So remember: 1. Take action when you're lonely 2. Change your responses to failure 3. Protect your self esteem 4. Stop ruminating 5. Battle negative thinking Now actually practice this, don't just binge watch another 20 self help videos :)
"Studies tell us that even a 2 minute distraction is enough to break the urge to ruminate inthat moment. So I knew what to do... Within one week my whole outlook changed and became more positive and more hopeful."
I just lost my job and was so depressed I couldn't get out of bed. I just laid there and sobbed for days. I found this and it hit home. I cried through the whole video. I was so grateful that he posted this. I got out of bed and got dressed. I still am sad, but I am actively looking for another job, actually got an interview too. This video made a great difference in my life, and am glad it was created and uploaded.
Hugs. I feel u dear. I lost my job a year ago and I was so helpless and demotivated. But life goes on. I took time to digest everything and decided one day to keep things aside and start again. I did small food catering with my remaining savings and thank god, things started to change slowly. I managed to get what I needed eventho it's not that much but it helps. I hope u will find something that can at least get u going. Don't give up 💓
Genuine help for people who tend to do negative self-talk. This book makes you understand what factors are important for your own happiness and what you can get rid of in order to be emotionally strong. I read it over and over so that I can apply what the book teaches to my everyday life. I also got this sense that I’m communicating with the author through the author’s personal experiences. It’s definitely worth a purchase.
“LONELIENESS: Creates a deep physiological wound, one which distorts our perceptions and scrambles our thinking. It makes us believe that those around us care much less than they actually do. It makes us really afraid to reach out; why set yourself up for rejection and heartache, when your heart is already aching more than you can stand” …. “LONELIENESS is defined purely subjectively; it depends solely at whether you feel emotionally or socially disconnected from those around you.” WOW, WOW, WOW!!!! THIS has been the missing link is my journey!!!!! Knowledge is VERY powerful!
I’ve just watched it (6 years after you!) and I agree, it’s been 17 minutes very well spent. I’d be interested to know if you have benefited from the video since you watched it.
this guy has a great voice and tone. I happened to listen to this talk without looking at it. this guy should do bedtime stories or something. I mean that sounds silly but it would just make me feel so much better before going to sleep. bedtime lectures about emotional health and hygiene.
I am retired and live alone. I'm never lonely. I lost my driver's license due to failing eyesight so I can no longer flit over to a friend's house. My son is attentive and generous to me. He solved the problem of my getting to the grocery store (or anywhere) with Uber -- which he pays for! He takes me to our favorite Chinese restaurant for lunch, and once in a while to a fine restaurant for dinner. I keep in touch with friends and relatives who live in other states with emails and phone calls. It's all good! Living alone means I can eat what I want when I want. I can stay up until the wee hours watching a great old movie or reading a good book
Yes. There is much difference in Loneliness and Living alone. I am also bound at home due to my illness, but I enjoy this staying alone, of course my family is there, but I enjoy my reading, emroidary , ect. and connect relatives and freinds virtually,etc. Of course my daughter takes utmost care about my medicines and essentials.
SO POWERFUL! “LONELINESS: Creates a deep physiological wound, one which distorts our perceptions and scrambles our thinking. It makes us believe that those around us care much less than they actually do. It makes us really afraid to reach out; why set yourself up for rejection and heartache, when your heart is already aching more than you can stand” …. “LONELINESS is defined purely subjectively; it depends solely on whether you feel emotionally or socially disconnected from those around you.”
I have some real emotional hygiene to take care of Guy Winch. This video made me realize that. And so many others need the same. Thank you so much. Awesome.
Our minds and feelings are not trustworthy friends. They are more like moody friends, who can be totally supportive one minute and extremely unpleasant the other moment.
plane to the brain es, yes that is a good point. ever see a toddler fall and when he thinks no one is watching, gets up immediately and walks away? but let mom over react and the toddler sits there and begins to cry. other people's interpretation of our situation and our response can be VERY powerful and insidious. personally, i learned to keep certain events to myself so that I could decide how to interpret them and respond accordingly.
Wow! I really needed to hear this. I suffer with really terrible emotional hygiene due to my childhood. Im a chronic ruminator. I'm so glad I trusted my instinct and click on your video and listen to what you had to say. May this day be the first step into practicing healthy emotional hygiene. Thank you so much!
Guy, this was a great talk. The key takeaway I got was "A different kind of favoritism - how much more we value the body than we do the mind." That is true, I have seen physically fit, almost physically perfect athletes walk around with emotional infections, gaping holes in their souls almost... probably due to this lack of emotional hygiene you discuss. I myself have favored the physical, almost completely neglecting the emotional. Your work will shed awareness on this important topic. Who cares about anti-aging and extending the length of our lives, if we're miserable?!?!
Very enlightening and encouraging. As a mother, I witness children being told "what not to do", instead of "what to do" when it comes to emotions and social interaction simply because we adults may not understand what to do ourselves. This presentation has convinced me to invest in teaching myself and my family about emotional hygiene. I like the practical facts on how to make changes for the better.
What a brilliant talk ! Now, unless someone tells you about such ideas, you will never figure this out ! Why is this not part of a basic education, begining in pre-school, or kindergarten?
Thank you. I struggle daily with emotional issues that have dogged me for what feels my entire life. I found myself focus in on the sound of your calm voice and felt your words reach inside my muddled head and in some small way, something has shifted. I hope this is the beginning of something life changing. I will keep hold of these new feelings and see where they take me.
