I haven't gotten to the update for the first story yet, but I can guarantee that there was nothing OP said that "insulted" the bride. I bet the reason is what OP mentioned, that he's fat, and the bride didn't want him to "ruin the look" of photos and the reason friend gave OP is an excuse to cover for it.
After reading the update(s): I'm glad that he was able to reflect on himself/his friendship and did what he had to do to better himself + figured out who his true friends are. I hope he's still doing well to this day. I had a relationship with a friend sort of like that, I did everything I could for her, but not really getting *anything* in the end for it. When she decided to try outing me to my parents, we had a cry over how hurt I was she did that, only for her to out me to her grandmother... I yanked back pretty quickly, and as soon as she saw she was losing me, she blocked me + my best friend she'd met through me. Long ramble over, good for OP for taking the advice of reddit seriously and making life better for himself.
Honestly if I was one of the mutual friends between OP and the groom I would think “yeesh, this is the type of friend the groom is?” and distance my own self away from the groom and that friendship and be better friends with OP. There is no way someone who treats their best friend like a doormat would treat any of their other “lesser” friends any better
Seriously. I probably would have talked to him about it beforehand. Not having your best friend be at minimum in your wedding party is a major yikes. Especially if all your other friends in the friend group are.
@@Uneclipsed The fact the friends cared more about him than his best friend tells a lot about the best friend. Hopefully no one of that friend group likes the groom anymore after he used his “best friend” as an unpaid slave at his wedding instead of fighting for him to even be a groomsman let alone be a normal guest at the wedding…
@@LilySaintSin check mark off the list of friends. Like his friends appreciated his help with their friend’s wedding than the actual friend himself, who didn’t communicate with OP until HE was the one who contacted him about the money owed
I hope when the husband reaches out to OP to sob about his marriage woes, OP just says: ‘sorry maybe, bit busy at the moment, I’ll get back to you’ and doesn’t. When husband reaches out to OP for money, I hope OP just says: ‘sorry mate bit short at the moment, I’ll get back to you when I’ve got some cash’ and doesn’t.
@@arnatar2086 i think they will. They showed it during the wedding And I'm 100% certain after they found out all that happened they gave the groom a new one. In one of his lines OP says the groom tried to get Imin touch with him several times and was ignored, so I'm guessing OP real friends were less polite than OP
Story 1, It's an awful thing to realize that you are not your best friends best friend. It's also awful to realize ppl you thought you were cool with don't like you. I've been there and I'm sorry this happened but it's good it happened because now he knows where he stands with them.
It's common for your best friend not be yours. Nothing wrong with that. Just because you see a person as your best friend doesn't mean you have to be theirs
@@manxiefeathermoon9888 Well...yeah, you do. The whole point of BFFs Forever is that it's supposed to be mutual. If it's not, then neither of you is the other's best friend.
Story 1: I feel like the OP is giving himself a long-winded justification to avoid confrontation. I understand not wanting to cause a big fight, but standing up for yourself is not inviting negativity.
I have the feeling that this poor guy has been beaten down his entire life to the point that he couldn't stand up for himself. That any overture of friendship is like rain in the desert so to say anything that might even be construed as hurtful would feel like he's being an ungrateful person. He's most likely to have been abused and bullied by both peers and family. I'm so happy he's in therapy and it sounds like he's trying to stay as good natured as he was. I hope for nothing but the best for him and pray Karma gives the rest what they deserve.
Maybe, but confrontation doesn't always go the way you want it to. If you aren't good at it, it can backfire. He chose a different path and it seems to have worked for him. His ex best friend was barely a footnote in his final update. And that's a satisfying ending, even if it wasn't dramatic.
I was volunteered at a wedding for a couple of my wife's friends a few years ago. Turned out that I had to set up, run a barbecue for three hours (missed the ceremony) help my wife take care of a kitchen and then do tear down after the wedding. Technically they still owe me money for all the things I needed to run and buy to get the wedding to run correctly because they couldn't plan worth a damn. To this day I don't talk to these people. I will be cordial but I don't talk to him. Nothing like getting used by a "friend" of yours to kill that friendship. This is an expensive lesson learned.
Man, I am so glad OP found his own way. I'm glad he was able to get reimbursed without falling into what would've been bitter pettiness for his character. I'm glad OP had real friends at the wedding asking "wtf." I'm glad his former friend is in the "finding out" phase of his "fucked around." I hope he complains to mutual friends and gets told off.
This will bring a Shadow over the Marriage. "Remember the Usher at your Wedding? Hows he doing?" Married Couple:"ehm...we dont know." Until People around them realize, that they are too disposble.
I feel heartbroken for OP. Glad this situation is now all in his past and he's continuing to be an even better person than he was. He was the best friend that anyone could have asked for.
OP sounds like an incredible person who is able to think things through really well. I’m so sad for him that his best friend treated him horribly, but the fact that he’s able to come out the other side of this in such a positive way is tremendous.
Story 1: I would never treat my friends nor let anyone I’m dating treat my friends like that. OP doesn’t deserve it, and should see the situation as it is, no matter how painful, his supposed best friend chose a girl over their relationship and isn’t acting like a very good friend to him at all despite his willingness to help out cause that’s what best friends do.
Story: OP is the designated doormat of the friend group. My friends used to act in a similar manner, till I stood up and said I dont need your crap shows and sob stories. Friends are overrated.
Those buttholes are overrated and they were not real "friends" to you, just hangers-on and users. Real friends don't hurt each other on purpose like that.
That sucks I was in the same situation in school and I walked away from them. as an adult with 2 great trustworthy friends I realized I just trusted in the wrong people
If the OP has always been this blatantly used by this guy as one of those kind of really sweet so eager to please people, then you can believe he has not treated him like this for the first time surrounding his wedding. This has probably been a theme during this so-called friendship. I would be willing to bet money that the groom has always used the OP as long as they’ve known each other. Where the OP saw friendship, the so-called friend saw somebody that he could use. And remember for the OP, for your ex friend this is his future. He’s married to this woman now that’s a good punishment to start! They didn’t deserve you.
Get the money back and move on. These people are so cruel. Sometimes things get misinterpreted, but I don't think this is. I don't see how bride and groom couldve not understood how horrible this was.
Very disappointing update. Cool cool cool, you've grown as a person, blah blah lol. But what about the almost $600? You could easily take that to small claims court with the receipts and texts asking you to do all that nonsense. They'll just think it's ok otherwise and continue to do it to others.
"When you find the right people, there is no chase." I really needed to hear that. I have been trying so hard to people please. To make friends with mutuals when they don't care for me much. Thank you for reading!
I'm so sorry that OP did not have the good friend he thought he did. I'm glad he is distancing from that idiot groom and not responding to him. Real friends are the ones who commiserated with him during and after the wedding. So glad he is moving on and feeling much better about himself.
