I agree, he could’ve just honestly told her “I’m sorry but I can’t handle the smell and feeling of the blanket. I don’t think I can stay if you don’t at least wash it” they could’ve compromised she washes it or he could’ve just left
Yeah, exactly. He should've left. I think she needed therapy anyway because not washing your comfort item and letting it basically smell and rot isn't a mentally stable thing. I've washed my teddy bear and was annoyed by it, but I knew it needed it. Done the same to my blanket when I didn't want it to. But hygiene is important.
I mean, she could have compromised about washing it. I sleep with a plushie I have since I’m a baby, I still wash it often… he’s still awful for destroying it. That girl will go through a lot of pain
Stupid and selfish. He only has himself to blame. The sad thing is, he hasn't learnt a damned thing! "I don't understand why it's so important to her." You don't have to understand, just accept that it was! After all, it was a blanket! It wasn't drugs, or alcohol, or sex with strangers, or kleptomania, or any of the myriad of worse things it could have been. It was a blanket! A gift from her mother that gave her comfort. And to think that a replacement (one he approves of) would make up for the life time of memories she's formed with this blanket! It went through her childhood with her, transitioned into adolescence, first starting to menstruate, first boyfriend, first job, leaving the safety of her home! What an entitled, brain dead idiot! I'm glad the girlfriend left his pathetic ass!
That's the part that had me yelling: she gave a damned biography of her life with the blanket, and you STILL have "no idea" it was so important to her? He was so deep in his own loathing and thinking he didn't bother really listening. Sheesh.
And how to quickly end a relationship when they find out because eventually when they have searched everywhere they will know it was you - have fun being single forever I actually had this happen to me so that’s why I’m kind of annoyed I had this stuffed animal that was hard to wash because it would fall apart the person I was with never really said much about it until the end when they took it and burned it I looked everywhere in my house until I went to them and told them how sad I was but they just acted like it was the best thing and that’s when I knew they did something to my stuffed animal and after I pushed them to talk they finally admitted to burning it so yeah I got to file a police report on them because I’m not letting someone who I dated get away from that horrible act
I don't think this fits the definition of gaslighting. (So not even an example of gaslighting.) It's just a fine example of...lying. Here's example of both. Her: Do you know where my blanket is? I can't find it. Him: No. I'll help you look. (This is lying.) Him: No. Maybe you misplaced it? (A bit gaslighty a bit lying. Since he makes her question if she did indeed misplace it, when she knows she didn't.) Him: Blanket? You never had a blanket. What are you talking about? (Full on gaslighting. Makes her question her own sanity.)
@@dale9042 Huh? No. Everyone including Mark agreed it wasn’t stupid because it comforts the gf. It’s not stupid to have something that helps you with your mental health
What worries me the most about first OP wasn’t the fact that he burnt the blanket, which is still terrible. It’s the satisfaction he felt watching it burn. He knew he was doing something that would really hurt his GF. He was destroying something with real sentimental value to her. But he didn’t feel guilty or ashamed, he felt satisfied. This guy is a full blown psychopath.
So true. I know I am late, but he was clearly making excuses. He knew how much it meant to her, and he knew it would hurt her getting rid of it. The "I didn't know and I didn't understand" bit was to try and use ignorance as an excuse.
“No longer will it come between me and my girl!” He sounds jealous of a blanket. And the fucked up part is he likely was, the blanket provided her comfort and she loved and “was obsessed” with it, he probably felt like he was entitled to that attention.
It must be the same level of satisfaction we had reading that his GF dumped him. He didn't "approve" that something that bothered him was so important for his GF. And thought he could force his POV. What did he think? That his GF hold the blanket all her life because she couldn't afford a fancy new one? What an AH Imagine having besides you someone that acts like this every time you have a disagreement
OP’s act of burning the blanket is on the same level of cruel and heartless as the same dude that destroyed his (ex)wife’s past wedding ring from a few days ago.
You ever noticed how it’s the men that get rid of their girlfriends things most of the time? The guy that threw out his girls fun socks she collected, the one that hid his girls hair towel, the guy who destroyed the ring, the guy that threw out her girls umbilical cord in a hand made bag, this guy. Another guy burned his girls dead sisters candles she made. Why are guys threatened by items so much?
Yep He set it on fire he has WAY more issues than he believes his now ex had This person is unstable and controlling He took it as an affront that she was comfortable enough around him to not hid this part of herself He didn't want a girlfriend he wanted a uncomplicated sex doll he could show off to the world
I’m truly sorry also I am a little late apologies in advance For the ignorance on stuff like this bro I find it a little weird that a grown ass adult doesn’t wash a blanket that she uses constantly like that that’s really gross for example I am going to make a custom blanket when I have kids and when they get a little too old for it I’m going to frame it but other than that I find your story super weird
Exactly and I doubt he will ever see it. If anything he needs counselling as that delight in setting fire to the blanket could go very very badly if anything else his partner would do or have gets in the way of his ideals and standards.
@@Roastpaperover9000- it might be weird too you, . i see how it would be uncomftarble with the smell and all. That being said it still doesnt give him the right to be a controling asshole. This was about trust. She trusted him he just betrayed her. Then lied about it seeing she was anxious and upset. This relationship didnt end because off the blanket. It ended because he has a lack of empthy is controling and a liar. He has some growing up to do.
It wasn’t just over the blanket. It was the fact he didn’t listen to her or anyone else or try to understand how she felt. There was such a lack of empathy and respect.
"It felt amazing" "no longer can it come between me and my girl" This combined with the gaslighting is disturbing. I hope HE gets therapy before dating anyone else less he burn his next girlfriend's things because it "got between" them and lies about when she gets upset.
The fact that he could never understand why she would be attached to it makes me feel like he may have anti-social personality disorder or some form of mental health disorders. With the lack of empathy and his very cruel actions(that he was gleeful about), he gives me creepy vibes.
He’s clearly the kind to have a GF’s cat (which annoys him) put to sleep, and claim poor Mittens just ran away. ‘It’s JUST a stupid old cat! I didn’t think it was a big deal.’
Story 1: OP, her leaving wasn't just the blanket (though that was probably 98% of the reason why). It was the fact you lied to her, disrespected her wishes, tried to cover it up and hurt her so deeply with your actions. She told you why it was so important. She did try to respect YOUR wishes to not have it near you as often (putting it under cushions, moving it away from you etc.) and yet, you still thought "she's being selfish". You betrayed her. That is why she left
I always find it saddening that these people who post on Reddit stating the SO is selfish for this reason or that reason, do not see their actions as also being selfish. Do they truly not see it??? It's like the gangs going on about "coming into my territory and showing me no respect!" when they're the ones who have just r*ped/killed someone, got someone hooked on drugs, mugged a person for the five dollars they had in their purse, broken into someone's home, looted, and vandalised. The hypocrisy is astounding.
"no longer can it stand between me and my girl" imagine being jealous of a blanket that causes immense comfort and security for someone you supposedly love
This is what makes me believe that this story is pure ragebait. Nobody can be this clueless, nobody can be this evil, nobody can be this stubborn ! Right ??
@@paxtheskeleton6636 actually they can be. My father was the same way to me. *backstory* 23 yrs ago, my uncle gave me a comforter set for my birthday. (2 pillowcases, a sheet, & a comforter. All reversible. 1 side was sky blue, the other side navy blue.) 2 wks later he passed away from a heart attack. That set was the last thing I got from him, & was the last time I saw/spoke to him. As the yrs went on, I met a guy, we dated, & got a place together. Months later we had a fight, & I went to my mother's house for the night. I took my pillow with me, that had 1 of the pillowcases from the set on it. Next day he breaks up with me, & refuses to give me the rest of my comforter set. And because it was a gift for my birthday, by my uncle who passed away. There was no way to prove the set was mine, if I were to get the law involved. So I let him keep it, while I kept the pillowcase. More yrs pass, my dad buys a house for me to raise my 1st child in. While he lives upstairs, I live downstairs with my daughter. My dad finds out I'm attached to it. He waited till I left the house, & he throws it in the trash. At the bottom of the barrel. Thinking I won't see/find it. Or take it out if I had found it. Whelp. I did find it. It was 3 hrs before bed & I had just put my daughter to bed. I go start setting things up for my bedtime. You know (shower, pulls things out for the next day ect.) I go over to my bed, & notice the comforter is over my pillow. When I tuck it under my pillow. Upon further inspection, I noticed my room was tampered with, & saw my pillowcase was gone. I knew what happened. As my dad had said to me 2 wks prior, "don't you think you're a little too old to be sleeping with that? You're 20 yrs old. Time to grow up." I immediately went straight to the garbage can & found it at the bottom of the barrel. Underneath the mashed potatoes, & gravy from our turkey dinner from the other night. My heart sank. I pulled it out, to see it completely soaked, & fermented in mashed potatoes, gravy, & everything else that was in that trash barrel. I did not sleep at all that night. Instead I spent the following 11 hrs, just washing & rewashing my pillowcase. I had washed, & dried it a total of 13 times, before I even felt it was safe even to be put back in my room. From that day forward, every morning, I placed the pillowcase in a lockbox. So I wouldn't have to go through that again. I still have it, at 34 yrs old. But it's mainly only for sleeping comfort. Nothing more 🤷♀️. When I get up for the day, I put it away. And wash it, the moment it starts to develop a smell. Some people truly just don't understand
Oh my dog.. this OP actually got the advice from multiple people’s perspectives and he STILL decided to get rid of it. If someone destroyed my comfort item I would NEVER forgive them. And why does she need to “wean it off” who is she hurting by having that as a coping mechanism?! Please tell me that she dumps OP.. Edit: good on the ex girlfriend for dumping OP but holy cow “I realized how I messed up” no you didn’t you continued to double down and try to gaslight her and lied to her.
‼️Well to be fair reddit was acting purposefully stupid and kept implying it was because he was embarrassed only and ignored the fact the major problem is because it stinks and is greasy. That would literally make me throw up. Yeah he definitely shouldn't have thrown it away like a psychopath tho! WTF! He should have just dumped her and moved on. She's clearly not very clean and has a different hygiene standard than he does so idk why he would want to be with someone who enjoys stinky greasy bacteria ridden blankets in the bed. Also when they first started dating she just kept it on the bed and he didn't have a problem with that as much which proves she is able to be without it she's just choosing not to. Honestly she seems pretty inconsiderate and gross but he is a psycho for throwing it away instead of just dumping her. Like that's wayyy worse than her being uncaring and inconsiderate and unhygienic. He's just straight up a psycho. It's actually kind of ironic that he cared just as little for her feelings as she cared about his.
This is 100% the type of guy that thinks “sorry” makes up for EVERYTHING and if you don’t forgive them you’re wrong. Sorry I threw out your favorite pillows. Sorry I wrecked your car. Sorry I hit you. But I said I’m sorry so that’s good enough. This entire story he’s like “I’ll be conniving and manipulative and gaslighting, but I’m SURE a gift and a sorry will erase everything.” And I just can’t fathom the Gaul people have that they throw out other peoples things. My mother did that all the time and now if anyone ever tries I’ll be on a rampage. I like my things dammit. That’s why they’re mine.
Sadly, it's people like OP in this story that fail to see the sentimentality of some things. Sometimes there are objects and possessions we have that hold a great deal of memories for us. People like OP, who are inept to realize the value people place in such objects and are quick to discredit the said-value, often burn bridges between people like their friends, relatives and even significant others; all because they are too selfish to accept what matters to the other person and think more about what matters to them instead. In this case, OP was too disgusted by a precious, childhood possession of his GF to even see how much it matters to her. He literally burned years worth of childhood memories for her, all because he was too blind to see past the blanket itself. He claims that his ex GF threw away 2 years over a blanket? Oh no. HE was the one who threw away 2 years over several memories that his ex wanted to keep close to her. A disgusting human being-- no, human is far too kind; A disgusting POS in my opinion. I hope OP genuinely suffers from his actions and realizes the extent of how badly he "messed up"
There is a HUGE difference in real monetary value between a car and a nasty hole ridden smelly oily blanket. If they went to court the judge would say "This crap is what I went to law school for" and give her $10 and close the case.
@@9999plato Even if it’s worth less than nothing in monetary value, if she can prove a monetary value on pain and suffering (lost wages, therapy, etc.) because he stole and destroyed her property, then she would win something. Even if not, and I believe pain and suffering is hard to prove, I’ve seen a judge or two who would be _happy_ to read him the riot act and tell him what they see happen to people who don’t respect other people’s belongings. She won’t sue him because the time and effort isn’t worth it, anyway. Leaving was the much easier and smarter choice.
That's the issue with taking a comfort item away from people. They realise they don't need you, either. Never mess with someone who says " It is what it is" because they WILL walk away without a second glance.
Damn, I say that saying quite a bit, I suppose I do easily walk away, let things/ppl go. Except for like my mom, husband and kids. Never really thought about it.
“It will no longer taunt me.” “It’s just a piece of cloth.” “She’ll forget and move on.” It was never about what it looked like, what it smelled like, or anything like that. It was because of its very presence in her life. It was a priority to her. She paid attention to it. She told him OVER and OVER again what it meant to her. And he didn’t care. He didn’t like competing with a blanket. He didn’t like getting in trouble. He didn’t understand and actively refused to. He destroyed her most precious possession in the world beyond repair, lied, cried, and whined about ONLY himself. OP is a downright monster and he deserves to burn for it. I hope that blanket fucking haunts him.
The smell of an unwashed blanket could easily be bad. Imagine someone not showering for a year in any form. Destroying her property, though? That part is bad. I use a teddy bear big as my upper body to sleep if I'm alone, but not if I share a bed with someone. The bear is clean, though, and I can see why a blanket smelling like mold could be damaging to anyone. I wish he got her to clean it or something instead of burning it. If she sleeps better with it, then do be it. Dude's an ass for burning it.
Yeah he wouldn't be an asshole if he broke up with her over it, because if something bothers you that much, you don't have to put up with it. But to destroy it guarantees a breakup, and for nothing. I also don't think a full grown adult would be that attached to a blanket if they didn't have some significant trauma. Destroying someone's comfort object is real fucked up
She seemed really uncompromising with most of the valid issues OP had with her blanket. I feel like this relationship was doomed whether the blanket was burned or not. At least it won't be any of her future partner's problem!
@@solmas2111 Exactly. If it’s all that bad and there was no middle ground to be found, i.e., getting it cleaned, then OP either needed to help her find some other way to cope with her anxiety (as suggested by one commenter) or move on. His solution sucks and will go on sucking for quite some time. Hell, he probably increased her need for a security item of some kind. Not smart.
Reminds me of that story where the OP there threw away the GF's shirt that a decreased friend gave her. Glad that the GF broke up with him, should've listened to the advice. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes Also, I like how he says that SHE'S overreacting for dumping him over a blanket, like dude, didn't you come to reddit for advice over that same blanket? What a Hypocrite.
The more OP talks about the blanket the more convinced I become that he's over exaggerating. I'm guessing that her attachment to the blanket makes him feel insecure in the relationship and he is in desperate need of therapy in more ways than just that. Edit: at this point I'm convinced that OP is a literal sociopath. The way commenters and his girlfriend have in detail explain to him the importance of the blanket and his response every single time is "well I just don't get it" I remember reading a story a long time ago about a girl who was in love with a officially diagnosed sociopath and before he started going to therapy to get help adapting to the world with an abnormal brain he exhibited a lot of the same behaviors.
The thing that gets me is that OP could've left. If he didn't want to have a girlfriend with a security blanket, he didn't have to. He could've taken his sorry ass somewhere else and boom, wonderful, no more smell. Sometimes differences are irreconcilable. If her keeping the blanket out of your sight isn't enough then maybe you're just not compatible. Even in the first part, he didn't talk to her about washing it. He *washed it without her consent*. He was treating his girlfriend like a misbehaving dog instead of a full on human being. I feel so sorry for that girl. I hope she finds some other comfort item at some point, and I hope that AH stubs his toes against every piece of furniture in existence for the the rest of eternity.
OP was an ass, definitely. I dont know if having a security item itself was an issue or if it was the cleanliness of the item was the issue. A comfort item is fine, but I would want it to be clean. At that point a conversation does need to be had, and if a solution cant be reached, a break up. I cant imagine ever burning someone else’s items without a very very good reason, like they cheated or something. XD I’d have to hate them to do that.
Yes, I think he's sicker than his girlfriend. He needs a psychiatrist. He does remind me of my ex hubby who often gave my things away because "you don't need that".
I would have a hard time living with something like that if it smelled bad and they wouldn't wash it, and her refusing to understand that is a problem. But he doesn't have the right to destroy it, just break up already!
