I think we find it hard because deep down inside we want a man’s approval. We have to realize that a man’s approval doesn’t make or break you. You need to love yourself, because you deserve respect too.
AMEN! SO TRULY RIGHT! GOD BLESS US ALL! GOD LOVES US ALL! SELF LOVE! BELOVED! LET YR LIGHT 4EVER SHINE BRIGHT! YES INDEED! ENOUGH SAID! THATS IT! AUG 2021
I agree. I’m learning that all of our issues stem from childhood. A positive male role model literally can make or break the outcome of a child’s life, ESPECIALLY a female. The absence of a father leaves a gaping hole that breeds a rash of emotional trauma. The desperation for that approval stems from that usually imo… I’m speaking from experience unfortunately
AMEN! SO TRULY RIGHT! GOD BLESS US ALL! GOD LOVES US ALL! SELF LOVE! BELOVED! LET YR LIGHT 4EVER SHINE BRIGHT!GOD IS OUR EVERYTHING! GOD CAN HANDLE ANYTHING! HOLD ON TO GOD ALWAYS! GOD IS ALWAYS WITH US! GOD WILL SEE US THRU ALL THINGS IN YR LIFE RIGHT NOW AND ALWAYS! GOD WILL NEVER LEAVE U NOR FORSAKE U! PRAY OFTEN AND DAILY TO GOD ALWAYS! GLORY TO GOD ALMIGHTY! TELL THE LORD THANK U FOR THIS BLESSED TODAY! TELL THE LORD THANK U FOR EVERYONE IN YR LIFE RIGHT NOW AND ALWAYS! BE GRATEFUL AND THANKFUL FOR ALL THINGS IN YR LIFE RIGHT NOW! AND FOR EVERYONE IN YR LIFE RIGHT NOW AND ALWAYS! KEEP GOD FIRST IN YR LIFE RIGHT NOW AND ALWAYS! KEEP YR FAITH AND LOVE! KEEP YR JOY AND HAPPINESS AND PEACE! STAY STRONG! STAY POSITIVE! STAY CALM! BE PATIENCE! PEACE AND HARMONY TO EVERYONE IN THE WORLD RIGHT NOW! YES INDEED! ENOUGH SAID! THATS IT! AUG 2021
Right!!?? I was just saying his eyes look a little red. I want to say "Tony, take two days off to sleep when you get back. We can wait sir". 😁😊 bless his heart. Good man. 👌🏽😁 I'm here for it though. 😊😊❤
A man's will to listen to what's on your mind, to allow you to express your thoughts, feelings and concerns, to find out what troubles or bothers you, what he could do to improve and make you happier, shows how important you are to him. If he's making you feel like he's on the verge of getting upset everytime you bring these up, cuts the conversations short, says you overreact, exaggerate and only cares about his needs and wants, YOU have to ask yourself why are you continuing to invest in someone who doesn't truly care, love and respect you.
exactly..I can see through such men...I couldnt open my legs to them ..I have a friend like that..I dont invest really..I only have male friends right now..and I cant cut one off that has minor red flags..because he has not been innapropriate towards me..but something is off and he is not transparent..and uncomfortable if I talk about some subjects..I notice all that..they are red flags..
I have decided to hang out alone at a cafe..on top of hanging out with these male friends..was talking to one older male friend too..lol who let me express my thoughts..and told him these 2 other male friends dont let me express my thoughts actually, they try to correct what I want to say or dismiss it..So yeah from now on im eating out on Fridays evening and will sit in a cafe on Saturdays..outside though..could be a deal breaker..as people who d sit outside this winter would mean they didnt get the EU pass with the covid vaccine..Sickening but its another story . No one approached me but 90% of men passing by were looking at me just by the fact I sat alone doing nothing , not checking my phone and simply drinking my coffee slowly..I dont have to deal with men who cant handle I express my thoughts etc..
same here, sis, how are you doing these days? TONY''S videos are a blessing and it is a blessing to finally wake up from the slumber and show yourself door outta toxic, ungodly environment, outta place where you never been wanted.. we can do better! I hope my message finds you smiling and in the place of peace and improvement. @@irlandaise5631
Great video. I’ve learned that if I feel like I can’t speak freely as a human being in the relationship, then that’s a red flag. That level of anxiety and discomfort shouldn’t be there in a relationship.
Exactly!!! You should feel peaceful and safe. I remember in my last relationship I just got quieter and quieter because speaking my thoughts freely to him felt like walking through a jungle full of trip line wired bombs. Never again
AMEN! SO TRULY RIGHT ! GOD BLESS US ALL! GOD LOVES US ALL! SELF LOVE! BELOVED! LET YR LIGHT 4EVER SHINE BRIGHT! WORDS OF WISDOM! YES INDEED! ENOUGH SAID! THATS IT! AUG 2021
@Joyful n Blessed AMEN! SO TRULY RIGHT! WORDS OF WISDOM! YES INDEED! GOD BLESS US ALL! GOD LOVES US ALL! SELF LOVE! BELOVED! LET YR LIGHT 4EVER SHINE BRIGHT! ENOUGH SAID! THATS IT! AUG 2021
My man and I listen to every video together, and have bought your physical books, and audio books and have listened to them multiple times. Together, we are both working on growing. I will never be able to convey to you how grateful I am for you and all you do Tony. ❤
@@lala5061 No, he isn't black. But honestly I don't think that is why he is willing to listen to Tony with me. I don't think he would have ever listened to Tony with an open mind had he not messed up big with me along with landing himself in jail at the same time. I have known this man since I was 13 and we have always had a special friendship. Since he was locked up and didn't have anything better to do but to read, I sent him Tony's book "a woman's influence" along with a few other self-help books. After he read Tony's book he wanted to read Tony's book "Make it Work", so I sent him that book as well. I think things just kind of perfectly fell into a place at a time in his life where he is sick of living an unhappy "grown-boy" life, and doesn't want to end up back in prison (where he was clearly headed). And hearing what Tony says isn't always easy for him to hear, but he always says to me "Tony aint lying." His father wasn't a good father figure or someone to look up to... I think him listening to what Tony has to say is finally, for the first time in his life, hearing some advice thats coming from a "real man". That's why I am so grateful for Tony doing what he does, because without Tony the only man he received advice from and looked up to, was his father (a man that was always terrible to his kids, gone for days or weeks at a time and a serial cheater). Tony's videos spark a lot of deep conversations and I'll never forget him telling me the number one thing his father always told him was to quote "Always have a backup." I think he has realized that is horrible advice for a relationship.
