I’m really sick of this mentality that just because someone is single and they don’t have kids means they do not have a life and they are obligated to be the emergency parent to someone else’s kids. ETA: also to add, it’s not just a mentality that family members will have to someone they are related to that is single with no kids. This happens with coworkers! You can have a married Mom with her first and only child hearing about your upcoming days off from work, and she wants to try to guilt trip you or even bully you FOR BEING SINGLE as if that’s good enough reason for you to give her your days off.
My sister had two toddlers when I was still single. When we took a family vacation, I took the kids for one outing, mom took them for another. Any other time my sister and my BIL wanted to spend as much time with their kids as they could. Had OP’s sister been reasonable, her brother might have been happy to take care of the kids for one day. Being asked and being forced are two different things.
I'm always afraid to tell people at work I'm childfree. They always just assume that this means I must want to just work unlimited hours and every holiday ever lol. So I ALWAY point out that I help my family with my handicapped brother- which is true. But it's pretty rare that I watch him for long periods of time anymore. But the point is that despite not having my own kids I DO have an outside life. I have my family, partner and friends. I work so I can afford to be with them and for me working 24/7 defeats the purpose. I DO have obligations- they just aren't my own childern.
They feel entitled to other people’s time. Especially younger siblings and other family members. They assume they have nothing better to do and are obligated to watch the kids.
It’s crazy how sis is apparently so swamped with childcare that she needs her brother for frequent babysitting but still found the time to browse on Reddit.
she's probably not enjoying motherhood. Three kids instead of one as planned probably is overwhelming and it sounds like she and her husband haven't gotten the discipline thing under control.
@@MsJubjubbird Yeah I don't think she was ready for them at all. I feel kinda bad for her, but just for that. She needs to go to therapy or child counselling to figure a system out. Her behaviour is very immature and I think she was barely ready to be a Mother, so many people have kids for the sake of having kids as a milestone/trophy and don't realise how much work even ONE kid takes, or even money. (I'm not blaming the kids, they didn't ask to be born and I also feel bad for them and hope they aren't neglected.)
The thing is the kids are in school all day so she has time to herself,but wants more time in the evening to herself. What time are they making the kids go to bed? I think I heard they were 6 yrs old, but I could be wrong and their bedtime shouldn’t be later than 8:30-9pm. Maybe she should work something out with her husband so he can watch the boys one or two time during the week to give her time to herself. Sure he works, but so does she… trying to wrangle 3 kids is work!
Wow, the revelation that BIL thought OP's sister was paying him for babysitting and was not, sort of solidified for me that OP's sister is beyond entitled and is worthy of going NC with. It also sounds like the sister learned this from mom.
Yeah I can see his face when OP must have told him he wasn't being paid, then he did the right thing in making Sis pay OP all the money he was owed and stood up for OP when he refused to babysit
What with all of the lies & manipulating sis did, I just don't see her marriage lasting long! I'll bet he's examining the past few years looking for where she did it to Him!
@@marshawargo7238 Same here. In fact, I think there was an update that OP made where Brother in law is considering a divorce. And I honestly hopes he goes through with it. He and his kids deserve better.
Op had one more post. His mother and sister saw the last post, sister called crying saying he made her look like a bad mother and OP replied with, "Well if the glass slipper fits!". Mother showed up at his door demanding he delete the posts and OP told her no and said he had ammunition for one more and she ended up leaving crying. Lol it got to the point where the sister had a "No one love me!" pity party after their parents told her to stop blaming OP and leave him alone after OP called them to say he will never go back to the previous family dynamic.
@@goawayleavemealone2880 Oh wow we might need more videos on this if there are more stories and yea all this time I wan thinking BIL needs to divorce and take the kids.
@@goawayleavemealone2880 In 15 years a Reddit post will be made by triplets that were raised by their uncle after their mom and dad divorced and abandoned them.
Unless you're hiring a nanny/ au pair and paying them a good wage, your kids are your responsibility. Family doesn't owe you free childcare. If you don't want to raise kids, don't have them. Kids deserve better than lazy parents who pawn them on anyone available. I'd never go on vacation with this family again. Pay for your own vacation and go somewhere you like.
Why do so many people think that you owe them on this. I never asked anybody to keep an eye on my children when I went somewhere that is my responsibility I gave birth to them not other people.
Anyone else feeling second hand exhaustion for OP? He just wants to have his own life and enjoy his own vacation, but has to work so hard to keep boundaries,
I am. Poor guy. His sister must be so exhausting to deal with. Which is why I think he should consider limiting contact with her for a while, a very LONG while.
Omg so bad! But while it was exhausting, it was a really good "first step" of setting and enforcing his boundaries, so hopefully not needing to be repeated, or if it is, it's only a "reminder" as it were. Poor OP!
@@franceskitching5701 The truth is that some battles can't be avoided. They have to be fought as a show of strength and solidarity. At some point, you can't just TELL them, "NO MORE." You have to show them.
Been there. Not similar with this one but I keep arguing with some family members and no one is backing down. At least when arguing with a stranger we can separate way and never meet again. Arguing with family? You have to meet with them every year 🥴
The final update just proves that his sister hasn't learned a thing and likely won't change anytime soon, but good on OP for firmly enforcing and maintaining his boundaries.
@@PrincessQ-fj9ly Oh c'mon, Princess. Life would be a lot worse for all 5 of them if he divorces her. Better this way: now he knows what she's been up to, and he obviously has the cojones to rein her in and straighten her out. Good for him, and good for her and the kids in the long run. As she apparently IS trainable.....
@@rickraber1249 You make a good point. Maybe he can leave her once the triplets are all grown up. I'm just worried that she'll start taking it out on her triplets since she clearly doesn't want them.
And the fact that even when reprimanded the first time, she KEPT GOING! It's like she was desperate to make everyone else miserable just so they could try to force OP back into his role to "magically" make her happy and less stressed, lowering the stress of the group. Talk about manipulation. How desperate is she to pawn her kids off? Makes me wonder how badly they behave with just her (or how she perceives it), how involved hubby is beyond breadwinning, and how much she hates OP.
I have a sister that, for a time, was just as manipulative as Op's sister. At one point it is not about what she wants it's the fact that she can't force him to do what she wants. Its a power dynamic of a crazy narrcascist who just lost all control.
It is SO annoying that this “keep the peace” bullshit REMAINS SOLELY for the people who are NOT the source of the problem Thank god OP stood up for himself And just because someone is single does not mean they’re suddenly free childcare or whatever the hell kinda nonsense someone wants to heap onto them
My god part of this was a bit like deju vu though .y family didnt dk the stalking or screaming mabe acted az if i had no life even the babysitting in hols and having to go along with the couples (though jt was me and my child) however what was i saz pYing for the privaludge the same as everyone else but fof the communal roon wuth sbared bathroom and kids in the luving room infrom of my room when u refused to take them so in essence i was still dealing with them.
It was incredibly naive to think the sister would do right. She literally stipped you out of money to babysit when she had it to give, and lied to her husband about it. She really tried to victimize herself--boo hoo hoo I can't have time to myself, I'm so burnt out boo hoo hoo. When she could have paid OP or a sitter. An apology isn't a cure-all. I wouldn't care if she apologized. I'd never trust her again.
If sister keeps this up, she might get hit with a (not so) shocking divorce. Hearing about how OP’s mother acting, now I’m not surprised why his sister acts like this. Idk why OP’s dad and BIL married them.
@@LilFeralGangrel BIL doesn’t seem to be an involved parent. He seems to be content to bring home the money, but leave child rearing to his wife who’s trying to pass that job on to someone else.
You know what’s nuts? If the sister had just taken ownership the Internet, Reddit specifically, would have praised the ever living hell out of her. Would have went on and on and on about how awesome it was they she owned her shit but no …she double, triple, and quadruple downed.
@@lynprincevalli5221 Some people refuse to lose. One place I worked, when one of my coworkers lost a power struggle over who controlled the union local, she quit her job. What was the power struggle over? Who got to control the local - her little clique, or the membership.
The hotel hall stalking was unhinged. I would have told Sis she's building background for a restraining order and excused myself to go speak to hotel security about preserving hallway footage. Likely no need to follow through on that, just say it to try to force "I am a person, not your property" into her head via fear of the law.
OP made his point on that vacation. They’re not going to pull the same crap on him again because he won’t let them, and if they do then he’ll have his vacation by himself.
I think going on that vacation was a perfect way to show them he wasn't going to be a pushover any more, avoiding the vacation just drags it out further until they feel they can force him to go and try again. This was the quickest and best way to adjust their behavior.
@@streamerssaymyname I agree with you. I understand the people who told OP to just cut his losses, but better to face the problem head on than drag it out and delay the inevitable.
