The Infinity War Ashes Dealer | ASMR

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  • Опубликовано: 4 сен 2024
  • You are paid a personal visit by an individual selling the ashes of the superheroes (and a few non-supers) who were disintegrated during the Infinity War.
    Website ► ephemeralrift.com
    Patreon ► bit.ly/1EZgmNi
    Listen to selected works outside of RUclips:
    Spotify ► bit.ly/1V23U60
    CDBaby ► bit.ly/1AUt3Jj
    iTunes ► apple.co/1xIHLNd
    Podcasts:
    EphemRadio (on hiatus) ► apple.co/2afSkZQ
    Arkham Sanitarium (on hiatus) ►apple.co/2alraeV
    Social Media:
    Facebook ► / ephemeralrift1
    Twitter ► / ephemeralrift
    IG ► / e.rift
    What is ASMR?
    ASMR stands for Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response. It's a non-scientific word that an everyday person came up with to describe the feeling characterized as a pleasurable tingling sensation felt in the head, scalp, back and other regions of the body in response to visual, auditory, tactile, olfactory, and/or cognitive stimuli, such as crinkling bags, hand movements, whispering, personal attention or watching someone perform a task. It's like goosebumps but much more pleasant and without the uncomfortable chills.
    ASMR videos are meant to intentionally induce this sensation in the viewer, often referred to as "tingles", but the videos also serve to provide a relaxing, calming and soothing experience for the viewer. Many people who do not experience ASMR still enjoy the videos for their calming and sleepy effect.

Комментарии • 7 тыс.

  • @FredsVoice
    @FredsVoice 5 лет назад +12882

    Such a great concept, I applaud you Dr Strange

    • @julianburton4266
      @julianburton4266 5 лет назад +696

      FredsVoice ASMR Thor!!

    • @ZSan__
      @ZSan__ 5 лет назад +376

      No wonder you don’t comment on other people’s vids when you got comments like the ones above me here

    • @onepunchboi1962
      @onepunchboi1962 5 лет назад +77

      @@ZSan__ homophobe

    • @assassin_5656
      @assassin_5656 5 лет назад +99

      Sup Thor😆

    • @mustardman1040
      @mustardman1040 5 лет назад +70

      Froot Drank heterophobe

  • @TheDismissor
    @TheDismissor 5 лет назад +6127

    “Mr stark, I don’t feel so good”
    Ephemeral rift: “MONEY TIME”

    • @sholmes4593
      @sholmes4593 5 лет назад +159

      He was already behind Tony with a hand vacuum.

    • @help4761
      @help4761 5 лет назад +42

      Oh my god why is this funny? I'm trying not to wake my family up

    • @TheDismissor
      @TheDismissor 5 лет назад +64

      I bet when thanos snapped there was a 50% sale.

    • @goodguybuy7961
      @goodguybuy7961 4 года назад +7

      money time wtf hahaha

    • @idkbro4695
      @idkbro4695 4 года назад +5

      TIME TO GIVE ME MY MONEY yeahhhhhhh

  • @lucydanko4015
    @lucydanko4015 5 лет назад +6071

    I can just imagine him on his knees picking up the ashes while the avengers watch in horror

    • @sholmes4593
      @sholmes4593 5 лет назад +463

      He was definitely with a little broom and a ziplock bag while Steve was still trying to hug Bucky.
      ...
      ...
      ...
      Ephemeral Rift starts vacuuming Steve to get all the ashes.

    • @lucydanko4015
      @lucydanko4015 5 лет назад +40

      @@sholmes4593 lol

    • @axelf8557
      @axelf8557 5 лет назад +156

      Lucy Danko He just turns to them like “Hey do y’all know who this is? Don’t want to get them mixed up”

    • @hisnameiskilljoy
      @hisnameiskilljoy 5 лет назад +14

      Amazing XD

    • @hisnameiskilljoy
      @hisnameiskilljoy 5 лет назад +65

      Elemental Rift: *Claps* "Alright people, we got to get the dust then leave! Let's move it!"

  • @JJ-zr1wf
    @JJ-zr1wf 3 года назад +4050

    Thanos: **Snaps the universe to dust**
    This guy: Buisness is *Booming!*

  • @notmorko7100
    @notmorko7100 5 лет назад +4087

    Thanos: **snaps**
    Ephemeral Rift: *it’s free real estate*

  • @joealuise404
    @joealuise404 3 года назад +3593

    real respect for this man, he had the ability to hold up a bag of sand and say “here we have Spider-Man’s ashes” with a straight face for an hour

  • @Lutr.inae.
    @Lutr.inae. 3 года назад +4068

    This must be one of the 14,000,605 possibilities Doctor Strange saw

    • @hamsnadwich6767
      @hamsnadwich6767 3 года назад +126

      All my homies love this timeline

    • @sholmes4593
      @sholmes4593 3 года назад +102

      Doctor Strange stopped looking for more after spending six minutes trying to understand why someone would buy dust... and be sure that's part of a human being.

    • @fearful_light176
      @fearful_light176 3 года назад +8

      This is fine

    • @thehorrortrials9541
      @thehorrortrials9541 3 года назад +2

      Utiftituihiogyiifitgfiificuiytyyttuttfttyt

    • @thehorrortrials9541
      @thehorrortrials9541 3 года назад +1

      Utiftituihiogyiifitgfiificuiuytyyttuttfttyt

  • @SlyFunkyMonkey
    @SlyFunkyMonkey 4 года назад +4421

    I can just imagine this guy, running around the battlefield, bagging ashes.

    • @donovancurtis9381
      @donovancurtis9381 3 года назад +75

      Captain Jack Sparrow style™️

    • @226nick2
      @226nick2 3 года назад +23

      He is actually a scammer. The ash is probably ......

    • @wettoaster6739
      @wettoaster6739 3 года назад +63

      My question is how the hell did he get to Titan?

    • @ParanointDE
      @ParanointDE 3 года назад +34

      Why did i read banging ashes?