The FIRST 15 min was FIRE🔥🔥! MEN AND WOMEN literally be “CRAZY”, UNHEALED, BATTLING ADDICTIONS , and REALLY THINK that they’re going to be able to participate in a HEALTHY HEALING RELATIONSHIP !?🧐
A man being reasonable is very important in a relationship. My ex was very unreasonable. I tried for years to talk sense int him and it always fell on deaf ears. He was very toxic and mentally unstable. I stayed way too long. Glad I finally got the confidence to leave.
I think we dated the same dude, unfortunately. Went through the same thing. Glad you got away, sis. I also finally got away too unscathed. And, I'm so grateful we got away before more damage could be endured.
i had a hard time with this..i was in relationship with a man who anytime i texted him "hey are you ok i have not heard from u all day? &then i would call to check he would text back "i dont want to talk you are going to f** my mood" it was hurtful at the time & i could not understand it because i was a good women. but oh well his Lost..He had deeper issues that was not a result of me.
Yup I just broke up with my dude for this every time we have a disagreement he shuts down and doesn’t want to talk about what we disagree on like how can we grow if we can’t agree to disagree it’s just very childish to me and I don’t have the time for it so I’ve walked away Communication is key and if we don’t got communication we don’t have anything I’m not teaching a grown boy how to be man if you don’t know how to communicate then you’re not the one for me period
Bruh...This got me to the core. My last relationship ended because I disrespected him and he completely cut me off. I apologized and he forgave me but I lost a good man. I'm glad this happened because I am taking a step back to evaluate and love myself. Thanks for the videos, it really helps with the healing process.
You have the power, knowledge and courage within you to speak your mind and let a man know what's bothering you. You just have to throw away the fear of him getting upset because the one who cares will want to listen, understand and do the work to improve and those who don't do it, don't care so now you who you're dealing with. The quicker you address something, the quicker you will have your answer and not live in fear, holding it all in. If your peace of mind and happiness depend on it, then it's rightfully worth it to speak about it.
@Priscilla yes it does..just yesterday a friend told me 'you are reading too much into things' I thin its simply because he doesnt agree with my opinion or fears its true..I was saying clearly I was ghosted because my legs and home are closed until marriage and the man is living with a woman unmarried..plus I have an opinion..I was telling him plenty of women out there have no opinion..each time I meet a couple its mostly the man who talks to me..and he d say yeah but some men are like that to its a personality they arent submissive..maybe at home they fight with the men you dont know whats happening..true but why do women dont express themselves in public ..and I dont believe they express themselves at all..and that yeah when I meet women at protests , political things..in the end they always agree with my opinion..so it means they ll bend to any man way of things to..easily..but also my opinion is pro woman..so they dont wont voice it and go along..there is no reading too much into things 70% of women are like that I think..they dont express themselves
True but when u communicate, they say ok they will fix it then doesn't make any adjustments repeatedly once u get frustrated in the repeated communication now you overreacting. I don't even do this with my kids.
AMEN! SO TRULY RIGHT! WORDS OF WISDOM! GOD BLESS US ALL! GOD LOVES US ALL! SELF LOVE! BELOVED! LET YR LIGHT 4EVER SHINE BRIGHT! YES INDEED! ENOUGH SAID! THATS IT! AUG 2021
As women we sometimes put me too high on a pedestal. It’s a self esteem issue. But men are human just like we are. Find your worth ladies! Just like we are seeking knowledge on these videos seek knowledge about who you are as a person and woman
I stopped swearing over a year ago and it's amazing how much others will look up to you, it is amazing the higher vibrational music you listen to, it's amazing how much poise you will gain from stopping this habit. it immediately communicates " I have control over my emotions, my emotions don't have control over me". When you also request that others not swear when speaking to you it is an immediate descalator for conflict and i use it often in the work place. Clients will often say to themselves if I cant swear at her I cant do anything else to her either!
i just ended a 6 year relationship with someone who was manipulative he would talk for hours scream and yell at the top of his lungs in a tiny apartment not even letting me get a word out, all my neighbors would hear it and talked about me, he would leave me when i was doing bad are going through a hardship , when i was younger i used to hear black women talk about men all the time and he was a lil bit of every story i have heard , i was 23 when i first got with him now I'm 29 and i feel like i wasted my 20s i was so worried about pleasing and serving him , i felt like i needed him . then i started praying and focusing on myself and my children , and that's when everything changed god put me in a situation where he couldn't even reach me . from a tiny apartment with a narcist now to a 4 bedroom house and a good job. i treated him like a king because i thought it was love the only thing i was really missing was the self love for myself , now I'm happy and doing good but in therapy because I'm choosing to help from all the damage he cause . WOMEN!!!! listen to Tony, learn through others testimonies and people like him trying to put you on...
I like what you said “you cannot negotiate communication” I’ve been watching your videos and it’s helped me greatly in communicating in a healthy and respectful way. Especially when getting to know a man but checking them on communication. I did it correctly and he shifted immediately.
Even at the age of 16 and me being insecure, i stood my ground with the man who ended up be my kids father at age 18, . I told him very confidently that i was not going to stop wearing makeup just because he told me to. He was in a gang but i was not intimidated by him. I believe this is because i wAs raised by a very confident strong mother. Ive always been this way with every man, of every race. I just feel the need to honestly express myself. I cant keep feelings in! You got this ladies!!! 🙏🏻🙌
I needed u when I was 16 first getting together with my toxic ex😭 I’m 19 now& u helped me not go back to him when he came back around, again🙄I believe your videos are going to help me find my husband, thank you for everything ❤️
My daddy taught me from very early on… You don’t dip your head for no body!! “ That’s right. Not nery soul! Except My Lord Jesus! Thank you TG! You always bless us when you bring it!!!!
That’s how the one I was with didn’t want me to have a voice. He did a lot mind control and manipulation . That was our biggest problem I didn’t let him get away with his negative behavior.