Story 1: I have that "helpfulness" insecurities, extending myself until I break. I've had to make myself learn to be selfish when appropriate and build walls up around myself. I let my wedding crumble under the insecurity of money and savings that it looked as bare as a school gymnasium. Should've had a bonfire at a family member's house, less maintenance and more homely
I wouldn’t have even gone to the wedding. His “friend” isn’t a real friend. He CLEARLY didn’t stand up for OP and that speaks volumes about their relationship.
This story hurt and angered me and I wasn't even the one going through it, but the update makes me happy. The groom just lost a grade A friend and a person who sounds like an absolute delight to be around. I love the absolute maturity and growth he displayed and how he refused to allow them to make him lose his composure and spark. I genuinely wish that Op continue to grow and find happiness in the friends who cares for him. The groom will wake up one day and regret losing such a great friend and I hope that feeling sticks in the corner of his mind like an annoying fly.
Agree with you. The way OP has stayed true to his authentically kind nature yet put up proper boundaries up to protect against those whose authentic nature is to take advantage is fantastic. Part of me thinks OPs weight loss is the reason the "best friend" keeps reaching out to him is now he's cool enough to be seen in public together. Just happy OP saw the truth of the "best friends" character.
OP did perfectly! I totally get him because I've been there so many times. Doing way more than the other party and it being unappreciated. Not being bitter and moving on was the key. He's working on himself and understanding he's amazing and deserves better. You love to see it 🙌🏾🙌🏾
I hope OP’s friend realizes what kind of friend he lost by letting his new wife treat OP like crap! A great friend is a rare find and not easily replaced. Chances are the friend’s marriage will end up in divorce and he will not have a good friend to help console him. Probably tried reaching out those few times to ask for a “favor” 🤦🏼♀️
Poor OP is so desperate to think he's got fiends, he is willing to work himself to the bone for a pat on the back, all the while not realizing none of these people like him, care about him or even want him anywhere near. How many times do we read about people who call someone "my best friend" and the other person doesn't even know their last name. Like, dude, we met at the cafeteria once and then you wouldn;t stop coming over to my parent's house.
Happy with OP's first update, except--he's associating doing good in the world with catering to people's whims, no matter how they treat others. You're going to do more harm than good that way! Bet his friend would never have paid OP back if he hadn't asked
Story 1 - best to recognise your friend for what he really is.... a follower. Cut your losses, if not, the hurt will continue. My BFF of 27 years did something similar to me at and after her wedding, which was 5 years after I was married. Because she lived 1.5 hours from me, I did everything myself, as she ended up 6 months pregnant at my wedding. Our geological distance was also the reason I made 5 trips to her house to help her plan and prepare for hers. After I essentially designed and made all the decor for her big day, decorated and gave a heartfelt speech, I found out the groom was talking shit about me "taking over". It just got worse from there, time after time she let me down, until I confronted her, she told me I had changed and she didn't feel we connected anymore. 30 years of me doing more for her than I ever received and our sisterhood ended. I mourned it like a death, it took years. Now I'm good, (15 years later). She's divorced and that news actually made me happy. Fuck her and her ex.
Your "best friend" didn't have any trouble insulting you all the way through his marriage process. Don't worry about insulting him. Do tell him what a lousy friend he was to you. Also get your money back! Eff those people. And also also you should have sat yourself down with your friends and at least enjoyed hanging out if you were going to be used like that.
The update reminded me of a friend of mine I was bridesmaid for. She's a sweetheart, but she had a hard time in her wedding day (in-laws from hell), and I kinda helped her calm down, ran some errands for her, and let her enjoy the last hours before the wedding began. Days after, she thanked me almost with tears in her eyes, and told me how much she appreciated it, then I made a grin made for the new "Smile" movie and said "no worries hun... you'll have to deal with me on my wedding day" "oh shit, what have I done?" (she knows I get nervous over anything, and my bridezilla version will not be pretty)... then she said she will feed me a "relaxing" brownie the moment I wake up on my wedding day, just to keep me under control lol
I could see me getting roped into a situation like this when I was younger but there's only so much disrespect I can take before I'm out. I think I would have taken off after delivering the appetizers but then I don't think I would have agreed to pay $500 in the first place. OP had so little respect for himself that it just went on and on for hours, like he was actually accepting the disrespect and abuse, like he deserved nothing better. I'm glad he got counseling; the boy was a mess.
Story one I would have bowed out of wedding after the bride left me on read. I sure as hell wouldn’t have paid for anything or worked with the food. You let yourself be used…it’s ok most people have been. But now you know not to allow yourself to be used in such a way. I know if it were me I would leave my “best friend “ on read forever and ever. Move on.
Story 1: Op bestfriend is nothing but a coward. There is no way my husband would ever let me do this to any of his best friends and I would never ever make him do this. Both the Groom & Bride are absolute AH
Hey thanks for your "help". I wonder of I can borrow you again. The answer is No. You sure as heck don't pay for anything unless you are giving it as a gift.
8:54 It should be illegal to be that stupid. How are you going to hear your cousin-in-law ask his friend to buy him food personally, assume it's okay for YOU to ask that of a NEAR STRANGER, AND THEN you IMPOSE THAT FAVOR on him by ASKING A ROOM FULL OF RANDOS WHAT YOU WANT HIM TO BUY THEM?
Yeah, I think we all know that the bride 'wouldn't sign off on' OP as a Groomsman because he's heavy & she didn't want him 'messing up' her pictures. Sounds like Groom wanted him there, but not enough to argue with his wife or take up for him, so picked a role where he was background & not even a guest. Ushers aren't usually expected to be in pictures. I've been OP in a sense, I was a doormat (until the end of 9th grade) who was even bullied by my 'so-called best friend'. It _hurts._ I was so afraid with all that 'self improvement super positive attitude' talk in the first update (as well as acting like they did him a kindness by paying him back) that OP was going to fold, but I'm so glad he recognized it for what it was & has moved on with his dignity. No one should tolerate being treated that way.
Two questions; (1) Did they ever tell you what you said? And (2$ We’re there any other 'fat' people in the wedding party? Do you think they made up the “insult” because they (she) didn’t want any fat people in the wedding / wedding pictures?
Nah, OP is likely someone with very low self esteem who refuses to believe people avoid him for being needy and self depricating all the time. People like that are exhausting and they always come up with a reason that allows them to avoid being direct and honest about how they feel. He decided it was his weight because he is too scared to have a confrontation about whatever he said to upset the new gf. He's scared and desperate and people like the groom who are users can smell it from a mile away. I also suspect he has quite a few incel/neckbeard beliefs that came out while talking to the bride. Incel types always blame their looks instead of their personalities. It's a red flag for it.
Story 1: Honestly if the bride had such an issue with him that she held an unspoken grudge for so long, I'm amazed he was allowed at the wedding in any capacity at all. I wouldn't necessarily consider the usher gig an insult, but once you add all the other stuff, it goes way past that.
