How to practice emotional hygiene | Guy Winch | TEDxLinnaeusUniversity
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- Опубликовано: 9 май 2024
- This talk was given at a local TEDx event, produced independently of the TED Conferences. We have medicine cabinets for common physical injuries like cuts and colds but no toolkits for common psychological injuries such as failure, rejection, guilt, and loss. In his inspirational talk, Guy Winch tells us that “you can’t treat a psychological wound if you don’t know you’re injured”. Guy teaches us a lesson on why it is so important to practice emotional hygiene.
Guy Winch Ph.D. is a psychologist, speaker, and author whose books have been translated into 15 languages. His most recent book, Emotional First Aid: Practical Strategies for Treating Failure, Rejection, Guilt, and Other Everyday Psychological Injuries (Hudson Street Press, 2013) examines the surprising ways in which seven common psychological injuries (Rejection, Loneliness, Loss, Guilt, Rumination, Failure, and bouts of Low Self-Esteem) impact our behavior, emotions, cognitive functioning, and physical health, and provides science-based treatments to heal the wounds they inflict.
In both his writing and his talks, Dr. Winch aims to bridge the gap between the science of psychology and its practice in the real world. He is passionate about translating current scientific findings into practical applications people can use to better their psychological health and their relationships. Dr. Winch is a member of the American Psychological Association. He lives and practices in New York City.
About TEDx, x = independently organized event In the spirit of ideas worth spreading, TEDx is a program of local, self-organized events that bring people together to share a TED-like experience. At a TEDx event, TEDTalks video and live speakers combine to spark deep discussion and connection in a small group. These local, self-organized events are branded TEDx, where x = independently organized TED event. The TED Conference provides general guidance for the TEDx program, but individual TEDx events are self-organized.* (*Subject to certain rules and regulations)
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So remember:
1. Take action when you're lonely
2. Change your responses to failure
3. Protect your self esteem
4. Stop ruminating
5. Battle negative thinking
Now actually practice this, don't just binge watch another 20 self help videos :)
That's me, watching hours of self development vids and putting none of it into practice
Thank you for point list. It's a good mantra! LOL
@@AIbetacodev17gdx666
This is normal for your brain to be filled enugh... practice will come afterwards naturally.
@@AIbetacodev17gdx666 actually you are planting seeds....a seemingly small action can blossom and lead to some unimaginable, amazing outcome later.
"Studies tell us that even a 2 minute distraction is enough to break the urge to ruminate inthat moment. So I knew what to do... Within one week my whole outlook changed and became more positive and more hopeful."
I just lost my job and was so depressed I couldn't get out of bed. I just laid there and sobbed for days. I found this and it hit home. I cried through the whole video. I was so grateful that he posted this. I got out of bed and got dressed. I still am sad, but I am actively looking for another job, actually got an interview too. This video made a great difference in my life, and am glad it was created and uploaded.
I hope you are doing well
hey lisa..how's life now? i am feel u..and it just happened to me..this video was so helpfull..
Hugs. I feel u dear. I lost my job a year ago and I was so helpless and demotivated. But life goes on. I took time to digest everything and decided one day to keep things aside and start again. I did small food catering with my remaining savings and thank god, things started to change slowly. I managed to get what I needed eventho it's not that much but it helps. I hope u will find something that can at least get u going. Don't give up 💓
How are you now? I hope that you are healed and found a better job
Genuine help for people who tend to do negative self-talk. This book makes you understand what factors are important for your own happiness and what you can get rid of in order to be emotionally strong. I read it over and over so that I can apply what the book teaches to my everyday life. I also got this sense that I’m communicating with the author through the author’s personal experiences. It’s definitely worth a purchase.
this guy has a great voice and tone. I happened to listen to this talk without looking at it. this guy should do bedtime stories or something. I mean that sounds silly but it would just make me feel so much better before going to sleep. bedtime lectures about emotional health and hygiene.
I agree
Yes I just did myself! I also like to listen to meditations or just meditate on my own!
+greimalkin Haha..It bored you n you listened to it.. ??!!! What does it say about YOU ..?
I just had a similar thought and posted a comment before seeing yours.
Yeah, it reminds of when Ringo Starr narrated the Thomas the Tank Engine stories.