Story 1: I can understand the "it stinks" part, but imagine thinking it's a bad habit to carry around something that brings you _comfort._ Dude, I'd bring stuffed animals to school with me back when I was in high school (granted they were small enough to sit in my bag when necessary but still) and nobody bat an eye to it. In fact other people started bringing theirs after seeing me do it and not get in trouble for doing so, people just like having things that keep them calm and for her that's a blanket. Edit: Oh my GOD Op! "It'll no longer stand between me and my girl" YOU stood between you and "your girl" and then you fucking GASLIT her after because you KNEW what you did was wrong and didn't want to admit how much of a vile piece of shit you are. Edit 2: "I didn't realize how much it meant to her" she told you point blank how much it meant to her, you just tuned it out cause it wasn't what you wanted to hear. Edit 3: So telling her the truth is "a bad idea" and "won't help the relationship" but burning her blanket and looking her in the eyes as you lie about having anything to do with its disappearance _isn't?_
I qould murder him. I legit would not care. Tht is mental abuse of one of the highest prders considering the context. Tht fucker is a heartless pos sprry excuse of a human being and oxygen waster. I would murder. or damn near murder rht pos. My stuffy orange and ny kiddie habits bring comfort and make me happy. Id leave u long before it got to this point with him. Throw tht bitch out. My stuffird have more heart and soul then the pos of story 1 Story 1: YTA 1 billion percent
If you find yourself at a point where you are burning your SO's things and lying to them, just break up. How can you say you love someone but treat them like that?
@@dillongage oh I know some did, but guess what? It didn't stop me because I didn't care, especially when, like I said, others started bringing theirs as well. Some of the _same_ people who were talking shit and acted like they were "too cool/tough" to do something like that, I saw walking around with teddy bears in hand or hanging out in their bag. What exactly was your point here?
My wife also has a ratty old comfort blanket, though it mostly just stays packed away in the closet nowadays. I do want to share a more light-hearted story she likes to tell about it though. Apparently when she was going to preschool (or maybe kindergarten?) she wanted to bring her blanket along with her, and one of the ways her mom tried to get her to leave it at home was by asking her "You're not going to take it with you to college, are you?" To which she very defiantly replied, "Yes I WILL." So anyway, she did in fact take that blankie to college with her, though partly to vindicate her child self.
Absolutely nothing wrong with having a comfort blanket but if the smell is as bad as OP says it is then that's a problem. I draw the line at hygiene. Haven't finished the story yet so idk what happened but yea hygiene is a big deal and if they weren't willing to compromise and atleast wash it that'd be an issue for me. Edit: Woahhh. OP is a real pos. The gaslighting and destroying her property was the worst thing he could've done. Yes she had an unhealthy attachment to the blanket to the point where she wouldn't even wash it but that's not how u deal with this kind of thing. Absolutely despicable.
Then he should have left the relationship. He said it himself: "I hate her." Granted, it was in the context of "I hate her having it" but it was still a Freudian slip.
It’s kind of like an addict. You can’t force someone to get better, they have to get to that mental place themself. He should’ve brought it up one last time and left her if she wasn’t willing to bend. This guy is a major POS.
If it’s such an issue though he should have just left instead of psychologically fucking her over. What he did is called gaslighting. She deserves far better than OP.
You're gonna trust that someone who would do this instead of being an adult about it, is being honest about how dirty and smelly it is? Regardless, if it was that big of a deal - having put up with it for 2 years - then he should have been more adult himself and left.
I had 3 comfort blankets growing up.... And, my parents threw out each one in hopes I'd be ok without it. Why? Because, I sucked my thumb while the blanket was smushed to my face. They were embarrassed of me. They even tried putting horrible tasting gel on my thumb to stop me. Almost forgot about it. They were abusive and neglectful. I never had any kind of comfort, so the last time they got rid of my blanket/shamed me I turned to food instead. I got fat, and they were more ashamed. Let kids take comfort in what they can.
My youngest daughter sucked her thumb and used a "silky" to rub under her nose. When my husband and I divorced because abuse, he remarried a very young girl. She was upset because the "silky" was a pair of bikini underwear. Either mine or my youngest sister. They bother a piece of satin material, nope. Not a silky. I never seen two more Immature people throwing a fit because a 18 month old child wanted a pair of panties,lol
I remember some man on a chat show talking about how every now and again he throws away whatever his kids favorite toy is so they don't get overly attached to things, I felt almost sick hearing about it. there is a special place in hell for people who think they can just get rid of something that someone loves because "its just a thing."
My understanding of this concept is that it’s a misguided attempt to teach a child how to deal with grief and loss. You know, by killing the thing they love the most. That’s not traumatic at all.
@@0SC2 My mom did this. Every time she got upset at me for anything, she'd turn her rage on my books and shred them and make me watch. Loooove having commitment/attachment/trust isues.
@@akkiko, I am seriously sorry for what happened to you. So unfair and hurtful. Was someone mean to them while they were growing up? I just don't understand why someone who's supposed to love and protect you does things like that ❤.
OP: I find my girlfriend's highly sentimental comfort blanket to be really nasty. Me: Fair. OP: It's also embarrassing. Me: Less fair, but you're entitled to your opinion. OP: So I burned it. Me: DUDE NO WHAT ABOUT YOUR GF'S FEELINGS?! It all went in one ear and out the other, clearly.
Honestly, I was with OP at first, if I had a partner that had a special blanket or stuffed toy, it wouldn't bother me not one bit, but it *would* really bother me if the thing smelled bad, that would be a real issue, but god damn, how stupid and cruel can OP be?? Destroyed her property and lied to her several times.... this person doesn't know what "love" is
Initially yeah I could understand the OP. But what I can't fathom is if this is an issue, he communicated his issue respectfully and he gets a no in response (we it words or actions), why did he choose to remain in the relationship? It was clear the blanket was going to stay. He had asked if she could remove it and she said no. Compatibility is important in relationships. He doesn't have to like the blanket but choosing a relationship with her meant accepting it. Her actions demisters this was non-negotiable. If couldn't or didn't want to accept this there are options to date people who don't hang onto questionably unhygienic objects. If a person I was dating had or did something that really bothered me then that's a good indication we aren't compatible and its time to end things.
Saaame. Everything OP did in the updates is horrendous and he's a huge asshole for calling her immature and destroying it and lying. But so much of the original post focused on it being dirty and smelling horrible and I couldn't believe how all the comments on that first post were overlooking that. Like yeah, I understand that she should be able to carry her blanket around without shame, but the refusal to wash it seriously grossed me out, and she can't claim it doesn't affect anyone else when OP had to sleep in bed with it. Obviously nothing justifies all his massively terrible behavior in how he went about it, but she could have at least compromised and washed it. Like, if this blanket had been skunk sprayed would people still be saying "just deal with it, the smell brings her comfort"? If someone had a bad hygiene issue with terrible body odor, would people be saying "that's just who they are"?
Honestly, I question if it actually smelled bad. I have part of my old comfort blanket still (36 now and I've had the blanket since I was 3) and I rarely wash it (I'm really worried it will disintegrate at this point since its pretty tattered) and the only way I smell it is when I have it up to my nose and I usually have a really good sense of smell. Given the fact that he lied to his GF about burning it, I'd bet dollars to donuts he lied to Reddit so he'd have some sort of legit sounding excuse to get rid of what he considered "immature".
I love when the person that goes out of their way to get rid of something their SO really cares about is completely baffled when the other person get mad. I always find it insane. Like, even if you think you are right, you should expect some backlash
A part of me thinks he did it because it had sentimental value to her. I mean think about it. He wrote about burning it like he was getting revenge on her ex or something. "The blanket will never come between us again", and stuff like that. And despite trying to justify it by saying the blanket was embarrassing or that it smelled he still got her a new one when he felt guilty. He didn't mind her having a blanket he just had to make sure it was one he gave her. To me it kinda feels like one of those guys who gets unreasonably upset if they think their gf has something from their last relationship like presents or jewelry. I might be off base but that's just the vibe I got after thinking about it some.
As someone who can relate to the girlfriend. OP doesn't understand that 90% of us who have comfort items, have gone through trauma, or have had them since infancy, or were given items as gifts from someone who no longer is alive. I've been with my fiance 7 yrs now. I have a pillowcase from a comforter set my uncle gave me 2 wks before he passed away. And that same pillowcase is all I have left from the set, & was the last thing I have as a connection to my uncle. Now, 23 yrs later, I still have that same pillowcase my uncle gave me when I was just 11 yrs old. If my fiance ever did that to me, IDC how long you've been with me, or what we have been through. The relationship ends the second you betray someone like that. While yes talking to your significant other, & getting hugs, & cuddles from them helps. Nothing comforts quite like a comfort item. And you can't just give said item up, get rid of it, or move on from it. It just doesn't work like that. My fiance would never betray me like that. In fact, whenever I go through a traumatic situation, & he notices I'm having a hard time dealing. When we are alone, he will actually go out of his way to track it down for me. And whenever I can't find it at bedtime, he'll get up & help me to find it as well. Altho mine is only a sleep thing. Rarely do I ever look for it, in times of distress 🤷♀️. I only look for it when I'm tired & want to sleep. Other than that, it's not on my mind, & hangs out behind my pillow. Altho I can agree with OP on 1 thing. It should be washed. Even I have a comfort thing, & I always make sure to wash it twice a month. Sometimes once a wk if I notice it is starting to get a smell to it. But all in all. Such a very dumb thing to do. He was in denial the whole time. He knew it would upset her. He knew what it meant to her. He was just looking for validation for what he thought, & had done. And because no 1 agreed with him, & after seeing his gf up, & leave him over it. Then, & only then did he admit his wrongdoing. Such a shame.
I listened to this during my lunch and was absolutely DEVASTATED when he burned the blanket. How on earth did he get this far in life without so much as a smidge of empathy? He had a shopping list of transgressions ranging from selfishness and manipulation to emotional abuse and destruction of property. There was a reason that he didn’t like the blanket, and that is NOT bc it was “stinky and old”. It was because it gave her a comfort and peace he clearly could not provide. “How could she need a BLANKET when she has me?” Well, it’s because you literally suck, and I pray he has -5 bitches for the rest of his life. I hope he finds his true love and she cheats on him. I hope every woman he’s interested in turns him down before he even has the chance to ask them out
I hope he one day understands the gravity of what he’s done and if he ever attempts to truly apologize I hope that he’s only met with the realization that the girlfriend never needed him and is succeeding in life without him
Well, this was like a trainwreck in slow-motion. But I have to say that OP calling the gf "selfish" and "immature" when this unempathetic, smooth-brained idiot stole from her, destroyed her property and lied to her for entirely selfish and outright childish concerns is a nice touch for irony's sake.
They were both being selfish and self serving, he should never have done what he did but she should not have been forcing him to deal with it in shared spaces after telling her his issues, and the shared bed is not a compromise unless it's stuffed in her pillowcase and never goes near his side of the bed. Neither is in a good place to be in a relationship. Perhaps both will be better equipped next time.
Yup. Every god damn time. He was warned, time and time again and he went, “lol I know better.” It got worse and he came running back crying only to end with, “lol I know better” and made it worse
If I were him, I'd have dumped her early on. For me, it's not the security blanket part, it's the fact that she never washed it for years. That's fucking disgusting. It's unfair to both of them tbh.
I knew it was gonna be bad when he said, "She no longer cares about keeping her bad habits discreet from me" This is the kinda guy that wants his wife to wake up at 5am to put on light makeup and go back to sleep so that he never sees not looking her best.
Nah, this is like the woman who is revolted that her bedparner of two years no longer hold in his farts but instead farts on her, sticks his head under the cover and sniffs his own fart. And then picks his nose and eats the booger. Hey! It's comforting! And it's cute, right, that he feels so comfortable around his girlfriend that he no longer feels the need to hide his disgusting habits from her. What is she complaining about?!!
The dude that burned his girlfriend then flat out lied to her face is totally the AH. What a brutally selfish and cruel thing to do to someone he claimed to love. This decision he made to burn the blanket burned the relationship to the ground. What a jerk.
Man in all my years of living I never wanted to destroy someone else's property, especially not something they had SINCE BIRTH and carry around with them every chance they get. I can't understand how he can love her and then turn around and completely destroy something that's clearly so precious to her. The part where he lies to her face, helps her look for it, and even enjoys burning the blanket so much is just so creepy. Hope the girlfriend never had to see OP again
Why in the hell did he go to Reddit in the first place?! SHE’S selfish?! I feel so sad for the girlfriend. That was her property and something she clearly had a strong attachment to and he just decided that what he felt and what he thought mattered more than her, the law, and the advice of all the internet strangers he solicited for advice. I just… 😳😡 ETA: He thought she’d assume she “lost” the thing that’s clearly of vital importance to her that she never took out of the house and that he hates?! 🤦🏻♀️ ETA2: When he bought the new blanket I started thinking this was a troll. But then the trickle-truthing begun and I was to believing he’s just that selfish and stupid and has the emotional range of a teaspoon.
I agree with you. He’s not listening and all he’s thinking is how he feels. Even after she explained he still doesn’t get it. He just needs to exit her life and leave her alone.
Never washing a blanket is so nasty! I can't imagine how horrible that thing smelled! That being said, this guy is a total jerk for burning the thing! He should have just broke up with her. Or maybe he could have "accidentally" washed it with the sheets. My sister is 40 and she still has a stuffed pig from when she was a baby. Her husband has a stuffy from when he was a baby too. They no longer sleep with them, but they are kept on a shelf on the closet. I couldn't imagine something happening to her piggy. She loves that thing more than anything. She washes it regularly though! There is no way I'd sleep in the same bed with something that hasn't been washed in years and years. That just seems unsanitary and dangerous.
I'm crying my eyes out for her, I have a coat that my husband knows means a lot. He brings it to me, I have it in the car too. I sleep with it, I cannot bare to think someone could do that. My mother was abusive and use to mock me and say she burnt it. What he did is evil beyond compare, my heart breaks for her. I cannot imagine the loss.
Wow. Just wow. First op... Ooooof. It was never about the blanket and the smell, it was about control and it was about him making her into an 'adult' now that she's in a 'grown up relationship'.
Bruh. I was actually with him in his frustration at the start. Especially if it's not cleaned, I would have a problem too. But she literally told him that it was a valued thing from her mother and he destroyed it? That's incredibly cruel. If she wasn't willing to learn to navigate life without having it in bed with them and he wasn't willing to learn to live with it, they needed to break up. He instead took the most heartless route ever. And for a relationship that's already over.
What was SO hard about leaving the girl who carries around something that makes you dry vomit bc of it's horrendous moldy smell vs getting dumped by a sobbing woman that you just gave trust issues?
I love how everyone's attacking OP for this. It's like dating a perfectly reasonable hoarder and one day you open their front door and the rats start coming out. All the commenters are telling you "YTA" when you through away some newspapers and dead cats.
@@peteranon8455 hoarding and keeping a stupid blanket are not the same thing. Now if she had a pile of stupid blankets that filled the entire house he would be right.
When someone breaks down like that in front of you and cries with grief, and you don’t get why, you need a lot of help in learning empathy. Even after he realized he did wrong, he still didn’t get how deep that betrayal was. It’s very sad.
Op keeps talking about how she threw away 2 years😔 he really has no self awareness. It's disheartening how many people there are in the world like this. People who see others happy with something that's harmless and want to destroy it because they don't understand will learn eventually. Hopefully he learns before he ends up alone forever🙏
quite frankly i hope he doesn't get into another relationship, with what he learned from this one he's gonna just get worse if he doesn't get a wake up call- and this should've been it and yet
And at the end of the story… after all that, seeing his gfs despair, having it broken down by his gf and thousands of strangers on the interwebs, he still doesn’t get it. OP, you’re the one who destroyed your relationship over a ‘stupid blanket’
This is why when I got into a serious relationship I gave away my old blankets. I was afraid to be judged by my ex boyfriend when we were dating but it makes me happy that so many people think its not that abnormal
Hi. Everyone is missing something HUGE here. I've been in enough support groups for people abused and neglected as kids and this lady's blanket screams it. She needs a lot of professional help. I'm guessing she was really neglected by her parents growing up and this blanket and sewage smell are her "mother comforts" she never got from her actual parents. She needs a specialized therapist who works with c-ptsd Edit: by burning the blanket and lying to her he's only created MORE issues for her. He's abusing her so now she'll only cling to her c-ptsd more. Dude should of just dumped her instead.
I took it that the blanket was something remaining of her mother who might've passed away or left the picture when she was pretty little. Sure, she has issues whatever they are but Op could have broke up with her before it got to this point, as that would have been the kindest thing to do. Instead, he goes and does this rotten thing.
