I totally agree! As a Christian girl, these are great tips for guys. At least for me, I'd love it if a guy was brave enough to ask me out, even if he wasn't sure if I'd say yes. Girls know the confidence and risk it takes to do that kind of thing, and I think most girls would give the guy a chance even if she wasn't sure if she was into him or not right away. So get out there guys, and be brave enough to pursue her!
FinancialFreedomForAll Well, first of all, I would say you never know if she'll say no or not until you try. I don't know for sure if this is the case, but sometimes I think guys can get in their own heads and worry about what the girl's answer will be so much that they scare themselves out of doing it. If that happens, then they are for sure not pursuing girls the way that most girls would like them to. Now, if she does say no and/or doesn't reciprocate the effort you put in, then that's the point where you should stop. There are some people that would say keep pursuing her to win her over even if she says no, but to me at least, I don't think that's what Mark was saying in this video, nor do I think that's an attractive thing to do. And it's not the end of the world if she says no, even though rejection can feel like it is sometimes. So, I'd say, ask her out even if you're afraid. And if she says no, you should probably let it go. I hope this helps some. :)
Hey man! I know this is a couple of weeks late, but making such assumptions can be dangerous. Maybe she is that way, or maybe she isn't. Some other possibilities include: -She is presently attracted to another guy who she is hoping will ask her out.(aka she's emotionally unavailable so even if she doesn't know you, she could be pretty sure she won't like you as she likes someone else atm. In this case, I'd say it would be a mistake for her to say yes) -She only believes in serious dating(dating for marriage) and as a result wouldn't consider dating someone she doesn't know(not necessarily immature, just has a different perspective on relationships) etc. Maybe she could have reacted better when you asked her out, but try to give her grace.
some girls are that way but the data show that good number of girls are very picky and not very good at being the receiver. Some cases men will get a rejection rate of 80% percent if they are not very good their social skills. Remember romance is not a logical man domaine. Yes we can do we just not that good at it. Some men are good at though but I not one of them.
Free Game: As a woman I will say ... “ pursue her!” Coming off as shy will make her think you are not serious/ wishy washy or you are not confident in who you are as a man. Engage her in basic conversation... find common ground and stay on topic. Actually listen and engage in the convo. Tell her it was nice talking to you. .....If she opens up make a Segway to something simple like continuing the convo another time. If she responds favorably ask her where she would like to go or suggest something. -OR- Allow her to relish the moment (the convo) and repeat if you know chances you will see her again soon. SN: Every girl is not into coffee so if you say let’s get coffee to someone who doesn’t drink coffee they will likely turn you down as you asked them to do something they don’t like. Tell her she seems interesting and you would like to get to know her. This is very non threatening. Then actually get to know her. Ask about her likes dislikes and thoughts on various topics. If she shares something personal listen, encourage and tell her that you’ll add it to your prayer list. Be proactive with phone calls ( like 1/day initially and see how she is responding to you...adjust based on her response. calls show you are more interested than texts) If you stay texting it shows you are not really interested, have other interests or you may end up friend zoned. Don’t tell her you just want to be her friend if that’s not true. To women that’s super confusing. We don’t know if it’s genuine (you will get friend zoned) or you are a player (non commital looking for friends with benefits) Offer simple compliments. “That color looks great on you.” “Your hair looks nice.” “You did a great job with that” Compliment her on her pursuits. Offer to do something she needs done. Avoid the cheesy attempt to make her laugh. If she doesn’t find it funny it will just make things super awkward. -signed a single, Jesus loving, Christian woman in her 30’s
This is such am eye opener,you should have your own yt channel,I quit dating long time ago but a small still voice keep telling me I should be with someone.. am gona try pursuing from now on
@The Unknown John Doe you’re welcome and that’s fine as long as it’s on her end and that’s a fit for you. Sometimes it’s more challenging to get to know someone from scratch through text. If it works for you both, awesome!
Mark, keep standing your ground on the biblical view of relationships and marriage! You have the best advice on youtube for men looking out for that special lady!
Sin never works put bro. True christian will feel grieves over any sin. Sin leads people to eternal hell. But there is hope in true repantance and faith towards Jesus Christ 🙏🏼. Repent and believe the Gospel of Jesus Christ
One thing to note is that it's really not that easy for a guy to pursue women in church. If you get rejected a couple of times by different women you won't be motivated to keep pursuing in fear that rumors will spread that you are like a player. Do you think a Christian woman will accept a guy just because he was man enough to pursue her? Not way. Today's women's expectations of men are sky high. Do you think they only see his faith and character? No way. They have a long list of things they want from a man and Christian women are the pickiest believe me. Because the man has to have everything else including a strong faith in God. Women also need to be educated in the church on what they should be looking for in a Christian male partner. The men need to learn to pursue properly as a Christian and women need to learn to discern on what to look for a Christian man.
Right. If you aren't a provider and protector and if she's not attracted to you why should she say yes? You need to prove that you are ready to date for marriage.
Women in church also have outside means thru online dating sites. Last year 2 women at my church passed over any men at church and found husbands on line and brought them from other cities to this city and this church. Neither man has much on the ball, wimps. Some church women marry far below their level.
Dan L Has a strong point, guys. Yes, men have to be mature in their faith, but women have to also. Spiritually mature man = Initiates correctly Spiritually mature women = Reciprocates correctly If the man initiates correctly, has TRUE qualities of Christ, and get rejected, its the girl's maturity that's in question. If the woman has TRUE qualities of Christ and is not pursued, its the boy's maturity that's in question.
Just because you have faith doesn’t mean you’re gonna be a great man in a relationship or marriage. There’s a lot the man and woman should be bringing to the table, especially if you’re going after your ideal woman. I’ve met a lot of Christian girls that are BORING. My word. Cant stress how disappointing it can be. It reminds me how much I want myself to be a REAL catch to the woman I marry. I want her to see how how much I bring to the table. Which means I legit need to have a lot that’s going for me. And it’s a good thing to do that.
lovely video, the time you meet with your wife during that time one to one was because the world was so advanced, there was much understanding by then.During the time when Mass ships went to Africa those days was really a time that U can meet somebody,you loved and show you understanding by then. let me recall the year when you was in that ship because that ship went to my country Sierra Leone I was in class six going to class 7during 1990 to 1991if i can still recalled you are blessed to locate your wife that time by then the world is really nice things were fine and everything was so cheaper. Thank you so much for your wonderful preaching to understand your great topic.
The number one problem with dating is that people get too serious too fast ! Every woman I meet has a boyfriend, and that's wrong because going steady is an excuse to go out with a jerk ! A woman can't find the right man if she's going steady with the wrong one !
As a man I would totally agree on the lesser need for socializing. That is the main thing I find difficult about being single is meeting people. I just recently started going to church again and I literally do not know anyone. I have reached out to the music ministry to see if they have something I can do, but my work schedule is night shift and I think most places have Wed. night practices, but I am still available on my off days to do things. Anyways I have definitely many things that I had struggled with for so long that would not be good to bring into a dating relationship let alone a marriage; I was led to repentance and am now going through the healing/learning how to walk the correct way process and I am so ashamed it has taken so long to get serious.
The main issue is men today is they are broken and not in the healing process of better them social and spiritual and emotional intelligence. I hear men complain and the main issue is men don't know HOW to pursue, sustain and maintain a healthy relationship. Often they too self focused on not focused on being 'selfless' for the other person. MALES now expect woman to lead and pay the bills and take care of the kids. I run a Christian group of 900 people and mental health is the main issue systemically. Lack of understanding on what it means to have a ''CHRIST CENTERED" healthy relationship IS A HUGE PROBLEM! PRAY for changes for the males to become MEN of GOD, to be warriors the way men were innate to be!
I disagree. And agree. Lot of males today never grew into men. But many females have never grew into women. This is teaching, knowing true self worth, mental, spiritual. Not necessarily in that order.
It's not true that men don't know how to pursue. The fact is that men DON'T FCKING WANT ANYMORE to pursue. I'm a man, and after many rejections I'm sick of making the first move and pursuing a F. I had enough of this shitty rigged game. Fs nowadays have unrealistic expectations and standards, because they want benefits of modern society and being modern Fs (promiscuous relationships with lots of Chads, free meal from betabuxx), but still they want to have the mr.Right traditional stoic man and marriage/wedding at their convenience. If Fs don't humble theirself, then men are out forever.