I've listened to an enormous number of TED Talk presentations and this has been the most affective and outstanding one. The content, the stories, the clarity, the purpose were all sharp as a blade. His humour in his stories and how he delivered his humour... I would pay for it. Guy Winch, if you read this I want you to know. YOU ARE EV'ER'RI'THIN'K!! 😊
This lack of attention to our psychological well being has to be the reason so many people suffer from mental illness and addiction. I have PTSD, clinical depression and anxiety. I am a recovering addict as well. I have a masters in mental health counseling (definitely not a doctor, lol). I have been a victim of many types of abuse in the past and I did some EMDR for my PTSD (Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing) it helped drastically with my PTSD, but I would t say I'm "back to normal". I still can't be woken up in certain ways without going into "fight or flight". My emotional struggles have never been fewer like as physical problem would be, however they have kept me from normally functioning for a deep depressive and addiction episode for about 3 years. I had lost hope. The lies in my mind had taken over. Now I am rebuilding my life. Actively involved in AA and NA and I will get licensed to start my career as a therapist when I have enough sober time and I am emotionally healthy enough. It's okay though, because I am on the way back up!! The battle of my mind has been the most difficult struggle of my life. Thanks for the video!!! 😊
Jenni Smeltzer it. Certainly can jenni I've been battling for about 16 months now after an accident , and every day is a struggle, a struggle with destiny, you do need to find time to take stock of the things you can control.and almost centre your beliefs around that, all things have to have a core purpose
Important points that he brought up:: * Emotional awareness. * Loneliness won't just make you miserable, it will kill you. Chronic loneliness increases likelihood of early death by 14%. * Loneliness = subjective, how well you feel emotionally or socially connected from those around you. * Loneliness distorts your perception. Failure as well. * Break bad psychological habits. Interrupt negative pattern, e.g. circular thinking, obsession, rumination.... Take action. Shift your behavior. Do something. * You can't believe you can't succeed. You must fight the feeling of helplessness.
I've been watching Ted talks for years but this is truly the most powerful talk so far. It just pointed out my problem, I was always reluctant to reach out due to the apprehension of rejection, constantly unstable propensity to trust to people around. I must change these. thank you so much for you talk!
This is SO good. This man's speaking voice is incredible. He would be great to listen to reading audio books--soothing, yet engaging. The information and points he makes are so important. Will be sharing this widely.
There isn't a Band-Aid to fix small failures or even big ones, and the psychological effect that come with them. Its quite expensive to treat ur psychological hygiene (which shouldn't be the case) because everyone needs help. If u have emotional health issues u are already stained in America. They should teach emotional health in schools and everywhere honestly. I loved this speech 😍
Should start at home from year 1 onward. Parents need to teach this to their kids. And the best and possibly unique way is by modelling it. So to start with, parents need to know why and how to do it, and become good at practicing it.
Dr. Winch, congratulations on your brother's health. I almost lost a brother I am very close, too and his survival was the best gift I have received in life so far.
Guy Winch So damn true!! Your talk was inspirational and eve opening! I used to do this all the time! I was very depressed. But when I wanted to ruminate, I would immediately start playing games or play some music or watch a movie! It helped me a lot. Battling negative thoughts is an important aspect of human lives. It not only controls your bad thoughts, it can improve your outlook as well. I always used to tell my friends that psychological health is more important than physical health! Now I've found someone who reinforces my idea!
WOW! I want more. Okay, forget the fact he's eloquent and good looking and sparse of words therefore each and every word packs a punch, it's basic, even scriptural, and so true. Thank you Mr. Winch! I'm sharing on my FB and subscribing.
This video helped me. I'm passing through all this, a few minutes ago I was so frustrated without the desire to live anymore and I saw this video in the recommendations. Just what I needed, thank you
Thank you so much to Dr. Winch for this powerful talk. I have been out of work for some time and am struggling with getting back up to look for work again after each rejection. I am sharing it with several struggling friends and maybe we can all help each other. THANK YOU again!
In a world in flux and turmoil and so much emotional pain and suffering there is a need for his message of internal reflection and redirection of ones energy in thoughts of uplifting instead of self punishing. Great message, thank you.
Gold Medal! Of all the TedTalks if enjoyed (and I've enjoyed many), this is The Best! Critical topic, given the attention and treatment that it requires ... Finally!
Very interesting. So true. I am so happy with myself because I have already been practicing what you say. I am 100 per cent happy on my own. My interests are to dress nice most times and keep planning more holidays. So therapeutic. The loneliest I have ever felt was when I was in a relationship. Thank you.
Oh, my dear Mr Winch. What certain truth you speak. I wish there was a deeper/better expression than just thankyou, for your learning, your wisdom, your effort and your sharing. I was a primary school teacher in Australia in the years 1986 -1995, I had many children in my class with sad, difficult and often very damaging problems. Obviously, they frequently also had serious behaviour issues and problems expressing their emotions appropriately. Quite often, when I could see it was needed, I left my normal lesson plan and took the 'deviation' to talk about feelings, stirred the empathy that they could develop for each other, reassured them that their emotions were to be felt, that they could talk about problems etc and many other things. I started a group for children who felt isolated, or whose parents were divorcing, or who were grieving for somebody. I was amazed at how much those children responded. Their behaviour calmed, their achievements increased and I don't value the academic more than the personal achievments here, like being brave enough to speak up for yourself or another person. To admit to feeling fear, sadness, loneliness, anger etc. I was always a very popular teacher with students and parents, but of course not with those in higher authority, (the school principle) some colleagues etc, maybe they were afraid or jealous of my popularity or abilities with difficult children. Now, in my mid-fifties and living with my husband and younger son in Germany, I feel lonely, extremely unconfident, lost, unvalued and seriously isolated. I agree with all you have said. Hearing you has reminded me that I can change, begin afresh, learn, reach out and try again to be myself. Thankyou for being an inspiration, I really need one!
I am so thankful for this talk! I feel that I learned a lot of this on my own and from mentors, but it is not talked about enough! Failure and lowered self-esteem kills success. It's so disappointing to see so many people give up on their dreams because of their fear of failure. Thanks for the 2 minute distraction tip. Guy- you are a captivating public speaker.
Excellent! be the change! I've started a healing journey about 3 years ago after a break up, and I'm grateful for it because I'm learning how to truly love and care for myself emotionally and otherwise. I'm growing in a way I couldn't before, though I was devastated. I'm constantly challenging my beliefs and my thinking. It's amazing what I've discovered. I share this with people as often as I can. It's worth the work. It's worth more than gold.
Thank you Guy. Everything you spoke of is very true. When my thoughts are negative or confused, I have to fight really hard to do one thing all the way through... even if it is washing a coffee cup. I will wash it, dry it, and put it away. That is one positive thing I have done all the way through. This almost always will lead me to do one more positive thing... and so on. Fighting negative thinking IS a battle... and you are correct to suggest that one should fight it by a positive action... no matter how small... because, at least for me, that will lead to another healthy thought or action.
no more speech skills but quite touching sharing. cannot hold crying in my eyes when he said why do i reach out call. Small creatures like us are so weak for letting others know we are hurting deeply inside.But we can do better now since there are friends like this.