I want to point out a couple of things here: It’s not always because parents neglect kids, it can be other factors. When I was four I had extremely violent nightmares so my mum bought be a stuffed animal saying she was a special one that came into my dreams and tell the bad ones to go away-it helped until I got older and I got really sick. When I was nine I had to be in and out of the hospital extremely sick which still affects me to this day. Hospitals give me severe anxiety because I have to go in from my medical issues (due to an autoimmune disease) annually. My stuffed animals and sleeping tablets are the only way I can sleep there or else I get shaky and sometimes cry because of how overwhelmed I get. It really depends on the person and situation not necessarily due to parents alone. There’s many factors it could possibly be.
as a 27 yo with a comfort blanket im scared of this one edit: he whines that she's not compromising but he is the one who isn't, also gets told by the entirity of reddit that if he does sth to the blanket it's prolly game over, yet he stilled did and had the audacity to act shocked.... wow...
IKR? If anything, SHE has compromised after their first discussion by hiding the blanket from his view and using it only when he wasn't around, but he still refused to accept it. What an AH
OP got it backwards - If in a two year relationship you're not comfortable around someone enough to share deep personal matters (such as the blanket), then something's not working. I'm glad the girlfriend dumped this controlling AH
Okay, i can get OP having issues with the blanket if it's really as nasty as described (which his behavior in the escalating updates makes me doubt) However, there were SO many things he could have done before burning it. He could have asked her to sleep in a separate bedroom if she couldn't sleep without it. Hell, he could have asked her to leave and work on weaning off her dependency on the blanket before they tried living together again. He could have just, i dunno, broken up with her? They've been dating for two years, not twenty. The world wouldn't have ended. Instead, he decided to destroy it so thoroughly that she would NEVER be able to salvage it. And then he threw in some lying and gaslighting on top. I'm so glad she dumped his ass. Wonder what he would have tried to destroy next if he'd gotten away with this one.
I sleep with a blanket that was my son we lost 19 weeks into my pregnancy.I pet it for comfort. It’s becoming worn. It’s been 6 years, and I am very ill. The blanket brings me so much comfort. I am thankful my husband understands and only cares about my happiness.
Okay it's been over a year since Mark started doing this full time and just have to say I love how he's still singing at the beginning of his videos. Mark, you made the right move. This fits you!
Op is an absolute jerk. It means so much to her. Just because he can't understand why she likes it. Doesn't mean she had to get rid of it just to make him happy. 😡
The fact that it took His ex breaking down in front of him for him to finally ‘understand’ just makes my blood boil!? I have a comfort blanket to that I sleep with every single night! It’s old and ratty the underside is practically falling out of it! Now granted I do wash it, but I can understand her not wanting to give it up. And hell as far as we might be aware she could be on the spectrum! And as someone who is on the spectrum, things like touch and things that we have very very vicious reactions towards. When I tried broccoli for the first time which it tasted absolutely fantastic I literally nearly threw up because of the crunch! It literally didn’t matter how tasty I found it my body literally wouldn’t let me eat it!
This reminds me of another scenario where OP asked his wife for a paternity test because their youngest son did not look like him. After being estranged from this child (who I think was under 10yo), accusing his wife of infidelity, and not listening when she said he looks like her grandfather, when the test came back that the child was indeed his, he was incredulous that his wife petitioned for divorce "all over a stupid test." What is that? When the bigger issue has been explained to you, is glaring at you, and you still cannot (or refuse to) see it?
When he said he burnt the blanket… I fr almost started crying for her. I could not imagine my love doing me like that and being so nonchalant about it on top of that. Like it took her breaking down crying for him to understand that he did something so cruel. How? How did you not feel guilty when she was searching the house and you over here telling her places to look and helping her look?…. Sick. My heart breaks for her and I hope she finds a good way to heal from this betrayal smh.
As an adult with a comfort blanket, reading the guy in the first story burned his GF's made me physically sick. If my husband did that, I would instantly end things. He knows it's important to me, has always known that I have it, and has accepted that it is a part of me like a freaking adult. Yeah it's old, tattered, and a bit out of place in our house, but no one cares.
Does your blanket have a nauseating smell that makes people gag and want to throw up? I'm not defending his throwing the blanket away that's what makes him the A-hole; he should have broken up with her.
Exactly. Burning the blanket was wrong. I am right with the guy about it being gross and weird but I think that was a sign he should have just ended it, not destroyed it and then lied.
I used to have a blanket as a kid. I even named it! I no longer use it as a comfort blanket nowadays, but I still have it, as a memory, like some people keep their first teddy bear :) (it doesn't even look like a blanket tho, it's been torn and re-sewn so many friggin' times, it looks like a rag you should toss out with the trash... but it's the memories it holds. My mom washed it tho, and I would wait by the washer and afterwards the dryer until I had it back)
It was more than a comfort blanket. I've only known some small children to be attached to "blankies" and that has evolved from various levels of emotional stress and/or trauma, but adults who are like this should also get to the core of their issues. I do not want to offend you Alixa, but am merely pointing out that it's a piece of cloth. Family, loved ones, do take precedent over tattered cloth. OP's gf has mental health issues to the point where she couldn't wash it. The blanket's filth reeked and the bacteria building does pose a health risk of illness and infection and also attracts pests that would carry and spread the bacteria/germs. The gf's deeply rooted need for something that disgusting, that she didn't even want to wash it, was very telling that she needs extensive mental health support.
I can't for the life of me continue listening to this... OP is one of those disgusting people that don't care about mental health and this is very triggering for me... love you Mark tho!
It's made me anxious, and I don't have anxiety! At least.... I didn't. My ex husband never cared if anything was mine and he wanted to throw it away, then he would! He threw away my piano when we moved house. It was an old one I just plunked on until I could start lessons, but no, it was a waste of space so he got rid of it.
@@carolroberts4614 what he did was absolutely atrocious and I hope you are healing well from it or healed well from it!!! God or universe or whatever you believe in blesses you! 🤗🤗🤗💕
Thankyou! Unfortunately that wasn't the worst of what he did! Cheated, was mean with money, and didn't bother much with our two girls when we split up. This was many years ago now, and he is living a lonely old age.Oh dear, what a pity, never mind, as we say in the family( British understatement)!
Story 1: I have autism. Part of it is that I love smelling things, even more if it’s fabric. I do it unconsciously, in private and in public. It brings me huge comfort and peace. I get OPs ex girlfriend with the whole thing of it smelling different. The smell of grabéis softeners and some specific cleaners is irritating to me, and it makes me head hurt, so if I wash things, it takes me a few days to fully be able to smell them again and bring me the comfort I need. He is an absolute crazy person for burning something so important to her and not even realizing he did bad afterwards. My bf knows about me smelling things, and he himself gives me his jackets or sweaters when he sees I have nothing to cuddle or smell for comfort. That is how a real person that loves you acts. He doesn’t understand it, but he doesn’t judge you for it. As long as it isn’t hurting anyone, I don’t get why it angers him so much.
If you’re carrying around a moldy old blanket that you don’t wash then autism is not an excuse this is disgusting what this man did it’s fucking horrific but wash your fucking blanket memories should keep you going not moldy old smells from a blanket you don’t wash do you know on how unsanitary and disgusting that is
I’ve always been comforted by silk and satin with familiar scents embedded into it. Rubbing my face into it and feeling the texture really helps put me at ease. It used to be so bad- like the woman in the story- I couldn’t sleep without having that scent ant texture. My mom would take my cloths away or throw them out as punishment. Shit caused some resentment, but I’d always have extra hidden from her so I could sleep. After trying to ween myself off it because I was told it was embarrassing to do, I can sleep without it but I sleep much better as an adult with my satin pillow. It comes around the house with me and it’s just good for my sensory issues fr. Apparently my mom breast fed me in silk pjs and I got very attached to rubbing them on my lips. They smelled like her and somehow she and my dad figured out that it helped soothe me as a baby- so the cut up her pajamas and gave me bits of fabric to put me to sleep. Replacing them if I lost it. I wasn’t allowed to take “tag” to school, but I’d sneak it anyway. There was a specific way I liked it, especially scent-wise. No one else could touch it besides my mom or my dad because it would fuck up the smell. If it got yucky, I’d wash it because I wanted the silky texture along with my scent to be on it. That’s it though. Same with my pillow. I won’t share them because I don’t want other people’s scent on them. If I let you use my pillow, I love you and I find your smell soothing. Like home. I feel awful for OP’s Ex and I was yelling the whole time because I completely get it. She had a blanket perfectly soothing and suited for her and he didn’t recognize or appreciate the comfort that it gave her. I would’ve left his selfish, childish, un-empathetic ass too. Even if he didn’t lie about it, I told you how much it means to me and you fucking **burn it**? Fuck him. What a cunt.
@@idontgiveah00t I 100% agree!!! I wouldn’t even be surprised if the blanket wasn’t in such a bad state and he just said it was to make his gf “look crazy”
She didn’t break up with him over the blanket. She broke up with him because he gaslit her and lied to her. He damaged her trust when he burnt the blanket, but he demolished it and salted the earth when he lied to her about it.
I think OP is also gaslighting the audience. The reason her blanket might mean so much to her is because it could be an ancestral quilt blanket, where her family tree blanket contained a piece of each family members clothes and went far back in the tree. Those blankets while really old are priceless both monetarily and emotionally. He probably didn't mention it to try to make his side look better but no matter how much lipstick you put on a pig it's still a pig.
Even at the beginning of the story, I was scared that he was going to throw out or destroy the blanket. Was hoping that he wouldn't but nope, he's irredeemable. Poor girl deserves someone who can actually respect her.
Story 1: OP has selective hearing, I swear. She literally told you it was about the betrayal of trust and lying... and you still think it's about the blanket. How dense are you?!
Ngl, I was first on his side. I, admittedly, still have my old baby blanket as my comfort item, but I try to keep it clean as I can, though it does need some TLC I’m not adept in. So I figured maybe she needed to actually figure out why she wouldn’t keep it clean. Then his true colors shown. Now I’m with her wanting to transform into an 80ft Dinosaur and kick him to the curb, literally
Oh my god the update…. I so SO hope this is a troll post bc i’m actually about to cry, even after her explanation of how secure and amazing the blanket made her feel, he still calls her selfish and burns it!? This poor girl I can’t even imagine
@@degstoll it’s pretty believable that he would go from being remorseful while he was still with her to going back to not understanding after the breakup. To him he did what he thought was the right thing because he still had his girlfriend until he told the truth.
@@degstoll same, i’m glad i’m not alone on this one.. it’s pretty easy to tell when it’s written like a story vs something that is actually developing and real
"I didn't know it was so important to her." -- OP, after not only having that conversation with her in person, but also typing it out and posting it online. Poor gf. This is a hoarders origin story if I ever saw one.
What an absolute piece of human refuse. I mean, I get what he means about the smell and her never washing it, that seems pretty odd to me, but to burn- BURN, of all things- something so irreplaceable to someone you supposedly love? Unforgivable.
If the smell of the blanket is a dealbreaker for him he has the right to his feelings and end things, he does not have the right to make the decision to destroy her property. That's just never okay.
Whoa!! I had some sympathy for OP because I am sensitive to smells but damn! I can’t believe he burned it! I have a 37 yo stuffed Dragon (Dragie) and my husband loves him. When I’m out of town he will bring him out to watch tv with him. Send me selfies of the two of them. He’s great. 💛
Okay so if it smells awful that's a problem but really the only problem. Otherwise it's her property and it's her comfort item. If I were OP I would have come at it differently and would have asked her to figure out a way to take care of smell issues instead of just washing it behind her back or trying to get rid of it. Awww man... he done fucked up majorly for burning it.
Yeah I get it's tough for her and she has sensory issues and total respect for that, but it really DOES need to be washed, since it's a health and safety issue for her, especially during a pandemic.
@@solmas2111 I more meant his concerns with the cleanliness of the blanket lol he kinda proved throughout the video he only felt guilt after seeing how much it affected her and after she dumped him over it.
@@solmas2111 the cleaness should be her concern, unless she wanted to get sick, if you are smelling mold for a long time it could develop to an severe alergy or worse
You have NO idea what people that have comfort blankets have gone through to get to a point where the smell and feel of a blankey brings comfort. I have one too, and I’ve been through every form of abuse you can go through. When everything happened it was the only thing I had that brought me comfort
The comfort item was with us through our hardest times and never judged us. Apathetic SO’s were not. In the face of our comfort items? They mean nothing
This story literally made me feel faint. I have two important items, my childhood teddybear and a cheap necklace I bought at the age of 10. If someone dared to destroy any of these items I would rise hell on Earth. When OP said he'd burnt the blanket... Oh my god, I just can't, it's so heartbreaking. I hope his ex recovers from this. That douche doesn't deserve her and she is lucky to have escaped from someone so manipulative. Now he lied about a blanket, who knows what he'd lie about next.
OP ended the relationship the second he burned the blanket She had an unstable childhood where that blanket was a constant reassurance, she tried explaining and compromising but none of that mattered to him until he realized there would be consequences for him
STORY 1: reminds me of the story where OP took his girlfriend’s comfort blanket and threw it in the garbage behind her back. Having a comforter blanket/security blanket is not a bad habit. Chewing your nails and burping as loud as you can out in public are bad habits. “I don’t get it it’s a piece of cloth“ Just because something is not important to you that does not mean it should not be important to somebody else. I do have my own comfort blanket, this really cute Halloween spiderweb throw blanket, and the soft texture does align with my sensory issues. Of course I keep up with washing it because that material can easily mildew. A better compromise would have been trying to find a replica of a blanket and buying her a new one. If The smell truly was awful and it was a tattered mass of fraying loose threads then getting a new one on her terms is the best compromise. “I don’t understand why she is so attached to such a disgusting piece of cloth“ Did you ask her? Did Grandma make it for her and that Grandma is not alive anymore and that’s why she’s keeping it? Was it her source of comfort in her early childhood and she can’t part with it? Again instead of demanding that she gets rid of it a better compromise would be her getting a new one that’s exactly the same. If it wasn’t handmade by a deceased relative finding a replacement shouldn’t be that hard. UPDATE 1 & 2:…. He got advice from multiple perspectives and still went through with getting rid of it. What a selfish POS. She doesn’t need therapy because like she said having a blanket is not hurting anybody. “You should be able to give up your blanket as it’s a really immature habit for the sake of a grown-up relationship“ I would’ve kicked him in the nuts… Girlfriend explained exactly why that blanket meant to her and how it basically helps with her mental health but he didn’t give a damn. “she wasn’t listening to me she was just being plain selfish“ Hello pot this is Kettle. Seriously going into detail about how good he felt to watch that blanket burn after he said on fire, what a bastard. “No longer can it stand between me and my girl“ I’m pretty sure she’s not going to be a girl for much longer. Like did he really admit to feeling like he was in competition with a “piece of cloth“ The way he was playing the ignorance game just watching her frantically trying to find it….. I swear OP is more evil than that wife in the other story Mark read where wife took her husband’s beloved tattered T-Rex plush and got rid of it. I mean at least she said to her husband’s face with a smug look bragging about how she got rid of it instead of basically allowing him to be tortured while he tore the house up trying to find it…. “I didn’t realize how important the blanket was to her“ she said straight up to your face why it was important to her!!!! TF?!?! “no I didn’t take your blanket I would never do something like that to you“ But you did though….POS ATE: suggesting a new blanket while she still have her old one would have been something to talk about. Not you destroying her original one and automatically assuming it’s gonna be all sunshine and rainbows when you present her with a replacement. Replacements need to be done on her terms not shoved down her throat because you were a POS and you just want this problem to go away. UPDATE 3: OP is such a narc! It literally took him up to this point understand how badly he hurt GF and understand how irreplaceable that blanket was. OP does not love his girlfriend. If you love someone you would not undermine their feelings and destroy their personal property because it doesn’t tickle your fancy. Final edit: really glad she dumped his sorry ass and the fact that he still cannot wrap his head around the ramifications of what he had done just shows how much of a horrible partner he is. I’m pretty sure if something of his that was very meaningful to him was destroyed and he was met with the same “it’s just a stupid blank get over it“ he would not like that. Honestly considering how much of a narcissist he seems to be getting a taste of his own medicine will not help him understand how horrible he was to his ex girlfriend.
I feel so sorry for the GF when Op admitted to burning the blanket. At that moment, she knew she had lost a part of her childhood that she would never see again; and all because of the total Asshole she was with. I would have felt so heartbroken if I were in her shoes. GF has more grace then I do because she simply walked out quietly while I would have lost my shit at OP for doing this. I hope she tells her and his friends what he has done because they deserve to know what kind of person OP is.
also, we do not know how "smelly" or "dirty" the blanket actually was. That was OP's opinion, no one else's. He hated the blanket because it gave her comfort and he was jealous of the fact it gave her comfort and was using any excuse to justify his decision to get rid of it. He had already washed it behind her back so it could not have been that disgusting that quickly. He was a selfish, immature moron. All the people saying she was refusing to compromise, WTF, it was her property, she should not have to compromise. It was not affecting their relationship, she did not take it out of the house. It did not impact her ability to function, he admitted all that. It was, pure and simple, jealousy on his part. Jealousy over a frigging comfort blanket. He screwed up his whole life because he needed to have control. I can't believe the people who are blaming the victim here. It is disgusting. So many red flags with him. His controlling, narcissistic, gaslighting behavior is classic abusive behavior. She is well rid of him.