This guy should be a writer, he has a writer’s soul. I really enjoyed listening to his words/writing style, so full of wisdom for his age. He sounds like such a nice person. I hope he knows that some girls really love a guy with a little weight on them-even as a skinny somewhat attractive enough girl, I was always attracted to bigger men. To a small woman, that feels “protective” in nature. My husband towers over me, he’s got big wide shoulders and a soft poochy tummy. He could pick me up like it was nothing from day one. And I LOVE his dad bod 😂. He’s so comfy, cuddly, and warm. It’s like hugging a teddy bear. It was always more attractive to me than “thin”. A big friendly guy is an attractive one. Guys don’t look down on yourselves if you have a little weight on you. Too much is unhealthy for you, of course, but a “bit” is sexy.
What OP needs more then anything is to look up the definition of the word Friend. This guy was not his friend. A friend wouldn't treat you like that. I'm glad it sounds like he is moving on and hope he has developed enough self worth to not let someone treat him like this again.
The audacity of some people just leaves me so speechless. Like, Op (supposedly) made some comment at the beginning of their relationship and bride held a grudge the _entire time_ since? And asking him to go get the appetizers "for a bride on her wedding day 🥺" and then refusing to answer his texts or _pay him_ after since they didn't pay for it themselves ahead of time for "some reason" (quotations because I bet they always intended to make him pay)???? What horrible people man. My brain is malfunctioning so much at their nerve that I can't even think of a good insult that won't get me sent into the void. All I can say is I hope they get any and all karma that comes for them for treating such a good and loyal friend like absolute _dog shit_ just so they can have their "special day 🥺" 🤮 Edit: I want to cry on his behalf dude, I feel bad especially cause I can picture the exact scene of him eating by himself while upset cause shit man I've been there too and it's a terrible feeling. Would have eaten with him if I could 😭
As soon as the 'best' friend told him he had supposedly done something to hurt her a long time ago, but she somehow never told him I was like... "Yeah, that sounds like BS." She probably didn't like him for all kinds of reasons that were her own BS reasons. His weight, how close they were, how happy he was, what a good friend he was, and how willing he was to go out of the way for his 'best' friend. She sounds like the opposite of all those things. If she's a miserable person who only takes and takes, but never gives back in a relationship, along with having to have control of her boyfriend/husband's free time... A person like him has no place in their life, because miserable people don't like to be around happy people, or people that make them look bad. Also, as soon as he was not fighting for his friend to be one of the Groomsmen and letting her run a wedding that was his, too... I was like... "This guy isn't even a regular friend, and he's marrying and choosing a miserable woman to marry over people he's known for years." Luckily, OP seemed to have had the epiphany he needed to see this non-friendship. If people reveal how they really feel bout you, how they see you, and have said something really messed up that a true friend would never say... it can't be unsaid and a switch flips in my head. They go from a type of friend to acquaintance. I will forgive them for their treatment of me, because stewing on the wrong done to you and not forgiving people takes a toll on you and will change you as a person the longer you go on stewing and refusing to let it go. But, I am done with the person. They've revealed they're not really a friend and they never were your friend and I realize I don't need them in my life and they were a waste of my time and everything was fake. This guy seems to have come to the conclusion and left them to be alone.
I'm struck by how often bad behavior at a wedding fatally poisons a relationship in these stories. I guess it's not that shocking. While weddings are supposed to be about the joining of two people for life, they have long involved shallow displays of wealth and status by the families. The wedding industry has really played that up. So, you find out who your real friends are. I know OP took a lot of words to masticate over what he was going to do and how he was going to do it, but I think that was his way of making long-term changes. All things considered, he did everything right once the wedding was done. He got his money back with no drama. He distanced himself from both the groom and bride, and he's basically ghosted the groom whenever the latter has tried to return to business as usual. Has either of them learned from this about not being a shallow jerk in the future? Who knows? But ultimately, OP is not summer school and he doesn't owe them any free lessons.
My younger sister got married in 1994, just before Christmas. She and her fiance at the time asked me to cater their reception, stating they would reimburse me for the costs, (I am not a professional caterer nor do I cook professionally.) I made two different types of holiday punch (their wedding was holiday themed) and I also cooked a bunch of little finger quiche and other nibblies. All the ingredients cost me well over $400, and that was supposed to be used for my children's Christmas. As soon as the reception was over they left on their honeymoon to Disney World. They didn't return until after Christmas and had spent their 'extra' wedding funds on souvenirs for everyone. For us, we got, as a family, a tree ornament. They never reimbursed me, and I never bought them any gifts after that either.
Wow you used your kids Christmas money damn girl that's fucked up I'd've said yeah, sure, drop the ingredients off at my house and 500$ for my time and effort
@@CloudsAndConstellations At the time, we were all sharing a house, so they knew what our situation was. They were just cheap bastards. I hadn't spoken to most of my family for years. There is a reason for that.
Here's hoping if they want kids they are barren and unable to adopt or get a surrogate. Or if they are child free they find themselves with as many children as they can handle financially
I can feel for OP, I myself was often a doormat for other people when I was younger because of my insecurities and wanting to feel that gratitude. My eyes were opened when a "friend" I made my first semester of college blocked me on Facebook and avoided me like the plague the moment our class we had together ended. Turned out she only needed me to help her pass the class. We literally sat together in that class, ate lunch together sometimes, and she even came to my dorm room on occasion so we could do our homework together. I truly bent over backwards for her, and then when she got what she wanted she ghosted me before "ghosting" was even in our vernacular. After that experience, I started being much more skeptical of people and that worked out very well for me because turns out a lot of people really suck. I especially don't trust charismatic people that seem to make friends the minute they walk in the door. In my experience, they always have an ulterior motive for their friendliness and it's usually to get people into their MLM, church, or some other sketchy enterprise. There's a reason car salesmen all seem to have a similar personality
It’s hard finding lifelong friends, that will always have your back. OPs supposed best friend didn’t have his back at all. His bride didn’t want him in the wedding and he was ok with it, that’s fucked up. Then, his so-called friend made it worse by giving a job for a teenager and he knew it before he gave it to him. That friend will find himself one day with coworkers as his best friends. You know, the ones that you only see for happy hour and never else. I am glad OP has dropped him and left him on read. Never let them see you coming, but make sure they see you leave.
Story one: behavior is a language. The way your best friend and his bride or treating you is horrendous! I'd say walk out, but you stayed and did them a lot of favors they didn't deserve. I hope you find some friends that truly see you and treat you with love and respect.
OP, you are like me; a people pleaser 😢 You find your identity in helping people and toxic peeps can see you coming a mile away! Learn how to set boundaries, how to say no, how to stick up for yourself~ if you don't, this will continue and possibly get worse!! You. Deserve. BETTER. ❤
As requested Mark showing love to you. You and this channel have become one of the best parts of my life. I've adopted some of your cheeky dialogue in my every day life and even shared some vids with Mom. She knows if I'm watching you I'll call her back 🤣 Keep doing what you're doing. Much love
OP must be hard up for "friends." After not being selected for groomsman, I'd become just another guest, minimal gift. Hard to believe that this was the first time that he noticed his position (hanger-on, barely) in the so-called "friends circle."
