makeup & femininity as a trans man
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- Опубликовано: 4 июл 2024
- here's the video that sparked some of my thoughts abt this!:
• Black trans women ARE ...
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"...when I put on makeup like this, I don't care if people look at me and think that's a man in drag or that's a woman. I care if I look in the mirror and think "That's me.""
As a punk trans girl, I have a really similar experience with my masculinity. I oftentimes feel like people won't "take me seriously" as a trans woman because I don't pass enough to look quite feminine enough to pull off the look. Honestly, exclusionists ain't shit though and really I think it's really great that other people are sharing their experiences with similar subjects. Thank you so much :)
Thanks so much for your comment because I have a related experience. (I'm a trans girl) but I struggle with femininity, because I want to be perceived as a girl, but I still have internalized toxic masculinity (and just overall issues with confidence) so I'm scared of femininity, which I'm sure a lot of that is internalised trans/queerphobia too.
give me your garbage i am non binary and identitfy as female and repressed it for years and denied the feelings for years and came out and also i wear light clothing such as pink and orange and nail polish i identitfy as a women female .
we stan a king
fax no printer
We also stan a themperor
We had a similar experience with internally rejecting things deemed "feminine" because we didn't want to be perceived as feminine. I hated pink, dresses, makeup, etc because deep down I knew I wasn't a cis girl. I still am uncomfortable with dresses because I'm completely pre-transition (I came out about a month ago to my parents) and they make me dysphoric. But I have learned that pink and makeup are actually totally rad!
I can’t wait till I reach that point :) I have practically the same experience as you
You came out with this video at a really great time for me, as I've become more conscious about how I enjoy femininity despite being trans masc. As a kid I never really had a "not like other girls" phase that a lot of other trans guys seem to have had. I was indifferent to being a girl? It wasn't distressing, and the line between what made girls and boys different was super blurred to me. I knew I liked the idea of being a boy, of being seen as one, but I didn't really make a big deal of it until I became more knowledgeable about the nonbinary community.
I'm realizing I want to wear extravagant makeup. I wanna wear croptops and fishnets. I like painting my nails. And because of this I was questioning if I really am trans masc. But I realized that I still really enjoy being perceived as something similar to a guy. I had to conceptualize it in the same way of "if a cis man can do it, so can i" and that enjoying femininity and the way I may present doesn't necessarily equate to my gender.
This is so euphoric. I'm enby, and I love appearing femme while still wanting a masc body. I haven't done any medical stuff, but this is making me feel heard, and that I should try messing around with my expression more often. Also, you look more manly when you wear makeup, and I'm so here for it.
same except i just do makeup a lot anyway basically bc ik that i never pass at not a woman even when i try really hard so what’s the point (i am going to take medical steps that will make me appear less female but i haven’t been able to yet and that shouldn’t stop me from doing makeup)
Yes, same! I always have just wanted to look like a pretty boy, but unfortunately it feels like I have to juggle the different parts of my expression be both taken seriously and comfortable. I've been told I have a "masculine energy" (whatever the hell that means) so that makes me feel slightly more comfortable, but still, it's always a fear.
ugh as an afab nonbinary person i fought myself for yearsss bc i thought since i liked makeup and a lot of other feminine things i had to b a girl.. i still struggle w it a little bit but im getting there haha :)
hi, i don't know who you are but i'm happy you're slowly getting there with being comfortable with you gender identity! always remember that no matter what anyone says, the way you express yourself does not invalidate your gender identity since societal norms only work for some people, not all. good luck and stay healthy!!
My friend was generally trying to understand when I was explaining how I felt, i was like, i feel like a gay man... like a very fem guy... they were like... ok but like isnt you being a girl like every fem males dream.... rip me
Uugh, this is exactly how I feel and it's so annoying to try to explain that your gender and how feminine or masculine you are aren't the same thing.
Like why are cis men allowed to be feminine and still be considered men, but as soon as a trans person does that their gender identity is invalid?