I am retired and live alone. I'm never lonely. I lost my driver's license due to failing eyesight so I can no longer flit over to a friend's house. My son is attentive and generous to me. He solved the problem of my getting to the grocery store (or anywhere) with Uber -- which he pays for! He takes me to our favorite Chinese restaurant for lunch, and once in a while to a fine restaurant for dinner. I keep in touch with friends and relatives who live in other states with emails and phone calls. It's all good! Living alone means I can eat what I want when I want. I can stay up until the wee hours watching a great old movie or reading a good book
More power to you
Yes. There is much difference in Loneliness and Living alone. I am also bound at home due to my illness, but I enjoy this staying alone, of course my family is there, but I enjoy my reading, emroidary , ect. and connect relatives and freinds virtually,etc. Of course my daughter takes utmost care about my medicines and essentials.
Thank you so much for sharing your story , I learn a lot from you
@@mendgudlisdaughter1871 Agreed, Solitude is its name. When one relaxes from the constant influx of the world.
This is the best 17 minutes I've spent in a long, long time. Thank you, Dr. Winch, for greatly improving my day. Four stars. Must see.
You still won't give it 5 stars? Your level of perfectionism is unhealthy.
Maybe his scale is 1-4.
@@Mudskipper_is_me the best comment in came across today 😂🤣
I’ve just watched it (6 years after you!) and I agree, it’s been 17 minutes very well spent. I’d be interested to know if you have benefited from the video since you watched it.
@@Shybairnsgetnowt1 and you?
I cannot express with a "like" how wonderful and insightful this talk is. Thanks Guy!!
+Jesse Taylor I A terrific communicator. Pacing his sentences well and using humor additionally.
Thanks Bodyknowledge 77!
What a Guy
Our minds and feelings are not trustworthy friends. They are more like moody friends, who can be totally supportive one minute and extremely unpleasant the other moment.
“LONELIENESS: Creates a deep physiological wound, one which distorts our perceptions and scrambles our thinking. It makes us believe that those around us care much less than they actually do. It makes us really afraid to reach out; why set yourself up for rejection and heartache, when your heart is already aching more than you can stand” ….
“LONELIENESS is defined purely subjectively; it depends solely at whether you feel emotionally or socially disconnected from those around you.”
WOW, WOW, WOW!!!! THIS has been the missing link is my journey!!!!! Knowledge is VERY powerful!
I have seen so many of the Talks and this is by far one of the best ones I have listen too. Thank you for this I really appreciate it.
Agreed.
Oh man, thanks for saving me the urge to listen to more Ted Talks. I found this to be extremely elementary and obvious.
Who else judged this video by its title and then ended up really appreciating it afterwards?
I am a self-help/metaphysics junkie, and I never heard it put quite this way. Really insightful and eye-opening. Thank you so much.
+Jamie Sung I agree!
+Jamie Sung Self-help/metaphysics junkie ahhahahaa.....nice:)
+Jamie Sung me too i love ted talks. this one was particularly great
+Jamie Sung It's cheaper than therapy!... probably more effective too
It's not more effective....I've watched about 200 ted talks this year, and it hasn't helped as much as therapy has. Rebt is fuckin awesome!:)
This is what ted talks want to be like when they grow up
This one will go on my list of favorite TEDx talks
Thank you so much!
What is actually really sad is when people around you try to convince you that you've failed when you're convinced that you've not.
that's what I'm living now.. people around me are so toxic.. my own family but I know I didn't failed
I still have a long life to live
@@jackier.3246 All of us sailing in similar boats man. Hold on :)
plane to the brain es, yes that is a good point. ever see a toddler fall and when he thinks no one is watching, gets up immediately and walks away? but let mom over react and the toddler sits there and begins to cry. other people's interpretation of our situation and our response can be VERY powerful and insidious. personally, i learned to keep certain events to myself so that I could decide how to interpret them and respond accordingly.
Plane To The Brain ES or when those people try to convince you that something is wrong with failure.
💆🏾♀️💎❤️✨By far the statement of the millennium ✨❤️💎💆🏾♀️
"Emotional mastery is your greatest achievement." - Dr. Joe Dispenza
YES!! ABSOLUTELY TRUE.