A great TED and I learned so much in such a little time. And I am very happy his brother is OK and could recover from this illness. Thank you for sharing this wise words.
One the very best TED talks I've listened to. I recognized and identified myself in every single point and it gave the determination to clean my mental clutter and focus greatly on my mental hygiene! Thanks very much mister Winch!
So very well said! Emotional hygiene - great name too. This is an all too common feature of my coaching practice. It is scary how often you see people, in my work, especially leaders and managers, caught up in what looks like performance or behavioural issues with themselves or others and trying to "fix" them, when they feel so isolated, lonely and separated from everyone else, sometimes in the most intense emotional pain. It's no wonder performance suffers, they're stressed and can't seem to break the cycle. People are amazing, I am so privileged to be able to work with them! Again - a brilliant presentation!! Thank you,
Guy Winch is amazing. I am so grateful I came across this talk. I immediately bought his book and I constantly go back to it. When I feel like I need comfort, I pull up one of Guy's talks. I always recommend his work to people and they always love him! He's a great speaker with a great message.
It's so comforting to long entertaining negative thoughts in one's mind. I had suffered more than once and paid a heavy price for it. I even had to lose my job. These days I slowly recover from such a habit, thanks to motivational speakers!
I like listening to TED Talks while reading the comments because I can learn so much more with your thoughts too as much as listening to the video itself
Profoundly amazing. This has got to be the most important talk since ancient philosophy. This man may very well be the father of future humanity!! Can you imagine what would happen if this was taught to one generation of children?!?!?!? Oh. My. Sweet. Divine!!!!
As a member of an anonymous program, having worked the 12 steps and following the suggestions of the program...it’s almost the exact same thing Guy is talking about. I mean you can get the same positive results. We call it isolation instead of loneliness. We say internal unmanageability for believing untrue things about ourselves. It’s too much to explain here, but if you need extra help with the suggestions Guy has offered. I promise a 12 step program, worked to the best of you ability will fix you!
I was coaching a client yesterday and remembered your Ted Talk. I sent the client a link. He was going over things and imagining the worst in every situation. I hope he benefits from this as I have. My family has all enjoyed and benefited from the talk.
Thank you for sharing this. It's a interesting way to look at emotional health. I battle loneliness and rejection and because of it my life has been altered in many negative ways.
This was great! a lot of times you do just beat up yourself and i think this talk is mostly addressing those cases. for me however, i went through a period of depression but i think it was good my mind responded that way. i was spoiled, self centered, and lazy. i think that depression helped to make a major change in the way i am. i knew what i wanted to be but i didnt have the motivation, until i felt miserable and i had to climb out of that. (obviously there are bigger problems out there). I think being overly negative over nothing is bad but a lot of our emotional responses are good and our actions are what need to change. (like sometimes i would emotionally beat myself up but i deserved it because for me to be happy with myself i needed to change for the better)
At first, I listened to this while reading the responses, how could some one cry? After a while, I cannot do nothing but crying when I heard this dating woman story! We are are her, at different times! Thanks, dr, your talk is amazing! I did ruminate (thanks for letting me know this term), because of the hurt I have before. To forgive others, to forgive myself, to taken action when feeling helpless!
This is one of the most helpful, interesting and valuable talks I have seen. Thank you for real examples, stories, and clear, straight forward techniques to use. How refreshing to listen to someone who is wanting and willing to actually help people. I am accustomed to watching people "look good & sound good" without usable techniques. To top it off, the love you have for your brother is so palpable, and that connected me to you and what you had to say. I lost my sister 3 years in a scuba diving accident. She was a truth teller and very important and dear to me. The world and life looks different to me since then. I have always been a seeker of love and happiness. Now I have to work harder at it. I am lucky, because when I get quiet and ask, she is right here. And she is even wiser now -- and available when I need her. I listened to your speech at a good time as my missing her and loneliness was getting my energy. What a beautiful reminder to move away from rumination and shift focus. I recognize that we need to keep a daily practice to make a habit of choosing positive thoughts about ourselves and the world around us. I am grateful. Thank you.
I remember a time way back in high school when my drama teacher had the class write critiques of each student's performance in some kind of soliloquy with blocking we had to do. I performed poorly and I knew it. I wasn't at all prepared, I may even have smoked pot before class, to boot. At the end of my terrible performance I was handed a stack of notes. I opened one - it was scathing. I decided to throw the rest in the trash and save myself the emotional pain. I was only 15. I have no idea where that kind of emotional strength came from.
I found this lecture while trying to escape or understand the guilt my mother places on me. It makes so much sense to gain control of my thoughts and feelings. My son has recently enrolled in psychology courses. I can't wait to have him listen to TEDx.
A stunning, eye and mind opening talk. I never realized how deep is our need for mental self-help until I've been exposed to this talk, and subsequently bought the book and read it passionately. Thank you Dr. Winch and lots of success in spreading the word. Danny
The world you are describing, is exactly the world I want to live in the rest of my life . I have been saying for more than 30 years that we all belong in this world, but it was obviously just a nice idea. Now (in the age of 74) I feel at last that EVEN I BELONG IN THE WORLD WITH ALL THE OTHERS. Now I will use the rest of my time to help other people understand and feel the same way. I thank you for the video and wish all of us A HAPPY 2020! Just reading through the text before pushing COMMENT, I look out the window and see a beautiful cloud in all the colours of the rainbow. If I knew how, I would have finished here with a SMILEY.
we were thought to think about ourselves the way we do. If what you were taught, does not serve you anymore: 1. find teachers that will reflect what you secretly know about yourself 2. let go of your old teachers even if they guilt trip you or you guilt trip yourself (we are not indispensable) 3. allow yourself to grief the loss (as long as you need not matter what) 4. forgive yourself for having been the perpetrator of your relationships, your thoughts and your believes 5. write, and I mean write literally, yourself in to who you wish to be and take daily micro action in that direction. 6 and of course, with fellowship, prayer and meditation. It's the practice of shifting consciousness. Circumstances don't matter, our perception of ourselves does.
And how do we know if what we were taught doesn't serve us anymore, if our sense of self depends only on our perceptions? Isn't it magical thinking? It's like as if the perception of ourselves can only change after the consciousness shift. Cause and effect are hard to replace in this context, though. Like you can change because you have already changed inside, you were just not still conscious of that.
