Lol, I got that "Just get over it!" line many times. Ridiculous. I grew up with a violent alcoholic mother who tried to kill me, plus many other tragedies too numerous to mention. Healing and recovery can be a slow, very lonely road.
@@mr.d.572 Oh yeah, I'm an ACO Alcoholic's, as in two🙄 Lots of other family mentors to help me get through childhood and adolescence. Bad burn out by 35, but I'm basically a sane single again.
@@robertrichard6107 Since my parents divorced when I was very young, I first lived with the alcoholic mother. My dad was not an alcoholic but he was a narcissist. We eventually lived with him and he married the Wicked Witch of the West, which made things really bad and lots of stuff happened. I did grow up around alcoholics because of my mother, and so I can say that I imagine both parents being alcoholics must have been a really terrible mindwarp for you. I am sorry this happened to you and I'm glad you're finding your way with help. I'm not sure what church kept them together but the churches that I have attended or worked for would not have done anything of the sort.
@@mr.d.572 Well your story sounds just as qualified pro survivor as mine. ACA use to be catching on, but when they got into family stuff, professional assist is usually helpful. Liz looks familiar, might have seen her at meetings way back. ' never been up there in Lee High, but got help there in SEPA back when I was 35. I traveled pretty far, you get a sober look away from America.
Thanku TEDtalk for having this level of resilient person talking about a huge topic that resonates in diferent generations, diferent languages, social status, genders...also is highly important to mention how to treat the figure of the "agresor", she speak in this TEDtalk about her father, and does a psicomagic act in front of an audience. That is showing control of how we can put ourselves in a safe reality through talking, through intimate open conversations. Not just WTH a psicologa, but with family.
I am amazed, for every time I see wide open spaces I want to do cartwheels and backflips. This came to me a couple of years ago, and I thought I was the only one who had this.. Many of the things you said resonated within me, touched me, and for this I would like to thank you.
I still struggle with feeling ok in my body to the point that it sometimes limits me to do certain things. Moving around freely makes you visible, vulnerable. The only time I can really feel completely free from this is when I am around my girlfriend's 3 year old (who is the most amazing and inspiring youngster in the world! And should have her own ted talk ;-)) I lose all these inhibitions and she really has a way to force you to lose all your inhibitions and she teaches me to be in touch with my child-self again. The first moment we met she unexpectedly launched herself into my arms with such confidence that I wouldn't drop her, and immediately became my mentor (I mean come on: her name is Aura!), she calls me her best friend and we have deep meaningful conversations about life and death while we go to the bathroom (she brings these things up), She talks about the film "Frozen" and sings the theme song (quite appropriate), going to the playground, making art, when I will move in with her and her mom and dad ;) and all I can do is listen in awe, talk with her and most of all play! Long story short, I can now do a bridge from standing position, and a handstand against a wall... so I guess there is improvement! Thank you again!
This child sounds heaven sent! My granddaughter is one who never walks from point A to point B. She is either skipping, cartwheeling, slide stepping or dancing. Every now and then I follow her lead and EVERY time it makes me giggle. I'm with you on having a younger mentor! Also, I am so happy to know your journey has these moments of love filled space. A smile completely invading my face right now and I surrender.
Your story gave me hope for healing. I have been on a long journey of counselling, pills addiction, i am off meds now...putting off trauma therapy. You made me cry at the end i need to finish what i started. A book...i have started many times, i feel if i can get it out on paper i will take back my power.
I've been carrying this for over 40 years and finally was able to get help and start the process of healing when my life came crashing down around me, the triggers, nightmares, anxiety, panic and my previously healthy body started breaking down, wracking pain, migraines, gyn issues, tests, procedures,biopsies, surgeries...I have a really great healthcare team who, while not holistic, are supportive of alternative therapies. I've recently begun using EFT and EMDR is coming up. First I'm trying to get into a better/safer living situation. Anyway, I wanted to say a 💜felt thank you. So much of what you said was as if you were telling my story. I too don't have a happy relationship with meds and put my foot down on that subject. I will be getting a medical marijuana card and look forward to using cbd products to help. I have panic attacks during/after most showers (and other times). I used to shower everyday. Hearing your account made me feel a little less shame. Thank you. This is going on my playlist. 💜
L. Poper I know this is probably annoying and maybe you’ve heard it before but you should try meditation. It’s honestly life changing and you won’t believe how impactful it is on your life.