    • @thepizzatime3502
      @thepizzatime3502 3 года назад +9

      Like general Grevious

  • @maxt5994
    @maxt5994 5 лет назад +3914

    *Half of the galaxy dies*
    Ephemeral rift : *S T O N K S*

  • @Oonkeh
    @Oonkeh 5 лет назад +6814

    Imagine dying while saving the world just so you can end up inside a Ziploc bag

    • @martha.stella
      @martha.stella 5 лет назад +74

      Love the picture. Love the comment. Love EVERYTHING 👏

    • @megaeff921
      @megaeff921 5 лет назад +64

      @@martha.stella i love you

    • @toenails4607
      @toenails4607 5 лет назад +128

      New drugs
      Thanos cocaine

    • @jadencigola7105
      @jadencigola7105 5 лет назад +9

      I'm 300th like, let's go

    • @ShawnTheDon8
      @ShawnTheDon8 5 лет назад +5

      i was your 600th like㊙

  • @BasedRaccoon
    @BasedRaccoon 5 лет назад +8100

    Finally, I can fulfill my dreams of snorting Spider-Man.

    • @82dorrin
      @82dorrin 5 лет назад +566

      Am I using the Winter Soldier as steak seasoning?
      You bet your ass I am!

    • @SickMind42
      @SickMind42 5 лет назад +304

      nothing better than mixing scarlet witch with some water to make some magic juice

    • @omneshbleh8885
      @omneshbleh8885 5 лет назад +234

      Not what I had in mind when I wanted to suck spidey but aight

    • @simonstopher5212
      @simonstopher5212 5 лет назад +86

      You gave me a good little chuckle there my dude

    • @teddybear7247
      @teddybear7247 5 лет назад +20

      perfect

  • @Ozzysyn
    @Ozzysyn 3 года назад +3283

    "Would you mind if I have a seat?"
    "Yes."
    *_video ends_*

    • @Dew2Much
      @Dew2Much 3 года назад +16

      Nice

    • @u121386
      @u121386 3 года назад +44

      *Roll credits*

    • @neonfighter0748
      @neonfighter0748 3 года назад +10

      *plays whatever the hell that one credit roll meme is idfk the name*

    • @bananabus.
      @bananabus. 3 года назад +21

      @@neonfighter0748 directed by Robert b weide

    • @Glooberpoober
      @Glooberpoober 3 года назад +8

      Pls sir its 12 o’clock at night you can’t make me laugh rn-

  • @cactusjuice2627
    @cactusjuice2627 5 лет назад +6410

    Almost all of their names sound like they could be actual drugs ( drax, black panther, scarlet witch...)

    • @jisungbisung5477
      @jisungbisung5477 4 года назад +665

      doctor strange can make you feel strange

    • @zoee3296
      @zoee3296 4 года назад +575

      Y'all I got screwed on some Star Lord the other night... Still don't like the high as much as the one I get with some good old Nick Fury, though

    • @ItzCortana
      @ItzCortana 4 года назад +31

      Lol 😂

    • @joeltehguy
      @joeltehguy 4 года назад +264

      Gimme some of that spider man
      And i'll give you my groot

    • @denski6358
      @denski6358 4 года назад +144

      could work as drugs in Fallout New Vegas lmao

  • @benkern8233
    @benkern8233 3 года назад +4602

    *snorts a sixteen year old’s ashes*
    “My spidey senses are tingling”

  • @nicholasmapes
    @nicholasmapes 5 лет назад +1995

    I use "specialized equipment"
    **starts vacuum cleaner**

  • @acouchthathastheinternetav3618
    @acouchthathastheinternetav3618 3 года назад +377

    When people search up ASMR, this should be what defines what it is. Nothing seductive, nothing over the top, simply a man selling ashes.

  • @jaykay6222
    @jaykay6222 5 лет назад +2297

    What would Starlord's ashes give you, the ability to be familiar with 80's trivia?

    • @jeannehanewich1760
      @jeannehanewich1760 5 лет назад +34

      Jay Kay cockiness probably

    • @474mph
      @474mph 5 лет назад +5

      D

    • @logansmith7599
      @logansmith7599 5 лет назад +79

      Yeah 80s trivia definitely not the part that he’s Half god

    • @jaykay6222
      @jaykay6222 5 лет назад +58

      @@logansmith7599
      Half Celestial, yeah. True. Less funny though.

    • @yourlocalgamer7189
      @yourlocalgamer7189 5 лет назад +24

      Jay Kay being very upset and start whipping the person who killed your gf with a gun and end up getting all your friends killed

  • @d_fragg_8965
    @d_fragg_8965 4 года назад +1057

    Hulk brings back Avengers: "Snap"
    Every body that was snorting spiderman: I dont feel so good

    • @kalebpowell7942
      @kalebpowell7942 3 года назад +43

      Spider man becoming a amputee and spider woman: *AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH*

    • @boo-dl1lx
      @boo-dl1lx 3 года назад +8

      Underrated comment

    • @Igxana
      @Igxana 3 года назад +6

      Hol up

    • @benmoreno5882
      @benmoreno5882 3 года назад +11

      Lol just means there's a 50/50 chance someone ate spooder man's nut

    • @CruddySpark115
      @CruddySpark115 3 года назад +2

      P E T E R T I N G L E

  • @user-ue3vs4jl9b
    @user-ue3vs4jl9b 5 лет назад +230

    I bought an ounce of Spider-Man for $1,000; he said that since the supply was low its move expensive, and it didn’t do squat for me. Don’t trust this guy

  • @BasedHorrigan
    @BasedHorrigan 4 года назад +1494

    Black panther's ashes deal has turned so freaking dark...

    • @Destiny15
      @Destiny15 3 года назад +56

      This video was a year ago tho...

    • @catlxver4228
      @catlxver4228 3 года назад +98

      Holly hell yeah, i mean it's not his fault he did this a year ago but still shit dark as hell

    • @amziah8028
      @amziah8028 3 года назад +75

      All of you shut the fuck up holy shit.

    • @Destiny15
      @Destiny15 3 года назад +33

      @Jason Green lol, how salty can you be over a fucking RUclips comment...

    • @Destiny15
      @Destiny15 3 года назад +21

      @Jason Green Goddamn there is just no point replying to you...He ment is a joke and I was just pointing out that it was made a year ago. Why you no understand
      (ー_ー゛)

  • @eeeeeeeeeeeee9651
    @eeeeeeeeeeeee9651 5 лет назад +1350

    *"Hail Hydra, by the way"*
    Wait a second...

  • @exodus0529
    @exodus0529 5 лет назад +267

    Really underselling Drax's invisibility there.

