This is a really great podcast. I really feel like the love in Titanic was much more dynamic than how it was shared. Titanic was about her falling in love with herself, discovering her authenticity, sexuality, and living life with what brings her joy. She was only given the window to see that through her brief relationship with Jack. Then, literally, My heart will go on. She moved forward and built a beautiful life. She wasn't pining over him for her whole life.
13:56-14:23 I was surprised to hear that some people choose partners based on how they make them look rather than true compatibility and feeling at home with someone. But then, I remembered my therapist telling me that more than 50% of marriages are unhappy-people don’t feel like they’re with their true partner. It hit close to home because I almost became part of that statistic. My first real relationship wasn’t in high school or college but as an adult. I was thrilled that a guy liked me back and even wanted to marry me. I thought I’d finally found "the one". But the relationship was emotionally abusive, and the stress made me physically ill. Despite all of this, I couldn’t bring myself to leave. I needed someone else to step in and help me because I believed that being with someone-anyone-meant I was finally good enough, that I was worth loving. It's heartbreaking to think how many of us have settled or are settling because we’ve been convinced that any love is better than being alone. But we are worthy more than just "good enough"' We are to feel safe, loved, and truly at home with someone.
The notion of a flawless marriage or relationship is a myth. There's no set formula for success; what works for one couple may not work for another. Yet, I've discovered that there's always a way forward, even in the most challenging times. Five years ago, my wife and I encountered significant hurdles in our marriage that nearly led to divorce. Despite the adversity, we managed to weather the storm and emerge from it with our bond renewed and revitalised.
There is a lot of sense in what you just said and I hope mine works the same way too, we are currently separated but I cant live without her, I love her so much. wish I can get her back I can do anything to have her back, we have tried therapy amongst other things.
Its always difficult to let someone you love go, but in my case I had the help of a spiritual adviser who saved my marriage from collapsing her name is shelly renee white
I'm in a new relationship, I've known the guy over 20 years. The new dating scene is different, even though I've known this guy this long, I know him a small bit, he surprises me all the time. Ways we show love to each other, not crossing important boundaries, and everyday life. He doesn't know everything about me, and I don't know everything about him. I also thank and acknowledge the things he does that makes me feel special. Guys love those things.
Great video, A month ago, my five-year relationship came to an end. I really can't stop thinking about the love of my life, who made the decision to leave me. I've done everything in my power to win him back, but it's all in vain, and I can't imagine my life with anyone else. I genuinely miss him and just can't stop thinking about him, even though I've tried my hardest to stop thinking about him. I'm not sure why I'm saying this here.
It's hard to say goodbye to someone you love; I experienced this when my 12-year relationship ended. However, I couldn't just let him go; instead, I tried everything to win him back. Eventually, I turned to a spiritual counsellor for assistance, and he was able to help me win him back.
Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked him up now online. impressive Wow I just looked Father Obah Eze on the net he’s very legit thanks once again ❤
Nice video!." My five year relationship came to an end a month ago. The love of my life chose to leave, and I can't stop thinking about him; I love him so deeply. I've done everything I can to win him back, but nothing seems to work. I'm feeling frustrated and can't imagine my life with anyone else. Despite my efforts to move on, I just can't shake the thoughts of him. I don’t know why I’m sharing this, but I really miss him,"
It's tough to let go of someone you care about. I can relate, my 12year relationship also ended, and I struggled to move on. I tried everything to get him back, even seeking help from a spiritual counselor who ultimately helped me reconnect with him.
The second half of this video was gold. I realised that I have been getting better at setting my boundaries with men and communicating it better now when in the past I used to ghost. I love hearing Matthew and all his great advice. It's helped me more than anything
I wondered and feared WHY couples look bored, or dont talk to eachother or wonder why sooner or later itll get that way, but now i have a new perspective that its the individuals to always evolve and learn to keep yourself "fresh" and the relationship fresh. Im sure it wirks if both partners understand and want this. Thank you !
44:00 I agree. Love yourself the most. When you love yourself the most, being single is joy. So many people engage in dating with a view to sex being first. They may have the promise of a relationship at some point. For those people, they build a foundation on sand and rocks,not on a solid foundation. Healthy relationships that are lasting are built on a solid foundations of friendship. During the dating period of getting to know someone, you’re finding out if they would be a good friend. If they are compatible with you. If you have things in common. That doesn’t mean sex. Everyone has sex in common. I chatted with a woman that said she’d been married for six years and is now getting a divorce. I asked her what qualities in that person drew her to him that lead to marriage. She said it was great sex. I asked her if it started out with sex. She said yes, on the first date. I asked her what else drew her to him and what else did they have in common. She said nothing. I was out for a walk and I saw a car load of women picking up another woman. The driver yelled out to her, “ let’s go out and find you a good man”. The first thoughts that came to mind were, these woman are going out to party looking for a good man. Make that make sense. Well, it does bc Like attracts like. That’s what they’ll have in common. That’s their view of a good man. Whether it’s a foundation being built for a relationship or a foundation being built for the life of a new born child. Build things on a solid foundation. If you choose to build a life on sand or rocks it may grow for a short time. Then you’ll see it whither bc love & respect were not present in ones self from the start.