So my friend has mental health problems and for her it’s not a item like a blanket but a character sorin markov from magic the gathering she has a playmat of him that she hugs when it gets rough however she’s afraid about accidentally getting the playmat dirty or torn does her boyfriend demand that she gets rid of the playmat nope why because it’s something that brings her joy and she really cares for the playmat and the character he even got her a wall scroll of sorin I’m currently making her a ragdoll style plushy of sorin for her I legit spent like 2 hours attaching the yarn hair
My SO and I were listening to this together and we both got so frustrated! I have a thing for stuffed animals and instead of being embarrassed or annoyed my SO feeds my habit (probably not a good thing lol) and we have lots of stuffed animals that hold special memories for us both.
OP1 is a crappy boyfriend, and a crappy person. Imagine if he was dating someone with PTSD : "Jesus Christ, GF, stop having your panick attacks already! God, you're so annoying! Your panick attacks are making me uncomfortable!" Or someone with Depression : "Why are you so sad all the time! For God sakes, cheer up! You're bumming me out Your depression's making me uncomfortable!!" Or someone with Tourrettes : "Why are you always acting so weird! What's wrong with you! Geez, act normal! Your tics are making me uncomfortable!" You guys get it. In short, the best girlfriend for him, and best he can get at this point, is his right hand. Not to mention all the lying to her face about what he knows he did, gaslighting her etc. He's a straight up psychopath. And she may likely have some form of trauma from childhood which is why she had the comfort blanket, but HE's the one who needs therapy!
The guy jumped to burning the blanket after all of reddit told him its important to her and he is shocked to learn after burning it that its important to her! You know what infinitely better solution I came up with in 5 seconds that the op didn’t come up with after consulting reddit twice? Give her an ultimatum that states she either washes it after a given amount of time to no longer be a health hazard, or sleep in separate bedrooms No threat to end the relationship, and both possibilities of the ultimatum will result in op getting less exposure to the blanket's scent or moldy look.
If you don’t like the property of the person you are with to the point of planning to get rid of it, maybe it’s time to reevaluate your relationship and move on. Before updates edit: At least rather than hurting them for your own benefit, it’s a form of control and telling them you’d only accept them if they contort to how you picture them. ETA update 1: so against the advice of people on reddit he went to her and insulted not only the blanket but his girlfriend too? Why didn’t she break up with him? If someone said my comforting methods are immature and disgusting, I wouldn’t want them around Update 2: and he burned it instead of breaking up with her. He caused her immense pain for his own selfishness. He literally has no self awareness Those edits: he still called it disgusting despite knowing how upset it makes the girlfriend. She deserves so much better than the crusty disgusting smelling man she is with And update 3 and 4: he continues to double down despite knowing how much the blanket means to her. “It’s just a blanket, I got you a new and better one”. Not to her and you may feel “guilt” on a selfish reason but you’d never would understand her
Unrelated but I'm surprised that you can be surprised to incel cesspool channels like Yellow whatever his name is and also be susbcribed to the Click. Odd.
I've had my comfort blankie since I was a literal infant. If my partner, whom I love and trust, were to throw it away for ANY reason, ANY REASON AT ALL, we would be over instantly and I 100% know I would grieve over the blanket infinitely more than the ex. Edit: wow. OP is such a terrible person. I don't know how he can even manage to choke out the words "I love you" to that poor girl. Edit 2: "She'll be so relieved!" What. The. FUCK
I have two baby blankets that I’m so incredibly attached to, my aunt hand knitted them while my mom was pregnant with me 22 years ago. While they don’t stink, some may think my attachment to them is weird. If someone BURNED them or tossed them I would be devastated beyond belief. I can’t even imagine.
1st story. There's no helping this man. He's literally asking reddit to help him figure out how to lie to his gf about his crime after they told him not to do anything with the blanket. He even sounded excited about burning the blanket. He could've just hid it temporarily and then "found" it after seeing how the gf reacted. He still didn't understand the scope of his mistake even after the gf gave him that dead pan look. He's still on about the blanket even to very end. There's just no hope for OP in his relationships.
Bro, he did not get on the internet to consult reddit, he did it to brag. Everything about his posts and updates just humiliates her and tries to claim victimhood for himself, and he gets to relive her suffering in graphic detail.... I'd bet money it didn't stink, or was dirty they don't last decades if not cared for properly... He just didn't want her to have any comfort outside of him. This guy's a Dateline ticking time bomb
I’ve had a stuffed cat since the day I was born. I have never gone a night without cuddling her, and she has given me huge anxiety relief. She was there for me when I was in the foster care system, she was with me every day in childhood… She is still with me today and I make sure to keep her in good condition. When I sleep, I hold her and she is by my side. When I have panic attacks or major anxiety, I hold her and I start to feel much better. I couldn’t imagine being without kitkat (not named after the candy. It was just my baby way of saying kitty kat), especially in moments of panic, fear and major emotions… If anyone were to throw her away, I would probably lose it and cry and not wanna be with anyone and I’d do anything to find her and get her back because she has been there my whole life. I know she isn’t alive and is just a stuffed animal… but she was my support, for 21 years. But I don’t get how it’s weird… Most people have a ‘security blanket’ or ‘safety stuffed animal’
Same here! I have a stuffed cat that shares the name of my first cat, now sadly no longer with us, and the mere thought of someone throwing it away because it's "childish", or doing the same to ANYONE'S security item, makes my blood boil. As for some people see it as "weird", it's because we're taught pretty much from the moment we leave kindergarten that stuff like that is "childish" and we're "immature and not a real adult" for having one. The old favourite chestnut people like to spew is "once you're an adult, you should put away childish things" from the Bible. Personally, I prefer C.S. Lewis' version - "“When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up.”
Have a stuffed cat too. Had her since I was 1. She's needed to be stitched up before. I cuddle her when I need that Security feeling to sleep. She needs to be restuffed because of how I hold her but that isn't happening! Also missing a whisker. If anyone tried to get rid of her, I would not stay around.
I don't know why this guy decided destroying the comfort item was the solution. he must think its weird. personally, he is the asshole for that, but the fact that he specified it REEKED from being unwashed for so long, and the girlfriend got super mad he washed it....IdK. she should wash the blanket. or he should continue to wash it for her. if she continues to object, then they should've just broken up. He shouldn't ahve destroyed it, but not many people will put up with an unwashed piece of fabric that is constantly collecting body oils, skin cells, dust, etc for months and months on end.
Totally get it. I have a bear who’s exactly the same. He’s really old and ratty now wearing too-big build-a-bear pjs but he’s super comforting to keep with me. I know it may be a little immature to some for an adult to hug their teddy bear at night but hey, it’s comforting and not hurting anyone. Also as an autistic person, comfort items are EXTREMELY important. You don’t even have to be neurodivergent to have one! Anything that brings you comfort during times of distress is incredibly important and personal. The idea of getting rid of it because it’s immature or childish or gross is just so incredibly insensitive.
LOL no not really. I don’t know one single adult who has a security anything. A sentimental object you can’t bring yourself to throw out maybe but a security blanket or stuffed animal for an adult? Very weird!
Something like this is an obvious compatibility issue. I don't understand why someone would say oh let me be devious and get rid of my gf/bf's cherished item instead of just ending the relationship.
"Instead of just ending the relationship" This is the response I was looking for. I mean. Did it never occur to him that he should just break up rather than destroy her property?
The one thing I can say I get is the smell and texture of the blanket specifically being a problem. Smells are a lot harder to block out than visual discomfort and the reaction is far more involuntary (like gagging or heaving) at least for me. The description of that greasy unwashed texture and smell is far past my tolerance for bedding alone. I’ve put bedding through the wash for FAR less. If it wasn’t for the hygienic problem, everything else is him needing to sort his shit out. Don’t throw her comfort object out, don’t destroy it, don’t do anything with it behind her back. That’s a dick move. But there is a conversation to be had about compromising on the possible hygienic issues.
Had a roommate that never cleaned, the apartment stunk the moment he opened the door. I even offered to help him clean, but he did everything to stay that dirty. He lost jobs over it. I am of the mindset that if one refuses to keep to a certain minimum of hygiene, they don't need a wash, they need a therapist. May it be their whole area, or just 1 Item.
I get the smell issue too, and I think it would have been reasonable to work on washing the blanket every so often or spraying it with febreeze or something. But this guy is a freaking psychopath.
@@sarasmr4278 he went that far BECAUSE she refused to do anything about it. Remember in the beginning how he washed it and got into trouble for it? If it were a bodypart or her general level of cleanliness, we'd all tell him to run because she'll make him sick with her REFUSAL of hygiene, but because it's a comfort item it's okay? You want to cuddle with an Apple from my neighbours compost bin? It's nice and fuzzy.
I would agree but OP complains so much about her attachment to the blanket and not just the smell that it sounds like OP is jealous of the attention GF gives the blanket. I'd implore the GF to clean it, not get rid of it, and at least come to a compromise that she keeps it in a somewhat airtight container when not using it and reduce the frequency she uses it. OP is just mad they aren't getting their way.
I did have a comfort blanket growing up but I eventually let go of that blanket (taken away) The need to find comfort in a blanket never went away though. It morphed into a different thing where the texture of my bed comforter has to feel a certain way and even smell a certain way. It's really hard to explain how comforting it is. I think if that blanket as a child has not gotten taken away from me I would have tried to keep it forever. The way OP treated his GF is disgusting, he refused to understand how GF at all and does not deserve her
My uncle had surgery for cancer as a grown-up and his sister got him a bunny that he called his pain bunny that he would hold to the side where the surgery scar was at. Any time after that, if he got sick (because both of us have chronic lung issues), he would hold the bunny to his side. The bunny is all rubbed raw and frayed where his hand always was holding it. When I was a child and had my first serious bout with pneumonia, he got me my own pain bunny, because my side hurt so much from coughing. Now he’s gone and I have both pain bunnies.
Story 1: he is such an asshole, i have a comfort blanket ive had since I CAME OUT OF MY MOTHERS WOMB. i have sensory issues and if a guy ever did this to me, id be getting a restraining order and be going to court because you can not find This Blanket anymore. you can not find any of my blankets anymore they were a gift from the hospital as well, im glad she broke up with that pos. if he simply doesnt understand how a blanket has so much value to someone, how would he understand an engagement ring?
I have a blanket my grandmother made me as a child. It’s been repaired multiple times, and the threads in the fabric are stating to wear. My husband didn’t even question my need to keep it with me in every trip and move we have made. He has even gone out of his way to make sure it was kept safe when family visited. I probably would have left if he ever intentionally destroyed it.
OP still doesn’t get it because he keeps saying it’s about a blanket when she clearly said it was about the breach of trust as well as destroying something precious to her which is a red flag even if he didn’t see its value he understood that it was emotionally important to her. For the first few sentences of the post I could sort of see his point that it did sound unhygienic and if there’s a noticeable smell I can see why I wouldn’t want that in the bed with me either but he should’ve communicated and tried to compromise with her it wasn’t okay to just take it away he went way too far.
It’s the cognitive dissonance. If he acts like the situation is “just” about the blanket, he doesn’t have to take responsibility for causing her emotional harm. A lot of manipulative people do that so they don’t have to take responsibility for how they hurt others, because they can claim that the stuff they destroy or the things they say are “just” stuff or things. In his world, all he did was destroy an old blanket, and SHE’S the one “choosing” to take it personally, which, to him, makes the break up her fault.
Lying about the blanket is beyond awful. There is no way I could stand a smelly blanket like that. I would never get rid of such a thing but if they couldn’t compromise and wash it or keep it away from me it wouldn’t work out for either one of us. At the very least have her get help for it. She said it comforted her and she needed it next to her however where was her concern regarding the fact that he was having such a bad time with the smell of it that it made him ill. I would’ve said either we are getting counseling and finding a solution that benefits both of us or this is not gonna work out bye.
Omg the blanket story had me on edge. As someone who has a security item, a shirt of dad's, he passed away when I was young, if my so threw it away, worse burned it I would never ever forgive him. My trust would be dead.
I don’t think he’s a jerk for hating the blanket; he wouldn’t even be a jerk for leaving, but he’s a monster for destroying it.
Not just destroying it, but lying about doing so and assisting her in looking for it
Agreed. If he had just hid it or something not destroyed it he would have just been mean but not cruel. He could have maybe salvaged things. But nope.
I agree, he could’ve just honestly told her “I’m sorry but I can’t handle the smell and feeling of the blanket. I don’t think I can stay if you don’t at least wash it” they could’ve compromised she washes it or he could’ve just left
Yeah, exactly. He should've left.
I think she needed therapy anyway because not washing your comfort item and letting it basically smell and rot isn't a mentally stable thing. I've washed my teddy bear and was annoyed by it, but I knew it needed it. Done the same to my blanket when I didn't want it to. But hygiene is important.
I mean, she could have compromised about washing it. I sleep with a plushie I have since I’m a baby, I still wash it often… he’s still awful for destroying it. That girl will go through a lot of pain
GF: this blanket is extremely important to me
Reddit: that blanket is extremely important to her
OP: I HAD NO IDEA IT WAS IMPORTANT TO HER.
Stupid and selfish. He only has himself to blame. The sad thing is, he hasn't learnt a damned thing! "I don't understand why it's so important to her." You don't have to understand, just accept that it was! After all, it was a blanket! It wasn't drugs, or alcohol, or sex with strangers, or kleptomania, or any of the myriad of worse things it could have been. It was a blanket! A gift from her mother that gave her comfort. And to think that a replacement (one he approves of) would make up for the life time of memories she's formed with this blanket! It went through her childhood with her, transitioned into adolescence, first starting to menstruate, first boyfriend, first job, leaving the safety of her home!
What an entitled, brain dead idiot! I'm glad the girlfriend left his pathetic ass!
Surprised pikachu face. Smh
That's the part that had me yelling: she gave a damned biography of her life with the blanket, and you STILL have "no idea" it was so important to her? He was so deep in his own loathing and thinking he didn't bother really listening. Sheesh.
Wow, burning the blanket and pretending the blanket is just missing and even helping her look for it. This is a fine example of gaslighting.
It's beyond gaslighting. It's monstrous. It's psychopathic
And low grade psychopathy 🙃
And how to quickly end a relationship when they find out because eventually when they have searched everywhere they will know it was you - have fun being single forever
I actually had this happen to me so that’s why I’m kind of annoyed I had this stuffed animal that was hard to wash because it would fall apart the person I was with never really said much about it until the end when they took it and burned it I looked everywhere in my house until I went to them and told them how sad I was but they just acted like it was the best thing and that’s when I knew they did something to my stuffed animal and after I pushed them to talk they finally admitted to burning it so yeah I got to file a police report on them because I’m not letting someone who I dated get away from that horrible act
I don't think this fits the definition of gaslighting. (So not even an example of gaslighting.) It's just a fine example of...lying. Here's example of both.
Her: Do you know where my blanket is? I can't find it.
Him: No. I'll help you look. (This is lying.)
Him: No. Maybe you misplaced it? (A bit gaslighty a bit lying. Since he makes her question if she did indeed misplace it, when she knows she didn't.)
Him: Blanket? You never had a blanket. What are you talking about? (Full on gaslighting. Makes her question her own sanity.)
@@Paulo-ki2it Thank you! Everyone's always accusing me of gaslighting when I'm simply *lying*.
“She’s thrown 2 years of a relationship away over a stupid blanket.”
Right sentence, wrong person.
The blanket was stupid for everyone but her
Not over a blanket but over a lying, self centered, jerk who pretended to be a great guy by getting a new one.
@@dale9042 Huh? No. Everyone including Mark agreed it wasn’t stupid because it comforts the gf. It’s not stupid to have something that helps you with your mental health
I am so confused why he didn’t just leave when he couldn’t deal with the blanket and she didn’t want to remove it, it just confuses me so hard.
@@Kalossupremacy3356 Because he's a controlling ahole.
What worries me the most about first OP wasn’t the fact that he burnt the blanket, which is still terrible. It’s the satisfaction he felt watching it burn. He knew he was doing something that would really hurt his GF. He was destroying something with real sentimental value to her. But he didn’t feel guilty or ashamed, he felt satisfied. This guy is a full blown psychopath.
So true. I know I am late, but he was clearly making excuses. He knew how much it meant to her, and he knew it would hurt her getting rid of it. The "I didn't know and I didn't understand" bit was to try and use ignorance as an excuse.
“No longer will it come between me and my girl!” He sounds jealous of a blanket. And the fucked up part is he likely was, the blanket provided her comfort and she loved and “was obsessed” with it, he probably felt like he was entitled to that attention.