    • @austinmelton8401
      @austinmelton8401 5 лет назад +5

      The absolute amazingness of the comments this video has produced. Love it

    • @ryanrush3633
      @ryanrush3633 5 лет назад +8

      It wasn't found, His dust was invisible too, unfortunately

    • @virtualhugman5718
      @virtualhugman5718 2 года назад

      And his inceedible reflexes able to keep concepts away from his mind

  • @dylanmcfiggins5816
    @dylanmcfiggins5816 5 лет назад +1388

    (Gets pulled over)
    Officer: can you explain what this is?
    Me: Spiderman.
    Officer: uhh... yeah you're coming with us.

    • @bladehardy
      @bladehardy 5 лет назад +63

      What happens when you snort spiderman
      I dont feel so good

    • @davudlastname2545
      @davudlastname2545 5 лет назад +18

      Peter Griffin: tries to get powers by going into a dumpy yard
      Me: tries to get powers by snorting peter parker's ashes then gets pulled over by cop and searched then dog searches dust and gets powers

    • @Michael-Ambarossa
      @Michael-Ambarossa 5 лет назад +2

      I hate to take the roll of a Grammar Nazi and tell you that what the officer last said is Yeah, you're coming with us.

    • @hamburger5331
      @hamburger5331 5 лет назад +1

      bruhh hhhahahahhaha
      just a drug called spiderman xD

    • @Jack-zd3vr
      @Jack-zd3vr 5 лет назад

      Dylan McFiggins you’re*

  • @DoubtfulBread68
    @DoubtfulBread68 3 года назад +841

    Imagine consuming Nick Fury’s ashes and end up going temporarily blind in one eye

    • @palmopolis_is_recording
      @palmopolis_is_recording 3 года назад +16

      @Izaya Wilhite seems like a fair trade to me, I don’t see a problem. *snorts nick fury through my entire sinus system*

    • @Us3r739
      @Us3r739 3 года назад +9

      He isn’t temporarily blind he is permanently blind, humans can’t replace eyes and since we don’t shed like reptiles, scarring is another consequence

    • @PastorYoda56
      @PastorYoda56 3 года назад +18

      @@Us3r739 the effect would wear off, that’s what he’s talking about. Not Nick Fury himself, but the effects of it.

    • @thedarklordakathelikelord4268
      @thedarklordakathelikelord4268 2 года назад +3

      You would gain half blindness but funny remarks any pretty much anything nick furry can do

    • @WillBinge
      @WillBinge 2 года назад +8

      And the ability say the n word
      And wield a purple lightsaber.

  • @02iscringe55
    @02iscringe55 5 лет назад +4177

    officer: is that cocaïne?
    me: nope just some black panther
    ah he died a week ago. rest in peace panther... and WAKANDA FOREVA

  • @watchdog5100
    @watchdog5100 5 лет назад +2035

    He looks like doctor strange with a hint of John wick

    • @chrismyboi1827
      @chrismyboi1827 5 лет назад +40

      I was thinking he looked like John wick

    • @miku_kwurk6416
      @miku_kwurk6416 5 лет назад +3

      Oh

    • @VenousPrawn
      @VenousPrawn 5 лет назад +13

      Dik_Daily all u need to do is shave him correctly boom

    • @anselcantin4735
      @anselcantin4735 5 лет назад +3

      And a half a teaspoon of Clancy brown

    • @gman6558
      @gman6558 5 лет назад +7

      he actually does btw 69 likes

  • @broskydoodle6697
    @broskydoodle6697 5 лет назад +2732

    The quality content I subscribed for.

  • @thefatebringer2046
    @thefatebringer2046 3 года назад +692

    Imagine being at a party and some dude pulls out a lil baggy and starts railing lines of spider mans ashes in front of you 👁👄👁

  • @colleencrotteau7632
    @colleencrotteau7632 5 лет назад +1194

    41:50 I'm sorry sir, but the bag is empty..

    • @clown8931
      @clown8931 5 лет назад +9

      ?

    • @luiscedeno7856
      @luiscedeno7856 5 лет назад +72

      yeet yeet r/woooosh

    • @luiscedeno7856
      @luiscedeno7856 5 лет назад +66

      yeet yeet its an inside joke if youve watched infinity war

    • @clown8931
      @clown8931 5 лет назад +8

      @@luiscedeno7856 I have watched almost every marvel movie

    • @jarettiechroeb1399
      @jarettiechroeb1399 5 лет назад +106

      So completely still that it is invisible to the eye

  • @sealkadoompokemonphd3770
    @sealkadoompokemonphd3770 5 лет назад +414

    Buying dead superheroes usually isn't something one considers when contemplating a balanced universe but this does put a smile on my face

  • @nateevan5922
    @nateevan5922 5 лет назад +822

    "Went around and collected the ashes..."
    So you just
    Went
    To space

    • @jah7615
      @jah7615 5 лет назад +12

      Nate Evan ER keeps suprising us xD

    • @TheJosher967
      @TheJosher967 5 лет назад +7

      Basically

    • @IntroDJ101
      @IntroDJ101 5 лет назад +29

      If he got Groots ash's then he went to Wakanda. How did he find Wakanda?

    • @timewellspent8137
      @timewellspent8137 5 лет назад +29

      He's got rifts remember

    • @nuax6688
      @nuax6688 5 лет назад +18

      Intro DJ 101 Wakanda got opened to the rest of the world

  • @zzandril
    @zzandril 3 года назад +307

    Ingest Nick Fury's ashes, and you will gain the legendary ability of his incredible sarcasm, and you will be able to somehow put a swear word in every other sentence you say.

    • @hamsnadwich6767
      @hamsnadwich6767 3 года назад +25

      Combine that with Gordon Ramsay's ashes and you no longer need to say words you just swear

    • @SolarNawr
      @SolarNawr 3 года назад +7

      @@hamsnadwich6767 damn Australians been ingesting a ton of Gordon Ramsey and nick fury’s ashes

    • @prsly.h6739
      @prsly.h6739 3 года назад +2

      @@SolarNawr no

    • @joeltehguy
      @joeltehguy 3 года назад +7

      Also it gives the n word pass

    • @boo-dl1lx
      @boo-dl1lx 3 года назад +7

      Well until the avengers come back an Nick fury bursts out of your chest like the fucking alien

  • @neolin.99
    @neolin.99 5 лет назад +809

    1950: we will have flying cars in the future
    2019: John Wick becomes a hero ash dealer in his old age

    • @Dragon-yo1wo
      @Dragon-yo1wo 4 года назад +4

      But he looks like John wick with the way his hair is styled

    • @jonahnicholas7373
      @jonahnicholas7373 4 года назад +2

      1950: who the heck is John Wick?

