True. She's trash - these types normally only reveal their ugly faces after marriage, luckily she revealed her ugly face before the family courts can get their claws into him.
laughing your ass off alongside your buddies as soon as you were done mocking your partner doesn't seem like something that made you instantly regret anything.
That's because she didn't regret it until the husband called the behavior out (also didn't regret what she did so much as she regrets getting caught); she only said she immediately regretted it because she knew what she did was indefensible and hoped that half-apology would be enough to smooth things over. If she had genuinely felt bad right after saying it, she would have apologized for mocking him as soon as her husband asked to talk about what happened, if not apologizing the night of when she noticed his mood was off while checking in with him; she wouldn't have kept rug-sweeping what she did while trying to make her husband the bad guy for being upset, knowing full well he had a good reason to be upset.
@@myounakami Not just that, she totally lied about it when he confronted her several times. She had time to come clean with him but she shouldn't have done it in the first place.
I was waiting for him to tell her he saw that part and the laughter. That killed any "overreaction" argument and she knew it. She was actively mocking, and "instantly regretted it"? Uh, not according to the laughter OP talked about. You don't do full laughs when you "regret" something.
Yeah, I don't get this crap. I've found myself on the bully's side by accident once or twice (took a bit to recognize it as bullying at first--my "social slowness" is a curse), but as soon as I realized what I was tagging along with, I knocked off any negative commentary and cut myself off from those folks. Most never noticed anyway, so definitely not true friends or family I care to be around much. Good riddance indeed. These folks should think hard about if their significant other was in the room when they told a joke or story, would they be hurt by it? If the answer is "yes", then don't say it. It's simple, and a key to a happier relationship. Can't believe some people talk about their partner's insecurities to their friends. That should be freaking private, not fodder for gossip!
They lose partners because they are horrible people. These types of things are surface indicators of a really bad person underneath. These behaviors are the tip of a red flag iceburg.
Honestly - while the fiancee's behavior was absolutely bad, I don't think that OP is that great of a catch either. I get having insecurities (we all do) but he's absolutely pathological to the point of obsession with his, it's not healthy or normal. If this was say, a girl who had the same sort of obsession with her body image we'd be telling her to go and see a therapist because of how obviously bad this kind of mentality is, but we're all just sitting here giving OP a pass and he has the same problem.
I was so frustrated at how he didn't bring up the core issue, but as the story went on I got the feeling that the fiancée regularly played down his emotions and experience of things in their relationship. That would make anyone hesitant to bring out issues and always feel like you're overreacting. I'm glad he turned to reddit to get some courage to speak up and feel legitimized.
he sure took the long road, but it had probably been a long journey of her minimizing his emotions for most of the relationship. At least he got there.
He sits down with her & tells her how he feels about her talking with others about His Personal Feelings & what does She Do? Yup runs right out to talk about His Personal Feelings, with her girls!!! Well that talk went right over her head! Just to be fair to her, maybe her life is so Sad & Boring 💤, that she doesn't have any other subject matter to talk about? OR Her memory space is so limited that by the time she got to her friends house, she forgot that he told her his personal stuff is not open for discussion? Dump her! She has no empathy!
I do wonder if she was showing it to explain and then they laughed because it was relatable. He saw that as mocking in a childish way. Because he didn't ask about the situation directly blowing it out of proportion. But I do agree that she is downplaying his feelings on this. They seem both immature in the communication department....
she only apologised after she learned that he saw her mocking him, she never though exposing HIS insecurities to other people without his consent. and when Op have "the audacity" to ask her how she would react if HE pread her insecurities to his friend, she just got up and left she couldn't even epologise before it was too late, she hurted her fiance in his most vulnerable place and she couldn't even apologise ...
I kinda wish he just put her on blast. Just air out her insecurities on social media and in her gym. Make her quit her gym and toxic friends, learn from it, and grow. She got off too easy
@@gnhun101 exactly. She went out of her way to manipulate him. She CLEARLY knew what she did based on "is this about yesterday". She only felt bad after being caught.
The fact that Op told her that he was hurt because she shared the thing with her friends, and she immediately went and discussed with the friends again tell you everything you need to know And also is a big red flag that you can't have an argument without other people getting involved
S1: I don't really care what the insult was about. I care more that the fiance has a partner that's thoughtful enough to bring her snacks and wine while she hangs out with friends, and while he's preparing a tray for them all, she's mocking him to her friends. Her priorities are f*cked up.
That was one of my biggest problems with this. Not only should she have not been making fun of him to her friends, but she couldn't even wait until he left the house? I almost would have understood trying to work it out if she had fully owned up to it on her own. But the gaslighting and lying. Nope. Dump City it is.
Agreed, I showed this story to my girl friend, she replied for me, that if she done this I would break up with her on the spot and give her and her friends 60 seconds to get out or they would be leaving by the window, then she spent 2 hours talking about how much she loves and respects me and how lucky she is. Never take disrespect from anyone, especially your partner, this girl was in no way relationship material.
Nice guys never win. You can do nice things ONCE IN A WHILE but if you do them all the time like this doormat says he did, then you will actually be seen as weak in their eyes. You give up too much of the power and mess up the power dynamic and create an imbalance. It has to be 50/50 otherwise, it isn't a healthy relationship. Given that, this guy just proved once again why he is so weak-minded when he allow the Reddit Freaks to talk him into ending the relationship over ONE issue that, with some communication, could have been remedied. However, I also don't believe the relationship would have lasted too much longer as the dude is an insecure doormat and has issues he needs to address. He still hasn't recovered from it a year later. It's obvious she didn't see the breakup as a bad thing since he never heard from her again. Women love a sensitive nice guy for a while, but that schtick gets old, fast. They want a man to be a damn man and take charge of his 50% of the responsibility in a relationship. The old saying is, women love to marry a soy boy beta liberal so they can pay for things, do domestic chores, and take care of the kids but they want the strong Alpha Conservatives when it comes time for anything physical i.e. sex or to take charge of various situations.
@@thomasjoseph5876 she didn't respect him. I agree her lack of respect towards him meant that the relationship was doomed regardless. She probably would have found a new guy before the marriage ever happened, if she didn't already have one. After that relationship failed, she might have tried weezeling back in, but he's move twice since then to get away from her.
She isn't a life partner she just exposed herself as a fling and you don't give a fling a ring. Be happy that this happened before marriage. She let him know that its her versus him not both of them versus the world. She gave him an opportunity to know and express his boundaries and he gave her the opportunity to grow.
@@VesnaVK Wrong. She is a Fling, because no serious,loving Partner wuld be so disrespectful. I hope it becomes a Thing, so People can joke about Marriage Rushers and why they divorce shortly after. Truth hurts, but its right.
@@alucardzutain6062 by definition, a fling is fun and is not serious. This was a failed serious relationship with an awful person. Not a fun series of non-serious dates.
@@VesnaVK she isn't a horrible people, just one that lacks the deep love and respect that is needed to make a marriage work. She is just a fling, is an accurate read of the relationship.
As someone who suffers from what was eventually discovered to be stress induced hair loss, there’s just something devastating about not knowing WHY your hair is falling out thinning and or a bald spot becoming bigger and bigger. You have this feeling of helplessness, and if anyone mocked me or downplayed it, I don’t know if I would ever be able to forgive them.
Absolutely right. Anyone mocking someone over that is just nasty, and nasty in general. I think if she wasn't mocking him over this it would be over something else. She's a bad seed and he would have been in a miserable marriage with her. Anyone who would mock something like that is just a bad, nasty person.
Having something similar happen to me. Someone said something mean to me about it and I thought about it for like.. DAYS. Especially because I have VERY thick hair that hairstylists fawn over. Watching piles and piles of it collect in the drain way faster than they should just gives you this sinking feeling. Have yet to discover what’s causing it.
@@leilagotspaz It may be stress, believe it or not. My ex from a years ago has a wonderful, full head of long hair: a coin-sized bald spot once appeared on the back of her head, but it all grew back again within months: it was stress.
Some people can't stand down and admit they're wrong, even if it means they lose the very relationship they're trying to save. I'll bet she's been busy trashing him to all her friends ever since.
@@thatoneguy9816 In a good relationship, people share their insecurities in order to understand each other because closing each other off doesn't allow for love to grow. The issue is, some people are too self-centred to have compassion for and protect their partners. When you meet the right person, they will make you feel safe and that's an awesome feeling.
@@thatoneguy9816 What's even the point of having a life partner you're supposed to be intimate with if you can't even be emotionally intimate with them???