Me and boyfriend are on a break (my request). I’ve been watching your teachings and when I’m ready to talk, I can come with the tools needing to TALK. I love him and want it to work but he is not meeting my needs. I feel more confident after watching how to approach THE conversation. Thanks.
I do not appreciate when a man can speak well to his parents and at work professionally but when we speak seriously or candidly there are a lot of "Man" "Man, Come On" or "Ayo what's Up".
Grand Rising.🙌🏾 Edit after listening... I have been guilty of giving honor just because he was the man. Looking like a lost puppy needing a head rub... Had to do that baby powder slap, with a wet hand, to wake up and acknowledge where my real approval comes from. I'm a gift; however, my name is not "toy." We can create the life we desire. Talk or walk...
YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY CORRECT TONY, COMMUNICATION SKILLS REALLY NEED TO BE MORE OPENLY IN A RELATIONSHIP.. I HAVE SEEN SOME GUYS JUST COMPLETELY SHUT A WOMAN OUT OF THEIR LIFE BECUZ OF MAJOR PROBLEMS IN THEIR LIFE 🙌🏾🙌🏾
AMEN! SO TRULY RIGHT! WORDS OF WISDOM! YES INDEED! GOD BLESS US ALL! GOD LOVES US ALL! SELF LOVE! BELOVED! LET YR LIGHT 4EVER SHINE BRIGHT! BLESSED TODAY! THANK U LORD! BE GRATEFUL AND THANKFUL FOR ALL THINGS IN YR LIFE RIGHT NOW! AND FOR EVERYONE IN YR LIFE RIGHT NOW AND ALWAYS! THANK U LORD! PRAY ALWAYS! HOLD ON TO GOD ALWAYS! KEEP GOD FIRST IN YR LIFE RIGHT NOW AND ALWAYS! KEEP YR FAITH! KEEP YR JOY AND HAPPINESS AND PEACE! STAY STRONG! STAY STRONG! STAY CALM! PEACE AND HARMONY TO EVERYONE IN THE WORLD RIGHT NOW! YES INDEED! ENOUGH SAID! THATS IT! AUG 2021
I've been waiting for this "message" Thank you Holy Spirit for giving this message to Tony. There is only one who I'm devoted to and that is the Lord Jesus Christ until I'm married I will not live my life to please, submit to any man.
I am sitting there watching this saying ‘wow On each point he made. Pure wisdom especially about being calm in confrontation. This man knows his stuff.
I’ve had communication issues with the last 2 men I dated. Both times I liked the man and did not want to stop dating them, but I knew I had to. In the past, I would’ve stayed and tried to make it work. Having the knowledge I have now, I know there’s no compromising on communicating
Love that book of seven highly effective people my mum purchased it when i was in my teenage years, that book made me think alot.. and am glad she did buy it.
If both individuals are grown, nothing should not be off topic. Grown people should be able to talk about anything and everything without judgment. That's how you get to know each other without bias. To know where each other stands is crucial in friendship and relationships.
I think that for women, we can confuse a real man ( strong man) with a toxic/ unreasonable/ narrow-minded male. Most women want a leader. The problem is that there are a lot of different types of leaders. When we define & are clear on what type of leader is “healthy “ for you in particular, then we will recognize the crazy, toxic, unreasonable, narrow-minded, immature males early. Healthy for me, may not me healthy for the next. We may not always get it right, but I feel that this should at least be our goal.
I’m over here shouting “ amen, hallelujah, preach it brother” all throughout this video. Lots of good knowledge and motivation. Tony, you make me not want to give up on pursuing a godly relationship that has a strong foundation in which we are cool, calm and collected.
Mr. Gaskins, Thank you for your time and honesty. I sometimes think I already know this but hearing things from your perspective just makes it so much better. May God bless you always.
Hi Mr. Gaskin. Thank you so much for this video, i would like you to know that i don't curse either. Some of my family tend to think that I'm disingenuous or phoney because i always choose to speak without cursing. I get called passive-aggressive, all because i choose to control my behavior. I'm comfortable being aware of myself.
At least I'm not the only one... wow this is refreshing, because cursing is a turn off to me in communication. I just wish more people would upgrade their vocabulary from such small grade school behaviors. When you are mature, you are well aware of how to easily shut someone down without a curse word having to be involved at all. It actually hurts them more, because a person who curses is looking for you to act out of pocket with miniscule language as them, but they don't know how to really combat your calm actions/approach in the disagreement/argument.
Me sitting here for 59 min straight and being single since years like the desert😂😂Working on myself and preparing myself for the beautiful love relationship God have created for me✨🙌🏽thank you tony sending many blessings to you and your family from France!
Mr Gaskins, you are not the only person who does not curse. I am 45 years old and have never cursed. When I was 11 years I decided that there are so much proper English words out there to make someone feel bad. As I got older I learned that it's not about making someone feel bad but like you said, articulate my feelings.
Ooohhhhhh weeee ….. every time my big brother Tony speaks about men , he’s always on point and I always nod my head yes yes yes! I’m Asian and big brother Tony is always spot on.
Emphasis on point 13.. Keep it private It’s much easier said than done but it’s the best approach And if the other person doesn’t want to communicate, sad and unfortunate as that may seem…let them go No more games.. Don’t let any one play with you
Yes . You are on point and schedule. I realized the other day. That the Holy Scriptures doesn't say to submit to all men. It says that we are to have our own husband's and submit to your husband not all males . Awesome. Especially if he isn't a man of GOD
We must be taught how to communicate, how to ask, how to point out what needs to so that provision is made. The man is the bread winner and the woman must advocate for herself and family. The man must listen.
Wow I see and hear mistakes that I have made in my past relationships. Thank you Tony my eyes are open and this is one major part that I got wrong. Thank you so much Tony Gaskins
Thanking God for sending us a Blessed King who shares abundantly!!🙏🏾 Thank you Tony- These messages/ teachings are invaluable- Knowledge seekers, study these lessons.. It will change your life for the better..
Spot on Mr. T !!! Your wisdom on so many subjects is AMAZING 👏. Only wish I heard this message before I jumped into the frying pan. Can't even be mad at you for speaking Truth. Thank you Mr. T!
