being trans in academia can be... interesting

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  • Опубликовано: 12 фев 2021
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Комментарии • 826

  • @sammi6257
    @sammi6257 3 года назад +288

    The non-binary experience is being misgendered in your zoom class's discussion about transphobia when your pronouns are on the screen

    • @rebeccatomlin3916
      @rebeccatomlin3916 2 года назад +21

      This physically pains my chest.

    • @mammoneymelon
      @mammoneymelon 2 года назад +8

      i feel like people do it on purpose tbh

    • @Bibirallie
      @Bibirallie 10 месяцев назад

      I can assure you they don’t do it on purpose. you can’t expect people, to be perfect after you change how the English language is used.

    • @SunnyCress
      @SunnyCress 7 месяцев назад +1

      ⁠@@Bibirallie they/them has been used as singular since Middle English, which is older than the USA, take of that what you will
      (But also ofc it takes people time to adjust! It’s just in a class on TRANSPHOBIA you’d hope they’d be more aware, especially when they have a reminder right there)

  • @strawbertexisting4058
    @strawbertexisting4058 3 года назад +940

    ive heard from my uncle (who used to be a college professor) that the gender studies teachers dont like trans kids in their classes "because they correct them too much" and its literally bs

    • @jequirity1
      @jequirity1 3 года назад +246

      It's like, then stop teaching incorrect information

    • @eve36368
      @eve36368 3 года назад +51

      Omfg mood! Like i was a smart kid even in k-12 before college, and with or without my queerness being known, it was like my having standards perhaps resembling anarchist ir something, made me somewhat iconic

    • @queerpeen
      @queerpeen 3 года назад +82

      @@jequirity1 Or they should just stop teaching altogether. That's a terrible attitude for a teacher to have. Sure as a teacher you might usually have the biggest knowledge on certain topics, but it's never too late to learn and improve. And with society & cultures shifting and changing, teachers should be as up to date as possible.
      Finally, teachers could really learn from their students as well. Especially when you're already in college.

    • @ahuman2055
      @ahuman2055 3 года назад +63

      If you don't want to get corrected a lot get educated on the topic that YOU are supposed to be teaching. When your students are correcting that much then you should educate yourself on that topic better to teach the students who actually don't know this information that you know is correct. I'm astonished that these professors don't realize that maybe they don't know enough about what they are supposed to be teaching and the should do some research on it.

    • @darkacadpresenceinblood
      @darkacadpresenceinblood 2 года назад +5

      lmao didn't it occur to the teachers that maybe they're corrected a lot for a reason???

  • @randompersonn610
    @randompersonn610 3 года назад +1566

    yo i'm non-binary and next semester i'm taking a gender studies class taught by a non-binary professor!!!

    • @The_Keeper_of_Names
      @The_Keeper_of_Names 3 года назад +102

      that's so cool!

    • @carimavandijk1091
      @carimavandijk1091 3 года назад +54

      That's really awesome

    • @ioselene9232
      @ioselene9232 3 года назад +73

      I was thinking this the entire video. If they got an opportunity to have a class with a trans person it would really put things in perspective and also be much more easy to enjoy the class I guess.

    • @Lockwood-strangerthings
      @Lockwood-strangerthings 3 года назад +13

      thats awesome

    • @honorn5764
      @honorn5764 3 года назад +13

      damn. wish i were in that class.

  • @rawkshavant
    @rawkshavant 3 года назад +871

    I think what contributes to this issue is far too often, people in minority groups get studied by cis het white men like we're a culture in a petri dish. At an arm's length without anyone thinking: hey, maybe we should just *ask* this group of people about their experiences. We're not trusted to know what our own experiences are. Then these kinds of studies get taught to teachers without a grain of salt and it becomes the narrative. And most of this isn't malicious but it's indicative of a wider issue where facts only seem to count if a white cis man is saying them.

    • @evasmiljanic3529
      @evasmiljanic3529 3 года назад +59

      They think that they're being objecting, by observing from afar. But they have biases, and what they see they interpret through that bias. It's a common issue in research in general.

    • @tonyagibbs1963
      @tonyagibbs1963 3 года назад +39

      Yes! And not only do they not ask, but when they do interact with the group they study, they say our experiences are wrong. It's exhausting.

    • @aliceche714
      @aliceche714 3 года назад +7

      very well put

    • @alyssaloe6033
      @alyssaloe6033 3 года назад +7

      Totally agree

    • @andylovesbats4566
      @andylovesbats4566 3 года назад +12

      Yeah, it's true that mostly cishet men do these kinda studies. There are women too however, so you can't blame only men for this kinda stuff. But honestly I feel the same.

  • @nathanasher1945
    @nathanasher1945 3 года назад +95

    my sociology 101 teacher said that "Transsexual people have this thing called gender dysmurphia." MA'AM. HELLO?? MA'AM????

  • @WallebyDamned
    @WallebyDamned 3 года назад +319

    The class was for deductive reasoning, your name and pronouns were visible, and you still got misgendered? I would be even more annoyed.

    • @graveyardpansy
      @graveyardpansy  3 года назад +64

      cjfdbn this is a rly funny comment thank you

  • @ezraatlasgay
    @ezraatlasgay 3 года назад +1200

    hot take, but I don’t think you sound entitled at all. the point of going to school is to learn from people who know what they’re talking about. you shouldn’t be the ones educating your profs on how to use basic gender terminology. and u definitely shouldn’t be getting misgendered by them !!

    • @lindanomercy8489
      @lindanomercy8489 3 года назад +20

      absolutely agree

    • @yurt8522
      @yurt8522 3 года назад +10

      Absolutely agree they shouldn't be mis gendered. However even profs are human and make mistakes. We all live learn and grow and to psycho analyse every word choice is not productive. Were not all going to speak 100% perfectly all of the time so I wouldn't criticise too much. Making a mistake or miss speaking is not indicative of lack of knowledge

    • @ezraatlasgay
      @ezraatlasgay 3 года назад +80

      @@yurt8522 i agree that teachers are humans and can make mistakes. but knowing how to use the word “cisgender” in a class ABOUT GENDER is the most basic building block. those teaching should be up to date on the appropriate language to use

    • @helloearthherejupiter6408
      @helloearthherejupiter6408 3 года назад +22

      @@ezraatlasgay I agree, like, I'm a trans who speack French and I know how to use the word " cisgender " but I never learn it, so if people who supposed to teach things about gender and have always speak English, they need to know how use this word

    • @saltydinonuggies1841
      @saltydinonuggies1841 3 года назад +8

      @@DanniBiersack yeah but they were probably worried cis people would take it personally. Itd be nice to not have to apologize for our experiences... 😅

  • @lifemistake8314
    @lifemistake8314 3 года назад +270

    My aunt caught a glimpse of this video and she asked me "what are you watching? Is he teaching you how to do makeup?" And I'm like yeaahh kinda. She thinks ur makeup is very cool btw.

    • @graveyardpansy
      @graveyardpansy  3 года назад +86

      aww that’s cute !! thank you (and thanks to ur aunt) ! :)

  • @noncorporealentity5641
    @noncorporealentity5641 3 года назад +1375

    I don't think you needed to be nearly as apologetic in this video as you were, you are 100% right about everything you're saying. Professors should be up to date on what they're teaching especially in a subject like gender and sexuality that they know are hugely controversial and political subjects. They should know how their classes effect real people, they shouldn't be at the same level (or below) their students

    • @snowpocalypse69
      @snowpocalypse69 3 года назад +46

      Yeah. It would be one thing to have to correct the professor if the topic was, like, astronomy or something, but the fact that it's about an already marginalized and misunderstood group of people should mean it's especially important to teach accurate and up-to-date information.