@@AwolCommander No, she absolutely is. Gaslighting is when someone downplays your own experience and says you are wrong about things you saw with your own eyes. She's doing exactly that by saying OP is wrong and it's not a big deal like it absolutely is, and saying his hair product isn't missing when it is.
The way she walked out as a power play, went to gossip more with her friends and then THOSE friends message him? The immaturity, the mean girl energy. Be away with all those people.
From a womens perspective I thought “girls say way worse things about their partners when gossiping because it’s a safe space!” And then I thought deeper and thought it is JUST as bad saying your girlfriend is fat to your friends and it helped me realize that no matter the gender it is never okay to be disrespectful to anyone. I am learning that girl boss isn’t being mean it is learning to respect everybody. It helped me reflect on the double standards because I thought he was sensitive but I was wrong because it’s about boundaries, trust and most importantly respect.
Story 1: It's astonishing to me how people can insult their partner and mock something about them that they're clearly uncomfortable about and still expect to be in a relationship after. If it's like, A Thing where you tease/make fun of each other in a joking way that you're _both_ okay with, then that's fine as long as you don't cross any lines. But that's not what's happening here. He's doing all these nice things for her, things she didn't ask him to do but he did anyway because he _loves_ her, all while she's busy making him and his insecurities/struggles the punchline of her little "jokes". That's not someone I'd want to stay with. Edit: It's so funny how she's talking about "breaking the stigma" and how "it's normal" and shit meanwhile she was using that same stigma as a tool to mock him to her friends. She literally has no clue Op saw her and knowing what she did vs what she's claiming she did really goes to show how much of a _massive_ hypocrite she is. Edit 2: "I regretted it immediately" Oh yes, laughing hysterically then lying through your teeth to your husband about what was said, getting pissy and leaving the house cause he wouldn't just drop it, and sicking your friends on him so you can feel validated about what you said and did just _screams_ total regret. Definitely the vibes we got from you this whole story. /s
OP was too nice to her, doing all those things for her, she figured she could walk all over him. Props to OP for having enough self respect to walk away.
omg, I knew my first relationship was over when he started making comments on parts of my body that he knew I was self-conscious about. Glad to hear OP got outta that.
Nothing shows a person true character as the way they behave around their friends . There was only one action that op could do. Never accept disrespect from your girlfriend/wife. She absolutely knew she was in the wrong .
On TOP of being too prideful to apologize for being an AH, because take out the mocking for a second, she's still an AH for talking about HIS insecurity without HIS consent, while she was doing it, he was preparing snacks and wine for them hanging out without being asked. He was thoughtful, she was thoughtless.
It was forgivable IF she had taken responsibility and apologized. Instead she took every measure to cover up her tracks. "You're overreeacting," "It's not that big if a deal," classic DARVO. Talking to friends for peer pressure. Then when she was cornered she fessed up. Not because she felt bad, but because there was no way out. Not spouse material with that immaturity issue.
I started losing my hair in my late 20s as well. My family. on my paternal side had a history of male pattern baldness. So, instead of trying to fight it , I decided to embrace it. On my 30th birthday I shaved my head. I have been completely bald even since. And I rock it!
Good for you! Dad started going bald a *lot* sooner, and without the definite history. His attitude was basically, "Cool. *Testosterone.* " He also likes to mention that he's *never* been carded. Even when he really *should* have been!
I think OP's family stopped remarking about his hair loss because they started wondering why no other male in the family had it. It makes you kind of wonder what would the end result be if OP perhaps got a DNA test done???
@@susanmullen7398 Yes, many do. I am willing to bet more would rather have their man shave it all off rather than having a receding hair line whether partial or one of those mostly bald on top with just the sides having hair, look. I always said if my hairline started receding (some of my relatives do/did experience this, some didn't), then I would shave it all off and probably grow my goatee longer than it currently is (it's currently "business short"). And just for sh*ts and giggles, before I would shave it all off, I would have it cut into the chick magnet, "business in the front, party in the back", Billy Ray Cyrus Mullet for a month or two LOL.
Fuck yeah! My first proper boyfriend was going bald when he was in highschool but kept his once glorious mullet. By being kind and gentle about his hair choice and mentioning that "chrome dome with wild on the sides" is a classic composer look...he finally cut it after 5 years. He looks awesome. And yeah it's high testosterone that causes balding young. I mean joe Rogan sucks that stuff down and hes as smooth as the last pickled egg in the barrel
I think the ex-fiance had him in the ropes until he showed her that he saw her mocking his hairline. 👀 Oopsie! She was going to rug sweep that thing into the floor boards.
People are saying he was wrong not to bring it up from the beginning but I see it as a pro move. Even tho he was still a bit in the fog from being with her manipulations and mind games for three years. He knocked the last leg out of her stool and then left her. He did great.
Hot take: OP should flip the script. Mock some aspect of the fiancee's body behind her back. See how it suddenly becomes a very big deal for her! She's showing her true colours, that she has no respect for OP. What is the point of her? Out with the trash she goes. After skimming the updates: Holy crap this 2-faced beyotch was spewing every manipulation and excuse in the book! I don't believe for one nanosecond her turnaround was sincere, she's only sorry she got busted. So glad OP got rid of her.
We know very little of the situation. We have one perspective. And as much as I feel OP was right to cut her out and chose his own wellbeing, I feel if he had lowered himself like you suggest they would deserve each other.
@@WobblesandBean Oh I'm not suggesting OP actually do that, more of a rhetorical question. Besides if his friends are good people, they'd lose respect for him. She sure as hell isn't worth that. Good riddance to her.
The part that gets me about story 1 is a very specific detail: He asks how she would react to him talking about her insecurities with his friends, and rather than admitting he's right, or apologising, she immediately left, and on return kept playing like he was in the wrong. That was her last chance, once that detail came up and she still stood her ground it was clear that the only options were either breaking up or couple's therapy.
She knew she effed up and she took off for a little bit of "female backup" to give her assurance she isn't the "baddie". When she got back and he pointed out the mocking and told her it was over, she didn't even put up a fight and knew it was game over for her.
Exactly. I also thought it was telling that she only brought out the tears when OP actually told her that he saw and heard her mocking him to her friends. She wasn't upset or sad before. She had no problem trying to tell OP how wrong he was and never gave a shit about his pain or feelings. And the "talk" they had after that may have been genuine, but to me it just seemed like damage control on her part to keep OP from dumping her. The fact that she was so quick to enlist her friends to argue for her to OP after she just walked away from the argument tells me all I need to know about what kind of person she is (in addition to all the gaslighting). Good riddance to her. Maybe she will grow up and be better. I wish OP the best and hope he will have more self respect in the future to avoid people like this.
@@jaymel4691 It just goes to show you, people who are narcissistic and manipulating realize when they know they are wrong or do something wrong, will trickle truth just like a cheater will.
The OP was kind of a doormat the entire time, but holy hell the GF played him perfectly. Storming out in the middle of bringing up your emotions is how you'd get me to never let you back in
Good for the OP for dumping this toxic person. She obviously thought less of the OP to make fun of him behind his back and to downplay his feelings to his face. Good for him for moving on with his life and enjoying it. It is always surprising how many people jump right into a new relationship after ending one.
I’m absolutely shocked he ended it when he did. Thrilled that he did, but shocked he had the guts to do it in the moment. I really thought he was going to take whatever lie she told him. Good for him.
I mean, discussing someone’s insecurities without their consent is a pretty shitty thing to do in general, but the mocking was the straw that broke the camels back. This would be a deal breaker for me as well and actually was for my last relationship. I’m really happy to read OP stood up for himself. She was so wrong in this
I get it was shitty that she discussed this with the friend, but I don't see where the mocking is. I tried "pulling my forehead back" and it does nothing. In my opinion, the fact that she was so casual talking about it means that for her it doesn't matter that much that he is bolding and that should make him happy. If this is the only thing that was wrong with a 3 year relationship, I wouldn't end it directly. And the fact that she spike with her friends is normal. She was actually asking if she might.have been wrong, especially since they were present when it happened. He's doing it by asking reddit if he's overreacting, but she's the one who's wrong? I also didn't like the fact that he yelled at her. They weren't a good fit anyway..I think OP's insecurities are so great that he was afraid that she was going to dump him sooner or later and decided this was the sign. Because in the first part he was talking about her like she was the popular girl in school and he was the nerd.