Intention and focus! Love it, thanks bro I’ve been going to young adults church service. This one girl I’m interested gives me full attention when I talk to her. Going to use this advice next weekend. Her dad was the pastor tonight and he was cool but seemed intimidated by me they were all in a circle together I might came off a lil rugged, anyways I hope I’m blessed to spend time with her to see if she’ll be my future wife!
I would be happy to give advice, but I pretty much fail with the ways of love. Always be honest though, even if it seems like the worse choice, or too straight forward. I wish you well in your pursuit.
Very true that you want to let her know where the goal is : you have listened to God for awhile about a girl. You KNOW how to hear God and you have developed it....she will sense that you have done this. i am an old guy, never married. not any longterm relationships, but i am really into this idea lately...in fact, the Lord allows me to visualise the lady for me, I ever draw pictures of her......I think think that impresses the lord even more.
i trust God.the bible says that if Jesus be lifted up He will draw all to himself..seek first Gods kingdom and all this will be added to u... if it wont happen Gods way then it wont be worth it and it wont be as blessed.
Ive watched a few of your videos so far. Im pretty excited to talk to this girl from church. She joined my religion, Greek Orthodox, just recently and got Chrismated.Your videos have helped a good bit. I feel like dating and stuff within a religious community is a bit tougher than non-religious. Cheers, man. Thank you!
Wow these tips were on point. I, myself did not realize about some of these, until now. There was this guy that I used to like, and I think I was kind of letting of him know about it, then later on, I think he found that out and finally had the courage, but then I started to just suddenly changed my mind. I was turned off for some reason that I did not get it myself. I thought it was pointless, and probably became less interested of him. These are all true except from a guy trying to get close with the girl's community, at least, from the point of view of a private and introverted person. Sometimes, it freaks them out, or I, myself find it invasive.
I think like you mentioned, yeah! it's probably from your point of view. For me trying to get along with my close pals and people that matter to me tells me that you are really interested. They are most probably going to always be around me or in one way or the other involved in my life, so if you also want to be involved in my life, I would be at peace to know you are making efforts to get along with them.
I think you're spoiled. You have proven to be immature and superficial. Basically, you're saying that if a man start to like you or falls in love with you, you automatically reject him for "no reason". That's manipulation. Love is not "I give him/her a chance, and if he/she doesn't notice it within a certain period of time, then he/she is out, I reject him/her". If someone is single, and you are truly interested in this person, you have to wait until he/she makes a decision, then if you see that he/she chooses another one instead of you, you must stop pursuing him/her.
👰My daddy said when a man is interested in you, he will come see about you. However I believe there must be mutual interest!! "Dating" is about gathering data. Not because either is interested in the other means that the other will be interested👄
The problem with the Christian Girl is that she's not interested in you. She might be happy enough to hang out with you, but her eyes are really on "Mr. Peter Perfect CU President Mature Christian (TM)" who speaks in tongues, plays the guitar and is outstandingly handsome to boot.
Ok I’m about to be the most aggressive I’ve ever been in my life when it comes to approaching Christian women. I’m ready to get married so i’ll be back with updates!
marshall parker I’m 27 years old. I actually just decided to grow in my relationship with the Lord. I’m going to put all my desires aside and going to focus on just growing in Christ. I know God always provides when the time is right and I will live according to his will not according to my desires. So i’ll be back with updates.
If you’re ready to be a husband-material, date. That’s the attraction that a Christian woman will see. I wished I learned it sooner. But, at 34 I still have time.
My case, i have a crush to a christian girl and we are same church after all. She is my childhood friend in our outreach church and then i wait her for a very long time like almost 7 years until now i very like her. But recently she find out that i have a crush on her, i don't know what to do because she is pulling away from me and sometimes ignoring me i don't know if i pursue this kind of our situation, but i still praying for her.
My kind of luck? The woman at church recommended to me by my mom more or less tells me she's asexual. A gal that rejected me previously then spreads rumors that I'm trying to hit on her, because I showed interest in doing freelance work for a restaurant's marketing department, unaware she was working at that restaurant at the time! I get another gal...but she's from China. And then Winnie the Pooh forcibly shuts down her VPN operators. And she can't afford the few that are left that are still legal, so she goes dark. Next I know, only bots and scammers seem to show any interest in me. Including some French woman living in Ivory Coast who's cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs, that I had to block. With some women, I let a week go by without saying a word, and then they say I'm "smothering" them if I ask very generically what's new. But the scammers will try to smother me with attention every 20 seconds, and I'm "mean" if I don't want to be bothered that much? Sadly, I've found that a lot of church-going women are so indoctrinated into compartmentalizing their existence, that they are oblivious to how what they hear in church is in any way reflective on how they are to live their lives outside of it - including regarding dating! So I find these women inside the church to be oftentimes just as immature as their secular counterparts. Which only results in me walking away frustrated, and going back to blogging. The blog only gives me crap, if I forget to properly close a tag.
I do go to church to heard god word and lessons they have at church and study the Bible and write in my own words what I think about that chapter read it and break it down and phrasing it . But god word always come first .
Chriss Underground Preacher you will get married someday. Just trust God and pray about it not everything what a pastor or some other elder says in the church or even if someone well respected by other Christians thats offering you Christian advice is right. Just be brave, trust in God follow the obvious word, be skeptical of what other People say, even if they sound like they got it all together. Listen to God and trust God even if life doesn’t go your way. Just remember God is with you all your life and what’s important is that we have a relationship with Jesus and reach out to those who are unsaved. Everything is going to be alright my friend.
how do I get her to see me as a choice in the Christian community instead? what do I do to make her wanna be with me when she is not seeming like she is looking for anyone. she is just kinda casual in the way she is just chill and wait for the right one. how do i make her see me?
Hi Mark. Things are going pear-shaped out there in the dating world because girls can now have guys criminally charged with things like sexual assault for doing trivial things like simply making an awkward or clumsy approach that the girl doesn't like. A lot of guys are bailing out altogether because they're not particularly confident or adept in the first place and they don't want to risk criminal charges just for trying to talk to girls with a view to initiating a relationship. Have you any thoughts on this problem?
he said in one of his videos that you shouldn't ask a girl whom you don't know for date. first u have to be frnds with her and get to know her for a while. only then shud u ask her out. after being frnds, obviously you don't have to fear that the girl will complain of assault when you ask her out.
I have been dating a woman in my church for 10 months now, we broke up last night but some things were exposed I didn’t know. I am a three time combat vet and each time I come home I felt different but could pin point it. So she told me I can be mean sometimes and sometimes there’s a communication issue as she’s asin I am American. I could go on but for space you know. I love this woman but not sure what to do now. Can anyone help with advice who knows Jesus?
Thank you for sharing this with single men! As a woman, I will tell you all this is true. Christian men need to hear this! And I love your last point, most women want a guy to be intentional on their dating relationship. I wish more men had the knowledge you do and knew that pursuing a woman IS very a attractive to a women and what all women want that. Anyway, please keep doing what you’re doing- it is very needed.
Pursuing a man is very attractive to a man as it goes against societially constructed norms. It shows men that you are a woman who thinks critically enough to deduce this, and who doesn't value themselves only based off of a man wanting them (usually sexually), but has actual worth and value that has taken hard work and sacrafices to acheive, and they know what they bring to the table and aren't just hoping that some man will come sweep them off their feet.
Does this matter? . Can't drive yet, don't really have the best situation of parents. So id be unable to to pick her up. Unable to meet who's important to her. I want to be a great husband/father/friend but most importantly follower of Christ. I feel like due to my circumstances I shouldn't try and pursue someone if I can't. What do you think?
Could you do a video on possible reasons Christian guys don't pursue christian girls? I've never had a guy pursue me. It's always had to be me making the first move or else nothing else happens.
I need all this advice because their is this Christian girl who I’m trying to get with pretty much but the thing is that I don’t want to ruined my chances so these are so pretty good tips
What do you do if you have inadvertently been too vulnerable/open from the start of the relationship and she’s unresponsive. Do you just stop and forget it or what? I’m at the point where I feel like I blew it and I don’t know if there’s any hope for me.
All you can do is the next right thing. If you two are meant to be together, just keep doing the right thing and it will work out. If you do the right things (meaning you are not sinning) and it doesn't work out, God has something else for you.
Im in the same boat bro. Im scared too and i think i did freak her out. This video just helped me understand that i need to focus on something she likes and not just on her. Thanks.