    • @tteoke
      @tteoke 3 года назад

      pppop

    • @papasscooperiaworker3649
      @papasscooperiaworker3649 3 года назад +8

      This is exactly why I kinda don't want a Sex Ed/Health Ed inclusive of orientations like lesbian, gay, aromantic, asexual. I'm worried that professors, teachers and students will be misinformed about the orientations, believing stuff like 'aces can't have sex' or 'aros can't love people'... it'd be nice to have to not explain myself every time I meet a person, but the world as it is now is not ready to educate anyone about stuff inclusive of people who aren't straight, cis or allo.

    • @dominiccobb6470
      @dominiccobb6470 3 года назад +1

      to be fair though, they dont have time to watch youtube all day and keep up with developments

    • @niamhleeson3522
      @niamhleeson3522 2 года назад +5

      If you can't keep up with your field you should not be a professor. periodt.

  • @maintubeTV
    @maintubeTV 3 года назад +764

    oh i'd so buy an "obviously cisgendered man" t-shirt

    • @victornoe7387
      @victornoe7387 3 года назад +31

      We need that merch!

    • @sixela6
      @sixela6 3 года назад +25

      I’m obviously a cisgendered man
      Now I can obviously walk around shirtless while 2 months on E

    • @krisedane
      @krisedane 3 года назад +1

      yessss

    • @roj6895
      @roj6895 3 года назад +6

      as a cis girl? i want it

    • @sixela6
      @sixela6 3 года назад +4

      @@roj6895 I wish I was a cis girl...

  • @doctora.snakeman1427
    @doctora.snakeman1427 3 года назад +736

    I get misgendered a lot by teachers who never knew me by different pronouns. My pronouns are next to my name on the website, I've done an assignment about my identity, and I registered to the school with my proper pronouns and gender. I don't understand how people can get from point A to point X like this

    • @corenisveryconfused
      @corenisveryconfused 3 года назад +3

      Same

    • @thesleepydot
      @thesleepydot 3 года назад +41

      That just seems intentional at that point. I’m sorry they treat you with so little respect ://

    • @MakenaForest
      @MakenaForest 3 года назад +5

      @@thesleepydot it seemed intentional at the first point, its just excessive

    • @menow.
      @menow. 3 года назад

      " I registered to the school with my proper pronouns and gender"
      What does "proper" mean in this context? Are there ANY limits to these pronouns and genders?

    • @doctora.snakeman1427
      @doctora.snakeman1427 3 года назад +29

      @@menow. ...The 'proper' means correct. I don't know what you're really asking here.

  • @val.ligator
    @val.ligator 3 года назад +167

    your professor giving you wrong facts on the subject is like if my cell biology professor were like "hey the golgi apparatus is the power house of the cell"

    • @broski9938
      @broski9938 3 года назад +9

      that physically hurts my brain to read gahh...

  • @MaiFrenchfry
    @MaiFrenchfry 3 года назад +270

    I love how you took that ignorant comment from that professor and made a meme out of it and EVEN MADE MATCHING TSHIRTS. Honestly 10/10.

  • @cipher8523
    @cipher8523 3 года назад +146

    God, i'm only a first year (social history/anthropology) and the amount of times i've had to correct "transsexual", "transgendered" , "transgenders"....

    • @graveyardpansy
      @graveyardpansy  3 года назад +39

      YEAH it’s constant and it’s such a red flag

    • @redcitadel9123
      @redcitadel9123 3 года назад +11

      'Transsexual'?????? YIKES

    • @cherokeedove
      @cherokeedove 3 года назад +3

      I mean, don't be so hard on people. Transsexual literally was a common term used by many trans people until very recently in the grand scheme of things (and is still used by some), and the other terms are so close to transgender that it's easy to see how someone who isn't online all the time might end up using them. Professors aren't omniscient. They usually specialize in a very specific aspect of their field and literally cannot stay up to date in every single area that's related to their broader field. There aren't enough hours in the day.

    • @majinmana8668
      @majinmana8668 2 года назад +3

      Ewwww.. I understand mistakes, but what you're saying.. I've known the difference my whole life.b

  • @samueltortellini
    @samueltortellini 3 года назад +398

    I only took 2 gender classes in college. The first was Gender Studies 101, it was taught by a terf who assigned a Sheila Jeffries reading that was so transphobic it literally triggered me into a panic attack. So that was trash.
    The second though was Gender Across Cultures, it was taught by a liberation activist and anthropologist from Kashmir and was cool as fuck.

    • @Tetriandon
      @Tetriandon 3 года назад +34

      Dang, that second class sounds really cool. Are there any texts or articles you could recommend from that class? I'd really be interested in learning about that.

    • @samueltortellini
      @samueltortellini 3 года назад +40

      @@Tetriandon Oh man I wish I had saved them, this was like 4 years ago now, and right on the tail end of my liberal arts credits before I started focusing exclusively on my chemistry and teaching classes.
      But I remember what I liked about the class was that the professor really pushed the importance flipping the usual script of judging other cultures and accepting your own as a "default" and instead, trying to expand your worldview of gender and relationships and why such variance exists, and then going back and asking yourself what is actually anomalous to people outside your culture that you might have taken for granted before.
      Like, for example, we studied how arranged marriages are actually formed in various cultures and how the people in them actually feel about them, beyond the stereotype that they are synonymous with forced marriage, and then we studied how pervasive actual forced child marriage is in the US and why people tend to be unaware of it

    • @mateuszwayne4829
      @mateuszwayne4829 3 года назад +6

      If "triggered me into a panic attack" wasn't meant as a joke, get a grip. Go to therapy and discipline yourself. You are a grown-up.

    • @arowace498
      @arowace498 3 года назад +32

      @@mateuszwayne4829 wait, I see now you're being ableist. Get over yourself not everyone can be mentally healthy 100% of the time and that doesn't make them less mature or mean they aren't taking care of themselves, jerk.

    • @papasscooperiaworker3649
      @papasscooperiaworker3649 3 года назад +39

      ​@@mateuszwayne4829 "Get a grip"? They already do. They have much more of a grip than you could ever have on reality because being ableist automatically makes you weaker than whoever you're being ableist to. Also, telling someone to go to therapy when you're being ableist is utter irony.

  • @a5hmustd1e
    @a5hmustd1e 3 года назад +418

    the gender photography class seems so rad

    • @meowman69420
      @meowman69420 3 года назад +8

      ikr? i wanna take it when i to to college.

    • @imaginarypluto6719
      @imaginarypluto6719 3 года назад +13

      how do u photograph a gender? isn't thst like photographing bigfoot? asking for a friend.

    • @meowman69420
      @meowman69420 3 года назад +33

      @@imaginarypluto6719 idk if you're joking or not but I'll try to explain to the best of my ability.
      i think gender photography is like, making self portraits of youself, and representing your gender identity/what your gender feels like in like a photo form.

