How To Dissolve Social Anxiety And Connect With Anyone
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- Опубликовано: 22 июл 2024
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Original clips:
• How To Become CHARISMA...
• Russell Brand Brings t...
Today is a very exciting day, because someone who I consider to be one of the most charismatic people in the world, Russell Brand, just made a video on how to be charismatic!
It's going to be very interesting to see if we have commonalities in how we see charisma :-)
⏰TIMESTAMPS⏰
0:00 - Intro.
0:56 - #1: Be present in the moment.
1:58 - #2: Not everyone will like you, no matter what.
2:39 - #3: Don't expect anything from the interaction.
4:33 - #4: Use purposeful misinterpretation.
4:58 - #5: Take advantage of the "yes, and…" technique.
5:59 - #6: Don't skip the fundamental principles.
6:43 - #7: Don't just treat the symptom, address the core problem.
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#RussellBrand #CharismaOnCommand
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Dissolve fear by removing the expectation of getting something from the interaction...
Best advice ever!!
So true.
Can you explain it for me more pls.
@@Noor-sl5ep like imagine talking with a woman at the bar, u should not expect to get her number or expect to get laid. Just go with the flow. U get it? Or do you want another example?
It's good
But how to do it when you are in sale and you need to hit the quota?
Some people have a great energy to them precisely because they don’t need anything from anybody.
beyondego vibes
they ve realised they don't need anyone , which is everyone's case . just need to know it
True
Very true!
@beyondego im assuming its the positive influence they indirectly have on people
I tried being more like Russel but accidentally took his interview with Ellen literally. Thank you for breaking this down cause I’ve been so confused why everyone gets upset when I sit on their groin.
Why would you want to be more like Russel brand? The guy's a jackass and a moron.
Mr. John *Butt* I think its better to be yourself man don't try to be someone else
CJ What It’s a matter of knowing when and how to apply these tips according to the outcome you want of any given social interaction (e.x.: persuading people, making people laugh, making a good first impression, trying to get someone to open up to you, etc.)
@@JimboRustles Yeah, he seems kind of obnoxious to me. I don't really feel the supposed charisma.
JimboRustles - you’d be surprised at the number of women who fancy him. When he first hit our screens I was perplexed at the number of seasoned female journalists who would admit this is print in first rate magazines or newspapers. It’s similar to the amount of women I have met who have confessed to finding Mick Jagger really sexy (in his prime in the ‘70s or ‘80s.) There’s no accounting for women.
Being present is a skill too and it comes in varying degrees. It's totally fine to be only a "little present" at first and work with that!
And you can practice it on your own!
OH NOOOOOO!!! Most people agree that my vids are the worst on RUclips. I agree to disagree. Please agree to disagree with the haters, dear im
@@chr1staki blah blah blah oh stfu!
Being present when you haven't chipped away enough at your neuroticism can lead to a panic attack, or even an emotional breakdown. That's a very authentic expression of self, and you would definitely get the entire room's attention, but few people are skilled enough to take you out of that state and into a more positive one. Not to mention that not everyone is well-intentioned, and thus being present can sometimes be not safe.
You still want to be present, but taking baby steps is easier on the circulatory system :D
@@TheOzumat That is true... but it is also very very difficult to get into such a state too early.. most people have a healthy portion of "fear of the unknown" that prevents that from happening =)
Russel brand is ageing like a fine wine
Building charisma can take some time, but always remember that Rome wasn’t built in one day. Whether you choose to keep improving every day or you choose not to, will decide your greatness.
that was captivating as hell
This channel has taught me more than my parents ever did. Started watching beginning of my sophomore year of college and one year later I can honestly say I have a fulfilling social life. Thanks for the content!
I guess parents are just kids having kids.. they don't have all the answers/ steps to help us grow up. All they can do is their best and that will come from what they were taught etc.. it's all a solo journey my friend!
Even if your parents were perfect, you'd have to find your own path in life. I feel that a parent is there to help guide you along your path, but it is your path. If they define and do everything for you, it's a complete missed opportunity to have guard rails while you try to find your feet.
I have a third little one on the way. For me, it is about learning from mistakes. Smart people learn from their mistakes, wise people learn from the mistakes of others. They can listen to me and gain wisdom to avoid some of life's hardships or they can learn the hard way to get wisdom. The point is to gain wisdom and enact it in a meaningful way. It is useless to gain additional objective reality truth/knowledge if you have not incorporated what you already have.