@@jadedjane6241 She knew she effed up as evidenced by the way she simply walked out when he said it was over. It's not like they were simply dating, they were engaged to be married. You would think she would put up some sort of a fight, but she didn't. She knew she crossed a serious boundary and it was rightfully, game over for her.
@@jadedjane6241 you don't see the big picture here. You propably have insecurities as well. Now imagine your partner sharing them with friends, laughing while doing that. Is that marriage material?
@@ps9501 as I said, she was an AH for doing this. But if that was the only thing that was wrong in 3 years, I would give her the benefit of yhe doubt and do some couple counseling. Someone that is cruel and doesn't care would do way more things that would bother me. A lot of the people on Reddit see a pattern in hindsight and this hasn't happened with OP.
@@jadedjane6241 You still don't see it. She was trashing him when he was literally in the same building. Now imagine, at least in his head; what else she is talking behind your back when he isn't around? this was the first time when she was CAUGHT. There are people who have been cheating for 10 years and finally got caught. So your argument was silly that "oh this was the first time" Huge betrayal like that opens up whole can of worms.
Mocking you to her friends is a betrayal of trust. You trust your partner to have your back, to defend you. Instead she betrayed you and told your insecurities and bullied you. That’s not a partner, that’s a rival.
Proud of this OP for standing his ground and doing what he needed in the face of everyone in his real life trying to downplay him say he was in the wrong
The mocking, surprisingly, wasn't the worst part of it but the gaslighting. I hate nothing more than when people turn it on you and make you feel wrong for feeling the way you feel. Screw right off.
That friend that went 'how insecure are you?' Like.... that was the entire point! Very insecure! Which is exactly why it was wrong! And the fiancé how she reacted, knowing full well she had mocked him and still putting the blame on him, pretending like she hadn't done anything wrong. Like ooff, the audacity. The moment when she was confronted with it she knew she had f-ed up. Honestly... glad she got dumped and hope she learned a lesson for the future.
We talk about abuse more and more these days, recognising signs, not tolerating all kinds of behaviour .. but so often men are not included in this and told that they can be victims too and it should never be tolerated. She mocked his biggest insecurity, lied about it, gaslighted, stormed out to set her friends on him, then gaslighted again .. appalling behaviour. It was a relief when he finally posted it was over.
I think fiancée's actions were forgivable if she hadn't 1. brushed aside his feelings and 2. effectively lied by pretending she didn't mock him. She was going to carry on like it was no big deal until he revealed what he saw. Once he was forced to bring that up to get her to seriously consider his feelings, the relationship was done. On top of that, reaching back to the same friends she'd mocked him in front of for validation shows just how horrible she is. OP dodged a bullet. If he'd forgiven her and moved past it, I'm almost certain the whole situation would just be another joke between her and her friends.
Damn, OP's ex has that gaslighting down pat. As someone dealing with hair loss, I was pissed off for OP. Honestly I feel like the relationship could have been saved if she didn't leave and start sharing more of his stuff with her friends. That was it for me: Do you want her friends to have a front row seat in your relationship.
As my bald friend told me - a person who will never lose his locks- “women find bald men attractive. Women do not find balding men attractive.” It is actually 100% true. Then it made me look at combover men in a new light.
I agree. I much prefer balding men just shave their whole head. It’s their hair and they can do what they want, unless it’s a combover lol. 😅. I’m kidding of course.
It's called body shaming and if he mocked an aspect of her appearance Reddit would be up in arms telling her to call off the wedding: let's see if the amateur psychologists of reddit are going to tell him it's just his "insecurity". EDIT: Pleasantly surprised at the comments, even 'though OP still refers to it as his "insecurity" instead of her nasty and 2-faced nature. Interesting how she walked out and got her friends after him when he asked her how she'd feel with reversed roles. Get rid of her, OP. She's a bad seed.
It being an insecurity and her being nasty and 2-faced aren't mutually exclusive. If anything, her being willing to take advantage of his insecurity like that makes her *worse.*
Dude calm your tits. He’s going to have to find a way to accept his hair loss or let it drive him crazy. Yes his girlfriend shouldn’t have made fun of him. So that makes her an ahole but he needs to come to terms with his receding hair. There is no cure for baldness so either shave his hair off, wear a wig or come up with the funds to pay for some hair plugs.
OP gained more respect from her friends by not being a doormat. They tried to bully him, but failed. The other husband should be wondering what his wife has been saying about him.
My (38F) ex-wife has taken the habit of telling all my issues (I had a massive breakdown at this time) to her best friend. Over, and over even after arguments and explanations. It was one of the reasons for our divorce...
This is just so sad. This guy was just so happy to be able to play games by himself, was being so nice and buying stuff for his fiance and her friends to snack on, so you can tell just by the way he talks he's a hard worker who puts others above himself, takes joy in the smaller things in life, and sounds like a really kind guy. Yet, still, his fiance doesnt hesitate to shit on him like that, and to have such a low opinion of him. If you're going to bully and verbally/emotionally abuse someone, just leave them so they can find someone who won't do that to them, that's ridiculous.
Well...He certainly got his answer when the (now ex)girlfriend left after he asked how she would like it he talked about her insecurities with his friends, that being she wouldn't. And it really shouldn't have been needed for Op to ask that. Op was very clear in his words of "As your partner, it hurts me to know your talking about this with your friends behind my back." And instead of actually trying to understand her partners feeling, she kept on passing the blame to him until he had said he saw what she had did, and probably knew that nothing she could do was ever going to fix it. She honestly sound too immature for any romantic relationship. And kinda manipulative.
I'm calling BS on even the idea that, at any point, she showed her friends the product he uses in good faith. It sounds plausible until you remember that none of them have worked yet. so why would she recommend a product that doesn't work?
Woop!!👏👏👏👏👏👏 nice one OP I wasn't expecting his spine to show up so shiny and stron after the time it took to confront her! I hated how she tried to make it his fault!
Once she walked out of the conversation that relationship was dead. Then she went on to make it worse by talking to her friends about the exact issue he was upset then mad about. I do wonder why J’s husband contacted him 6 months later. It had to make him think about his own marriage, after finding out his wife had no problem involving herself and helping end someone else’s relationship.
You don't ever mock your SO to your friends or family. This is a hard and fast rule. If you demean someone to others and allow others to do so then you will start to hold your SO in contempt; and that's a relationship killer.
I had a drama teacher in high school who had thin hair on top. He was the sweetest, and funniest little old man. He kept a poster in his office window that said, "God created a few perfect heads, all the others he covered with hair." It's a shame how much emphasis our societies place on outward appearance. In the end, we all die and rot the same way, and nobody will remember you for your looks, but the compassion, kindness, and empathy you show to them. Mocking someone with hair loss is body shaming!
I'm gonna be honest, I was actually getting mad at the OP in the first half of the update because he kept not mentioning the part where she was mocking him. Like dude, start with that forehead part first, THEN talk about how the whole thing hurt your feelings.
But if he'd done that, he wouldn't have been able to see how much she was willing to lie to him while trying to downplay the problem. If he'd gone straight for the key issue she might have went straight to the fake apology and maybe he'd have fell for it.
@@diamondmx3076 this, I've been manipulated before. If I felt like i was dealing with someone who was doing that I would not reveal key info until they have dug their position in. She knew what she had done and was willing to try and manipulate him at every possible turn.
I don't know why people don't do immediate confrontations. Imagine the look on their faces and the "sorrys" that would have taken place if he had simply walked into the room as she was doing her mocking of him while showing her hairline. I would have walked in, looked at her, and said, go pack your shit while I escort your friends out.
The fact that the ex-fiance was downplaying what OP heard until the truth of what was actually said was brought up. Tells you that OP partner is not trustworthy and will downplay any situation that shows her in a bad light.
Agreed, I would of broke up with her just for the did honesty let alone the mocking, If I heard that from my partner they all would of been out the door within 60 seconds with a pick up of her things the next day.
She turned to her friends to see if she was wrong or not…and wasn’t surprised when they backed her up??? OF COURSE her friends are going to back her up and say she’s in the right. “Think Mark!” As for the hairline? I had the same issue when I was around 19-20 years old. Didn’t use any product but kept it until it just didn’t look right anymore and shaved it bald at 25. I’ll bic it every once in awhile but usually a pair of Wahl clippers without a guard works just as well. It’s a thought?