    • @ercanteke7597
      @ercanteke7597 4 года назад

      @@spoon2497 AN*

    • @ercanteke7597
      @ercanteke7597 4 года назад

      @@spoon2497 please when armageddon happens and I have to get your forgiveness to go to heaven can you please forgive me

    • @n4td9
      @n4td9 4 года назад

      Ercan Teke r/woosh

  • @matteoletizio305
    @matteoletizio305 5 лет назад +741

    Avengers come back in Endgame*
    Ash Dealer: but I have you in my briefcase

    • @basicallyvlogs6147
      @basicallyvlogs6147 5 лет назад +38

      I'm Dirty Dan
      Me: *looks at Spider-Man * wait didn’t I snort your ashes

    • @rfractal
      @rfractal 5 лет назад +2

      NO IM DIRTY DAN

    • @ruien12zre
      @ruien12zre 5 лет назад +3

      Hol up

    • @bobanderbaumeister3684
      @bobanderbaumeister3684 5 лет назад +4

      How did you know that 2 months before the movie started in the cinema 👀

    • @nathanperalta5116
      @nathanperalta5116 5 лет назад +11

      Boban der Baumeister we all knew they were coming back

  • @xmaswithguns
    @xmaswithguns 5 лет назад +392

    The ashes of superheroes. That's dark stuff man.... I love it.

  • @Optimizer9000
    @Optimizer9000 3 года назад +174

    Time stamps:
    7:20 is spider man
    15:38 is black panther
    21:40 is doctor strange
    27:00 is groot
    31:00 is star-lord
    37:26 Is scarlet witch
    It’s pretty late, so I’m gonna end it here for now, if anyone wants to reply a continuation, I would be happy!
    Hope this helped a bit!

    • @sarmsgoblin
      @sarmsgoblin 2 года назад +10

      41:50 is drax
      46:44 is falcon
      48:00 is Winter soilder
      49:11 is mantis
      54:50 is Hank pym, Janet van dyne and hope van dyne
      58:42 is Maria hill and Nick Fury
      There you go mate

    • @mr.wizbiz.2917
      @mr.wizbiz.2917 2 года назад +1

      @@sarmsgoblin Thanks a lot man👍

    • @potassium3948
      @potassium3948 2 года назад +1

      Ima steal some of them black panther ashes tomorrow and sell it like this guy right here. Man, business gon’ be good.

    • @bankai1835
      @bankai1835 2 года назад +3

      You never returned…😞

    • @tinabridgelal8438
      @tinabridgelal8438 2 года назад

      Hello 7 months in 2022

  • @Sansri16761
    @Sansri16761 5 лет назад +528

    Is this the deleted opening scene to Endgame?

    • @rocksolid4597
      @rocksolid4597 5 лет назад +15

      A 1-hour movie opening ok

    • @johnkav1
      @johnkav1 5 лет назад +3

      You know what....probably is

    • @rocksolid4597
      @rocksolid4597 5 лет назад

      But not F*cking opening scene

    • @listentocky1
      @listentocky1 5 лет назад

      @Enclave Scouwt that's not editing and mixing vfx shots...guestimating its gonna be 2h 22m

    • @kenjamarticus
      @kenjamarticus 5 лет назад +1

      420 likes now 😏👌🏼

  • @JH20059
    @JH20059 5 лет назад +687

    So that’s how the Mafia works...

    • @ryleestewart982
      @ryleestewart982 5 лет назад +4

      What has pewdiepie started.

    • @theyu4043
      @theyu4043 5 лет назад

      I will make u pop like that

    • @birdnumber4816
      @birdnumber4816 5 лет назад

      This video is in some the vids of the youtuber Clumsy.

    • @UnDragonized
      @UnDragonized 5 лет назад

      Gonna make you pump like that *bass drop*

    • @tatsumi2358
      @tatsumi2358 5 лет назад

      @@ryleestewart982 when it wasnt him who started it

  • @itsnotaphaseitsaromance
    @itsnotaphaseitsaromance 5 лет назад +163

    Dealer: You can spread it on your sandwich...
    Me: Another one bites the dust

  • @Im_Not_AP0LL0
    @Im_Not_AP0LL0 3 года назад +289

    Ephemeral Rift: *sells infinity war ashes*
    endgame: *i'm gonna ruin this man's whole career*

    • @calblack4156
      @calblack4156 3 года назад +19

      ER: I’ll just get Loki’s ashes

    • @MOMOFCJ6
      @MOMOFCJ6 3 года назад +1

      Better idea the power of the dupe

    • @bananabus.
      @bananabus. 3 года назад

      CHAOSSSSSS

    • @philipvigil6313
      @philipvigil6313 2 года назад +6

      Everyone who has the ashes in their body is gonna be a victim to some kind of mortal kombat finisher

    • @tylertapyt1177
      @tylertapyt1177 2 года назад

      The avengers why did I respawn inside somebody's nose

  • @WITSasmr
    @WITSasmr 5 лет назад +231

    Imagine spotting Rift in the background of Endgame...

    • @sholmes4593
      @sholmes4593 5 лет назад +11

      With a broom and a lot of bags... waving at Tony while he returns home, leaving him and Nebula alone.
      Too far from the nearest 7 eleven.

    • @lordofjonkeys5609
      @lordofjonkeys5609 5 лет назад +1

      cubed kaintence
      ................*cough*..........