You don’t have to apologize for your long videos when really you should be charging for ALL OF THIS!! This has helped me tremendously at this point in my journey. I have used many of your tips and saw instant improvements in my interactions with men and most importantly my self love journey. When I do identify and connect with someone that I think is worthy, I’m going to seek your coaching . Thank you
Lmfao yooooo! These hr dialogs Crack me up "degeneration " I was like huh what but the CRAZY part about it I knew wat u was tryna say😭🤣🤣🤣🤣 gwaan big up yuself Mr T
“If you’re dealing with somebody who always shuts down and refuses to work through the issue, ignores you and walks away… the relationship is over. Communication to a relationship is what oxygen is to life. What is life without oxygen? “
Marshall B. Roseberg wrote a book on Non Violent Communication. The formula is to 1. Observe 2. Name the emotion that comes up becouse of what happened 3. The emotion roots off of a value or moral that was satisfied (positive emotion) or not satisfied (negative emotion) 4. Make a question to change the situation for your better/so that it is in intonation/harmony with your desire/values (if the situation is having you feel negative messengers/emotions) Ex. I see a butterfly. I feel happy, becouse I appreciate nature and give value to my time in it. Pedido to myself: I want to spend more time in nature. It is how we communicate with us, that determines how we communicate with others. Be gente but keep moving. Remember, cars need an oil change every now and then. Help is good, when certified. Talk to someone, only be watching Tony videos could be too passive for you, take action. Please remember, you are a beautiful flower and you have blossomed and will blossom again. In autumn leaves fall and that's ok. Take care of your roots, and I urge you all to be gentle to one another. If you are hurt, heal. Hurting others is not the answer, and you know that, becouse if you are a human, hurting others hurts you too. Thank you for reading this far, I hope you cry a lot and release some pain through the tears. Sincerely, Miri
Thank GOD for this man I’m thankful for him and that is facts when Tony said “ People don’t sit down and listen to you until you are willing to walk away felt that💯💯💯🔥 so powerful thanks Tony God continue to bless you and your family and giving us the knowledge we should already know (Grateful)
It’s kinda an amazing thing that kids are catching on and responding. They need the guidance also for future relationships. I allow my teen to watch some and catch the teaching at times, and she doesn’t remember your name, but SHE says, “Mom, are watching the “looseboody901” again?”😂Then she gets comfy to listen?? Thanks Tony. Be blessed.
Thank You Tony Gaskins, I tell my fiance not to ever embarrassed me in public. Wait till we get back home behind closed doors if we have a problem with each other. Please, don't put me on front Street!😂
It was you fighting the air for me, I can nuh! 😂 I died laughing…even had to run it back 😭 why are you so funny. I think you should do stand up on the side because I be weak at your videos and responses.
So true, Its all a choice. You can always so no unless you believe your life is in danger. We live in the flesh and not in faith. True freedom begins when we stop caring what people think.
Hey Mr. Tony, I just ordered my t-shirt. I been waiting a long time for it to be available to the public. I'm so excited and can't wait to get it! "Gon bout yo business" and I just really wanted to support you. I'm not apart of the blessed tribe but.....I have purchased a few of your courses and I have "A woman's influence " that I requested as a Christmas gift, from family and friends. 🤗 I really appreciate the work you do. Many blessings. 🙏🏾
I agree with you Tony! My problem was being disrespectful and I paid the price for sure, I regret acting out and wish I left earlier I’m looking forward to feeling whole again. Ladies if you can’t communicate effectively the relationship is done
On an intellectual level yes I feel like a child around him. It’s kind of complicating things but maybe I’m making it more complicated then it needs to be. I just feel very inadequate in this area and the last thing I want to do is think about my past when an ex of mine randomly blurts out on my Birthday “you’re not that bright?” Who says that? No one should ever flipping say that. But yes I’m still made about that today and how I was treated by this man. 😡 even more mad for letting him treat me this way.
I think we find it hard because deep down inside we want a man’s approval. We have to realize that a man’s approval doesn’t make or break you. You need to love yourself, because you deserve respect too.
💯!👏🏽
That's right!
AMEN! SO TRULY RIGHT! GOD BLESS US ALL! GOD LOVES US ALL! SELF LOVE! BELOVED! LET YR LIGHT 4EVER SHINE BRIGHT! YES INDEED! ENOUGH SAID! THATS IT! AUG 2021
🏆
I agree. I’m learning that all of our issues stem from childhood. A positive male role model literally can make or break the outcome of a child’s life, ESPECIALLY a female. The absence of a father leaves a gaping hole that breeds a rash of emotional trauma. The desperation for that approval stems from that usually imo… I’m speaking from experience unfortunately
Moral of the story: if you can't communicate with your partner or anyone, your relationship is DEAD. PERIOD.
He's just there because he woke up in your bed, no other reason. He does not want you. I've been there.
AMEN! SO TRULY RIGHT! GOD BLESS US ALL! GOD LOVES US ALL! SELF LOVE! BELOVED! LET YR LIGHT 4EVER SHINE BRIGHT!GOD IS OUR EVERYTHING! GOD CAN HANDLE ANYTHING! HOLD ON TO GOD ALWAYS! GOD IS ALWAYS WITH US! GOD WILL SEE US THRU ALL THINGS IN YR LIFE RIGHT NOW AND ALWAYS! GOD WILL NEVER LEAVE U NOR FORSAKE U! PRAY OFTEN AND DAILY TO GOD ALWAYS! GLORY TO GOD ALMIGHTY! TELL THE LORD THANK U FOR THIS BLESSED TODAY! TELL THE LORD THANK U FOR EVERYONE IN YR LIFE RIGHT NOW AND ALWAYS! BE GRATEFUL AND THANKFUL FOR ALL THINGS IN YR LIFE RIGHT NOW! AND FOR EVERYONE IN YR LIFE RIGHT NOW AND ALWAYS! KEEP GOD FIRST IN YR LIFE RIGHT NOW AND ALWAYS! KEEP YR FAITH AND LOVE! KEEP YR JOY AND HAPPINESS AND PEACE! STAY STRONG! STAY POSITIVE! STAY CALM! BE PATIENCE! PEACE AND HARMONY TO EVERYONE IN THE WORLD RIGHT NOW! YES INDEED! ENOUGH SAID! THATS IT! AUG 2021
Period.
👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
This man just gets back from vacation and IMMEDIATELY resumes dropping knowledge 🥲. We don’t deserve you Tony. God bless you and your family! 🌹
!!!!
Facts 🙌🏾
Right!!?? I was just saying his eyes look a little red. I want to say "Tony, take two days off to sleep when you get back. We can wait sir". 😁😊 bless his heart. Good man. 👌🏽😁 I'm here for it though. 😊😊❤
This tho‼️ Thank you so much!
I agree!!
“If you can’t get your man to listen, then I can’t either.” TG
A man's will to listen to what's on your mind, to allow you to express your thoughts, feelings and concerns, to find out what troubles or bothers you, what he could do to improve and make you happier, shows how important you are to him. If he's making you feel like he's on the verge of getting upset everytime you bring these up, cuts the conversations short, says you overreact, exaggerate and only cares about his needs and wants, YOU have to ask yourself why are you continuing to invest in someone who doesn't truly care, love and respect you.
exactly..I can see through such men...I couldnt open my legs to them ..I have a friend like that..I dont invest really..I only have male friends right now..and I cant cut one off that has minor red flags..because he has not been innapropriate towards me..but something is off and he is not transparent..and uncomfortable if I talk about some subjects..I notice all that..they are red flags..
I have decided to hang out alone at a cafe..on top of hanging out with these male friends..was talking to one older male friend too..lol who let me express my thoughts..and told him these 2 other male friends dont let me express my thoughts actually, they try to correct what I want to say or dismiss it..So yeah from now on im eating out on Fridays evening and will sit in a cafe on Saturdays..outside though..could be a deal breaker..as people who d sit outside this winter would mean they didnt get the EU pass with the covid vaccine..Sickening but its another story .
No one approached me but 90% of men passing by were looking at me just by the fact I sat alone doing nothing , not checking my phone and simply drinking my coffee slowly..I dont have to deal with men who cant handle I express my thoughts etc..
same here, sis, how are you doing these days? TONY''S videos are a blessing and it is a blessing to finally wake up from the slumber and show yourself door outta toxic, ungodly environment, outta place where you never been wanted.. we can do better! I hope my message finds you smiling and in the place of peace and improvement. @@irlandaise5631
Great video. I’ve learned that if I feel like I can’t speak freely as a human being in the relationship, then that’s a red flag. That level of anxiety and discomfort shouldn’t be there in a relationship.
💯
Exactly!!! You should feel peaceful and safe. I remember in my last relationship I just got quieter and quieter because speaking my thoughts freely to him felt like walking through a jungle full of trip line wired bombs. Never again
AMEN! SO TRULY RIGHT ! GOD BLESS US ALL! GOD LOVES US ALL! SELF LOVE! BELOVED! LET YR LIGHT 4EVER SHINE BRIGHT! WORDS OF WISDOM! YES INDEED! ENOUGH SAID! THATS IT! AUG 2021
@Joyful n Blessed AMEN! SO TRULY RIGHT! WORDS OF WISDOM! YES INDEED! GOD BLESS US ALL! GOD LOVES US ALL! SELF LOVE! BELOVED! LET YR LIGHT 4EVER SHINE BRIGHT! ENOUGH SAID! THATS IT! AUG 2021
@Joyful n Blessed Yr Welcome. GOD BLESSED!
Present 💜 My 9 year old gone say "MA who is this man, he always on yo TV! 🗣👏🏾🤣
OMG TONY LIKED MY COMMENT😭😭
😩😩
Lol...too cute....tell her " he a life saver babe" 😂😂😂
@@LadieTasha 😂 all in your business!!!
😂
My man and I listen to every video together, and have bought your physical books, and audio books and have listened to them multiple times. Together, we are both working on growing. I will never be able to convey to you how grateful I am for you and all you do Tony. ❤
@@lala5061 No, he isn't black. But honestly I don't think that is why he is willing to listen to Tony with me. I don't think he would have ever listened to Tony with an open mind had he not messed up big with me along with landing himself in jail at the same time. I have known this man since I was 13 and we have always had a special friendship. Since he was locked up and didn't have anything better to do but to read, I sent him Tony's book "a woman's influence" along with a few other self-help books. After he read Tony's book he wanted to read Tony's book "Make it Work", so I sent him that book as well. I think things just kind of perfectly fell into a place at a time in his life where he is sick of living an unhappy "grown-boy" life, and doesn't want to end up back in prison (where he was clearly headed). And hearing what Tony says isn't always easy for him to hear, but he always says to me "Tony aint lying." His father wasn't a good father figure or someone to look up to... I think him listening to what Tony has to say is finally, for the first time in his life, hearing some advice thats coming from a "real man". That's why I am so grateful for Tony doing what he does, because without Tony the only man he received advice from and looked up to, was his father (a man that was always terrible to his kids, gone for days or weeks at a time and a serial cheater). Tony's videos spark a lot of deep conversations and I'll never forget him telling me the number one thing his father always told him was to quote "Always have a backup." I think he has realized that is horrible advice for a relationship.
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The FIRST 15 min was FIRE🔥🔥! MEN AND WOMEN literally be “CRAZY”, UNHEALED, BATTLING ADDICTIONS , and REALLY THINK that they’re going to be able to participate in a HEALTHY HEALING RELATIONSHIP !?🧐
THANK YOU!!! 🔥
It’s the whole video for me
I’m so dumb, I almost married an addict.
A man being reasonable is very important in a relationship. My ex was very unreasonable. I tried for years to talk sense int him and it always fell on deaf ears. He was very toxic and mentally unstable. I stayed way too long. Glad I finally got the confidence to leave.
I think we dated the same dude, unfortunately. Went through the same thing. Glad you got away, sis. I also finally got away too unscathed. And, I'm so grateful we got away before more damage could be endured.
i had a hard time with this..i was in relationship with a man who anytime i texted him "hey are you ok i have not heard from u all day? &then i would call to check he would text back "i dont want to talk you are going to f** my mood" it was hurtful at the time & i could not understand it because i was a good women. but oh well his Lost..He had deeper issues that was not a result of me.