I had/have a Problem with a specific thought about living in a Simulation that made me feel extremely lonely and sad. This thesis isnt true or false, and therefore not verified. But the possibility that it is real made me think that everything is fake and I slowly began to derealize. Ruminating about this scenario and the emotions towards my Family and others which would be fake in this case, let me burst into tears a lot of times. But this video gave me so much motivation to just believe and fight for myself. I thank you so much
Meditation is actual cure for this. There are tons of studies showing numerous benefits. Try this: 1. Sit comfortably with your back straight 2. close your eyes and focus on your breathing (try to slow it down a little bit) 3. every time you see some thought come up (or you even get caught up in it without realizing) just say "thought" and get back to your breathing. Don't try to suppress your thoughts, just let them run in the background Do this every day for 5 minutes (set a timer) and over time gradually increase to 30. You will start to see some results after month.
Viktor, Unfortunately most folks love the intellectual exercise of the content of this talk. Emotional hygiene - a catchy phrase that surprise listeners. What you share... totally agree. Forget visiting psychologists n psychiatrists... they are robbers. The solution is always what lies hidden between our both ears - the discriminating mind. Thanks you for the tips. I do meditation in motion - practicing my taichi routine every morning.
Thank you for the suggestion. I have known about the benefits of meditation for years. Many of my friends do it regularly and tell me how much they benefit from it, and yet I can't seem to get myself to do it on a regular basis. It's like I have some sort of aversion to it. A voice inside says that it's a waste of time, it won't work, and I should be doing something else. Sigh.
im happy that he spoke about something like this...i myself was facing these negative things in life..nothing was going good n everything was a mess...but i recovered from it...its only us who can actually pull ourself from bad times..we should reject those negativities from our life n just throw them in the dustbin..
Loved it. Thanks for sharing your knowledge with all. Personally, I practice 6 dimensions of health. I call them the circle of health - Physical, mental, emotional, spiritual,social and financial health. Each of these areas play a dynamic roles depending on ones needs at any given time of one's life
I'm 16 and agree, this is so crucial to development yet people grow up understanding none of it, instead how to use differentiation to work out the cross section of a tunnel and whether a truck can fit through it. Lovely stuff.
One of the best, if not actually the very best Ted(x) Talk I've seen. Thank you Mr. Winch. I will look into, and possibly devour, the literature you have produced.
"..... Our quality of life will raise drastically if we all began to practice emotional hygiene...if people knew how to overcome failure...that's the world we can live in......" Thank you!
So remember:
1. Take action when you're lonely
2. Change your responses to failure
3. Protect your self esteem
4. Stop ruminating
5. Battle negative thinking
Now actually practice this, don't just binge watch another 20 self help videos :)
That's me, watching hours of self development vids and putting none of it into practice
Thank you for point list. It's a good mantra! LOL
@@AIbetacodev17gdx666
This is normal for your brain to be filled enugh... practice will come afterwards naturally.
@@AIbetacodev17gdx666 actually you are planting seeds....a seemingly small action can blossom and lead to some unimaginable, amazing outcome later.
"Studies tell us that even a 2 minute distraction is enough to break the urge to ruminate inthat moment. So I knew what to do... Within one week my whole outlook changed and became more positive and more hopeful."
I just lost my job and was so depressed I couldn't get out of bed. I just laid there and sobbed for days. I found this and it hit home. I cried through the whole video. I was so grateful that he posted this. I got out of bed and got dressed. I still am sad, but I am actively looking for another job, actually got an interview too. This video made a great difference in my life, and am glad it was created and uploaded.
I hope you are doing well
hey lisa..how's life now? i am feel u..and it just happened to me..this video was so helpfull..
Hugs. I feel u dear. I lost my job a year ago and I was so helpless and demotivated. But life goes on. I took time to digest everything and decided one day to keep things aside and start again. I did small food catering with my remaining savings and thank god, things started to change slowly. I managed to get what I needed eventho it's not that much but it helps. I hope u will find something that can at least get u going. Don't give up 💓
How are you now? I hope that you are healed and found a better job
Genuine help for people who tend to do negative self-talk. This book makes you understand what factors are important for your own happiness and what you can get rid of in order to be emotionally strong. I read it over and over so that I can apply what the book teaches to my everyday life. I also got this sense that I’m communicating with the author through the author’s personal experiences. It’s definitely worth a purchase.
I cannot express with a "like" how wonderful and insightful this talk is. Thanks Guy!!
+Jesse Taylor I A terrific communicator. Pacing his sentences well and using humor additionally.
Thanks Bodyknowledge 77!
What a Guy
“LONELIENESS: Creates a deep physiological wound, one which distorts our perceptions and scrambles our thinking. It makes us believe that those around us care much less than they actually do. It makes us really afraid to reach out; why set yourself up for rejection and heartache, when your heart is already aching more than you can stand” ….
“LONELIENESS is defined purely subjectively; it depends solely at whether you feel emotionally or socially disconnected from those around you.”
WOW, WOW, WOW!!!! THIS has been the missing link is my journey!!!!! Knowledge is VERY powerful!
This is the best 17 minutes I've spent in a long, long time. Thank you, Dr. Winch, for greatly improving my day. Four stars. Must see.
You still won't give it 5 stars? Your level of perfectionism is unhealthy.
Maybe his scale is 1-4.
@@Mudskippered the best comment in came across today 😂🤣
I’ve just watched it (6 years after you!) and I agree, it’s been 17 minutes very well spent. I’d be interested to know if you have benefited from the video since you watched it.
@@Shybairnsgetnowt1 and you?
this guy has a great voice and tone. I happened to listen to this talk without looking at it. this guy should do bedtime stories or something. I mean that sounds silly but it would just make me feel so much better before going to sleep. bedtime lectures about emotional health and hygiene.
I agree
Yes I just did myself! I also like to listen to meditations or just meditate on my own!
+greimalkin Haha..It bored you n you listened to it.. ??!!! What does it say about YOU ..?
I just had a similar thought and posted a comment before seeing yours.
Yeah, it reminds of when Ringo Starr narrated the Thomas the Tank Engine stories.