It must be the same level of satisfaction we had reading that his GF dumped him.
He didn't "approve" that something that bothered him was so important for his GF. And thought he could force his POV. What did he think? That his GF hold the blanket all her life because she couldn't afford a fancy new one? What an AH
Imagine having besides you someone that acts like this every time you have a disagreement
And helped her look for it!
or he was satisfied burning smth that made him throw up. i dont think you realize how disgust sensitive some ppl are
OP’s act of burning the blanket is on the same level of cruel and heartless as the same dude that destroyed his (ex)wife’s past wedding ring from a few days ago.
That dude was a total AH, too. Made her get rid of all her pictures with her deceased husband in them.
Bahahahaha
Similar vein but not quite as bad.
O.o link please? I need to read that one!
You ever noticed how it’s the men that get rid of their girlfriends things most of the time? The guy that threw out his girls fun socks she collected, the one that hid his girls hair towel, the guy who destroyed the ring, the guy that threw out her girls umbilical cord in a hand made bag, this guy. Another guy burned his girls dead sisters candles she made.
Why are guys threatened by items so much?
She didn't throw away a two-year relationship over a blanket, HE did.
Yep
He set it on fire he has WAY more issues than he believes his now ex had
This person is unstable and controlling
He took it as an affront that she was comfortable enough around him to not hid this part of herself
He didn't want a girlfriend he wanted a uncomplicated sex doll he could show off to the world
I’m truly sorry also I am a little late apologies in advance For the ignorance on stuff like this bro I find it a little weird that a grown ass adult doesn’t wash a blanket that she uses constantly like that that’s really gross for example I am going to make a custom blanket when I have kids and when they get a little too old for it I’m going to frame it but other than that I find your story super weird
Exactly and I doubt he will ever see it. If anything he needs counselling as that delight in setting fire to the blanket could go very very badly if anything else his partner would do or have gets in the way of his ideals and standards.
@@Roastpaperover9000- it might be weird too you, . i see how it would be uncomftarble with the smell and all. That being said it still doesnt give him the right to be a controling asshole. This was about trust. She trusted him he just betrayed her. Then lied about it seeing she was anxious and upset. This relationship didnt end because off the blanket. It ended because he has a lack of empthy is controling and a liar. He has some growing up to do.
It wasn’t just over the blanket. It was the fact he didn’t listen to her or anyone else or try to understand how she felt. There was such a lack of empathy and respect.
"It felt amazing" "no longer can it come between me and my girl" This combined with the gaslighting is disturbing. I hope HE gets therapy before dating anyone else less he burn his next girlfriend's things because it "got between" them and lies about when she gets upset.
Its got to be a troll, right? Right? God I hope so--
It sounded like he was jealous of a blanket. He is the weirdo.
The fact that he could never understand why she would be attached to it makes me feel like he may have anti-social personality disorder or some form of mental health disorders. With the lack of empathy and his very cruel actions(that he was gleeful about), he gives me creepy vibes.
Therapy will not change anything. He is an abuser. Abusers do not change.
He’s clearly the kind to have a GF’s cat (which annoys him) put to sleep, and claim poor Mittens just ran away. ‘It’s JUST a stupid old cat! I didn’t think it was a big deal.’
Story 1: OP, her leaving wasn't just the blanket (though that was probably 98% of the reason why). It was the fact you lied to her, disrespected her wishes, tried to cover it up and hurt her so deeply with your actions. She told you why it was so important. She did try to respect YOUR wishes to not have it near you as often (putting it under cushions, moving it away from you etc.) and yet, you still thought "she's being selfish". You betrayed her. That is why she left
I know right if ask me that OP is a complete hypocrite
I always find it saddening that these people who post on Reddit stating the SO is selfish for this reason or that reason, do not see their actions as also being selfish. Do they truly not see it??? It's like the gangs going on about "coming into my territory and showing me no respect!" when they're the ones who have just r*ped/killed someone, got someone hooked on drugs, mugged a person for the five dollars they had in their purse, broken into someone's home, looted, and vandalised. The hypocrisy is astounding.
"It's just a blanket" he keeps saying after seeing the damage it did to her. Legends say he's still saying it to this day.
When he said he bought a new blanket, I just thought to myself, “He’s not this stupid. He’s not this delusional.”
I could have cried, when he hid the new blanket behind his back, and she thought he'd found the original blanket!
"no longer can it stand between me and my girl"
imagine being jealous of a blanket that causes immense comfort and security for someone you supposedly love
Yeah. The insecurity and all be it fragile everything that he has is showing from 20 miles away
Yep this dude sounds dangerous and I hope she never goes back.
Is because it stinks
This is what makes me believe that this story is pure ragebait. Nobody can be this clueless, nobody can be this evil, nobody can be this stubborn ! Right ??
@@paxtheskeleton6636 actually they can be. My father was the same way to me. *backstory* 23 yrs ago, my uncle gave me a comforter set for my birthday. (2 pillowcases, a sheet, & a comforter. All reversible. 1 side was sky blue, the other side navy blue.) 2 wks later he passed away from a heart attack. That set was the last thing I got from him, & was the last time I saw/spoke to him. As the yrs went on, I met a guy, we dated, & got a place together. Months later we had a fight, & I went to my mother's house for the night. I took my pillow with me, that had 1 of the pillowcases from the set on it. Next day he breaks up with me, & refuses to give me the rest of my comforter set. And because it was a gift for my birthday, by my uncle who passed away. There was no way to prove the set was mine, if I were to get the law involved. So I let him keep it, while I kept the pillowcase. More yrs pass, my dad buys a house for me to raise my 1st child in. While he lives upstairs, I live downstairs with my daughter. My dad finds out I'm attached to it. He waited till I left the house, & he throws it in the trash. At the bottom of the barrel. Thinking I won't see/find it. Or take it out if I had found it. Whelp. I did find it. It was 3 hrs before bed & I had just put my daughter to bed. I go start setting things up for my bedtime. You know (shower, pulls things out for the next day ect.) I go over to my bed, & notice the comforter is over my pillow. When I tuck it under my pillow. Upon further inspection, I noticed my room was tampered with, & saw my pillowcase was gone. I knew what happened. As my dad had said to me 2 wks prior, "don't you think you're a little too old to be sleeping with that? You're 20 yrs old. Time to grow up." I immediately went straight to the garbage can & found it at the bottom of the barrel. Underneath the mashed potatoes, & gravy from our turkey dinner from the other night. My heart sank. I pulled it out, to see it completely soaked, & fermented in mashed potatoes, gravy, & everything else that was in that trash barrel. I did not sleep at all that night. Instead I spent the following 11 hrs, just washing & rewashing my pillowcase. I had washed, & dried it a total of 13 times, before I even felt it was safe even to be put back in my room. From that day forward, every morning, I placed the pillowcase in a lockbox. So I wouldn't have to go through that again. I still have it, at 34 yrs old. But it's mainly only for sleeping comfort. Nothing more 🤷♀️. When I get up for the day, I put it away. And wash it, the moment it starts to develop a smell. Some people truly just don't understand
Oh my dog.. this OP actually got the advice from multiple people’s perspectives and he STILL decided to get rid of it. If someone destroyed my comfort item I would NEVER forgive them. And why does she need to “wean it off” who is she hurting by having that as a coping mechanism?! Please tell me that she dumps OP..
Edit: good on the ex girlfriend for dumping OP but holy cow “I realized how I messed up” no you didn’t you continued to double down and try to gaslight her and lied to her.
‼️Well to be fair reddit was acting purposefully stupid and kept implying it was because he was embarrassed only and ignored the fact the major problem is because it stinks and is greasy. That would literally make me throw up. Yeah he definitely shouldn't have thrown it away like a psychopath tho! WTF! He should have just dumped her and moved on. She's clearly not very clean and has a different hygiene standard than he does so idk why he would want to be with someone who enjoys stinky greasy bacteria ridden blankets in the bed. Also when they first started dating she just kept it on the bed and he didn't have a problem with that as much which proves she is able to be without it she's just choosing not to. Honestly she seems pretty inconsiderate and gross but he is a psycho for throwing it away instead of just dumping her. Like that's wayyy worse than her being uncaring and inconsiderate and unhygienic. He's just straight up a psycho. It's actually kind of ironic that he cared just as little for her feelings as she cared about his.
My ex FIL got rid of the only thing my birthmom ever gave me. My ex shuts down and we can never talk about it.
@@ACAB.forcutie I am so sorry that happened to you 😔
I wish you hadn’t put “oh my dog” because for a second I thought the asshole did something to a dog, too.
@@kellyalves756 I'm an atheist and frequently say "oh my dog". At least my dog exists ;)
This is 100% the type of guy that thinks “sorry” makes up for EVERYTHING and if you don’t forgive them you’re wrong. Sorry I threw out your favorite pillows. Sorry I wrecked your car. Sorry I hit you. But I said I’m sorry so that’s good enough.
This entire story he’s like “I’ll be conniving and manipulative and gaslighting, but I’m SURE a gift and a sorry will erase everything.”
And I just can’t fathom the Gaul people have that they throw out other peoples things. My mother did that all the time and now if anyone ever tries I’ll be on a rampage. I like my things dammit. That’s why they’re mine.
Sadly, it's people like OP in this story that fail to see the sentimentality of some things. Sometimes there are objects and possessions we have that hold a great deal of memories for us. People like OP, who are inept to realize the value people place in such objects and are quick to discredit the said-value, often burn bridges between people like their friends, relatives and even significant others; all because they are too selfish to accept what matters to the other person and think more about what matters to them instead. In this case, OP was too disgusted by a precious, childhood possession of his GF to even see how much it matters to her. He literally burned years worth of childhood memories for her, all because he was too blind to see past the blanket itself. He claims that his ex GF threw away 2 years over a blanket? Oh no. HE was the one who threw away 2 years over several memories that his ex wanted to keep close to her. A disgusting human being-- no, human is far too kind; A disgusting POS in my opinion. I hope OP genuinely suffers from his actions and realizes the extent of how badly he "messed up"
Yep. But the second you wrong him, in the slightest way, "sorry" isn't enough.
There is a HUGE difference in real monetary value between a car and a nasty hole ridden smelly oily blanket. If they went to court the judge would say "This crap is what I went to law school for" and give her $10 and close the case.
@@9999plato Even if it’s worth less than nothing in monetary value, if she can prove a monetary value on pain and suffering (lost wages, therapy, etc.) because he stole and destroyed her property, then she would win something.
Even if not, and I believe pain and suffering is hard to prove, I’ve seen a judge or two who would be _happy_ to read him the riot act and tell him what they see happen to people who don’t respect other people’s belongings.
She won’t sue him because the time and effort isn’t worth it, anyway. Leaving was the much easier and smarter choice.
Sorry doesn't fix everything. People would be dead to me if someone did something like that.
Gotta love how she spelled out exactly why she was leaving him and he still thought that it was just because of a “stupid blanket.”
That's the issue with taking a comfort item away from people. They realise they don't need you, either. Never mess with someone who says " It is what it is" because they WILL walk away without a second glance.
I would if my SO did this to me
Damn, I say that saying quite a bit, I suppose I do easily walk away, let things/ppl go. Except for like my mom, husband and kids. Never really thought about it.
“It will no longer taunt me.” “It’s just a piece of cloth.” “She’ll forget and move on.”
It was never about what it looked like, what it smelled like, or anything like that. It was because of its very presence in her life. It was a priority to her. She paid attention to it. She told him OVER and OVER again what it meant to her.
And he didn’t care. He didn’t like competing with a blanket. He didn’t like getting in trouble. He didn’t understand and actively refused to. He destroyed her most precious possession in the world beyond repair, lied, cried, and whined about ONLY himself. OP is a downright monster and he deserves to burn for it. I hope that blanket fucking haunts him.
exactly this. he would have got it cleaned behind her back if it was about the smell.
@@damien678 He _did_ get it cleaned behind her back though.
LOVE that last comment! I bloody hope it does too!👻
The smell of an unwashed blanket could easily be bad. Imagine someone not showering for a year in any form. Destroying her property, though? That part is bad. I use a teddy bear big as my upper body to sleep if I'm alone, but not if I share a bed with someone. The bear is clean, though, and I can see why a blanket smelling like mold could be damaging to anyone. I wish he got her to clean it or something instead of burning it. If she sleeps better with it, then do be it. Dude's an ass for burning it.
I totally get the smell things, but what he should of done is break up.
Yeah he wouldn't be an asshole if he broke up with her over it, because if something bothers you that much, you don't have to put up with it. But to destroy it guarantees a breakup, and for nothing. I also don't think a full grown adult would be that attached to a blanket if they didn't have some significant trauma. Destroying someone's comfort object is real fucked up
Question: how do you clean your bear/keep it clean? I'm getting one for my niece
She seemed really uncompromising with most of the valid issues OP had with her blanket. I feel like this relationship was doomed whether the blanket was burned or not. At least it won't be any of her future partner's problem!
@@solmas2111 Exactly. If it’s all that bad and there was no middle ground to be found, i.e., getting it cleaned, then OP either needed to help her find some other way to cope with her anxiety (as suggested by one commenter) or move on. His solution sucks and will go on sucking for quite some time. Hell, he probably increased her need for a security item of some kind. Not smart.
Reminds me of that story where the OP there threw away the GF's shirt that a decreased friend gave her. Glad that the GF broke up with him, should've listened to the advice. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes
Also, I like how he says that SHE'S overreacting for dumping him over a blanket, like dude, didn't you come to reddit for advice over that same blanket? What a Hypocrite.
Yeah he's only upset he didn't get the ending he wanted.
It also kind reminds of the story of the guy that burned through almost all of his girlfriend’s dead sister’s candle
The more OP talks about the blanket the more convinced I become that he's over exaggerating. I'm guessing that her attachment to the blanket makes him feel insecure in the relationship and he is in desperate need of therapy in more ways than just that.
Edit: at this point I'm convinced that OP is a literal sociopath. The way commenters and his girlfriend have in detail explain to him the importance of the blanket and his response every single time is "well I just don't get it"
I remember reading a story a long time ago about a girl who was in love with a officially diagnosed sociopath and before he started going to therapy to get help adapting to the world with an abnormal brain he exhibited a lot of the same behaviors.
The thing that gets me is that OP could've left. If he didn't want to have a girlfriend with a security blanket, he didn't have to. He could've taken his sorry ass somewhere else and boom, wonderful, no more smell. Sometimes differences are irreconcilable. If her keeping the blanket out of your sight isn't enough then maybe you're just not compatible.
Even in the first part, he didn't talk to her about washing it. He *washed it without her consent*. He was treating his girlfriend like a misbehaving dog instead of a full on human being.
I feel so sorry for that girl. I hope she finds some other comfort item at some point, and I hope that AH stubs his toes against every piece of furniture in existence for the the rest of eternity.
And on the last day of it being healed, he stubs it again
OP was an ass, definitely.
I dont know if having a security item itself was an issue or if it was the cleanliness of the item was the issue.
A comfort item is fine, but I would want it to be clean.
At that point a conversation does need to be had, and if a solution cant be reached, a break up.
I cant imagine ever burning someone else’s items without a very very good reason, like they cheated or something. XD I’d have to hate them to do that.
I have PTSD. Comfort items are a huge way of coping for me. I legit started crying when she found out he had burned it. I feel her loss so deeply.
This dude's a straight up psychopath.... Who torments someone the claim to "love" this way
This
He gaslight her too
Yes, I think he's sicker than his girlfriend. He needs a psychiatrist.
He does remind me of my ex hubby who often gave my things away because "you don't need that".
Going by the title it would just be easier to break up with her, same out come less fighting and less of a dbag thing to do.
Wow I was expecting it to be bad b the title but it got way worse.
I would have a hard time living with something like that if it smelled bad and they wouldn't wash it, and her refusing to understand that is a problem. But he doesn't have the right to destroy it, just break up already!
@@katphish30
Yeah, agreed.
Yea, that sucks that he destroyed the blanket. It might be gone, but at least it saved her from going any further in a relationship with a narcissist.
Story 1: I can understand the "it stinks" part, but imagine thinking it's a bad habit to carry around something that brings you _comfort._ Dude, I'd bring stuffed animals to school with me back when I was in high school (granted they were small enough to sit in my bag when necessary but still) and nobody bat an eye to it. In fact other people started bringing theirs after seeing me do it and not get in trouble for doing so, people just like having things that keep them calm and for her that's a blanket.
Edit: Oh my GOD Op! "It'll no longer stand between me and my girl" YOU stood between you and "your girl" and then you fucking GASLIT her after because you KNEW what you did was wrong and didn't want to admit how much of a vile piece of shit you are.
Edit 2: "I didn't realize how much it meant to her" she told you point blank how much it meant to her, you just tuned it out cause it wasn't what you wanted to hear.