@@chynnhowe thank you for reaching out to me, it's not annoying. 😊 That comment was so hard to post but I'm trying honesty & leaving behind secrecy. I've been using mindfulness meditation and you're right, it's very beneficial/useful. And I recently found a group (I live in a very quiet, rural area of CT, not a lot of support groups) that meets at the library where we have a period of meditation and then sharing later if we choose to, no judgements just support.
@@LPoperand I turned toward breathing on purpose, breath practices, that restore the central nervous system! My heart is happy that your heart is on the path. Keep trusting your heart
@3:03 seems so true from how complex &hard it is to find real emotional stability in that because of the dependency depletes your own body from naturally balancing your emotions rather then doing it with unnaturally with toxins that can do alot of damage&psychosis
I absolutely believe in the power of breathe, EMDR, talking, and grounding. I have found so much healing in these therapies. Whether it's movement, meditation, or focusing on my breathe, these tools are extremely helpful. I don't think it is responsible to make blanket statements about medications though. Medications are certainly not the cure and should never be used as such but they can be what keeps a person alive long enough to do the work that will lead to greater well being. Medication is not for everyone but, in some cases, it is a necessary part of the journey that leads to healing. That said, I sincerely appreciate the sentiment found in the ideology you shared. Your journey reminds me very much of my own and the life I see in your eyes is what I continue to seek. Thank you for sharing your story. It took me to places that were painful and hopeful. My heart aches for what you went through and I hear the child within me, after listening to the child within you tell her story. She reminds me "I'm still here. Please hear me and be with me."
Thanks so much ma'am... the breathing bought me so much life- and the closure I so desperately sought. I had a death-wish most of my life. This dissolved away... ...I shall never ever turn my back on any disclosure... lets live with the truth...
Thank you for shedding light on the fallacy of Pharmaceuticals! God bless you! These talks help me as a Sexual Abuse Conqueror and a Christian Counselor.
Hmm ... I quickly hit overload during these panic moments then shut it down and repress (sorta like that pharmaceutical 'bandaid' i guess) it to return to a "functional" state until it surges back out again. Just starting to face this and I'm shocked to see how few ressources are available (especially locally). EMDR was broached but the therapist went nowhere with it (despite my repeated requests) and I ended up calling the sessions off. Where to start is indeed a daunting and overwhelming question. Too many are too busy with their own lives to have time to stop and offer help. Few want to hear beyond a few minutes then they get uncomfortable and want it to go away ... shortly thereafter they take themselves away. I hadn't noticed the difference in breathing but it is indeed true, this may offer me something to try.
Thank you for your message.. I relate to this a lot. I was raped when I was fifteen. Multiple times by someone I knew. And I agree with the prescriptions. They don't work for me either.
Elizabeth Jordon i havent besides my own personal journey incest molestation as a child and my huge family all knew and allowed it. my only other female cousin was raped along with the violent molestation. as a teen i was raped and kenneled like a dog, beaten and never safe never happy, hurt one moment and grand acts of kindneas the next....he turned out sociopathic and along with the years of rape he attempted to murder me, with multiple stab wounds and a deeply slit neck. i barely survived that night. i tried escaping out of cages, kennels or trunks and always was found, returned to my prison and punished for "not loving him" so what happens then? im silent and end up with a narcissistic partner who crushed any remaining mental and emotional spirit that was left over from the first guy trying to crush my physical and sexual being. depressed to the point of suicide. lived with abuse for over 20 constant long years, friends family knew, no one called the police, no one reached out. decided not to be a victim and to help others, every one, love all life as sacred and life a harmless life as much as possible. finally secure and confident, still keeping waves of fear and ptsd episodes to a minimum. i see hope and beauty out there and all around me, i will never carry that burden and be blind to life again :) its possible to heal to a point of functioning, happy life. dont give up
@chloweful - I hurt to read of your experience and hope for your ability to walk daily in moments of authentic strength. I started my healing journey at the age of 19. At 57, I still bump into the shadows of old wounds. My practices are as life-giving as they are sustaining and I am grateful for them.