I am retired and live alone. I'm never lonely. I lost my driver's license due to failing eyesight so I can no longer flit over to a friend's house. My son is attentive and generous to me. He solved the problem of my getting to the grocery store (or anywhere) with Uber -- which he pays for! He takes me to our favorite Chinese restaurant for lunch, and once in a while to a fine restaurant for dinner. I keep in touch with friends and relatives who live in other states with emails and phone calls. It's all good! Living alone means I can eat what I want when I want. I can stay up until the wee hours watching a great old movie or reading a good book
More power to you
Yes. There is much difference in Loneliness and Living alone. I am also bound at home due to my illness, but I enjoy this staying alone, of course my family is there, but I enjoy my reading, emroidary , ect. and connect relatives and freinds virtually,etc. Of course my daughter takes utmost care about my medicines and essentials.
Thank you so much for sharing your story , I learn a lot from you
@@mendgudlisdaughter1871 Agreed, Solitude is its name. When one relaxes from the constant influx of the world.
I am a self-help/metaphysics junkie, and I never heard it put quite this way. Really insightful and eye-opening. Thank you so much.
+Jamie Sung I agree!
+Jamie Sung Self-help/metaphysics junkie ahhahahaa.....nice:)
+Jamie Sung me too i love ted talks. this one was particularly great
+Jamie Sung It's cheaper than therapy!... probably more effective too
It's not more effective....I've watched about 200 ted talks this year, and it hasn't helped as much as therapy has. Rebt is fuckin awesome!:)
I have seen so many of the Talks and this is by far one of the best ones I have listen too. Thank you for this I really appreciate it.
Agreed.
Oh man, thanks for saving me the urge to listen to more Ted Talks. I found this to be extremely elementary and obvious.
SO POWERFUL!
“LONELINESS: Creates a deep physiological wound, one which distorts our perceptions and scrambles our thinking. It makes us believe that those around us care much less than they actually do. It makes us really afraid to reach out; why set yourself up for rejection and heartache, when your heart is already aching more than you can stand” ….
“LONELINESS is defined purely subjectively; it depends solely on whether you feel emotionally or socially disconnected from those around you.”
Among the best TEDx Talks I've encountered. Simple, elegant, poignant.
A simple LIKE is just NOT enough. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for delivering a wonderful speech!
I have some real emotional hygiene to take care of Guy Winch. This video made me realize that. And so many others need the same. Thank you so much. Awesome.
You are a real doctor!
One of the best Ted talks I've ever watched.
Thanks for the knowledge.
Thanks Guy this has changed and improved my life. I needed than more than I ever knew. I want to share it with Everyone. Thanks REAL Doctor!
Thanks, Randy--I'm very grateful for your support!
I forwarded this to my family as a Christmas present.
I’ll rewatch it myself.
Emotional hygiene, and mental alertness
should be included in basic education, one community and seven,billion people United. Thanks Doctor.
I agree!!!
Our minds and feelings are not trustworthy friends. They are more like moody friends, who can be totally supportive one minute and extremely unpleasant the other moment.
This one will go on my list of favorite TEDx talks
Thank you so much!
What is actually really sad is when people around you try to convince you that you've failed when you're convinced that you've not.
that's what I'm living now.. people around me are so toxic.. my own family but I know I didn't failed
I still have a long life to live
@@jackier.3246 All of us sailing in similar boats man. Hold on :)
plane to the brain es, yes that is a good point. ever see a toddler fall and when he thinks no one is watching, gets up immediately and walks away? but let mom over react and the toddler sits there and begins to cry. other people's interpretation of our situation and our response can be VERY powerful and insidious. personally, i learned to keep certain events to myself so that I could decide how to interpret them and respond accordingly.
Plane To The Brain ES or when those people try to convince you that something is wrong with failure.
💆🏾♀️💎❤️✨By far the statement of the millennium ✨❤️💎💆🏾♀️
Wow! I really needed to hear this. I suffer with really terrible emotional hygiene due to my childhood. Im a chronic ruminator. I'm so glad I trusted my instinct and click on your video and listen to what you had to say. May this day be the first step into practicing healthy emotional hygiene. Thank you so much!
Guy, this was a great talk. The key takeaway I got was "A different kind of favoritism - how much more we value the body than we do the mind."
That is true, I have seen physically fit, almost physically perfect athletes walk around with emotional infections, gaping holes in their souls almost... probably due to this lack of emotional hygiene you discuss. I myself have favored the physical, almost completely neglecting the emotional. Your work will shed awareness on this important topic.
Who cares about anti-aging and extending the length of our lives, if we're miserable?!?!
Very enlightening and encouraging. As a mother, I witness children being told "what not to do", instead of "what to do" when it comes to emotions and social interaction simply because we adults may not understand what to do ourselves. This presentation has convinced me to invest in teaching myself and my family about emotional hygiene. I like the practical facts on how to make changes for the better.
You've pinned down the root of emotional and psychological issues in this short talk and I thank you.
What a brilliant talk ! Now, unless someone tells you about such ideas, you will never figure this out ! Why is this not part of a basic education, begining in pre-school, or kindergarten?
Thank you. I struggle daily with emotional issues that have dogged me for what feels my entire life. I found myself focus in on the sound of your calm voice and felt your words reach inside my muddled head and in some small way, something has shifted. I hope this is the beginning of something life changing. I will keep hold of these new feelings and see where they take me.
I've listened to an enormous number of TED Talk presentations and this has been the most affective and outstanding one.
The content, the stories, the clarity, the purpose were all sharp as a blade.
His humour in his stories and how he delivered his humour... I would pay for it.
Guy Winch, if you read this I want you to know. YOU ARE EV'ER'RI'THIN'K!! 😊
Perfect balance on all fronts, plus a love that only few possess naturally.
This is what ted talks want to be like when they grow up
Who else judged this video by its title and then ended up really appreciating it afterwards?