Since the cousin said she'd Venmo him the money for the late night food, that means the story is relatively recent. Since the bride was clearly texting him to pick up the appetizers (meaning she's on her phone), there's really no excuse that she, the groom, or someone in the family couldn't have Venmo'd the money right away.
I hate to say it, but story 1 was...comforting in a way? I was friends with this person for 9 years & loved them like a sibling. I cleaned the floor of their bedroom regularly bc they had scoliosis and hoarder tendencies. I would comfort them when they needed emotional suppory & reassurance only for them to ignore me once they felt better. I once let them borrow my switch & I not only regularly had to steal it back when I wanted to use it (I was homeless and had little other form of entertainment) but they also damaged the corner of my screen and lied about it & pretended it looked like that when I gave it to them. If I had kept this friendship, I would've ended up in OP's position one day. I'm so thankful I recognized the signs sooner and left that toxicity.
Wedding story- I was in the same situation with my own brother's weddings. They needed help and I was the first to jump and ask what can I do. BUT when it came to my wedding, well let's just say the maid of honor and bridesmaid didn't fulfill their duties at all. My brothers were in capable of taking care of their pre-teen kids all boys by themselves. They needed their wives there to do everything. Not caring at all that me the bride needed help. So I as always took care of myself and my junior bridesmaid, my niece who along helped me. So the moral of the story is I learned to never go above or beyond for anyone family or friends. The only 3 people in my life who I will do everything for is my husband and our boys and they in turn will do the same for me. Know your worth...
I don't mix family and friends with business for this reason. Everything has to be done with a contract to protect both sides and leave the feelings out of it. I tell friends and family that I appreciate their consideration for using my services but I would rather enjoy their special day as a guest and can recommend them others who will handle their needs - I do not want to be in the middle of the drama. Learned my lesson once and that was all it took.
Yeah, I was (as someone who was a doormat until the beginning of high school & was even bullied by a 'so-called best friend') feeling pretty cynical & annoyed by all the 'personal growth' stuff while still appearing to talk about the guy & his wife as though they were 'friends'. The last update was a relief. Being taken advantage of like that _hurts,_ & I want nothing but happiness for OP, but not at the cost of his dignity. I'm just glad he's moved on & feels better about it.
Walk away with your friendship made whole? There is no friendship there. You were friends with him, he was never friends with you. The best you can hope to get out of this situation is your money back -- but I wouldn't hold my breath on that either.
Empty pockets. Works every time. Anytime someone asks, "Oh, can you pay for this? I'll pay you back...", just say, "Sorry, no cash and got almost nothing on debit... got a card for me to use?", and let them pony up *somehow*.
I'm glad OP got his money back - I've been in situations where I've been screwed out of money by 'friends' before now, and unfortunately had to use violence in order to get my money back. Just glad OP got paid without any drama.
There's nothing worse than doing everything you can for someone thinking that they're your friend only to find out that they are using you. My best friend used me to cheat on her 2nd husband. Years later she sent me an invite to her 3rd wedding. I'm a very petty person. I declined and wrote back "maybe next time".
God story 1 breaks my heart. He seems like such a nice kind hearted sweetheart. Those other people are assholes and I can’t believe no one stood up for him.
OP seems to be taking the expression “taking the high road” seriously to a fault. Can’t help but think something else like this will happen again because he views putting up boundaries and standing up for yourself as “being heartless”
Story 1- send a couple of texts and emails WITH copies of receipts. KEEP those. keep every communication. If they don’t pay back, take them to court with receipts and bank statements with dates.
I love op they are a gem of a person, I really think they are too good for those snakes. I would be proud to have a good friend like op and I hope they find a great set of new friends who are worth their time.
This literally made me tear up for OP that his “supposed” best friend treated him like a lackey! Makes me wonder if his ex friend stopped to think about why OP won’t talk to him anymore. I doubt it, but if he did, maybe he can improve himself to be a better friend to the next guy 🤷🏼♀️
I had a friend once who spread rumours about her best friend I took the hint and distance myself If she can do that to her best friend what she can do to me?
I used to be this person and people took advantage of this. This stopped when I overheard people I thought were my friends making fun of me and calling me a fat retard.Im slightly autistic.That was 25 years ago and the funny thing is that one of the women that used to be my friend I thought was at a party that I attended and I hadn't seen her for over 20 years .She didn't recognise me as I have changed a lot for the better.She tried to pick me up and I laughed in her face and told her who I was and that I don't date fat girls and walked off.Not going to lie it felt good.
![Noob To Max With DRAGON REWORK In Blox Fruits [FULL MOVIE]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/LnBMOinoOvA/mqdefault.jpg)
![[FULL STORY] I think my husband fathered his best friend's children.](/img/1.gif)
I haven't gotten to the update for the first story yet, but I can guarantee that there was nothing OP said that "insulted" the bride. I bet the reason is what OP mentioned, that he's fat, and the bride didn't want him to "ruin the look" of photos and the reason friend gave OP is an excuse to cover for it.
After reading the update(s): I'm glad that he was able to reflect on himself/his friendship and did what he had to do to better himself + figured out who his true friends are. I hope he's still doing well to this day.
I had a relationship with a friend sort of like that, I did everything I could for her, but not really getting *anything* in the end for it. When she decided to try outing me to my parents, we had a cry over how hurt I was she did that, only for her to out me to her grandmother... I yanked back pretty quickly, and as soon as she saw she was losing me, she blocked me + my best friend she'd met through me.
Long ramble over, good for OP for taking the advice of reddit seriously and making life better for himself.
Yea, I think the wedding "aesthetics" are more why he wasn't chosen because he sounds like a really good friend...
I agree with this assessment. He didn’t fit the look she wanted for Her wedding so he wasn’t invited.
@@SailorMya *aesthetics
@@taylorslade961 Thanks
Honestly if I was one of the mutual friends between OP and the groom I would think “yeesh, this is the type of friend the groom is?” and distance my own self away from the groom and that friendship and be better friends with OP. There is no way someone who treats their best friend like a doormat would treat any of their other “lesser” friends any better
Seriously. I probably would have talked to him about it beforehand. Not having your best friend be at minimum in your wedding party is a major yikes. Especially if all your other friends in the friend group are.
I could never be friends with someone like the groom
@@Uneclipsed The fact the friends cared more about him than his best friend tells a lot about the best friend. Hopefully no one of that friend group likes the groom anymore after he used his “best friend” as an unpaid slave at his wedding instead of fighting for him to even be a groomsman let alone be a normal guest at the wedding…
@@LilySaintSin check mark off the list of friends. Like his friends appreciated his help with their friend’s wedding than the actual friend himself, who didn’t communicate with OP until HE was the one who contacted him about the money owed
Exactly. Exactly. I couldn't believe what I was hearing, there.
