieve something worth while you must put effort into it, and that will never change.
Great speech from Ironman :)
Lmfao!
Without the beard he is Fernando Verdasco's twin XD
I agree with what this guy said but at the same time when your heart is literally aching with emotional pain, you just wish it would go away. Even though we're told to embrace it and just sit with it and let that feeling pass... it's sooo hard!!
A Although hard, results of going through it, and pressing on, can be extremely rewarding!
Yeah emotional pain very hard to pass
N - A year down the track ... I hope you are well.
Hope you seen the light throught that dark lonely tunnel... I currently entering it myself.
@@ElSmurfy i like how sometimes we can find the people most similar to us on youtube. and then the pain becomes collective, shared and much less painful now
Not always do pain leads to happiness..it's all about how you deal with it..excess pain in my opinion leads to depression
Krishna P menon that's true!
But then again it's how you deal with it For example i was depressed not long ago but in 6 months i could completely turn my life around to the point that i can't appreciate this pain enough
Krishna P menon Yeah, it is how you deal with it. If you didn’t deal with it well it would progressively get worse.
He is speaking in a soothing, calm voice. Very nice to listen to. The talk is engaging, supported by scientific research and with elements of humour. Above all, it is true and to the point. I love it.
I think life is about balance. The more hard work (pain) we put in, the more satisfaction and happiness we gain.
It is really about feeling appreciation for things we have, and it is natural to appreciate things more after we had to earn it (through hardship or a long time).
word!
yup, the bigger the pain, the bigger the treasure you find later. If you are able to value that treasure.
Perhaps the best TEDx talk i've heard, among hundreds. Deep, insightful, clinical -- and addresses in a short space many different aspects of why we are in the state we are today despite, or because of, so much "progress" and "wellbeing"...
The most beneficial TED talk to hear whilst going through heart pain
pain builds resilience, increases our presence in life and makes us better people :)
we need pain to be (able to be) happy
Pain nd happiness is all temporary it's a thing we have to go through in life
It's a shame we have to suffer pain to appreciate happiness...but it seems true.....have a pain free day....
You become more amazing after going through each crisis. Wonderful talk!
Know pain..Accept pain ..feel pain! only then true peace can be obtained .........Shinra tensei !!
By pain🧡
"Look for the unconfortable to find confort." "Bitter days are sweet to remember." "The greatest pleasure is to despise pleasure" "Life begins at the end of your confort zone" "Life without suffering is not life" "if you want the rainbow you must put up with the rain". The stoics and Diogenes knew what´s up. Great talk and topic. Thanks mate!
The finest revelation of neural pain in a contemporary society ! Bravo , excellent
the hapiness - infinity can't be true he is right thank for the warm cover of 1 of my few feelings
Thank you so much, I am experiencing something emotionally painful in my life right now and your lecture was useful for me
I feel happy , after not feeling pain,..pain stops you from doing daily activities...pain makes you feel unhappy and depressed...like is happier and more rewarding without pain....pain stops you from doing what you want to do.
You completely missed this point of this video. I’m glad that is your outlook on life, but you didn’t understand the video.
I know I'm a better person because i went through painful situations, change never happens in a positive space, it's the transition from negative to positive so its very necessary.
Love to you and, love to anyone who read this.❤️💕❤️💓☮️❤️❤️
I feel grateful after listening to this!
Really enjoyed this Ted Talk different way of looking and viewing pain....Thank you.
Emotions are the spice of life. Shunning or rejecting them is essentially a fast road to feeling numb, and thus depression. Cherish every bit of anger, sadness or happiness. This way you know that you are alive, and in fact a warm blooded human.
Victor Ciupec I’d rather be dead. The only way to protect a child prom pain is not to have them. Anti-Natalist here.
Incredible. Suffering and happiness are facts of our lives, we can’t avoid one because we don’t like it. It’s natural for all beings.
Grace Santana Natural does not mean good.
Inspiring.... like yin and yang, extremities are connected....
Had an impact on my perspective with pain, Thank You !
The pain of a heartbreak is stronger than any other pain. A heartbreak can happened with the death of someone beloved, or someone from the past, or in worst cases, betrayal.