It's so not about not trusting strangers to babysit, she put her everything into making sure her brother would be the one and even made sure he wouldn't get payed. The whole thing was some crazy powerplay to her where he can't say no. And she was crazy about it not working anymore. I think that's on the parents, spoil the child and ruin them forever.
23 years old and still tied to "family vacations" is pathetic. Especially when he doesn't like the family idea of 'togetherness' which involves him babysitting.
@@Kayenne54What? You can want to spend time with your family without wanting to have to babysit. Especially when nobody asked you to babysit beforehand and they expect you to do it for free, without pretty much any time off to do what you wanna do. And with the cherry on top have a bunch of crotch goblins to share a room with since the actual parents "want a room of their own". It's a positive development that instead of avoiding the issue, OP got the ball rolling and actually made his parents realize he won't just keep the peace and that he won't just be a free babysitter to his entitled sister
The way OP kept having to remind his mother and them that he was a grown ass adult makes me think they're so used to him being the younger kid under their thumb that they can't grasp that he IS an adult now. Probably not much different from some parents who joke that someone is "the baby of the family" even when they're drinking age, but actually treats them like a kid that just has to obey. Was a good thing OP moved out, because that probably helped shift parents' thinking, too, that he's grown up and not their kid they can boss around all the time anymore. The insistence on OP continuing the same roles he had when he was under their roof, though... yeah, that's a bit baffling. OP made adult decisions, and I'd bet some of mom's tears were because her "baby" is an adult now and she has to come to terms with that.
I can't believe that after everything, the sister STILL stalked OP to his hotel room! Then she tries to play the victim?? Just.. wow. I'd never go on another family vacation with them again.
I heard this whole saga. Glad op finally got his money and the vacation he deserved. Just a shame it took being dragged on reddit for the parents to realize they were wrong. But at least they are on ops side.
There was another post. Oop's sister was furious about the vacation update and cried to mommy about it. Then their mother was at oop's door demanding he take the posts down.
While I believe parents with triples have it hard and can appreciate all the help they can get, they are not entitled to it. Disrespecting a person helping you for refusing disrespect certainly makes parents an a$$hole.
Absolutely! My niece had twins and when they were 2 she had her third boy followed a year and a half later by their girl (yes, they are done, lol). Her parents helped as did her brothers, myself and my daughter, but it was ALWAYS appreciated and never just expected! My niece and her hubby mostly just needed helped when it came to work, the rest of the time they had their children with them as they knew it was their responsibility responsibility
While there are problematic children, 90% of the times it's bad parenting. My sister has 3 boys and while the are sometimes naughty like all children, they don't usually give problems because my sister and BIL taught them morals, manners, respect ...
I have 3 sets of twins with not so far age gap, yes it is hard. Because i know that it's hard that i didnt want to bother others with my children. I wouldnt want to pass on the hardship on my siblings just so that i could enjoy vacation while they dont. I wanted the kids, so they're my responsibilities. My parents gave birth like what? 14 kids and some of them are sets of triplets and twins. We never had to be second parents or babysitters for younger siblings.
So proud of OP for holding firm and not backing down! So glad the BIL put his wife in her place and made her pay her brother for the babysitting and stopped her from harassing OP. Glad he also told his mom to knock it off he wasn’t going to be their doormat anymore. OP has gotten a great shiny spine 😊
OP was tired of being the scapegoat and put the golden child in her place. I'm so proud of him. I'm so happy he managed to reinforce his boundaries. I'd ditch his mom and sis but that's up to him, not me.
Yeah the more she keeps whining about taking care of the boys it sounds like she just doesn't want to be a mother. All the more reason the BIL should divorce her and take the children with him.
Can we have a round of applause for OP's shiny new spine, he shut down both his sister and his mother, and no one is talking about it, but its obvious where the sister got it from. The mother was literally just as bad, sister learned how to cry on command from the mother, I bet that is exactly where sister's entitled streak came from. I don't believe it was that sister didn't trust strangers at all, not when it was revealed not only was she forcing OP to be her babysitter, but she was pocketing the money BIL was giving her to give to him for herself. That is just a whole new layer of scummy. Good on the BIL for shutting down that toxic behavior and standing up to his wife. This is when a spouse SHOULDN'T have your side no matter what, when you're being a greedy and manipulative asshole. You know, if sister actually paid OP like she was supposed to, OP might of even kept babysitting, but now he'll likely refuse out of principle, which he should. Hell, even knowing the jig was up sister still kept trying to sneak off and bully her brother alone, she still didn't learn her lesson!
Wow. Talk about not understanding the word NO. Poor guy. His family is wildly dysfunctional but he has managed well in spite of. He's a badass in my book.
I can just picture the OP getting on the elevator, getting off on the wrong floor, taking the stairs down one flight, walking to another hallway and grabbing a different elevator to his floor like a spy trying to shake a tail.
OP's sister is an entitled golden child. It seemed like OP was treated as the life long flunky for sister. Parents still continues to see OP as a kid with no autonomy. Good on OP for standing up to be counted. Just because a person is family member it doesn't automatically follow that they can be used and abused. Free will is not an idea, but an innate fact.
It sucks when parents won't let you leave the kids' table and join the adults. They get used to keeping someone in that spot, so the youngest stays there and becomes the clean-up crew or wrangler for the new generation of kids at the kids' table. Sucks. I was an only child, and younger than all my cousins on one side. Even into my 30s I never quite succeeded in making it to the adults' table. It's why when my dad was gonna go visit his friends and their families and have me tag along, I finally just stopped going. Not much fun to drive a long way and sit there and barely be able to join in on the conversation or activities, so I hung out at Starbucks every holiday for hours to avoid it. It was far more enjoyable to people-watch, strike up 5-minute convos with travelers, and enjoy some good hot coffee while writing stories or catching up on reading. Far less lonely.
I’m a Gen x and many of my 6 aunts dumped their kids on one another then us cousins with no payment of even asking. That’s my experience with boomers. They didn’t raise their kids and their kids haven’t raised their own. Don’t have KIDS if you don’t want to have them 24/7
I'm Gen X and my parents were boomers and I was responsible for everyone younger then me including cousins and siblings. I raised my daughter, and 4 of my nieces and nephews, and I am at the point where I am all about me
@@kb1073 I lived that. I wasn't even the oldest cousin, but somehow I got saddled with keeping younger cousins out of everyone's hair. And adulthood didn't get me out of it. If I wanted to be part of adult convo, there was this look on the Boomers' faces; that thinly-veiled look of "you're a kid and this is adult time now." I couldn't believe even in my 20s I was metaphorically shoved to the kiddie table. It's no wonder I ended up chatting with my pre-teen and teen cousins and grandparents when they were still around the most at gatherings. My older cousins were permitted to be adults, but I wasn't. Guess the parents thought I liked hanging around younger cousins--I just didn't wanna sit in the corner, lonely and miserable. I eventually ducked out of every gathering after that--felt less lonely hanging out at Starbucks on holidays, talking with complete strangers and people-watching. Maybe that's why I do pretty good at tutoring--I learned not to talk down to children just because they're young, because I know how that feels when you're older.
OP handled it perfectly. This is how you handle entitled people in your life, don’t tolerate their nonsense. The sister one of the most entitled people I’ve ever heard of on Reddit. He needs to go low contact with this family.
Oh well, at least he and the Reddit community have knocked some cold, hard reality into the parents, and now the sister is upset because no one is enabling her anymore and Reddit is berating for her rotten behavior.
My main sadness from this story is that the family doesn't seem to be picking up on just how fractured this relationship really is. Like if OP is having to go to these lengths in the final update then it shows the complete lack of trust OP has with them, to anyone else this would be the time to panic and try to repair the relationship but the mum and sister keep pushing when they seem to be hanging on by a thread. I think this will become one of those situations where OP lessens contact slowly but surely.
Oh op, your sister and mother's drama aren't over yet. This is the start. They will do this again but try to do in sneaky within getting caught. Op, try go LC on them if they pull stunts again.
I don't understand why the grandmother didn't help watch her grandsons if she was that committed to letting her bratty woman child daughter have some child free time on vacation!
@@cheryljackson7908 I mean OP _did_ say that their mom was helping, but how much if sis was still complaining, you know? Or maybe they were helping a lot and it was never actually about taking care of her brats, but controlling OP 🤷♀️
@@ACAB.forcutie I think you hit it on the head. It was a power move. Probably resents OP for not having kids yet and still having a wide variety of options for his life while her being a mom to triplets has shrunk her choices quite a bit. So she's punishing him for not having to live her life 24/7 and figures if she can't live her life the way she wants, her brother doesn't deserve to, either. She's a bloody selfish person.
Posts like this just make me so thankful that my parents have always accepted my childfree stance and that my sister doesn't try to constantly push her son on me
I sympathize with being exhausted by kids, especially triplets, but hire a nanny. Find summer camps, join swim lessons or art classes where you drop the kids off. The thing you don't do is expect family to take the role of third parent for you.