My friend got a divorce then a boyfriend. I haven't said anything to her about that. She just thinks he's a great guy, which he may truly be. However, like you said, she also wanted to have a relationship because she said she needs cuddle time, sex, something apparently she didn't have towards the end of her marriage. That gave me a red flag moment with her. I tried to talk with her about it, but she thinks a man hurt me too badly so that's why I don't want a partner. Anywho, long story short, I am questioning my friendship with her because I once thought she was a very smart friends. Now, I feel like we have nothing in common and she low-key downplayed what I was telling her about myself. In other words, she didn't believe me. I hope for her sake she's happy for a long time with this person. I personally cannot do that.
"Be happy enough that you can say 'No' to the wrong person." This advice is very helpful to me! And the idea that I'm doing okay if am just "happy enough" with my single status, and not constantly Blissfully Happy is also extremely helpful! It takes pressure off of myself. I can be "happy enough." Thanks for your balanced ideas, Matthew! 😀⭐⭐⭐
i've definitely thought the great qualities of an ex was normal and later found out that those qualities really arent normal. that's why i think it's important for a long term relationship to have space within it in order to get back that appreciation for each other's intricacies
Such a great episode. Matthew is always helpful. Mel, thank you for keeping it real by asking, "How rhe hell do you do that?" I am 60, still trying to decide how to handle my 31+ year marriage to a very incompatible partner. It is so easy to get stuck. I hope all watching this will take Matthew's advice about not wasting your time. Love to all.
The very first point in the video spoke volumes. I take my husbands kindness and sweetness for granted. I am more romantic and live life with passion and I want him to be more like me. This was an important reminder that I have much to be grateful for. We have 25 years in marriage and I want it to be for life. Thank you.
I’m 51 and single I’ve been single for 12yrs too scared to get involved with anyone ever again… and I romanticise the idea of a relationship but I’ve never had a healthy one. So I avoid people all together and i know I’m missing out of a life a deserve but I know that finding someone is now slipping away because the longer I’m single and peaceful ❤ I choose my peace and my families peace, over the loneliness and the complex trauma, we are trying to recover from and I’m not throwing trauma into the conversation lightly we’ve been hideously mentally and physically abused by my longterm partner my children were removed from His care by the police when they were teenagers we’ve suffered a life that no one should ever have to I feel so sorry for my kids… people change and you can’t escape… so as much as I’d love to have a lovely loving supportive partner that accepts me and my children and wants to allow us, to just be ourselves and learn what actual traumatised people trying to heal looks like ❤
I am truly sorry that you had to endure so much abuse and trauma that you've been left to choose to be on your own. I'm four years into a similar situation. Once you've been through so much abuse and trauma, peace seems to be the most precious thing that you could have even if it is accompanied by loneliness. I hope and pray that you can heal enough that having a companion in your life becomes an enhancement to your life and not a need ❤
My beautiful 50+ yo cousin met a woman hiking who introduced her to her single brother. They have been happily married for years and have an adopted son. ✨💖✨
I listen to this wondering if my ex and I were just incompatible or if she was a narcissist. The fact she had no remorse or was not hurt when she would hurt my feelings makes me believe she was a narcissist.
Man, so much good insightful stuff here that just inspires me to be better and finally gives me the answers I need when I've had writer's block for so long.
24:28 YES! It's YOUR dream. It's selfish to think your partner should support your dream when it's not theirs! I'm so glad he said this. At first I thought he was going to say, "You need to live your happy life" but not address this aspect. OWN the fact it's YOUR dream, not theirs, and that YOU need to weigh what is more important. You may love that person, but being so far away, I wonder just how genuine, real that love is. That's why marriage clarifies a lot of these things. Now, I'm not all pro-marriage. I'm single at heart and personally think in today's world marriage is antiquated. What I'm saying is that marriage is where you definitely have to think about breaking a legal contract and thus makes it more serious.
Absolutely loved this! So glad I listened to this today...EXACTLY what I needed and so much more! My whole life thinking one way just changed in minutes. Please have more conversations like these! Thank you so much for this gift❤
Amazing guest. Such an intelligent and honest conversation. All so so true. ive been dealing with my lack of growth and have acted on it. I feel so much happier. “We are the home”… love that brilliant thank you both so much :).
It might be good to define what "letting oneself go" means. An ex told me one time that I'd let myself go, when the only change I'd made was to go on the pill, which caused weight gain. (Then I'd only one top that fitted when we went out & I couldn't afford more clothes at the time). Other than that, I was treating myself exactly the same. (Edit, I dumped him shortly after that )
I send this to you with a caring heart. You are kidding yourself. There are so many birth control methods out there and clothing, I love luxury, I shop high end stores but I’ve sometimes I can find basic items on Amazon, Home goods and even Walmart. You can do it, if you open your mind to new ways and ideas. Wishing you the best🌺
Good on you for letting that person go. Go you for boundaries! That person is likely addicted to p and objectifying. Love someone for who they are inside, not how you think they should look for you to feel better. Objectifying sucks
So true! Do not stop growing, because you have to be fresh for your partner. Engage in new activities! Shortly after we started dating my BF just started spending evenings on the sofa watching Netflix. 😔 not only gaining weight because he quit going to the gym, but also watching senseless shows, like cooking or barbecue. (Ps. He never cooked anything from that) 😢
Sorry to write on your timeline But I have to tell you the truth, you always share great posts🤭. Oh, when I saw your wonderful posts and your beautiful photos🌹, I was impressed. But if I send you a friend invitation without your consent, it would be impolite. If you become my friend, I will be very happy to add me or send me a friend request.. If you find this message embarrassing please pardon my manners. Thank you.