I was raised without much meaningful input from my parents. It was enough my parents didn't further the abuse they had from their parents. I hope to further break that cycle and show my kiddos love. Even though I will mess up in countless ways, I hope I'm better for my kids. At the very least, they will have a father that shows them love.
how do u implement it? can u talk more about ur journey pls? Im kinda stuck and don't know where to start
@@Hayatiiiiiiiiiii Can you be more specific? Are you referring to me or someone else?
ho is your life now ? did you improve yourself or you are still at the same point ?
What Being present by Russel brand means, is MISUNDERSTOOD in this video:
Being present is not about trying to get something
You CANNOT be present while trying to be charismatic / funny / attractive
Being present is not about trying to be focused on the other person
Being Present IS about letting go of your desire of approval, safety and comfort
Being present IS about letting go of your desire to make the other person like you
If this change happens THEN the metathoughts in your head ( "is this conversation going well?" "What funny thing can I say?" "Does the audience like me?" etc..) will stop and your mind will naturally focus on the thing that is present. You will become funny, empathic, and happy
I have those kinda thoughts very often. And I know I shouldn't take it too seriously..And tho I'm able to make the other person happy K fell unsatisfied with how I am. Any advice?
@@Pacificatorrr It is natural for us to enjoy making someone happy, but you maybe do it because you are afraid of them being angry with you, or disappointed, etc. But this fear is just holding you back, people have to be angry and disapointed with you from time to time. Some of them will do it for selfish reasons and then you will have to let them go, since they don't respect you. Other will have valid reasons for their discontent. You don't have to fear those persons, since they are not going to reject you, they just want to make you understand something, so that your relationship improves. If you keep your fears and try to never anger or disapoint others, you will never realize that you can trust some of you friends and family and that you don't have to be afraid. They will even prefer, when you start to act naturally, to not hide aspects of your personally, to feel confident in your opinion and emotions.
@@Pieherto Thank You So Much Brother! I tried being myself from that aspect today..And Ik it's a gradual process. So I'm just going to take it slow, will try and stay like this. I had been waiting for your reply. Thanks Again Mahn! Everything you told, is really true! And I do get the point :)
@@Pacificatorrr healing your childhood traumas is very very important too. literally what causes us to have these thoughts that are intrusive. Get into shadow work
Wtf did you say
I saw Russel Brand live doing a talk at the Cambridge Union - I've never seen someone be able to hold an audience's attention as well as him. Definition of charisma!
4:11
Fat Spider-Man: hey
4:14
Fat Spider-Man: ight Imma head out
I've noticed when I'm completely present and not in my head is when I say the best jokes and I express myself most easily. But it's definitely not easy to get to be present all the time.
how do you get to that state?
@@ecstasy3692 practice. When you are comfortable enough in social situations you stop thinking about every step and trust that you'll instinctually say the right things. And then you just focus on the contents of the conversation
@@tobortwo3697 so just practice staying present in the contents of the conversation? my mind keeps wandering off and being scared of how people perceive me though
@@ecstasy3692 the more people you talk to, the less you'll worry about it. It can be really helpful to talk to people in a situation where it doesn't matter what they think, like checking out at the store
Same
One important thing to remember is that it's a marathon, not a sprint. No one becomes great overnight. You got this 💪🏼
Thank you btw for inspiring me to get into self development and hopefully inspire others too 🙏🏼
Yes being great at anything takes some work and time to build up!!
@Jon Boy Yeah because they have to, duh.
@Jon Boy not at all......for me, girls are dieing to have conversation and meet new guys/people....
You got this.
So quarantine just ended and I personally completely forgot how to even talk to people this guy's videos are life saving
This video needs an update in 2023
Waiting for the usual "i feel like an alien trying to be human" comment
😆😅
U right
I feel like an alien trying to be human.
I'm not from earth. I'm from outer space.
What if we, aliens, gather and just speak our alien language freely.
The only advice for charisma I need is from the fat spiderman at 4:12. Absolute chad.
Good spot my guy!
Came here to see if anyone else noticed 😂
Watching this 15 minutes after I woke up, I did a double-take a went back myself to see if I saw that right. Aha, sneaky bastards! ;)
I saw the fat Spiderman but didn't realize it appeared only once. What does it mean?