    • @imaginarypluto6719
      @imaginarypluto6719 3 года назад +12

      @@meowman69420 Wow! That's really cool. I was definitely joking, but also this is really interesting and I will be looking into it more. :)

    • @lilyl.6715
      @lilyl.6715 3 года назад +10

      definitely. I wish Ashton was able to get feedback because his pieces look dope. I think a gender photography club where trans ppl take pics and discuss each other’s work would be really beneficial and fun. Kinda like a book club

  • @suckmyartauds
    @suckmyartauds 3 года назад +288

    So many of my profs are misgendering people with pronouns in their zoom name on the regular and I go to a very progressive college lol

    • @SaKura-il8op
      @SaKura-il8op 3 года назад +4

      Me being a cisgender girl with she/her pronouns in my bio: lol ok

  • @officialbritman8150
    @officialbritman8150 3 года назад +253

    Can I get one of them "obviously cisgendered man" shirts?

    • @sherlockhart2817
      @sherlockhart2817 3 года назад +11

      yesss pls I want one too

    • @saffles.
      @saffles. 3 года назад +30

      want an "obviously cisgendered man" croptop tbh

  • @jackriver8385
    @jackriver8385 3 года назад +363

    My psychologist recently noted that she had accidentally misgendered me in the notes she wrote down about me. She apologised and said she would change it, and was chill about it, but it's odd that even people who have studied psychology don't know very basic things about gender.

    • @doctora.snakeman1427
      @doctora.snakeman1427 3 года назад +15

      That sucks.
      (Also, nice pfp)

    • @maximellow5745
      @maximellow5745 3 года назад +6

      Wait.
      Didn't I see you under a Case Eris video earlier today?
      The one about Shrier!
      What a coincidence

    • @jackriver8385
      @jackriver8385 3 года назад +2

      @@maximellow5745 oh haha yeah I commented there too :)

    • @jackriver8385
      @jackriver8385 3 года назад +6

      @@doctora.snakeman1427 thank you, it's one of those picrew things, don't remember which one it was though

    • @retvolution
      @retvolution 3 года назад +40

      Yeah
      I came out to my psychologist recently and she didn't even react in any way.. like, she still calls me by my dead name and incorrect pronouns even though I made it clear to her that I prefer being called differently? And she keeps talking about how I want to "switch genders" instead of just saying I'm trans.
      I feel like that's the main thing tbh. Like, she thinks I am my gender assigned at birth, because I haven't medically transitioned yet.
      And I know she does this with no mal intent, she's just confused.
      There really needs to be more education on these topics

  • @vespermancy
    @vespermancy 3 года назад +64

    i may not go to college and i may not be involved in academia in the slightest, but the whole "becoming the token trans" thing really resonates with me. i was the second trans person to come out in the entire history of my high school. they made no effort to inform the teachers or put the corrrect name on stuff, even after i got my name legally changed. and so i became "the trans" in all of my classes, its truly annoying having to go through that, so i very much understand what you meant in that part of the video.

    • @graveyardpansy
      @graveyardpansy  3 года назад +25

      Oof yeah there were a lot of trans kids at my high school, but a lot of them came out after me so. definitely feel you. it’s not easy, but best of luck w the rest of school !! you got this!

  • @bensleath87
    @bensleath87 3 года назад +43

    I’m a gay cis man and my drama teacher tried to tell my class last year that “some people choose to be gay” like, ma’am, pass me the mic.

    • @chrissy9997
      @chrissy9997 2 года назад +11

      I'm guessing she didn't mean straight political lesbians.

    • @bensleath87
      @bensleath87 2 года назад +4

      @@chrissy9997 yeah I don’t think she did ahahaha

    • @shivaramoutar5333
      @shivaramoutar5333 2 года назад +1

      @@chrissy9997 so true 🤣🤣🤣

  • @kreuzundqueer2158
    @kreuzundqueer2158 3 года назад +152

    Omg I get the "feeling overqualified" thing. I was taking a class on trans and intersex people during my first dab into university. And I was the only out trans & intersex person in that class.
    One time a person defended intersex genital mutilation and involuntary hormone treatment because children would otherwise grow up "defect/confused/mentally ill because they couldn't identify their own gender", which is obviously bullshit. And this wasn't during the beginning of that course, this was well in the middle of the semester so this person should have known better. But I almost cried and my professor saw that, so she tried to gently correct them.
    I just left and voluntarily dropped out. I stopped studying educational sciences and started something else in a different town. Endosex cis people are weird and people like that are becoming teachers.

    • @iswearimcoolguys
      @iswearimcoolguys 3 года назад +10

      I'm sorry you had to deal with that, that sounds like such a horrible experience :(

    • @papasscooperiaworker3649
      @papasscooperiaworker3649 3 года назад +13

      I'd literally get retraumatized in life by going to a class like yours... Idk how you managed, but I'm glad you're no longer in the class.

    • @menow.
      @menow. 3 года назад

      " I was the only out trans & intersex person"
      So that means you "transitioned" from what to what, if you don't mind my asking?

    • @voidify3
      @voidify3 3 года назад +7

      @@menow. they were almost certainly assigned a binary sex at birth despite being intersex

    • @menow.
      @menow. 3 года назад

      @@voidify3 "they were almost certainly..."
      If you are using "they" as a pronoun for a single person, why are you not saying: "they WAS..."?
      "assigned a binary sex at birth despite being intersex"
      So should this person should just have been called "it", then? My question was this: you "transitioned" from what to what?

  • @Diary.by.L
    @Diary.by.L 3 года назад +127

    Not the same thing but this is similar it what happens to me in my psychology classes. I’m autistic, and I also have a bunch of other diagnoses. My professor casually used the r word. And when I called him out on it he said has to use that as it’s the clinical word. And I’m not it hasn’t been for a while? They also said that most autistic people are nonverbal and end up living in group homes.
    When I call them out on this they literally either said oh I didn’t know this I’ve never met an intelligent autistic person. Thank you for telling me.
    I have no words.

    • @Laura-qp9iw
      @Laura-qp9iw 3 года назад +28

      ugh yeah this is why I haven't taken any psychology classes, I just know it would be full of this bs. Even in my completely unrelated classes, i've had to read multiple books and articles that are incredibly dehumanizing of autistic people and I hate it so much.
      Like my professor apologized but idk maybe you shouldn't assign an article whose thesis relies on the assumption that being autistic is like lacking a soul or being dead

    • @chrissy9997
      @chrissy9997 2 года назад +11

      Another thing to add to the list of reasons I'm hesitating to get therapy. If I can't trust a professor to understand some of the most BASIC OF THINGS, how am I supposed to trust the people being taught by them?

    • @j.c.2240
      @j.c.2240 2 года назад +4

      What the actual fuck

  • @elijahphillips2814
    @elijahphillips2814 3 года назад +316

    I run into similar issues as a neurodivergent person in a Special Education preservice teaching program at my college

    • @orangeworm
      @orangeworm 3 года назад +34

      i'll bet that the person first discourse is frustrating as hell.

    • @genericname8727
      @genericname8727 3 года назад +42

      My teachers started teaching students that ADHD wasn’t real..