It's something iam speaking about from my own personal experiences. Cherish the pain.
That was one insightful talk!! Brilliant!
Thank you for the good talk.
So true! Great talk
Live and learn, we’re growing by the bunch which is why we only got our yourselves truly but not bad at all, just take it as being free half of your days to improve, love and work harder on yourself after you’ve fulfill your own desires and needs being self made. after realizing when your parents or someone you loved so just past away is upsetting seeing our elders passing away reflects on us like crazy how in any way we all going to die On some point of our life’s. it’s is why we gotta spreads love and being complimented felling worthy, contribute to everything you enjoy while it last to look back before your gonna pass to tell yourself “I’m proud and blessed I was able to enjoy life the ways I wanted it, no regrets”. been in loved for someone or with habits even luckier both. It’s all up to say if you care about yourself or don’t care about nothing.
Its like going to the Jim. You only bulk up when you tear the muscle during a work out to create more muscle fibers. Sure you are soar for a day or two but you'll be stronger and healthier for it. Negative emotions and pain (sadness and anger) just signal the potential for growth..... if you let it, but some people are so afraid of these emotions that they become stuck in them and become bitter or depressed instead of letting what was broken change... you already did the hard part...the work out. Ya might as well get the reward for it. But I agree, you can build up a resistance to pain. And life events that make your friends freak out will get a 'huh is that all... seen worst lol' from you. I myself was an eye witness to a car accident recently.... people (who didn't even see it happen like I did) were freaking the hell out. Only afterwards I realised i was the only calm one there... calling the ambulance, taking care of the victim (no idea how cause I have no medical training) and keeping the hysterical woman from shaking the victim...shit happens, its not like your hurt so ya might as well do what you can instead of going mental from stress. That's the beautiful thing when having had to deal with stressful situations.... not much will freak you out afterwards which is a lovely realization.
whiteonyx4 في و
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whiteonyx4 hehe *gym
What an awesome speaker!!
I love this speech, ty
Thank you.
This makes so much sense.
This is my favorite video of ted talk.
I am a Neurologist - spent the past 20 years focused on clinical treatment of pain...My only comment - AMEN!!
I learned something today. Ty!!!
The type of pain and how we deal with it are even more important! If we do not accept the pain, if we blame somebody else for causing it, if we believe its unjust (that we did not deserve it) etc then pain will not become more resilient - we will become bitter, resentful, morally and physically weaker , we will even get very ill (pain will become stress and stress brings all kinds of illnesses- mental, emotional and physical) So we will become everything opposite of what he talked about here and certainly not happy or a better person (for nor others)
I think its important to talk about all these things - how do we experience and deal with pain. The most obvious example is Jordan BP He was depresse and in mental emotional and physical pain that almost killed him and still might. It certainly did not make him happy. He was the one that would talk about pain in this same way, and i would to but obviously this subject is much more complex and not so easy to apply in real life even though i do agree with it but we (humans) have so many glitches...regardless of all our realizations on a cognitive level, its so damn hard to apply on an emotional psychological level...
good insights here.. it is a way of bonding with others and agree with a great deal of what is said. I think the pains of life are inevidable in life more so for some than others and there are some unnecessary added pains we don't want our kids to go through that would set them up for a lifetime of pains so it's instinctial for a parent to protect their children in that respect. There are also a factor where some people are more naturally sensitive than others and that should be a factor too.
Debbie Davis q
Life is a paradox..(give in order to receive, a plane takes off into the wind). Pain isn't an impediment, it's a pathway.
good talk..
i just wrote an article about pain and suffering and how important and how much of an inevitable counterpart it is to pleasure and happiness. like two sides of a coin. this is one of the secrets *in plain sight* in shamanic metaphysics.
i would've liked to hear bastian say at the end how a university graduation was the result of struggle and pain in studying; and how the love of one's life was the result of the pain and suffering that went into building one's character in order to to be able to meet love.
woooowW!! this man is so incredible!!
The thing is,...when the pain goes,...you have to to meaning ful things....because different types of pains seem to set us back .....and it's always there to , get you later when you are not aware.