Yup I just broke up with my dude for this every time we have a disagreement he shuts down and doesn’t want to talk about what we disagree on like how can we grow if we can’t agree to disagree it’s just very childish to me and I don’t have the time for it so I’ve walked away Communication is key and if we don’t got communication we don’t have anything I’m not teaching a grown boy how to be man if you don’t know how to communicate then you’re not the one for me period
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Yup I just broke up with mines for the exact same thing smh it’s mentally exhausting ..
Bruh...This got me to the core. My last relationship ended because I disrespected him and he completely cut me off. I apologized and he forgave me but I lost a good man. I'm glad this happened because I am taking a step back to evaluate and love myself. Thanks for the videos, it really helps with the healing process.
"Love is not found it is CREATED."
You have the power, knowledge and courage within you to speak your mind and let a man know what's bothering you. You just have to throw away the fear of him getting upset because the one who cares will want to listen, understand and do the work to improve and those who don't do it, don't care so now you who you're dealing with. The quicker you address something, the quicker you will have your answer and not live in fear, holding it all in. If your peace of mind and happiness depend on it, then it's rightfully worth it to speak about it.
exactly
@Priscilla yes it does..just yesterday a friend told me 'you are reading too much into things' I thin its simply because he doesnt agree with my opinion or fears its true..I was saying clearly I was ghosted because my legs and home are closed until marriage and the man is living with a woman unmarried..plus I have an opinion..I was telling him plenty of women out there have no opinion..each time I meet a couple its mostly the man who talks to me..and he d say yeah but some men are like that to its a personality they arent submissive..maybe at home they fight with the men you dont know whats happening..true but why do women dont express themselves in public ..and I dont believe they express themselves at all..and that yeah when I meet women at protests , political things..in the end they always agree with my opinion..so it means they ll bend to any man way of things to..easily..but also my opinion is pro woman..so they dont wont voice it and go along..there is no reading too much into things 70% of women are like that I think..they dont express themselves
True but when u communicate, they say ok they will fix it then doesn't make any adjustments repeatedly once u get frustrated in the repeated communication now you overreacting. I don't even do this with my kids.
AMEN! SO TRULY RIGHT! WORDS OF WISDOM! GOD BLESS US ALL! GOD LOVES US ALL! SELF LOVE! BELOVED! LET YR LIGHT 4EVER SHINE BRIGHT! YES INDEED! ENOUGH SAID! THATS IT! AUG 2021
As women we sometimes put me too high on a pedestal. It’s a self esteem issue. But men are human just like we are. Find your worth ladies! Just like we are seeking knowledge on these videos seek knowledge about who you are as a person and woman
59 minutes long 🔥 You know he's dropping a good word on this subject
I stopped swearing over a year ago and it's amazing how much others will look up to you, it is amazing the higher vibrational music you listen to, it's amazing how much poise you will gain from stopping this habit. it immediately communicates " I have control over my emotions, my emotions don't have control over me". When you also request that others not swear when speaking to you it is an immediate descalator for conflict and i use it often in the work place. Clients will often say to themselves if I cant swear at her I cant do anything else to her either!
People don't sit down to listen to you until you walk away. Wow...... that was for me
i just ended a 6 year relationship with someone who was manipulative he would talk for hours scream and yell at the top of his lungs in a tiny apartment not even letting me get a word out, all my neighbors would hear it and talked about me, he would leave me when i was doing bad are going through a hardship , when i was younger i used to hear black women talk about men all the time and he was a lil bit of every story i have heard , i was 23 when i first got with him now I'm 29 and i feel like i wasted my 20s i was so worried about pleasing and serving him , i felt like i needed him . then i started praying and focusing on myself and my children , and that's when everything changed god put me in a situation where he couldn't even reach me . from a tiny apartment with a narcist now to a 4 bedroom house and a good job.
i treated him like a king because i thought it was love the only thing i was really missing was the self love for myself , now I'm happy and doing good but in therapy because I'm choosing to help from all the damage he cause . WOMEN!!!! listen to Tony, learn through others testimonies and people like him trying to put you on...
I like what you said “you cannot negotiate communication” I’ve been watching your videos and it’s helped me greatly in communicating in a healthy and respectful way. Especially when getting to know a man but checking them on communication. I did it correctly and he shifted immediately.
Even at the age of 16 and me being insecure, i stood my ground with the man who ended up be my kids father at age 18, . I told him very confidently that i was not going to stop wearing makeup just because he told me to. He was in a gang but i was not intimidated by him. I believe this is because i wAs raised by a very confident strong mother. Ive always been this way with every man, of every race. I just feel the need to honestly express myself. I cant keep feelings in! You got this ladies!!! 🙏🏻🙌
At the end of the day, stay true to self. Give your best. If he still doesn’t hear you- find an exit and don’t look back. Period.
I needed u when I was 16 first getting together with my toxic ex😭 I’m 19 now& u helped me not go back to him when he came back around, again🙄I believe your videos are going to help me find my husband, thank you for everything ❤️
My daddy taught me from very early on… You don’t dip your head for no body!! “
That’s right. Not nery soul! Except My Lord Jesus! Thank you TG! You always bless us when you bring it!!!!
That’s how the one I was with didn’t want me to have a voice. He did a lot mind control and manipulation . That was our biggest problem I didn’t let him get away with his negative behavior.
I don't curse either.....haven't done that since my 20s, I'm now 51. I often think most people do. Great video as always.
Me and boyfriend are on a break (my request). I’ve been watching your teachings and when I’m ready to talk, I can come with the tools needing to TALK. I love him and want it to work but he is not meeting my needs. I feel more confident after watching how to approach THE conversation. Thanks.
I do not appreciate when a man can speak well to his parents and at work professionally but when we speak seriously or candidly there are a lot of "Man" "Man, Come On" or "Ayo what's Up".
Grand Rising.🙌🏾 Edit after listening... I have been guilty of giving honor just because he was the man. Looking like a lost puppy needing a head rub... Had to do that baby powder slap, with a wet hand, to wake up and acknowledge where my real approval comes from. I'm a gift; however, my name is not "toy." We can create the life we desire. Talk or walk...
YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY CORRECT TONY, COMMUNICATION SKILLS REALLY NEED TO BE MORE OPENLY IN A RELATIONSHIP.. I HAVE SEEN SOME GUYS JUST COMPLETELY SHUT A WOMAN OUT OF THEIR LIFE BECUZ OF MAJOR PROBLEMS IN THEIR LIFE 🙌🏾🙌🏾
God bless Tony Gaskins, his wife, and two beautiful children! Thank you for living in your purpose, and following God's command.