A simple LIKE is just NOT enough. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for delivering a wonderful speech!
I forwarded this to my family as a Christmas present.
I’ll rewatch it myself.
Thanks Guy this has changed and improved my life. I needed than more than I ever knew. I want to share it with Everyone. Thanks REAL Doctor!
Thanks, Randy--I'm very grateful for your support!
Among the best TEDx Talks I've encountered. Simple, elegant, poignant.
There isn't a Band-Aid to fix small failures or even big ones, and the psychological effect that come with them. Its quite expensive to treat ur psychological hygiene (which shouldn't be the case) because everyone needs help. If u have emotional health issues u are already stained in America. They should teach emotional health in schools and everywhere honestly. I loved this speech 😍
Should start at home from year 1 onward. Parents need to teach this to their kids. And the best and possibly unique way is by modelling it. So to start with, parents need to know why and how to do it, and become good at practicing it.
You are a real doctor!
One of the best Ted talks I've ever watched.
Thanks for the knowledge.
This lack of attention to our psychological well being has to be the reason so many people suffer from mental illness and addiction. I have PTSD, clinical depression and anxiety. I am a recovering addict as well. I have a masters in mental health counseling (definitely not a doctor, lol). I have been a victim of many types of abuse in the past and I did some EMDR for my PTSD (Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing) it helped drastically with my PTSD, but I would t say I'm "back to normal". I still can't be woken up in certain ways without going into "fight or flight". My emotional struggles have never been fewer like as physical problem would be, however they have kept me from normally functioning for a deep depressive and addiction episode for about 3 years. I had lost hope. The lies in my mind had taken over. Now I am rebuilding my life. Actively involved in AA and NA and I will get licensed to start my career as a therapist when I have enough sober time and I am emotionally healthy enough. It's okay though, because I am on the way back up!! The battle of my mind has been the most difficult struggle of my life. Thanks for the video!!! 😊
Jenni Smeltzer it. Certainly can jenni I've been battling for about 16 months now after an accident , and every day is a struggle, a struggle with destiny, you do need to find time to take stock of the things you can control.and almost centre your beliefs around that, all things have to have a core purpose
Hey, I know it's been 2 years, but I really hope you went through with it and that you're in an even better shape ❤️
Check out theophostic healing. It changes lives. :)
Good Job!
Emotional hygiene, and mental alertness
should be included in basic education, one community and seven,billion people United. Thanks Doctor.
I agree!!!
I've listened to an enormous number of TED Talk presentations and this has been the most affective and outstanding one.
The content, the stories, the clarity, the purpose were all sharp as a blade.
His humour in his stories and how he delivered his humour... I would pay for it.
Guy Winch, if you read this I want you to know. YOU ARE EV'ER'RI'THIN'K!! 😊
Perfect balance on all fronts, plus a love that only few possess naturally.
What a brilliant talk ! Now, unless someone tells you about such ideas, you will never figure this out ! Why is this not part of a basic education, begining in pre-school, or kindergarten?
I have some real emotional hygiene to take care of Guy Winch. This video made me realize that. And so many others need the same. Thank you so much. Awesome.
Guy, this was a great talk. The key takeaway I got was "A different kind of favoritism - how much more we value the body than we do the mind."
That is true, I have seen physically fit, almost physically perfect athletes walk around with emotional infections, gaping holes in their souls almost... probably due to this lack of emotional hygiene you discuss. I myself have favored the physical, almost completely neglecting the emotional. Your work will shed awareness on this important topic.
Who cares about anti-aging and extending the length of our lives, if we're miserable?!?!
I've watched plenty of TedX talks, this is up there as one of the best, probably THE best on mental well being.
Very enlightening and encouraging. As a mother, I witness children being told "what not to do", instead of "what to do" when it comes to emotions and social interaction simply because we adults may not understand what to do ourselves. This presentation has convinced me to invest in teaching myself and my family about emotional hygiene. I like the practical facts on how to make changes for the better.