Without pain, life wouldnt be hard. Everyone needs to feel pain. Pain strengthens us. Its like going to the gym. You may be sore for a couple days but you gain from it. Its the same with pain. You will get stronger once you defeat pain.
Such a good listening
drink champagne everytime he says pain
There is a great deal of pain in life and perhaps the only pain that can be avoided is the pain that comes from trying to avoid pain. - RD Laing
This is weird.
After watching this, I am now desperately searching for something to cause immediate emotional and physical pain.
I should stop watching ted talks.
You should not seek pain actively, but you also shouldn't fear it so much.
Hostile Hero I wish I could give U my pain of heartbreak
start with hot water or cold showers. Get used to that
Do push-ups
or burpees
but what if that pain is too big to me to handle it
Pain is not necessary to create happiness. Millions of people are daily creating happiness without also creating pain. Yes pain is an aspect of life but is not at all always necessary to create happiness or joy. Many things in life, especially when we are younger we learn with great joy and it does not cause us pain to learn many of these things. Also when we grow up we can learn to create joy and happiness without having to go through a lot of pain.
I think the issue is that those sources of happiness that doesn't require pain or sacrifice are the low hanging fruits. It's not that they are any less valuable/meaningful than the ones that require pain, but since we naturally seek them out a lot more we build up a tolerance to their impact. You can of course reduce this tolerance by abstaining from such sources of happiness periodically.
If you look at the life of the Buddha, protected from anything related to illness or death, even to the extent of autumn leaves being swept up before he could see them did nonetheless witness illness, old age and death in the outside to his utter existential angst but leading to his teachings, giving up the kingdom would would one day become king of and a new religion. He suffered more from being so protected.
A balanced amount of pain, in just the right dosage helps, else its counter effective...when we aren't taught emotional agility, we deny ourselves the complete experience of life...Why not start addressing pain as "pay attention inwards".
non destructive pain is the path
this is so good
WOW GREAT VIDEO!!
"sunshine wouldn't feel so good if it wasn't for rain; jewelry wouldn't feel so good if it wasn't for pain."
Continuous pain is not a good thing tho. But great talk. Thank you.
“I Want You To Feel Pain, To Think About Pain, To Accept Pain, To Know Pain.”
“Those Who Do Not Understand True Pain Can Never Understand True Peace.”
.
."Nagato". [Naruto Shippuden]
Nagato is long gone, this world shall know pain 😭
".. and the world shall know pain" - Pain
Superb...
Nice one Brock! Go get em!
dope ted talk !
great
Good talk
I saw the ice bucket challenge going around--I didn't realize that's what it was for!
I was thinking about how I envy people that are brought to tears by scenes in shows or by songs because they’ve felt pain and I’m 20 and don’t think I’ll ever be able to feel that it’s frustrating because I have a natural talent at picking up music pretty quickly and if I had a difficult childhood and used music to cope I would be an amazing musician rn I feel but all I can feel rn is disappointment that I don’t know true pain because things that touch your soul don’t touch me in that way it’s always surface level
Me to because I used to be able to cry and be happy everyday and all that but now it just doesn't work I feel like I'm a dead beat :/
An actually good ted talk.
Lean into the discomfort!! ✌️
We have an experience which whatever doesn't kills you makes you stronger. Some how I have experience tha feel
I'm surprised he didn't mention congenital analgesia (painless people) and the danger they face in life.
Thanks for this interesting ad inspiring talk. In fact is not a revolutionary idea as you say, Brock. It is an idea brought up by ancients and moderns philosophers, about the sensual pleasure and the emotional pleasure (happiness). Today the state of well-being in western civilization over all, produced an inversion of values that originated a moral degradation in good habits. Emotional pain should be accepted because it conncects us with reality, and then it originates emotional pleasure. Sensual pleasure is not happiness, is only a short moment of satisfaction, phisical and material only. Is not rational. Today our societies are not rational but passional and looking for evasion of reality in an hedonistic concept of life unprovided of humanity and goodness. This is an explanation about the end many great rich players and actors. Thanks.