I'd love to know how much her husband actually does. OP mentioned that he kind of stayed at the office during the worst of the blow-ups, so I wonder if he is one of those guys who takes every assignment that will keep him late just to avoid going home (knew 1 or 2 like that--ended in divorce, too)? Sister keeps talking about how exhausted she is dealing with the kids, and hubby just said "I'm tired, too" on the vacation, but in day-to-day life? I definitely wanna know.
@@tallyp.7643 Me too. Although I wouldn't be surprised if she dumps the children on him the moment he gets home from work while she does whatever she wants kinda like what she did with OP.
I understand that triplets must take a lot of work, and may well have been a surprise, but it sounds as if the sister and BIL are well-off enough to afford a nanny.
The thing is the sister shot herself in the foot with an all or nothing attitude. If she'd actually asked OP to watch the kids for a reasonable amount of time that gave him the time to still pursue his interests and was appreciative of the effor, she'd have help for years to come.
Took way to long to find this comment. However, based on the mom I don't think OP being sister's servant was new, since long before the kids came into the picture. Which would also explain why OP put up with it as long as he did.
I cannot fathom why they keep on looking at the damned post if it upsets them so much. It’s anonymous, it’s just strangers on the internet! Why do they care so much what randos have to say?
@@DoritoBot9000 Pain shopping. More than that, sister's probably looking for that unicorn poster who will validate her feelings and declare OP the a-hole and that she's a saint for putting up with him. Too bad for her.
my mom has 3 young kids not including me and she has never, ever tried to pawn them off on her siblings or family during vacations, and she still enjoys all of our trips.
Good for your mom. That is the way to be. Like your mom, I never really had a vacation while my kids were young, 'cause I always still had to take care of my family. But it was still fun to go to new places. As a parent it was so much fun to see my kids enjoying themselves.
OP should've stayed at a completely separate hotel or B&B. It would have been even less stressful and more private. I knew the sister was going to try to find him in the same hotel.
Mark i understand the "what do they bring to the table sentiment. I think it's op's nephews. He loves them. He just does not want to be the on call baby sitter.
Hey Mark, the guy made one last update I won’t spoil things but I can give an opinion of someone who been in a similar situation and has a relative like the sister. Sister really needs to grow up and her parents need to be on her ass before she ends up very, very lonely.
I cant get past that her kids are triplets and old enough to be in school. So she doesn't have to deal with them for several hours during the week. So out for a few hours alone while they're in school! And PAY for a babysitter the other times!
Three kids ... Are adjoining rooms no longer a thing? Two full size beds adjacent to another room would have solved the kid issue. Harder to misbehave when mom and dad are through an open door.
You can bet it was done on purpose to keep them from the noise and mom could feign ignorance that her kids were causing OP problems, at least for a while.
Why did OP's sister have kids if she only wants to push them on her brother? What's wrong with their parents and also his BIL for marrying her? She stole from her husband and her brother? BIL needs to divorce this thief and selfish non mother, and OP needs to leave his trash relatives except BIL. All they care about is their image. The mother refuses to babysit her grandkids 😂 Why is he going on vacay with these trash again?
This is what I find hilarious about some potential parents. They think parenthood will be this grand fantasy world; they'll get more attention for being parents and they'll have these little "dolls" that they can play with and dress up. But then the kids finally come along and they're hit with a harsh dose of reality: The majority of any incoming money has to go to the kids, you get very little to no time to yourself or to enjoy with your partner, and (GASP) being a parent actually requires a lot of exhausting work.
@@whitneybennett4857 I used to have that belief, admittedly enough. 😅 But once my youngest paternal cousin came into the picture, I got a first-hand look that parenthood isn't not for the faint of heart. That's also why I want to at least be well established before I even get married, much less have children.
@@PrincessQ-fj9ly In my early 20's, I think I kind of had that mindset, too. Amazingly enough, once my husband and I were in our late 20's (we married at 20 and 21) we finally decided it was best if we didn't have kids (We're both actually autistic. Not severely so, but enough to where it has messed with our lives a fair amount prior to us meeting.) Now we're in our early 30's and because of that decision, our marriage is still going strong! (I'm definitely not saying NO marriage can survive kids, but many can't, especially considering my own bio dad bailed when I was still a baby.)
I think the OP went on the vacation with his family to show them he would spend time with them but wouldn't be a servant for them. I do think this will be the last time OP goes on a summer vacation with his family.
Reminds me of what my sister attempted to do with myself when family visited me for a vacation last year. Needless to say, I put my sister in her place with the help of my BIL any time she tried. Don't want to take care of your kids, don't have them.
That mother though! Still trying to manipulate OP till the end. It’s clear who the golden child is. As for BIL, I’m not sure how I feel about him. At first I was happy and wanted to cheer when he got sister to apologize. But then I got to thinking …for sister to be scolded and put in her place like a child? Not that she didn’t need it but…that’s not a partnership, that’s a parent-child relationship. Why did he take so long to deal with his own kids?
Tears don’t move me- that’s gangster I fully support ppl that are child free and put they foot down and not be used as a free babysitter. The nerve of sister kept the money, asking to watch her kids, and stalked him. And then the mother….omg
Don't screw without protection unless you are ready to take care of kids yourself. The sister had those kids with plans that she could dump them on family and likely the mom fed her that idea. Or the mom made claims when she had kids she owuld help then had second thoughts and decided the child free kid must help. Granted she probably wasn't planning on tiprlets but thats the dice roll she got.
The family have trashed OP's boundaries so rudely, that OP finally decided to put a stop to it. That is not easy to do. Good on you OP for standing up for yourself. Don't feel guilty about it ever. You just restored the balance the way it should have been from the start.
If OP's parents were smart, they will make this the last vacation for OP's sister and her husband because the sister's borderline shenanigans It's costing everyone including OP peace of mind during these vacations. She feels so extremely entitled that if she's not happy, nobody should be happy including her parents. I am glad OP is setting everyone right.
R'amen! I think you hit it on the head. Guess she figured her actions would put pressure on her parents to return to the status quo so they could enjoy things. Sister is the personification of "misery loves company"!
I had this happen to me. My family member had the audacity to hand me a dietary plan as well. I venmo requested them the daily babysitting rate of the town we were in plus a premium for last minute booking. I told them their children were going to discover the joys of junk food, fried foods, and processed meat if I don't get paid. I got paid.
Every time sis complained that she doesn't get any time away from her kids, OP could have said, "This is something you need to discuss with your husband. How you two handle that is none of my business. I hope you two can work something out." Of course, OP takes a gold medal for showing an example to others of making a boundary, informing others of your boundary, and enforcing the ever-loving hell out of that boundary!
I was surprised that there were more updates. I don’t understand why they can’t hire a full time nanny if bil is so well off? Wouldn’t that just solve the problem? I do understand that OP is free lol but it’s obvious that’s not fair. Sister and bil chose to have kids, they’re responsible for them in the end.
Well, OP did say his sister couldn't trust strangers with the kids. That's not really unusual, and she's kind of been conditioned to just expect OP to do it. With how Mom acted I highly doubt this dynamic started with the sister having kids either.
Can't you just see the ad for a nanny? Wanted 24/7 nanny for three 6 year old boys on vacation, not a minute to yourself, no pay, parent and grandparent will turn on the tears if you don't give in to their every unreasonable demand. Hotel room with boys provided free. Test your ability to live in bedlam.
I would have left the second the mother started crying, doesn't sound like a fun vacation if all people see me as is a babysitter refusing to do the job then cry when i remind them to stop subjecting me to that. Probably could have cut contact too, but I know I'm a person with a very low threshold for continuous drama.
I get the feeling we will be getting another update. Sister's hubby is going to divorce her and take this whole vacation as evidence that she isn't fit to be a mom. Her kids will eventually pick up on the fact that she wants to dump them on her brother every time.
That could be one of the reasons (beyond their age) that they tend to be rowdy and a bit destructive. Kids can get the vibe when they're not quite wanted. I wonder how she treats them at home when she has no help. Does she yell at them? Ignore them? Try to have them play with neighbor kids at their house often as possible? Is she actually pretty good with them but hubby never is around to help, so she forces OP to do it b/c she can't get her hubby to (misdirected anger and a half that the kids can sense)? Would be good to know.
There is one more update you missed that came out today, basically the mother and sister wailed at him for updating after the vacation and OP is adamant on never letting the situation revert back to how it was.
I agree with Mark. I would’ve done my own vacation….yeah you made your point, but I really felt bad for the brother in law who was caught in the middle of the drama. Did you or anyone else think of him?
Why should his wife’s kid brother think of him? He couldn’t even fix his own situation but he should’ve been worried about someone else’s. Nah! BIL chooses to stay married to that narcissistic shrew so that’s on him not her little brother. The only thing that would’ve helped BIL is for OP to back down and allow his nasty sister to keep abusing his good nature and that was what the whole problem was so….what could OP have done differently?