I remember a time way back in high school when my drama teacher had the class write critiques of each student's performance in some kind of soliloquy with blocking we had to do. I performed poorly and I knew it. I wasn't at all prepared, I may even have smoked pot before class, to boot. At the end of my terrible performance I was handed a stack of notes. I opened one - it was scathing. I decided to throw the rest in the trash and save myself the emotional pain. I was only 15. I have no idea where that kind of emotional strength came from.
Important points that he brought up::
* Emotional awareness.
* Loneliness won't just make you miserable, it will kill you. Chronic loneliness increases likelihood of early death by 14%.
* Loneliness = subjective, how well you feel emotionally or socially connected from those around you.
* Loneliness distorts your perception. Failure as well.
* Break bad psychological habits. Interrupt negative pattern, e.g. circular thinking, obsession, rumination.... Take action. Shift your behavior. Do something.
* You can't believe you can't succeed. You must fight the feeling of helplessness.
Wow! I really needed to hear this. I suffer with really terrible emotional hygiene due to my childhood. Im a chronic ruminator. I'm so glad I trusted my instinct and click on your video and listen to what you had to say. May this day be the first step into practicing healthy emotional hygiene. Thank you so much!
we were thought to think about ourselves the way we do. If what you were taught, does not serve you anymore:
1. find teachers that will reflect what you secretly know about yourself
2. let go of your old teachers even if they guilt trip you or you guilt trip yourself (we are not indispensable)
3. allow yourself to grief the loss (as long as you need not matter what)
4. forgive yourself for having been the perpetrator of your relationships, your thoughts and your believes
5. write, and I mean write literally, yourself in to who you wish to be and take daily micro action in that direction.
6 and of course, with fellowship, prayer and meditation.
It's the practice of shifting consciousness. Circumstances don't matter, our perception of ourselves does.
And how do we know if what we were taught doesn't serve us anymore, if our sense of self depends only on our perceptions? Isn't it magical thinking? It's like as if the perception of ourselves can only change after the consciousness shift. Cause and effect are hard to replace in this context, though. Like you can change because you have already changed inside, you were just not still conscious of that.
An amazing speaker! Great topic! I need to watch this more than once
same! came back to it after a while and it's like rediscovering some of the ideas. I need to Actively practice and learn more about this
He’s great - could listen all day.
This is a nice TED talk, but I feel it should be named "Why to practice emotional hygiene" and then maybe make another video with usefull tips!
Brouwera ikr
+Brouwera Just "force yourself to think about something else" bro.
+poleag That sadly is not enough by far.
It's like the age old, don't think of a pink elephant, really concentrate hard on not thinking about a pink elephant,
What are you thinking about?
A pink elephant.
Science has proven that the same is true with avoiding negative thoughts.
When you really concentrate on not thinking about negative stuff, you'll end up focusing on negative stuff.
What the solution then is, I'm not so sure yet, but I'm hoping that "59 seconds: Think a little Change a lot" will give me the answers, cause emotionally, at this point I look like I've been trekking through pitch, 10 feet deep.
+Brouwera yeah that would be helpful
The guy in the video didn't say 'force yourself to think positively', or 'concentrate on not thinking negative thoughts', he said to distract yourself for two minutes. When you notice those negative thoughts read a book or a newspaper, pick up an instrument, draw a picture, do anything that requires you to focus on only that thing for at least two minutes.
You've pinned down the root of emotional and psychological issues in this short talk and I thank you.
Please, please, please teach this in (Western?) schools.
Are you a teacher?
A parent of boys....so, yes.
May I ask why you are making this plea?
I definitely agree
I'm 16 and agree, this is so crucial to development yet people grow up understanding none of it, instead how to use differentiation to work out the cross section of a tunnel and whether a truck can fit through it. Lovely stuff.
The policeman story had me giggling for a while :D
Glad you liked it!
Guy Winch please make more videos on RUclips you are a very talented doctor and speaker would love to learn more from you.
Sir, this might have just changed my life
This should be a weekly class from standard 5th in Indian schools till 12th.
This is SO good. This man's speaking voice is incredible. He would be great to listen to reading audio books--soothing, yet engaging. The information and points he makes are so important. Will be sharing this widely.
As a member of an anonymous program, having worked the 12 steps and following the suggestions of the program...it’s almost the exact same thing Guy is talking about. I mean you can get the same positive results. We call it isolation instead of loneliness. We say internal unmanageability for believing untrue things about ourselves.