    • @lexiloo.b9543
      @lexiloo.b9543 3 года назад +8

      @@genericname8727 i wish lmao it sucks

    • @callumjones5666
      @callumjones5666 3 года назад +11

      @@genericname8727 that's messed up and upsetting do better teachers you are hurting a bunch of people who have this!! 😠😡

    • @valentinewiggin7782
      @valentinewiggin7782 3 года назад +3

      @@genericname8727 WHAT

  • @jortslesbian
    @jortslesbian 3 года назад +141

    *“I just have a bag of cheap makeup and the knowledge that I am wearing purple pants”* the power you hold I-

  • @gabrielbruce1977
    @gabrielbruce1977 3 года назад +67

    Ugh, god. I recently experienced this too, in a course about Indigenous history. I'm 2S and Métis. My people as a whole got mentioned properly multiple times, but 2S people were just sort of... politely glossed over, in one lesson, and once I went to the forums to discuss (BIG MISTAKE), I quickly realized I was the only Métis 2S person taking the course and thus the only one who felt slighted that we barely got a mention- even though colonizing forces basically wiped us out and introduced Native people to homophobia. A lot of the posts were stuff like "hey did anyone even understand what the prof just said" and a blatant refusal to do any further work. It was really alienating. I stopped going to the forums after that.

  • @butterknifepatten4455
    @butterknifepatten4455 3 года назад +32

    same vibes as my psychology teacher consistently citing studies that are deeply flawed or outright have results that have been disproven (marshmallow test, zimbardo prison experiment, etc.) while simultaneously lecturing us about proper scientific procedure in psychological studies

  • @d3ada5tronaut
    @d3ada5tronaut 3 года назад +174

    no you're right. I took a 100 level gender studies course and they still used "transsexual". there were a lot of good things about that course, but god was it awkward to be the only visibly trans person in the class

    • @pheonixrises11
      @pheonixrises11 3 года назад +7

      haha I’ve only heard transsexual in older movies (as someone not taking any gender study courses) so that’s kinda wild

    • @fluorescentalien5204
      @fluorescentalien5204 3 года назад +19

      to be fair, I know some trans people (especially older ones) who still identify with the label transsexual, but I definitely get your discomfort. especially considering how its sometimes associated with transmedicalism. and its FOR SURE outdated for a class.

    • @d3ada5tronaut
      @d3ada5tronaut 3 года назад +16

      @@fluorescentalien5204 yeah, totally. the thing was the material we read was I believe from an older trans woman, and lots of it was genuinely good introductory stuff. But the introduction of the terms "transgender" and "transsexual" as separate things just seemed odd, especially to teach a class full of cis people who are gonna take this as law. The distinction was transsexual was a trans person who desired to medically transition, and transgender was a person who was trans but didn't have that as a priority. The distinction as well as the author allowed for genuine acceptance of trans people of any gender who are nondysphoric, even allowing for the possible inclusion of gnc people if they so desired, but like I said, the terms just aren't used like that nowadays.

    • @menow.
      @menow. 3 года назад

      " I took a 100 level gender studies course and they still used "transsexual""
      OMG... the HORROR!!

    • @fluorescentalien5204
      @fluorescentalien5204 3 года назад +3

      @@menow. some people do identify with transsexual as a label, so youre right it might not be that shocking. but it might indicate an outdated understanding of the words trans people use to describe ourselves. theres no need to be condescending about it.

  • @amyharth5446
    @amyharth5446 3 года назад +33

    I’m non-binary and have a PhD in anti-oppression research. You don’t sound overly entitled or like you need to apologize. You are entitled to be treated with respect and to a quality education. To meet those, your pronouns need to be used correctly and the people teaching need to know the basics of their subject. It’s not too much to ask even the other stuff like not making you a token and helping you learn more are basics. You deserve all of that. Marginalized people are constantly being made to feel like we need to apologize for what dominant groups don’t even question. You are so right, this is exhausting. I would love to have had you in my class.

  • @ezraatlasgay
    @ezraatlasgay 3 года назад +276

    last time I was this early I thought I was cis

  • @early-may-sun
    @early-may-sun 3 года назад +24

    my health teacher said that intersex is a sexuality during a gender and sexuality lesson... yikes

    • @nechma13
      @nechma13 3 года назад +7

      I choked this made me laugh

  • @romancarlise4738
    @romancarlise4738 3 года назад +66

    my instagram bio is 'literally anything but he/him' and people just do *not* get the point

  • @Ryan-nd4kc
    @Ryan-nd4kc 3 года назад +284

    Ok but why would a college teacher show a buzzfeed video for their students like part of the class? Like I'm really confused
    What are you supposed to learn from buzzfeed in academia?

    • @MaliceAttention
      @MaliceAttention 3 года назад +16

      Either a lazy one or one with terrible sources.

    • @Taumpy
      @Taumpy 3 года назад +15

      I can understand it being useful in a course in the mass media/communication dept, where the article is being dissected and its journalistic merit/social impact is being discussed. Not as much for other departments.

    • @MaliceAttention
      @MaliceAttention 3 года назад +2

      @@Taumpy I was thinking the same while watching the video.

    • @bellarosethorne
      @bellarosethorne 3 года назад +7

      a lot of these bitesize videos are good for introduction and not being too long and dry. And isn't affected by the lecturer being in too deep and thus being unable to process the small hurdles. like... the difference between being told all the details of a treatment of cancer, dosages, the effect of the treatment, how the radiation works... OR, being told "we're going to zap the tumor with radiation, the cancer is more susceptible to radiation than your healthy cells so this gives us a good chance of taking it out whilst minimising the risk to you."..
      videos like the buzzfeed one are good at watering down the information to make it accessible to the general public....when they get it right.

  • @frog3287
    @frog3287 3 года назад +132

    ahh yes, transgendered. because the gender has been transed

    • @ilexdiapason
      @ilexdiapason 3 года назад +30

      i remember when the gays came and transed my gender... i was only fourteen. i was never the same again.
      (lot happier now, though.)

  • @chloebaumstark7992
    @chloebaumstark7992 3 года назад +61

    It was pointed out by one of my classmates once that so many departments that have to do with marginalized groups come at it assuming that you aren't a member of that group. At my school, too, I feel like so many of the classes that have to do with gender or feminism or sexuality are inherently structured to be for cishet men. For intro classes and such I can kinda understand, but after a certain point, it's just stifling to the conversation and frustrating for members of those groups in the class.

    • @Laura-qp9iw
      @Laura-qp9iw 3 года назад +6

      yeah I've noticed that too and I think it's really harmful.

    • @ivo8312
      @ivo8312 3 года назад +10

      EXACTLY like the starting commentary for this sociology course im taking the prof wrote like 'as a kid you may have excluded or even been violent to others kids that didnt fit societal norms, like gender roles, but you couldnt have known better because that how you were socialized' like umm SPEAK FOR YOURSELF SIR
      its rly like the whole class is just written for cishet white ppl and ur an outsider looking in when it should be the other way around lmao

  • @MC-tl5bf
    @MC-tl5bf 3 года назад +376

    hooooly shit u should make a video about the womens studies terfs...