He is the father of the kids and spouse to their crazy mother who he is actively married to, any drama that may occur should involve him as well as it is also HIS family.
considering he probably had to work a lot of hours to feed and clothe 5 people since wifey wasn't working, he just caught glimpses. Now with this vacation and OP letting all the cats out of the bag, he's getting a front row seat to how awful his wife's behavior is and now he definitely has to do something about it. It didn't affect him much because OP was always there. Now he has to step in and take a more active part. At least he seems willing, but I wonder how much wifey complained to him that she needed help (or did she never complain because she had OP as her pizza-money babysitter, in which case, he wouldn't know much)? He might turn out to be a stand-up guy. Just not enough info, sadly.
Sounds like she’s never taken accountability for anything she doesn’t like in her life. She likely thought she could play the same game regarding child rearing by using OP, and for a while she did. Now that reality is catching up with her she is breaking down, I can’t help feeling bad for those triplets.
Exactly. Entitled af, parents can't just "take a vacation" when they choose to bring the kids along.... If they wanna be able to relax more fully? Simple, you hire a effing *BABYSITTER!*
I believe OP handled this very well. In every update, he enforced his boundaries and stood his ground every single time. He didn’t throw a tantrum, unlike his sister. He didn’t fall into hysterics like his mother. He didn’t ignore the situation like his brother-in-law (until he learned the truth). He didn’t allow an inch. Honestly, this was a master class in adulting! Great job OP!👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
Still doing the family vacation at end was - in my opinion - a good move. It forced the family to face and accept they were serious - especially while it was still something OP was firmly resolved to enforce. Avoidance would leave it always in the back of the mind about "what will happen next time we're together" and cause more stress. Also, after a delay family could use the "but it's been so long, just do it this once" card or OP's guard could have dropped enough he'd fall for the "just watch them for a few minutes" tactic. This way, the family has hit the wall and knows OP is serious which should greatly reduce future drama and give them a firmer foundation to resist if something comes up again in future.
I'm still going to say this, I'm a mother and would never force anyone to watch my kid. My kid is my responsibility alone. If I ask and they say no, that is fine. You are allowed to refuse watching someone else's kids, and no one is entitled to your help.
I’m glad he went on the vacation. He set boundaries and his family started respecting them. Brothers and sisters relationships are always complicated. Doesn’t mean you don’t love them or want to spend time with them. My oldest brother and I could not get along as children but we are so much closer now. Early adulthood was our time of adjustment. And it sounds like that is what’s going on here. My only question is why didn’t the triplets father take charge once a week so his wife could have time off to do something by herself. Take art lessons, go to a spa, go shopping by herself, spend time with family or friends, or even enjoy a movie without having to take the children. She might even enjoy going to a museum with just her and her brother.
Do not give in. Your sister had 3 children with her husband. It is not your circus and those are not your flying monkey. Child care is her problem not your. Get up and leave when she starts her crap and don't come back till bedtime. Enjoy that vacation.
I think OP did a good thing for himself. He wanted a relationship with his family in a NON-toxic way so he used the vaccay to teach them. He stood firm with that witch of a sister (and toxic enabling mum). Such growth standing up for himself. Well done.
she doesnt even NEED you to watch her kids, she is trying to make you do it simply as a win because you managed to buck her once about it. This is an ego game for her, because she is narcissistic
I have 2 kids, one of whom has autism and intellectual disability. As an adult, he functions as a preschooler. Growing up, my disabled son was very hyperactive and hard to communicate with. We had no vacations ever, as we didn't have family help at all. I did most of the child care on vacation, but my husband relieved me regularly. When you have kids, that's the drill. Sis needs to hire baby sitters for regular times for a break.
OP having to tip toe around and still avoid babysitting is so dumb. If the sister ditches the kids just call CPS instead of harrassing the hotel staff. This was the most half assed attempt at putting your foot down I've ever heard.
OP was one step ahead of them lmao not surprised if the husband and dad are both tired and just stepped aside everytime because that emotionally and mentally exhausted from it. And ofc she got it from the mom.
Anyone else think the entitled sister is a high risk for cheating? Pocketing the money she was supposed to give her sister and lying about it to her husband is a crimson flag.
I’m really sick of this mentality that just because someone is single and they don’t have kids means they do not have a life and they are obligated to be the emergency parent to someone else’s kids.
ETA: also to add, it’s not just a mentality that family members will have to someone they are related to that is single with no kids. This happens with coworkers! You can have a married Mom with her first and only child hearing about your upcoming days off from work, and she wants to try to guilt trip you or even bully you FOR BEING SINGLE as if that’s good enough reason for you to give her your days off.
I never understood that mentality in my family it is always said that if they wanted to take care of kids they would have their own
My sister had two toddlers when I was still single. When we took a family vacation, I took the kids for one outing, mom took them for another. Any other time my sister and my BIL wanted to spend as much time with their kids as they could.
Had OP’s sister been reasonable, her brother might have been happy to take care of the kids for one day. Being asked and being forced are two different things.
I'm always afraid to tell people at work I'm childfree. They always just assume that this means I must want to just work unlimited hours and every holiday ever lol. So I ALWAY point out that I help my family with my handicapped brother- which is true. But it's pretty rare that I watch him for long periods of time anymore. But the point is that despite not having my own kids I DO have an outside life. I have my family, partner and friends. I work so I can afford to be with them and for me working 24/7 defeats the purpose. I DO have obligations- they just aren't my own childern.
@@Arhimith
No, it’s not projection at all. You’re using that term incorrectly.
They feel entitled to other people’s time. Especially younger siblings and other family members. They assume they have nothing better to do and are obligated to watch the kids.
she legitimately admitted to thinking op is her personal servant... those parents need to fix that shit immediately
They should've fixed it *years* ago
I mean they're probably the reason why she is this way.
@@dimsufferer9951 - This. Ignorance is no excuse to bad parenting.
She's an adult
@@66DoodleGal exactly, and she was clearly never disciplined as a child or else this wouldn't be an issue
It’s crazy how sis is apparently so swamped with childcare that she needs her brother for frequent babysitting but still found the time to browse on Reddit.
And the post was found one hour since OP posted it, which I don’t think is nearly enough time for it to gain any sort of traction.
A friend probably saw it and recognized it!
You beat me to it: poor exhausted overworked Mom reading Reddit..and likely getting her nails done with the babysitting money she stiffed from OP! lol
Not to mention stalk him at the hotel on their vacation.
How come OP’s mom didn’t volunteer to mind her grandchildren? I bet she wanted to do adult things with her daughter while OP minded the kids.
I find it funny the sister spent more time trying to find op to babysit than actually watching her kids or enjoying the vacation
she's probably not enjoying motherhood. Three kids instead of one as planned probably is overwhelming and it sounds like she and her husband haven't gotten the discipline thing under control.
@@MsJubjubbird
Yeah I don't think she was ready for them at all. I feel kinda bad for her, but just for that. She needs to go to therapy or child counselling to figure a system out. Her behaviour is very immature and I think she was barely ready to be a Mother, so many people have kids for the sake of having kids as a milestone/trophy and don't realise how much work even ONE kid takes, or even money.
(I'm not blaming the kids, they didn't ask to be born and I also feel bad for them and hope they aren't neglected.)
They have the means to hire a vetted babysitter.
The thing is the kids are in school all day so she has time to herself,but wants more time in the evening to herself. What time are they making the kids go to bed? I think I heard they were 6 yrs old, but I could be wrong and their bedtime shouldn’t be later than 8:30-9pm. Maybe she should work something out with her husband so he can watch the boys one or two time during the week to give her time to herself. Sure he works, but so does she… trying to wrangle 3 kids is work!
@stirrednotshaken4837 she doesn't work lol she a sahm
Wow, the revelation that BIL thought OP's sister was paying him for babysitting and was not, sort of solidified for me that OP's sister is beyond entitled and is worthy of going NC with. It also sounds like the sister learned this from mom.
Yeah I can see his face when OP must have told him he wasn't being paid, then he did the right thing in making Sis pay OP all the money he was owed and stood up for OP when he refused to babysit
@@rebeccaabram2312 Yep. Sounds like Brother in law was literally the ONLY one on OP's side when he caught wind of what was going on.
@@rebeccaabram2312lol. I can imagine SIS face when BIL realized that she was pocketing the babysitting money.
What with all of the lies & manipulating sis did, I just don't see her marriage lasting long! I'll bet he's examining the past few years looking for where she did it to Him!
@@marshawargo7238 Same here. In fact, I think there was an update that OP made where Brother in law is considering a divorce. And I honestly hopes he goes through with it. He and his kids deserve better.