@carmen sierra - I had to stop and breathe before I could keep reading your experience. I am so very sorry to hear of it. You and I - and many who's stories are parallel - are alike, in that, we choose partners that mirrored in some way, an abuse pattern. It is hard work to change the subtle and covert ways of thinking that put us in that line of fire. The time it takes to heal is not to be measured or rushed. I keep feeling this gratitude towards you. Thank you for choosing to stay alive. Thank you for being in this world long enough to 'let the light shine through the cracks' and thank YOU for not giving up.
It's not reasonable to take a rigid stance against medication. It's not about dulling all emotions or providing a magic pill. And if the prescriber has the right medication and the right dose it's about taking the edge off so a person can look more clearly - with some perspective. It's one part of the picture of healing and wellness.
I agree. As I am always evolving I have come to fully appreciate the role both prescribed and plant medicines play as part of the journey. I apologize for any language that may have demonized it. Thank you for speaking your truth about.
Wonderful idea. Impractical for the many. Possibly could help a few. Speaking from diagnosed Complex PTSD. diagnsed 15 years. I Was truly hoping to hear something for me to use. Good luck all.
I realize this response is 6 years later (I mostly let go after it was public out of fear of judgement) visiting today, following a nudge, here I am. This definitely over simplified a process that is anything but simple. I’m so sorry about that. Healing is messy and non linear and more often than not it is unpredictable. Mostly I show up to say it’s possible. Not something I embodied in my twenties!
True healing is when you can look back at the moment when you got abused and see it as a blessing in disguise. After meditating, doing yoga and journaling my feelings I've come to realize that the only way for me to heal from my trauma is return to sexual innocence. The teachings of ancient tantra is the way to do that. Its so powerful and effective. I say my abuse was a blessing in disguise because it is the only reason i reached out to yoga and tantra. It is the only reason I wanted to understand the divine and pure essence of sexual energy.
@Noor Nazneen The things that shape us are either conscious or they are the result of unconscious patterns. I appreciate your experience. You rose to the level of consciousness. Puts a smile on my face to know there is one more human on the planet who transmuted the energy to know Love. Way to go!
There will never be a day that I look back at my damaged childhood/teen years and think "thank God I was raised in poison and hate!" Abuse is never a blessing. You can learn and move on but it should never be a memory to be thankful for.
31 Then said Jesus to those Jews which believed on him, If ye continue in my word, then are ye my disciples indeed; 32 And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.John 8:31,32 14 Heal me, O Lord, and I shall be healed; save me, and I shall be saved: for thou art my praise.John 17:14
Raised Roman Catholic, I had to come to terms with the hypocrisy of the patriarchy; a whole bunch of oppression under the guise of faith. Collecting the pieces to see the bigger picture, I realized I needed to heal there too. I discovered quite a bit of love when I let myself - through meditation - experience Jesus. I sooo wish they would teach THAT. To know the truth is to experience truth. I feel like that gets lost when it is quoted.
“A pill doesn’t make the story go away.”
My breath is stolen and I am eternally grateful for your words. Thank you.
@Seriously Single Mom Keep that full, conscious and complete breath moving. It is the first line of resource. You are not alone. Feel free to connect.
We need some more spiritual healers and less pharmaceutics
Lol, I got that "Just get over it!" line many times. Ridiculous. I grew up with a violent alcoholic mother who tried to kill me, plus many other tragedies too numerous to mention. Healing and recovery can be a slow, very lonely road.
It's more fun when both the parents are alcoholics, and the church keeps them together!
@@robertrichard6107
Did that happen to you?
@@mr.d.572 Oh yeah, I'm an ACO Alcoholic's, as in two🙄 Lots of other family mentors to help me get through childhood and adolescence. Bad burn out by 35, but I'm basically a sane single again.
@@robertrichard6107
Since my parents divorced when I was very young, I first lived with the alcoholic mother. My dad was not an alcoholic but he was a narcissist. We eventually lived with him and he married the Wicked Witch of the West, which made things really bad and lots of stuff happened. I did grow up around alcoholics because of my mother, and so I can say that I imagine both parents being alcoholics must have been a really terrible mindwarp for you. I am sorry this happened to you and I'm glad you're finding your way with help. I'm not sure what church kept them together but the churches that I have attended or worked for would not have done anything of the sort.