Pain and, dare I say it, suffering are necessary for contentment. We need not pursue suffering; it will find us. The question is really one of hope and the source of that hope.
This 🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻
Abusive parents: I knew it! I'm the best parent.
It seems as though...when we run away from external sources of pain, we become our own sources of pain (psychological dysfunctionality) which is often more permanent
Wow
Meaningful=happiness
The way pain creates something meaningful is by forcing us to be present and seeing thing's from a new perspective, where feeling nothing (no pain) becomes something enjoyable and desirable..
Doing something that takes effort and is painful creates even more meaning, because you constantly have to tell yourself that the effort you put in has meaning or else you will have no motivation and you will stop.
Meaningful=happiness
If you don't have any meaning to what your doing it's never going to create happiness.
Nothing has value or meaning it's you that tell yourself that value and meaning actually exists, it's you that created the concept of meaningful things so that you could have happiness in your life... something to live for, so that you don't die. Meaningless=death
Meaning=life
This is why people do suicide, they can't see anything meaning in their life.
So it's good to not realise that nothing really has meaning, if you fully understand it you may do suicide because without meaning there is no happiness.. But your brain is going to stop you from doing that. But it's good to understand it to a point where you stop valuing unimportant stuff, even that is really hard, if you have social anxiety it would help you a lot. Because you can stop caring about what other people think about you.
Ok just so know I'm only 15 years old, I'm not sure if anything I'm saying is true or even close to true. So don't take me too seriously xd
Writing down this stuff just helps me to stop thinking about it.
Sini Ijäs Slotte we should talk and bounce ideas around
Know pain, Know Gain!
Is this why I love eating super spicy food? I enjoy food more when it's very spicy. And yea, I've experienced too much in life at a young age.
such a good voice and calm speaking. If you start work on radio, you can fine lots of followers like me :)
Em chơi hay quá
❤️ 🌎 _"To attain eternal happiness one must suffer. He who has reached the state of self-sacrifice has true joy. Temporal joy will vanish."_
_"The more difficulties one sees in the world the more perfect one becomes. The more you plough and dig the ground the more fertile it becomes. The more you cut the branches of a tree the higher and stronger it grows. The more you put the gold in the fire the purer it becomes. The more you sharpen the steel by grinding the better it cuts. Therefore, the more sorrows one sees the more perfect one becomes. That is why, in all times, the Prophets of God have had tribulations and difficulties to withstand. The more often the captain of a ship is in the tempest and difficult sailing the greater his knowledge becomes. Therefore I am happy that you have had great tribulations and difficulties. For this I am very happy - that you have had many sorrows. Strange it is that I love you and still I am happy that you have sorrows."_ -‘Abdu’l‑Bahá, Writings of the Bahá’í Faith
*No pain / no gain*
❤❤
Without pain, my body feels numb.
Tell those of us with ptsd we need more pain
This is horsht
He's not saying we need to actively seek pain. He's saying that society needs to rethink what pain is and shift it's focus away from more unnecessary pain avoidance and denial. How this translates to you with ptsd is that you shouldn't be told to deny that it exists (clearly, you don't deny this). Rewind 50 or even 30 odd years ago, people with suffering on a level of PTSD and conditions of the like were often told to "just get on with it" and that attitude is thankfully/hopefully changing somewhat. Anyway, I'm sorry you're suffering, hope you're managing and wish you the best.
This guy obviously doesn't live with chronicle pain. I appreciate what he said and agree with much of it, but there's also a point to which pain needs to be mitigated before it causes severe damage.
*chronic
7:00 Some pain is necessary, and too much is debilitating
no this is like saying you need to have a broken leg if you want to enjoy walking and running.
Life is all about Balance and not extremes. Written in the Hindu Holy Book Bhagwad Geeta that the man who treats Happiness and Sorrowness equally is a superior human being
Duality
Gospel
This would have been awesome to attend dressed as cenobites :)
Three days grace - pain
I guess we know who's into leather!
pain isn't an impediment but a pathway
"What nourishes me also destroys me" Angelina Jolie tattoo
This world shall know pain