Op had one more post. His mother and sister saw the last post, sister called crying saying he made her look like a bad mother and OP replied with, "Well if the glass slipper fits!". Mother showed up at his door demanding he delete the posts and OP told her no and said he had ammunition for one more and she ended up leaving crying. Lol it got to the point where the sister had a "No one love me!" pity party after their parents told her to stop blaming OP and leave him alone after OP called them to say he will never go back to the previous family dynamic.
He also apologised to his BIL, who legitimately seems to be over her shit... to the point that a divorce might happen.
@@goawayleavemealone2880 Oh wow we might need more videos on this if there are more stories and yea all this time I wan thinking BIL needs to divorce and take the kids.
Why are they still looking at the posts which by the way doesn't mention their names?! Gluttons for punishment I say.
@@neoncrossGRIMEAGLEthis!! It’s an anonymous story. They are doing it all to themselves!
@@goawayleavemealone2880 In 15 years a Reddit post will be made by triplets that were raised by their uncle after their mom and dad divorced and abandoned them.
Unless you're hiring a nanny/ au pair and paying them a good wage, your kids are your responsibility. Family doesn't owe you free childcare. If you don't want to raise kids, don't have them. Kids deserve better than lazy parents who pawn them on anyone available.
I'd never go on vacation with this family again. Pay for your own vacation and go somewhere you like.
I agree with you. When will lazy parents learn that they're not entitled to free childcare and the children are THEIR responsibility?
Why do so many people think that you owe them on this. I never asked anybody to keep an eye on my children when I went somewhere that is my responsibility I gave birth to them not other people.
@@barbarahoilman9517 because they're entitled AHs. Thank you so much for not being this way. I'm sure your friends and family thank you too
Having children (and being able to afford them) is a privilege, no one owes parents any special treatment.
If OP were to have a family someday it’s an easy bet his sister would never babysit his kids.
Anyone else feeling second hand exhaustion for OP? He just wants to have his own life and enjoy his own vacation, but has to work so hard to keep boundaries,
I am. Poor guy. His sister must be so exhausting to deal with. Which is why I think he should consider limiting contact with her for a while, a very LONG while.
Omg so bad! But while it was exhausting, it was a really good "first step" of setting and enforcing his boundaries, so hopefully not needing to be repeated, or if it is, it's only a "reminder" as it were. Poor OP!
@@franceskitching5701 The truth is that some battles can't be avoided. They have to be fought as a show of strength and solidarity. At some point, you can't just TELL them, "NO MORE." You have to show them.
I'd just go NC at that point.
Been there. Not similar with this one but I keep arguing with some family members and no one is backing down. At least when arguing with a stranger we can separate way and never meet again. Arguing with family? You have to meet with them every year 🥴
The final update just proves that his sister hasn't learned a thing and likely won't change anytime soon, but good on OP for firmly enforcing and maintaining his boundaries.
Yeah. I'm glad OP stood up for himself and I'm also glad husband caught on and reigned his wife in. I hope he divorces her soon.
@@PrincessQ-fj9ly Oh c'mon, Princess. Life would be a lot worse for all 5 of them if he divorces her. Better this way: now he knows what she's been up to, and he obviously has the cojones to rein her in and straighten her out. Good for him, and good for her and the kids in the long run. As she apparently IS trainable.....
@@rickraber1249is she though? She still kept trying again and again. I wouldn't be surprised if she becomes genuinely abusive to her own kids.
@@rickraber1249 You make a good point. Maybe he can leave her once the triplets are all grown up. I'm just worried that she'll start taking it out on her triplets since she clearly doesn't want them.
@@void405 That's exactly why I hope Brother in law divorces OP's sister. I'm afraid she's going to start being abusive to her triplets.
The sister has issues.... Seriously. Like how is everyone not disturbed by her commitment not to watching her own children?
And the fact that even when reprimanded the first time, she KEPT GOING! It's like she was desperate to make everyone else miserable just so they could try to force OP back into his role to "magically" make her happy and less stressed, lowering the stress of the group. Talk about manipulation. How desperate is she to pawn her kids off? Makes me wonder how badly they behave with just her (or how she perceives it), how involved hubby is beyond breadwinning, and how much she hates OP.
I have a sister that, for a time, was just as manipulative as Op's sister. At one point it is not about what she wants it's the fact that she can't force him to do what she wants. Its a power dynamic of a crazy narrcascist who just lost all control.
What about the husband/father!? Why put all the responsibilities on the mom?
It is SO annoying that this “keep the peace” bullshit REMAINS SOLELY for the people who are NOT the source of the problem
Thank god OP stood up for himself
And just because someone is single does not mean they’re suddenly free childcare or whatever the hell kinda nonsense someone wants to heap onto them
My god part of this was a bit like deju vu though .y family didnt dk the stalking or screaming mabe acted az if i had no life even the babysitting in hols and having to go along with the couples (though jt was me and my child) however what was i saz pYing for the privaludge the same as everyone else but fof the communal roon wuth sbared bathroom and kids in the luving room infrom of my room when u refused to take them so in essence i was still dealing with them.
It was incredibly naive to think the sister would do right. She literally stipped you out of money to babysit when she had it to give, and lied to her husband about it. She really tried to victimize herself--boo hoo hoo I can't have time to myself, I'm so burnt out boo hoo hoo. When she could have paid OP or a sitter.
An apology isn't a cure-all. I wouldn't care if she apologized. I'd never trust her again.
Sister: "I need a break!"
Sure. Pick a leg.
BIL gave her babysitting money. She could've hired a sitter to get a little "me time" occasionally. Such entitlement!
@@terriwetz6077 hmmm. I wonder what happened to the money.
@@Sherwoody Sure didn't go towards therapy! 😁
@@terriwetz6077probably spent it on herself
If sister keeps this up, she might get hit with a (not so) shocking divorce. Hearing about how OP’s mother acting, now I’m not surprised why his sister acts like this. Idk why OP’s dad and BIL married them.
I think the husband is seeing sides of her he didn't see before and he can't unsee them. he's realizing that he married a complete narcissist.
And she’ll blame op for it and demand op “make it up” to her
That’s what I thought. Mum has taught the daughter the manipulative ways!
Because they didn't have kids at the time, that's why.
@@LilFeralGangrel BIL doesn’t seem to be an involved parent. He seems to be content to bring home the money, but leave child rearing to his wife who’s trying to pass that job on to someone else.
With entitled and manipulative relatives like these you don't want to do any family vacations.
hence I haven't gone on one since graduating university
Tell them you'll meet them there, then go to a completely different destination. ahahhaha
You know what’s nuts? If the sister had just taken ownership the Internet, Reddit specifically, would have praised the ever living hell out of her. Would have went on and on and on about how awesome it was they she owned her shit but no …she double, triple, and quadruple downed.
I know, right? She just continued to play the victim! She seriously needs to grow up!
@@lynprincevalli5221 Some people refuse to lose. One place I worked, when one of my coworkers lost a power struggle over who controlled the union local, she quit her job.
What was the power struggle over? Who got to control the local - her little clique, or the membership.
The hotel hall stalking was unhinged. I would have told Sis she's building background for a restraining order and excused myself to go speak to hotel security about preserving hallway footage. Likely no need to follow through on that, just say it to try to force "I am a person, not your property" into her head via fear of the law.
You make a seriously valid point!
OP made his point on that vacation. They’re not going to pull the same crap on him again because he won’t let them, and if they do then he’ll have his vacation by himself.
I think going on that vacation was a perfect way to show them he wasn't going to be a pushover any more, avoiding the vacation just drags it out further until they feel they can force him to go and try again.
This was the quickest and best way to adjust their behavior.
@@streamerssaymyname I agree with you. I understand the people who told OP to just cut his losses, but better to face the problem head on than drag it out and delay the inevitable.
It's so not about not trusting strangers to babysit, she put her everything into making sure her brother would be the one and even made sure he wouldn't get payed. The whole thing was some crazy powerplay to her where he can't say no. And she was crazy about it not working anymore. I think that's on the parents, spoil the child and ruin them forever.
The parents actually created this monster of a sister.
Forced to play babysitter cuz parents are irresponsible and pathetic…DISGUSTING
It seems like only OPs' sister is irresponsible and lazy. BIL seemed to be under the impression that OP was being paid for his services.
@@goawayleavemealone2880 what did she do with the money that BIL thought was for babysitting?
@@Sherwoody Her nails, hair, legs, and lunch wiþ her mommy friends and token single woman.
23 years old and still tied to "family vacations" is pathetic. Especially when he doesn't like the family idea of 'togetherness' which involves him babysitting.
@@Kayenne54What? You can want to spend time with your family without wanting to have to babysit.
Especially when nobody asked you to babysit beforehand and they expect you to do it for free, without pretty much any time off to do what you wanna do. And with the cherry on top have a bunch of crotch goblins to share a room with since the actual parents "want a room of their own".