Thanks for speaking on this topic . Without communication there is no relationship
Tony you are always right on time, God bless you!!!
ABSOLUTELY!!!!!
AMEN! SO TRULY RIGHT! WORDS OF WISDOM! YES INDEED! GOD BLESS US ALL! GOD LOVES US ALL! SELF LOVE! BELOVED! LET YR LIGHT 4EVER SHINE BRIGHT! BLESSED TODAY! THANK U LORD! BE GRATEFUL AND THANKFUL FOR ALL THINGS IN YR LIFE RIGHT NOW! AND FOR EVERYONE IN YR LIFE RIGHT NOW AND ALWAYS! THANK U LORD! PRAY ALWAYS! HOLD ON TO GOD ALWAYS! KEEP GOD FIRST IN YR LIFE RIGHT NOW AND ALWAYS! KEEP YR FAITH! KEEP YR JOY AND HAPPINESS AND PEACE! STAY STRONG! STAY STRONG! STAY CALM! PEACE AND HARMONY TO EVERYONE IN THE WORLD RIGHT NOW! YES INDEED! ENOUGH SAID! THATS IT! AUG 2021
I've been waiting for this "message" Thank you Holy Spirit for giving this message to Tony. There is only one who I'm devoted to and that is the Lord Jesus Christ until I'm married I will not live my life to please, submit to any man.
I am sitting there watching this saying ‘wow On each point he made. Pure wisdom especially about being calm in confrontation. This man knows his stuff.
I like the analogy for responding vs reacting
This is my kind of Power Hour 💎
The last 5 minutes are everything!!!
I’ve had communication issues with the last 2 men I dated. Both times I liked the man and did not want to stop dating them, but I knew I had to. In the past, I would’ve stayed and tried to make it work. Having the knowledge I have now, I know there’s no compromising on communicating
LORD JESUS! I receive this word today. I will apply all this knowledge to my life. Keep Brother Tony in your Grace....
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TG....YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW YOU SAVED MY LIFE.... 🙏
Blessings
Thank you CK 👍💖
@@beefaye6861 you got it
I'm here for my teachings ✍🏾✍🏾
These teachings have helped me tremendously in my dating life
"30hrs of flying to get here. And y'all come here on this beautiful beach to argahh?"🤣🤣🤣
My mind is blown by the amount of information he is giving! No one should go into relationships without understanding themselves first.
“Uh oh he done reposted the man with stuff spinning on the desk” 🥴🤣 luv it Tony
Love that book of seven highly effective people my mum purchased it when i was in my teenage years, that book made me think alot.. and am glad she did buy it.
If both individuals are grown, nothing should not be off topic. Grown people should be able to talk about anything and everything without judgment. That's how you get to know each other without bias. To know where each other stands is crucial in friendship and relationships.
These hour talks gives me so much knowledge and a different insight on how to be better when the times come for me to be in a relationship.
I think that for women, we can confuse a real man ( strong man) with a toxic/ unreasonable/ narrow-minded male. Most women want a leader. The problem is that there are a lot of different types of leaders. When we define & are clear on what type of leader is “healthy “ for you in particular, then we will recognize the crazy, toxic, unreasonable, narrow-minded, immature males early. Healthy for me, may not me healthy for the next. We may not always get it right, but I feel that this should at least be our goal.
I’m over here shouting “ amen, hallelujah, preach it brother” all throughout this video. Lots of good knowledge and motivation. Tony, you make me not want to give up on pursuing a godly relationship that has a strong foundation in which we are cool, calm and collected.
This is the type of video that will be watched multiple times & is going in the 'watch later' playlist as a reminder there as well! 🙌
I needed this word...bring it on brother Tony! This message is right on time. I'm ready for my daily growth
Mr. Gaskins,
Thank you for your time and honesty. I sometimes think I already know this but hearing things from your perspective just makes it so much better. May God bless you always.
Hi Mr. Gaskin. Thank you so much for this video, i would like you to know that i don't curse either. Some of my family tend to think that I'm disingenuous or phoney because i always choose to speak without cursing. I get called passive-aggressive, all because i choose to control my behavior. I'm comfortable being aware of myself.
At least I'm not the only one... wow this is refreshing, because cursing is a turn off to me in communication. I just wish more people would upgrade their vocabulary from such small grade school behaviors. When you are mature, you are well aware of how to easily shut someone down without a curse word having to be involved at all. It actually hurts them more, because a person who curses is looking for you to act out of pocket with miniscule language as them, but they don't know how to really combat your calm actions/approach in the disagreement/argument.
Me sitting here for 59 min straight and being single since years like the desert😂😂Working on myself and preparing myself for the beautiful love relationship God have created for me✨🙌🏽thank you tony sending many blessings to you and your family from France!
At 33 ..Omg the way you act out the fighting is hilarious🤣🤣🤣, I'm in actual tears even though the actual situation being explained isnt funny..
I don't curse either, Tony.
That last part at the end was gold. Thanks for the reminder.
Just what I needed! Bless you 🙏🏾
I don't curse either. I realized people have a greater respect level for me.
Yes! Listen to this AGAIN…. I had to replay min 27:36. He has all the Answers to my Questions 🙏🏽🙏🏽 Bless this man
Mr Gaskins, you are not the only person who does not curse. I am 45 years old and have never cursed. When I was 11 years I decided that there are so much proper English words out there to make someone feel bad. As I got older I learned that it's not about making someone feel bad but like you said, articulate my feelings.
Ooohhhhhh weeee ….. every time my big brother Tony speaks about men , he’s always on point and I always nod my head yes yes yes!
I’m Asian and big brother Tony is always spot on.
Emphasis on point 13..
Keep it private
It’s much easier said than done but it’s the best approach
And if the other person doesn’t want to communicate, sad and unfortunate as that may seem…let them go
No more games..
Don’t let any one play with you
When a woman is in the dark where a man is hiding a relationship and doing things behind your back, betrayal is real .