This video is amazing especially your guest Matthew. His explanation deep thoughts bout how's to have a real & happy relationship is so extraordinary way. He really amazing n I learned a lot. Thank you so much ❤
It’s not hard to bee singel, you have to feel good and live you life, when or if you find love you do, if not do something for you because nobody and only youself are the amazing life here and now. So live you life and keep smile ❤️
A lot of people feel that yes their partner should be like them and that isn't always possible. People are different and have different values and are also in different places in their life. Their hobbies / interests are different. That's also what makes a person unique.
Yes I understand entrepreneurs and yes I also understand the partners point of view. We all don't share the same values or enjoy the same things "activities."
What Mathew is talking about around 5:50, I got it right away because that's the story of my life,the way people see me or not. And it doesn't just happen in relationships with men, but with family and friends. When people meet me, they tell me how great they think the x, y, z are about me, then they start taking me for granted, especially men. But overtime I started seeing it with family and friends too, just not to that extreme. They all think it's normal. I noticed the difference in how they treat me or in our relationship, but only two friends have actually noticed it and told me about it and that was only when they started being friends with a bunch of others people while I was in a different city. They saw that they don't have the same friendship.
this may seem counterintuitive but don't be consistent, don't let them think your favors and care are your responsibility, don't let them get used to it to the point that they won't even notice it. Do them sporadically and don't use sentences like "it was nothing" or anything that makes less of what you did when people thank you and if they don't even thank you bring it up lightheartedly. Some people will still take you for granted and you can choose to invest in those people as much as they invest in you after you see that but then there will be others who will learn to value your favors instead of taking them for granted. PS: all these must be very lighthearted and without resentment and as a matter of fact. "I'm not pissed or hurt that people don't value what I do, but I just won't do them if it's not valued because why would I do something that's pointless and takes time and energy" I hope this helps.
@@Nikki..... Thank you so much! It helps, I wish someone has told me that years ago. That ship has definitely sailed a while ago with my family and some friends. They do say thank you, on the mos part, but it's the things in between that I noticed which sometimes make me sad. I'll concentrate on being like that with men, who by the way, never thanked me for anything, it was completely one sided and quickly turned into "you're obliged to do..., and I'm still gonna say it's not enough".
What if just one partner is interested in personal growth? What if only one comes up with new ideas, passions. What if only one reads, develops new hobbies, loves to experience new things? And the other one loves all the way it is?
I ve notice though that a lot of people who try to teach others deal with their own problems and or have had years of unsucessfull relationships,marriages..its like u gathered the knowledge but do u keep havin disfunctional relationships? I like to listen to both matthew and lewis and both have had similar love life and its great seein them now in healthy relationship❤ I d like to ask would u recommend to give a relationship u ve ended a second chance after u ve done some work on urself or should u keep those doors closed forever?
I am dreaming of a relationship that will make me feel valuable no matter what. A person who will be my partner and we both sustain each others needs. I am losing hope. 😔😔😔
Wait, what happened at 21min? Suddenly from the fact that we need to change the way we tell ourselves love stories (now I wonder well, from what to what? And how?), to complements??
How do you deal with the heart break of thinking someone was falling for you because they say things like they hope it’s a thing because they want to love you and they miss you when you’re working but then they pull back and take it back how do you handle that because I’m confused
How in the world do woman sit in front of Matthew and hear a single word he says. I’m sorry to his wife 😅 but, he is extra good looking. I would be a complete mouth breather weirdo and couldn’t speak😂. All that aside Mel, I love watching all your content and Matthew’s as well. Two amazing people with such amazing insight.
Being the youngest of older brothers at 68 and female. I never got it. I don’t get the romance any of it? I’m not worried about it anymore. I had male friends . Yesterday had an old dude ask me out. But he’s married. Yo dude you’re married don’t bother me!! I don’t get it!! I never will !
Speaking of people kind of being addicted to only looking at online dating well I think we can think COVID for that because we were locked down and not allowed to go out to meet people for years Let's talk about how we should never ever allow that to happen again because it was incredibly bad for everybody socially including children of course
I love you - but if I was your best friend I would tell you that shade of lipstick is not the best for you. You have such a natural beauty, I'd tone it down a bit. Don't be mad at me. And, thanks for this video - I've been married for 37 years and the biggest mistake is just giving things away. AKA - if your partner is better at doing the budget then don't just give it away to them. Take responsibility and learn how to do it. It's ok if they do it mostly, just don't put it all on their shoulders. This is the same for raising the kids, doing the housework, etc etc. The other piece, and obviously the truth = NEVER lie, right from the start. If you don't like something they are doing, tell them. If you prefer "things" this way or that way....tell them! so many other things but not enough time to say it all. xx Mel
Sorry to write on your timeline But I have to tell you the truth, you always share great posts🤭. Oh, when I saw your wonderful posts and your beautiful photos🌹, I was impressed. But if I send you a friend invitation without your consent, it would be impolite. If you become my friend, I will be very happy to add me or send me a friend request.. If you find this message embarrassing please pardon my manners. Thank you.