I have Alopecia, which is basically spotted hairloss. When I went to a dermatologist and realized What I had, My husband supported me nonstop because he knew it hurt my sense of self worth, and never said anything to hurt my feelings. He even helped me do hairstyles that would cover it and just be generally supportive of everything I did. I couldn’t imagine going through the same thing that this man did but I am so happy he found himself!
Jeez. I got "Mean Girl" vibes about the fiancé all throughout the story. My mind kept screaming as I was reading, "Tell her about the mocking!" The problem wasn't the sharing of products and the information. It was the high school clique mocking that was the problem.
How cruel & childish can exfiance be? The fact that she doubled down makes it so much worse. I bet if he had brought up HER insecurities (weight, cellulite, bust size, acme, teeth- whatever) she'd have lost it. At least he got out before he married a middle school bully. I mean if she'd do that to her SO, who wouldn't she do this too
Women say they want men to show their emotions, but when they do, the men are seen as weak. OP said she was a popular girl at the gym. Popular people think they can say and do whatever they want and everyone will be OK with it.
This entire debacle was ridiculous. First, no one should ever tolerate their SO sharing their insecurities with others. To add the mockery on top of it was just far too much. Then when OP actually spoke to her, she doubled down and went back to talking about it all with her friends again, who then harassed OP. What is it with some people that can’t respect the privacy and dignity of their SO?
NTA you do not share nor joke about your partner insecurities with anyone! I’m so happy op grew a back bone and dumped her because she’s a shit partner.
To get back at gf ask her if you were to tell all your buddies that her "kitty stinks"how would she like it,cause if she does it again that's what going to happen to her,fight fire with fire!!p.s.dont eat the kitty anymore she'll wonder why just mess with her head,make her a basket case!!
🤣🤦♀️🤣🤦♀️. Heard this one when u released it, autoplay decided I needed to relisten & autoplay was right. I was drawing my new idea for a fabric design (stag beetles & oyster mushrooms in a damask) so wasn’t listening too hard, well, I was CERTAIN you said “Beyoncé mocked my hair loss in front of all her friends” and I was like, daaamn, that sucks. It still sucks of course, but imagine getting roasted by Beyoncé on Instagram or something. 😅🤷♀️
i hate that people fight you when they know they did something wrong and don't want to apologise until they run out of excuses and look too guilty not to
The hair thing on its own and even the mocking part on it's own shouldn't be enough to break up over (everyone makes mistakes, especially when it comes to pushing the envelope a little too far to impress their friends) but the way she handled the aftermath raised more red flags than China. Belittling O.P's feelings, walking out in the middle of a serious discussion instead of hearing O.P. out only to then come back and try to gaslight O.P. .She has shown that she can't be trusted by O.P., she is unwilling to learn from her mistakes and she is quite manipulative putting her self interests well above that of O.P's. O.P. is honestly pretty lucky that he was gifted with such a clear litmus test of how the relationship would have ended up going forward. Poking fun at a someone you care about while they are around is one thing as long as you don't over do it. They can then be in on the joke and give feedback if it is cool or not to do that. But doing it while they are not around will slowly erode your sense of value in that person and will erode trust between you and that person and can erode the trust even everyone who heard you make the joke ("If this is what they say when that person isn't around, what do they say when I'm not around?).
Good for him. At least there was some closure for him and the ex and J took some accountability for their actions. Hopefully the girls will learn from this so they don't repeat it. I hope that OP grows accustomed to his hair loss so he doesn't have insecurities about in the future. Can't fight nature.
I wouldn't have waited and stewed on it if my partner ridiculed me in that fashion. I'd have barged right on into the room and taken care of it. I have plenty of insecurities, but being a bitch when needed isn't one of them.
Idk why it’s so hard to just say sorry and not belittle your partner when they’re talking about something that hurts them. Also major red flags: she immediately leaves when she knows she’s in the wrong, she tells her partner their valid feelings are an overreaction, she sent her friend after him, who knows how else she’s mocked him behind his back.
I understand why he vacillate with is this enough to break up. Disrespect is a tough thing, because it’s not a “surface” thing, it always comes from the heart. She had no boundary in mocking his hair loss even knowing how he felt about it. No trouble laughing about with her friends, no trouble lying about doing it(by omission when talking). No trouble at all dismissing his feelings when she knew she laughed about them. As far as breaking up goes, obviously it was the right thing to do, you’ve moved on fairly easily and she has never tried to contact you. Her validation with friends conveniently skips over the mocking and laugh part.
OP'S girlfriend is going to gaslight him through their relationship. If she feels shitty for doing something it is probably because it was a shitty thing to do. I cannot see a relationship with someone like this working out, especially not when she gets her friends involved to attack her partner.
I know that all these stories about relationships (my guilty pleasure btw) doesn’t depict women as a whole. However, as a 20 year old, it makes me really not want to be in a relationship cause it seems that a lot of people out here just aren’t mature enough to consider their partners in a proper relationship, which is what I want. It’s sad, but hopefully a nice person can change my mind on that in the future.
The Fiancé could’ve saved the Relationship but she had to Leave mid argument and get her friends involved. That was the final nail. She and her friends may have genuinely apologized even from the bottom of their hearts, but the Damage has been done.
Also, hair transplants may not stop the hair the shedding, so ask a specialist about PRP injections, and your physician about RX supplements. Best Wishes
All the emotions that you felt are the same responses you would have with bullying…guilt and shame…I am so sorry that this happened to you by someone who you trusted..
My boyfriend would never, EVER, do what OP's girlfriend did to him, and likewise I would never do anything like that to him. How can you claim to love someone who you act so cruelly to? OP, leave her. You deserve so much better than her.
![Felix "Unfair" | [Stray Kids : SKZ-PLAYER]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/Oswujxm2Ag0/mqdefault.jpg)
He complains about her sharing his insecurities and then she goes ahead and does it some more, yup time to dump her.
True. She's trash - these types normally only reveal their ugly faces after marriage, luckily she revealed her ugly face before the family courts can get their claws into him.
Yep
She literally doubled down I was so pissed when the friend texted him really
Well the wife fufo'd
laughing your ass off alongside your buddies as soon as you were done mocking your partner doesn't seem like something that made you instantly regret anything.
You sound like a bitch boi too
typical female heard behavior, most are followers and if one in the group does one thing they all follow.
That's because she didn't regret it until the husband called the behavior out (also didn't regret what she did so much as she regrets getting caught); she only said she immediately regretted it because she knew what she did was indefensible and hoped that half-apology would be enough to smooth things over. If she had genuinely felt bad right after saying it, she would have apologized for mocking him as soon as her husband asked to talk about what happened, if not apologizing the night of when she noticed his mood was off while checking in with him; she wouldn't have kept rug-sweeping what she did while trying to make her husband the bad guy for being upset, knowing full well he had a good reason to be upset.
@@myounakami Not just that, she totally lied about it when he confronted her several times. She had time to come clean with him but she shouldn't have done it in the first place.
I was waiting for him to tell her he saw that part and the laughter. That killed any "overreaction" argument and she knew it. She was actively mocking, and "instantly regretted it"? Uh, not according to the laughter OP talked about. You don't do full laughs when you "regret" something.
These people lose great partners trying to impress juvenile "friends"... Good riddance to bad rubbish. Glad OP is okay
Yeah, I don't get this crap. I've found myself on the bully's side by accident once or twice (took a bit to recognize it as bullying at first--my "social slowness" is a curse), but as soon as I realized what I was tagging along with, I knocked off any negative commentary and cut myself off from those folks. Most never noticed anyway, so definitely not true friends or family I care to be around much. Good riddance indeed.
These folks should think hard about if their significant other was in the room when they told a joke or story, would they be hurt by it? If the answer is "yes", then don't say it. It's simple, and a key to a happier relationship. Can't believe some people talk about their partner's insecurities to their friends. That should be freaking private, not fodder for gossip!
They lose partners because they are horrible people. These types of things are surface indicators of a really bad person underneath. These behaviors are the tip of a red flag iceburg.
Honestly - while the fiancee's behavior was absolutely bad, I don't think that OP is that great of a catch either. I get having insecurities (we all do) but he's absolutely pathological to the point of obsession with his, it's not healthy or normal. If this was say, a girl who had the same sort of obsession with her body image we'd be telling her to go and see a therapist because of how obviously bad this kind of mentality is, but we're all just sitting here giving OP a pass and he has the same problem.
@@jjm152 Simp alert!
@@dinkyd1533 wtf are you even talking about?