Edit 3: So telling her the truth is "a bad idea" and "won't help the relationship" but burning her blanket and looking her in the eyes as you lie about having anything to do with its disappearance _isn't?_
Yes, people logic right
Makes total sense!!!
(Yes sarcasm. It hurts to hear OPs thought process in this saga and just not get it)
I qould murder him. I legit would not care. Tht is mental abuse of one of the highest prders considering the context.
Tht fucker is a heartless pos sprry excuse of a human being and oxygen waster.
I would murder. or damn near murder rht pos. My stuffy orange and ny kiddie habits bring comfort and make me happy. Id leave u long before it got to this point with him.
Throw tht bitch out. My stuffird have more heart and soul then the pos of story 1
Story 1: YTA 1 billion percent
If you find yourself at a point where you are burning your SO's things and lying to them, just break up. How can you say you love someone but treat them like that?
People defineltly talked shit about your stuffed animals. Just saying.
@@dillongage oh I know some did, but guess what? It didn't stop me because I didn't care, especially when, like I said, others started bringing theirs as well. Some of the _same_ people who were talking shit and acted like they were "too cool/tough" to do something like that, I saw walking around with teddy bears in hand or hanging out in their bag. What exactly was your point here?
My wife also has a ratty old comfort blanket, though it mostly just stays packed away in the closet nowadays.
I do want to share a more light-hearted story she likes to tell about it though. Apparently when she was going to preschool (or maybe kindergarten?) she wanted to bring her blanket along with her, and one of the ways her mom tried to get her to leave it at home was by asking her "You're not going to take it with you to college, are you?"
To which she very defiantly replied, "Yes I WILL."
So anyway, she did in fact take that blankie to college with her, though partly to vindicate her child self.
Absolutely nothing wrong with having a comfort blanket but if the smell is as bad as OP says it is then that's a problem. I draw the line at hygiene. Haven't finished the story yet so idk what happened but yea hygiene is a big deal and if they weren't willing to compromise and atleast wash it that'd be an issue for me.
Edit: Woahhh. OP is a real pos. The gaslighting and destroying her property was the worst thing he could've done. Yes she had an unhealthy attachment to the blanket to the point where she wouldn't even wash it but that's not how u deal with this kind of thing. Absolutely despicable.
Then he should have left the relationship. He said it himself: "I hate her." Granted, it was in the context of "I hate her having it" but it was still a Freudian slip.
It’s kind of like an addict. You can’t force someone to get better, they have to get to that mental place themself. He should’ve brought it up one last time and left her if she wasn’t willing to bend. This guy is a major POS.
If it’s such an issue though he should have just left instead of psychologically fucking her over. What he did is called gaslighting. She deserves far better than OP.
You're gonna trust that someone who would do this instead of being an adult about it, is being honest about how dirty and smelly it is? Regardless, if it was that big of a deal - having put up with it for 2 years - then he should have been more adult himself and left.
All of you who said " He ShOuLd LeFt her" would you left her after 2 years?
Mark: *says he wears a hoodie when he’s anxious*
Mark’s icon: *wearing a hoodie*
Me: concern.jpg
I’m sure his smells good, though lol
I had 3 comfort blankets growing up.... And, my parents threw out each one in hopes I'd be ok without it. Why? Because, I sucked my thumb while the blanket was smushed to my face. They were embarrassed of me. They even tried putting horrible tasting gel on my thumb to stop me. Almost forgot about it. They were abusive and neglectful. I never had any kind of comfort, so the last time they got rid of my blanket/shamed me I turned to food instead. I got fat, and they were more ashamed. Let kids take comfort in what they can.
They definitely were right to stop you from sucking your thumb. But by god, just let you have a blanket. Much easier.
My youngest daughter sucked her thumb and used a "silky" to rub under her nose. When my husband and I divorced because abuse, he remarried a very young girl. She was upset because the "silky" was a pair of bikini underwear. Either mine or my youngest sister. They bother a piece of satin material, nope. Not a silky. I never seen two more Immature people throwing a fit because a 18 month old child wanted a pair of panties,lol
I'm so very sorry they threw away your fav blankets. They just don't get it ❤
I remember some man on a chat show talking about how every now and again he throws away whatever his kids favorite toy is so they don't get overly attached to things, I felt almost sick hearing about it. there is a special place in hell for people who think they can just get rid of something that someone loves because "its just a thing."
That is horrifying. :’(
@@ElfInTheFlowers it really is, he presented it as some sort of "parenting tip" as well, absolute psychopath behavior.
My understanding of this concept is that it’s a misguided attempt to teach a child how to deal with grief and loss. You know, by killing the thing they love the most. That’s not traumatic at all.
@@0SC2 My mom did this. Every time she got upset at me for anything, she'd turn her rage on my books and shred them and make me watch.
Loooove having commitment/attachment/trust isues.
@@akkiko, I am seriously sorry for what happened to you. So unfair and hurtful. Was someone mean to them while they were growing up? I just don't understand why someone who's supposed to love and protect you does things like that ❤.
OP: I find my girlfriend's highly sentimental comfort blanket to be really nasty.
Me: Fair.
OP: It's also embarrassing.
Me: Less fair, but you're entitled to your opinion.
OP: So I burned it.
Me: DUDE NO WHAT ABOUT YOUR GF'S FEELINGS?! It all went in one ear and out the other, clearly.
I don't think they even went in the ear in the first place
Honestly, I was with OP at first, if I had a partner that had a special blanket or stuffed toy, it wouldn't bother me not one bit, but it *would* really bother me if the thing smelled bad, that would be a real issue, but god damn, how stupid and cruel can OP be?? Destroyed her property and lied to her several times.... this person doesn't know what "love" is
Initially yeah I could understand the OP. But what I can't fathom is if this is an issue, he communicated his issue respectfully and he gets a no in response (we it words or actions), why did he choose to remain in the relationship?
It was clear the blanket was going to stay. He had asked if she could remove it and she said no.
Compatibility is important in relationships. He doesn't have to like the blanket but choosing a relationship with her meant accepting it. Her actions demisters this was non-negotiable. If couldn't or didn't want to accept this there are options to date people who don't hang onto questionably unhygienic objects.
If a person I was dating had or did something that really bothered me then that's a good indication we aren't compatible and its time to end things.
Saaame. Everything OP did in the updates is horrendous and he's a huge asshole for calling her immature and destroying it and lying. But so much of the original post focused on it being dirty and smelling horrible and I couldn't believe how all the comments on that first post were overlooking that. Like yeah, I understand that she should be able to carry her blanket around without shame, but the refusal to wash it seriously grossed me out, and she can't claim it doesn't affect anyone else when OP had to sleep in bed with it.
Obviously nothing justifies all his massively terrible behavior in how he went about it, but she could have at least compromised and washed it. Like, if this blanket had been skunk sprayed would people still be saying "just deal with it, the smell brings her comfort"? If someone had a bad hygiene issue with terrible body odor, would people be saying "that's just who they are"?
Honestly, I question if it actually smelled bad. I have part of my old comfort blanket still (36 now and I've had the blanket since I was 3) and I rarely wash it (I'm really worried it will disintegrate at this point since its pretty tattered) and the only way I smell it is when I have it up to my nose and I usually have a really good sense of smell. Given the fact that he lied to his GF about burning it, I'd bet dollars to donuts he lied to Reddit so he'd have some sort of legit sounding excuse to get rid of what he considered "immature".
I love when the person that goes out of their way to get rid of something their SO really cares about is completely baffled when the other person get mad. I always find it insane. Like, even if you think you are right, you should expect some backlash
A part of me thinks he did it because it had sentimental value to her. I mean think about it. He wrote about burning it like he was getting revenge on her ex or something. "The blanket will never come between us again", and stuff like that. And despite trying to justify it by saying the blanket was embarrassing or that it smelled he still got her a new one when he felt guilty. He didn't mind her having a blanket he just had to make sure it was one he gave her. To me it kinda feels like one of those guys who gets unreasonably upset if they think their gf has something from their last relationship like presents or jewelry.
I might be off base but that's just the vibe I got after thinking about it some.
@@untitled-gv3qp yea OP's wording sound like he's straight up afraid of a fucking sentimental object.
As someone who can relate to the girlfriend. OP doesn't understand that 90% of us who have comfort items, have gone through trauma, or have had them since infancy, or were given items as gifts from someone who no longer is alive. I've been with my fiance 7 yrs now. I have a pillowcase from a comforter set my uncle gave me 2 wks before he passed away. And that same pillowcase is all I have left from the set, & was the last thing I have as a connection to my uncle. Now, 23 yrs later, I still have that same pillowcase my uncle gave me when I was just 11 yrs old. If my fiance ever did that to me, IDC how long you've been with me, or what we have been through. The relationship ends the second you betray someone like that. While yes talking to your significant other, & getting hugs, & cuddles from them helps. Nothing comforts quite like a comfort item. And you can't just give said item up, get rid of it, or move on from it. It just doesn't work like that. My fiance would never betray me like that. In fact, whenever I go through a traumatic situation, & he notices I'm having a hard time dealing. When we are alone, he will actually go out of his way to track it down for me. And whenever I can't find it at bedtime, he'll get up & help me to find it as well. Altho mine is only a sleep thing. Rarely do I ever look for it, in times of distress 🤷♀️. I only look for it when I'm tired & want to sleep. Other than that, it's not on my mind, & hangs out behind my pillow. Altho I can agree with OP on 1 thing. It should be washed. Even I have a comfort thing, & I always make sure to wash it twice a month. Sometimes once a wk if I notice it is starting to get a smell to it. But all in all. Such a very dumb thing to do. He was in denial the whole time. He knew it would upset her. He knew what it meant to her. He was just looking for validation for what he thought, & had done. And because no 1 agreed with him, & after seeing his gf up, & leave him over it. Then, & only then did he admit his wrongdoing. Such a shame.
I listened to this during my lunch and was absolutely DEVASTATED when he burned the blanket. How on earth did he get this far in life without so much as a smidge of empathy? He had a shopping list of transgressions ranging from selfishness and manipulation to emotional abuse and destruction of property. There was a reason that he didn’t like the blanket, and that is NOT bc it was “stinky and old”. It was because it gave her a comfort and peace he clearly could not provide. “How could she need a BLANKET when she has me?” Well, it’s because you literally suck, and I pray he has -5 bitches for the rest of his life. I hope he finds his true love and she cheats on him. I hope every woman he’s interested in turns him down before he even has the chance to ask them out
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 damn!!! Negative 5 bitches!
I hope he one day understands the gravity of what he’s done and if he ever attempts to truly apologize I hope that he’s only met with the realization that the girlfriend never needed him and is succeeding in life without him
Well, this was like a trainwreck in slow-motion. But I have to say that OP calling the gf "selfish" and "immature" when this unempathetic, smooth-brained idiot stole from her, destroyed her property and lied to her for entirely selfish and outright childish concerns is a nice touch for irony's sake.
I came here to read this comment before even reading the story. *grabs popcorn* Back to the story!
They were both being selfish and self serving, he should never have done what he did but she should not have been forcing him to deal with it in shared spaces after telling her his issues, and the shared bed is not a compromise unless it's stuffed in her pillowcase and never goes near his side of the bed. Neither is in a good place to be in a relationship. Perhaps both will be better equipped next time.
A disgusting unwashed blanked? No thanks. Yeah, burning it was bad but seriously, even on the bed??? No.
@@AngelaMerici12 no buts about it, burning it is psychopathic.
Yup. Every god damn time. He was warned, time and time again and he went, “lol I know better.” It got worse and he came running back crying only to end with, “lol I know better” and made it worse
If I were him, I'd have dumped her early on. For me, it's not the security blanket part, it's the fact that she never washed it for years. That's fucking disgusting. It's unfair to both of them tbh.
That was the only honourable option.When OP burnt the blanket and lied about it he became the asshole.
@@godking Exactly.
That's just it, you would've broken it off, not burned the blanket.
Yep and if thats how the story went, OP wouldn't be an asshole lol.
I knew it was gonna be bad when he said, "She no longer cares about keeping her bad habits discreet from me" This is the kinda guy that wants his wife to wake up at 5am to put on light makeup and go back to sleep so that he never sees not looking her best.
Nah, this is like the woman who is revolted that her bedparner of two years no longer hold in his farts but instead farts on her, sticks his head under the cover and sniffs his own fart. And then picks his nose and eats the booger. Hey! It's comforting! And it's cute, right, that he feels so comfortable around his girlfriend that he no longer feels the need to hide his disgusting habits from her. What is she complaining about?!!
The dude that burned his girlfriend then flat out lied to her face is totally the AH. What a brutally selfish and cruel thing to do to someone he claimed to love. This decision he made to burn the blanket burned the relationship to the ground. What a jerk.
Calling him a jerk is being far too kind. He is a monster who repeatedly gaslit and lies to her.
Man in all my years of living I never wanted to destroy someone else's property, especially not something they had SINCE BIRTH and carry around with them every chance they get. I can't understand how he can love her and then turn around and completely destroy something that's clearly so precious to her. The part where he lies to her face, helps her look for it, and even enjoys burning the blanket so much is just so creepy. Hope the girlfriend never had to see OP again
Why in the hell did he go to Reddit in the first place?! SHE’S selfish?! I feel so sad for the girlfriend. That was her property and something she clearly had a strong attachment to and he just decided that what he felt and what he thought mattered more than her, the law, and the advice of all the internet strangers he solicited for advice. I just… 😳😡 ETA: He thought she’d assume she “lost” the thing that’s clearly of vital importance to her that she never took out of the house and that he hates?! 🤦🏻♀️ ETA2: When he bought the new blanket I started thinking this was a troll. But then the trickle-truthing begun and I was to believing he’s just that selfish and stupid and has the emotional range of a teaspoon.
I agree with you. He’s not listening and all he’s thinking is how he feels. Even after she explained he still doesn’t get it. He just needs to exit her life and leave her alone.
A woman who carries around a security blanket at 27 has no business being in an adult relationship. She needs serious psychiatric help.
Because selfish people don’t care about advice that doesn’t suit them
@@wplains Maybe. Excuses nor justifies anything he did. His only valid choice was to break with her. Instead he made decisions for her. Unacceptable.
@@kbf9644 I do agree he shouldn’t have burned it but she needs very serious mental help.
Never washing a blanket is so nasty! I can't imagine how horrible that thing smelled! That being said, this guy is a total jerk for burning the thing! He should have just broke up with her. Or maybe he could have "accidentally" washed it with the sheets.
My sister is 40 and she still has a stuffed pig from when she was a baby. Her husband has a stuffy from when he was a baby too. They no longer sleep with them, but they are kept on a shelf on the closet. I couldn't imagine something happening to her piggy. She loves that thing more than anything. She washes it regularly though! There is no way I'd sleep in the same bed with something that hasn't been washed in years and years. That just seems unsanitary and dangerous.
I'm crying my eyes out for her, I have a coat that my husband knows means a lot. He brings it to me, I have it in the car too. I sleep with it, I cannot bare to think someone could do that. My mother was abusive and use to mock me and say she burnt it. What he did is evil beyond compare, my heart breaks for her. I cannot imagine the loss.
Wow. Just wow. First op... Ooooof. It was never about the blanket and the smell, it was about control and it was about him making her into an 'adult' now that she's in a 'grown up relationship'.
Bruh. I was actually with him in his frustration at the start. Especially if it's not cleaned, I would have a problem too. But she literally told him that it was a valued thing from her mother and he destroyed it? That's incredibly cruel. If she wasn't willing to learn to navigate life without having it in bed with them and he wasn't willing to learn to live with it, they needed to break up. He instead took the most heartless route ever. And for a relationship that's already over.
What was SO hard about leaving the girl who carries around something that makes you dry vomit bc of it's horrendous moldy smell vs getting dumped by a sobbing woman that you just gave trust issues?
I love how everyone's attacking OP for this. It's like dating a perfectly reasonable hoarder and one day you open their front door and the rats start coming out. All the commenters are telling you "YTA" when you through away some newspapers and dead cats.
@@peteranon8455 hoarding and keeping a stupid blanket are not the same thing. Now if she had a pile of stupid blankets that filled the entire house he would be right.
I don't mind the comfort blanket but the cleanliness would be the issue for me. She's gotta wash it.
@@peteranon8455 Maybe because it's not your house? Maybe because you could get a spine and just break up at that point?
@@peteranon8455 He's TA for not dumping the girl. You don't like something about someone - cool. Shut tf up and dump them. Don't eff with the person.
When someone breaks down like that in front of you and cries with grief, and you don’t get why, you need a lot of help in learning empathy. Even after he realized he did wrong, he still didn’t get how deep that betrayal was. It’s very sad.