This lack of attention to our psychological well being has to be the reason so many people suffer from mental illness and addiction. I have PTSD, clinical depression and anxiety. I am a recovering addict as well. I have a masters in mental health counseling (definitely not a doctor, lol). I have been a victim of many types of abuse in the past and I did some EMDR for my PTSD (Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing) it helped drastically with my PTSD, but I would t say I'm "back to normal". I still can't be woken up in certain ways without going into "fight or flight". My emotional struggles have never been fewer like as physical problem would be, however they have kept me from normally functioning for a deep depressive and addiction episode for about 3 years. I had lost hope. The lies in my mind had taken over. Now I am rebuilding my life. Actively involved in AA and NA and I will get licensed to start my career as a therapist when I have enough sober time and I am emotionally healthy enough. It's okay though, because I am on the way back up!! The battle of my mind has been the most difficult struggle of my life. Thanks for the video!!! 😊
Jenni Smeltzer it. Certainly can jenni I've been battling for about 16 months now after an accident , and every day is a struggle, a struggle with destiny, you do need to find time to take stock of the things you can control.and almost centre your beliefs around that, all things have to have a core purpose
Hey, I know it's been 2 years, but I really hope you went through with it and that you're in an even better shape ❤️
Check out theophostic healing. It changes lives. :)
Good Job!
Important points that he brought up::
* Emotional awareness.
* Loneliness won't just make you miserable, it will kill you. Chronic loneliness increases likelihood of early death by 14%.
* Loneliness = subjective, how well you feel emotionally or socially connected from those around you.
* Loneliness distorts your perception. Failure as well.
* Break bad psychological habits. Interrupt negative pattern, e.g. circular thinking, obsession, rumination.... Take action. Shift your behavior. Do something.
* You can't believe you can't succeed. You must fight the feeling of helplessness.
I've been watching Ted talks for years but this is truly the most powerful talk so far. It just pointed out my problem, I was always reluctant to reach out due to the apprehension of rejection, constantly unstable propensity to trust to people around. I must change these. thank you so much for you talk!
This is SO good. This man's speaking voice is incredible. He would be great to listen to reading audio books--soothing, yet engaging. The information and points he makes are so important. Will be sharing this widely.
"Emotional mastery is your greatest achievement." - Dr. Joe Dispenza
YES!! ABSOLUTELY TRUE.
There isn't a Band-Aid to fix small failures or even big ones, and the psychological effect that come with them. Its quite expensive to treat ur psychological hygiene (which shouldn't be the case) because everyone needs help. If u have emotional health issues u are already stained in America. They should teach emotional health in schools and everywhere honestly. I loved this speech 😍
Should start at home from year 1 onward. Parents need to teach this to their kids. And the best and possibly unique way is by modelling it. So to start with, parents need to know why and how to do it, and become good at practicing it.
Dr. Winch, congratulations on your brother's health. I almost lost a brother I am very close, too and his survival was the best gift I have received in life so far.
Guy Winch
So damn true!! Your talk was inspirational and eve opening! I used to do this all the time! I was very depressed. But when I wanted to ruminate, I would immediately start playing games or play some music or watch a movie! It helped me a lot. Battling negative thoughts is an important aspect of human lives. It not only controls your bad thoughts, it can improve your outlook as well. I always used to tell my friends that psychological health is more important than physical health! Now I've found someone who reinforces my idea!
Thanks so much!
+Guy Winch Thank you for your speach...
+Guy Winch can u help me? how can I get in touch with you?
+Guy Winch Thank you! This means a lot to me
EQ is as important as IQ and even more so.
Dear Guy. Your voice is so healing. Thank you
WOW! I want more. Okay, forget the fact he's eloquent and good looking and sparse of words therefore each and every word packs a punch, it's basic, even scriptural, and so true. Thank you Mr. Winch! I'm sharing on my FB and subscribing.
This video helped me. I'm passing through all this, a few minutes ago I was so frustrated without the desire to live anymore and I saw this video in the recommendations. Just what I needed, thank you
Thank you so much to Dr. Winch for this powerful talk. I have been out of work for some time and am struggling with getting back up to look for work again after each rejection. I am sharing it with several struggling friends and maybe we can all help each other. THANK YOU again!
Thanks so much for your generous feedback and support--and for sharing with others--as I do hope people can benefit from the talk.
Best wishes!
if we all imagined the things we say to ourselves as someone else saying that to a loved one/good friend, we would be apalled.
loved this talk!
Woke up this morning feeling down. This is exactly what I needed was a reminder to mind my thoughts.
In a world in flux and turmoil and so much emotional pain and suffering there is a need for his message of internal reflection and redirection of ones energy in thoughts of uplifting instead of self punishing. Great message, thank you.
Gold Medal! Of all the TedTalks if enjoyed (and I've enjoyed many), this is The Best!
Critical topic, given the attention and treatment that it requires ... Finally!
How fortunate that these twins felt such union. How blessed are they and what a wonderful example.
Very interesting.
So true.
I am so happy with myself because I have already been practicing what you say.
I am 100 per cent happy on my own.
My interests are to dress nice most times and keep planning more holidays.
So therapeutic.
The loneliest I have ever felt was when I was in a relationship.
Thank you.
Oh, my dear Mr Winch. What certain truth you speak. I wish there was a deeper/better expression than just thankyou, for your learning, your wisdom, your effort and your sharing. I was a primary school teacher in Australia in the years 1986 -1995, I had many children in my class with sad, difficult and often very damaging problems. Obviously, they frequently also had serious behaviour issues and problems expressing their emotions appropriately. Quite often, when I could see it was needed, I left my normal lesson plan and took the 'deviation' to talk about feelings, stirred the empathy that they could develop for each other, reassured them that their emotions were to be felt, that they could talk about problems etc and many other things. I started a group for children who felt isolated, or whose parents were divorcing, or who were grieving for somebody. I was amazed at how much those children responded. Their behaviour calmed, their achievements increased and I don't value the academic more than the personal achievments here, like being brave enough to speak up for yourself or another person. To admit to feeling fear, sadness, loneliness, anger etc. I was always a very popular teacher with students and parents, but of course not with those in higher authority, (the school principle) some colleagues etc, maybe they were afraid or jealous of my popularity or abilities with difficult children. Now, in my mid-fifties and living with my husband and younger son in Germany, I feel lonely, extremely unconfident, lost, unvalued and seriously isolated. I agree with all you have said. Hearing you has reminded me that I can change, begin afresh, learn, reach out and try again to be myself. Thankyou for being an inspiration, I really need one!
An amazing speaker! Great topic! I need to watch this more than once
same! came back to it after a while and it's like rediscovering some of the ideas. I need to Actively practice and learn more about this
I've watched plenty of TedX talks, this is up there as one of the best, probably THE best on mental well being.