@@mr.d.572 Well your story sounds just as qualified pro survivor as mine. ACA use to be catching on, but when they got into family stuff, professional assist is usually helpful. Liz looks familiar, might have seen her at meetings way back. ' never been up there in Lee High, but got help there in SEPA back when I was 35. I traveled pretty far, you get a sober look away from America.
Thanku TEDtalk for having this level of resilient person talking about a huge topic that resonates in diferent generations, diferent languages, social status, genders...also is highly important to mention how to treat the figure of the "agresor", she speak in this TEDtalk about her father, and does a psicomagic act in front of an audience. That is showing control of how we can put ourselves in a safe reality through talking, through intimate open conversations. Not just WTH a psicologa, but with family.
I healed myself of PTSD by my writing and publishing my memoir (The Will of a Wildflower) . Stop shaming, and start talking.
Art is a powerful therapy and a great weapon
I am amazed, for every time I see wide open spaces I want to do cartwheels and backflips. This came to me a couple of years ago, and I thought I was the only one who had this.. Many of the things you said resonated within me, touched me, and for this I would like to thank you.
+Silent Theory Your Welcome. Thank you for connecting. So... do you DO the cartwheels? And if your throwing backflips, well, YEAH YOU!!
I still struggle with feeling ok in my body to the point that it sometimes limits me to do certain things. Moving around freely makes you visible, vulnerable. The only time I can really feel completely free from this is when I am around my girlfriend's 3 year old (who is the most amazing and inspiring youngster in the world! And should have her own ted talk ;-)) I lose all these inhibitions and she really has a way to force you to lose all your inhibitions and she teaches me to be in touch with my child-self again.
The first moment we met she unexpectedly launched herself into my arms with such confidence that I wouldn't drop her, and immediately became my mentor (I mean come on: her name is Aura!), she calls me her best friend and we have deep meaningful conversations about life and death while we go to the bathroom (she brings these things up), She talks about the film "Frozen" and sings the theme song (quite appropriate), going to the playground, making art, when I will move in with her and her mom and dad ;) and all I can do is listen in awe, talk with her and most of all play!
Long story short, I can now do a bridge from standing position, and a handstand against a wall... so I guess there is improvement!
Thank you again!
This child sounds heaven sent! My granddaughter is one who never walks from point A to point B. She is either skipping, cartwheeling, slide stepping or dancing. Every now and then I follow her lead and EVERY time it makes me giggle. I'm with you on having a younger mentor! Also, I am so happy to know your journey has these moments of love filled space. A smile completely invading my face right now and I surrender.
Your story gave me hope for healing. I have been on a long journey of counselling, pills addiction, i am off meds now...putting off trauma therapy. You made me cry at the end i need to finish what i started. A book...i have started many times, i feel if i can get it out on paper i will take back my power.
for once, after 15 years of abuse, someone speaks that makes sense. she's not talking about herself, she's talking about us.
Jessica F i know! thank you
This is probably the best video I've ever seen.
Thank you so much for putting the message about meds out there, Liz. There is so much truth to it.
So true.
EMDR, talking, and no pills for me.
" Just get over it ' is so hurtful to say to us.
Thanks for sharing
I've been carrying this for over 40 years and finally was able to get help and start the process of healing when my life came crashing down around me, the triggers, nightmares, anxiety, panic and my previously healthy body started breaking down, wracking pain, migraines, gyn issues, tests, procedures,biopsies, surgeries...I have a really great healthcare team who, while not holistic, are supportive of alternative therapies. I've recently begun using EFT and EMDR is coming up. First I'm trying to get into a better/safer living situation. Anyway, I wanted to say a 💜felt thank you. So much of what you said was as if you were telling my story. I too don't have a happy relationship with meds and put my foot down on that subject. I will be getting a medical marijuana card and look forward to using cbd products to help. I have panic attacks during/after most showers (and other times). I used to shower everyday. Hearing your account made me feel a little less shame. Thank you. This is going on my playlist. 💜
L. Poper I know this is probably annoying and maybe you’ve heard it before but you should try meditation. It’s honestly life changing and you won’t believe how impactful it is on your life.