I was so frustrated at how he didn't bring up the core issue, but as the story went on I got the feeling that the fiancée regularly played down his emotions and experience of things in their relationship. That would make anyone hesitant to bring out issues and always feel like you're overreacting. I'm glad he turned to reddit to get some courage to speak up and feel legitimized.
textbook gaslighting from her, I was so mad on his behalf.
he sure took the long road, but it had probably been a long journey of her minimizing his emotions for most of the relationship. At least he got there.
He sits down with her & tells her how he feels about her talking with others about His Personal Feelings & what does She Do? Yup runs right out to talk about His Personal Feelings, with her girls!!! Well that talk went right over her head!
Just to be fair to her, maybe her life is so Sad & Boring 💤, that she doesn't have any other subject matter to talk about? OR Her memory space is so limited that by the time she got to her friends house, she forgot that he told her his personal stuff is not open for discussion? Dump her! She has no empathy!
@@marshawargo7238 Because even grown Women can act like immature Teenagers.
This "Woman" is not ready for Relationships in General.
I do wonder if she was showing it to explain and then they laughed because it was relatable. He saw that as mocking in a childish way. Because he didn't ask about the situation directly blowing it out of proportion. But I do agree that she is downplaying his feelings on this. They seem both immature in the communication department....
she only apologised after she learned that he saw her mocking him, she never though exposing HIS insecurities to other people without his consent.
and when Op have "the audacity" to ask her how she would react if HE pread her insecurities to his friend, she just got up and left
she couldn't even epologise before it was too late, she hurted her fiance in his most vulnerable place and she couldn't even apologise ...
She didn’t just leave the conversation, she sent flying monkeys after OP.
I kinda wish he just put her on blast. Just air out her insecurities on social media and in her gym. Make her quit her gym and toxic friends, learn from it, and grow. She got off too easy
@@gnhun101 exactly. She went out of her way to manipulate him. She CLEARLY knew what she did based on "is this about yesterday". She only felt bad after being caught.
The fact that Op told her that he was hurt because she shared the thing with her friends, and she immediately went and discussed with the friends again tell you everything you need to know
And also is a big red flag that you can't have an argument without other people getting involved
"let me go fo the very thing you just told me upsets you.
You're still upset? That's weird "
S1: I don't really care what the insult was about. I care more that the fiance has a partner that's thoughtful enough to bring her snacks and wine while she hangs out with friends, and while he's preparing a tray for them all, she's mocking him to her friends. Her priorities are f*cked up.
That was one of my biggest problems with this. Not only should she have not been making fun of him to her friends, but she couldn't even wait until he left the house? I almost would have understood trying to work it out if she had fully owned up to it on her own. But the gaslighting and lying. Nope. Dump City it is.
@@ynmonroe Dropped like the "Enola Gay" dropped "Little Boy" over Hiroshima.
Agreed, I showed this story to my girl friend, she replied for me, that if she done this I would break up with her on the spot and give her and her friends 60 seconds to get out or they would be leaving by the window, then she spent 2 hours talking about how much she loves and respects me and how lucky she is.
Never take disrespect from anyone, especially your partner, this girl was in no way relationship material.
Nice guys never win. You can do nice things ONCE IN A WHILE but if you do them all the time like this doormat says he did, then you will actually be seen as weak in their eyes. You give up too much of the power and mess up the power dynamic and create an imbalance. It has to be 50/50 otherwise, it isn't a healthy relationship.
Given that, this guy just proved once again why he is so weak-minded when he allow the Reddit Freaks to talk him into ending the relationship over ONE issue that, with some communication, could have been remedied. However, I also don't believe the relationship would have lasted too much longer as the dude is an insecure doormat and has issues he needs to address. He still hasn't recovered from it a year later. It's obvious she didn't see the breakup as a bad thing since he never heard from her again.
Women love a sensitive nice guy for a while, but that schtick gets old, fast. They want a man to be a damn man and take charge of his 50% of the responsibility in a relationship. The old saying is, women love to marry a soy boy beta liberal so they can pay for things, do domestic chores, and take care of the kids but they want the strong Alpha Conservatives when it comes time for anything physical i.e. sex or to take charge of various situations.
@@thomasjoseph5876 she didn't respect him. I agree her lack of respect towards him meant that the relationship was doomed regardless. She probably would have found a new guy before the marriage ever happened, if she didn't already have one. After that relationship failed, she might have tried weezeling back in, but he's move twice since then to get away from her.
She isn't a life partner she just exposed herself as a fling and you don't give a fling a ring. Be happy that this happened before marriage. She let him know that its her versus him not both of them versus the world. She gave him an opportunity to know and express his boundaries and he gave her the opportunity to grow.
You don't give a fling a ring! I looooove that lol😁😄
I seriously hope don't give a fling a ring doesn't become a thing. It has nothing to do with what happened, just because it rhymes.
@@VesnaVK Wrong. She is a Fling, because no serious,loving Partner wuld be so disrespectful.
I hope it becomes a Thing, so People can joke about Marriage Rushers and why they divorce shortly after. Truth hurts, but its right.
@@alucardzutain6062 by definition, a fling is fun and is not serious. This was a failed serious relationship with an awful person. Not a fun series of non-serious dates.
@@VesnaVK she isn't a horrible people, just one that lacks the deep love and respect that is needed to make a marriage work. She is just a fling, is an accurate read of the relationship.
As someone who suffers from what was eventually discovered to be stress induced hair loss, there’s just something devastating about not knowing WHY your hair is falling out thinning and or a bald spot becoming bigger and bigger. You have this feeling of helplessness, and if anyone mocked me or downplayed it, I don’t know if I would ever be able to forgive them.
Infinessia if you ever need to talk, my social media is in my channel linked
Infinessia if you ever need to talk, my social media is in my channel linked
Absolutely right. Anyone mocking someone over that is just nasty, and nasty in general. I think if she wasn't mocking him over this it would be over something else. She's a bad seed and he would have been in a miserable marriage with her. Anyone who would mock something like that is just a bad, nasty person.
Having something similar happen to me. Someone said something mean to me about it and I thought about it for like.. DAYS. Especially because I have VERY thick hair that hairstylists fawn over. Watching piles and piles of it collect in the drain way faster than they should just gives you this sinking feeling. Have yet to discover what’s causing it.
@@leilagotspaz It may be stress, believe it or not. My ex from a years ago has a wonderful, full head of long hair: a coin-sized bald spot once appeared on the back of her head, but it all grew back again within months: it was stress.
She was just really deadset on trying to gaslight the hell out of him, trying to shoot him down at any chance she got.
Some people can't stand down and admit they're wrong, even if it means they lose the very relationship they're trying to save. I'll bet she's been busy trashing him to all her friends ever since.
I dated this exact same woman! I told her my insecurities, and suddenly they were used against me. Get rid of this trash from your life.
That was your first mistake. Don’t share insecurities or past problems.
@@thatoneguy9816 In a good relationship, people share their insecurities in order to understand each other because closing each other off doesn't allow for love to grow. The issue is, some people are too self-centred to have compassion for and protect their partners. When you meet the right person, they will make you feel safe and that's an awesome feeling.
@@thatoneguy9816 What's even the point of having a life partner you're supposed to be intimate with if you can't even be emotionally intimate with them???
@@Azulakayes and how many marriages end in divorce again?
@@damien678 How many marriages end in divorce again?
I would leave her. She is waving your insecurity as a flag to entertain her friends. This is indicative of her character. Smh.
I honestly think she’s gaslighting him, maybe I’m overthinking it though
Not just that, those friends are absolute trash.
@@AwolCommander No, she absolutely is. Gaslighting is when someone downplays your own experience and says you are wrong about things you saw with your own eyes. She's doing exactly that by saying OP is wrong and it's not a big deal like it absolutely is, and saying his hair product isn't missing when it is.
The way she walked out as a power play, went to gossip more with her friends and then THOSE friends message him? The immaturity, the mean girl energy. Be away with all those people.
From a womens perspective I thought “girls say way worse things about their partners when gossiping because it’s a safe space!” And then I thought deeper and thought it is JUST as bad saying your girlfriend is fat to your friends and it helped me realize that no matter the gender it is never okay to be disrespectful to anyone. I am learning that girl boss isn’t being mean it is learning to respect everybody. It helped me reflect on the double standards because I thought he was sensitive but I was wrong because it’s about boundaries, trust and most importantly respect.
Story 1: It's astonishing to me how people can insult their partner and mock something about them that they're clearly uncomfortable about and still expect to be in a relationship after. If it's like, A Thing where you tease/make fun of each other in a joking way that you're _both_ okay with, then that's fine as long as you don't cross any lines. But that's not what's happening here.