This was filled with SO MANY GEMS!!!!! The reset got 2019/2020 Tony vibes lol!!! 🔥🔥🔥🔥
Yes . You are on point and schedule. I realized the other day. That the Holy Scriptures doesn't say to submit to all men. It says that we are to have our own husband's and submit to your husband not all males . Awesome. Especially if he isn't a man of GOD
We must be taught how to communicate, how to ask, how to point out what needs to so that provision is made.
The man is the bread winner and the woman must advocate for herself and family. The man must listen.
Wow I see and hear mistakes that I have made in my past relationships. Thank you Tony my eyes are open and this is one major part that I got wrong. Thank you so much Tony Gaskins
Thanking God for sending us a Blessed King who shares abundantly!!🙏🏾 Thank you Tony- These messages/ teachings are invaluable- Knowledge seekers, study these lessons.. It will change your life for the better..
Spot on Mr. T !!! Your wisdom on so many subjects is AMAZING 👏. Only wish I heard this message before I jumped into the frying pan. Can't even be mad at you for speaking Truth. Thank you Mr. T!
You told me about myself and some things I need to work on with myself as well as in my relationship. I sent this to my boyfriend as well
You don’t have to apologize for your long videos when really you should be charging for ALL OF THIS!! This has helped me tremendously at this point in my journey. I have used many of your tips and saw instant improvements in my interactions with men and most importantly my self love journey. When I do identify and connect with someone that I think is worthy, I’m going to seek your coaching . Thank you
Weaker means we are delicate; fearfully and wonderfully made. ❤️🥰
I needed this🙏🏽
Tony, you are so right. That’s why I lost my guy. I didn’t know.
When we know better we do better. Thank you Tony!!!
Lmfao yooooo! These hr dialogs Crack me up "degeneration " I was like huh what but the CRAZY part about it I knew wat u was tryna say😭🤣🤣🤣🤣 gwaan big up yuself Mr T
“If you’re dealing with somebody who always shuts down and refuses to work through the issue, ignores you and walks away… the relationship is over. Communication to a relationship is what oxygen is to life. What is life without oxygen? “
I love hearing what you have to say. I'm single and improving, thank you!!!! God bless you king.
Mr, Gaskins. I've ur books "Make It Work and "A Woman's Influence" Amazing!! Well done Sir!!
Marshall B. Roseberg wrote a book on Non Violent Communication.
The formula is to
1. Observe
2. Name the emotion that comes up becouse of what happened
3. The emotion roots off of a value or moral that was satisfied (positive emotion) or not satisfied (negative emotion)
4. Make a question to change the situation for your better/so that it is in intonation/harmony with your desire/values (if the situation is having you feel negative messengers/emotions)
Ex.
I see a butterfly. I feel happy, becouse I appreciate nature and give value to my time in it. Pedido to myself: I want to spend more time in nature.
It is how we communicate with us, that determines how we communicate with others.
Be gente but keep moving.
Remember, cars need an oil change every now and then.
Help is good, when certified.
Talk to someone, only be watching Tony videos could be too passive for you, take action.
Please remember, you are a beautiful flower and you have blossomed and will blossom again.
In autumn leaves fall and that's ok.
Take care of your roots, and I urge you all to be gentle to one another.
If you are hurt, heal.
Hurting others is not the answer, and you know that, becouse if you are a human, hurting others hurts you too.
Thank you for reading this far, I hope you cry a lot and release some pain through the tears.
Sincerely,
Miri
I'm late, but soaking in the knowledge ! Thank you Tony!
Thank GOD for this man I’m thankful for him and that is facts when Tony said “ People don’t sit down and listen to you until you are willing to walk away felt that💯💯💯🔥 so powerful thanks Tony God continue to bless you and your family and giving us the knowledge we should already know (Grateful)
It’s kinda an amazing thing that kids are catching on and responding. They need the guidance also for future relationships. I allow my teen to watch some and catch the teaching at times, and she doesn’t remember your name, but SHE says, “Mom, are watching the “looseboody901” again?”😂Then she gets comfy to listen??
Thanks Tony. Be blessed.
I never curse, i'm super over thoughtful about what i say out loud because it's in my nature not to hurt or offend others
That Make It Work was a whole blessing. I'm single but I still read it and it's a gem 💎
Thank You Tony Gaskins, I tell my fiance not to ever embarrassed me in public. Wait till we get back home behind closed doors if we have a problem with each other. Please, don't put me on front Street!😂
It was you fighting the air for me, I can nuh! 😂 I died laughing…even had to run it back 😭 why are you so funny. I think you should do stand up on the side because I be weak at your videos and responses.
I am over here cracking thee heck up 😭😭😭! I appreciate Tony's wisdom and humor!
Lol that’s my birthday too! Thank you for the message you shared overall!🙏🏾
So true, Its all a choice. You can always so no unless you believe your life is in danger. We live in the flesh and not in faith. True freedom begins when we stop caring what people think.
The outright wisdom you so freely access is amazing! I am grateful to be in your audience.
Give her a "safe space to speak"
Hi Tony you are on point sometimes the man is hard headed and don't like to listen
Hey Mr. Tony, I just ordered my t-shirt. I been waiting a long time for it to be available to the public. I'm so excited and can't wait to get it! "Gon bout yo business" and I just really wanted to support you. I'm not apart of the blessed tribe but.....I have purchased a few of your courses and I have "A woman's influence " that I requested as a Christmas gift, from family and friends. 🤗 I really appreciate the work you do. Many blessings. 🙏🏾
I agree with you Tony! My problem was being disrespectful and I paid the price for sure, I regret acting out and wish I left earlier I’m looking forward to feeling whole again. Ladies if you can’t communicate effectively the relationship is done
Thank you everyday I have space to grow . This message is right on time. Stay blessed
This was so good. Thank you!
“He reposted the man video that be sitting in the dark with things spinning on his desk.” 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂
The part about "all the women in the peanut gallery". Priceless!
Needed to hear this thank you.
On an intellectual level yes I feel like a child around him. It’s kind of complicating things but maybe I’m making it more complicated then it needs to be. I just feel very inadequate in this area and the last thing I want to do is think about my past when an ex of mine randomly blurts out on my Birthday “you’re not that bright?” Who says that? No one should ever flipping say that. But yes I’m still made about that today and how I was treated by this man. 😡 even more mad for letting him treat me this way.