    • @Christian_509
      @Christian_509 5 лет назад

      Im dead

    • @focalpoint._
      @focalpoint._ 5 лет назад +7

      “Why are you here?”
      “I need to resupply my stocks”

    • @kevinvidoz3004
      @kevinvidoz3004 5 лет назад

      @@lordofjonkeys5609 d

  • @benmcdevitt7036
    @benmcdevitt7036 5 лет назад +2521

    So you’re telling me that Spider-Man is cheaper than weed
    Edit: for the people tryna tell me I’m wrong, in philly an ounce is anywhere from 150 to 190 dollars at least for me

    • @valkaerie8715
      @valkaerie8715 5 лет назад +195

      I want to snort spider man

    • @Deebs.
      @Deebs. 5 лет назад +52

      I mean weeds too good to be cheap

    • @danlwatchvideo
      @danlwatchvideo 5 лет назад +63

      If your paying 110$ an ounce you’re wrong XD

    • @eeljai2048
      @eeljai2048 5 лет назад +42

      So hes telling me they have dna still in them molecular reconstruction has joined chat

    • @Lord_Viscerate
      @Lord_Viscerate 5 лет назад +10

      i spilled my beer, when i read this

  • @markyman8553
    @markyman8553 5 лет назад +841

    Imagine if Avengers Endgame is just this video

  • @Yabois_here
    @Yabois_here 3 года назад +103

    Imagine when everyone comes back and then you just find a body part just lying on your coffee table

    • @sholmes4593
      @sholmes4593 3 года назад +1

      Whose nose is this?! Dx

  • @auv8118
    @auv8118 4 года назад +542

    New Title: Doctor Strange sells his comrades cremated bodies to support his alcoholism after the wars permanent scarring

    • @veronicamorales8093
      @veronicamorales8093 3 года назад +4

      Lmao

    • @platterbudder
      @platterbudder 3 года назад +1

      JESUS

    • @angry_zergling
      @angry_zergling 3 года назад +5

      @@platterbudder Meh...they're all ready dead. Their suffering is over. To the alcoholic who is living - their suffering continues. I would not fault the alcoholic magician who sold the ashes of my corporal form to lessen/delay his/her own suffering while they remained material.
      I'm dead - I don't need my remains (or the ashes thereof). If somebody who is alive can make use of them to better humanity or even lessen their own suffering without increasing the suffering of others...I'm all for it.

    • @thatonekid_gaming8920
      @thatonekid_gaming8920 3 года назад +3

      Bruh. If that were strange, he would be selling himself.

  • @taylorlovec4314
    @taylorlovec4314 5 лет назад +784

    Him: Think about ingesting it safely.
    Everyone else: *Snorts the ashes*

    • @focalpoint._
      @focalpoint._ 4 года назад +28

      *_mIx iT In wiTh sOme of YoUr coFfeE_*

    • @MrWest-lu2kl
      @MrWest-lu2kl 4 года назад +8

      Think about how much that would burn

    • @thunderbird4778
      @thunderbird4778 4 года назад +19

      gonna snort some fuckin drax

    • @DoomSlayer-gj8qb
      @DoomSlayer-gj8qb 3 года назад +4

      @@thunderbird4778 aye yo got any spider man?

    • @Fletchmister77
      @Fletchmister77 3 года назад

      That’s what I was thinking but not really of snorting just the ashes but I am wondering what would happen if you snort dorito dust and what do you gain if you do that diabetes or something like that you tell me

  • @user-mx6rl4wp7o
    @user-mx6rl4wp7o 5 лет назад +849

    aunt may: can i please,, please just give me my nephews ashes,, he’s my family
    er: that will be $110 an ounce these are highly sought after

    • @eggman1346
      @eggman1346 5 лет назад +7

      Omg 😂😂😂

    • @chrischangaming8028
      @chrischangaming8028 5 лет назад +13

      Aunt may: BUT HE'S MY FAMILY!

    • @BlondeonBlonde-demos
      @BlondeonBlonde-demos 5 лет назад +1

      Lol awesome but aunt may turn to dust too

    • @sidneydubose9974
      @sidneydubose9974 5 лет назад +1

      ChickenLovesEatingChicken 😂😂

    • @abbyintheattic
      @abbyintheattic 5 лет назад +14

      When Aunt May finds out her nephew is $110: *"WHAT THE FU-"* 😂
      Only marvel fans will get it 😊

  • @TheDarkAcademy
    @TheDarkAcademy 3 года назад +47

    TIME STAMPS💜
    - 0:00 introduction
    - 7:20 Spider-Man
    - 15:37 Black Panter
    - 21:34 Doctor Strange
    - 26:52 Groot
    - 30:53 Star-Lord
    - 37:23 Scarlet Witch
    - 41:44 Drax
    - 46:37 Falcon
    - 48:00 Winter Soldier/Bucky
    - 49:09 Mantis
    - 54:45 Hank pym, Janet van Dyne, Hope van Dyne
    - 58:39 Maria Hill, Nick Fury
    - 1:00:52 Paybill
    - 1:01:29 ending
    i hope this was right!
    And im Dutch so im not The best in English...
    😂🇳🇱
    Have a nice day!
    Or have a good sleep💜

  • @zoee3296
    @zoee3296 4 года назад +730

    ER: "However you feel like ingesting it..... Safely."
    The comments: "Ah, time to *snort some ash* ."

    • @darthrevan533
      @darthrevan533 4 года назад +5

      Lol

    • @bananaled8994
      @bananaled8994 3 года назад +10

      I won't lie, you are absolutely right.

    • @sansthepun12
      @sansthepun12 3 года назад +6

      If you reeeaaally think about there a very good chance that someone snorted the pelvis of these heroes and I hope I never die around these people

    • @Pixel3572
      @Pixel3572 3 года назад +4

      @@sansthepun12 if any of these people see you die they will instantly cremate you and snort the ashes

    • @thedarklordakathelikelord4268
      @thedarklordakathelikelord4268 2 года назад

      AHAHAH XDXDXD

  • @Angelo-bb8tk
    @Angelo-bb8tk 5 лет назад +334

    “I don’t feel so good”- Insomnia

  • @hawkensanimations2516
    @hawkensanimations2516 5 лет назад +371

    huh? i wonder what snorting spiderman would feel like???
    i think it wouldn't *feel so good* ....... i'll go home

    • @almostliv
      @almostliv 5 лет назад +7

      too soon

    • @GastArts
      @GastArts 5 лет назад +22

      No, go in the corner and think about what you have done

    • @Dante-uk8pr
      @Dante-uk8pr 5 лет назад +24

      Don't go home they won't want u, leave and go far from home

    • @thatfoouvadea
      @thatfoouvadea 5 лет назад +11

      Oh you’re far from... home... hehehe

    • @connorlee3704
      @connorlee3704 5 лет назад +1

      😡

  • @Oxijinn_
    @Oxijinn_ 4 года назад +164

    That black panther one hits hard now
    RIP

    • @fdp478
      @fdp478 3 года назад +31

      @Nikos Zachary yes officer this comment right here

    • @dedotrongames6402
      @dedotrongames6402 3 года назад +3

      @@fdp478 That won't work in 2020.