  • @irohha
    @irohha 3 года назад +12

    Recently graduated with a Women's and Gender Studies minor and I resonated with this video SO much. The WGS program at my uni is overwhelmingly white and cisgender; courses that aren't literally about race hardly bring it up and trans people are tossed to the sidelines constantly. They're usually full of outdated language/misinformation and my cisgender professors are hardly ever responsive to me trying to correct them. Here are some weird-ass experiences I've had in gender and sexuality courses throughout my 4 years: had my WGS prof call out my birth name on the first day of class even though my chosen name is in the system (also... why did she not just let us introduce ourselves), had a teacher's assistant ask me if I was "really Andrew" when handing out papers, trans students and students of color were silenced by our Feminist Philosophy professors for saying the book we were reading was not intersectional and offensive, misgendered by classmates despite talking about being a man and giving a presentation on gender dysphoria, etc etc etc. like there's so much. These programs can be so hostile towards transgender students 😔

  • @aktisfm
    @aktisfm 3 года назад +35

    as a she/they/he I would really like one of those "obviously cisgendered man" shirts

  • @Alliien34
    @Alliien34 3 года назад +149

    i feel that so much omg ! i'm in art school and a lot of my art is related to me being trans and disabled, i know several trans students who also make art relating to their transness, and EVERYTIME teachers have to comment on our work, they only focus on the form, the medium, etc. and never on the meaning behind it, i get the feeling that they're scared of being offensive, so they're afdraid to talk about trans stuff or disability. Even the teachers that are the most up to date on feminism and gender and social studies do this. on the one hand i think it's not bad that they want to be considerate and not risk saying hurtful or offensive stuff, but on the other hand it makes me feel othered and like there's no way for me to have an actual in-depth discussion of my work with teachers. So like what's the point... its really discouraging

    • @destroymmrs
      @destroymmrs 3 года назад +14

      I feel you, I'm an art graduate and my thesis was about my experience as a nonbinary person and gender expression throughout photography, and It was really hard to explain this to my older professors, they misgendered me all the time and it was exhausting,also all my classes about gender studies they only talked about feminism and barely about trans ppl. Well I live in south America so these topics aren't commonly known by older people even if they're supposedly teaching you about it 🤷‍♂️

    • @orangeworm
      @orangeworm 3 года назад +16

      i take art in secondary school and even though my teacher knows and is accepting of me being gay, she had to advise me to avoid obvious references to my identity/lgbt issues or relationships in my art, which is so frustrating. my art and other forms of personal expression is so overwhelmingly channeled by my inner workings, which cannot really be separated from aspects of my identity - and it's probably the same for many others. there's a reason why it's important to know at least briefly the identity/purpose/experiences of an artist when we're studying them: even if i'm not expressing something that is strongly connected to being gay, i'm creating something as someone who is gay.

    • @guppyfishbein2984
      @guppyfishbein2984 3 года назад +8

      @@orangeworm Thats so awful of her... Art is supposed to be for you to create, and you put part of yourself into it.. including the part of you that's gay.

    • @cherokeedove
      @cherokeedove 3 года назад

      I've taught at a university, and in fairness to your profs, ngl it was kind of nerve racking navigating having trans students (not because of the students themselves). In some university environments (esp if they lean leftist or very liberal on social issues), some people are on a hair trigger about race and gender, and I was kind of worried I would say something that would blow up in my face.

  • @Laura-qp9iw
    @Laura-qp9iw 3 года назад +113

    I feel like a lot of schools just change the women's studies departments to "gender studies" and then don't change anything but the name...like okay
    very uncomfy when you're trans and misgendered as a woman, but people think studying gender just means studying women??

    • @aliceche714
      @aliceche714 3 года назад +11

      Yes, I've read somewhere in semi-academic circles in Russia "about gender" just meant "about cis women's struggle", that was seen from the context. and it's weird :)

    • @boldanabrasevic3020
      @boldanabrasevic3020 3 года назад +3

      @@aliceche714 I'm from Serbia and in my hs sociology book, there was barely any mention of LGBT+ people in general (expect for a single line about "same-sex parents") and in the inequalities section, they defined gender inequalities as purely man-woman type of thing. I don't doubt it's the same for "about gender" *sigh*

    • @aliceche714
      @aliceche714 3 года назад +3

      @@boldanabrasevic3020 yes, definetly. they just know that misoginy is (obviously) based on gender, so they think "that's it, that's all about gender". haha... yeah. :(

    • @yeoman2k1
      @yeoman2k1 3 года назад +2

      Another example of how trans theory is infringing on women's spaces

  • @rebelrebelramblings1217
    @rebelrebelramblings1217 3 года назад +16

    Yup I feel this. Also studying psychology as an Autistic/ADD person. I used to refer to one of my psych classes as "Talking about myself in the third person 101" lol

  • @acook4616
    @acook4616 3 года назад +56

    really glad to see a video dedicated to the struggles of us Obviously Cisgendered Men (OCMs) in academia. good video fellow Man of Cisgendered (Obviously) experience

  • @reddaughter8314
    @reddaughter8314 3 года назад +47

    You should make merch that says "obviously cisgendered man" lmao

  • @ariebirb
    @ariebirb 3 года назад +22

    I go to a tech college so there aren’t a lot of lib art stuff or gender society classes but I did take a linguisticics class. The first thing my professor stated was “no matter how sciency this class gets do not forget that this is a study of human culture. Native speakers are the experts of their language, not academics. We only study and record them and how they affect their society and stuff, we do not create the rules, humans do.

  • @werebeastworks
    @werebeastworks 3 года назад +35

    i remember in a seminar i was taking last semester, we spent a day talking about discrimination and intersectionality and stuff (it was an honors seminar meant to teach us how to be good leaders and whatever). a lot of different types of people went around and talked about the discrimination they've faced and ways they've been stereotyped, and the professor was very open about providing support and encouraged their speaking up! but when i, the trans person, mentioned how im constantly seen as oversensitive and its tiring, i was met with a "nice ok moving on" from the professor, who was very clearly uncomfortable. needless to say i trust cissies even less now

  • @theelectricant98
    @theelectricant98 3 года назад +38

    That's wack as shit for your professor to act like you can know someone's cis by looking at them oy vey

  • @KalebSdraws
    @KalebSdraws 3 года назад +42

    I had a very different experience in my photography class; we had one self portrait assignment to “show a different side of ourselves” and as a trans guy I based mine around how I’m afraid to express my feminine side irl. I confused my professor (cause why would I want to be feminine if I’m a guy I guess) and it was the lowest project grade I got during that class :/
    It is nice to get critique but the only time my concept confused him was in relation to my self-portrait; while cis students did drag based self-portraits and got A’s ...
    also one of my roommates whose non-binary also had the exact same experience multiple times of telling a gender studies prof that they were using outdated terminology/sources and they would just “oh I know but this is the best academic source to teach this part” and when my roommate sent her other sources, she brushed them off.

    • @Laura-qp9iw
      @Laura-qp9iw 3 года назад +8

      wow that sucks. It sounds like it was a really cool project and I'm sorry your professor couldn't recognize that

  • @Lunarific1
    @Lunarific1 3 года назад +40

    I'm in a screenwriting masters program. A lot of my scripts have trans characters and I always feel like I have to explain the most basic trans stuff to my professors. They don't mean any harm by it, but I do get annoyed that my critique time gets taken up by explaining pronouns and what a binder is.
    Also had the fun experience of learning my professor would misgender me if I wasn't in class so that's fun :/

  • @aljacobson2164
    @aljacobson2164 3 года назад +26

    The whole talk about learning in a classroom about something you experience really reminded me of after I got out of a psychiatric clinic and went into a phycology class. Learning about things like depression and eating disorders and other stuff from an outside perspective was to fascinating

  • @narc3angel
    @narc3angel 3 года назад +125

    Ah yes, someone with the name Ashton sounds like a “she”
    Ps i *do* believe names dont inherently have genders (or even pronouns for that matter) but,,, using she wouldnt be my first guess :,)

    • @dumbmusorowan
      @dumbmusorowan 3 года назад +4

      i've only met girls called ashton tbh

    • @lacklusterluke5855
      @lacklusterluke5855 3 года назад +8

      My name is Lukas and I've had a teacher (and some classmates) misgender me or ask what I am
      GEE I WONDER

    • @narc3angel
      @narc3angel 3 года назад +2

      @@dumbmusorowan oh. Idk maybe its just me who associates it with masculinity

    • @redrubytwilightxx8700
      @redrubytwilightxx8700 3 года назад

      @@dumbmusorowan are you sure it wasn't ashtyn.