Is marriage inconsistent with humility, especially for males? Can a man be a real man for his wife, and still be meek and humble enough to serve the Lord? Could this be why St. Paul advised celibacy?
George Penton I believe to be a real man he must be humble which is consistent with marriage. To lead and love a wife you must be humble with a servant attitude. Masculinity based in bravado and pride is not true strength. Also, Paul did not advise celibacy for all but only those who have the gift of singleness. Marriage is a gift from God too that Paul encourages (1 Corinthians 7)
Marriage can be completely consistent with humility, just like leadership and headship can be completely consistent with humility. Christ is the perfect example of the humble leader.
This is the problem with our generations today, they can’t conceive of humility and strength simultaneously. As Solomon says, there is a season for everything.
A girl, to whom I loved with, I proposed her at her church. It wasn't really proposal though but I felt that my biggest mistake was I shouldn't had asked that " You've boyfriend or not"? I have asked her so many times and it makes her so irritating after that she told while shaking her head YES I'VE. But while I was approaching her she couldn't spoke at all. I truly believe that she doesn't have any boyfriend. But none can understand girls.
What? "None can understand girls"? WTF really? You didn't understand that was manipulation?? Don't pursue ambiguous Fs, please. When the game is rigged, the best thing you can do is to not play.
I like this one girl and I just haven't asked her out because I don't even know what to say like I don't want to blow it automatically on the girl and just lose this girl that I really think that's pretty and that I like her so I don't want to blow it on her and lose her because I don't even know how to react and do the right thing
Hi Mark! I'm Rafi. I must say that your videos are very helpful. I'm relatively a new believer but focus to serve for his kindom. I'm 49 and divorced for 3 years. I have asked the LORD and think I'm ready to date but my congregation is very small therefore not much opportunities to meet new people. I was glad that you mention online dating in one of your videos because I think I have to go that route. Do you have any suggestions as far as dating sites? Thanks Mark. GOD BLESS!
Hey bro I just started becoming good friends with this girl that I met when I was out about doing my thing taking care of business she saw me and came and started talking to me now we been friends for a while now I like her and she likes me but she's kind of in a place right now to try to give recovery and it's hard for her to do anything like go to the movies and stuff hang out I can tell that she likes me because she's always staring and we ride the bus together I got on there yesterday after I got done doing stuff she said oh I'm glad I got to run into you again SO LIKE WHAT SHOULD I DO BRO and u said on here to be patient right
I know a girl I’m interested in. She doesn’t watch movies, drink coffee, and she’s gluten free. This pretty much knocks out everything I’d wanna do naturally, but I can make it work- I’m curious how this went, if at all, and just thinking about how I could go about it. I know the timing isn’t quite right atm but I want to ask her out,
I've been praying and like there is 2 girls who are fully Christian I mean one girl is the pastors daughter and the other is a Christian 2 and I dont but like it's crazy but I dont know if its alright for me to pick from them or like idk
Hey, go to God him prayers. Ask him to show you his purpose for you and ask him to show you your purpose towards the ladies. He will speak to you and lead you
What do you think, can pursuing God and girl work together? I like a girl very much, but Im always telling myself I should wait, because I have nothing interesting in my life to show to any girl. I think I should find ministry and friends first, then girls will notice me later more. Does it make sense? But if I wait too much, attraction dies instantly, and who knows maybe a girl could lead me into new people or something. I just dont know how to prioritise and just overthinking everything, not even sleeping. I already feel i waited too much and I missed a girl again, because I cant find my place in christianity, and I dont want to lose focus on God putting all my energy into pursuing a girl. Any tips would be appreciated.
" But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. " :) The more I hate to wait the more I admit myself there is no other way, I learnt by experience that tryharding is useless and only makes us feel even worse, and never leads anywhere... Let's pray for this topic, and Im sure you and me will get all the answers and everything in time ! :)
What if I just started talking to her a couple days ago? We live in the same town but never met in person so far. And so far I’m the one messaging her first, I don’t want to scare her away, should I wait for us to know each other more or should I just tell her my intentions?
I have a problem and I hope you have an answer. Theirs this boy who I have a crush on In youth group however from his actions I can tell he doesn't have a crush on me... how can I get over all the feelings I have for him??😭
@@Android-ds9ie I think its great advise, maybe he hasn't even considered her as a partner because he feels the same way, no one reads minds. Also he might be attracted to her open honesty. And really, what does it hurt other than her ego(which is inconsequential)?
A husband should lead his wife. It's not about a man leading a woman :) So first step would be to get married. But before marriage, focus on yourself and develop into a godly man
@@carterbusby239 im too embarrassed to talk about it, currently not even pursuing to do this whole Christian dating stuff, i quit that a while back ago.
MAJOR insidious pervasive problem is that men rarely purse at all today..particularly when males who are not reading the WORD and watching porn or have other addictions! I know numerous males and they are looking abroad and I believe this is because they do NOT know HOW to pursue. Why cant a guy ask a lady out for a coffee? I told many males this and they are inept with this issue. Churches teach NOTHING in regards to the process of courtship. Ladies are now looking outside the church. Mental health is a MAJOR problem today with 50% of Christians in Canada, if not more are single.
I don't think it's that. Considering the fact that we live in the metoo era and it doesn't take much for a man to lose his good standing along with all he's worked hard for just off the word of a woman's false accusation, I'd say that some are playing it smart strategically speaking. It can't be had both ways. The sisterhood metoo stuff cannot be used as weapons against men and then turn around and wonder why they're not approaching. It's too the point now where some women believe that a man having an initial romantic attraction to a woman is disrespectful and disgusting smh. I'd say that at this point it's up to the women who see what's going on to call their fellow "sisters" out. It's more effective coming from them being that if a man says this stuff it's seen as women bashing. It is what it is.
@@watitdufulThanks for speaking your thoughts, but I have to say reading up on why men dont pursue is more of a mental/spiritual blindness with too many earthly desires (and females). Men dont face challenges - they run away from them. More ladies are attending self-development courses and growing in leadership than men. Men dont want to attend courses for personal and spiritual development! They are in denial and think nothing is wrong. I know many men who are in this situation in the 30's to 50s. It is a struggle to think of staying married to someone for the 'rest of their life , not to mention other external worldly challenges, so they find substitutions to deal with this issue through internal coping skills with addictions. I heard stories from men on why they are pursuing older and wanting to be responsible is another issue. Males in this day are "believers but not followers" and then when they get older they want to settle down...with a younger lady for they are wanting to feel young and have the earthly desires and have someone take care of them. It is very unattractive when I see males who can't face their own challenges and expect that a 'healthy marriage' is going to happen with all the baggage they have. Churches need to teach practical principles starting in youth and make this a year-round teaching in the churches. Too many are confused and now expecting woman to pursue and lead!! Huge problems in the churches today!!
Women wanting men to make the first move is the same as women wanting men to cut their hair and get circumsized, it actually puts them in the leadership position and makes them the slave masters, civilizations have been cutting the hair and genitals of slaves for many millenia, since the Egyptians, the only true relationship between a man and woman is an equal one, of which women do not want to partake in because they do not feel equal, even though they will preech that they are better morally, intellectually, and even physically... Jennane.
Perhaps ask someone close to you what you are doing. Getting blocked often would your own fault and not women in general. Perhaps you are coming across creepy?
Hey mark, I think it’s apparent that you should be financially somewhat independent if you are serious about seeing someone. I just turned 23. But I’m curious do you remember your financial circumstance at 22 when you decided to pursue your wife?
Mark can you do a video - if you haven't done one already- on how to deal with or recover from rejection, when you as a guy *do* approach a Christian girl, and she rejects you flat-out. Lol (*facepalm*). I had approached a friend a couple of years ago, just letting her know how I felt about her - and her response was "Why"?... That seemed an unusual and was an unexpected response; I remember being flustered and things were awkward after that, as I really didn't know "how" to answer that. I knew - and still know now- that I cared about her greatly and admired her, but her asking me "Why" I liked her - especially maybe kinda "confrontationally" stumped me at the time. We're still friends now tho, and the funny thing is I find myself "feeling" for her again. But I'm almost "deadly" afraid of approaching her again - once bitten twice shy- both because of the fear of being rejected like that again; but also wondering if it's maybe not a good idea to approach her anyway, given lack of interest back then (perhaps God really doesn't intend us to date anyway). So I'd love to know: 1) "Should" I pursue in this case? Or even just express interest? 2) HOW do I go about it in this case, if I "should";And 3) how to GET OVER the previous (or possibly future?) rejection? Thanks.