It's a positive development that instead of avoiding the issue, OP got the ball rolling and actually made his parents realize he won't just keep the peace and that he won't just be a free babysitter to his entitled sister
What I don’t get is why OP’s mom is so OK with treating her son like this… why does she just want her youngest child to be a servant to the oldest?
Golden Child.
@@goawayleavemealone2880 Bingo
Favoritism is strong in the Mother 😒
@@goawayleavemealone2880 🛎🛎🛎🛎🛎🛎🛎🛎🛎 we have a winner.
The way OP kept having to remind his mother and them that he was a grown ass adult makes me think they're so used to him being the younger kid under their thumb that they can't grasp that he IS an adult now. Probably not much different from some parents who joke that someone is "the baby of the family" even when they're drinking age, but actually treats them like a kid that just has to obey. Was a good thing OP moved out, because that probably helped shift parents' thinking, too, that he's grown up and not their kid they can boss around all the time anymore. The insistence on OP continuing the same roles he had when he was under their roof, though... yeah, that's a bit baffling. OP made adult decisions, and I'd bet some of mom's tears were because her "baby" is an adult now and she has to come to terms with that.
I can't believe that after everything, the sister STILL stalked OP to his hotel room! Then she tries to play the victim?? Just.. wow. I'd never go on another family vacation with them again.
If she was so busy how did she have time to stalk his room?
Some people simply cannot accept defeat.
I heard this whole saga. Glad op finally got his money and the vacation he deserved. Just a shame it took being dragged on reddit for the parents to realize they were wrong. But at least they are on ops side.
The parents are only sorry they got publicly roasted. He shouldn't trust them.
Well, at least the dad. OP's mom seems like she's still trying to weasel in with her old manipulation tactics, testing OP. Glad he stood firm.
There was another post. Oop's sister was furious about the vacation update and cried to mommy about it. Then their mother was at oop's door demanding he take the posts down.
@@Sylphella where is the update?
@@Sylphella Oh FFS. OP should block his mother, put her in timeout for at least a month. And go NC with the sh*t-ster permanently.
While I believe parents with triples have it hard and can appreciate all the help they can get, they are not entitled to it. Disrespecting a person helping you for refusing disrespect certainly makes parents an a$$hole.
Absolutely! My niece had twins and when they were 2 she had her third boy followed a year and a half later by their girl (yes, they are done, lol). Her parents helped as did her brothers, myself and my daughter, but it was ALWAYS appreciated and never just expected! My niece and her hubby mostly just needed helped when it came to work, the rest of the time they had their children with them as they knew it was their responsibility responsibility
While there are problematic children, 90% of the times it's bad parenting. My sister has 3 boys and while the are sometimes naughty like all children, they don't usually give problems because my sister and BIL taught them morals, manners, respect ...
@@heraclito3114 spot on! I might even up that percentage to 95!
I have 3 sets of twins with not so far age gap, yes it is hard. Because i know that it's hard that i didnt want to bother others with my children. I wouldnt want to pass on the hardship on my siblings just so that i could enjoy vacation while they dont. I wanted the kids, so they're my responsibilities. My parents gave birth like what? 14 kids and some of them are sets of triplets and twins. We never had to be second parents or babysitters for younger siblings.
So proud of OP for holding firm and not backing down! So glad the BIL put his wife in her place and made her pay her brother for the babysitting and stopped her from harassing OP. Glad he also told his mom to knock it off he wasn’t going to be their doormat anymore. OP has gotten a great shiny spine 😊
Bribed with Pizza? Pathetic…what she’s asking for will cost MUCH more than pizza
if you add literally all the toppings, that'd cost the pretty penny. especially if its a sheet pizza, which i would have done lol
OP was tired of being the scapegoat and put the golden child in her place. I'm so proud of him. I'm so happy he managed to reinforce his boundaries. I'd ditch his mom and sis but that's up to him, not me.
WOW the sister's actions just scream "How to say you regret having your children without saying you regret having your children".
Yeah the more she keeps whining about taking care of the boys it sounds like she just doesn't want to be a mother. All the more reason the BIL should divorce her and take the children with him.
@@truthseeker9249according to a new latest update that well may happen
If the BIL just keeps hiding at work all the time, I doubt he wants them either. @@truthseeker9249
Can we have a round of applause for OP's shiny new spine, he shut down both his sister and his mother, and no one is talking about it, but its obvious where the sister got it from. The mother was literally just as bad, sister learned how to cry on command from the mother, I bet that is exactly where sister's entitled streak came from. I don't believe it was that sister didn't trust strangers at all, not when it was revealed not only was she forcing OP to be her babysitter, but she was pocketing the money BIL was giving her to give to him for herself. That is just a whole new layer of scummy. Good on the BIL for shutting down that toxic behavior and standing up to his wife. This is when a spouse SHOULDN'T have your side no matter what, when you're being a greedy and manipulative asshole. You know, if sister actually paid OP like she was supposed to, OP might of even kept babysitting, but now he'll likely refuse out of principle, which he should. Hell, even knowing the jig was up sister still kept trying to sneak off and bully her brother alone, she still didn't learn her lesson!
Man, when the mom started crying and saying, "You're right." I went, " I know I'm right, " and then Op says it.
Wow. Talk about not understanding the word NO. Poor guy. His family is wildly dysfunctional but he has managed well in spite of. He's a badass in my book.
I can just picture the OP getting on the elevator, getting off on the wrong floor, taking the stairs down one flight, walking to another hallway and grabbing a different elevator to his floor like a spy trying to shake a tail.
I tried humming the Pink Panther theme while reading your comment. It fits.
OP grew a titanium spine!! Awesome!! everyone learn from op! dont let anyone stomp on your boundaries. You all got this!! I believe in all of you
OP's sister is an entitled golden child. It seemed like OP was treated as the life long flunky for sister. Parents still continues to see OP as a kid with no autonomy. Good on OP for standing up to be counted. Just because a person is family member it doesn't automatically follow that they can be used and abused. Free will is not an idea, but an innate fact.
It sucks when parents won't let you leave the kids' table and join the adults. They get used to keeping someone in that spot, so the youngest stays there and becomes the clean-up crew or wrangler for the new generation of kids at the kids' table. Sucks.
I was an only child, and younger than all my cousins on one side. Even into my 30s I never quite succeeded in making it to the adults' table. It's why when my dad was gonna go visit his friends and their families and have me tag along, I finally just stopped going. Not much fun to drive a long way and sit there and barely be able to join in on the conversation or activities, so I hung out at Starbucks every holiday for hours to avoid it. It was far more enjoyable to people-watch, strike up 5-minute convos with travelers, and enjoy some good hot coffee while writing stories or catching up on reading. Far less lonely.
I’m a Gen x and many of my 6 aunts dumped their kids on one another then us cousins with no payment of even asking. That’s my experience with boomers. They didn’t raise their kids and their kids haven’t raised their own. Don’t have KIDS if you don’t want to have them 24/7
But they are quick to judge you for not having a kid for some reason
I'm Gen X and my parents were boomers and I was responsible for everyone younger then me including cousins and siblings. I raised my daughter, and 4 of my nieces and nephews, and I am at the point where I am all about me
@@kb1073 I lived that. I wasn't even the oldest cousin, but somehow I got saddled with keeping younger cousins out of everyone's hair. And adulthood didn't get me out of it. If I wanted to be part of adult convo, there was this look on the Boomers' faces; that thinly-veiled look of "you're a kid and this is adult time now." I couldn't believe even in my 20s I was metaphorically shoved to the kiddie table. It's no wonder I ended up chatting with my pre-teen and teen cousins and grandparents when they were still around the most at gatherings. My older cousins were permitted to be adults, but I wasn't. Guess the parents thought I liked hanging around younger cousins--I just didn't wanna sit in the corner, lonely and miserable. I eventually ducked out of every gathering after that--felt less lonely hanging out at Starbucks on holidays, talking with complete strangers and people-watching.
Maybe that's why I do pretty good at tutoring--I learned not to talk down to children just because they're young, because I know how that feels when you're older.
OP handled it perfectly. This is how you handle entitled people in your life, don’t tolerate their nonsense. The sister one of the most entitled people I’ve ever heard of on Reddit. He needs to go low contact with this family.
Oh well, at least he and the Reddit community have knocked some cold, hard reality into the parents, and now the sister is upset because no one is enabling her anymore and Reddit is berating for her rotten behavior.
@@BersealiaDreamheart Yeah, I consider that a win if you ask me. OP should still consider going low contact with his sister at least.
Oh of course you're one of _those_ guys 😂🤦♀️
Stop dodging the question mark. When did you start diddling kids? Is it because you were touched too?
@@ACAB.forcutie of course you one of those women. You think someone owes you something just because you exist.
My main sadness from this story is that the family doesn't seem to be picking up on just how fractured this relationship really is. Like if OP is having to go to these lengths in the final update then it shows the complete lack of trust OP has with them, to anyone else this would be the time to panic and try to repair the relationship but the mum and sister keep pushing when they seem to be hanging on by a thread.