This is how i feel to and its extremely confusing for me and everyone else
Thank you for clarifying this, as a trans man I wondered how trans femme men feel this way
I did and still do reffer to myself and my gender experience as "twink" or "baddie twink" ever since I figured I was a fem-androgynous transmasc/agender boy, so I feel you a lot
funny thing is ever since very young I would sometimes be hyperaware of how much I got "gay boy" vibes, and I only felt uncomfortable about it when I thought about what gender I was assigned as at birth, then I tried to be less feminine
I'm a nb transmasc person who's into stereotypical "feminine" things (like cute stuff, make-up and pastel colors). I'm pre transition and would really like to pass as male, so most times I have to stick to masculine clothing. But once I'm further in my transition, I'm sure I'd be a lot more comfortable with "feminine" things, similar to what you said.
This got me thinking about my own femininity. I used to just wear what i wanted, i wore very masc clothes and very femme clothes. I just didn't care. But as i got older and started realizing i was different i started forcing that stuff away. I didn't wear anything with flowers or pinks or purples even though i loved it because i was trying to compensate for my feminine body. I always wanted to wear makeup but i told myself that i wasn't a princess and didn't need it. And when i realized i was trans it didn't change because now i was making myself seem masculine so when i eventually came out i had a shield keeping people from invalidating me. I didn't want to be feminine because i was scared people would say something like "if you're a boy why did you wear a dress?" Even when my parents were super accepting of other people i was so stuck in the mentality that i didn't try to be feminine anyways. When i finally came out a lot changed. I realized i didn't have to compensate for my body's lack of masculinity. I started wearing skirts and playing with makeup. I kind of confused my parents because i was super masc when i was a "girl" but was now androgynous when i said i was trying to be a boy. Now im learning to accept my femininity as i learned to accept my masculinity when i first found i was trans.
I'm a goth trans man too, I always hung out with cis goth men wearing make-up, for me it's normal.
There is girl make-up and boy make-up though. Black and dark colours, harsh eyeliner under the eyes are masculine (Jack Sparrow, lol !), pastel colours and mascara feminine... But it too is a gendered convention!
I'm goth too, and you're right lol, take for example Jake Munro, he's a "manly", straight man, and wears makeup. Makeup is for everyone and it can be masculine too (I love Jack Sparrow haha my baby)
(I'm a trans guy) Yesterday I just got the first skirt I've owned since really started my transition. It felt so fucking good being able to feel comfortable in my femininity and feel comfortable in feminine clothes as a guy in them instead of a girl.
As a cis pansexual guy I like feeling femininit I wear femininit clothing and make up ..
I'm a 6'2 over 250 pounds of teddy bear , but a lot of people get shocked because I manly wear work clothes with boots ..
My cute trans guy friend wears mostly femininit clothing because he's more comfortable wearing them..his still pre hormones so he has more femininit figure..but does switch up and wears guy clothes.
I call him handsome every day.
Hey Ashton, love this video. I too have an interesting relationship with makeup. As a kid I never wanted to wear make up b/c the idea of it made me very uncomfortable and I knew that from the few times I let friends put make up on me (more from social pressure). In a weird way it made me feel like I was being forced into a costume that was very alien to me (my own feelings and not at all how I feel about other people who wear make up). I also had bad times with makeup because it was always suggested in a way of why don’t you want to do this, that seemed to equate makeup to being pretty and presentable when I on my own I felt okay and good being androgynous and was distressed when it was implied that I was wrong unless I was feminine or that I wasn’t me unless I was dressed in femininely. I felt invisible even when I insisted that liked the way I looked and that I was comfortable. I didn’t hate make up or dresses but it made me mad when it was put on me in a way that implied something about me was wrong. It was like no one wanted to listen to me and it was subtle suggestions that made me upset but I got upset then I was being too sensitive or whatever. But, now in my adult life that I’m out as non-binary and with that has come peace of mind. I’m more comfortable with things like jewelry and I’d like to learn make up but like do it a gender confusing way if that makes sense. I don’t want to be perceived as either a guy or girl and usually I’m not (thankfully) but I also want to fun with my appearance. Sorry that’s so long but I hope makes sense (I’m very hard on myself for I word things)
I think also it’s important to point out that I don’t think I’d be as comfortable with feminine things if I was misgendered more. But because I’m not I think I feel more comfortable exploring different styles more and feeling safe to do so
"i dont want to be othered by othered people, i want to be othered by myself" THIS...!!! THIS STRUCK HOME!!! TToTT this is how i've always felt, especially while i was in school. i tried really hard to project that through really flashy and flamboyant makeup and obviously it had mixed results, but looking like an alternative alien made of glitter made me feel so happy. thank you so much for talking about your experiences with this!!