I hope when the husband reaches out to OP to sob about his marriage woes, OP just says: ‘sorry maybe, bit busy at the moment, I’ll get back to you’ and doesn’t. When husband reaches out to OP for money, I hope OP just says: ‘sorry mate bit short at the moment, I’ll get back to you when I’ve got some cash’ and doesn’t.
We both know he will listen with open ears and drive a dump truck of money up to him
I'm gonna cry, this guy is SO sweet. I hope his future friends are better than the groom was to him. He deserves all the joy.
Nope, they wont be better. At least not if he stays sweet. From experience people who go above and beyond will be used, nothing more.
@@arnatar2086 i think they will.
They showed it during the wedding
And I'm 100% certain after they found out all that happened they gave the groom a new one.
In one of his lines OP says the groom tried to get Imin touch with him several times and was ignored, so I'm guessing OP real friends were less polite than OP
Story 1, It's an awful thing to realize that you are not your best friends best friend. It's also awful to realize ppl you thought you were cool with don't like you. I've been there and I'm sorry this happened but it's good it happened because now he knows where he stands with them.
It's common for your best friend not be yours. Nothing wrong with that. Just because you see a person as your best friend doesn't mean you have to be theirs
@@manxiefeathermoon9888 Well...yeah, you do. The whole point of BFFs Forever is that it's supposed to be mutual. If it's not, then neither of you is the other's best friend.
Story 1: I feel like the OP is giving himself a long-winded justification to avoid confrontation. I understand not wanting to cause a big fight, but standing up for yourself is not inviting negativity.
I have the feeling that this poor guy has been beaten down his entire life to the point that he couldn't stand up for himself. That any overture of friendship is like rain in the desert so to say anything that might even be construed as hurtful would feel like he's being an ungrateful person. He's most likely to have been abused and bullied by both peers and family. I'm so happy he's in therapy and it sounds like he's trying to stay as good natured as he was. I hope for nothing but the best for him and pray Karma gives the rest what they deserve.
I agree...he should have read them for filth
YEP!!!
He rambled a lot in the end. Don’t know if he was trying to tell us about the self reflection and growth he’s had or trying to convince himself of it
Maybe, but confrontation doesn't always go the way you want it to. If you aren't good at it, it can backfire.
He chose a different path and it seems to have worked for him. His ex best friend was barely a footnote in his final update. And that's a satisfying ending, even if it wasn't dramatic.
I was volunteered at a wedding for a couple of my wife's friends a few years ago. Turned out that I had to set up, run a barbecue for three hours (missed the ceremony) help my wife take care of a kitchen and then do tear down after the wedding. Technically they still owe me money for all the things I needed to run and buy to get the wedding to run correctly because they couldn't plan worth a damn. To this day I don't talk to these people. I will be cordial but I don't talk to him. Nothing like getting used by a "friend" of yours to kill that friendship. This is an expensive lesson learned.
Lol idve laughed and said no.
Y'know, i feel like the brevity of that final update says it all. Dude went from OP's best friend to barely a footnote, and that's the real revenge
Man, I am so glad OP found his own way.
I'm glad he was able to get reimbursed without falling into what would've been bitter pettiness for his character.
I'm glad OP had real friends at the wedding asking "wtf."
I'm glad his former friend is in the "finding out" phase of his "fucked around."
I hope he complains to mutual friends and gets told off.
Story 1: I can't ever imagine treating my friend that way. WTF!!!!!!!!!!! I'm pissed off on OP's behalf!
This will bring a Shadow over the Marriage. "Remember the Usher at your Wedding? Hows he doing?"
Married Couple:"ehm...we dont know."
Until People around them realize, that they are too disposble.
I feel heartbroken for OP. Glad this situation is now all in his past and he's continuing to be an even better person than he was. He was the best friend that anyone could have asked for.
OP sounds like an incredible person who is able to think things through really well. I’m so sad for him that his best friend treated him horribly, but the fact that he’s able to come out the other side of this in such a positive way is tremendous.
Story 1: I would never treat my friends nor let anyone I’m dating treat my friends like that. OP doesn’t deserve it, and should see the situation as it is, no matter how painful, his supposed best friend chose a girl over their relationship and isn’t acting like a very good friend to him at all despite his willingness to help out cause that’s what best friends do.
Story: OP is the designated doormat of the friend group. My friends used to act in a similar manner, till I stood up and said I dont need your crap shows and sob stories. Friends are overrated.
Those buttholes are overrated and they were not real "friends" to you, just hangers-on and users. Real friends don't hurt each other on purpose like that.
That sucks I was in the same situation in school and I walked away from them. as an adult with 2 great trustworthy friends I realized I just trusted in the wrong people
Real friends aren't overrated, fake ones are.
OP is too good for these people.
They are not overrated, you just didn't have any. Always polish that backbone, never let someone take advantage of you again!
If the OP has always been this blatantly used by this guy as one of those kind of really sweet so eager to please people, then you can believe he has not treated him like this for the first time surrounding his wedding. This has probably been a theme during this so-called friendship. I would be willing to bet money that the groom has always used the OP as long as they’ve known each other. Where the OP saw friendship, the so-called friend saw somebody that he could use. And remember for the OP, for your ex friend this is his future. He’s married to this woman now that’s a good punishment to start! They didn’t deserve you.
Get the money back and move on. These people are so cruel. Sometimes things get misinterpreted, but I don't think this is. I don't see how bride and groom couldve not understood how horrible this was.
Very disappointing update. Cool cool cool, you've grown as a person, blah blah lol. But what about the almost $600? You could easily take that to small claims court with the receipts and texts asking you to do all that nonsense. They'll just think it's ok otherwise and continue to do it to others.
@@mrs.h2725 He says he got the money back at the very beginning of the update, and that it was easy.
@@mrs.h2725the money is not the problem here tbh, because it was very quickly resolved lol
"When you find the right people, there is no chase." I really needed to hear that. I have been trying so hard to people please. To make friends with mutuals when they don't care for me much. Thank you for reading!
Feel sorry for op being a world class doormat. Proud of their growth
I'm so sorry that OP did not have the good friend he thought he did. I'm glad he is distancing from that idiot groom and not responding to him. Real friends are the ones who commiserated with him during and after the wedding. So glad he is moving on and feeling much better about himself.
The self reflection was an amazing listen. OP seems more free, and that's awesome.
The updates were great to hear, OP sounds like the kind of person who deserves to feel proud of themselves
We all deserve a great friend like OP. Some people just can't see what they've got.
The most powerful word to use to get people to stop using you.
NO!
Story 1: I have that "helpfulness" insecurities, extending myself until I break. I've had to make myself learn to be selfish when appropriate and build walls up around myself. I let my wedding crumble under the insecurity of money and savings that it looked as bare as a school gymnasium. Should've had a bonfire at a family member's house, less maintenance and more homely
Bonfire at a family house sounds fantastic! Maybe for an anniversary party? ^_^
I wouldn’t have even gone to the wedding. His “friend” isn’t a real friend. He CLEARLY didn’t stand up for OP and that speaks volumes about their relationship.