He's doing all these nice things for her, things she didn't ask him to do but he did anyway because he _loves_ her, all while she's busy making him and his insecurities/struggles the punchline of her little "jokes". That's not someone I'd want to stay with.
Edit: It's so funny how she's talking about "breaking the stigma" and how "it's normal" and shit meanwhile she was using that same stigma as a tool to mock him to her friends. She literally has no clue Op saw her and knowing what she did vs what she's claiming she did really goes to show how much of a _massive_ hypocrite she is.
Edit 2: "I regretted it immediately" Oh yes, laughing hysterically then lying through your teeth to your husband about what was said, getting pissy and leaving the house cause he wouldn't just drop it, and sicking your friends on him so you can feel validated about what you said and did just _screams_ total regret. Definitely the vibes we got from you this whole story. /s
OP was too nice to her, doing all those things for her, she figured she could walk all over him. Props to OP for having enough self respect to walk away.
Exactly, she is a horrible person
omg, I knew my first relationship was over when he started making comments on parts of my body that he knew I was self-conscious about. Glad to hear OP got outta that.
Nothing shows a person true character as the way they behave around their friends . There was only one action that op could do. Never accept disrespect from your girlfriend/wife. She absolutely knew she was in the wrong .
On TOP of being too prideful to apologize for being an AH, because take out the mocking for a second, she's still an AH for talking about HIS insecurity without HIS consent, while she was doing it, he was preparing snacks and wine for them hanging out without being asked. He was thoughtful, she was thoughtless.
It was forgivable IF she had taken responsibility and apologized. Instead she took every measure to cover up her tracks. "You're overreeacting," "It's not that big if a deal," classic DARVO. Talking to friends for peer pressure. Then when she was cornered she fessed up. Not because she felt bad, but because there was no way out. Not spouse material with that immaturity issue.
She admitted she was wrong ONLY when called out for the motion she did. Wow.
I started losing my hair in my late 20s as well. My family. on my paternal side had a history of male pattern baldness. So, instead of trying to fight it , I decided to embrace it. On my 30th birthday I shaved my head. I have been completely bald even since. And I rock it!
Good for you! Dad started going bald a *lot* sooner, and without the definite history. His attitude was basically, "Cool. *Testosterone.* " He also likes to mention that he's *never* been carded. Even when he really *should* have been!
I think OP's family stopped remarking about his hair loss because they started wondering why no other male in the family had it. It makes you kind of wonder what would the end result be if OP perhaps got a DNA test done???
I love a bald confident guy. I find it attractive. Many women do
@@susanmullen7398 Yes, many do. I am willing to bet more would rather have their man shave it all off rather than having a receding hair line whether partial or one of those mostly bald on top with just the sides having hair, look.
I always said if my hairline started receding (some of my relatives do/did experience this, some didn't), then I would shave it all off and probably grow my goatee longer than it currently is (it's currently "business short").
And just for sh*ts and giggles, before I would shave it all off, I would have it cut into the chick magnet, "business in the front, party in the back", Billy Ray Cyrus Mullet for a month or two LOL.
Fuck yeah! My first proper boyfriend was going bald when he was in highschool but kept his once glorious mullet. By being kind and gentle about his hair choice and mentioning that "chrome dome with wild on the sides" is a classic composer look...he finally cut it after 5 years. He looks awesome. And yeah it's high testosterone that causes balding young. I mean joe Rogan sucks that stuff down and hes as smooth as the last pickled egg in the barrel
I think the ex-fiance had him in the ropes until he showed her that he saw her mocking his hairline. 👀 Oopsie! She was going to rug sweep that thing into the floor boards.
People are saying he was wrong not to bring it up from the beginning but I see it as a pro move. Even tho he was still a bit in the fog from being with her manipulations and mind games for three years. He knocked the last leg out of her stool and then left her. He did great.
@@julianne089 I think he just kept giving her all the space she needed to paint herself in a corner. Beautiful play in that situation.
@@julianne089 he played smart and waited for her to keep on digging her own grave and went for the jugular in the end
Hot take: OP should flip the script. Mock some aspect of the fiancee's body behind her back. See how it suddenly becomes a very big deal for her!
She's showing her true colours, that she has no respect for OP. What is the point of her? Out with the trash she goes.
After skimming the updates: Holy crap this 2-faced beyotch was spewing every manipulation and excuse in the book! I don't believe for one nanosecond her turnaround was sincere, she's only sorry she got busted. So glad OP got rid of her.
We know very little of the situation. We have one perspective. And as much as I feel OP was right to cut her out and chose his own wellbeing, I feel if he had lowered himself like you suggest they would deserve each other.
Yeah, no. Stooping to her level is not cool. He did the thing thing by confronting her calmly, then leaving her.
@@WobblesandBean Oh I'm not suggesting OP actually do that, more of a rhetorical question. Besides if his friends are good people, they'd lose respect for him. She sure as hell isn't worth that. Good riddance to her.
The part that gets me about story 1 is a very specific detail: He asks how she would react to him talking about her insecurities with his friends, and rather than admitting he's right, or apologising, she immediately left, and on return kept playing like he was in the wrong. That was her last chance, once that detail came up and she still stood her ground it was clear that the only options were either breaking up or couple's therapy.
She knew she effed up and she took off for a little bit of "female backup" to give her assurance she isn't the "baddie". When she got back and he pointed out the mocking and told her it was over, she didn't even put up a fight and knew it was game over for her.
Exactly. I also thought it was telling that she only brought out the tears when OP actually told her that he saw and heard her mocking him to her friends. She wasn't upset or sad before. She had no problem trying to tell OP how wrong he was and never gave a shit about his pain or feelings. And the "talk" they had after that may have been genuine, but to me it just seemed like damage control on her part to keep OP from dumping her. The fact that she was so quick to enlist her friends to argue for her to OP after she just walked away from the argument tells me all I need to know about what kind of person she is (in addition to all the gaslighting). Good riddance to her. Maybe she will grow up and be better. I wish OP the best and hope he will have more self respect in the future to avoid people like this.
@@jaymel4691 It just goes to show you, people who are narcissistic and manipulating realize when they know they are wrong or do something wrong, will trickle truth just like a cheater will.
The truth is him losing hair is bothering HER. She is hiding this by joking about it.
The OP was kind of a doormat the entire time, but holy hell the GF played him perfectly. Storming out in the middle of bringing up your emotions is how you'd get me to never let you back in
Good for the OP for dumping this toxic person. She obviously thought less of the OP to make fun of him behind his back and to downplay his feelings to his face. Good for him for moving on with his life and enjoying it. It is always surprising how many people jump right into a new relationship after ending one.
I’m absolutely shocked he ended it when he did. Thrilled that he did, but shocked he had the guts to do it in the moment. I really thought he was going to take whatever lie she told him. Good for him.
There is no getting past such a lack of respect. She flat out didn't respect the guy. How can you remain loyal to someone that you don't respect?
I mean, discussing someone’s insecurities without their consent is a pretty shitty thing to do in general, but the mocking was the straw that broke the camels back. This would be a deal breaker for me as well and actually was for my last relationship.
I’m really happy to read OP stood up for himself. She was so wrong in this
I get it was shitty that she discussed this with the friend, but I don't see where the mocking is. I tried "pulling my forehead back" and it does nothing.
In my opinion, the fact that she was so casual talking about it means that for her it doesn't matter that much that he is bolding and that should make him happy.
If this is the only thing that was wrong with a 3 year relationship, I wouldn't end it directly.
And the fact that she spike with her friends is normal. She was actually asking if she might.have been wrong, especially since they were present when it happened. He's doing it by asking reddit if he's overreacting, but she's the one who's wrong?
I also didn't like the fact that he yelled at her.
They weren't a good fit anyway..I think OP's insecurities are so great that he was afraid that she was going to dump him sooner or later and decided this was the sign. Because in the first part he was talking about her like she was the popular girl in school and he was the nerd.
@@jadedjane6241 She knew she effed up as evidenced by the way she simply walked out when he said it was over. It's not like they were simply dating, they were engaged to be married. You would think she would put up some sort of a fight, but she didn't. She knew she crossed a serious boundary and it was rightfully, game over for her.
@@jadedjane6241 you don't see the big picture here. You propably have insecurities as well. Now imagine your partner sharing them with friends, laughing while doing that. Is that marriage material?