Great question. I added the rejection question to my video list so hopefully I can do that one soon. Here's a video about pursuing a girl again after she said no once. ruclips.net/video/Vgi_ElUZHbk/видео.html
ApplyGodsWord.com/Mark Ballenger thanks Mark. Would you believe though I just found - or maybe I was "led to find- your video about the "friend zone"?? That answered many questions for me on this same issue (you can check out my comments there...). Wish I had come across these teachings a couple of years ago :). Thank you again Mark; your teaching is a blessing for men and women alike - even those older than you :)
D B I am in the same boat as you champ, I am pursuing someone discreetly and we are not close friends but I have spoken to her a little. Just wanna ask, are you close friends with her or just only friends before you confessed to her
More generic advise that I've heard time and time again that doesn't work. Everything here is just broad concepts without any real specific examples of how to convey interest. This is coming from a guy who has done one number multiple times and had been rejected 100% of the time by women so they can date the "reformed" bad boy. I'm guessing your wife is the only woman you've ever been with given the age you got married, you have no idea what it's like to be a single man in his thirties and has saved himself for marriage and being told to "Man Up" and marry a woman who hasn't.
Don't be so sure they wanted to "date the reformed bad boy." That may be a convenient cop-out. I was "pursued" by an awesome guy who seriously needed to pay more attention to his personal hygiene. A different haircut and a serious visit to his dentist could have made all the difference in the world. Yes, I tried telling him, "nicely." He wasn't picking up. Please don't think you are the only one who has "saved their self for marriage." I'm 28, have prayed for my future husband since I was 12, have developed a close relationship with the L-rd in preparation for becoming a G-dly wife, and kept myself pure. When you say "rejected 100% of the time," I think you should be looking closer to home for the problem. There ARE G-dly women out here PRAYING for G-dly men to step up to the plate
Interest is conveyed in many ways. Artists can use art. Writers write. Etc. get creative, that is part of the fun of the chase. If interest is reciprocated then I think it is safe for the man to take a step forward to ask them out. Simple enough? It’s like a dance where a man should lead. It doesn’t have to be so complex or specific because everyone is different and if you do the most loving part of you and commit extra time and care, anyone could pick up on that. There aren’t steps to this.
@Christian your story sounds similar to my small group, except most of the women are in their thirties in that situation (I'm a bit younger). Something I've noticed is those who do move forward in relationships have done serious work on themselves, they've forgiven other's pasts, they've gotten on top of basic attractive adulthood things (finances, hygiene, social skills) and they hold biblical standards for a potential partner. I.e. if someone had a crazy past, have they repented? What is their life like now? Not to gossip about them but just mental checkpoints. It's good to know yourself, it sounds like you want to find someone not previously involved, no kids. There are TONs of women like that out there, many of them watching videos like this. I'd encourage you not to give up, to keep looking and working on yourself and your relationship with God. God doesn't hold any of our pasts against us-older brother and younger brother are invited to the party alike. What makes the difference is what we do with the now!
99+% of women in our corrupt western society have sex before marriage, they dont value relationships in the way you do and your purity makes them feel their true sense of self.. dirty. Being with "reformed" bad boys allows them to feel less of a failure/dirty, it is what it is, and while alot of men will wait for marriage most women do not. This is why god made the hymen, but beware they are doing hymen reconstruction now and youll need full medical disclosure to be sure, I only say this because women understand how much a pure man values this aspect of purity, however they dont understand the reasons why we value it, they try and chalk it down to perversion, but pure men know its value goes far beyond that. Cheerish your purity, premarital sex is highly overrated by those who wish they had waited...
I found this to be helpful. Thanks bro! I am thinking more about how to convey a consistent tone of conventionality, without coming on too strong. I have always been caught up on the idea that With women being more emotional, that they will be attracted to a man that is emotionally available, and I'm seeing now that I was probably emotionally overbearing to soon. I have had a couple dates that have never made it to a second date. I'm thinking now that it had something to do with being too open and vulnerable too soon. If I understand what you're saying correctly, It's that you need to find a way to make your intentions clear, without being to specific about marriage topics, but all while conveying that the possibility of marriage is the only reason your in the business of dating?
If you're both pursuing God first and foremost, the rest falls into place.
And when you are following God he will lead you to take the right steps which can be hard but he will empower you to do it :)
@@NONAME-vl5dn I believe God is asking you for permission for Him to pursue your heart.
@@YurLord thank you these past few weeks I have been proven wrong :')
He's God, he doesn't need permission. He has sovereign authority over all.
Joseph Gonzales I think us humans have authority God has the power
You appeared on my feed, I have been asking God for guidance. and here you come!! Thank you !
Amen! So glad you found the channel :)
RUclips heard your prayers.
I totally agree! As a Christian girl, these are great tips for guys. At least for me, I'd love it if a guy was brave enough to ask me out, even if he wasn't sure if I'd say yes. Girls know the confidence and risk it takes to do that kind of thing, and I think most girls would give the guy a chance even if she wasn't sure if she was into him or not right away. So get out there guys, and be brave enough to pursue her!
Abby R. Great perspective, thanks for sharing that with us. I agree with you.
FinancialFreedomForAll Well, first of all, I would say you never know if she'll say no or not until you try. I don't know for sure if this is the case, but sometimes I think guys can get in their own heads and worry about what the girl's answer will be so much that they scare themselves out of doing it. If that happens, then they are for sure not pursuing girls the way that most girls would like them to. Now, if she does say no and/or doesn't reciprocate the effort you put in, then that's the point where you should stop. There are some people that would say keep pursuing her to win her over even if she says no, but to me at least, I don't think that's what Mark was saying in this video, nor do I think that's an attractive thing to do. And it's not the end of the world if she says no, even though rejection can feel like it is sometimes. So, I'd say, ask her out even if you're afraid. And if she says no, you should probably let it go. I hope this helps some. :)
Hey man! I know this is a couple of weeks late, but making such assumptions can be dangerous. Maybe she is that way, or maybe she isn't. Some other possibilities include:
-She is presently attracted to another guy who she is hoping will ask her out.(aka she's emotionally unavailable so even if she doesn't know you, she could be pretty sure she won't like you as she likes someone else atm. In this case, I'd say it would be a mistake for her to say yes)
-She only believes in serious dating(dating for marriage) and as a result wouldn't consider dating someone she doesn't know(not necessarily immature, just has a different perspective on relationships)
etc.
Maybe she could have reacted better when you asked her out, but try to give her grace.
some girls are that way but the data show that good number of girls are very picky and not very good at being the receiver. Some cases men will get a rejection rate of 80% percent if they are not very good their social skills. Remember romance is not a logical man domaine. Yes we can do we just not that good at it. Some men are good at though but I not one of them.
Ya this sounds real convenient for women...
Free Game:
As a woman I will say ... “ pursue her!” Coming off as shy will make her think you are not serious/ wishy washy or you are not confident in who you are as a man.
Engage her in basic conversation... find common ground and stay on topic. Actually listen and engage in the convo. Tell her it was nice talking to you. .....If she opens up make a Segway to something simple like continuing the convo another time. If she responds favorably ask her where she would like to go or suggest something. -OR- Allow her to relish the moment (the convo) and repeat if you know chances you will see her again soon. SN: Every girl is not into coffee so if you say let’s get coffee to someone who doesn’t drink coffee they will likely turn you down as you asked them to do something they don’t like.
Tell her she seems interesting and you would like to get to know her. This is very non threatening.
Then actually get to know her. Ask about her likes dislikes and thoughts on various topics.
If she shares something personal listen, encourage and tell her that you’ll add it to your prayer list.
Be proactive with phone calls ( like 1/day initially and see how she is responding to you...adjust based on her response. calls show you are more interested than texts) If you stay texting it shows you are not really interested, have other interests or you may end up friend zoned.
Don’t tell her you just want to be her friend if that’s not true. To women that’s super confusing. We don’t know if it’s genuine (you will get friend zoned) or you are a player (non commital looking for friends with benefits)
Offer simple compliments. “That color looks great on you.” “Your hair looks nice.” “You did a great job with that”
Compliment her on her pursuits.
Offer to do something she needs done.
Avoid the cheesy attempt to make her laugh. If she doesn’t find it funny it will just make things super awkward.
-signed a single, Jesus loving, Christian woman in her 30’s
Ok. I am a widower. 59. Was married 35 years. Not even sure I want to be married again. You gave the best advice I have heard so far. Compliments.