Wife is isolating Ops best friend. It’s because they are so close. Narcs don’t allow us to have anyone but them
This story hurt and angered me and I wasn't even the one going through it, but the update makes me happy. The groom just lost a grade A friend and a person who sounds like an absolute delight to be around. I love the absolute maturity and growth he displayed and how he refused to allow them to make him lose his composure and spark. I genuinely wish that Op continue to grow and find happiness in the friends who cares for him. The groom will wake up one day and regret losing such a great friend and I hope that feeling sticks in the corner of his mind like an annoying fly.
Agree with you. The way OP has stayed true to his authentically kind nature yet put up proper boundaries up to protect against those whose authentic nature is to take advantage is fantastic.
Part of me thinks OPs weight loss is the reason the "best friend" keeps reaching out to him is now he's cool enough to be seen in public together. Just happy OP saw the truth of the "best friends" character.
OP did perfectly! I totally get him because I've been there so many times. Doing way more than the other party and it being unappreciated. Not being bitter and moving on was the key. He's working on himself and understanding he's amazing and deserves better. You love to see it 🙌🏾🙌🏾
I hope OP’s friend realizes what kind of friend he lost by letting his new wife treat OP like crap! A great friend is a rare find and not easily replaced. Chances are the friend’s marriage will end up in divorce and he will not have a good friend to help console him. Probably tried reaching out those few times to ask for a “favor” 🤦🏼♀️
Story 1: OP has to learn the word "no."
Poor OP is so desperate to think he's got fiends, he is willing to work himself to the bone for a pat on the back, all the while not realizing none of these people like him, care about him or even want him anywhere near. How many times do we read about people who call someone "my best friend" and the other person doesn't even know their last name. Like, dude, we met at the cafeteria once and then you wouldn;t stop coming over to my parent's house.
Happy with OP's first update, except--he's associating doing good in the world with catering to people's whims, no matter how they treat others. You're going to do more harm than good that way!
Bet his friend would never have paid OP back if he hadn't asked
Story 1 - best to recognise your friend for what he really is.... a follower. Cut your losses, if not, the hurt will continue. My BFF of 27 years did something similar to me at and after her wedding, which was 5 years after I was married. Because she lived 1.5 hours from me, I did everything myself, as she ended up 6 months pregnant at my wedding. Our geological distance was also the reason I made 5 trips to her house to help her plan and prepare for hers. After I essentially designed and made all the decor for her big day, decorated and gave a heartfelt speech, I found out the groom was talking shit about me "taking over". It just got worse from there, time after time she let me down, until I confronted her, she told me I had changed and she didn't feel we connected anymore. 30 years of me doing more for her than I ever received and our sisterhood ended. I mourned it like a death, it took years. Now I'm good, (15 years later). She's divorced and that news actually made me happy. Fuck her and her ex.
I hope her child or children leave lots of Lego for her to step on!
Jesus christ wtf did he waste so much money on these mistakes. I hated this story I hope their marriage ends in divorce.
Your "best friend" didn't have any trouble insulting you all the way through his marriage process. Don't worry about insulting him. Do tell him what a lousy friend he was to you.
Also get your money back! Eff those people. And also also you should have sat yourself down with your friends and at least enjoyed hanging out if you were going to be used like that.
The update reminded me of a friend of mine I was bridesmaid for. She's a sweetheart, but she had a hard time in her wedding day (in-laws from hell), and I kinda helped her calm down, ran some errands for her, and let her enjoy the last hours before the wedding began.
Days after, she thanked me almost with tears in her eyes, and told me how much she appreciated it, then I made a grin made for the new "Smile" movie and said "no worries hun... you'll have to deal with me on my wedding day" "oh shit, what have I done?" (she knows I get nervous over anything, and my bridezilla version will not be pretty)... then she said she will feed me a "relaxing" brownie the moment I wake up on my wedding day, just to keep me under control lol
I could see me getting roped into a situation like this when I was younger but there's only so much disrespect I can take before I'm out. I think I would have taken off after delivering the appetizers but then I don't think I would have agreed to pay $500 in the first place. OP had so little respect for himself that it just went on and on for hours, like he was actually accepting the disrespect and abuse, like he deserved nothing better. I'm glad he got counseling; the boy was a mess.
Story one I would have bowed out of wedding after the bride left me on read. I sure as hell wouldn’t have paid for anything or worked with the food. You let yourself be used…it’s ok most people have been. But now you know not to allow yourself to be used in such a way. I know if it were me I would leave my “best friend “ on read forever and ever. Move on.
Op did good, so pleased he realised who his real friends are. Wish him the very best life can bring to him, sounds a really nice person.
Story 1: Op bestfriend is nothing but a coward. There is no way my husband would ever let me do this to any of his best friends and I would never ever make him do this. Both the Groom & Bride are absolute AH
When you do get married send your friend's parents an invitation to your wedding. Do not send one to your friend
OP should send the post to the groom and bride, also hope the OP can update this story
Hey thanks for your "help". I wonder of I can borrow you again. The answer is No. You sure as heck don't pay for anything unless you are giving it as a gift.
Just because someone is your best friend doesn't mean you're theirs.
God, I wouldn’t even treat a stranger this way let alone my friend. This groom and bride are a real piece of work.
Well at least we know the bride and groom deserve each other
8:54 It should be illegal to be that stupid. How are you going to hear your cousin-in-law ask his friend to buy him food personally, assume it's okay for YOU to ask that of a NEAR STRANGER, AND THEN you IMPOSE THAT FAVOR on him by ASKING A ROOM FULL OF RANDOS WHAT YOU WANT HIM TO BUY THEM?
Yeah, I think we all know that the bride 'wouldn't sign off on' OP as a Groomsman because he's heavy & she didn't want him 'messing up' her pictures. Sounds like Groom wanted him there, but not enough to argue with his wife or take up for him, so picked a role where he was background & not even a guest. Ushers aren't usually expected to be in pictures. I've been OP in a sense, I was a doormat (until the end of 9th grade) who was even bullied by my 'so-called best friend'. It _hurts._
I was so afraid with all that 'self improvement super positive attitude' talk in the first update (as well as acting like they did him a kindness by paying him back) that OP was going to fold, but I'm so glad he recognized it for what it was & has moved on with his dignity. No one should tolerate being treated that way.
Two questions; (1) Did they ever tell you what you said? And (2$ We’re there any other 'fat' people in the wedding party? Do you think they made up the “insult” because they (she) didn’t want any fat people in the wedding / wedding pictures?
Nah, OP is likely someone with very low self esteem who refuses to believe people avoid him for being needy and self depricating all the time. People like that are exhausting and they always come up with a reason that allows them to avoid being direct and honest about how they feel. He decided it was his weight because he is too scared to have a confrontation about whatever he said to upset the new gf. He's scared and desperate and people like the groom who are users can smell it from a mile away.