Op keeps talking about how she threw away 2 years😔 he really has no self awareness. It's disheartening how many people there are in the world like this. People who see others happy with something that's harmless and want to destroy it because they don't understand will learn eventually. Hopefully he learns before he ends up alone forever🙏
IMO, he's the one that threw away 2 years. What a butt wipe!
quite frankly i hope he doesn't get into another relationship, with what he learned from this one he's gonna just get worse if he doesn't get a wake up call- and this should've been it and yet
No self awareness, no empathy, no fucking clue how women work or humans in general...
And at the end of the story… after all that, seeing his gfs despair, having it broken down by his gf and thousands of strangers on the interwebs, he still doesn’t get it. OP, you’re the one who destroyed your relationship over a ‘stupid blanket’
This is why when I got into a serious relationship I gave away my old blankets. I was afraid to be judged by my ex boyfriend when we were dating but it makes me happy that so many people think its not that abnormal
Hi. Everyone is missing something HUGE here. I've been in enough support groups for people abused and neglected as kids and this lady's blanket screams it. She needs a lot of professional help. I'm guessing she was really neglected by her parents growing up and this blanket and sewage smell are her "mother comforts" she never got from her actual parents. She needs a specialized therapist who works with c-ptsd
Edit: by burning the blanket and lying to her he's only created MORE issues for her. He's abusing her so now she'll only cling to her c-ptsd more. Dude should of just dumped her instead.
I do hope she seeks help. OP didn't do her any favors :(
Its depressing how far I had to read for this. 😣
I took it that the blanket was something remaining of her mother who might've passed away or left the picture when she was pretty little.
Sure, she has issues whatever they are but Op could have broke up with her before it got to this point, as that would have been the kindest thing to do.
Instead, he goes and does this rotten thing.
@@Tokuijin That was my read too! Of course someone like OP wouldn't include that information, people might get the right idea about him...
I want to point out a couple of things here:
It’s not always because parents neglect kids, it can be other factors. When I was four I had extremely violent nightmares so my mum bought be a stuffed animal saying she was a special one that came into my dreams and tell the bad ones to go away-it helped until I got older and I got really sick. When I was nine I had to be in and out of the hospital extremely sick which still affects me to this day. Hospitals give me severe anxiety because I have to go in from my medical issues (due to an autoimmune disease) annually. My stuffed animals and sleeping tablets are the only way I can sleep there or else I get shaky and sometimes cry because of how overwhelmed I get. It really depends on the person and situation not necessarily due to parents alone. There’s many factors it could possibly be.
as a 27 yo with a comfort blanket im scared of this one
edit: he whines that she's not compromising but he is the one who isn't, also gets told by the entirity of reddit that if he does sth to the blanket it's prolly game over, yet he stilled did and had the audacity to act shocked.... wow...
IKR? If anything, SHE has compromised after their first discussion by hiding the blanket from his view and using it only when he wasn't around, but he still refused to accept it. What an AH
@@denisa_the_jedi Absolutely.
OP got it backwards - If in a two year relationship you're not comfortable around someone enough to share deep personal matters (such as the blanket), then something's not working.
I'm glad the girlfriend dumped this controlling AH
Okay, i can get OP having issues with the blanket if it's really as nasty as described (which his behavior in the escalating updates makes me doubt) However, there were SO many things he could have done before burning it. He could have asked her to sleep in a separate bedroom if she couldn't sleep without it. Hell, he could have asked her to leave and work on weaning off her dependency on the blanket before they tried living together again. He could have just, i dunno, broken up with her? They've been dating for two years, not twenty. The world wouldn't have ended. Instead, he decided to destroy it so thoroughly that she would NEVER be able to salvage it. And then he threw in some lying and gaslighting on top.
I'm so glad she dumped his ass. Wonder what he would have tried to destroy next if he'd gotten away with this one.
I sleep with a blanket that was my son we lost 19 weeks into my pregnancy.I pet it for comfort. It’s becoming worn. It’s been 6 years, and I am very ill. The blanket brings me so much comfort. I am thankful my husband understands and only cares about my happiness.
Okay it's been over a year since Mark started doing this full time and just have to say I love how he's still singing at the beginning of his videos. Mark, you made the right move. This fits you!
Op is an absolute jerk. It means so much to her. Just because he can't understand why she likes it. Doesn't mean she had to get rid of it just to make him happy. 😡
He doesn’t understand bc he’s so busy putting himself 1st
Exactly! Yeah, WHAT the fuck is wrong with this dude? HE had a power trip and got jealous over an effin blanket.
@@thehangingtree7395 truth, jealous over a blanket. He is sick
he sounds like a psycho. "Between him and MY girl." O M G . Possessive asshole.
The fact that it took His ex breaking down in front of him for him to finally ‘understand’ just makes my blood boil!? I have a comfort blanket to that I sleep with every single night! It’s old and ratty the underside is practically falling out of it! Now granted I do wash it, but I can understand her not wanting to give it up. And hell as far as we might be aware she could be on the spectrum! And as someone who is on the spectrum, things like touch and things that we have very very vicious reactions towards. When I tried broccoli for the first time which it tasted absolutely fantastic I literally nearly threw up because of the crunch! It literally didn’t matter how tasty I found it my body literally wouldn’t let me eat it!
This reminds me of another scenario where OP asked his wife for a paternity test because their youngest son did not look like him. After being estranged from this child (who I think was under 10yo), accusing his wife of infidelity, and not listening when she said he looks like her grandfather, when the test came back that the child was indeed his, he was incredulous that his wife petitioned for divorce "all over a stupid test." What is that? When the bigger issue has been explained to you, is glaring at you, and you still cannot (or refuse to) see it?
Actually it was the middle Son he questioned the Paternity of
All children should have a paternity test at birth. That way there is no more of these situations. Or the reverse.
When he said he burnt the blanket… I fr almost started crying for her. I could not imagine my love doing me like that and being so nonchalant about it on top of that. Like it took her breaking down crying for him to understand that he did something so cruel. How? How did you not feel guilty when she was searching the house and you over here telling her places to look and helping her look?…. Sick. My heart breaks for her and I hope she finds a good way to heal from this betrayal smh.
He should have just broken it off with her. Then she’d only have one loss to deal with. What a jerk.
As an adult with a comfort blanket, reading the guy in the first story burned his GF's made me physically sick. If my husband did that, I would instantly end things. He knows it's important to me, has always known that I have it, and has accepted that it is a part of me like a freaking adult. Yeah it's old, tattered, and a bit out of place in our house, but no one cares.
Does your blanket have a nauseating smell that makes people gag and want to throw up? I'm not defending his throwing the blanket away that's what makes him the A-hole; he should have broken up with her.
Exactly. Burning the blanket was wrong. I am right with the guy about it being gross and weird but I think that was a sign he should have just ended it, not destroyed it and then lied.
I used to have a blanket as a kid. I even named it!
I no longer use it as a comfort blanket nowadays, but I still have it, as a memory, like some people keep their first teddy bear :)
(it doesn't even look like a blanket tho, it's been torn and re-sewn so many friggin' times, it looks like a rag you should toss out with the trash... but it's the memories it holds. My mom washed it tho, and I would wait by the washer and afterwards the dryer until I had it back)
It was more than a comfort blanket. I've only known some small children to be attached to "blankies" and that has evolved from various levels of emotional stress and/or trauma, but adults who are like this should also get to the core of their issues. I do not want to offend you Alixa, but am merely pointing out that it's a piece of cloth. Family, loved ones, do take precedent over tattered cloth. OP's gf has mental health issues to the point where she couldn't wash it. The blanket's filth reeked and the bacteria building does pose a health risk of illness and infection and also attracts pests that would carry and spread the bacteria/germs. The gf's deeply rooted need for something that disgusting, that she didn't even want to wash it, was very telling that she needs extensive mental health support.
@@Gloria-ro4vn yeah I think so too. instead of destroying her property.
I can't for the life of me continue listening to this... OP is one of those disgusting people that don't care about mental health and this is very triggering for me... love you Mark tho!
It's made me anxious, and I don't have anxiety! At least.... I didn't. My ex husband never cared if anything was mine and he wanted to throw it away, then he would! He threw away my piano when we moved house. It was an old one I just plunked on until I could start lessons, but no, it was a waste of space so he got rid of it.
@@carolroberts4614 what he did was absolutely atrocious and I hope you are healing well from it or healed well from it!!! God or universe or whatever you believe in blesses you! 🤗🤗🤗💕
I hope this helps. She dumped OP... right in the bin where he belongs!
Thankyou! Unfortunately that wasn't the worst of what he did! Cheated, was mean with money, and didn't bother much with our two girls when we split up. This was many years ago now, and he is living a lonely old age.Oh dear, what a pity, never mind, as we say in the family( British understatement)!
@@ebrown7338 oh yessss how I love a satisfactory ending! Thanks a lot, it really brought me relief!
Story 1: I have autism. Part of it is that I love smelling things, even more if it’s fabric. I do it unconsciously, in private and in public. It brings me huge comfort and peace. I get OPs ex girlfriend with the whole thing of it smelling different. The smell of grabéis softeners and some specific cleaners is irritating to me, and it makes me head hurt, so if I wash things, it takes me a few days to fully be able to smell them again and bring me the comfort I need. He is an absolute crazy person for burning something so important to her and not even realizing he did bad afterwards. My bf knows about me smelling things, and he himself gives me his jackets or sweaters when he sees I have nothing to cuddle or smell for comfort. That is how a real person that loves you acts. He doesn’t understand it, but he doesn’t judge you for it. As long as it isn’t hurting anyone, I don’t get why it angers him so much.
If you’re carrying around a moldy old blanket that you don’t wash then autism is not an excuse this is disgusting what this man did it’s fucking horrific but wash your fucking blanket memories should keep you going not moldy old smells from a blanket you don’t wash do you know on how unsanitary and disgusting that is
I’ve always been comforted by silk and satin with familiar scents embedded into it. Rubbing my face into it and feeling the texture really helps put me at ease. It used to be so bad- like the woman in the story- I couldn’t sleep without having that scent ant texture. My mom would take my cloths away or throw them out as punishment. Shit caused some resentment, but I’d always have extra hidden from her so I could sleep.
After trying to ween myself off it because I was told it was embarrassing to do, I can sleep without it but I sleep much better as an adult with my satin pillow. It comes around the house with me and it’s just good for my sensory issues fr.
Apparently my mom breast fed me in silk pjs and I got very attached to rubbing them on my lips. They smelled like her and somehow she and my dad figured out that it helped soothe me as a baby- so the cut up her pajamas and gave me bits of fabric to put me to sleep. Replacing them if I lost it. I wasn’t allowed to take “tag” to school, but I’d sneak it anyway. There was a specific way I liked it, especially scent-wise. No one else could touch it besides my mom or my dad because it would fuck up the smell. If it got yucky, I’d wash it because I wanted the silky texture along with my scent to be on it. That’s it though.
Same with my pillow. I won’t share them because I don’t want other people’s scent on them. If I let you use my pillow, I love you and I find your smell soothing. Like home.
I feel awful for OP’s Ex and I was yelling the whole time because I completely get it. She had a blanket perfectly soothing and suited for her and he didn’t recognize or appreciate the comfort that it gave her. I would’ve left his selfish, childish, un-empathetic ass too. Even if he didn’t lie about it, I told you how much it means to me and you fucking **burn it**?
Fuck him. What a cunt.
@@idontgiveah00t I 100% agree!!! I wouldn’t even be surprised if the blanket wasn’t in such a bad state and he just said it was to make his gf “look crazy”
He never did understand the meaning of a "comfort item". He just never did understand.
She didn’t break up with him over the blanket. She broke up with him because he gaslit her and lied to her. He damaged her trust when he burnt the blanket, but he demolished it and salted the earth when he lied to her about it.
I think OP is also gaslighting the audience. The reason her blanket might mean so much to her is because it could be an ancestral quilt blanket, where her family tree blanket contained a piece of each family members clothes and went far back in the tree. Those blankets while really old are priceless both monetarily and emotionally. He probably didn't mention it to try to make his side look better but no matter how much lipstick you put on a pig it's still a pig.
Even at the beginning of the story, I was scared that he was going to throw out or destroy the blanket. Was hoping that he wouldn't but nope, he's irredeemable. Poor girl deserves someone who can actually respect her.
Story 1: OP has selective hearing, I swear. She literally told you it was about the betrayal of trust and lying... and you still think it's about the blanket. How dense are you?!
Ngl, I was first on his side. I, admittedly, still have my old baby blanket as my comfort item, but I try to keep it clean as I can, though it does need some TLC I’m not adept in. So I figured maybe she needed to actually figure out why she wouldn’t keep it clean.
Then his true colors shown. Now I’m with her wanting to transform into an 80ft Dinosaur and kick him to the curb, literally
This is straight up the psychology of murderers
Oh my god the update…. I so SO hope this is a troll post bc i’m actually about to cry, even after her explanation of how secure and amazing the blanket made her feel, he still calls her selfish and burns it!? This poor girl I can’t even imagine
I do believe so, that way of writing is so unbelievable, he goes from saying they remorse to no remorse multiple times.
We can hope it's a troll post but don't forget there are people like OP that are that dumb and oblivious when it comes to the feelings of others
@@degstoll it’s pretty believable that he would go from being remorseful while he was still with her to going back to not understanding after the breakup. To him he did what he thought was the right thing because he still had his girlfriend until he told the truth.
@@degstoll same, i’m glad i’m not alone on this one.. it’s pretty easy to tell when it’s written like a story vs something that is actually developing and real
@@etherialrose7990 Yeah, but in today's day and age, we can barely trust internet strangers, especially without proof.
"I didn't know it was so important to her." -- OP, after not only having that conversation with her in person, but also typing it out and posting it online. Poor gf. This is a hoarders origin story if I ever saw one.
What an absolute piece of human refuse. I mean, I get what he means about the smell and her never washing it, that seems pretty odd to me, but to burn- BURN, of all things- something so irreplaceable to someone you supposedly love? Unforgivable.
Story 1: This was breakup territory, not destruction of a treasured belonging territory.
If the smell of the blanket is a dealbreaker for him he has the right to his feelings and end things, he does not have the right to make the decision to destroy her property. That's just never okay.
Whoa!! I had some sympathy for OP because I am sensitive to smells but damn! I can’t believe he burned it! I have a 37 yo stuffed Dragon (Dragie) and my husband loves him. When I’m out of town he will bring him out to watch tv with him. Send me selfies of the two of them. He’s great. 💛
That's sweet :)
Aww that sounds so cute☺
Aw, that's adorable! 😃
That's sweet!! Talk abt wholesome!!
Okay so if it smells awful that's a problem but really the only problem. Otherwise it's her property and it's her comfort item. If I were OP I would have come at it differently and would have asked her to figure out a way to take care of smell issues instead of just washing it behind her back or trying to get rid of it.
Awww man... he done fucked up majorly for burning it.
Yeah I get it's tough for her and she has sensory issues and total respect for that, but it really DOES need to be washed, since it's a health and safety issue for her, especially during a pandemic.
@@ScarabD oh yeah I totally understood his concerns but he at every turn just continued to go the wrong way about all of it.
@@artygirl66 they aren't concerns for her, he's just a selfish asshole. He could of moved on or broke up. He couldn't be compassionate at all.
@@solmas2111 I more meant his concerns with the cleanliness of the blanket lol he kinda proved throughout the video he only felt guilt after seeing how much it affected her and after she dumped him over it.
@@solmas2111 the cleaness should be her concern, unless she wanted to get sick, if you are smelling mold for a long time it could develop to an severe alergy or worse
You have NO idea what people that have comfort blankets have gone through to get to a point where the smell and feel of a blankey brings comfort. I have one too, and I’ve been through every form of abuse you can go through. When everything happened it was the only thing I had that brought me comfort
The comfort item was with us through our hardest times and never judged us. Apathetic SO’s were not. In the face of our comfort items? They mean nothing
He had so many opportunities to have a conversation with her about the blanket but made it one sided and made the wrong choice at every turn
This story literally made me feel faint. I have two important items, my childhood teddybear and a cheap necklace I bought at the age of 10. If someone dared to destroy any of these items I would rise hell on Earth. When OP said he'd burnt the blanket... Oh my god, I just can't, it's so heartbreaking. I hope his ex recovers from this. That douche doesn't deserve her and she is lucky to have escaped from someone so manipulative. Now he lied about a blanket, who knows what he'd lie about next.
OP ended the relationship the second he burned the blanket
She had an unstable childhood where that blanket was a constant reassurance, she tried explaining and compromising but none of that mattered to him until he realized there would be consequences for him
STORY 1: reminds me of the story where OP took his girlfriend’s comfort blanket and threw it in the garbage behind her back. Having a comforter blanket/security blanket is not a bad habit. Chewing your nails and burping as loud as you can out in public are bad habits.
“I don’t get it it’s a piece of cloth“
Just because something is not important to you that does not mean it should not be important to somebody else.