Sorry to write on your timeline But I have to tell you the truth, you always share great posts🤭. Oh, when I saw your wonderful posts and your beautiful photos🌹, I was impressed. But if I send you a friend invitation without your consent, it would be impolite. If you become my friend, I will be very happy to add me or send me a friend request.. If you find this message embarrassing please pardon my manners. Thank you.
You drive 2h back and forth each time to spend time with her, you lend cash, help her out financially and emotionally, you learn courses for her austitic boy and do your best for 2 years and last months she just doesn't care about it and just wants to visit people, yous don't do anything as a couple, there isnt chemistry, I tried to ask her whats wrong and I'm the problem, her friend who lives in the next building is always there in her house and they are always together... And the relation ends cause you see her giving a night kiss in the mouth to her older(18 years older than her), you talk to them both tell them you understand they are good friends but you dont feel its its, and her friend explodes and I'm called crazy in the head, and her pal told her in the spot to end our 2 year relationship, thats it....
He's talking about complacency, which is nothing new, just reworded...lots of times they say this was the reason for infidelity...add a spark to your life, mix it up...
You seem to know more about my situation than I do. You can't say how I would respond to someone or what choice I would make before the actual conversation. Yall are choosing to get involved before the "hard conversation." Butting in like this is premature and harmful. You seem kind Matthew, but your content is exploitative nonetheless
Sorry to write on your timeline But I have to tell you the truth, you always share great posts🤭. Oh, when I saw your wonderful posts and your beautiful photos🌹, I was impressed. But if I send you a friend invitation without your consent, it would be impolite. If you become my friend, I will be very happy to add me or send me a friend request.. If you find this message embarrassing please pardon my manners. Thank you.
I feel like mel is trying to copy Marie forleo or is Marie forleo trying to copy mel Robbins?😊 Either way. I think there's too much information out there.
I’ve listen to Matthew when I was single and now I’ve been with my partner for 4 years and married for 2 and I’m still amazingly happy.
That is so wonderful! I’m very happy you have that.
Soooo happy for you ❤
Love this ❤
happy for you
Happy to hear this, gives hope
This is a really great podcast. I really feel like the love in Titanic was much more dynamic than how it was shared. Titanic was about her falling in love with herself, discovering her authenticity, sexuality, and living life with what brings her joy. She was only given the window to see that through her brief relationship with Jack. Then, literally, My heart will go on. She moved forward and built a beautiful life. She wasn't pining over him for her whole life.
Christian Podcasts Women #shorts #monetization #englishpodcast
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13:56-14:23 I was surprised to hear that some people choose partners based on how they make them look rather than true compatibility and feeling at home with someone. But then, I remembered my therapist telling me that more than 50% of marriages are unhappy-people don’t feel like they’re with their true partner.
It hit close to home because I almost became part of that statistic. My first real relationship wasn’t in high school or college but as an adult. I was thrilled that a guy liked me back and even wanted to marry me. I thought I’d finally found "the one". But the relationship was emotionally abusive, and the stress made me physically ill. Despite all of this, I couldn’t bring myself to leave. I needed someone else to step in and help me because I believed that being with someone-anyone-meant I was finally good enough, that I was worth loving.
It's heartbreaking to think how many of us have settled or are settling because we’ve been convinced that any love is better than being alone. But we are worthy more than just "good enough"' We are to feel safe, loved, and truly at home with someone.
The notion of a flawless marriage or relationship is a myth. There's no set formula for success; what works for one couple may not work for another. Yet, I've discovered that there's always a way forward, even in the most challenging times. Five years ago, my wife and I encountered significant hurdles in our marriage that nearly led to divorce. Despite the adversity, we managed to weather the storm and emerge from it with our bond renewed and revitalised.
There is a lot of sense in what you just said and I hope mine works the same way too, we are currently separated but I cant live without her, I love her so much. wish I can get her back I can do anything to have her back, we have tried therapy amongst other things.
Its always difficult to let someone you love go, but in my case I had the help of a spiritual adviser who saved my marriage from collapsing her name is shelly renee white
This is helpful, I will look her up online right now...Thanks..
You wont regret it.
Matthew has so much compassion for people. I love listening to him and the way he thinks about relationships. He's absolutely rare.
I'm in a new relationship, I've known the guy over 20 years. The new dating scene is different, even though I've known this guy this long, I know him a small bit, he surprises me all the time. Ways we show love to each other, not crossing important boundaries, and everyday life. He doesn't know everything about me, and I don't know everything about him. I also thank and acknowledge the things he does that makes me feel special. Guys love those things.
Christian Podcasts Women #shorts #monetization #englishpodcast
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Great video, A month ago, my five-year relationship came to an end. I really can't stop thinking about the love of my life, who made the decision to leave me. I've done everything in my power to win him back, but it's all in vain, and I can't imagine my life with anyone else. I genuinely miss him and just can't stop thinking about him, even though I've tried my hardest to stop thinking about him. I'm not sure why I'm saying this here.
It's hard to say goodbye to someone you love; I experienced this when my 12-year relationship ended. However, I couldn't just let him go; instead, I tried everything to win him back. Eventually, I turned to a spiritual counsellor for assistance, and he was able to help me win him back.