@@chynnhowe thank you for reaching out to me, it's not annoying. 😊 That comment was so hard to post but I'm trying honesty & leaving behind secrecy. I've been using mindfulness meditation and you're right, it's very beneficial/useful. And I recently found a group (I live in a very quiet, rural area of CT, not a lot of support groups) that meets at the library where we have a period of meditation and then sharing later if we choose to, no judgements just support.
@@LPoperand I turned toward breathing on purpose, breath practices, that restore the central nervous system! My heart is happy that your heart is on the path. Keep trusting your heart
@3:03 seems so true from how complex &hard it is to find real emotional stability in that because of the dependency depletes your own body from naturally balancing your emotions rather then doing it with unnaturally with toxins that can do alot of damage&psychosis
I absolutely believe in the power of breathe, EMDR, talking, and grounding. I have found so much healing in these therapies. Whether it's movement, meditation, or focusing on my breathe, these tools are extremely helpful. I don't think it is responsible to make blanket statements about medications though. Medications are certainly not the cure and should never be used as such but they can be what keeps a person alive long enough to do the work that will lead to greater well being. Medication is not for everyone but, in some cases, it is a necessary part of the journey that leads to healing. That said, I sincerely appreciate the sentiment found in the ideology you shared. Your journey reminds me very much of my own and the life I see in your eyes is what I continue to seek. Thank you for sharing your story. It took me to places that were painful and hopeful. My heart aches for what you went through and I hear the child within me, after listening to the child within you tell her story. She reminds me "I'm still here. Please hear me and be with me."
Thanks so much ma'am... the breathing bought me so much life- and the closure I so desperately sought. I had a death-wish most of my life. This dissolved away... ...I shall never ever turn my back on any disclosure... lets live with the truth...
Omg what an inspiring phenomenal talk given by a human of the highest caliber!!! Thank you for sharing your story with us!
Fabulous woman. Thank you
Somehow I stumbled upon this, good to see you Liz, hope you are well from a fellow 1978 Salisbury High graduate....
God Bless......
Thank you for your message Liz. Your courage inspires us and gives us courage to find contagious courage
Feelings are not symptoms
Feelings are NORMAL!!!
powerless over people places and things
Liz, thank you from all women who know about this topic.............
love wins.
Thank you for shedding light on the fallacy of Pharmaceuticals! God bless you! These talks help me as a Sexual Abuse Conqueror and a Christian Counselor.
Unsubscribe please
@@anahit5380
Triggered much? 🙄
Love wins !
Hmm ... I quickly hit overload during these panic moments then shut it down and repress (sorta like that pharmaceutical 'bandaid' i guess) it to return to a "functional" state until it surges back out again. Just starting to face this and I'm shocked to see how few ressources are available (especially locally). EMDR was broached but the therapist went nowhere with it (despite my repeated requests) and I ended up calling the sessions off. Where to start is indeed a daunting and overwhelming question. Too many are too busy with their own lives to have time to stop and offer help. Few want to hear beyond a few minutes then they get uncomfortable and want it to go away ... shortly thereafter they take themselves away.
I hadn't noticed the difference in breathing but it is indeed true, this may offer me something to try.
Thank you for your message.. I relate to this a lot.
I was raped when I was fifteen. Multiple times by someone I knew.
And I agree with the prescriptions.
They don't work for me either.
Did you find something that works?
Elizabeth Jordon i havent besides my own personal journey
incest molestation as a child and my huge family all knew and allowed it. my only other female cousin was raped along with the violent molestation.
as a teen i was raped and kenneled like a dog, beaten and never safe never happy, hurt one moment and grand acts of kindneas the next....he turned out sociopathic and along with the years of rape he attempted to murder me, with multiple stab wounds and a deeply slit neck. i barely survived that night. i tried escaping out of cages, kennels or trunks and always was found, returned to my prison and punished for "not loving him"
so what happens then? im silent and end up with a narcissistic partner who crushed any remaining mental and emotional spirit that was left over from the first guy trying to crush my physical and sexual being.
depressed to the point of suicide. lived with abuse for over 20 constant long years, friends family knew, no one called the police, no one reached out.
decided not to be a victim and to help others, every one, love all life as sacred and life a harmless life as much as possible. finally secure and confident, still keeping waves of fear and ptsd episodes to a minimum. i see hope and beauty out there and all around me, i will never carry that burden and be blind to life again :)
its possible to heal to a point of functioning, happy life. dont give up
@chloweful - I hurt to read of your experience and hope for your ability to walk daily in moments of authentic strength. I started my healing journey at the age of 19. At 57, I still bump into the shadows of old wounds. My practices are as life-giving as they are sustaining and I am grateful for them.