i'm a femboy, i like pink, i like more " kawaii " things and pastel things. i'm the opposite of goth. i like feminine clothing and things like that. but i'm trans too, am i still valid..? i just want to be valid, i want to be a femboy and be myself but i'm so afraid people will only view me as a girl. can i still be a boy? i don't feel like a girl by being in those things. before i learned i was trans, i was a tomboy and just felt more like a girl by wearing more tomboy-ish stuff ( this was long before i found out i had gender dysphoria. i was younger than 10 ). but now that i'm a boy and transgender, i feel like a boy when i wear the feminine stuff too. it bothers me everyday and it has been for months now, i don't wanna be a girl at all. thinking of going back to that lifestyle just makes me feel so uncomfortable and scared, it feels so much more relaxing to be able to go by boy pronouns and feel like a boy, even if i'm wearing feminine things. i don't feel like a girl at all when i wear it and i don't feel like a girl when i tell people i'm a femboy. i just wanna be a feminine boy, not a girl.
You're 100% valid. I had a similar experience. I could identify as a femboy but I can be masc at times so I just say GNC, but I too am a trans guy who expresses in femininity. We exist. You're fine, love.
@@C_And_P hello I got a question what if as a trans boy who wants to be feminine do we have to take testosterone or we don’t have to because I don’t wanna seem as a girl just as a boy and feminine only just as a pretty boy if you get it ?
@@BearyBoo-tv4vx You do have to take T but you can ask for micro dosage. It wouldn't make sense for a guy to not want to look like a guy, right? Even if you're feminine. Hope this made sense. If you take it in micro dosage, it will be a much slower process.
@@C_And_P ooh alright ty🤗 because i just wanna take things slowly tho
Yeah, pretty much all the guys I've looked up to since I was... 13? Have worn makeup. Either because they were musicians (I think pretty much all "alternative" subcultures have a history of guyliner), or because they were actors. When all your heroes wear some form of makeup regardless of gender, it's hard to keep seeing it as a feminine thing.
Every time I get the notification that Ashton posted my entire spirit rejuvenates 🥺
It’s also a good note tho that your linear transmasc narrative is not the only transmasc narrative and that it’s important to deconstruct these narratives
Ashtonnn ily your videos helped me so much with finding myself
I love guys with makeup and stuff.
"I'm a guy, don't be surprised
If I take my time to glamorize
No reason why that I can't try
To line my eyes, it feels so right"
bravo!!! mi amigo
This is exactly how I was when I didn’t know I was trans. I hate and still hate being related to anything a girl would be related to. But I’m learning to accept it. But I have a friend who tries to make me look a girl or points out my painted nails and eyeliner to say I’m being a girly girl. So it’s gotten hard but I’m working on it. And I can’t wait until I’m like you, and can fully accept myself.
Men (especially trans men) who are comfortable with wearing feminine makeup and clothes are so inspiring to me like ugh I wanna be able to do that someday and not care
yeah, do it. I like it on men ;)
Being mostly attracted to men actually helped me express my own femininity while also knowing I'm a man. It's sort of like "I'm queer anyway so I can do whatever I want!" Still, it'd be nice if you weren't instantly seen as a queer guy for expressing some form of femininity, even if it's just so that straight guys can experiment with makeup too, without feeling uncomfortable about what message that sends. Which is not to say that being queer is a bad thing, not in the slightest. But no one wants to be seen as something they're not.
A lot of guys would be into feminine trans men. Guys have always been very adventurous.
I actually can relate with using goth subculture as a shield to explain away things like wearing makeup, painting my nails, wearing skirts even to a degree allowing myself to act a bit more feminine. Probably even tricked myself a bit, it all felt alot more comfortable and natural than dressing and acting more typically masculine ever did.
After comming out as a trans man I didn't think I could wear regular makeup (I still cosplay alot) anymore and really just kinda forced myself not to wear it, which lead me to later be genuinely uncomfortable with the thought of having it on again, but one time after messing around with my gf and having her put lipstick on me, I really liked it. And I realized I kinda missed it. I immediately got worried that people would think that I wasn't trans after all, but I soon realized, when I tried the same lipstick on again at home and I didn't feel so comfortable with it anymore, that it was because with my girlfriend I am accepted as male and there's no question of it, so I felt comfortable with make up but at home, they still very much doubt my gender identity so it felt uncomfortable to wear it. But even after I had all that in order I still didn't really feel very confident in it, simply because I knew they wouldn't understand and I still can't really wear regular makeup at home without having my anxiety shoot through the roof. But after seeing this video I'm glad to know I'm not the only guy going through this kinda stuff. Thanks for putting this out there, it really is nice to know, you're not alone.🖤
This perspective is super helpful and affirming for me as I struggle to figure out my feelings, fears, and needs. Thank you.