    • @kayleigh1991
      @kayleigh1991 3 года назад

      I actually had a friend named Ashton when I was a child and she was a girl

  • @ibbob8490
    @ibbob8490 3 года назад +29

    obsessed w the idea of a shirt that says “obviously cisgendered man” that shit is hilarious

  • @axogothl
    @axogothl 3 года назад +23

    I relate a lot! I'm in my second year of (british) college / A-levels, and I study Psychology, where one of our units focuses on gender and includes a sub-unit on being transgender. My teacher is a cis woman and she's far above the bare minimum for cis allies and I love her dearly, but I definitely feel this.
    What was really nice however was she allowed me to create my own presentation on transgender and nonbinary identity (which had to be more of a 101 sort of thing) and was happy to let my eager self present it to my own class + one of her other classes that had mostly cis students in it. I felt really confident in what I was talking about and was really happy to use current, accurate terminology and definitions, and while I wish I could've gone WAAAY further into it than I did due to time constraints, I'm glad I got to share knowledge and inform cis folk!
    I actually included you briefly as one of the examples of transmasc/nonbinary figures in media because I've really learnt a lot from your channel and you're a big inspiration to me as a transmasc autistic person, and I love to shoehorn recommendations for trans/nonbinary content creators whenever I can lmao. Great video!!

    • @axogothl
      @axogothl 3 года назад +9

      NONE OF THIS WAS EVEN PART OF THE SPECIFICATION, MY TEACHER JUST LET ME GO OFF ABOUT TRANS STUFF WHICH IS THE GREATEST PART OF THIS

    • @graveyardpansy
      @graveyardpansy  3 года назад +10

      im rly glad you got to give such a rad presentation, that sounds awesome!! totally feel you on always being able to go waaay more in-depth than cis ppl want lmao

  • @kayleigh1991
    @kayleigh1991 3 года назад +23

    I only recently accepted that I’m non binary (I was in the “questioning” phase for a while) and every time people say “to cis people...” I think they’re talking to me for a few seconds and then I remember I’m not cis 😂

    • @awkwardsauceart
      @awkwardsauceart 3 года назад +9

      oh my god SAME!! I keep seeing posts on tumblr that are aimed at trans and non-binary people, and going 'oh well that doesn't apply to me.' and then two seconds later 'w a i t'

    • @kayleigh1991
      @kayleigh1991 3 года назад

      @@awkwardsauceart I'm glad it's not just a me thing 😂

    • @amyw.8354
      @amyw.8354 3 года назад

      @@awkwardsauceart is it bc you don't really feel trans? Sorry im just a bit confused

  • @MilnaAlen
    @MilnaAlen 3 года назад +24

    Also, I am super frustrated about the language research papers use when talking about autism! Luckily I absolutely love correcting and knowing more than text books/research papers, helps me to come across smarter than professors lol. That's probably my narc traits tho.

  • @pinkelephant4591
    @pinkelephant4591 3 года назад +17

    I'm a nurodivergent person and I totally understand this. Happened to me so much in my psychology degree. Was also kinda awkward when I tought my philosophy tutor a common refute to his own theses he was literally writing, it was super weird. And yeah you do feel like you have to say something because I don't want my classmates to think it's ok to go around calling autistic people "people with autism".

    • @amyw.8354
      @amyw.8354 3 года назад

      What's wrong with the latter?

    • @pinkelephant4591
      @pinkelephant4591 3 года назад +11

      @@amyw.8354 Most autistic adults find it offensive because it is a term pushed on them by autistic parents group and organisations aiming to cure autism (which is impossible since it is literally the structure of someone's brain and not a disease). Autistic people often have a history of treatments being forced upon then and some can be traumatic and abusive so the community generally doesn't use "with autism" because of the association with problematic advocacy groups and practices.

  • @Laura-qp9iw
    @Laura-qp9iw 3 года назад +28

    I took a Sociology of Gender and Sexuality class last semester and I had a lot of these same issues.The readings from our textbook were honestly pretty great, but the lectures were horrible and our professor seemed to just be reading (often misreading) out of a really outdated textbook for them??? The first week we talked about trans and intersex issues and stuff and most of the info was pretty good, but then for like the entire rest of the semester everything was incredibly cis and perisex normative. And also mostly heteronormative as well! Like when we were talking about sex they were all like "during sex, the man does this and the woman does this" and it made me really uncomfortable!!
    I tried to correct the misinfo and bring up my perspective as a trans nonbinary person in all of my discussion board posts and some of my classmates did as well, but the professor just didn't seem to care at all. It was really frustrating.

    • @graveyardpansy
      @graveyardpansy  3 года назад +4

      ugh yeah that’s super frustrating, I’m sorry you had those experiences :( i’m glad you had some likeminded classmates though !

  • @radicalbacon
    @radicalbacon 3 года назад +23

    "Here's a picture of an obviously cisgender man."
    Picture: a still from the philosophytube video, "Jordan Peterson," where she's shirtless, draped with a snake, and dressed like the devil

  • @mio573
    @mio573 3 года назад +31

    hair: 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
    genius level: 1000000

  • @sam62831
    @sam62831 3 года назад +18

    i'm so tired of interecting with cis people that have a ton of confidence but don't actually know about trans stuff (surprisingly common weirdly)

  • @reamaeflorgelacio7056
    @reamaeflorgelacio7056 3 года назад +9

    So, we had a virtual orientation last Tuesday, and the topic was more on Gender Identity (and a couple of LGBTQ+ stuff), and I really appreciated how the speaker explained the different LGBTQ+ identities to some of the students that didn't know some of the identities, debunked false information that spread in the internet, and said that the LGBTQ+ is valid, loved, and appreciated, and that they were open to queries, and as someone who's Bi and Gender Questioning, the orientation made me happy.

  • @theodoreharvey4814
    @theodoreharvey4814 3 года назад +20

    as a transgender student, this is super validating. Thanks for speaking up and helping me feel less alone!

  • @nicothenecromancer
    @nicothenecromancer 3 года назад +20

    You were not entitled at all in this video, you made some amazing points. I honestly think the teachers should not have been as minimally informed as they were, I felt the 2+2=5 analogy was perfect.

  • @Robb3636
    @Robb3636 3 года назад +6

    Oh, geez yeah. This whole subject reminds me of the gender clinic I went to a couple of years ago, where the nurse/psychologist lady constantly misgendered me, used the wrong name, referred to me as a "daughter" and "sister" with my family there (really freaking uncomfortable for them as well I imagine) despite my numerous corrections, I had to explain the difference between sexuality and gender to her, and when I compromised on pronouns and said, if you won't call me "he", at least don't call me "she", can you at least use "they"? And in her report at the end she said that I requested they/them pronouns above all else, and that she had respected that (which she hadn't, she still used female ones) which just blew my mind. God, I'm so glad I don't go there anymore.