Interesting! How did you locate a spiritual counsellor, and how can I get in touch with him most effectively?
His name is Father Obah Eze, and he is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.
he is father obah eze, he has great powers, he can help you.
Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked him up now online. impressive
Wow I just looked Father Obah Eze on the net he’s very legit thanks once again ❤
"Make life fresh for you..." Yes! Once we can learn new things we keep things fresh and engaging! Thank you, Mel for this!
Christian Podcasts Women #shorts #monetization #englishpodcast
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My cousin who is married for 27 years always tells me how important this is
Nice video!." My five year relationship came to an end a month ago. The love of my life chose to leave, and I can't stop thinking about him; I love him so deeply. I've done everything I can to win him back, but nothing seems to work. I'm feeling frustrated and can't imagine my life with anyone else. Despite my efforts to move on, I just can't shake the thoughts of him. I don’t know why I’m sharing this, but I really miss him,"
It's tough to let go of someone you care about. I can relate, my 12year relationship also ended, and I struggled to move on. I tried everything to get him back, even seeking help from a spiritual counselor who ultimately helped me reconnect with him.
That's incredible! How did you find a spiritual counselor, and how can I contact one?
His name is Owen Abiola, and he’s an amazing spiritual counselor who specializes in bringing back lost loves.
Owen Abiola has incredible powers, and he can assist you.
Thank you for sharing this valuable information! I just looked him up online, and I'm impressed.
The second half of this video was gold. I realised that I have been getting better at setting my boundaries with men and communicating it better now when in the past I used to ghost. I love hearing Matthew and all his great advice. It's helped me more than anything
Christian Podcasts Women #shorts #monetization #englishpodcast
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I wondered and feared WHY couples look bored, or dont talk to eachother or wonder why sooner or later itll get that way, but now i have a new perspective that its the individuals to always evolve and learn to keep yourself "fresh" and the relationship fresh.
Im sure it wirks if both partners understand and want this. Thank you !
Good conversation and not blaming everything on narcissism for a change.
44:00 I agree. Love yourself the most.
When you love yourself the most, being single is joy.
So many people engage in dating with a view to sex being first. They may have the promise of a relationship at some point.
For those people, they build a foundation on sand and rocks,not on a solid foundation.
Healthy relationships that are lasting are built on a solid foundations of friendship.
During the dating period of getting to know someone, you’re finding out if they would be a good friend. If they are compatible with you. If you have things in common.
That doesn’t mean sex.
Everyone has sex in common.
I chatted with a woman that said she’d been married for six years and is now getting a divorce.
I asked her what qualities in that person drew her to him that lead to marriage. She said it was great sex. I asked her if it started out with sex. She said yes, on the first date.
I asked her what else drew her to him and what else did they have in common. She said nothing.
I was out for a walk and I saw a car load of women picking up another woman. The driver yelled out to her, “ let’s go out and find you a good man”.
The first thoughts that came to mind were, these woman are going out to party looking for a good man.
Make that make sense.
Well, it does bc
Like attracts like. That’s what they’ll have in common. That’s their view of a good man.
Whether it’s a foundation being built for a relationship or a foundation being built for the life of a new born child.
Build things on a solid foundation.
If you choose to build a life on sand or rocks it may grow for a short time. Then you’ll see it whither bc love & respect were not present in ones self from the start.
My friend got a divorce then a boyfriend. I haven't said anything to her about that. She just thinks he's a great guy, which he may truly be. However, like you said, she also wanted to have a relationship because she said she needs cuddle time, sex, something apparently she didn't have towards the end of her marriage. That gave me a red flag moment with her. I tried to talk with her about it, but she thinks a man hurt me too badly so that's why I don't want a partner. Anywho, long story short, I am questioning my friendship with her because I once thought she was a very smart friends. Now, I feel like we have nothing in common and she low-key downplayed what I was telling her about myself. In other words, she didn't believe me. I hope for her sake she's happy for a long time with this person. I personally cannot do that.
@@jungersrules 🙌🏼🌞
Definitely do what feels best to you.
Christian Podcasts Women #shorts #monetization #englishpodcast
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"Be happy enough that you can say 'No' to the wrong person." This advice is very helpful to me! And the idea that I'm doing okay if am just "happy enough" with my single status, and not constantly Blissfully Happy is also extremely helpful! It takes pressure off of myself. I can be "happy enough." Thanks for your balanced ideas, Matthew! 😀⭐⭐⭐
i've definitely thought the great qualities of an ex was normal and later found out that those qualities really arent normal. that's why i think it's important for a long term relationship to have space within it in order to get back that appreciation for each other's intricacies
Such a great episode. Matthew is always helpful. Mel, thank you for keeping it real by asking, "How rhe hell do you do that?" I am 60, still trying to decide how to handle my 31+ year marriage to a very incompatible partner. It is so easy to get stuck. I hope all watching this will take Matthew's advice about not wasting your time. Love to all.
The very first point in the video spoke volumes. I take my husbands kindness and sweetness for granted. I am more romantic and live life with passion and I want him to be more like me. This was an important reminder that I have much to be grateful for. We have 25 years in marriage and I want it to be for life. Thank you.