I also,,, love this video and I feel literally the exact same way as a transman about all of this 🥺
I also used the whole "I'm gay" thing to cover up being trans, but I'm mostly straight now 😭😭😭
I am also trans and I like pretty clothes, I don't think of them as a "girl" thing
this was incredibly relevant and helpful for me. Love your videos Ashton :)
thank you for sharing this
"Im not like other girls"
Wait, I'm not other girls
...
"I'm not like other boys."
love the freckles, they really suit you
Just found your channel and I’m super glad I did. This is a great video and I can’t wait to see more!
You express yourself really good, liked hearing your thoughts and your thoughtful personality
This video really helped me figure out some things about makeup/nail polish and now I feel so much clarity. I used to be the exact same way about makeup when I was a kid even though I really like it. I've been going through a tough time trying to figure out how I feel about it but this video really made me realize that I love makeup and I can still be a man while wearing some rockin eyeliner. Thank you so much Ashton, I know you probably hear this a lot but your videos really help me think and I'm so happy I can watch them.
I've been watching you for like a week now and I'm so shook about how much I relate to your gender experience! I've always felt really alone in feeling like this so thank you so much for sharing :D
God I relate to u so much. I’m so grateful for u 🥺💜
I love your outlook on life.
This was honestly good to hear. It made me think about things I’ve been struggling with surrounding myself and my expression. It was good brain food I guess lol.
Thank you so much for this. Love your hair :^)
This video is just so good.
this video spoke to me so hard and i relate to this experience so bad
I LOVE YOUR VOICE OMGGGG
This is really relatable
This is a beautiful character progression
beautiful make up
I'm so glad I found this video. I have been trying to put into words how I feel as a goth/metalhead and beginning my transition. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and experience friend. From a fellow goth trans bean
Thank you so much 🥺
Your soul is gorgeous 🎉and your face art!!! I feel these thoughts to the core
I like the way you look Ashton regardless
I hate how there's so much pressure for trans guys to be super masculine and follow every gender role like wtf -_- but as my nan says, all clothes are unisex it doesn't matter 😌
Okay. I'm loving this content. As a GNC trans guy, I've dealt with similar issues. As a cis girl, it was dysphoric as hell and off being feminine but as a trans guy, I'm learning to accept and love feminine expression again (while also expressing masc as well). Internalized transphobia + toxic masculinity is a bitch. It's strange how sometimes you explain word for word how I feel/felt as well despite being different things like your bi/biphobia/internalized video and going under the pan label the same way I related with my homophobia/internalized homophobia and previously going under the pan label due to being trans.
ilyyy ur such a pretty boy
Dude I love you so much, also we have like the same haircut
How the hell did I find another jojo fan...
Honestly thank you so much for this video. I’m having a trans crisis and this really helped :)
when you were talking about your childhood it literally sounded exactly like mine!!! holy shit im realizing so much now and why im literally terrified of doing ANYTHING "feminine", like makeup. oh my god literally thank you so much dude!! i always knew and still know that no matter what i do or wear that i am still a man but i was still scared of it, not because of everyones perception of me, but another reason. and that reason is ME. im holding myself back from doing things that i want to do! thank you so so so much dude.. when i turn 18 and move out (since my mom forces masculinity onto me bc i told her im trans and i tried to be as masculine as possible for about a year and she thinks im still llike that lol) ima do all of this "feminine" stuff and no one can stop me
Hi! A fem trans man here, I love ur necklaces, I have a similar bird skull pendant, thank you so much for making this video!
i relate to this video a lot, although im not medically transitioned at all im beginning to express myself more because even if i dont like how i am now i can have fun with my appearance and i think if my reflection is interesting enough i can be happier with just living my life
I'm transmasc and the way you described your feelings with femininity and makeup before knowing you're trans perfectly mirror how I felt. I'm still pre-everything and scared of wearing makeup, but I hope one day I can get the confidence you have to express myself in more feminine ways.