I am so thankful for this talk! I feel that I learned a lot of this on my own and from mentors, but it is not talked about enough! Failure and lowered self-esteem kills success. It's so disappointing to see so many people give up on their dreams because of their fear of failure. Thanks for the 2 minute distraction tip. Guy- you are a captivating public speaker.
Excellent! be the change! I've started a healing journey about 3 years ago after a break up, and I'm grateful for it because I'm learning how to truly love and care for myself emotionally and otherwise. I'm growing in a way I couldn't before, though I was devastated. I'm constantly challenging my beliefs and my thinking. It's amazing what I've discovered. I share this with people as often as I can. It's worth the work. It's worth more than gold.
Awareness is key
He’s great - could listen all day.
Thank you Guy. Everything you spoke of is very true. When my thoughts are negative or confused, I have to fight really hard to do one thing all the way through... even if it is washing a coffee cup. I will wash it, dry it, and put it away. That is one positive thing I have done all the way through. This almost always will lead me to do one more positive thing... and so on. Fighting negative thinking IS a battle... and you are correct to suggest that one should fight it by a positive action... no matter how small... because, at least for me, that will lead to another healthy thought or action.
Listening for second time in 2019. Thank you, Guy Winch for reminding me of a time I knew this well, but then forgot.
no more speech skills but quite touching sharing. cannot hold crying in my eyes when he said why do i reach out call. Small creatures like us are so weak for letting others know we are hurting deeply inside.But we can do better now since there are friends like this.
A great TED and I learned so much in such a little time. And I am very happy his brother is OK and could recover from this illness. Thank you for sharing this wise words.
One the very best TED talks I've listened to. I recognized and identified myself in every single point and it gave the determination to clean my mental clutter and focus greatly on my mental hygiene! Thanks very much mister Winch!
Going in my favorites. So grateful I found this speaker and this talk. So down to earth and compassionate.
So very well said! Emotional hygiene - great name too. This is an all too common feature of my coaching practice. It is scary how often you see people, in my work, especially leaders and managers, caught up in what looks like performance or behavioural issues with themselves or others and trying to "fix" them, when they feel so isolated, lonely and separated from everyone else, sometimes in the most intense emotional pain. It's no wonder performance suffers, they're stressed and can't seem to break the cycle. People are amazing, I am so privileged to be able to work with them! Again - a brilliant presentation!! Thank you,
Best Ted Talk I have ever seen! Thank you, DOCTOR Winch!
Guy Winch is amazing. I am so grateful I came across this talk. I immediately bought his book and I constantly go back to it. When I feel like I need comfort, I pull up one of Guy's talks. I always recommend his work to people and they always love him! He's a great speaker with a great message.
One of the best TED TALK thus far I have watched.
It's so comforting to long entertaining negative thoughts in one's mind. I had suffered more than once and paid a heavy price for it. I even had to lose my job. These days I slowly recover from such a habit, thanks to motivational speakers!
I like listening to TED Talks while reading the comments because I can learn so much more with your thoughts too as much as listening to the video itself
Profoundly amazing. This has got to be the most important talk since ancient philosophy. This man may very well be the father of future humanity!! Can you imagine what would happen if this was taught to one generation of children?!?!?!? Oh. My. Sweet. Divine!!!!
Ted Talks are the most inspiring , uplifting , and encouraging messages from awesome speakers thinkers and survivers THANKYOU
As a member of an anonymous program, having worked the 12 steps and following the suggestions of the program...it’s almost the exact same thing Guy is talking about. I mean you can get the same positive results. We call it isolation instead of loneliness. We say internal unmanageability for believing untrue things about ourselves.
It’s too much to explain here, but if you need extra help with the suggestions Guy has offered. I promise a 12 step program, worked to the best of you ability will fix you!
Best TedTalk EVER. Great narrative, timing, and content.
I was coaching a client yesterday and remembered your Ted Talk. I sent the client a link. He was going over things and imagining the worst in every situation. I hope he benefits from this as I have. My family has all enjoyed and benefited from the talk.
Thank you for sharing this. It's a interesting way to look at emotional health. I battle loneliness and rejection and because of it my life has been altered in many negative ways.
Thanks for your feedback!
Best wishes!
GW
So needed this talk. Thank you! I’ve been stuck in a rut for about a month with panic attacks and fear that is causing immobility of the mind.
Goin through a difficult time, this speech was delivered with feeling and i loved it...
This excellent talk should be considered to be expanded as a basic subject from elementary to college. It would change the world.
This was great! a lot of times you do just beat up yourself and i think this talk is mostly addressing those cases. for me however, i went through a period of depression but i think it was good my mind responded that way. i was spoiled, self centered, and lazy. i think that depression helped to make a major change in the way i am. i knew what i wanted to be but i didnt have the motivation, until i felt miserable and i had to climb out of that. (obviously there are bigger problems out there). I think being overly negative over nothing is bad but a lot of our emotional responses are good and our actions are what need to change. (like sometimes i would emotionally beat myself up but i deserved it because for me to be happy with myself i needed to change for the better)
At first, I listened to this while reading the responses, how could some one cry? After a while, I cannot do nothing but crying when I heard this dating woman story! We are are her, at different times! Thanks, dr, your talk is amazing! I did ruminate (thanks for letting me know this term), because of the hurt I have before. To forgive others, to forgive myself, to taken action when feeling helpless!
This is just what I needed! I listened to this about 4-5 times tonight after having a rough evening. Thank you!
This is one of the most helpful, interesting and valuable talks I have seen. Thank you for real examples, stories, and clear, straight forward techniques to use. How refreshing to listen to someone who is wanting and willing to actually help people. I am accustomed to watching people "look good & sound good" without usable techniques. To top it off, the love you have for your brother is so palpable, and that connected me to you and what you had to say. I lost my sister 3 years in a scuba diving accident. She was a truth teller and very important and dear to me. The world and life looks different to me since then. I have always been a seeker of love and happiness. Now I have to work harder at it. I am lucky, because when I get quiet and ask, she is right here. And she is even wiser now -- and available when I need her. I listened to your speech at a good time as my missing her and loneliness was getting my energy. What a beautiful reminder to move away from rumination and shift focus. I recognize that we need to keep a daily practice to make a habit of choosing positive thoughts about ourselves and the world around us. I am grateful. Thank you.