This is such am eye opener,you should have your own yt channel,I quit dating long time ago but a small still voice keep telling me I should be with someone.. am gona try pursuing from now on
@@leesnow5859 Thanks! If you were watching this video, the desire is there somewhere. Pray and let the Lord lead you. 🙏🏾
@The Unknown John Doe you’re welcome and that’s fine as long as it’s on her end and that’s a fit for you. Sometimes it’s more challenging to get to know someone from scratch through text. If it works for you both, awesome!
Yeah... Pursue her and be ghosted or be accused for stalking and harassment.
You are one of the most helpful christian people ive ever listened to. May God bless you!
Mark, keep standing your ground on the biblical view of relationships and marriage! You have the best advice on youtube for men looking out for that special lady!
Only video I have found that's worth watching so far.
Amen . I finally met my Guy and Christian men are the best! Ive never been so happy, light and feeling as a woman. Thank you God.
Happy you! Pray for us too! The fear of God in a man's life is the best think that can exist!🙏
Praise Allah
Your the man! I’m learning a lot. I’ve been dating in a non-Christian way, one night stands etc and It never worked out long term
Sin never works put bro. True christian will feel grieves over any sin. Sin leads people to eternal hell. But there is hope in true repantance and faith towards Jesus Christ 🙏🏼. Repent and believe the Gospel of Jesus Christ
One thing to note is that it's really not that easy for a guy to pursue women in church. If you get rejected a couple of times by different women you won't be motivated to keep pursuing in fear that rumors will spread that you are like a player. Do you think a Christian woman will accept a guy just because he was man enough to pursue her? Not way. Today's women's expectations of men are sky high. Do you think they only see his faith and character? No way. They have a long list of things they want from a man and Christian women are the pickiest believe me. Because the man has to have everything else including a strong faith in God. Women also need to be educated in the church on what they should be looking for in a Christian male partner. The men need to learn to pursue properly as a Christian and women need to learn to discern on what to look for a Christian man.
Right. If you aren't a provider and protector and if she's not attracted to you why should she say yes? You need to prove that you are ready to date for marriage.
Women in church also have outside means thru online dating sites. Last year 2 women at my church passed over any men at church and found husbands on line and brought them from other cities to this city and this church. Neither man has much on the ball, wimps. Some church women marry far below their level.
Dan L Has a strong point, guys. Yes, men have to be mature in their faith, but women have to also.
Spiritually mature man = Initiates correctly
Spiritually mature women = Reciprocates correctly
If the man initiates correctly, has TRUE qualities of Christ, and get rejected, its the girl's maturity that's in question.
If the woman has TRUE qualities of Christ and is not pursued, its the boy's maturity that's in question.
@@TheDashingStallion 🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯
Just because you have faith doesn’t mean you’re gonna be a great man in a relationship or marriage. There’s a lot the man and woman should be bringing to the table, especially if you’re going after your ideal woman.
I’ve met a lot of Christian girls that are BORING. My word. Cant stress how disappointing it can be. It reminds me how much I want myself to be a REAL catch to the woman I marry. I want her to see how how much I bring to the table. Which means I legit need to have a lot that’s going for me. And it’s a good thing to do that.
lovely video, the time you meet with your wife during that time one to one was because the world was so advanced, there was much understanding by then.During the time when Mass ships went to Africa those days was really a time that U can meet somebody,you loved and show you understanding by then. let me recall the year when you was in that ship because that ship went to my country Sierra Leone I was in class six going to class 7during 1990 to 1991if i can still recalled you are blessed to locate your wife that time by then the world is really nice things were fine and everything was so cheaper. Thank you so much for your wonderful preaching to understand your great topic.
The number one problem with dating is that people get too serious too fast ! Every woman I meet has a boyfriend, and that's wrong because going steady is an excuse to go out with a jerk ! A woman can't find the right man if she's going steady with the wrong one !
Yea man I don’t blame you
Dumb
😬😬😬
As a man I would totally agree on the lesser need for socializing. That is the main thing I find difficult about being single is meeting people. I just recently started going to church again and I literally do not know anyone. I have reached out to the music ministry to see if they have something I can do, but my work schedule is night shift and I think most places have Wed. night practices, but I am still available on my off days to do things. Anyways I have definitely many things that I had struggled with for so long that would not be good to bring into a dating relationship let alone a marriage; I was led to repentance and am now going through the healing/learning how to walk the correct way process and I am so ashamed it has taken so long to get serious.
You popped on my news feed out of nowhere and I know it’s no coincidence so it’s time to buckle down and start learning.
Ditty C awesome!
ApplyGodsWord.com/Mark Ballenger you’ll be seeing a lot from me! Glad to be apart of something great
Ditty C 👍
The main issue is men today is they are broken and not in the healing process of better them social and spiritual and emotional intelligence. I hear men complain and the main issue is men don't know HOW to pursue, sustain and maintain a healthy relationship. Often they too self focused on not focused on being 'selfless' for the other person. MALES now expect woman to lead and pay the bills and take care of the kids. I run a Christian group of 900 people and mental health is the main issue systemically. Lack of understanding on what it means to have a ''CHRIST CENTERED" healthy relationship IS A HUGE PROBLEM! PRAY for changes for the males to become MEN of GOD, to be warriors the way men were innate to be!
Amen
A 100000% agree with you!! Mental health is actually a major problem sticking people out of Christ presence
I disagree. And agree. Lot of males today never grew into men. But many females have never grew into women. This is teaching, knowing true self worth, mental, spiritual. Not necessarily in that order.
It's not true that men don't know how to pursue. The fact is that men DON'T FCKING WANT ANYMORE to pursue. I'm a man, and after many rejections I'm sick of making the first move and pursuing a F. I had enough of this shitty rigged game. Fs nowadays have unrealistic expectations and standards, because they want benefits of modern society and being modern Fs (promiscuous relationships with lots of Chads, free meal from betabuxx), but still they want to have the mr.Right traditional stoic man and marriage/wedding at their convenience.
If Fs don't humble theirself, then men are out forever.
@@leesnow5859 Fs have actually grew... Into sl*** and hoes.
"I REALLY REALLY like you and I want to marry you RIGHT NOW" that part made me laugh
Shut up
That is funny.
😆😆😆
thank god I found this, this is some huge help
So glad it was helpful!
My faith with god grows stronger everyday
God*
I absolutely agree, I'm thirteen almost fourteen and trying to live for God and believing unification after marriage
Wow I am also nineteen and I am learning a lot
This video is incredible! Very awesome tips that are true to big mistakes often made. Thank you!!!!
Intention and focus!
Love it, thanks bro I’ve been going to young adults church service. This one girl I’m interested gives me full attention when I talk to her. Going to use this advice next weekend. Her dad was the pastor tonight and he was cool but seemed intimidated by me they were all in a circle together I might came off a lil rugged, anyways I hope I’m blessed to spend time with her to see if she’ll be my future wife!
Im in pursuit of a woman but i am scared im pushing her away. I dont want to give up on her but i feel like im coming at her too strong. I need help.
I would be happy to give advice, but I pretty much fail with the ways of love. Always be honest though, even if it seems like the worse choice, or too straight forward. I wish you well in your pursuit.
If she's not interested then you must stop to pursue her.
Very true that you want to let her know where the goal is : you have listened to God for awhile about a girl. You KNOW how to hear God and you have developed it....she will sense that you have done this. i am an old guy, never married. not any longterm relationships, but i am really into this idea lately...in fact, the Lord allows me to visualise the lady for me, I ever draw pictures of her......I think think that impresses the lord even more.
Dang she made it painfully honest and when asked her she said yes then bailed lol
i trust God.the bible says that if Jesus be lifted up He will draw all to himself..seek first Gods kingdom and all this will be added to u... if it wont happen Gods way then it wont be worth it and it wont be as blessed.
Very true🙏❤
Just found this video today and I love it.
Ive watched a few of your videos so far. Im pretty excited to talk to this girl from church. She joined my religion, Greek Orthodox, just recently and got Chrismated.Your videos have helped a good bit. I feel like dating and stuff within a religious community is a bit tougher than non-religious. Cheers, man. Thank you!
Thank you so much. God Bless You 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
Wow these tips were on point. I, myself did not realize about some of these, until now. There was this guy that I used to like, and I think I was kind of letting of him know about it, then later on, I think he found that out and finally had the courage, but then I started to just suddenly changed my mind. I was turned off for some reason that I did not get it myself. I thought it was pointless, and probably became less interested of him.