I didn’t want this episode to end. It was fascinating and validated a some thought processes for me. Thanks for sharing.
I really gained much from this beneficial podcast! THIS IS A REALLY GOOD 1 MEL, I enjoy listening to Mathew. He’s so good like you Mel Robbins 💯❤
I’m 51 and single I’ve been single for 12yrs too scared to get involved with anyone ever again… and I romanticise the idea of a relationship but I’ve never had a healthy one. So I avoid people all together and i know I’m missing out of a life a deserve but I know that finding someone is now slipping away because the longer I’m single and peaceful ❤ I choose my peace and my families peace, over the loneliness and the complex trauma, we are trying to recover from and I’m not throwing trauma into the conversation lightly we’ve been hideously mentally and physically abused by my longterm partner my children were removed from
His care by the police when they were teenagers we’ve suffered a life that no one should ever have to I feel so sorry for my kids… people change and you can’t escape… so as much as I’d love to have a lovely loving supportive partner that accepts me and my children and wants to allow us, to just be ourselves and learn what actual traumatised people trying to heal looks like ❤
I am truly sorry that you had to endure so much abuse and trauma that you've been left to choose to be on your own. I'm four years into a similar situation. Once you've been through so much abuse and trauma, peace seems to be the most precious thing that you could have even if it is accompanied by loneliness. I hope and pray that you can heal enough that having a companion in your life becomes an enhancement to your life and not a need ❤
Just discovered your podcast yesterday, and I love your originality and carefully selected helpful topics. I love you!
My beautiful 50+ yo cousin met a woman hiking who introduced her to her single brother. They have been happily married for years and have an adopted son. ✨💖✨
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I’m so thankful I came across your videos 😊
Matthew's content is 🔥 and Mel love your questions and the points you bring up. Will have to listen to this one again and literally take notes 📝
I listen to this wondering if my ex and I were just incompatible or if she was a narcissist. The fact she had no remorse or was not hurt when she would hurt my feelings makes me believe she was a narcissist.
Man, so much good insightful stuff here that just inspires me to be better and finally gives me the answers I need when I've had writer's block for so long.
whoever is reading this and wanting a change in their life, just go read forbidden manifestation by zara blackthorn
This is so profound, thank you both!
24:28 YES! It's YOUR dream. It's selfish to think your partner should support your dream when it's not theirs! I'm so glad he said this. At first I thought he was going to say, "You need to live your happy life" but not address this aspect. OWN the fact it's YOUR dream, not theirs, and that YOU need to weigh what is more important. You may love that person, but being so far away, I wonder just how genuine, real that love is. That's why marriage clarifies a lot of these things. Now, I'm not all pro-marriage. I'm single at heart and personally think in today's world marriage is antiquated. What I'm saying is that marriage is where you definitely have to think about breaking a legal contract and thus makes it more serious.
Christian Podcasts Women #shorts #monetization #englishpodcast
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49:00 literally you can control everything but finding the person who is meant for you is truly like an lotto game.
Absolutely loved this! So glad I listened to this today...EXACTLY what I needed and so much more! My whole life thinking one way just changed in minutes. Please have more conversations like these! Thank you so much for this gift❤
Amazing guest. Such an intelligent and honest conversation. All so so true. ive been dealing with my lack of growth and have acted on it. I feel so much happier.
“We are the home”… love that brilliant thank you both so much :).
Christian Podcasts Women #shorts #monetization #englishpodcast
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Such a wonderful video & enjoy following U both(Mathew & yourself) SHARED MANY TIMES
This is so amazing podcast as I'm focused on career n never had any relationship.... Thank you for giving new ideas for relationships
Absolutely loved this discussion such an eye opener
It might be good to define what "letting oneself go" means. An ex told me one time that I'd let myself go, when the only change I'd made was to go on the pill, which caused weight gain. (Then I'd only one top that fitted when we went out & I couldn't afford more clothes at the time). Other than that, I was treating myself exactly the same. (Edit, I dumped him shortly after that )
I send this to you with a caring heart. You are kidding yourself. There are so many birth control methods out there and clothing, I love luxury, I shop high end stores but I’ve sometimes I can find basic items on Amazon, Home goods and even Walmart. You can do it, if you open your mind to new ways and ideas. Wishing you the best🌺
@@janetcorey5102Above commenter doesn't understand past tense in English.
Glad you let him go. He would have never been happy. appearances will change no matter how hard we try.
@@seagirl1100 Thanks 😊. Yeah, he was an idiot. Plenty of them around, I just don't bother with them anymore!
Good on you for letting that person go. Go you for boundaries! That person is likely addicted to p and objectifying. Love someone for who they are inside, not how you think they should look for you to feel better. Objectifying sucks
Please Keep Providing Us With Such Learning Videos. Thank You So Much Ma'am! 🙏
So true! Do not stop growing, because you have to be fresh for your partner. Engage in new activities! Shortly after we started dating my BF just started spending evenings on the sofa watching Netflix. 😔 not only gaining weight because he quit going to the gym, but also watching senseless shows, like cooking or barbecue. (Ps. He never cooked anything from that) 😢
I do really love seeing you both together!