It’s too much to explain here, but if you need extra help with the suggestions Guy has offered. I promise a 12 step program, worked to the best of you ability will fix you!
Such a powerful talk. Loving it!
Dear Guy. Your voice is so healing. Thank you
Gold Medal! Of all the TedTalks if enjoyed (and I've enjoyed many), this is The Best!
Critical topic, given the attention and treatment that it requires ... Finally!
Guy Winch
So damn true!! Your talk was inspirational and eve opening! I used to do this all the time! I was very depressed. But when I wanted to ruminate, I would immediately start playing games or play some music or watch a movie! It helped me a lot. Battling negative thoughts is an important aspect of human lives. It not only controls your bad thoughts, it can improve your outlook as well. I always used to tell my friends that psychological health is more important than physical health! Now I've found someone who reinforces my idea!
Thanks so much!
+Guy Winch Thank you for your speach...
+Guy Winch can u help me? how can I get in touch with you?
+Guy Winch Thank you! This means a lot to me
EQ is as important as IQ and even more so.
This is the best Ted talk I've ever seen and I've seen a LOT of them. No fillers, just to the point and engaging lecture.
I've been watching Ted talks for years but this is truly the most powerful talk so far. It just pointed out my problem, I was always reluctant to reach out due to the apprehension of rejection, constantly unstable propensity to trust to people around. I must change these. thank you so much for you talk!
Best Ted Talk I have ever seen! Thank you, DOCTOR Winch!
Dr. Winch, congratulations on your brother's health. I almost lost a brother I am very close, too and his survival was the best gift I have received in life so far.
WOW! I want more. Okay, forget the fact he's eloquent and good looking and sparse of words therefore each and every word packs a punch, it's basic, even scriptural, and so true. Thank you Mr. Winch! I'm sharing on my FB and subscribing.
Thank you. I struggle daily with emotional issues that have dogged me for what feels my entire life. I found myself focus in on the sound of your calm voice and felt your words reach inside my muddled head and in some small way, something has shifted. I hope this is the beginning of something life changing. I will keep hold of these new feelings and see where they take me.
Very interesting.
So true.
I am so happy with myself because I have already been practicing what you say.
I am 100 per cent happy on my own.
My interests are to dress nice most times and keep planning more holidays.
So therapeutic.
The loneliest I have ever felt was when I was in a relationship.
Thank you.
Woke up this morning feeling down. This is exactly what I needed was a reminder to mind my thoughts.
I had/have a Problem with a specific thought about living in a Simulation that made me feel extremely lonely and sad. This thesis isnt true or false, and therefore not verified. But the possibility that it is real made me think that everything is fake and I slowly began to derealize. Ruminating about this scenario and the emotions towards my Family and others which would be fake in this case, let me burst into tears a lot of times. But this video gave me so much motivation to just believe and fight for myself. I thank you so much
I like listening to TED Talks while reading the comments because I can learn so much more with your thoughts too as much as listening to the video itself
Meditation is actual cure for this. There are tons of studies showing numerous benefits. Try this:
1. Sit comfortably with your back straight
2. close your eyes and focus on your breathing (try to slow it down a little bit)
3. every time you see some thought come up (or you even get caught up in it without realizing) just say "thought" and get back to your breathing. Don't try to suppress your thoughts, just let them run in the background
Do this every day for 5 minutes (set a timer) and over time gradually increase to 30. You will start to see some results after month.
Viktor,
Unfortunately most folks love the intellectual exercise of the content of this talk. Emotional hygiene - a catchy phrase that surprise listeners.
What you share... totally agree. Forget visiting psychologists n psychiatrists... they are robbers.
The solution is always what lies hidden between our both ears - the discriminating mind.
Thanks you for the tips.
I do meditation in motion - practicing my taichi routine every morning.
Thank you for the suggestion. I have known about the benefits of meditation for years. Many of my friends do it regularly and tell me how much they benefit from it, and yet I can't seem to get myself to do it on a regular basis. It's like I have some sort of aversion to it. A voice inside says that it's a waste of time, it won't work, and I should be doing something else. Sigh.