    • @mattlesnak2387
      @mattlesnak2387 3 года назад +1

      Wakanda forever

    • @fdp478
      @fdp478 3 года назад

      @@dedotrongames6402 it’s 2021

    • @dedotrongames6402
      @dedotrongames6402 3 года назад +1

      @@fdp478 One week ago, it was 2020.

  • @cookiez9979
    @cookiez9979 5 лет назад +577

    Spider-Man: I don’t feel so good
    StarLord: AnOtHeR oNe BiTeS tHe DuSt

    • @HowCouldJu
      @HowCouldJu 4 года назад +21

      Bites za dusto

    • @grapefruit8769
      @grapefruit8769 4 года назад +13

      @Brandon Kochell fuck you

    • @JvnoCore
      @JvnoCore 4 года назад +14

      Killer Queen Daisan no bakadun BITES ZA DUSTO

    • @DehydratedMixx
      @DehydratedMixx 4 года назад +4

      @@JvnoCore i was about to comment the samething, but then I saw your comment

    • @cmacmcd
      @cmacmcd 4 года назад +6

      More like another one becomes the dust

  • @YT_Surfer99
    @YT_Surfer99 5 лет назад +365

    I took some of the Winter Soldier and my arm fell off wtf

    • @sonkopresents5901
      @sonkopresents5901 5 лет назад +16

      Hash Ketchum don‘t worry, as he said, its just temporary

    • @oogabooga4233
      @oogabooga4233 5 лет назад +3

      Shit just flies back and reattaches itselg

    • @jasonliang7419
      @jasonliang7419 5 лет назад +1

      It's a side effect

  • @Kr0gr
    @Kr0gr 5 лет назад +1367

    I’ll take 20

    • @asmrtraveler3385
      @asmrtraveler3385 5 лет назад +13

      ill take 100... i need it for a science project... *sniff sniff* if you know nose what i mean

    • @noreepicardoman6143
      @noreepicardoman6143 5 лет назад +3

      @@asmrtraveler3385 Welp.. You are gonna get them superpowers
      ya know

    • @delicious_toes6931
      @delicious_toes6931 5 лет назад +17

      I’LL TAKE YOUR ENTIRE STOCK

    • @darksungwyndolin9977
      @darksungwyndolin9977 5 лет назад +3

      Super cheap prices for superpowers, practically losing money by not buying it

    • @scaredstar9127
      @scaredstar9127 5 лет назад +2

      @@darksungwyndolin9977 if yah not making any dollars, your not making any cents

  • @RoverDover
    @RoverDover 3 года назад +63

    Me: sees Wanda's ashes are up for sale
    Also me: * ILL TAKE YOUR ENTIRE STOCK"

    • @brunoamaya342
      @brunoamaya342 3 года назад

      Fr

    • @ztoxinface5258
      @ztoxinface5258 3 года назад

      Simp alert

    • @axerbadel953
      @axerbadel953 3 года назад

      Don't lie you want to be a simp just like the rest of us

    • @loopTSB
      @loopTSB 2 года назад +1

      @@carlosemanuelmartins1305 you could play god with her abilities and what you think of is pooping gold

  • @niftyd123
    @niftyd123 5 лет назад +624

    Imagine your snorting their ashes and then meanwhile captain marvel and the other avengers undo it.
    So while your snorting the avengers *they just burst out of your nose*

    • @fionna294
      @fionna294 5 лет назад +34

      jesus

    • @squidking_
      @squidking_ 5 лет назад +86

      Me: man my water bottle feels a lot heavier than usual
      Tom Holland: *muffled yelling*

    • @iamnotarobot3255
      @iamnotarobot3255 5 лет назад +31

      squidking what if peter was now a liquid because you mix him with your water.

    • @squidking_
      @squidking_ 5 лет назад +28

      @@iamnotarobot3255 how did you make it EVEN WORSE

    • @squidking_
      @squidking_ 5 лет назад +7

      Vincent Foley or he has peanut butter in his bloodstream now

  • @theshittiestposter6853
    @theshittiestposter6853 5 лет назад +1750

    Nick Fury and T'challa have the most powerful ashes, because if you mix it with your tea then you gain the ability to say the n-word.

  • @swastikaneo8965
    @swastikaneo8965 5 лет назад +63

    Dude went to another planet to get spidey...... Respect.
    You could have brought tony home

  • @naterk9460
    @naterk9460 3 года назад +74

    "Oh no, this is not a scam."
    Seems legit.

  • @Danthast
    @Danthast 4 года назад +806

    Imagine they could only bring a quarter of the population back because this guy just kept selling the ashes

    • @sholmes4593
      @sholmes4593 3 года назад +46

      Bucky comes back, but without arms at all.

    • @yoguz3283
      @yoguz3283 3 года назад +27

      Black panther comes back but he’s white

    • @oogabooga9546
      @oogabooga9546 3 года назад +17

      @@yoguz3283 FINALLY, the SUPERIOR black panther 😍☺️

    • @marimarianneanne
      @marimarianneanne 3 года назад +32

      @@oogabooga9546 wtf my guy

    • @oogabooga9546
      @oogabooga9546 3 года назад +8

      @@marimarianneanne 😎

  • @thereishaironyourscreen2991
    @thereishaironyourscreen2991 5 лет назад +1193

    If it were a real dealer I bet they would just scrape up some random dudes ash and pass it off as an avenger

  • @inudude15
    @inudude15 5 лет назад +164

    I have decided this dealer's crew is just a gang of Roombas and I won't be convinced otherwise.

  • @makarovbalaski4260
    @makarovbalaski4260 3 года назад +122

    … do an avengers collab with Fred’s voice as Thor, you as Dr strange, Blissful zen as captain America and Gibi as Wanda

  • @lucbrisebois767
    @lucbrisebois767 5 лет назад +591

    Mr. Rift I do feel so good.

    • @lucbrisebois767
      @lucbrisebois767 5 лет назад +8

      3.3k views and 3 dislikes. I guess three guys don’t like infinity war.

    • @oryxslayer0296
      @oryxslayer0296 5 лет назад

      *wind* *noises* *intensify*

    • @benzass95
      @benzass95 5 лет назад +1

      *collects dust* another one for the store

    • @Short_Potato
      @Short_Potato 5 лет назад +1

      @@lucbrisebois767 *better hope no rule 34 writers read that there comment*

    • @barnijks1826
      @barnijks1826 5 лет назад

      he will sell u too man...