My Nan's accepting but she asked me how "people know they're trans and not just feminine/masculine" etc. and I showed her this video and although it's not directed at a cis audience, and I had to explain some stuff, it did help get that across to her, so thanks!
Very interested in the feminine side of Trans like this. Leads the fallen vlogs are interesting and amusing 😊
I am a 24 year old trans man and i just wish i had met you when i was your age, i would have felt so so much more comfortable doing the things i wanted to do, i'm still working to be as confident as you are and listening to your videos while i do my makeup has helped a lot.
You look amazing 😍
I tried for a solid 2 weeks to find you but I couldn't remember your name to save my life hi Ashton
Goth and punk is a godsend and #fucktoxicmasculinity also realized i was trans when i was like from 18-20 ish
This is so freaking cool, idk if I want to express my self as that as a trans guy or if I just really like it but that is so freaking cool and I kinda wanna try make up on now. Thanks for posting this even tho I’m a year late lamo
I want to wear makeup but I don't want to get misgendered or made fun of at school. I just want to look cool and masculine with some sexy eyeliner 😔
I’m starting to question. I’m a born-female person, but I’ve never really felt like I related to other women. I’ve always been physically attracted to women, and I’ve sort of self-identified as lesbian for the last few years. But recently I’ve been realising that I don’t exactly feel like the cis woman I was born as, even though I present as a very feminine female, I don’t exactly feel like a woman mentally. I’m starting to think I might be trans, but I know I don’t exactly want to be confined to cis-male conformity, either, I think I’de like to be a femme guy if I was one. 🤔 😂 Hope I’m making sense. ❤️
maybe. But not every woman is the same as well. You don't need to be super feminine. It's complicated :D
I am an afab enby. I also definitely had that phase, but when I started high school - due to past trauma - I realized I craved the attention I got when I dressed femininely. Even if that's not how I wanted to present myself.
Sometimes it made me feel pretty, other times dysphoric, but at least I felt wanted. Plus, every time I dressed hyperfeminine it was to prove women are smart too. That's my biggest issue, as an afab enby who hasn't had anything done surgically, I experience a lot of misogyny and I always want to speak about my experiences with misogyny, it's a need for me to do so.
I was torn between my morals and my own identity. Am I a walking social experiment about femininity or a person?
The way I was able to marry these conflicting feelings was by seeing and expressing myself femininely as a way of Drag.
These are such good thoughts. I deeply want to be able to present semi-fem, but haven't because of fear that people will perceive my gender as fake because of it. The awkward thing is, with my gender how it is (I'm nonbinary), I'm not comfortable presenting as 100% masc either. I don't want to present just fem or just masc, but I want to do bits of both. The want to present as fem is slightly stronger, but at the same time, I'm more scared of presenting as fem because of both dysphoria and because people will use it to misgender me more.
I really appreciate you sharing your experience as a GNC trans person! It's been a journey, but for me, being fem is becoming a bit easier once I begun considering my femininity GNC rather than "acting like I'm a girl." Thank you for all your words, they really help me come into & understand myself
I find a lot of this relatable and have been thinking about it a lot lately. Embracing my non-binary, gender void identity has helped me be a more accepting being.
the subtitles say “cis head” instead of cishet which is hilarioussss also ur eyeliner looks amazing
non-binary trans guy here, i recently got into “feminine” style a little. family, old hs friends and strangers online treat me as a soft boy or even “i miss the old you aka i miss when i thought you were cis” which sucks. and it angers those same people when i dress masc which is my go-to
your so cute!!
after being a kpop fan for years, i learned to assume that masculine people wearing makeup was fine (which it totally is!)
Same
I find makeup to be gender neutral actually, and this is how it was historically done. For example, Egypt and Mesopotamia, everyone wore makeup of all genders. Especially, eyeliner (kohl).
For me I wanted to be a boy at 5 -6 but did not know what trans was and kept it to myself. I hated feminine stuff for awhile. After being sexually abused by men, I went through the trauma by studying feminism, and saw feminine as strong, unlearning all that culture nonsense. But I went through an extremely misandric phase, though I can say this has to do with the trauma rather than my gender.