These are all true except from a guy trying to get close with the girl's community, at least, from the point of view of a private and introverted person. Sometimes, it freaks them out, or I, myself find it invasive.
I think like you mentioned, yeah! it's probably from your point of view. For me trying to get along with my close pals and people that matter to me tells me that you are really interested. They are most probably going to always be around me or in one way or the other involved in my life, so if you also want to be involved in my life, I would be at peace to know you are making efforts to get along with them.
I think you're spoiled. You have proven to be immature and superficial. Basically, you're saying that if a man start to like you or falls in love with you, you automatically reject him for "no reason". That's manipulation.
Love is not "I give him/her a chance, and if he/she doesn't notice it within a certain period of time, then he/she is out, I reject him/her". If someone is single, and you are truly interested in this person, you have to wait until he/she makes a decision, then if you see that he/she chooses another one instead of you, you must stop pursuing him/her.
@@simoneracioppa5733 spot on friend... well it this case, the guy was lucky, God forbid date someone like this girl!!!!
I think every thing into your way has reasons ,in the way you on to ,thanks I believe Amen
Claude inspire Divan amen
🙏🏼
👰My daddy said when a man is interested in you, he will come see about you.
However I believe there must be mutual interest!!
"Dating" is about gathering data. Not because either is interested in the other means that the other will be interested👄
4 years later and 79k views. Keep it up, Mark! God bless
what do I do whne she pepper sprays me and says "LEAVE ME ALONE YOU CREEP" is that an indicator of her wanting to be with me forever?
it is dude go for it champ i say follow her home and know what she does everyday and follow her when she is running.
Average Ohio State fan
@@carterbusby239 buddy I was joking around better get those tampons ready bc ur on ur period
The problem with the Christian Girl is that she's not interested in you. She might be happy enough to hang out with you, but her eyes are really on "Mr. Peter Perfect CU President Mature Christian (TM)" who speaks in tongues, plays the guitar and is outstandingly handsome to boot.
Hahahaha
hahahahaha! the detailed description, hehehehehe
probro9898 even though speaking in tongues ceased over 1500 years ago.
God doesn't always give us what we want he hasn't given it to me and I'm fine with that
@@maritimesteak8540 he will who said otherwise
I would love to persue a good Christian girl. The problem is Tho, it feels like they all have boyfriends.
Ok I’m about to be the most aggressive I’ve ever been in my life when it comes to approaching Christian women. I’m ready to get married so i’ll be back with updates!
How did it go? I really hope it went well.
Arctic Seraph I’m still working on it. I also tried dating apps. But I’m still trying to talk to girls in my church. It’s complicated. Dating sucks
I feel you buddy, I wish you success. I am trying to figure out this girl I met, I don't know if she likes me or she's just being polite.
marshall parker I’m 27 years old. I actually just decided to grow in my relationship with the Lord. I’m going to put all my desires aside and going to focus on just growing in Christ. I know God always provides when the time is right and I will live according to his will not according to my desires. So i’ll be back with updates.
@@Kiddlekud denial, anger, bairganing, depression and acceptance. You're nearly there bro 😂
Thank you, Mark!
What if you are pursuing them and doesn't reciprocate??
If you’re ready to be a husband-material, date. That’s the attraction that a Christian woman will see. I wished I learned it sooner. But, at 34 I still have time.
My case, i have a crush to a christian girl and we are same church after all. She is my childhood friend in our outreach church and then i wait her for a very long time like almost 7 years until now i very like her. But recently she find out that i have a crush on her, i don't know what to do because she is pulling away from me and sometimes ignoring me i don't know if i pursue this kind of our situation, but i still praying for her.
Hahaha! Your funny man! God bless you man thanks
My kind of luck? The woman at church recommended to me by my mom more or less tells me she's asexual. A gal that rejected me previously then spreads rumors that I'm trying to hit on her, because I showed interest in doing freelance work for a restaurant's marketing department, unaware she was working at that restaurant at the time! I get another gal...but she's from China. And then Winnie the Pooh forcibly shuts down her VPN operators. And she can't afford the few that are left that are still legal, so she goes dark.
Next I know, only bots and scammers seem to show any interest in me. Including some French woman living in Ivory Coast who's cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs, that I had to block.
With some women, I let a week go by without saying a word, and then they say I'm "smothering" them if I ask very generically what's new. But the scammers will try to smother me with attention every 20 seconds, and I'm "mean" if I don't want to be bothered that much?
Sadly, I've found that a lot of church-going women are so indoctrinated into compartmentalizing their existence, that they are oblivious to how what they hear in church is in any way reflective on how they are to live their lives outside of it - including regarding dating! So I find these women inside the church to be oftentimes just as immature as their secular counterparts. Which only results in me walking away frustrated, and going back to blogging. The blog only gives me crap, if I forget to properly close a tag.
The game is rigged. The only way to win an extremely rigged game is to NOT PLAY.
Amen! As a christian woman, I 100% agree!
This makes perfect Godly sense to me 🙏
Very helpful ❤
I do go to church to heard god word and lessons they have at church and study the Bible and write in my own words what I think about that chapter read it and break it down and phrasing it . But god word always come first .
She will never date me, I risk lots! I can not find love. I scare everyone, so I will just have dogs for the rest of my life.
Chriss Underground Preacher you will get married someday. Just trust God and pray about it not everything what a pastor or some other elder says in the church or even if someone well respected by other Christians thats offering you Christian advice is right. Just be brave, trust in God follow the obvious word, be skeptical of what other People say, even if they sound like they got it all together. Listen to God and trust God even if life doesn’t go your way. Just remember God is with you all your life and what’s important is that we have a relationship with Jesus and reach out to those who are unsaved. Everything is going to be alright my friend.
Dang. How’s everything so far dude?
a dogs love is better than a womans
jayvion knox But a dog can’t give you children 🤷🏽♂️
@@Kiddlekud having children is bad
Now it's 2022 I have a Christian girl crush
Would love to see your books on Audio books...
Very good video!!
how do I get her to see me as a choice in the Christian community instead? what do I do to make her wanna be with me when she is not seeming like she is looking for anyone. she is just kinda casual in the way she is just chill and wait for the right one. how do i make her see me?
Check out her interest or her hobby she likes the most and start with it. She may intrude you in her sphere just naturally .. Good luck 🤞
These points are why I chose to embrace a celibate lifestyle a number of years ago and live alone.😮
Christ is coming soon!
Hi Mark. Things are going pear-shaped out there in the dating world because girls can now have guys criminally charged with things like sexual assault for doing trivial things like simply making an awkward or clumsy approach that the girl doesn't like. A lot of guys are bailing out altogether because they're not particularly confident or adept in the first place and they don't want to risk criminal charges just for trying to talk to girls with a view to initiating a relationship. Have you any thoughts on this problem?
he said in one of his videos that you shouldn't ask a girl whom you don't know for date. first u have to be frnds with her and get to know her for a while. only then shud u ask her out. after being frnds, obviously you don't have to fear that the girl will complain of assault when you ask her out.
Thank you so much for the video
I really need help, can you guys pray for me.
Thanks brother
God bless!
I have been dating a woman in my church for 10 months now, we broke up last night but some things were exposed I didn’t know. I am a three time combat vet and each time I come home I felt different but could pin point it. So she told me I can be mean sometimes and sometimes there’s a communication issue as she’s asin I am American. I could go on but for space you know. I love this woman but not sure what to do now. Can anyone help with advice who knows Jesus?
Pray to God with all your heart; for no excuse in hhe world, love all people well as unto God. Follow Him and pray and be happy in Jesus!
Pray to God with all your heart; for no excuse in hhe world, love all people well as unto God. Follow Him and pray and be happy in Jesus!
Pray to God with all your heart; for no excuse in hhe world, love all people well as unto God. Follow Him and pray and be happy in Jesus!
Pray to God with all your heart; for no excuse in hhe world, love all people well as unto God. Follow Him and pray and be happy in Jesus!
Great timing youtube! 😁
Thank you for sharing this with single men! As a woman, I will tell you all this is true. Christian men need to hear this! And I love your last point, most women want a guy to be intentional on their dating relationship. I wish more men had the knowledge you do and knew that pursuing a woman IS very a attractive to a women and what all women want that. Anyway, please keep doing what you’re doing- it is very needed.