Absolutely priceless! Thank You 🙏❤️
This was great. The "Why" was very powerful. It just needs a "How".
Going in my favorites. So grateful I found this speaker and this talk. So down to earth and compassionate.
"It's time to close the gap between our physical and psychological health" So true. Modern culture definitely needs to close this gap.
One of the best talks I've heard in a long time. Thanks!
The world would be so much better if we practiced psychological higiene. I'm starting to do it because I FIRMLY BELIEVE that a beautiful word can come out of this and I hope you, reading this, do it too.
Thank you TED and Dr Guy Winch.
I believe beside being a great psychologist, you could also become a great narrator.
Best TedTalk EVER. Great narrative, timing, and content.
This is so incredible! Thank you for doing this talk.
Absolutely amazing. Thank you.
Ted Talks are the most inspiring , uplifting , and encouraging messages from awesome speakers thinkers and survivers THANKYOU
Excellent speaker!
One of the BEST Ted talks I have heard . Thank you
That inner voice can sabotage you.
Absolutely life changing. I really needed to hear this!!
This is exactly what I needed to hear
What a great speaker!
Simply Excellent! Thank you for your Tedx talk :)
I feel like this is just the introduction. I’m ready for the part about HOW to do that.
Listening for second time in 2019. Thank you, Guy Winch for reminding me of a time I knew this well, but then forgot.
I'm overwhelmed...Thank you very much
LOVED THIS SO MUCH.
Wise words!!! Thank you for patiently explaining the significance of emotional hygiene.
This is just what I needed! I listened to this about 4-5 times tonight after having a rough evening. Thank you!
thank you for this message.
You preaching man!! Revolutionary talk , I love it!!!!
Goin through a difficult time, this speech was delivered with feeling and i loved it...
This message is so beautiful. Thank you so much! I totally agree 🥰
Oh, my dear Mr Winch. What certain truth you speak. I wish there was a deeper/better expression than just thankyou, for your learning, your wisdom, your effort and your sharing. I was a primary school teacher in Australia in the years 1986 -1995, I had many children in my class with sad, difficult and often very damaging problems. Obviously, they frequently also had serious behaviour issues and problems expressing their emotions appropriately. Quite often, when I could see it was needed, I left my normal lesson plan and took the 'deviation' to talk about feelings, stirred the empathy that they could develop for each other, reassured them that their emotions were to be felt, that they could talk about problems etc and many other things. I started a group for children who felt isolated, or whose parents were divorcing, or who were grieving for somebody. I was amazed at how much those children responded. Their behaviour calmed, their achievements increased and I don't value the academic more than the personal achievments here, like being brave enough to speak up for yourself or another person. To admit to feeling fear, sadness, loneliness, anger etc. I was always a very popular teacher with students and parents, but of course not with those in higher authority, (the school principle) some colleagues etc, maybe they were afraid or jealous of my popularity or abilities with difficult children. Now, in my mid-fifties and living with my husband and younger son in Germany, I feel lonely, extremely unconfident, lost, unvalued and seriously isolated. I agree with all you have said. Hearing you has reminded me that I can change, begin afresh, learn, reach out and try again to be myself. Thankyou for being an inspiration, I really need one!
Thankyou so much. I really needed to hear this.
Wow that was such an amazing story!
I’m so happy to see the picture of them both side by side. 💕This was very informative and the way he described what loneliness does was an interesting perspective and relatable. I feel like this going to truly help many people!!
This was fabulous. Great content from a very engaging speaker. I will definitely be reading his books!
i really like his sensor of humor along with his brilliance!
fantastic talk! delivered incredibly well, really hit the spot. thankyou
This helped me a lot today. It was a rough one and I'm so glad I watched this. Thank you for the insight.
A great TED and I learned so much in such a little time. And I am very happy his brother is OK and could recover from this illness. Thank you for sharing this wise words.
cant say enough , what a lovely n warm man !
love this guy. so beautifully he put it all. god bless you.
one of the best talks i've listened to. Great speech, great man ! thank you very much :-)
Thank you so much for this presentation.
This is very important!
i needed this talk badly!
Thank you very much.
Contents are perfect. Thank you. Best one I have ever watched!