I think this will become one of those situations where OP lessens contact slowly but surely.
Thank you, Mark, for reading and commenting on this story.
I read the story at Reddit, when it only had 1 update. What an entitled sister he has!
Oh op, your sister and mother's drama aren't over yet. This is the start. They will do this again but try to do in sneaky within getting caught. Op, try go LC on them if they pull stunts again.
When the mother tried to give OP a look to guilt him into watching the kids, I would've said "oh look! Grandma just volunteered to watch them!"
I don't understand why the grandmother didn't help watch her grandsons if she was that committed to letting her bratty woman child daughter have some child free time on vacation!
@@cheryljackson7908 I mean OP _did_ say that their mom was helping, but how much if sis was still complaining, you know? Or maybe they were helping a lot and it was never actually about taking care of her brats, but controlling OP 🤷♀️
@@ACAB.forcutie I think you hit it on the head. It was a power move. Probably resents OP for not having kids yet and still having a wide variety of options for his life while her being a mom to triplets has shrunk her choices quite a bit. So she's punishing him for not having to live her life 24/7 and figures if she can't live her life the way she wants, her brother doesn't deserve to, either. She's a bloody selfish person.
Now that he's the fun uncle he should start buying gifts for his nephews that will forever agitate their mother.
Get one kid a drum, the second a kazoo, and the third a xylophone. Revenge is a meal best served cold.
Posts like this just make me so thankful that my parents have always accepted my childfree stance and that my sister doesn't try to constantly push her son on me
the sister is upset that RUclipsrs like Marky read it out
Mark reads out the entire thing and updates
Mark is a slayer
I sympathize with being exhausted by kids, especially triplets, but hire a nanny. Find summer camps, join swim lessons or art classes where you drop the kids off. The thing you don't do is expect family to take the role of third parent for you.
My thoughts exactly! I think it goes without saying, but if you can't handle children then DON'T HAVE CHILDREN!
I'd love to know how much her husband actually does. OP mentioned that he kind of stayed at the office during the worst of the blow-ups, so I wonder if he is one of those guys who takes every assignment that will keep him late just to avoid going home (knew 1 or 2 like that--ended in divorce, too)? Sister keeps talking about how exhausted she is dealing with the kids, and hubby just said "I'm tired, too" on the vacation, but in day-to-day life? I definitely wanna know.
@@tallyp.7643 Me too. Although I wouldn't be surprised if she dumps the children on him the moment he gets home from work while she does whatever she wants kinda like what she did with OP.
I understand that triplets must take a lot of work, and may well have been a surprise, but it sounds as if the sister and BIL are well-off enough to afford a nanny.
The thing is the sister shot herself in the foot with an all or nothing attitude. If she'd actually asked OP to watch the kids for a reasonable amount of time that gave him the time to still pursue his interests and was appreciative of the effor, she'd have help for years to come.
Took way to long to find this comment. However, based on the mom I don't think OP being sister's servant was new, since long before the kids came into the picture. Which would also explain why OP put up with it as long as he did.
It's really nice when we get an OP with a good backbone and self-respect to not take the a-holes bs.
I love reading stories with people that have spines of shiny chrome. So satisfying
Remember the sister not only forced him to babysit but she also lied to her husband and stole brothers babysit money. Narcissist much?
OP posted another update today. Sister and Mother saw the post vacation post.
I cannot fathom why they keep on looking at the damned post if it upsets them so much. It’s anonymous, it’s just strangers on the internet! Why do they care so much what randos have to say?
@@DoritoBot9000 Pain shopping. More than that, sister's probably looking for that unicorn poster who will validate her feelings and declare OP the a-hole and that she's a saint for putting up with him. Too bad for her.
my mom has 3 young kids not including me and she has never, ever tried to pawn them off on her siblings or family during vacations, and she still enjoys all of our trips.
Good for your mom. That is the way to be. Like your mom, I never really had a vacation while my kids were young, 'cause I always still had to take care of my family. But it was still fun to go to new places. As a parent it was so much fun to see my kids enjoying themselves.
Yeah, my mum never asked anyone to watch us and never complained. She practically raised us on her own because Dad worked nights.
OP should've stayed at a completely separate hotel or B&B. It would have been even less stressful and more private. I knew the sister was going to try to find him in the same hotel.
It truly was OPs mother who had raised her daughter to be just like her. With all the guilting tactics as well.
Mark i understand the "what do they bring to the table sentiment. I think it's op's nephews. He loves them. He just does not want to be the on call baby sitter.
Hey Mark, the guy made one last update I won’t spoil things but I can give an opinion of someone who been in a similar situation and has a relative like the sister. Sister really needs to grow up and her parents need to be on her ass before she ends up very, very lonely.
Can you post a link?
Would have loved to know what ops father thought of all this. especially with his wife continuing trying to guilt op several times
22:19 It was not about the vacation, it was about sending a message. 🤣
Found your channel two weeks ago and have officially watched almost every single video you have put out😅 I live for your videos now.
I cant get past that her kids are triplets and old enough to be in school. So she doesn't have to deal with them for several hours during the week. So out for a few hours alone while they're in school! And PAY for a babysitter the other times!
If four adults can't wrangle three kids, they need some serious parenting training.
Three kids ... Are adjoining rooms no longer a thing? Two full size beds adjacent to another room would have solved the kid issue. Harder to misbehave when mom and dad are through an open door.
You can bet it was done on purpose to keep them from the noise and mom could feign ignorance that her kids were causing OP problems, at least for a while.
Why did OP's sister have kids if she only wants to push them on her brother? What's wrong with their parents and also his BIL for marrying her? She stole from her husband and her brother? BIL needs to divorce this thief and selfish non mother, and OP needs to leave his trash relatives except BIL. All they care about is their image. The mother refuses to babysit her grandkids 😂 Why is he going on vacay with these trash again?
This is what I find hilarious about some potential parents. They think parenthood will be this grand fantasy world; they'll get more attention for being parents and they'll have these little "dolls" that they can play with and dress up. But then the kids finally come along and they're hit with a harsh dose of reality: The majority of any incoming money has to go to the kids, you get very little to no time to yourself or to enjoy with your partner, and (GASP) being a parent actually requires a lot of exhausting work.
@@whitneybennett4857 I used to have that belief, admittedly enough. 😅 But once my youngest paternal cousin came into the picture, I got a first-hand look that parenthood isn't not for the faint of heart. That's also why I want to at least be well established before I even get married, much less have children.
@@PrincessQ-fj9ly In my early 20's, I think I kind of had that mindset, too. Amazingly enough, once my husband and I were in our late 20's (we married at 20 and 21) we finally decided it was best if we didn't have kids (We're both actually autistic. Not severely so, but enough to where it has messed with our lives a fair amount prior to us meeting.) Now we're in our early 30's and because of that decision, our marriage is still going strong! (I'm definitely not saying NO marriage can survive kids, but many can't, especially considering my own bio dad bailed when I was still a baby.)
@@PrincessQ-fj9ly are you a princess?
I think the OP went on the vacation with his family to show them he would spend time with them but wouldn't be a servant for them. I do think this will be the last time OP goes on a summer vacation with his family.
Reminds me of what my sister attempted to do with myself when family visited me for a vacation last year.
Needless to say, I put my sister in her place with the help of my BIL any time she tried.
Don't want to take care of your kids, don't have them.
As a parent I can't ever imagine expecting anyone/everyone else to take care of MY child. It's mind blowing to me.
That mother though! Still trying to manipulate OP till the end. It’s clear who the golden child is.
As for BIL, I’m not sure how I feel about him. At first I was happy and wanted to cheer when he got sister to apologize. But then I got to thinking …for sister to be scolded and put in her place like a child? Not that she didn’t need it but…that’s not a partnership, that’s a parent-child relationship. Why did he take so long to deal with his own kids?
Why don't the grandparents watch the triplets for their daughter so she can have a break? If it's so important to them.
Tears don’t move me- that’s gangster
I fully support ppl that are child free and put they foot down and not be used as a free babysitter. The nerve of sister kept the money, asking to watch her kids, and stalked him. And then the mother….omg
Good lawd, my mom used to volunteer me for all sorts of babysitting. Ugh. She now wonders why I avoid her but she still behaves entitled.
I kept asking myself over and over again, why is OP even going on holiday with these people? Do your own holiday and leave them to their own devices.
He is still Part of Family!
So? Doesn’t mean he has to go on holiday with them.
I'm really proud of OP and how he set VERY strong boundaries.
Don't screw without protection unless you are ready to take care of kids yourself.
The sister had those kids with plans that she could dump them on family and likely the mom fed her that idea. Or the mom made claims when she had kids she owuld help then had second thoughts and decided the child free kid must help. Granted she probably wasn't planning on tiprlets but thats the dice roll she got.