I also suspect he has quite a few incel/neckbeard beliefs that came out while talking to the bride. Incel types always blame their looks instead of their personalities. It's a red flag for it.
18:00 OP is planning to invite these horrible people to his wedding? No no no no.
I love how the OP came back stronger for it. Great story.
Story 1: Honestly if the bride had such an issue with him that she held an unspoken grudge for so long, I'm amazed he was allowed at the wedding in any capacity at all. I wouldn't necessarily consider the usher gig an insult, but once you add all the other stuff, it goes way past that.
Man that first guy is so kind. It's sad he got taken advantage of like that.
Weddings tend to reveal a ton about people. Glad you got the $$$ back
This guy should be a writer, he has a writer’s soul. I really enjoyed listening to his words/writing style, so full of wisdom for his age. He sounds like such a nice person. I hope he knows that some girls really love a guy with a little weight on them-even as a skinny somewhat attractive enough girl, I was always attracted to bigger men. To a small woman, that feels “protective” in nature. My husband towers over me, he’s got big wide shoulders and a soft poochy tummy. He could pick me up like it was nothing from day one. And I LOVE his dad bod 😂. He’s so comfy, cuddly, and warm. It’s like hugging a teddy bear. It was always more attractive to me than “thin”. A big friendly guy is an attractive one. Guys don’t look down on yourselves if you have a little weight on you. Too much is unhealthy for you, of course, but a “bit” is sexy.
What OP needs more then anything is to look up the definition of the word Friend. This guy was not his friend. A friend wouldn't treat you like that. I'm glad it sounds like he is moving on and hope he has developed enough self worth to not let someone treat him like this again.
The OP sounds like a lovely person. Open-minded and a deep thinker that anyone should be lucky to have as a friend or partner.
The audacity of some people just leaves me so speechless. Like, Op (supposedly) made some comment at the beginning of their relationship and bride held a grudge the _entire time_ since? And asking him to go get the appetizers "for a bride on her wedding day 🥺" and then refusing to answer his texts or _pay him_ after since they didn't pay for it themselves ahead of time for "some reason" (quotations because I bet they always intended to make him pay)????
What horrible people man. My brain is malfunctioning so much at their nerve that I can't even think of a good insult that won't get me sent into the void. All I can say is I hope they get any and all karma that comes for them for treating such a good and loyal friend like absolute _dog shit_ just so they can have their "special day 🥺" 🤮
Edit: I want to cry on his behalf dude, I feel bad especially cause I can picture the exact scene of him eating by himself while upset cause shit man I've been there too and it's a terrible feeling. Would have eaten with him if I could 😭
As soon as the 'best' friend told him he had supposedly done something to hurt her a long time ago, but she somehow never told him I was like... "Yeah, that sounds like BS." She probably didn't like him for all kinds of reasons that were her own BS reasons. His weight, how close they were, how happy he was, what a good friend he was, and how willing he was to go out of the way for his 'best' friend. She sounds like the opposite of all those things.
If she's a miserable person who only takes and takes, but never gives back in a relationship, along with having to have control of her boyfriend/husband's free time... A person like him has no place in their life, because miserable people don't like to be around happy people, or people that make them look bad. Also, as soon as he was not fighting for his friend to be one of the Groomsmen and letting her run a wedding that was his, too... I was like... "This guy isn't even a regular friend, and he's marrying and choosing a miserable woman to marry over people he's known for years." Luckily, OP seemed to have had the epiphany he needed to see this non-friendship.
If people reveal how they really feel bout you, how they see you, and have said something really messed up that a true friend would never say... it can't be unsaid and a switch flips in my head. They go from a type of friend to acquaintance. I will forgive them for their treatment of me, because stewing on the wrong done to you and not forgiving people takes a toll on you and will change you as a person the longer you go on stewing and refusing to let it go. But, I am done with the person. They've revealed they're not really a friend and they never were your friend and I realize I don't need them in my life and they were a waste of my time and everything was fake. This guy seems to have come to the conclusion and left them to be alone.
I'm struck by how often bad behavior at a wedding fatally poisons a relationship in these stories. I guess it's not that shocking. While weddings are supposed to be about the joining of two people for life, they have long involved shallow displays of wealth and status by the families. The wedding industry has really played that up. So, you find out who your real friends are.
I know OP took a lot of words to masticate over what he was going to do and how he was going to do it, but I think that was his way of making long-term changes. All things considered, he did everything right once the wedding was done. He got his money back with no drama. He distanced himself from both the groom and bride, and he's basically ghosted the groom whenever the latter has tried to return to business as usual. Has either of them learned from this about not being a shallow jerk in the future? Who knows? But ultimately, OP is not summer school and he doesn't owe them any free lessons.
Op sounds like a great person. I wantnto meet people like op. They're precious friends to have. I hope he finds some good friends that treat him well.
I'm glad OP got his money back and left his loser friend behind.
What a wimp the groom is, my brother was a wimpy groom like that and two nobody's surprise, they are divorced.
My younger sister got married in 1994, just before Christmas. She and her fiance at the time asked me to cater their reception, stating they would reimburse me for the costs, (I am not a professional caterer nor do I cook professionally.) I made two different types of holiday punch (their wedding was holiday themed) and I also cooked a bunch of little finger quiche and other nibblies. All the ingredients cost me well over $400, and that was supposed to be used for my children's Christmas. As soon as the reception was over they left on their honeymoon to Disney World. They didn't return until after Christmas and had spent their 'extra' wedding funds on souvenirs for everyone. For us, we got, as a family, a tree ornament. They never reimbursed me, and I never bought them any gifts after that either.
Wow you used your kids Christmas money damn girl that's fucked up I'd've said yeah, sure, drop the ingredients off at my house and 500$ for my time and effort
@@CloudsAndConstellations At the time, we were all sharing a house, so they knew what our situation was. They were just cheap bastards. I hadn't spoken to most of my family for years. There is a reason for that.
"Good lessons aren't free" has got to be the best take away from any of these stories I've ever heard.
Here's hoping if they want kids they are barren and unable to adopt or get a surrogate. Or if they are child free they find themselves with as many children as they can handle financially
I can feel for OP, I myself was often a doormat for other people when I was younger because of my insecurities and wanting to feel that gratitude. My eyes were opened when a "friend" I made my first semester of college blocked me on Facebook and avoided me like the plague the moment our class we had together ended. Turned out she only needed me to help her pass the class. We literally sat together in that class, ate lunch together sometimes, and she even came to my dorm room on occasion so we could do our homework together. I truly bent over backwards for her, and then when she got what she wanted she ghosted me before "ghosting" was even in our vernacular. After that experience, I started being much more skeptical of people and that worked out very well for me because turns out a lot of people really suck. I especially don't trust charismatic people that seem to make friends the minute they walk in the door. In my experience, they always have an ulterior motive for their friendliness and it's usually to get people into their MLM, church, or some other sketchy enterprise. There's a reason car salesmen all seem to have a similar personality
It’s hard finding lifelong friends, that will always have your back. OPs supposed best friend didn’t have his back at all. His bride didn’t want him in the wedding and he was ok with it, that’s fucked up. Then, his so-called friend made it worse by giving a job for a teenager and he knew it before he gave it to him. That friend will find himself one day with coworkers as his best friends. You know, the ones that you only see for happy hour and never else. I am glad OP has dropped him and left him on read. Never let them see you coming, but make sure they see you leave.