Sorry to write on your timeline
But I have to tell you the truth, you always share great posts🤭. Oh, when I saw your wonderful posts and your beautiful photos🌹, I was impressed. But if I send you a friend invitation without your consent, it would be impolite. If you become my friend, I will be very happy to add me or send me a friend request.. If you find this message embarrassing please pardon my manners. Thank you.
This video is amazing especially your guest Matthew. His explanation deep thoughts bout how's to have a real & happy relationship is so extraordinary way. He really amazing n I learned a lot. Thank you so much ❤
It’s not hard to bee singel, you have to feel good and live you life, when or if you find love you do, if not do something for you because nobody and only youself are the amazing life here and now. So live you life and keep smile ❤️
Christian Podcasts Women #shorts #monetization #englishpodcast
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A lot of people feel that yes their partner should be like them and that isn't always possible. People are different and have different values and are also in different places in their life. Their hobbies / interests are different. That's also what makes a person unique.
Great Info. Helped ME!
Great video, you need to keep inviting Mathew not only for his great advice but because he is so handsome😂❤
😂
He is so right! Thank you for this!
事实是，没有新鲜事在关系里，即使彼此努力更新自己，没人是完美的…靠近彼此只是能量吸收，无论任何关系；然而特别是亲密关系，同频共振长时间使关系长久，反之亦然，关系长短的意义在于各人的人生观评。对我来说，都是人生经历而己哈哈，所以打造自己的能量处于高频或平衡状态，你就可以使自己幸福快乐！无需任何人长久陪伴哈哈😁
你也是台灣人嗎？ 我很少用 social media. 妳的觀念很相近，不管你是男的或女的，或許我們可以成為筆友。我的電郵是tiffanysu886@gmail.com 如果有興趣成筆友。
this was mega thank you :)
Yes I understand entrepreneurs and yes I also understand the partners point of view. We all don't share the same values or enjoy the same things "activities."
Thank you so much for this podcast!! Very informative!! ❤
What Mathew is talking about around 5:50, I got it right away because that's the story of my life,the way people see me or not. And it doesn't just happen in relationships with men, but with family and friends.
When people meet me, they tell me how great they think the x, y, z are about me, then they start taking me for granted, especially men. But overtime I started seeing it with family and friends too, just not to that extreme. They all think it's normal. I noticed the difference in how they treat me or in our relationship, but only two friends have actually noticed it and told me about it and that was only when they started being friends with a bunch of others people while I was in a different city. They saw that they don't have the same friendship.
this may seem counterintuitive but don't be consistent, don't let them think your favors and care are your responsibility, don't let them get used to it to the point that they won't even notice it. Do them sporadically and don't use sentences like "it was nothing" or anything that makes less of what you did when people thank you and if they don't even thank you bring it up lightheartedly. Some people will still take you for granted and you can choose to invest in those people as much as they invest in you after you see that but then there will be others who will learn to value your favors instead of taking them for granted.
PS: all these must be very lighthearted and without resentment and as a matter of fact. "I'm not pissed or hurt that people don't value what I do, but I just won't do them if it's not valued because why would I do something that's pointless and takes time and energy"
I hope this helps.
@@Nikki..... Thank you so much! It helps, I wish someone has told me that years ago. That ship has definitely sailed a while ago with my family and some friends. They do say thank you, on the mos part, but it's the things in between that I noticed which sometimes make me sad.
I'll concentrate on being like that with men, who by the way, never thanked me for anything, it was completely one sided and quickly turned into "you're obliged to do..., and I'm still gonna say it's not enough".
To the point and very refreshing conversation ❤❤❤..
It's so hard to build a trusted relationship. I don't even know where to find a partner.
it can't be an overnight process, trust God and pray that he helps you start because thats when you will built one.... all the best
Agreed
Thank you Mel & Matthew for this great video full of valuable information ❤🤗
Thank you Mel and Matthew. What do I do if men see me and think only sex,without even talking to me or knowing me?
Lovely conversation...
Loved everything ❤️❤️❤️
I love both of you 🥰
Stay blessed 🙏🙌
Excellente conversation ❤
This was so good! I heard everything I tell myself and that feels great.
Christian Podcasts Women #shorts #monetization #englishpodcast
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Excellent video. Thank you so much!
😂😂😅😅 “100 years old lady reminiscing on a fling “ 😅 love this!!
Thanks Mel, I appreciate this. 💚
What if just one partner is interested in personal growth? What if only one comes up with new ideas, passions. What if only one reads, develops new hobbies, loves to experience new things? And the other one loves all the way it is?
Episode structure is not clear enough for me. Is this a part? If so, which part? And how can I access the whole episode?? Thanks!
I ve notice though that a lot of people who try to teach others deal with their own problems and or have had years of unsucessfull relationships,marriages..its like u gathered the knowledge but do u keep havin disfunctional relationships? I like to listen to both matthew and lewis and both have had similar love life and its great seein them now in healthy relationship❤
I d like to ask would u recommend to give a relationship u ve ended a second chance after u ve done some work on urself or should u keep those doors closed forever?
this is so great!!
I lost count on the # of times I shared this beneficial video I know for certain it’s over 10 times…
This is true
Need things to talk about
But if I try to do anything for myself gym,yoga , group with people doing anything he gets. All bent !!
Jealous
Run!