I remember a time way back in high school when my drama teacher had the class write critiques of each student's performance in some kind of soliloquy with blocking we had to do. I performed poorly and I knew it. I wasn't at all prepared, I may even have smoked pot before class, to boot. At the end of my terrible performance I was handed a stack of notes. I opened one - it was scathing. I decided to throw the rest in the trash and save myself the emotional pain. I was only 15. I have no idea where that kind of emotional strength came from.
I found this lecture while trying to escape or understand the guilt my mother places on me. It makes so much sense to gain control of my thoughts and feelings. My son has recently enrolled in psychology courses. I can't wait to have him listen to TEDx.
I hope he enjoys his psych classes--and my talk :)
Such a powerful talk. Loving it!
He's like a mix between Roger from 101 Dalmations and David Attenborough. So sincere and gentle, so clear and articulate. Lovely speech :)
A stunning, eye and mind opening talk. I never realized how deep is our need for mental self-help until I've been exposed to this talk, and subsequently bought the book and read it passionately. Thank you Dr. Winch and lots of success in spreading the word. Danny
Thanks, Dan!
One of the best TED Talks I've ever seen. Thank you so much, Guy Winch, a TRUE doctor of psyche :)
This should be a weekly class from standard 5th in Indian schools till 12th.
The world you are describing, is exactly the world I want to live in the rest of my life . I have been saying for more than 30 years that we all belong in this world, but it was obviously just a nice idea. Now (in the age of 74) I feel at last that EVEN I BELONG IN THE WORLD WITH ALL THE OTHERS. Now I will use the rest of my time to help other people understand and feel the same way. I thank you for the video and wish all of us A HAPPY 2020! Just reading through the text before pushing COMMENT, I look out the window and see a beautiful cloud in all the colours of the rainbow. If I knew how, I would have finished here with a SMILEY.
we were thought to think about ourselves the way we do. If what you were taught, does not serve you anymore:
1. find teachers that will reflect what you secretly know about yourself
2. let go of your old teachers even if they guilt trip you or you guilt trip yourself (we are not indispensable)
3. allow yourself to grief the loss (as long as you need not matter what)
4. forgive yourself for having been the perpetrator of your relationships, your thoughts and your believes
5. write, and I mean write literally, yourself in to who you wish to be and take daily micro action in that direction.
6 and of course, with fellowship, prayer and meditation.
It's the practice of shifting consciousness. Circumstances don't matter, our perception of ourselves does.
And how do we know if what we were taught doesn't serve us anymore, if our sense of self depends only on our perceptions? Isn't it magical thinking? It's like as if the perception of ourselves can only change after the consciousness shift. Cause and effect are hard to replace in this context, though. Like you can change because you have already changed inside, you were just not still conscious of that.
I had/have a Problem with a specific thought about living in a Simulation that made me feel extremely lonely and sad. This thesis isnt true or false, and therefore not verified. But the possibility that it is real made me think that everything is fake and I slowly began to derealize. Ruminating about this scenario and the emotions towards my Family and others which would be fake in this case, let me burst into tears a lot of times. But this video gave me so much motivation to just believe and fight for myself. I thank you so much
Wise words!!! Thank you for patiently explaining the significance of emotional hygiene.
The applause was not sufficient for that, what an astounding man and an amazingly important talk.
Meditation is actual cure for this. There are tons of studies showing numerous benefits. Try this:
1. Sit comfortably with your back straight
2. close your eyes and focus on your breathing (try to slow it down a little bit)
3. every time you see some thought come up (or you even get caught up in it without realizing) just say "thought" and get back to your breathing. Don't try to suppress your thoughts, just let them run in the background
Do this every day for 5 minutes (set a timer) and over time gradually increase to 30. You will start to see some results after month.
Viktor,
Unfortunately most folks love the intellectual exercise of the content of this talk. Emotional hygiene - a catchy phrase that surprise listeners.
What you share... totally agree. Forget visiting psychologists n psychiatrists... they are robbers.
The solution is always what lies hidden between our both ears - the discriminating mind.
Thanks you for the tips.
I do meditation in motion - practicing my taichi routine every morning.
Thank you for the suggestion. I have known about the benefits of meditation for years. Many of my friends do it regularly and tell me how much they benefit from it, and yet I can't seem to get myself to do it on a regular basis. It's like I have some sort of aversion to it. A voice inside says that it's a waste of time, it won't work, and I should be doing something else. Sigh.
im happy that he spoke about something like this...i myself was facing these negative things in life..nothing was going good n everything was a mess...but i recovered from it...its only us who can actually pull ourself from bad times..we should reject those negativities from our life n just throw them in the dustbin..
"It's time to close the gap between our physical and psychological health" So true. Modern culture definitely needs to close this gap.
Loved it. Thanks for sharing your knowledge with all. Personally, I practice 6 dimensions of health. I call them the circle of health - Physical, mental, emotional, spiritual,social and financial health. Each of these areas play a dynamic roles depending on ones needs at any given time of one's life
Absolutely life changing. I really needed to hear this!!
Probably the most practical , powerful and positive ted talks I have ever heard. Excellent job! I loved it!
Please, please, please teach this in (Western?) schools.
Are you a teacher?
A parent of boys....so, yes.
May I ask why you are making this plea?
I definitely agree
I'm 16 and agree, this is so crucial to development yet people grow up understanding none of it, instead how to use differentiation to work out the cross section of a tunnel and whether a truck can fit through it. Lovely stuff.
This video is 9 years ago posted..but believe me this is the best teaching for emotional well-being... Thank you Sir.❤ Thank you TED.
One of the best, if not actually the very best Ted(x) Talk I've seen. Thank you Mr. Winch. I will look into, and possibly devour, the literature you have produced.
+Pythonesque That's DR. Winch!
B in B Excuse my foreignly learned ways of dealing with honorifics - "Mr." was already a synthetic step to that. :)
+Pythonesque Just joking anyway... :)
B in B I know, but it carried a slightly useful customary learning point, aside contextual irony
Pythonesque
"..... Our quality of life will raise drastically if we all began to practice emotional hygiene...if people knew how to overcome failure...that's the world we can live in......"
Thank you!