I think the sexual abuse and all the abuse I suffered in general stifled my realization that I was transgender and am a boy on the inside, which is why it took so long to come out. I tried hard to be feminine sometimes because I also suffer from PCOS and side effects like hair. People called me names, including ugly a lot when I was female presenting.
Over time I realized I am transmasc, then I realized I am just a man. It is because of the abuse I spent along time not being myself because my family wouldn't let me which is why I was obessed with being a cis female that I was not and dressing feminine. (Kind of like a man who thinks he may be gay, so obessively spends time trying to be heteronormative and presenting.)
Don't get me wrong I have non-binary aspects, but I am pretty masculine.
Also, purple is one of my fave colors and I do not understand how it got to be a "girl's color" because I think it's bunk. I still wear it as a man.
May be triggering to some people, but have you ever just sat there, playing halo, when you have the sudden realization you will never be content living your life as a woman? Cause goddamn the dysphoria hit.
I have a similar experience... but I ended up over-performing femininity, all while wanting to be one of the boys, and saying "I'm not like the other girls".
I'm bi gender as fuck and I couldn't embrace my manhood until I realized I was a woman
Hey , I share the same opinion as you !!
But living in morocco and trying to explain this to them it's so hard , but I'm not hiding , I always wear wtvr I want and idc if people look at me and say :
" weirdo "
The MCR flag on the wall made me smile "I love them so much" I'm also Trans "ftm" and bisexual. Love the video so much
Edit: I just noticed your wearing a " frnkiero and the celebration" shirt. I can't stop smiling 😊
Coment for the algorithm
Also where did you get the purple sparkly stuff from cos its neat.
Also also for me atleast i never liked makeup before i came out but then as i realised that it isnt a gendered thing and that it can be for whoever wants to i became more comfortable with it andthe other day i finally felt confident enough to go out in it with my friends and altho i didn't pass i never do and i felt like myself so overall it was fun.
I loved the video as always
@EdwardSpagedward89 ok thanks :)
it’s a Black Radiance lid glitz!!
I definitely relate to a lot of this and appreciate you talking about it! I'm non-binary but tend to prefer to present "androgynous" or masculine leaning. However, I LOVE emo/Rock fashion, which is often deemed "effeminate" mens fashion. Like, if a cis man puts on guyliner and skinny jeans, they're seen as a man in guyliner and skinny jeans. But if I put on guyliner and skinny jeans I'm seen as a girl :/ For a long time I never wore make up (especially when I was younger and didn't know nonbinary was a thing and just thought I was a "tomboy") and I've only recently started experimenting with make up at all. But more and more I see cis men wearing guyliner as a common thing (thank goodness because it is a great look), so I hope that will allow more trans men and masc leaning people to follow suit wilthout so much instant misgendering or attempts and invalidation
I came out as trans ftm to my parents when I was 12 and my mum excepted me and my step dad didn’t so when my mum found out he didn’t she got a divorce with him because he was abusive about it I’m now 13 I have my hair cut how I like and I have a chest binder I’m also alt as well and my mum is very supportive of it and my name in school and on the register is Noah so I’m happy now :)
As an afab nonbinary person who likes very feminine things like dresses and makeup, I still struggle with seeing myself as nonbinary. I wear makeup everyday and have long hair and in my native language gender-neutral terms are still a new thing that exists only when writing, so I still talk about myself in feminine terms. Because of all this I don't feel like a real nonbinary person even though I know that makeup, clothes and hairstyles shouldn't be gendered.
Kind of same :) .. I embrassed and internalized a lot of toxic masculinity during my first year of transition, because I wanted to be accepted by the other cis boys, to be seen as "one of the boys", I was also dressing very boring "basic male section in Primark" to pass, and was still misgendered.
Now I am questioning if I am not also neutral (bi-gender, mostly male but also neutral) or if I am just tired to hide myself to be accepted and want to embrace who I am and my queerness
Hi. I'm also a goth trans guy. I was wondering if someone could explain the difference between toxic masculinity, and having/experiencing gender dysphoria. No disrespect but as I watch this video those two things seem to be lumped together, though I feel there are differences between the two. Thank you
I found this video in my search for transmasc folk who also occasionally present in "feminine" ways. I'm an alternative kid just like you, but on the opposite end of the spectrum. I absolutely adore bright colors, frilly things, and even lolita fashion . (Which many would consider excessively feminine) Because of this I always assumed this made me female. I was born female, I like "girly" things, then I'm a girl, right? Recently it occurred to me that this may not be true at all. A little over a month ago, I realized I might be nonbinary. This developed into realizing a may even be a trans man. I've really struggled with the concept of "girly" things, because I don't want to give them up. I love them, they make me so happy. I just worry that I wouldn't be taken seriously in the trans community. It's like those terf memes that passed around a few years ago. Like the one comic with the trans men Damian and Skye.