I do have my own comfort blanket, this really cute Halloween spiderweb throw blanket, and the soft texture does align with my sensory issues. Of course I keep up with washing it because that material can easily mildew. A better compromise would have been trying to find a replica of a blanket and buying her a new one. If The smell truly was awful and it was a tattered mass of fraying loose threads then getting a new one on her terms is the best compromise.
“I don’t understand why she is so attached to such a disgusting piece of cloth“
Did you ask her? Did Grandma make it for her and that Grandma is not alive anymore and that’s why she’s keeping it? Was it her source of comfort in her early childhood and she can’t part with it?
Again instead of demanding that she gets rid of it a better compromise would be her getting a new one that’s exactly the same. If it wasn’t handmade by a deceased relative finding a replacement shouldn’t be that hard.
UPDATE 1 & 2:…. He got advice from multiple perspectives and still went through with getting rid of it. What a selfish POS. She doesn’t need therapy because like she said having a blanket is not hurting anybody. “You should be able to give up your blanket as it’s a really immature habit for the sake of a grown-up relationship“
I would’ve kicked him in the nuts…
Girlfriend explained exactly why that blanket meant to her and how it basically helps with her mental health but he didn’t give a damn.
“she wasn’t listening to me she was just being plain selfish“
Hello pot this is Kettle.
Seriously going into detail about how good he felt to watch that blanket burn after he said on fire, what a bastard. “No longer can it stand between me and my girl“ I’m pretty sure she’s not going to be a girl for much longer. Like did he really admit to feeling like he was in competition with a “piece of cloth“
The way he was playing the ignorance game just watching her frantically trying to find it…..
I swear OP is more evil than that wife in the other story Mark read where wife took her husband’s beloved tattered T-Rex plush and got rid of it. I mean at least she said to her husband’s face with a smug look bragging about how she got rid of it instead of basically allowing him to be tortured while he tore the house up trying to find it….
“I didn’t realize how important the blanket was to her“ she said straight up to your face why it was important to her!!!! TF?!?!
“no I didn’t take your blanket I would never do something like that to you“
But you did though….POS
ATE: suggesting a new blanket while she still have her old one would have been something to talk about. Not you destroying her original one and automatically assuming it’s gonna be all sunshine and rainbows when you present her with a replacement. Replacements need to be done on her terms not shoved down her throat because you were a POS and you just want this problem to go away.
UPDATE 3: OP is such a narc! It literally took him up to this point understand how badly he hurt GF and understand how irreplaceable that blanket was. OP does not love his girlfriend. If you love someone you would not undermine their feelings and destroy their personal property because it doesn’t tickle your fancy.
Final edit: really glad she dumped his sorry ass and the fact that he still cannot wrap his head around the ramifications of what he had done just shows how much of a horrible partner he is. I’m pretty sure if something of his that was very meaningful to him was destroyed and he was met with the same “it’s just a stupid blank get over it“ he would not like that. Honestly considering how much of a narcissist he seems to be getting a taste of his own medicine will not help him understand how horrible he was to his ex girlfriend.
Hello pot this is kettle 😂
I feel so sorry for the GF when Op admitted to burning the blanket. At that moment, she knew she had lost a part of her childhood that she would never see again; and all because of the total Asshole she was with. I would have felt so heartbroken if I were in her shoes. GF has more grace then I do because she simply walked out quietly while I would have lost my shit at OP for doing this. I hope she tells her and his friends what he has done because they deserve to know what kind of person OP is.
@@ceciasa3376 oh yea. I’d have thrown fists and broke anything he *loved* and kicked him out. His place or not
also, we do not know how "smelly" or "dirty" the blanket actually was. That was OP's opinion, no one else's. He hated the blanket because it gave her comfort and he was jealous of the fact it gave her comfort and was using any excuse to justify his decision to get rid of it. He had already washed it behind her back so it could not have been that disgusting that quickly. He was a selfish, immature moron. All the people saying she was refusing to compromise, WTF, it was her property, she should not have to compromise. It was not affecting their relationship, she did not take it out of the house. It did not impact her ability to function, he admitted all that. It was, pure and simple, jealousy on his part. Jealousy over a frigging comfort blanket. He screwed up his whole life because he needed to have control. I can't believe the people who are blaming the victim here. It is disgusting. So many red flags with him. His controlling, narcissistic, gaslighting behavior is classic abusive behavior. She is well rid of him.
So my friend has mental health problems and for her it’s not a item like a blanket but a character sorin markov from magic the gathering she has a playmat of him that she hugs when it gets rough however she’s afraid about accidentally getting the playmat dirty or torn does her boyfriend demand that she gets rid of the playmat nope why because it’s something that brings her joy and she really cares for the playmat and the character he even got her a wall scroll of sorin I’m currently making her a ragdoll style plushy of sorin for her I legit spent like 2 hours attaching the yarn hair
My SO and I were listening to this together and we both got so frustrated! I have a thing for stuffed animals and instead of being embarrassed or annoyed my SO feeds my habit (probably not a good thing lol) and we have lots of stuffed animals that hold special memories for us both.
OP1 is a crappy boyfriend, and a crappy person.
Imagine if he was dating someone with PTSD : "Jesus Christ, GF, stop having your panick attacks already! God, you're so annoying! Your panick attacks are making me uncomfortable!"
Or someone with Depression : "Why are you so sad all the time! For God sakes, cheer up! You're bumming me out Your depression's making me uncomfortable!!"
Or someone with Tourrettes : "Why are you always acting so weird! What's wrong with you! Geez, act normal! Your tics are making me uncomfortable!"
You guys get it.
In short, the best girlfriend for him, and best he can get at this point, is his right hand.
Not to mention all the lying to her face about what he knows he did, gaslighting her etc. He's a straight up psychopath. And she may likely have some form of trauma from childhood which is why she had the comfort blanket, but HE's the one who needs therapy!
The guy jumped to burning the blanket after all of reddit told him its important to her and he is shocked to learn after burning it that its important to her!
You know what infinitely better solution I came up with in 5 seconds that the op didn’t come up with after consulting reddit twice?
Give her an ultimatum that states she either washes it after a given amount of time to no longer be a health hazard, or sleep in separate bedrooms
No threat to end the relationship, and both possibilities of the ultimatum will result in op getting less exposure to the blanket's scent or moldy look.
If you don’t like the property of the person you are with to the point of planning to get rid of it, maybe it’s time to reevaluate your relationship and move on.
Before updates edit:
At least rather than hurting them for your own benefit, it’s a form of control and telling them you’d only accept them if they contort to how you picture them.
ETA update 1: so against the advice of people on reddit he went to her and insulted not only the blanket but his girlfriend too? Why didn’t she break up with him? If someone said my comforting methods are immature and disgusting, I wouldn’t want them around
Update 2: and he burned it instead of breaking up with her. He caused her immense pain for his own selfishness. He literally has no self awareness
Those edits: he still called it disgusting despite knowing how upset it makes the girlfriend. She deserves so much better than the crusty disgusting smelling man she is with
And update 3 and 4: he continues to double down despite knowing how much the blanket means to her. “It’s just a blanket, I got you a new and better one”. Not to her and you may feel “guilt” on a selfish reason but you’d never would understand her
Unrelated but I'm surprised that you can be surprised to incel cesspool channels like Yellow whatever his name is and also be susbcribed to the Click.
Odd.
I've had my comfort blankie since I was a literal infant. If my partner, whom I love and trust, were to throw it away for ANY reason, ANY REASON AT ALL, we would be over instantly and I 100% know I would grieve over the blanket infinitely more than the ex.
Edit: wow. OP is such a terrible person. I don't know how he can even manage to choke out the words "I love you" to that poor girl.
Edit 2: "She'll be so relieved!" What. The. FUCK
I have two baby blankets that I’m so incredibly attached to, my aunt hand knitted them while my mom was pregnant with me 22 years ago. While they don’t stink, some may think my attachment to them is weird. If someone BURNED them or tossed them I would be devastated beyond belief. I can’t even imagine.
1st story. There's no helping this man. He's literally asking reddit to help him figure out how to lie to his gf about his crime after they told him not to do anything with the blanket. He even sounded excited about burning the blanket. He could've just hid it temporarily and then "found" it after seeing how the gf reacted. He still didn't understand the scope of his mistake even after the gf gave him that dead pan look. He's still on about the blanket even to very end. There's just no hope for OP in his relationships.
Bro, he did not get on the internet to consult reddit, he did it to brag. Everything about his posts and updates just humiliates her and tries to claim victimhood for himself, and he gets to relive her suffering in graphic detail.... I'd bet money it didn't stink, or was dirty they don't last decades if not cared for properly... He just didn't want her to have any comfort outside of him. This guy's a Dateline ticking time bomb
I’ve had a stuffed cat since the day I was born. I have never gone a night without cuddling her, and she has given me huge anxiety relief. She was there for me when I was in the foster care system, she was with me every day in childhood… She is still with me today and I make sure to keep her in good condition. When I sleep, I hold her and she is by my side. When I have panic attacks or major anxiety, I hold her and I start to feel much better. I couldn’t imagine being without kitkat (not named after the candy. It was just my baby way of saying kitty kat), especially in moments of panic, fear and major emotions… If anyone were to throw her away, I would probably lose it and cry and not wanna be with anyone and I’d do anything to find her and get her back because she has been there my whole life. I know she isn’t alive and is just a stuffed animal… but she was my support, for 21 years.
But I don’t get how it’s weird… Most people have a ‘security blanket’ or ‘safety stuffed animal’
Same here! I have a stuffed cat that shares the name of my first cat, now sadly no longer with us, and the mere thought of someone throwing it away because it's "childish", or doing the same to ANYONE'S security item, makes my blood boil.
As for some people see it as "weird", it's because we're taught pretty much from the moment we leave kindergarten that stuff like that is "childish" and we're "immature and not a real adult" for having one. The old favourite chestnut people like to spew is "once you're an adult, you should put away childish things" from the Bible.
Personally, I prefer C.S. Lewis' version - "“When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up.”
Have a stuffed cat too. Had her since I was 1. She's needed to be stitched up before.
I cuddle her when I need that Security feeling to sleep.
She needs to be restuffed because of how I hold her but that isn't happening! Also missing a whisker.
If anyone tried to get rid of her, I would not stay around.
I don't know why this guy decided destroying the comfort item was the solution. he must think its weird. personally, he is the asshole for that, but the fact that he specified it REEKED from being unwashed for so long, and the girlfriend got super mad he washed it....IdK. she should wash the blanket. or he should continue to wash it for her. if she continues to object, then they should've just broken up. He shouldn't ahve destroyed it, but not many people will put up with an unwashed piece of fabric that is constantly collecting body oils, skin cells, dust, etc for months and months on end.
Totally get it. I have a bear who’s exactly the same. He’s really old and ratty now wearing too-big build-a-bear pjs but he’s super comforting to keep with me. I know it may be a little immature to some for an adult to hug their teddy bear at night but hey, it’s comforting and not hurting anyone.
Also as an autistic person, comfort items are EXTREMELY important. You don’t even have to be neurodivergent to have one! Anything that brings you comfort during times of distress is incredibly important and personal. The idea of getting rid of it because it’s immature or childish or gross is just so incredibly insensitive.
LOL no not really. I don’t know one single adult who has a security anything. A sentimental object you can’t bring yourself to throw out maybe but a security blanket or stuffed animal for an adult? Very weird!
Something like this is an obvious compatibility issue. I don't understand why someone would say oh let me be devious and get rid of my gf/bf's cherished item instead of just ending the relationship.
"Instead of just ending the relationship" This is the response I was looking for. I mean. Did it never occur to him that he should just break up rather than destroy her property?
Because abuse people are big on control. He didn't love her. He wanted to possess her.
The one thing I can say I get is the smell and texture of the blanket specifically being a problem. Smells are a lot harder to block out than visual discomfort and the reaction is far more involuntary (like gagging or heaving) at least for me. The description of that greasy unwashed texture and smell is far past my tolerance for bedding alone. I’ve put bedding through the wash for FAR less.
If it wasn’t for the hygienic problem, everything else is him needing to sort his shit out. Don’t throw her comfort object out, don’t destroy it, don’t do anything with it behind her back. That’s a dick move. But there is a conversation to be had about compromising on the possible hygienic issues.
Had a roommate that never cleaned, the apartment stunk the moment he opened the door. I even offered to help him clean, but he did everything to stay that dirty. He lost jobs over it.
I am of the mindset that if one refuses to keep to a certain minimum of hygiene, they don't need a wash, they need a therapist. May it be their whole area, or just 1 Item.
I get the smell issue too, and I think it would have been reasonable to work on washing the blanket every so often or spraying it with febreeze or something. But this guy is a freaking psychopath.
That's what I figured. Having the items issue an for me. The item in question smelt so badly and looked so disgusting, that's an issue.
@@sarasmr4278 he went that far BECAUSE she refused to do anything about it. Remember in the beginning how he washed it and got into trouble for it?
If it were a bodypart or her general level of cleanliness, we'd all tell him to run because she'll make him sick with her REFUSAL of hygiene, but because it's a comfort item it's okay?
You want to cuddle with an Apple from my neighbours compost bin? It's nice and fuzzy.
I would agree but OP complains so much about her attachment to the blanket and not just the smell that it sounds like OP is jealous of the attention GF gives the blanket. I'd implore the GF to clean it, not get rid of it, and at least come to a compromise that she keeps it in a somewhat airtight container when not using it and reduce the frequency she uses it. OP is just mad they aren't getting their way.
I did have a comfort blanket growing up but I eventually let go of that blanket (taken away) The need to find comfort in a blanket never went away though. It morphed into a different thing where the texture of my bed comforter has to feel a certain way and even smell a certain way. It's really hard to explain how comforting it is. I think if that blanket as a child has not gotten taken away from me I would have tried to keep it forever. The way OP treated his GF is disgusting, he refused to understand how GF at all and does not deserve her
My uncle had surgery for cancer as a grown-up and his sister got him a bunny that he called his pain bunny that he would hold to the side where the surgery scar was at. Any time after that, if he got sick (because both of us have chronic lung issues), he would hold the bunny to his side. The bunny is all rubbed raw and frayed where his hand always was holding it. When I was a child and had my first serious bout with pneumonia, he got me my own pain bunny, because my side hurt so much from coughing. Now he’s gone and I have both pain bunnies.
Story 1: he is such an asshole, i have a comfort blanket ive had since I CAME OUT OF MY MOTHERS WOMB. i have sensory issues and if a guy ever did this to me, id be getting a restraining order and be going to court because you can not find This Blanket anymore. you can not find any of my blankets anymore they were a gift from the hospital as well, im glad she broke up with that pos. if he simply doesnt understand how a blanket has so much value to someone, how would he understand an engagement ring?
I 100% get this, I have a blanket someone I don’t even know made for me and I just find so much comfort in it. It’s hand made so it’s irreplaceable
Can she sue him for destruction of properly? I’d at least try
I have a blanket my grandmother made me as a child. It’s been repaired multiple times, and the threads in the fabric are stating to wear. My husband didn’t even question my need to keep it with me in every trip and move we have made. He has even gone out of his way to make sure it was kept safe when family visited. I probably would have left if he ever intentionally destroyed it.
OP still doesn’t get it because he keeps saying it’s about a blanket when she clearly said it was about the breach of trust as well as destroying something precious to her which is a red flag even if he didn’t see its value he understood that it was emotionally important to her. For the first few sentences of the post I could sort of see his point that it did sound unhygienic and if there’s a noticeable smell I can see why I wouldn’t want that in the bed with me either but he should’ve communicated and tried to compromise with her it wasn’t okay to just take it away he went way too far.
It’s the cognitive dissonance. If he acts like the situation is “just” about the blanket, he doesn’t have to take responsibility for causing her emotional harm. A lot of manipulative people do that so they don’t have to take responsibility for how they hurt others, because they can claim that the stuff they destroy or the things they say are “just” stuff or things. In his world, all he did was destroy an old blanket, and SHE’S the one “choosing” to take it personally, which, to him, makes the break up her fault.
I truly believe the blanket did not even smell. He’s a proven liar and said that to justify his hatred of her blanket
Lying about the blanket is beyond awful. There is no way I could stand a smelly blanket like that. I would never get rid of such a thing but if they couldn’t compromise and wash it or keep it away from me it wouldn’t work out for either one of us. At the very least have her get help for it. She said it comforted her and she needed it next to her however where was her concern regarding the fact that he was having such a bad time with the smell of it that it made him ill.
I would’ve said either we are getting counseling and finding a solution that benefits both of us or this is not gonna work out bye.
Omg the blanket story had me on edge. As someone who has a security item, a shirt of dad's, he passed away when I was young, if my so threw it away, worse burned it I would never ever forgive him. My trust would be dead.