Pursuing a man is very attractive to a man as it goes against societially constructed norms. It shows men that you are a woman who thinks critically enough to deduce this, and who doesn't value themselves only based off of a man wanting them (usually sexually), but has actual worth and value that has taken hard work and sacrafices to acheive, and they know what they bring to the table and aren't just hoping that some man will come sweep them off their feet.
Hi Kimberly
Thanks bro 😎
Does this matter?
. Can't drive yet, don't really have the best situation of parents. So id be unable to to pick her up. Unable to meet who's important to her.
I want to be a great husband/father/friend but most importantly follower of Christ. I feel like due to my circumstances I shouldn't try and pursue someone if I can't.
What do you think?
It sounds like you already know the answer. God wont give you a spouse until you sort out your life.
I’m talking to this girl and she has a wall up and is guarded. How do I get her to bring your guard down?
Move on bro. Have some self respect
Approaching women, ok. Approaching Christian women, absolutely terrifying.
YOU GET ME LOL 😭
It would be interesting to get female feedback on this video
Could you do a video on possible reasons Christian guys don't pursue christian girls? I've never had a guy pursue me. It's always had to be me making the first move or else nothing else happens.
Hi Cole, how are you?
I can relate
I need all this advice because their is this Christian girl who I’m trying to get with pretty much but the thing is that I don’t want to ruined my chances so these are so pretty good tips
What do you do if you have inadvertently been too vulnerable/open from the start of the relationship and she’s unresponsive. Do you just stop and forget it or what? I’m at the point where I feel like I blew it and I don’t know if there’s any hope for me.
All you can do is the next right thing. If you two are meant to be together, just keep doing the right thing and it will work out. If you do the right things (meaning you are not sinning) and it doesn't work out, God has something else for you.
I have a tendency to over analyze things especially if I think I’ve messed something up.
Im in the same boat bro. Im scared too and i think i did freak her out. This video just helped me understand that i need to focus on something she likes and not just on her. Thanks.
For being in the friend-zone, the common advice is to be less available to her for a season. Would that be appropriate in this situation?
You're right
Is marriage inconsistent with humility, especially for males? Can a man be a real man for his wife, and still be meek and humble enough to serve the Lord? Could this be why St. Paul advised celibacy?
George Penton I believe to be a real man he must be humble which is consistent with marriage. To lead and love a wife you must be humble with a servant attitude. Masculinity based in bravado and pride is not true strength. Also, Paul did not advise celibacy for all but only those who have the gift of singleness. Marriage is a gift from God too that Paul encourages (1 Corinthians 7)
Marriage can be completely consistent with humility, just like leadership and headship can be completely consistent with humility. Christ is the perfect example of the humble leader.
Great question George especiespeciaslly for those whom are religious zealots. Talking of zealots what do you say to th e m AGW
This is the problem with our generations today, they can’t conceive of humility and strength simultaneously. As Solomon says, there is a season for everything.
I like this video
A girl, to whom I loved with, I proposed her at her church. It wasn't really proposal though but I felt that my biggest mistake was I shouldn't had asked that " You've boyfriend or not"? I have asked her so many times and it makes her so irritating after that she told while shaking her head YES I'VE. But while I was approaching her she couldn't spoke at all. I truly believe that she doesn't have any boyfriend. But none can understand girls.
What? "None can understand girls"? WTF really?
You didn't understand that was manipulation?? Don't pursue ambiguous Fs, please.
When the game is rigged, the best thing you can do is to not play.
You must learn that Fs are not the prize, men are. Pursuing Fs nowadays is a waste of time, energy and health (and money).
So bless in this video again !
So true 🙏
Is it okay to pursue a woman while someone is pursuing her?
Hes right
I like this one girl and I just haven't asked her out because I don't even know what to say like I don't want to blow it automatically on the girl and just lose this girl that I really think that's pretty and that I like her so I don't want to blow it on her and lose her because I don't even know how to react and do the right thing
Hi Mark! I'm Rafi. I must say that your videos are very helpful. I'm relatively a new believer but focus to serve for his kindom. I'm 49 and divorced for 3 years. I have asked the LORD and think I'm ready to date but my congregation is very small therefore not much opportunities to meet new people. I was glad that you mention online dating in one of your videos because I think I have to go that route. Do you have any suggestions as far as dating sites? Thanks Mark. GOD BLESS!
I usually recommend eharmony but any site can work when you give it a good shot and follow the Lord
Hey bro I just started becoming good friends with this girl that I met when I was out about doing my thing taking care of business she saw me and came and started talking to me now we been friends for a while now I like her and she likes me but she's kind of in a place right now to try to give recovery and it's hard for her to do anything like go to the movies and stuff hang out I can tell that she likes me because she's always staring and we ride the bus together I got on there yesterday after I got done doing stuff she said oh I'm glad I got to run into you again SO LIKE WHAT SHOULD I DO BRO and u said on here to be patient right
I know a girl I’m interested in. She doesn’t watch movies, drink coffee, and she’s gluten free. This pretty much knocks out everything I’d wanna do naturally, but I can make it work- I’m curious how this went, if at all, and just thinking about how I could go about it. I know the timing isn’t quite right atm but I want to ask her out,
Don't agree with some of blogger's points, mutuality is perfect way to build relationships
What do u mean by risking and be vulnerable in a context?
For example " hey im on my way to see you" instead of, hey can i come to see you?
Stalk her I'm dead 😂
I've been praying and like there is 2 girls who are fully Christian I mean one girl is the pastors daughter and the other is a Christian 2 and I dont but like it's crazy but I dont know if its alright for me to pick from them or like idk
Hey, go to God him prayers. Ask him to show you his purpose for you and ask him to show you your purpose towards the ladies. He will speak to you and lead you
What do you think, can pursuing God and girl work together? I like a girl very much, but Im always telling myself I should wait, because I have nothing interesting in my life to show to any girl. I think I should find ministry and friends first, then girls will notice me later more. Does it make sense? But if I wait too much, attraction dies instantly, and who knows maybe a girl could lead me into new people or something. I just dont know how to prioritise and just overthinking everything, not even sleeping. I already feel i waited too much and I missed a girl again, because I cant find my place in christianity, and I dont want to lose focus on God putting all my energy into pursuing a girl. Any tips would be appreciated.
I’m going through the same thing.
Matthew 6:33
" But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. " :)
The more I hate to wait the more I admit myself there is no other way, I learnt by experience that tryharding is useless and only makes us feel even worse, and never leads anywhere... Let's pray for this topic, and Im sure you and me will get all the answers and everything in time ! :)
At what age should a guy pursue a girl?
When you've got money, sir
@@jeanpaulgartier3404 😂 sad but facts
What if I just started talking to her a couple days ago? We live in the same town but never met in person so far. And so far I’m the one messaging her first, I don’t want to scare her away, should I wait for us to know each other more or should I just tell her my intentions?
I have a problem and I hope you have an answer. Theirs this boy who I have a crush on In youth group however from his actions I can tell he doesn't have a crush on me... how can I get over all the feelings I have for him??😭
Hi Jade, this video may help ruclips.net/video/ouewfgiINiA/видео.html
find someone else
Let him know how you feel, can't hurt anything but your own ego... which is good to take down a few pegs from time to time.
@@CV-br1eu bad advice
@@Android-ds9ie I think its great advise, maybe he hasn't even considered her as a partner because he feels the same way, no one reads minds. Also he might be attracted to her open honesty. And really, what does it hurt other than her ego(which is inconsequential)?
How do I lead a woman. Please help
A husband should lead his wife. It's not about a man leading a woman :) So first step would be to get married. But before marriage, focus on yourself and develop into a godly man
What if >>shes of an unknown faith ???
Don't be stupid
@@jeanpaulgartier3404 the Word says dont be unequally yoked>>>>
@@mandolinJo well that's that then, just ask her outright. Better not to invest too much time these days
Damn you married at 22? That’s young
Yeah i totally screwed up in approaching her lmao scared her away
What happened?
@@carterbusby239 im too embarrassed to talk about it, currently not even pursuing to do this whole Christian dating stuff, i quit that a while back ago.
@@samgalloway3012 aww.. So are u going back to pursuing worldly women
MAJOR insidious pervasive problem is that men rarely purse at all today..particularly when males who are not reading the WORD and watching porn or have other addictions! I know numerous males and they are looking abroad and I believe this is because they do NOT know HOW to pursue. Why cant a guy ask a lady out for a coffee? I told many males this and they are inept with this issue. Churches teach NOTHING in regards to the process of courtship. Ladies are now looking outside the church. Mental health is a MAJOR problem today with 50% of Christians in Canada, if not more are single.