Oh good, thought i imagined that lol
Is no one going to address the picture of thicc Spiderman in the background at 4:12
Hahah well observed ❤️😂😂
Yeah, I noticed that too. And its not like that the rest of the video, weird.
😂😂😂
@@RazgrizAce67 omg yeah wtf
There is always a commenter like you who finds the good details for the rest of us👍🏼
He's really become a thoughtful and interesting person as he's grown into adulthood.
Not expecting anything from the other person sounds very good to me. I immediately thought of when doing that consciously, how lighthearted this would make the conversation, and how much more at peace you'll be yourself.
Thank you for another helpful video.
I appreciate you talking to the camera more rather than voice over some random clips. i think it’s makes the video more grounded and helps a viewer connect the worlds coming from their headphones or speakers to a face and will help people remember the advice we’re hearing. keep up the great work
Have you seen the study that found that certain people tend to set emotions while other people absorb them? They had strangers state their emotional state and then go sit silently in a room with a stranger and then report how they felt after. Those that were emotional senders had the same mood coming out as going in but those that were receivers changed after simply sitting in the same room as the other person! Very interesting stuff!
Can you post the link?
Where did you got that from?
please post a link!
Almost seems like the narcissist and codependent styles of relating. Narcissists are typically in their bubbles and codependents are expert “empaths,” meaning that they soak up energy like sponges and are hyper vigilant to danger.
TBF regardless of what you think of Russell and how these allegations end against him, this vid is not about how likable he is, it's about his charm. And you'll travel far & wide to meet a person so charismatic...for better and for worse
~Being present in the moment~
This is literally the skill that you cultivate thought mindfulness meditation. Can't recommend this enough, it has helped so much with my social anxiety, I just let go of all the thoughts and emotions that would normally distract me when interacting with other people, making me more present. It's amazing.
being present means being actually there not in your mind but actually listening to the person and paying attention effectively giving your time to that person
After watching some of your videos, I realize I'm more charismatic than I think I am. Gotta work on being nervous/anxious around new people but I'll get there
So glad you're showing some love to Eckhart Tolle; his stuff was legit life-changing for me. Tolle's style of "spirituality" is less mystical and more a method of logical thinking that primes you to handle whatever life throws at you. Reading The Power of Now pretty much cured me of my clinical depression and anxiety, and A New Earth was great for helping me let go of things like bad habits and addictions. I saw a fantastic video recently where Russell Brand interviews Tolle that's really worth a search.
I've learned a lot socially over the past year or so. Best advice I can give is live fully in the moment. Yes that's hard to do at first. What helped me was starting a routine to take reality checks. Be more mindful. Notice the thoughts that pass through your head. It's okay to embrace them, just don't hold onto them. If you notice your mind start to drift in conversation bring your attention back to the person talking. Body movements are important too, especially if you're an introvert. You're more likely to be fidgeting if you're uncomfortable in a conversation. Another thing that really helped me was starting to see others as myself. When you take away the ego we're all humans looking for affection trying our best in life. The only thing different are perspectives which are created by past events which essentially makes you who you are. I'm nowhere near where I'd like to be on my social journey, but I do believe I have made a lot of progress.
I think the more important note is when he says charisma is different for everyone. Russell’s charisma is not that easy for just anyone to behold. I’ve known people like Russell, extremely witty, off the cuff people. I’m into astrology, I know not everyone is, but this is a very Gemini thing in my experience. No matter how much I could try, I just don’t have that spontaneous wit. My brain processes conversations and exchanges in a different way. However, people have always called me charming. What it boils down to for me, is that I’m friendly, present, genuinely caring, playful, and naturally quirky. For me, I can’t even hide my offbeat personality if I try. But as you’ve covered in other videos, trying to hide that is the worst thing you can do. If you embrace it, it becomes your superpower.
~Yes!!!~Well said!!!~
Nice breakdown especially on being present with someone else with NO agenda and being self aware of your own thoughts, tendencies and emotions
Love Russell Brand. He has such an amazing way with words and is one of the most charismatic spiritual celebrities IMO.
Wonderful to see you and hear from you again. Blessings and light. Thank you!