The family have trashed OP's boundaries so rudely, that OP finally decided to put a stop to it. That is not easy to do. Good on you OP for standing up for yourself. Don't feel guilty about it ever. You just restored the balance the way it should have been from the start.
If OP's parents were smart, they will make this the last vacation for OP's sister and her husband because the sister's borderline shenanigans It's costing everyone including OP peace of mind during these vacations. She feels so extremely entitled that if she's not happy, nobody should be happy including her parents. I am glad OP is setting everyone right.
R'amen! I think you hit it on the head. Guess she figured her actions would put pressure on her parents to return to the status quo so they could enjoy things. Sister is the personification of "misery loves company"!
That sister is obsessive! I suspect a power play.
I had this happen to me. My family member had the audacity to hand me a dietary plan as well.
I venmo requested them the daily babysitting rate of the town we were in plus a premium for last minute booking. I told them their children were going to discover the joys of junk food, fried foods, and processed meat if I don't get paid.
I got paid.
Lmao! Magnificently done!
Every time sis complained that she doesn't get any time away from her kids, OP could have said, "This is something you need to discuss with your husband. How you two handle that is none of my business. I hope you two can work something out." Of course, OP takes a gold medal for showing an example to others of making a boundary, informing others of your boundary, and enforcing the ever-loving hell out of that boundary!
I was surprised that there were more updates. I don’t understand why they can’t hire a full time nanny if bil is so well off? Wouldn’t that just solve the problem? I do understand that OP is free lol but it’s obvious that’s not fair. Sister and bil chose to have kids, they’re responsible for them in the end.
Because if they did that then Sister can't pocket the money she's meant to be paying the person watching her kids
Well, OP did say his sister couldn't trust strangers with the kids. That's not really unusual, and she's kind of been conditioned to just expect OP to do it. With how Mom acted I highly doubt this dynamic started with the sister having kids either.
@@jakeand9020 ah, that’s what I get for not paying attention lol
Can't you just see the ad for a nanny? Wanted 24/7 nanny for three 6 year old boys on vacation, not a minute to yourself, no pay, parent and grandparent will turn on the tears if you don't give in to their every unreasonable demand. Hotel room with boys provided free. Test your ability to live in bedlam.
I would have left the second the mother started crying, doesn't sound like a fun vacation if all people see me as is a babysitter refusing to do the job then cry when i remind them to stop subjecting me to that. Probably could have cut contact too, but I know I'm a person with a very low threshold for continuous drama.
I get the feeling we will be getting another update. Sister's hubby is going to divorce her and take this whole vacation as evidence that she isn't fit to be a mom. Her kids will eventually pick up on the fact that she wants to dump them on her brother every time.
That could be one of the reasons (beyond their age) that they tend to be rowdy and a bit destructive. Kids can get the vibe when they're not quite wanted. I wonder how she treats them at home when she has no help. Does she yell at them? Ignore them? Try to have them play with neighbor kids at their house often as possible? Is she actually pretty good with them but hubby never is around to help, so she forces OP to do it b/c she can't get her hubby to (misdirected anger and a half that the kids can sense)? Would be good to know.
I feel like the sister's marriage will end someday when the boys are older...
There is one more update you missed that came out today, basically the mother and sister wailed at him for updating after the vacation and OP is adamant on never letting the situation revert back to how it was.
I love going to bed and seeing there's another video to listen to before i go to sleep. Cheers Mark!
I agree with Mark. I would’ve done my own vacation….yeah you made your point, but I really felt bad for the brother in law who was caught in the middle of the drama. Did you or anyone else think of him?
Why should his wife’s kid brother think of him? He couldn’t even fix his own situation but he should’ve been worried about someone else’s. Nah! BIL chooses to stay married to that narcissistic shrew so that’s on him not her little brother. The only thing that would’ve helped BIL is for OP to back down and allow his nasty sister to keep abusing his good nature and that was what the whole problem was so….what could OP have done differently?
He needs to divorce that crazy b***h and take the children with him.
He is the father of the kids and spouse to their crazy mother who he is actively married to, any drama that may occur should involve him as well as it is also HIS family.
considering he probably had to work a lot of hours to feed and clothe 5 people since wifey wasn't working, he just caught glimpses. Now with this vacation and OP letting all the cats out of the bag, he's getting a front row seat to how awful his wife's behavior is and now he definitely has to do something about it. It didn't affect him much because OP was always there. Now he has to step in and take a more active part. At least he seems willing, but I wonder how much wifey complained to him that she needed help (or did she never complain because she had OP as her pizza-money babysitter, in which case, he wouldn't know much)? He might turn out to be a stand-up guy. Just not enough info, sadly.
I will say this without getting in trouble if she thought having kids was too much work then she should have not had kids. (OP's sister that is)
Sounds like she’s never taken accountability for anything she doesn’t like in her life. She likely thought she could play the same game regarding child rearing by using OP, and for a while she did. Now that reality is catching up with her she is breaking down, I can’t help feeling bad for those triplets.
Exactly. Entitled af, parents can't just "take a vacation" when they choose to bring the kids along.... If they wanna be able to relax more fully? Simple, you hire a effing *BABYSITTER!*
I believe OP handled this very well. In every update, he enforced his boundaries and stood his ground every single time. He didn’t throw a tantrum, unlike his sister. He didn’t fall into hysterics like his mother. He didn’t ignore the situation like his brother-in-law (until he learned the truth). He didn’t allow an inch. Honestly, this was a master class in adulting! Great job OP!👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
Oh my god her pocketing the babysitting money to OP is the icing on the cake WTH how entitled can you be??
He’s a bit of a star isn’t he. They are his family and he’s drawn the line and isn’t letting them over it now. Fantastic. Best for them too
Still doing the family vacation at end was - in my opinion - a good move. It forced the family to face and accept they were serious - especially while it was still something OP was firmly resolved to enforce. Avoidance would leave it always in the back of the mind about "what will happen next time we're together" and cause more stress. Also, after a delay family could use the "but it's been so long, just do it this once" card or OP's guard could have dropped enough he'd fall for the "just watch them for a few minutes" tactic. This way, the family has hit the wall and knows OP is serious which should greatly reduce future drama and give them a firmer foundation to resist if something comes up again in future.
I'm still going to say this,
I'm a mother and would never force anyone to watch my kid. My kid is my responsibility alone. If I ask and they say no, that is fine. You are allowed to refuse watching someone else's kids, and no one is entitled to your help.
I’m glad he went on the vacation. He set boundaries and his family started respecting them. Brothers and sisters relationships are always complicated. Doesn’t mean you don’t love them or want to spend time with them. My oldest brother and I could not get along as children but we are so much closer now. Early adulthood was our time of adjustment. And it sounds like that is what’s going on here. My only question is why didn’t the triplets father take charge once a week so his wife could have time off to do something by herself. Take art lessons, go to a spa, go shopping by herself, spend time with family or friends, or even enjoy a movie without having to take the children. She might even enjoy going to a museum with just her and her brother.
Do not give in. Your sister had 3 children with her husband. It is not your circus and those are not your flying monkey. Child care is her problem not your. Get up and leave when she starts her crap and don't come back till bedtime. Enjoy that vacation.
I think OP did a good thing for himself. He wanted a relationship with his family in a NON-toxic way so he used the vaccay to teach them. He stood firm with that witch of a sister (and toxic enabling mum). Such growth standing up for himself. Well done.
she doesnt even NEED you to watch her kids, she is trying to make you do it simply as a win because you managed to buck her once about it. This is an ego game for her, because she is narcissistic
I have 2 kids, one of whom has autism and intellectual disability. As an adult, he functions as a preschooler.
Growing up, my disabled son was very hyperactive and hard to communicate with.
We had no vacations ever, as we didn't have family help at all. I did most of the child care on vacation, but my husband relieved me regularly.
When you have kids, that's the drill. Sis needs to hire baby sitters for regular times for a break.
The sister stepped over the line. Habitually. She's a habitual line-stepper.
"She needs a break" no. She needs to understand one simple fact: her children, her responsablility. Hers, and her husband.
I remember this story and my opinion remains the same. The sister feels jealous that the op is childless and carefree.
OP has just finished college and started working full time. That’s why he was at home for so long. The family hasn’t accepted that he’s an adult now.
OP having to tip toe around and still avoid babysitting is so dumb. If the sister ditches the kids just call CPS instead of harrassing the hotel staff. This was the most half assed attempt at putting your foot down I've ever heard.
OP was one step ahead of them lmao not surprised if the husband and dad are both tired and just stepped aside everytime because that emotionally and mentally exhausted from it. And ofc she got it from the mom.
Anyone else think the entitled sister is a high risk for cheating? Pocketing the money she was supposed to give her sister and lying about it to her husband is a crimson flag.
OP is a guy.