I don't think it's that. Considering the fact that we live in the metoo era and it doesn't take much for a man to lose his good standing along with all he's worked hard for just off the word of a woman's false accusation, I'd say that some are playing it smart strategically speaking.
It can't be had both ways. The sisterhood metoo stuff cannot be used as weapons against men and then turn around and wonder why they're not approaching. It's too the point now where some women believe that a man having an initial romantic attraction to a woman is disrespectful and disgusting smh.
I'd say that at this point it's up to the women who see what's going on to call their fellow "sisters" out. It's more effective coming from them being that if a man says this stuff it's seen as women bashing.
It is what it is.
@@watitdufulThanks for speaking your thoughts, but I have to say reading up on why men dont pursue is more of a mental/spiritual blindness with too many earthly desires (and females). Men dont face challenges - they run away from them. More ladies are attending self-development courses and growing in leadership than men. Men dont want to attend courses for personal and spiritual development! They are in denial and think nothing is wrong. I know many men who are in this situation in the 30's to 50s.
It is a struggle to think of staying married to someone for the 'rest of their life , not to mention other external worldly challenges, so they find substitutions to deal with this issue through internal coping skills with addictions. I heard stories from men on why they are pursuing older and wanting to be responsible is another issue. Males in this day are "believers but not followers" and then when they get older they want to settle down...with a younger lady for they are wanting to feel young and have the earthly desires and have someone take care of them. It is very unattractive when I see males who can't face their own challenges and expect that a 'healthy marriage' is going to happen with all the baggage they have. Churches need to teach practical principles starting in youth and make this a year-round teaching in the churches. Too many are confused and now expecting woman to pursue and lead!! Huge problems in the churches today!!
Women wanting men to make the first move is the same as women wanting men to cut their hair and get circumsized, it actually puts them in the leadership position and makes them the slave masters, civilizations have been cutting the hair and genitals of slaves for many millenia, since the Egyptians, the only true relationship between a man and woman is an equal one, of which women do not want to partake in because they do not feel equal, even though they will preech that they are better morally, intellectually, and even physically... Jennane.
I pursued a christian girl, guess what? she blocked me and evaded me. STORY OF MY LIFE.
Perhaps ask someone close to you what you are doing. Getting blocked often would your own fault and not women in general. Perhaps you are coming across creepy?
Hey mark, I think it’s apparent that you should be financially somewhat independent if you are serious about seeing someone. I just turned 23. But I’m curious do you remember your financial circumstance at 22 when you decided to pursue your wife?
Thank you Mark I always get something out of your teachings whether it’s for guys or girls. Guys you need to stop staring it’s creepy.
How long did you know your wife before you started dating?
30 years
Mark can you do a video - if you haven't done one already- on how to deal with or recover from rejection, when you as a guy *do* approach a Christian girl, and she rejects you flat-out. Lol (*facepalm*).
I had approached a friend a couple of years ago, just letting her know how I felt about her - and her response was "Why"?... That seemed an unusual and was an unexpected response; I remember being flustered and things were awkward after that, as I really didn't know "how" to answer that. I knew - and still know now- that I cared about her greatly and admired her, but her asking me "Why" I liked her - especially maybe kinda "confrontationally" stumped me at the time.
We're still friends now tho, and the funny thing is I find myself "feeling" for her again. But I'm almost "deadly" afraid of approaching her again - once bitten twice shy- both because of the fear of being rejected like that again; but also wondering if it's maybe not a good idea to approach her anyway, given lack of interest back then (perhaps God really doesn't intend us to date anyway).
So I'd love to know:
1) "Should" I pursue in this case? Or even just express interest?
2) HOW do I go about it in this case, if I "should";And
3) how to GET OVER the previous (or possibly future?) rejection?
Thanks.
Great question. I added the rejection question to my video list so hopefully I can do that one soon. Here's a video about pursuing a girl again after she said no once. ruclips.net/video/Vgi_ElUZHbk/видео.html
ApplyGodsWord.com/Mark Ballenger thanks Mark. Would you believe though I just found - or maybe I was "led to find- your video about the "friend zone"?? That answered many questions for me on this same issue (you can check out my comments there...). Wish I had come across these teachings a couple of years ago :). Thank you again Mark; your teaching is a blessing for men and women alike - even those older than you :)
D B I am in the same boat as you champ, I am pursuing someone discreetly and we are not close friends but I have spoken to her a little.
Just wanna ask, are you close friends with her or just only friends before you confessed to her
How do you get a Asian girl? 🤔
Asian market, China town, Chinese church, vietnameese church.
@@Kiddlekud I love you lmao
Ryan Mitchell 😂😃
This is funny 😂😂
More generic advise that I've heard time and time again that doesn't work. Everything here is just broad concepts without any real specific examples of how to convey interest. This is coming from a guy who has done one number multiple times and had been rejected 100% of the time by women so they can date the "reformed" bad boy. I'm guessing your wife is the only woman you've ever been with given the age you got married, you have no idea what it's like to be a single man in his thirties and has saved himself for marriage and being told to "Man Up" and marry a woman who hasn't.
Don't be so sure they wanted to "date the reformed bad boy." That may be a convenient cop-out. I was "pursued" by an awesome guy who seriously needed to pay more attention to his personal hygiene. A different haircut and a serious visit to his dentist could have made all the difference in the world. Yes, I tried telling him, "nicely." He wasn't picking up. Please don't think you are the only one who has "saved their self for marriage." I'm 28, have prayed for my future husband since I was 12, have developed a close relationship with the L-rd in preparation for becoming a G-dly wife, and kept myself pure. When you say "rejected 100% of the time," I think you should be looking closer to home for the problem. There ARE G-dly women out here PRAYING for G-dly men to step up to the plate
Interest is conveyed in many ways. Artists can use art. Writers write. Etc. get creative, that is part of the fun of the chase. If interest is reciprocated then I think it is safe for the man to take a step forward to ask them out. Simple enough? It’s like a dance where a man should lead. It doesn’t have to be so complex or specific because everyone is different and if you do the most loving part of you and commit extra time and care, anyone could pick up on that. There aren’t steps to this.
@Christian your story sounds similar to my small group, except most of the women are in their thirties in that situation (I'm a bit younger). Something I've noticed is those who do move forward in relationships have done serious work on themselves, they've forgiven other's pasts, they've gotten on top of basic attractive adulthood things (finances, hygiene, social skills) and they hold biblical standards for a potential partner. I.e. if someone had a crazy past, have they repented? What is their life like now? Not to gossip about them but just mental checkpoints. It's good to know yourself, it sounds like you want to find someone not previously involved, no kids. There are TONs of women like that out there, many of them watching videos like this. I'd encourage you not to give up, to keep looking and working on yourself and your relationship with God. God doesn't hold any of our pasts against us-older brother and younger brother are invited to the party alike. What makes the difference is what we do with the now!
99+% of women in our corrupt western society have sex before marriage, they dont value relationships in the way you do and your purity makes them feel their true sense of self.. dirty. Being with "reformed" bad boys allows them to feel less of a failure/dirty, it is what it is, and while alot of men will wait for marriage most women do not. This is why god made the hymen, but beware they are doing hymen reconstruction now and youll need full medical disclosure to be sure, I only say this because women understand how much a pure man values this aspect of purity, however they dont understand the reasons why we value it, they try and chalk it down to perversion, but pure men know its value goes far beyond that. Cheerish your purity, premarital sex is highly overrated by those who wish they had waited...
“ Christian girl “ means what ? With wings , . Labels 🏷 aren’t appropriate for people ...
This video is so helpful! Actually…everyone I have watched has been helpful! Can we connect via email?
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
I found this to be helpful. Thanks bro! I am thinking more about how to convey a consistent tone of conventionality, without coming on too strong. I have always been caught up on the idea that With women being more emotional, that they will be attracted to a man that is emotionally available, and I'm seeing now that I was probably emotionally overbearing to soon. I have had a couple dates that have never made it to a second date. I'm thinking now that it had something to do with being too open and vulnerable too soon. If I understand what you're saying correctly, It's that you need to find a way to make your intentions clear, without being to specific about marriage topics, but all while conveying that the possibility of marriage is the only reason your in the business of dating?
Is masturbating a sin? Mutual masturbation?