That was one of the best ad spots I’ve ever seen on RUclips. Very well done!
Going on a lunch date on Wednesday so I appreciate the last minute tips lol
Good luck king
Jambone Thank you I appreciate that
good luck :) hope it goes well
I've never dated someone myself but I can give you some advice: take a deep breath and be open and present in the possibilities of the moment with you date. Know that even without ending together you will still be you. Above all, be a good listener and expose your genuine real character, and luck might come to you.
If you sit on the lap, make sure to start at the knee and then work your way up to the groin.
Since you did post requesting tips, I assume you're nervous or self conscience that it won't go well. Much to one of the points of the video, do not go into it with expectations to receive something from the other person. Be a whole person yourself without needing the validation/companionship from the other. You WANT the other person to be in your life; you do not NEED the other person in your life.
If you do not feel this way, try to work on building yourself up first. Work on something that has meaning for you and have purpose in your life. If you are not on a path towards that goal, get on it. If you are on that path, keep going. A quiet self respect builds when you know you aim at something worthy and are working towards it.
And really, the other person agreed to the date! You have already shown enough promise to someone else for them to be interested in more. You get to find out if there's something there from which to build.
I like to ask my self what useful purpose does this emotion serve. If you are feeling nervous, put that energy towards making sure you have all your stuff together beforehand. Double and triple check to make sure you set yourself up for success. If you feel like you're doing too much, you probably are. If you're not sure, ask a friend. Most importantly though, when the date starts, trust that you have done everything you can for this to succeed and put those emotions to bed.
It's going to be awkward at times. You're going to mess up things. Having two people explore the possibilities between each other is one of the most messy things we can ever do. Allow yourself the space to mess up. Smile, laugh, poke fun or whatever at the mistakes.
Some practical things: Be nice to the wait staff. Give a genuine not obviousness compliment (bonus points if it's something they can control or time/effort is spent!). Eat something small beforehand so the date is about the person, not the food.
Allow yourself the possibility that even if you do everything 100% correctly, the other person may just not be the right fit. If this is a common pattern in your life of dates with no follow up, there may be something to work on but know you are never a lost cause! I would think that if you normally go on dates and things go well, you wouldn't be asking for tips, but if this is your first time or if things normally go well and it doesn't this time, it could just be the other person.
At the very least, enjoy yourself. Even if the date is dreadful and nothing ever comes from it, give yourself the positivity that you got the chance to go on it. Someone saw something and wanted to know more. That is no small feat in and of itself!
Enjoy!!
My only fear in social situations that I used to have, is when speaking to someone who is very shy and they don’t say much. My strategy is to start talking about food and invariably the shy person will start to contribute to the conversation. Problem solved.
I like the way 1 is phrased. "Be present" is a better way that I always say 'be authentic' because it implies a lot of key stuff. Being present means you need to be authentic, be aware, be empathetic, & be appreciative of the moment.
Enjoy your videos, and think you have one of the most pleasing faces I've ever seen. I feel happy when I look at you, and extra happy when you smile.
Thanks for the hard work mister :) every couple months I go thru a slump and seem to drift back to your channel. Then I binge watch and remember I'm not completely inept
Read both books. Especially “a new world” changed my life.
Happy to have you back Charlie, do tell Ben he did great. Just wish there was more variety in the videos he covered.
"A new Earth" changed my life. I love how in step your journalism is. Please keep doing what you are doing. --and I agree, some of Eckhart Tolle's messages are cringe-worthy, but the man has some solid things to say, and I think we could actually have a "New Earth" if we all listened a little more closely. Our ego's are what destroy our "charisma" ...as unlikely as that may sound. The book paints a beautiful picture of what I believe you [and Russel Brand] are talking about. Listen, absorb, take someone in for who they are, and not what they can do for you. This is how the world should be, love, acceptance, less unnecessary complexity. Hats off.
Ekhat Tolle's "In The Presence of A Great Mystery" is the best. I have 27 Tolle CDs. I used to listen to them over and over when I was a truck driver.
Somehow I knew you were going to mention Tolle when you were about to mention a book. Surprisingly practical.
I loved this commentary style video 🙌🏻 really enforces some core things I’ve heard on this channel in the past :)
Great video and yes being present in the moment and listening to what other people say is so important!!