Story one: behavior is a language. The way your best friend and his bride or treating you is horrendous! I'd say walk out, but you stayed and did them a lot of favors they didn't deserve. I hope you find some friends that truly see you and treat you with love and respect.
OP, you are like me; a people pleaser 😢 You find your identity in helping people and toxic peeps can see you coming a mile away! Learn how to set boundaries, how to say no, how to stick up for yourself~ if you don't, this will continue and possibly get worse!!
You.
Deserve.
BETTER.
❤
As requested Mark showing love to you. You and this channel have become one of the best parts of my life. I've adopted some of your cheeky dialogue in my every day life and even shared some vids with Mom. She knows if I'm watching you I'll call her back 🤣 Keep doing what you're doing. Much love
OP must be hard up for "friends." After not being selected for groomsman, I'd become just another guest, minimal gift.
Hard to believe that this was the first time that he noticed his position (hanger-on, barely) in the so-called "friends circle."
This community is amazing 🤩 Story 1 Op needs new friendships with people that respect him and value time and effort.
You are!
You are a great human being and thank you
Since the cousin said she'd Venmo him the money for the late night food, that means the story is relatively recent. Since the bride was clearly texting him to pick up the appetizers (meaning she's on her phone), there's really no excuse that she, the groom, or someone in the family couldn't have Venmo'd the money right away.
Did this video fill my love and hate meters equally? Damn you Mark, what have you done to me?! I'm fucking balanced!
Sue the Bride in small Claims court. Hopefully you saved the text message.
I hate to say it, but story 1 was...comforting in a way? I was friends with this person for 9 years & loved them like a sibling. I cleaned the floor of their bedroom regularly bc they had scoliosis and hoarder tendencies. I would comfort them when they needed emotional suppory & reassurance only for them to ignore me once they felt better. I once let them borrow my switch & I not only regularly had to steal it back when I wanted to use it (I was homeless and had little other form of entertainment) but they also damaged the corner of my screen and lied about it & pretended it looked like that when I gave it to them.
If I had kept this friendship, I would've ended up in OP's position one day. I'm so thankful I recognized the signs sooner and left that toxicity.
Op sounds like an amazing person I wish him well in his continued growth. Someone like him would be an inspiration and an asset as a friend
Wedding story- I was in the same situation with my own brother's weddings. They needed help and I was the first to jump and ask what can I do. BUT when it came to my wedding, well let's just say the maid of honor and bridesmaid didn't fulfill their duties at all. My brothers were in capable of taking care of their pre-teen kids all boys by themselves. They needed their wives there to do everything. Not caring at all that me the bride needed help. So I as always took care of myself and my junior bridesmaid, my niece who along helped me. So the moral of the story is I learned to never go above or beyond for anyone family or friends. The only 3 people in my life who I will do everything for is my husband and our boys and they in turn will do the same for me. Know your worth...
I don't mix family and friends with business for this reason.
Everything has to be done with a contract to protect both sides and leave the feelings out of it. I tell friends and family that I appreciate their consideration for using my services but I would rather enjoy their special day as a guest and can recommend them others who will handle their needs - I do not want to be in the middle of the drama. Learned my lesson once and that was all it took.
While in the first story. My inner voice begs "PLEEEASE insult him! He needs it badly!"
The whole way through story 1 my heart just kept sinking more and more
Learning to say "no" is the best thing you can do for yourself. It's not easy but it's really worth it
Mark you have NO IDEA I literally WAIT for your video's to come out while I'm working. 💛💛💛
I was honestly ready to say that OP was still a huge doormat at the end there b4 the very final update, good on him for seeing the light
Yeah, I was (as someone who was a doormat until the beginning of high school & was even bullied by a 'so-called best friend') feeling pretty cynical & annoyed by all the 'personal growth' stuff while still appearing to talk about the guy & his wife as though they were 'friends'. The last update was a relief. Being taken advantage of like that _hurts,_ & I want nothing but happiness for OP, but not at the cost of his dignity. I'm just glad he's moved on & feels better about it.
Glad OP moved on from these fake friends. F 'em.
Walk away with your friendship made whole? There is no friendship there. You were friends with him, he was never friends with you. The best you can hope to get out of this situation is your money back -- but I wouldn't hold my breath on that either.
Empty pockets. Works every time.
Anytime someone asks, "Oh, can you pay for this? I'll pay you back...", just say, "Sorry, no cash and got almost nothing on debit... got a card for me to use?", and let them pony up *somehow*.
Mark with another banger.
Aww bless you Jephthah!
I'm glad OP got his money back - I've been in situations where I've been screwed out of money by 'friends' before now, and unfortunately had to use violence in order to get my money back. Just glad OP got paid without any drama.
What a lovely man. I love your heart
There's nothing worse than doing everything you can for someone thinking that they're your friend only to find out that they are using you. My best friend used me to cheat on her 2nd husband. Years later she sent me an invite to her 3rd wedding. I'm a very petty person. I declined and wrote back "maybe next time".
😂😂😂
Man... this guy is just so nice and wise
God story 1 breaks my heart. He seems like such a nice kind hearted sweetheart. Those other people are assholes and I can’t believe no one stood up for him.
OP seems to be taking the expression “taking the high road” seriously to a fault. Can’t help but think something else like this will happen again because he views putting up boundaries and standing up for yourself as “being heartless”
Story 1- send a couple of texts and emails WITH copies of receipts. KEEP those. keep every communication. If they don’t pay back, take them to court with receipts and bank statements with dates.
I love op they are a gem of a person, I really think they are too good for those snakes.
I would be proud to have a good friend like op and I hope they find a great set of new friends who are worth their time.
This literally made me tear up for OP that his “supposed” best friend treated him like a lackey! Makes me wonder if his ex friend stopped to think about why OP won’t talk to him anymore. I doubt it, but if he did, maybe he can improve himself to be a better friend to the next guy 🤷🏼♀️
I had a friend once who spread rumours about her best friend
I took the hint and distance myself
If she can do that to her best friend what she can do to me?
I used to be this person and people took advantage of this. This stopped when I overheard people I thought were my friends making fun of me and calling me a fat retard.Im slightly autistic.That was 25 years ago and the funny thing is that one of the women that used to be my friend I thought was at a party that I attended and I hadn't seen her for over 20 years .She didn't recognise me as I have changed a lot for the better.She tried to pick me up and I laughed in her face and told her who I was and that I don't date fat girls and walked off.Not going to lie it felt good.
Story 1 Poor OP. Dump the friends and find better ones.