@carmen sierra - I had to stop and breathe before I could keep reading your experience. I am so very sorry to hear of it. You and I - and many who's stories are parallel - are alike, in that, we choose partners that mirrored in some way, an abuse pattern. It is hard work to change the subtle and covert ways of thinking that put us in that line of fire. The time it takes to heal is not to be measured or rushed. I keep feeling this gratitude towards you. Thank you for choosing to stay alive. Thank you for being in this world long enough to 'let the light shine through the cracks' and thank YOU for not giving up.
@@carmensierra3935 you are brave! you are loved and believed
It's not reasonable to take a rigid stance against medication. It's not about dulling all emotions or providing a magic pill. And if the prescriber has the right medication and the right dose it's about taking the edge off so a person can look more clearly - with some perspective. It's one part of the picture of healing and wellness.
I agree. As I am always evolving I have come to fully appreciate the role both prescribed and plant medicines play as part of the journey. I apologize for any language that may have demonized it. Thank you for speaking your truth about.
Thank You Liz :)
Self pity is SO BORING! !
Beautiful talk
Creed needs to watch this.
Wonderful idea. Impractical for the many. Possibly could help a few. Speaking from diagnosed Complex PTSD. diagnsed 15 years. I Was truly hoping to hear something for me to use. Good luck all.
I realize this response is 6 years later (I mostly let go after it was public out of fear of judgement) visiting today, following a nudge, here I am. This definitely over simplified a process that is anything but simple. I’m so sorry about that. Healing is messy and non linear and more often than not it is unpredictable. Mostly I show up to say it’s possible. Not something I embodied in my twenties!
true all true especially the breath energy yah.
True healing is when you can look back at the moment when you got abused and see it as a blessing in disguise. After meditating, doing yoga and journaling my feelings I've come to realize that the only way for me to heal from my trauma is return to sexual innocence. The teachings of ancient tantra is the way to do that. Its so powerful and effective. I say my abuse was a blessing in disguise because it is the only reason i reached out to yoga and tantra. It is the only reason I wanted to understand the divine and pure essence of sexual energy.
@Noor Nazneen The things that shape us are either conscious or they are the result of unconscious patterns. I appreciate your experience. You rose to the level of consciousness. Puts a smile on my face to know there is one more human on the planet who transmuted the energy to know Love. Way to go!
There will never be a day that I look back at my damaged childhood/teen years and think "thank God I was raised in poison and hate!"
Abuse is never a blessing. You can learn and move on but it should never be a memory to be thankful for.
that was beautiful
Shes such a beautiful woman
Is it my device or is the volume on this video low
I did a cartwheel right outta here the moment this talk started to sound like an INFOMERCIAL!
So sorry about that. When I returned to watch with your perspective, I totally get it. I'll keep working that out somehow. Thanks for the feedback.
11:45- Reclaiming.
Why...why...do the victims have to do all the work...while the predators are allowed to even breathe?
ps and what a Fab Human you are Liz .....x yay love wins... cool...getting there..:)
Antidepressants made me feel like a zombie.
difficultés to hear
😊
31 Then said Jesus to those Jews which believed on him, If ye continue in my word, then are ye my disciples indeed; 32 And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.John 8:31,32
14 Heal me, O Lord, and I shall be healed; save me, and I shall be saved: for thou art my praise.John 17:14
Jannette Mavis Hobbs oh yeah like that really works....NOT
It has for me and millions of other people.
Raised Roman Catholic, I had to come to terms with the hypocrisy of the patriarchy; a whole bunch of oppression under the guise of faith. Collecting the pieces to see the bigger picture, I realized I needed to heal there too. I discovered quite a bit of love when I let myself - through meditation - experience Jesus. I sooo wish they would teach THAT. To know the truth is to experience truth. I feel like that gets lost when it is quoted.