Another Zen author i recommend in Brad Warner. His books have been life changing for me and i think are some of the realest hot takes the Zen tradition and how it can be applied to your life.
A video on how to turn anxiety into confidence over video call would be helpful during these times.
The thing about spirituality is.. most people think it’s mumbo jumbo because their are things that have not yet been explained scientifically.. however this is changing. Just because we do not believe in something, it does not mean it’s not there. We can profusely refuse to believe in gravity but it affects us regardless.. the same with spirituality.
Great video Charlie
Love your vids man, helps think about myself more often. There still so much to me then I ever expected. Thanks *My* man, keep doing the work! ❤️
I've learnt a ton from your analysis, thank you so much for the content you make! This is priceless stuff.
Russel is a gem, he is so articulate and charismatic, his videos are almost like slam poetry and his life experiences also provided him with countless experiences he can convey to us.
Also, one of my biggest issues in conversation is not listening properly. I merely wait my turn to talk while the other person is talking and I hate it, I know most people do this unconsciously but it's one thing I have tried to become more aware of and fix, but I haven't seen much improvement, can you make a video on active listening or some exercises on how to gradually fix this behavior?
People’s energy is called their Aura - at least that’s what it’s called in Sweden! I have a dear friend who just spreads calm, collected, cozy energy... and I love everything about it! 🥰
I found those Eckhart Tolle books in Nov 2020 and ever since my life has turned around dramatically. Finding yourself and being present is the absolute key to charisma. I went from being an "I hate myself, I hate people" person to an "I love everyone!" person almost overnight. Anyone who is reading this: BUY THOSE BOOKS. I had the mental breakthrough of a lifetime and learned how to stay in the moment. Once you master that, everything else will get better around you naturally.
Great video thanks for always keeping me coming back for more💯👍🏽
Years ago when I was growing up in school, I would essentially try to emulate Russell‘s mannerisms, speech patterns, and energy, wearing Russell like a suit of confidence armour. I’m English and have a somewhat similar accent and so I thought this is all I would need in life.
This worked quite well at first. After a while it got increasingly more difficult to do this and it’s because I realised I was being completely disingenuous to who I am. Nearly 10 years later, I feel far more affective being more confident but on my own terms, using my personality, and being truthful to myself. It lasts longer and it feels far more genuine.
Im meeting an online friend irl very soon. I definitely needed this. Thanks so much!
good luck!
How’d it go
Would you guys consider doing a video on someone who thinks they have charisma but does not? Someone who wants to come across, fun, interesting, energetic magnetic or whatever but actually is perceived by others to be fake or cringy. Thanks again and keep up the good work.
Great video and great content in general. Thanks for all your hard work, i appreciate it and you :-)
Wow i just noticed you guys have 4 milion subscribers, congratz! I've been watching u guys sinds 500k :).
I love book recommendations from this channel
Can you make a series focusing on current or former WWE wrestlers who are possibly the most charismatic people on Earth the likes of CM Punk, The Rock, John Cena, Chris Jericho etc..
I like how happy you look watching these videos
Just sending a shout to all those that are here trying to better themselves, we will make it, we will be charismatic
what i always thought this channel needed was more pole vaulting fails- excellent work!!! lol
I never knew how much I needed it in my life until now.
Thank you so much! Greatly appreciated 🙏 ❤
This is fantastic. Maybe you don't have to interact with people the usual way, but care is still needed when interacting with people of a particular culture and background cause not everyone will be able to appreciate these or be comfortable. It's more of flexibility than wanting to please other people and not being true to oneself.
What a great video, Love you guys and Charisma on Command
bro! you really rock what you share is so masterful!! In gratitude!!
you should do Jason Momoa's persona breakdown. How did it become what it is today? it was a great metamorphosis of personality and nobody makes a breakdown of it
I used to dislike Russel Brand back in the day. Now I honestly think he is very enlightened and intelligent, love listening to him speak. I wish I was as bright.
The "feeling the energy of others" thing is being an empath. Although that sounds like a spiritual or supernatural thing, science supports that at least 1-2% of the population have the ability to "feel the emotions of others", but I would describe it much more as energy than emotion. I'm dead convinced it's a genuine sense (e.g. touch, smell).