Anyways I've ranted enough on your video, thank you so much for making it and sharing your experiences.
For me, the struggle with being feminine was I felt like I was questioning my gender. By me being a trans man still liking girl things many of my family thought I wanted to become a girl again. But it wasn't the makeup and feminine clothes that made me insecure about being a girl but more of my body. Now to this day I still wear dresses and makeup which I hope isn't weird for a trans man to do...
when you said I don't want to be othered by other people I want to be othered by myself...omg
I'm a cisgender gay & I ABSOLUTELY LOVE make up! Geez! It's impossible to go out to the streets without some colour on us!
As a non binary person, ive always percieved feminine stuff as fun. When i was younger, it was simply drag for me. Pink, crazy, creative, with legacies of fashion, dance, and art. But once i reached puberty, the expectations and the destiny to be a proud promising woman all because of my breasts is what made me pushback from it, and instead executed femininity in a performative way (not for myself, but for what would attract a man). Full circle, now a lot of people who saw me as both or a guy just because of how i act, ive had this plan to present femme whenever i want when i get top surgery and have a more masc (but not too masc) body. But now that i think about it, the androgyny, the genderfluidity and non binary would stay with me, with breasts and without. So perhaps i may just express who i am however i want without having to put a timeline to it.
Handsome boi
My daughter or child is 13 and I am trying to get an understanding. I don't want her to box herself in. Just confused on what I should even suggest. Anyway. This helps. Thank you for sharing
Let her be herself to some extent. She should be herself of course, but it’s too early for her to make these decisions. My sister is a trans women. She did it because she has actual body dysmorphia. That’s why she chose to transition. She didn’t do it because of influence or peer pressure. You’re daughter is most likely doing it for these reasons, among others. She doesn’t ACTUALLY want to be trans.
@@popmartin3707 that line of thinking is misinformed and leads to a lot of harm
@@amelieweatherill9615 My sister, a transgender individual, recently transitioned however knew that her family and friends supported any decision she made. She knew this, but she figured waiting until her brain was fully developed, it would be better for her overall health. Following along with that, she had actual body dysmorphia and felt it would be better fir her to transition. Kids these days do it “for the trend” and it genuinely harms people who actually need to transition due to the demoralization of literal kids thinking they’re the opposing gender. I never said I disagree with being transgender, I support it. I don’t support people doing it because they want to be quirky or cool, or if they’re a child with an underdeveloped brain.
@@popmartin3707 As a agender 13 year old, I do agree, that's sorta the reason why I just kinda consider myself genderless for now, idk if it'll stick forever, but yeah.
hello, i hope you see this... i just found your channel, i have ARFID, dermatillomania, GAD, OCD and i am pansexual, and i was wondering about your experience with being transgender, as my family thinks im a straight female. I don't know where to start with this because it is new to me. I feel weird about having breasts, as it is a telltale sign of my sex. You don't have to reply to this, but I am just really confused and would love some advice.
Hey, so I'm obviously not Ashton but I'm trans masc and if you need advice at all I'd be happy to help.
AHH sorry for spamming the comments but i totally agree with alternative communities helping us embrace makeup. as a goth trans man it feels more normalized, and the style can be more androgynous anyways. i also agree that denying gendered items/concepts helps!! literally reading my mind bro!!
I when I was younger I definitely felt like I wanted to differentiate myself from femininity. Then I realized that it’s ok to be feminine and then I came out as non binary. Now I tend to not wear makeup and dress to try to have people miss gender me less. After watching this video I feel like I want to start wearing makeup again
It's confusing for me... As a Trans Woman, I like to wear makeup because it helps me to feel more in touch with my femininity but at the same time, I don't see it as a specifically female thing. I don't feel like I need to wear makeup to be a woman but it does help me to feel pretty, even if "pretty" is subjective.
I honestly feel as though I'd like to reach a point in my perception like you, where makeup is just some fun art to put on your face, completely separate from any sort of social stigma.