@@ps9501 as I said, she was an AH for doing this. But if that was the only thing that was wrong in 3 years, I would give her the benefit of yhe doubt and do some couple counseling. Someone that is cruel and doesn't care would do way more things that would bother me. A lot of the people on Reddit see a pattern in hindsight and this hasn't happened with OP.
@@jadedjane6241 You still don't see it. She was trashing him when he was literally in the same building. Now imagine, at least in his head; what else she is talking behind your back when he isn't around? this was the first time when she was CAUGHT.
There are people who have been cheating for 10 years and finally got caught. So your argument was silly that "oh this was the first time" Huge betrayal like that opens up whole can of worms.
Mocking you to her friends is a betrayal of trust. You trust your partner to have your back, to defend you. Instead she betrayed you and told your insecurities and bullied you. That’s not a partner, that’s a rival.
Proud of this OP for standing his ground and doing what he needed in the face of everyone in his real life trying to downplay him say he was in the wrong
The mocking, surprisingly, wasn't the worst part of it but the gaslighting. I hate nothing more than when people turn it on you and make you feel wrong for feeling the way you feel. Screw right off.
That friend that went 'how insecure are you?'
Like.... that was the entire point! Very insecure! Which is exactly why it was wrong!
And the fiancé how she reacted, knowing full well she had mocked him and still putting the blame on him, pretending like she hadn't done anything wrong. Like ooff, the audacity. The moment when she was confronted with it she knew she had f-ed up. Honestly... glad she got dumped and hope she learned a lesson for the future.
You needed to stand up for your self Right then & there. When you talked to her she walked out on you. You did the right thing.
We talk about abuse more and more these days, recognising signs, not tolerating all kinds of behaviour .. but so often men are not included in this and told that they can be victims too and it should never be tolerated.
She mocked his biggest insecurity, lied about it, gaslighted, stormed out to set her friends on him, then gaslighted again .. appalling behaviour. It was a relief when he finally posted it was over.
She is a dangerous liar and only admits to topics he has proof of he needs to leave her fast
I think fiancée's actions were forgivable if she hadn't 1. brushed aside his feelings and 2. effectively lied by pretending she didn't mock him. She was going to carry on like it was no big deal until he revealed what he saw. Once he was forced to bring that up to get her to seriously consider his feelings, the relationship was done. On top of that, reaching back to the same friends she'd mocked him in front of for validation shows just how horrible she is. OP dodged a bullet. If he'd forgiven her and moved past it, I'm almost certain the whole situation would just be another joke between her and her friends.
Damn, OP's ex has that gaslighting down pat. As someone dealing with hair loss, I was pissed off for OP. Honestly I feel like the relationship could have been saved if she didn't leave and start sharing more of his stuff with her friends. That was it for me: Do you want her friends to have a front row seat in your relationship.
As my bald friend told me - a person who will never lose his locks- “women find bald men attractive. Women do not find balding men attractive.” It is actually 100% true.
Then it made me look at combover men in a new light.
I agree. I much prefer balding men just shave their whole head. It’s their hair and they can do what they want, unless it’s a combover lol. 😅. I’m kidding of course.
@@TheBre1491 I actually shave my husbands head for him. I just told him I have enough hair for both of us, thick, wavy and down to my butt. lol
For me, it depends on what the guy is able to do with his remaining hair. There's definitely a point where it looks best to shave it all off, though.
Yes, bald men appear masculine and self confident. Shave it off, and as a plus, grow a nice beard💕
Close cropped can work as well, works for Jason Statham.
It's called body shaming and if he mocked an aspect of her appearance Reddit would be up in arms telling her to call off the wedding: let's see if the amateur psychologists of reddit are going to tell him it's just his "insecurity". EDIT: Pleasantly surprised at the comments, even 'though OP still refers to it as his "insecurity" instead of her nasty and 2-faced nature. Interesting how she walked out and got her friends after him when he asked her how she'd feel with reversed roles. Get rid of her, OP. She's a bad seed.
It being an insecurity and her being nasty and 2-faced aren't mutually exclusive. If anything, her being willing to take advantage of his insecurity like that makes her *worse.*
Dude calm your tits.
He’s going to have to find a way to accept his hair loss or let it drive him crazy.
Yes his girlfriend shouldn’t have made fun of him.
So that makes her an ahole but he needs to come to terms with his receding hair.
There is no cure for baldness so either shave his hair off, wear a wig or come up with the funds to pay for some hair plugs.
OP gained more respect from her friends by not being a doormat. They tried to bully him, but failed. The other husband should be wondering what his wife has been saying about him.
S1- I would have left that very day. She's a bully who sees him as a joke. And she didn't even tell the truth about what she did.
The fact that she ended up leaving with the friend that she told him she would cut out proves that her apology wasn't sincere. OP dodged a bullet.
she was so willing to downplay and gaslight him until she knew that he knew she was making fun of him and so was her friend
She sounds incredibly, intentionally manipulative as well as not that upset to have broken up with him
My (38F) ex-wife has taken the habit of telling all my issues (I had a massive breakdown at this time) to her best friend. Over, and over even after arguments and explanations. It was one of the reasons for our divorce...
This is just so sad. This guy was just so happy to be able to play games by himself, was being so nice and buying stuff for his fiance and her friends to snack on, so you can tell just by the way he talks he's a hard worker who puts others above himself, takes joy in the smaller things in life, and sounds like a really kind guy. Yet, still, his fiance doesnt hesitate to shit on him like that, and to have such a low opinion of him.
If you're going to bully and verbally/emotionally abuse someone, just leave them so they can find someone who won't do that to them, that's ridiculous.
She is just using him for an ATM.
The ego will mess up a relationship every single time. It’s not hard to say sorry and I’ll never do it again 🤦🏾♀️
Well...He certainly got his answer when the (now ex)girlfriend left after he asked how she would like it he talked about her insecurities with his friends, that being she wouldn't. And it really shouldn't have been needed for Op to ask that. Op was very clear in his words of "As your partner, it hurts me to know your talking about this with your friends behind my back." And instead of actually trying to understand her partners feeling, she kept on passing the blame to him until he had said he saw what she had did, and probably knew that nothing she could do was ever going to fix it. She honestly sound too immature for any romantic relationship. And kinda manipulative.
She was doing "normal" so hard, that was gaslighting in itself.
I'm calling BS on even the idea that, at any point, she showed her friends the product he uses in good faith. It sounds plausible until you remember that none of them have worked yet. so why would she recommend a product that doesn't work?
Woop!!👏👏👏👏👏👏 nice one OP I wasn't expecting his spine to show up so shiny and stron after the time it took to confront her! I hated how she tried to make it his fault!
Once she walked out of the conversation that relationship was dead. Then she went on to make it worse by talking to her friends about the exact issue he was upset then mad about. I do wonder why J’s husband contacted him 6 months later. It had to make him think about his own marriage, after finding out his wife had no problem involving herself and helping end someone else’s relationship.
She only had an honest and “mature” conversation once the physical mocking was revealed. This woman has no accountability.
You don't ever mock your SO to your friends or family. This is a hard and fast rule. If you demean someone to others and allow others to do so then you will start to hold your SO in contempt; and that's a relationship killer.
Story 1: wow she was really going to try and bluff her wau thru this. Thats scary when you see how far a person will go with a lie
I had a drama teacher in high school who had thin hair on top. He was the sweetest, and funniest little old man. He kept a poster in his office window that said, "God created a few perfect heads, all the others he covered with hair." It's a shame how much emphasis our societies place on outward appearance. In the end, we all die and rot the same way, and nobody will remember you for your looks, but the compassion, kindness, and empathy you show to them. Mocking someone with hair loss is body shaming!
I'm gonna be honest, I was actually getting mad at the OP in the first half of the update because he kept not mentioning the part where she was mocking him. Like dude, start with that forehead part first, THEN talk about how the whole thing hurt your feelings.
I just completely skipped that original post part
But if he'd done that, he wouldn't have been able to see how much she was willing to lie to him while trying to downplay the problem.
If he'd gone straight for the key issue she might have went straight to the fake apology and maybe he'd have fell for it.
@@diamondmx3076 this, I've been manipulated before. If I felt like i was dealing with someone who was doing that I would not reveal key info until they have dug their position in. She knew what she had done and was willing to try and manipulate him at every possible turn.
@@diamondmx3076 Agreed.
It's as Napoleon is supposed to have said: "Never interrupt your enemy when he (she) is making a mistake."