It probably does have something to do with smell, pheromones are a thing and the connection between our sense of smell and other neurological processes is something we often overlook
@@21scandium42 That's a really funny thought! I am totally aware of smell and sometimes feel like I have this crazy superpower in my nose where I can smell stress and arousal and whatnot on people
Here’s an interesting thing to ponder. People may be born a bit sensitive and intuitive, but empaths are made. “Perpetrator bonding.” They were raised with unpredictable parents where they became hyper-attuned to nuances in body language and emotion and are often scanning for the most troublesome person in the room. Which is why you hear many empaths complain about being so. They feel the negative things in the room more than others. The good thing is that if they can learn to hyper-attune to the good and master their mind, they can begin to change things and dictate their feelings more. Not be such an emotional willow waving in the wind.
Thank you I needed this
This video is bomb ! Very important and useful information. Thank you ! :)
Eckharts teachings have literally changed my life to the better. Peace of mind is my default mode nowadays.
Mindfulness through meditation is one way to cultivate presence
We are but spiritual beings having a human experience. In regards to letting go of social fear, I'd also recommend 'The Courage to be Disliked'. It is written in the style of a greek myth and is very insightful. I learn something new each time I read it.
Hey Charlie - love the channel! I'm sure many of us have this same concern, but now that Work for Home and Zoom meetings are suddenly so prevalent in our lives, could you make a video about how to be charismatic over a Zoom chat.
I am starting my first job right out of college, and I am not sure how to approach networking, making friends, and making a name for myself in this environment.
Thanks a ton! :)
I agree i believe the love yourself comes first
Wonderful video guys, thank you.
Awareness is a big part of charisma, I went along time without being able to pay attention
yo guys, I personally find James McAvoy VERY charismatic and some material about him would be great, maybe about distance to yourself, just sayin'
spark.of.madness I second this!
I like these kinds of reaction videos!
More of that 😁
thanks for timestamps!
Love your work! Excellent! Thank you!!
Half of the channel is about Charlie’s man crush on Russel Brand 😂
And I'm up for it 😄
Could you make a video talking about what you agree with in the power of now versus what you don’t? I started listening to the book and some ideas are pretty confusing. I meditate and I’m all about living mindfully but I don’t agree with how he talks about our mind not being the answer to our problems.
There needs do be a Regis Philbin episode
Here before 10 likes
Sorry for your loss.
20th like lmaooo
Fancy seeing you here lol
Fantastic idea! I grew up watching him. He was amazing. Oozing Charisma.
All tips are gold!!
Great insights Charlie. I think a great subject for a charisma breakdown would be Elvis Presley. He had this goofy, self deprecating humor about him mixed with southern charm. Thanks!
Thank you Charlie!!!
My biggest issue is cutting people off because I'm afraid if I don't I'll never get a chance to speak bc I don't have anyone's respect.
Remember nobody has any defence against your complete attention...people always want to know what I think, but I give them a good listening to, not a good talking to. Listen your way forward, and you will always be asked back. Listen, ask questions, listen some more, and they'll soon be saying what a great conversationalist you are. Be Bold, you asked a short question, and see how long I took to answer it? .... ; )
This video is super important. Thank you sir
Excellent video , thank you
I always learn something when I watch these 👍👍👍
I am like Russel when I am fully relaxed or slightly tipsy. Probably comes with being an ENFP personality type.
The titles of videos like this make me question if I do these things and they end up making me feel bad about me cause it’s like telling me that I already don’t do these things
Then these videos aren't for you my friend.
I altso idolized Russell interms otf flirtatious and humour, I mean all aspect of russell.
Would love for you to give Daniel Ricciardo a look, he’s one of the most famous Formula 1 Drivers on the grid but if you even watch one interview with him you’ll understand why I’m asking. He’s so endlessly positive, such a popular character, and has a great electricity around him that I’d love for you to explore deeper.
Before having my first ever date I was very anxious. I've imagined every little scenario in my mind. I was catastrophically overthinking things, then I realized just how much I liked the girl and that I should just do it.
Funny enough, the actual date was not like anything I imagined it would be and it was actually a lot of fun. By no means did anything go terribly wrong. After that I realized that in situations when I start overthinking due to anxiety, I should just act and stop thinking, and usually things work themselves out.
Thank you sir
Just stay calm, no one in front of you is perfect and you're better than them in at least two subjects, don't stress yourself in being perfect