  • @redsoulheart5040
    @redsoulheart5040 5 лет назад +429

    *See's the Title*
    It's too soon man... I'll take Spiderman's ashes please

    • @chemicalpk2870
      @chemicalpk2870 5 лет назад

      @@vegardost you actually couldn't. not all of the guardians died to his "snap". i forget the green lady name but she died from thanos pushing her off that soul mountain. That's how she died and that's how he retrieved the soul stone.

    • @NZXT_Nomad
      @NZXT_Nomad 5 лет назад

      @@chemicalpk2870 gamora

    • @willbrinkert0032
      @willbrinkert0032 5 лет назад

      I think it’s never too soon for a good joke

    • @casualcgrain7835
      @casualcgrain7835 5 лет назад +3

      @@chemicalpk2870 I mean some people would be very interested in obtaining Gamora's body =l

    • @shawnamoore6759
      @shawnamoore6759 5 лет назад

      almost the same as my reaction, except for me it was more like
      "That's dark dude😥....but I'll take Dr. Strange if you've got him." lol

  • @tan-tan-tanan
    @tan-tan-tanan 5 лет назад +666

    Imagine if E.R. somehow acquires the Infinity Stones; does he intend to sell it to you merely for profit? Or are his intentions, for the success of this sale, inclined to protect the universe, the rifts and the individuals residing within them?

    • @milkmaker369
      @milkmaker369 5 лет назад +24

      Sophia Salido he’d get stoned

    • @cullenl2508
      @cullenl2508 5 лет назад +4

      He can just make money with the stones

    • @ForgetfulHatter
      @ForgetfulHatter 5 лет назад +17

      gives everyone tingles with some of those awesome Infinity gauntlet sounds

    • @THEJustinOfAllTime
      @THEJustinOfAllTime 5 лет назад +6

      @@cullenl2508 that would cause inflation, creating money in any sense of the term creates inflation as the currency is devalued. So thats a bad idea.
      >inb4 "you must be fun at parties"

    • @cullenl2508
      @cullenl2508 5 лет назад +7

      @@THEJustinOfAllTime it hardly would considering it's just one person doing it.

  • @icgmommy87
    @icgmommy87 3 года назад +30

    Imagine at the end he just says: “ well now that we’ve Finished...You’ll be joining my Collection. *Snaps* “

  • @newfuture85
    @newfuture85 5 лет назад +587

    An ounce of groot, hell yeah
    Officer: Is that coke?
    Me: *ripping a line* No it’s groot

    • @NeoMetaI
      @NeoMetaI 4 года назад +5

      Sir that’s white

    • @MindsMatterMotivation
      @MindsMatterMotivation 4 года назад

      Snort not ripping

    • @eterna748
      @eterna748 4 года назад +4

      Plot twist you becone a living tree

    • @lightt4744
      @lightt4744 4 года назад +5

      Groot sounds like a drug tho...

    • @Michael_Sangworth
      @Michael_Sangworth 4 года назад +2

      *starts growing branches out of every orifice after snorting 50 grams of groot* WE are groot

  • @spyguy888
    @spyguy888 5 лет назад +94

    Me: Uncle E I don’t feel so good
    Ephemeral Rift: 💰💰💰

    • @saxust
      @saxust 5 лет назад +2

      Gotta get paid off of dust somehow. Your sacrifice is much appreciated

    • @SlouchVeryRare
      @SlouchVeryRare 5 лет назад +1

      @Cory Crane Nope...hes saying that once we lost our bois, he could sell their disintegrated dust particles.

  • @LoneTailProductions
    @LoneTailProductions 5 лет назад +736

    Oh man. I cant wait to snort Dr. Strange. That'll be the BEST trip ever
    Edit: I didn't even think I'd get 1 like.

  • @stickycheetos1870
    @stickycheetos1870 3 года назад +62

    imagine watching a guy at the beach put sand in a bunch of random bags with superhero names while laughing at himself.

  • @shkooni
    @shkooni 5 лет назад +462

    My grandmas ashes are missing. You guys know where they went?

    • @sjreads7235
      @sjreads7235 5 лет назад +36

      I snorted them to be able to climb up walls

    • @killernyancat8193
      @killernyancat8193 5 лет назад +10

      @@sjreads7235 grandma...not grandpa

    • @relgames6080
      @relgames6080 5 лет назад +11

      @@killernyancat8193 did you assume spider it's gender

    • @thomashuntley827
      @thomashuntley827 5 лет назад +2

      Arent they the ones relabeled drax

    • @Flegado
      @Flegado 5 лет назад +8

      The magical superpower that is arthritis

  • @smbz-gcommunityhub
    @smbz-gcommunityhub 5 лет назад +248

    This is all I could ever ash for.

  • @ASMRFlux
    @ASMRFlux 5 лет назад +190

    The stuff you come up with for your videos never ceases to amaze me haha

  • @CMV510
    @CMV510 3 года назад +80

    Imagine how the villains' would sound.
    Someone: "You got the Proxima Midnight?"
    Some other person: "I'll trade that for some Ebony Maw."

    • @EdenOfShmeeden
      @EdenOfShmeeden 2 года назад

      I'll trade you for my black dwarf for that

    • @averex8258
      @averex8258 Год назад

      You guys want some red skull?

  • @anameiveyettoknow8252
    @anameiveyettoknow8252 5 лет назад +465

    I’ll take 5 grams of premium Hawkeye wife and children.

  • @ramonrod9952
    @ramonrod9952 5 лет назад +314

    Why do I feel that this character is making a negotiation with the collector?

    • @jgarcia2273
      @jgarcia2273 5 лет назад +12

      Im pretty sure he’s talking to a patient at the Sanitarium.

    • @3goblinsinacoat285
      @3goblinsinacoat285 5 лет назад +1

      @@jgarcia2273 Yeah but who isn't though

    • @GregSierra
      @GregSierra 5 лет назад +3

      The collector died though :/

    • @DarkDingo7
      @DarkDingo7 5 лет назад +2

      @@GregSierra oh shit, when?