    • @Robb3636
      @Robb3636 3 года назад +2

      With the "having to teach professionals how to do their own job" thing I mean.

  • @alexppeters
    @alexppeters 3 года назад +6

    I’m a post grad student studying fertility and I agree that academia is very behind on using correct terminology and being up to date! In one of my presentations I clarified that not all women have female reproductive systems and vice versa and I got told not to say it!!!! The concept that woman = more than a cis woman and man = more than a cis man is so confusing to the fertility researchers and it’s so frustrating!

  • @levidayton8460
    @levidayton8460 3 года назад +42

    Your hair is so swag!!

  • @vicentehelianthus8339
    @vicentehelianthus8339 3 года назад +15

    Please make merch with "Obviously cisgendered man" ohmygod

  • @revolutionofthekind
    @revolutionofthekind 3 года назад +23

    You're not entitled to challenge your professors who you are paying to teach you and you're being forced to teach them and correct them just so you and other people like you aren't disrespected or demeaned :/ misinformation feeds into bigotry and if its being spread without comment, theres no way to actually educate people in a way thats constructive or challenge their already held beliefs. So no, you keep doing what youre doin if youre able to mentally, but its not your responsibility either.
    They should know better, and its more a testament to their ethics that they don't think they need to keep studying or learning.

  • @yeotoki
    @yeotoki 3 года назад +29

    That whole concept of how the stuff you're discussing being what you've experienced yourself, so hearing about it is weird--I completely understand. I was a psych major with depression and social anxiety, and hearing about those conditions in a weird, sterile format was. Very offputting. You can tell when people don't know what they're talking about--as in, they have never experienced something or been around people that have experienced that thing. So, their viewpoint is very limited and as you said, Very behind. It's exhausting and makes you feel like you're not even human. The way that psych researchers study people is dehumanizing in general but that's a thesis for another day.
    But looking back--I didn't know that I was nonbinary at the time--the way gender was discussed was binary only. I don't even think the term cisgender was used. And talking about trans people? Forget it. Brief mention and that's it. What a mess :/

  • @MilnaAlen
    @MilnaAlen 3 года назад +25

    Yikes. I have only had one gender studies course but even in biology all professors have been super respectful and accepting. Not all students, sadly. My mind was just blown in gender studies learning that people perform their age with their clothing too! I think I learned more about NT behaviour than anything academic lol

    • @softgender
      @softgender 3 года назад +5

      I really relate to the whole learning more about neurotypical behavior than purely academic content

  • @elliotb8924
    @elliotb8924 3 года назад +27

    I was considering going into disability studies and “special” ed but i genuinely don’t think I could deal with profs and students being ableist or even just miseducated. as someone who went threw the sped system, I know alot about it. but i have knowlage on the /other/ side of the system.

  • @mitchjohnson1081
    @mitchjohnson1081 3 года назад +6

    ah, yes, my transgender pronouns. If you're cis, I'm strictly fae/faer just to rub in that difference but if you are trans I'm he/they. My gender expression is a group performance.

  • @AndesMints94
    @AndesMints94 3 года назад +30

    It's like when I tell my mom that Elliot Page is trans and she says 'But he was so pretty as a girl...' Like I don't know Elliot Page all that much, but still, that hurts. :(

    • @thisnameistimeless1937
      @thisnameistimeless1937 3 года назад +9

      Did you tell her that gender is not for approval thanks very much

    • @sacrificiallamb4568
      @sacrificiallamb4568 2 года назад +3

      @@thisnameistimeless1937 Why do I immediately want this on a T-shirt?

  • @heirspray5994
    @heirspray5994 3 года назад +25

    Omg it’s sooo awkward 🙃 I was in a directing class last semester where we had to be cast in short scenes and my professor asked for everyone’s pronouns and as one of the 2 nonbinary people in the class (that were out at the time) it was so awkward to have her boil it down to “these people can play a man or a woman but everyone else has to play a part that’s their assigned gender” and it was just so awkward and misguided, I know she had good intentions but professors really need to take a course on how to address their trans students (and honestly how to address marginalized groups in general because it definitely doesn’t stop at gender) because the way trans students are treated in classes is ridiculous and definitely feels alienating since so many professors view us as a “token trans student”.

    • @starmaiden1362
      @starmaiden1362 3 года назад +2

      Heirspray that kind of sucks, you can act any gender, no matter your pronouns.

  • @kogasfurryjorts5963
    @kogasfurryjorts5963 3 года назад +14

    I would 100% buy an “Obviously Cisgendered Man” shirt for me and all of my friends, that is hilarious.

  • @anxomartinez2249
    @anxomartinez2249 3 года назад +16

    I don't major in anything related to gender, I'm majoring in illustration. However, I am taking a psychology of gender class out of it interesting me. I'm lucky to have a professor who is very open minded and uses material that is up to date. Additionally, he correctly uses the term cis and accepts nonbinary people. He also has us reading a textbook that was a 2020 version that includes terms like genderfluid, nonbinary, cisgender, etc. that is used correctly (except for maybe the genderfluid term, but I don't wanna make assumptions because I don't identify as genderfluid anymore and can't say if it's correct or not). He is also not willing to tolerate anyone willing to have a political debate in this class because he says we're here to learn in a science class and not have a political debate and to do it on our own time. What you mentioned in the video were some of my biggest concerns with taking this class, but I feel so lucky to not be misgendered and have a professor who is understanding, accepting, and open to learning more to further better himself and the students he teaches. Additionally, he's open to us having discussions in class about gender inequality (in a respectful manner related to the lesson) and other LGBTQ+ stuff. I wish all classes on gender everywhere could be like the one I take because I can recognize that what I have for my class is a privilege in a way (because not everywhere will be like this or willing to have people like my professor teach a gender class). In a way, I'm grateful for this professor and this class, but feel guilty that I'm a trans person in a gender class that is having a good experience when I'm sure there are other trans people miserable or frustrated with their classes like you are. Everything should be current, accurate, and have open people teaching the classes, not something where the trans people have to correct the professors and make themselves basically be the classes' dictionary on gender stuff.

  • @ZacharieaMerchant
    @ZacharieaMerchant 3 года назад +44

    I definitely feel where you're coming from. You shouldn't have to correct someone who's teaching gender studies on the correct way to use the term cisgender. It shows a lack of motivation to keep up with updated information on what they're trying to teach. It may not be the case, but it's still telling when a teacher doesn't know something that shows up on the first page of google. Basic knowledge of current and up to date gender vernacular is one of the most important things when it comes to teaching gender studies. It's distressing to hear that if there hadn't been trans people in those classes, the whole class would have likely been given misinformation and taken it as fact. I feel like cis teachers (gender studies or otherwise) should be more proactive on knowing basic gender terms so they can have a level of understanding with their trans students, or at least know the grammatically correct way of using these terms. Sorry for the long comment, I just had a lot of thoughts on this kind of stuff!