I am dreaming of a relationship that will make me feel valuable no matter what. A person who will be my partner and we both sustain each others needs. I am losing hope. 😔😔😔
How do I cope with someone saying continuously about me dumping telling him f off etc. Its making me sad
LOVE UR PODCAST!!!!
Wait, what happened at 21min? Suddenly from the fact that we need to change the way we tell ourselves love stories (now I wonder well, from what to what? And how?), to complements??
Thank-you ❤
Well Advice ever!! ✨
love this show.
How do you deal with the heart break of thinking someone was falling for you because they say things like they hope it’s a thing because they want to love you and they miss you when you’re working but then they pull back and take it back how do you handle that because I’m confused
Perfect one❤
Matthew 🙌🏾
How in the world do woman sit in front of Matthew and hear a single word he says. I’m sorry to his wife 😅 but, he is extra good looking. I would be a complete mouth breather weirdo and couldn’t speak😂. All that aside Mel, I love watching all your content and Matthew’s as well. Two amazing people with such amazing insight.
Loved Loved Loved 🥰
I love this!!!!
Being the youngest of older brothers at 68 and female. I never got it. I don’t get the romance any of it? I’m not worried about it anymore. I had male friends . Yesterday had an old dude ask me out. But he’s married. Yo dude you’re married don’t bother me!! I don’t get it!! I never will !
Great video ,
Well said ❤❤❤❤❤
Totally liked your guest . So clever., well you are too. Just saying. .
I keep telling people that
Motivation
Speaking of people kind of being addicted to only looking at online dating well I think we can think COVID for that because we were locked down and not allowed to go out to meet people for years
Let's talk about how we should never ever allow that to happen again because it was incredibly bad for everybody socially including children of course
I love you - but if I was your best friend I would tell you that shade of lipstick is not the best for you. You have such a natural beauty, I'd tone it down a bit. Don't be mad at me. And, thanks for this video - I've been married for 37 years and the biggest mistake is just giving things away. AKA - if your partner is better at doing the budget then don't just give it away to them. Take responsibility and learn how to do it. It's ok if they do it mostly, just don't put it all on their shoulders. This is the same for raising the kids, doing the housework, etc etc. The other piece, and obviously the truth = NEVER lie, right from the start. If you don't like something they are doing, tell them. If you prefer "things" this way or that way....tell them! so many other things but not enough time to say it all. xx Mel
Sorry to write on your timeline
But I have to tell you the truth, you always share great posts🤭. Oh, when I saw your wonderful posts and your beautiful photos🌹, I was impressed. But if I send you a friend invitation without your consent, it would be impolite. If you become my friend, I will be very happy to add me or send me a friend request.. If you find this message embarrassing please pardon my manners. Thank you.
People attach their values to their careers..
Sorry to write on your timeline
But I have to tell you the truth, you always share great posts🤭. Oh, when I saw your wonderful posts and your beautiful photos🌹, I was impressed. But if I send you a friend invitation without your consent, it would be impolite. If you become my friend, I will be very happy to add me or send me a friend request.. If you find this message embarrassing please pardon my manners. Thank you.
Sadly love don’t exist anymore
It’s just hooking up
Sending videos pics before u meet ppl
Everyone wants validation
Sucks
@talksick508… OMG the unsolicited pictures/videos such a turn off.
Heirylooms advices
You drive 2h back and forth each time to spend time with her, you lend cash, help her out financially and emotionally, you learn courses for her austitic boy and do your best for 2 years and last months she just doesn't care about it and just wants to visit people, yous don't do anything as a couple, there isnt chemistry, I tried to ask her whats wrong and I'm the problem, her friend who lives in the next building is always there in her house and they are always together... And the relation ends cause you see her giving a night kiss in the mouth to her older(18 years older than her), you talk to them both tell them you understand they are good friends but you dont feel its its, and her friend explodes and I'm called crazy in the head, and her pal told her in the spot to end our 2 year relationship, thats it....
Cut your losses and move on. This isn’t the person for you.
Hello Robbin! A backstage. Its very hard to find a like despite of mirroring the culture and diversity. Is this anxiety?
That is so beautiful. .
like loving uncondional. . .
He's talking about complacency, which is nothing new, just reworded...lots of times they say this was the reason for infidelity...add a spark to your life, mix it up...
You seem to know more about my situation than I do. You can't say how I would respond to someone or what choice I would make before the actual conversation. Yall are choosing to get involved before the "hard conversation." Butting in like this is premature and harmful. You seem kind Matthew, but your content is exploitative nonetheless
Sorry to write on your timeline
But I have to tell you the truth, you always share great posts🤭. Oh, when I saw your wonderful posts and your beautiful photos🌹, I was impressed. But if I send you a friend invitation without your consent, it would be impolite. If you become my friend, I will be very happy to add me or send me a friend request.. If you find this message embarrassing please pardon my manners. Thank you.
I feel like mel is trying to copy Marie forleo or is Marie forleo trying to copy mel Robbins?😊 Either way. I think there's too much information out there.
Boom boom betty ❤ haha
ማቲ፡አመስግናለሁ፡ማቲዬ፡አገሬ፡በሩጫ፡ያጣችውን፡ክብር፡በኔ፡ፍቅር፡ትካሳለች፡በኔና፡ባንተ፡እርዳታ።
You can be the best version of yourself and to the relationship, yet they still turn out to be human dogs.
❤