    • @yumachinasake2789
      @yumachinasake2789 5 лет назад

      Dark Dingo please tell me that’s a god da*b joke lol

  • @sushiowo5267
    @sushiowo5267 5 лет назад +919

    Plot twist!
    *Thanos is just an anti-vax mom collecting healing crystals*

  • @rustlerv6549
    @rustlerv6549 3 года назад +84

    "She (Scarlett Witch) is actually a Hydra experiment... Hail Hydra by the way"

  • @josiahmaxwell2316
    @josiahmaxwell2316 5 лет назад +185

    Ill take 25 grams of "Mr Stark, i dont feel so good"

  • @Orokovet
    @Orokovet 5 лет назад +166

    Applaud this man... he travelled all the way to titan for spider-man’s dust 🚶🏻‍♂️

    • @normanultraviolence6465
      @normanultraviolence6465 5 лет назад +6

      Jake Rayburn without even throwing a glance to Tony or Nebula. Do NOT applaud

  • @oscarstenderup
    @oscarstenderup 5 лет назад +65

    “...Ingesting it safely”
    *”WHAT DO YOU MEAN I CANT SNORT SUPERHERO ASHES?!?!”*

  • @joemama6754
    @joemama6754 3 года назад +66

    Plot twist: those are the ashes of every orphanage he’s burnt down

  • @Powerzebra86422
    @Powerzebra86422 5 лет назад +877

    Nobody:
    RUclips Recommendations: The Infinity War ashes Dealer

  • @gunnar8279
    @gunnar8279 5 лет назад +874

    Spider-Man + Black Panther = Black Man

    • @Hyerlord
      @Hyerlord 5 лет назад +83

      Or Spider Panther. Either way, both are bad news XD

    • @eeljai2048
      @eeljai2048 5 лет назад +30

      Wierd Flex but ok

    • @thegamerphrog
      @thegamerphrog 5 лет назад +16

      Black Spider

    • @markiss69
      @markiss69 5 лет назад +7

      Spider panther

    • @nothankyou4269
      @nothankyou4269 5 лет назад +23

      Black Spider Panther Man

  • @zealousgd
    @zealousgd 5 лет назад +477

    Professor Hulk: *brings back the fallen*
    Ephemeral Rift: Am I a joke to you?

    • @darandomdog
      @darandomdog 5 лет назад +5

      Professor hulk: yes and your a creep you littarly took dead people and you sold them

    • @Halalhurricane
      @Halalhurricane 4 года назад +4

      wait so if you bur or snort you will explode or have a pet human

    • @royalthedragonslayer6427
      @royalthedragonslayer6427 4 года назад +5

      Wouldn’t they all be HORRIBLY deformed since he’s taking their arms and hair and face and stuff and selling them?

    • @madnessb8305
      @madnessb8305 4 года назад +2

      Royal Thedragonslayer let us not think of that 😨😳

    • @odysseusinspace9704
      @odysseusinspace9704 4 года назад +1

      Royal Thedragonslayer The Infinity Stones don't exactly care about conservation of mass.

  • @zantanzara
    @zantanzara 3 года назад +49

    Whoever ends up buying all of Wanda would be unstoppable.

  • @deadpanman1649
    @deadpanman1649 5 лет назад +133

    Even funnier than the title is the fact that this is actually really good ASMR.

  • @Koolers20
    @Koolers20 5 лет назад +75

    So you’re telling me Rift is in the MCU?? This does put a smile on my face

  • @ASMRShortbread
    @ASMRShortbread 5 лет назад +80

    Your ideas never cease to amaze me.

  • @maddoxp.3586
    @maddoxp.3586 4 года назад +96

    R.I.P. Chadwick Boseman ❤

    • @calblack4156
      @calblack4156 3 года назад +4

      RIP

    • @boi4841
      @boi4841 3 года назад +1

      Wakanda forever my brother may you Rest In Peace. He brought entertainment and awesomeness to every kid and every adult while fight cancer. Fucking legend man. Fucking legend.

    • @flawtism1271
      @flawtism1271 3 года назад

      May he rest in piece

  • @gravitylul171
    @gravitylul171 5 лет назад +403

    Er: *picking up Spider-Man's ashes*
    _Tony Stark has left the chat_

  • @apoluke72
    @apoluke72 5 лет назад +273

    You should have gone for the headphones

  • @regencyjoker7623
    @regencyjoker7623 5 лет назад +727

    Endgame spoiler: Aqua man drowns

  • @madnorb8810
    @madnorb8810 3 года назад +37

    Imagine snorting up a super hero and when hulk snaps his fingers...
    You hear a rip from your stomach

  • @LiquidSoapDrinker
    @LiquidSoapDrinker 5 лет назад +318

    Boutta snort me a line of some groot

    • @BabyItsSunny
      @BabyItsSunny 5 лет назад +1

      THAT'S RUDE TO GROOT

    • @LiquidSoapDrinker
      @LiquidSoapDrinker 5 лет назад +7

      Keep talking and spider man is next

    • @BabyItsSunny
      @BabyItsSunny 5 лет назад

      @@LiquidSoapDrinker idgaf about Spider Man, take that bitch. But you'll never get to my man

    • @LiquidSoapDrinker
      @LiquidSoapDrinker 5 лет назад +1

      ... star lord is next

    • @BabyItsSunny
      @BabyItsSunny 5 лет назад

      @@LiquidSoapDrinker He's ugly, NEXT

  • @tobymowat5905
    @tobymowat5905 4 года назад +198

    Imagine getting groot's ashes mixed up with plant food, then feeding him to your flowers😂

    • @thinginground5179
      @thinginground5179 3 года назад +3

      plant food? Thats a thing..?

    • @DwayneDoom
      @DwayneDoom 3 года назад +6

      @@thinginground5179 Yes.

    • @jaras8744
      @jaras8744 3 года назад

      Basically soil

    • @virtualhugman5718
      @virtualhugman5718 2 года назад

      And drinking the plant food

    • @laughingjack4502
      @laughingjack4502 11 месяцев назад

      Your whole garden just:
      I am Poppy
      I am Rosemary
      Hey I am Rose
      (Deep voiced) I AM F*CKING DANDELION !

  • @Ivan-fn8bf
    @Ivan-fn8bf 5 лет назад +137

    I'll take your entire stock

  • @frgal1336
    @frgal1336 3 года назад +76

    “You’re familiar with the villain referred to as thanos, and how he acquired these mystical stones?
    The, K̶i̶d̶n̶e̶y̶ infinity stones?”