I don't know why people don't do immediate confrontations. Imagine the look on their faces and the "sorrys" that would have taken place if he had simply walked into the room as she was doing her mocking of him while showing her hairline. I would have walked in, looked at her, and said, go pack your shit while I escort your friends out.
The fact that the ex-fiance was downplaying what OP heard until the truth of what was actually said was brought up. Tells you that OP partner is not trustworthy and will downplay any situation that shows her in a bad light.
Agreed, I would of broke up with her just for the did honesty let alone the mocking, If I heard that from my partner they all would of been out the door within 60 seconds with a pick up of her things the next day.
Oh wow, I know this woman. She will gaslight everything and only admit the truth when hit over the head with it.
She turned to her friends to see if she was wrong or not…and wasn’t surprised when they backed her up??? OF COURSE her friends are going to back her up and say she’s in the right. “Think Mark!”
As for the hairline? I had the same issue when I was around 19-20 years old. Didn’t use any product but kept it until it just didn’t look right anymore and shaved it bald at 25. I’ll bic it every once in awhile but usually a pair of Wahl clippers without a guard works just as well. It’s a thought?
My SO is almost completely bald, and I've NEVER mocked him for that. NEVER. If you truly love someone, you do not pull that kind of merde.
I always love the game of “if this was the other way around”…and he was mocking her weight gain, I don’t think she’d think she was overreacting lol
"It's not a big deal + you're overreacting" is one type of gaslighting tbh. Yeah no, drop the girl in the bin. I hope OP feels better.
I have Alopecia, which is basically spotted hairloss. When I went to a dermatologist and realized What I had, My husband supported me nonstop because he knew it hurt my sense of self worth, and never said anything to hurt my feelings. He even helped me do hairstyles that would cover it and just be generally supportive of everything I did. I couldn’t imagine going through the same thing that this man did but I am so happy he found himself!
Jeez. I got "Mean Girl" vibes about the fiancé all throughout the story. My mind kept screaming as I was reading, "Tell her about the mocking!" The problem wasn't the sharing of products and the information. It was the high school clique mocking that was the problem.
How cruel & childish can exfiance be? The fact that she doubled down makes it so much worse. I bet if he had brought up HER insecurities (weight, cellulite, bust size, acme, teeth- whatever) she'd have lost it. At least he got out before he married a middle school bully. I mean if she'd do that to her SO, who wouldn't she do this too
I don't understand why some people need to talk shit/mocking their partner behind their back.
Just over halfway done sanding a bowl I’m making!
Women say they want men to show their emotions, but when they do, the men are seen as weak. OP said she was a popular girl at the gym. Popular people think they can say and do whatever they want and everyone will be OK with it.
Story 1: OP's fiancee knew the relationship was in danger once she finally realized what she's done.
This entire debacle was ridiculous. First, no one should ever tolerate their SO sharing their insecurities with others. To add the mockery on top of it was just far too much. Then when OP actually spoke to her, she doubled down and went back to talking about it all with her friends again, who then harassed OP. What is it with some people that can’t respect the privacy and dignity of their SO?
She’s settled for the introverted good guy. She doesn’t respect you enough. Drop her and find a better woman.
NTA you do not share nor joke about your partner insecurities with anyone! I’m so happy op grew a back bone and dumped her because she’s a shit partner.
She didn’t regret anything. She and her friends enjoyed mocking you. She’s not a person you trust with your heart and issues.
To get back at gf ask her if you were to tell all your buddies that her "kitty stinks"how would she like it,cause if she does it again that's what going to happen to her,fight fire with fire!!p.s.dont eat the kitty anymore she'll wonder why just mess with her head,make her a basket case!!
🤣🤦♀️🤣🤦♀️. Heard this one when u released it, autoplay decided I needed to relisten & autoplay was right. I was drawing my new idea for a fabric design (stag beetles & oyster mushrooms in a damask) so wasn’t listening too hard, well, I was CERTAIN you said “Beyoncé mocked my hair loss in front of all her friends” and I was like, daaamn, that sucks. It still sucks of course, but imagine getting roasted by Beyoncé on Instagram or something. 😅🤷♀️
I heard the same thing. I'm sitting here, screwing off with insomnia, and Beyoncé dissed the hairline??
Just got a birthday invitation for my nephew who's turning 1 in October, then opened my phone to a video actually appearing properly!
i hate that people fight you when they know they did something wrong and don't want to apologise until they run out of excuses and look too guilty not to
I am proud of OP telling her he saw the forehead mocking and it was over between them. Ultimate mic drop.
The hair thing on its own and even the mocking part on it's own shouldn't be enough to break up over (everyone makes mistakes, especially when it comes to pushing the envelope a little too far to impress their friends) but the way she handled the aftermath raised more red flags than China. Belittling O.P's feelings, walking out in the middle of a serious discussion instead of hearing O.P. out only to then come back and try to gaslight O.P. .She has shown that she can't be trusted by O.P., she is unwilling to learn from her mistakes and she is quite manipulative putting her self interests well above that of O.P's. O.P. is honestly pretty lucky that he was gifted with such a clear litmus test of how the relationship would have ended up going forward.
Poking fun at a someone you care about while they are around is one thing as long as you don't over do it. They can then be in on the joke and give feedback if it is cool or not to do that. But doing it while they are not around will slowly erode your sense of value in that person and will erode trust between you and that person and can erode the trust even everyone who heard you make the joke ("If this is what they say when that person isn't around, what do they say when I'm not around?).
Good for him. At least there was some closure for him and the ex and J took some accountability for their actions. Hopefully the girls will learn from this so they don't repeat it. I hope that OP grows accustomed to his hair loss so he doesn't have insecurities about in the future. Can't fight nature.
I wouldn't have waited and stewed on it if my partner ridiculed me in that fashion. I'd have barged right on into the room and taken care of it. I have plenty of insecurities, but being a bitch when needed isn't one of them.
Idk why it’s so hard to just say sorry and not belittle your partner when they’re talking about something that hurts them.
Also major red flags: she immediately leaves when she knows she’s in the wrong, she tells her partner their valid feelings are an overreaction, she sent her friend after him, who knows how else she’s mocked him behind his back.
She immediately leaves *and* she centers her own feelings when he’s trying to talk about his. Major red flag.
OP needs to man up. He's too emotional, even for an emotional thinker
Mark thanks for the video hope you and poppy are having a wonderful day
I understand why he vacillate with is this enough to break up. Disrespect is a tough thing, because it’s not a “surface” thing, it always comes from the heart. She had no boundary in mocking his hair loss even knowing how he felt about it. No trouble laughing about with her friends, no trouble lying about doing it(by omission when talking). No trouble at all dismissing his feelings when she knew she laughed about them. As far as breaking up goes, obviously it was the right thing to do, you’ve moved on fairly easily and she has never tried to contact you. Her validation with friends conveniently skips over the mocking and laugh part.
The doubling down and feeling no guilt for mocking him because she thought he hadn't seen it. That's such a huge lack of respect for a partner.
When you have to drag out an apology, it ain't no apology.
OP'S girlfriend is going to gaslight him through their relationship. If she feels shitty for doing something it is probably because it was a shitty thing to do. I cannot see a relationship with someone like this working out, especially not when she gets her friends involved to attack her partner.
ahhh! omg, I always listen to your vids on castbox so my mind is melting at coming across your youtube channel!
I know that all these stories about relationships (my guilty pleasure btw) doesn’t depict women as a whole. However, as a 20 year old, it makes me really not want to be in a relationship cause it seems that a lot of people out here just aren’t mature enough to consider their partners in a proper relationship, which is what I want. It’s sad, but hopefully a nice person can change my mind on that in the future.
The Fiancé could’ve saved the Relationship but she had to Leave mid argument and get her friends involved.
That was the final nail.
She and her friends may have genuinely apologized even from the bottom of their hearts, but the Damage has been done.
Dump her she doesn't care about your feelings
Also, hair transplants may not stop the hair the shedding, so ask a specialist about PRP injections, and your physician about RX supplements. Best Wishes
All the emotions that you felt are the same responses you would have with bullying…guilt and shame…I am so sorry that this happened to you by someone who you trusted..
👋👋👋Mark! Thanks for sharing the waffles with us! Love your channel!
My boyfriend would never, EVER, do what OP's girlfriend did to him, and likewise I would never do anything like that to him. How can you claim to love someone who you act so cruelly to? OP, leave her. You deserve so much better than her.
You should have dumped her sooner... But good job anyway, OP