  • @madilynneharbauer2851
    @madilynneharbauer2851 3 года назад +4

    My human sexuality professor didn’t know the difference between straight and cisgender, so she would use “cisgender” when she meant straight.
    That’s one of the first ones I could think of that I specifically had to deal with (other than misgendering). I totally get your struggle of being trans in academia

  • @thedeterminedchild7835
    @thedeterminedchild7835 3 года назад +5

    Not me having to explain what DID/OSDD is to every therapist I’ve ever had 0.0

  • @diamondust2054
    @diamondust2054 3 года назад +6

    wow, you seem so precious, compassionate, calm & empathetic. my heart hurts at the thought of how much you felt the need to apologize when asking for basic understanding and i can tell that you’ve been hurt before, probably repeatedly during your lifetime. i just want to say that you never deserved it. standing up for yourself doesn’t make you entitled, it’s the bare minimum you owe yourself.
    i’m a cis, bi girl but thanks to other forms of systemic oppression, i can deeply relate to your readiness to defend yourself since you’re constantly forced to view yourself through the lens of someone that hates you, and to try and appease them. sounds to me like a classic case of the “fawn” trauma response if you know that.
    please don’t apologize for “upsetting cis people”- if you do, that’s on us. it means we’ve been taught outdated ideas that exclude human experiences, and *we* should challenge that, while you keep existing just as you are. it is our duty and responsibility to make space for you, not the other way around.
    you genuinely seem like such an incredible human being and i hope people in your life make sure to remind you of that. here’s a reminder that you don’t need to be selfless in order to be valid. you already are 💗

  • @ajexists1214
    @ajexists1214 3 года назад +68

    Ah yes
    ✨Transgender Pronouns✨

    • @xToxicFusselx
      @xToxicFusselx 3 года назад +2

      When he said that my brain went like:
      😐🤔🤨🤦🏻😂

  • @Heymlich
    @Heymlich 3 года назад +17

    I think teachers are required to know what they're talking about and not use their students as a resource in that way. It's cool when you write papers or hold presentations and the teacher learns something new (happened to me multiple times but I'm also in cultural studies and can explore a lot of niche topics), but if you're teaching a specific topic then you should do your research and at least get up to date with the terminology considering all the information out there.
    Tho the feeling of having to educate teachers is real, haha.

  • @skyclaw
    @skyclaw 3 года назад +9

    I think it’s 100% reasonable to expect someone who’s _literal job_ is to teach you about something not to make 101-level mistakes all the time. Like you say, the cis students in your class will hear the lecturer give them this mistaken info, and because it’s coming from an authority figure, most of them will just assume its correct, and that’s a serious problem.
    I think there’s more going on here than a four-to-five year delay due to peer review: ‘transgendered’ and ‘cisgendered’ have been deprecated for well over a decade at this point. Is there perhaps a problem of gender studies academics only reading/listening to other gender studies academics, rather than seriously engaging with the communities they study?

  • @brennenbeckwith
    @brennenbeckwith 3 года назад +5

    I relate to this so much, I did social work in the south and I so often became the teacher when I shouldn't have been. I had to defend myself so many times when the professor should have taken that responsibility, but how could they when they were just as under-educated about trans issues as the students I was defending myself against.

  • @maxquayle2519
    @maxquayle2519 3 года назад +10

    my science teacher (hs) thought down syndrome is whenever there is an amount of chromosomes other than 2

    • @chrissy9997
      @chrissy9997 2 года назад

      Going through this comments section is a real fucking trip. Makes me feel smart at least to know I'm smarter than so many highly educated people as someone with almost fuck all education. I thought 46 chromosomes (23 pairs) was like... actual basic biology.

  • @KatBambi
    @KatBambi 3 года назад +4

    Oof the zoom thing hit me in the heart. So I’m a afab trans non-binary individual. I used to be pronoun indifferent but then I worked on myself a bit and realized that I actually was just doing that to please and make the cis people around me happy and comfortable due to my need to people please. Anyways, this was all a long-winded way to say that I’ve been misgendered, A LOT. I’ve gotten to the point that it doesn’t hurt as much anymore since I try to not let others views or opinions effect me (mostly cause I have yet to come to terms with the fact that I am indeed a real human that exists in the external world outside of my attention).
    Anyways, this very semester, spring 2021 was the first time I started going out of my way to tell people my pronouns were now exclusively they/them. I put it in my bio, my name, I tell when asked. I never used to do that and it was a huge step for me and still makes me borderline anxiety attack nervous every time. However, I got misgenders over a zoom call with my pronouns in my name for the first time and it hurt in a new way.
    As I’ve said, I’m used to being misgendered, I mean it happens daily in my own house (dads a trump supporter and all that shit, moms cool but uniformed despite my nest efforts), but I’ve never had it happen where I *blatantly* put my pronouns in a place where she HAD to read to even see my name and know who was talking, let alone I was showing my face and I was looking very andro, WITH an enby flag in the back and she still said “she” and “young lady” and that just...it stung but in a way I’ve never felt. It felt like a blatant rejection of what I was telling her. I’ve been misgendered without blatant intent to do that before, but this was the first time it seemed like someone was going out of their way *to* use the wrong pronouns, if that makes any sense.
    Anyways, this was just a huge rant cause I needed to relate and sorta vent in a place where I’m assuming others will understand how I feel. And I just sorta need that solidarity, because I have been self-quarantining for over a year that this point (not leaving the house except for doctors visits since I’m severely immune-compromised), so being continuously misgendered at home with no reprieve and then the one place I assume I’m supposed to feel safe, especially since she preaches inclusivity and anti-hate, I was hurt and it was a new one and it just stung. It still stings.
    Anywho, you got a new follower, I love your makeup and how eloquently you were able to articulate yourself. You are a wonderful amazing human being and I wish I could be your friend. Anyways, peace out, and I hope anyone that made it this far in has an amazing day and if you haven’t yet, go eat and hydrate. It’s homophobic and transphobic not to take care of yourself

    • @KatBambi
      @KatBambi 3 года назад

      Also, imma buy your non-binary sweatshirt since I don’t have one yet and you seem like a cool person and I like the design so hehe :)

  • @tallsockclown
    @tallsockclown 3 года назад +12

    I would get so frustrated smh, I want to take some kind of gender studies class next semester and I am worried something like what you covered in this video is gonna happen and I'm honestly unsure of how I'd handle it haha

  • @brynrivenes5080
    @brynrivenes5080 3 года назад +3

    I took a woman's study class like a year ago and it was so awful as a trans person

    • @brynrivenes5080
      @brynrivenes5080 3 года назад +1

      And I'm a bio major currently taking a genetics class and I'm Tired tbh

  • @inkenpaulabottcher9325
    @inkenpaulabottcher9325 3 года назад +35

    How tf can someone use the wrong pronouns, if they are literally right in front of their eyes?? Plus: I don't think your name is inherently feminine? (I'm not quite sure because I'm not an native English speaker lol)

    • @moonlobotomy9061
      @moonlobotomy9061 3 года назад +11

      yeah, it seems pretty masculine or at least gender neutral to me.

    • @ijiwario4715
      @ijiwario4715 3 года назад +2

      The name “Ash” is gender neutral but names ending in “ton” are usually masculine so it’s pretty odd that this happened

    • @inkypunk
      @inkypunk 3 года назад +1

      @@ijiwario4715 I'm British, and from my perspective, English-speaking Americans and Canadians completely break the rules on European naming traditions anyway. This is not a bad thing at all imo, it's just very funny to subsequently see people arguing about the rules of a name that was never traditionally gendered. A big trend on American-English names is using traditional British surnames (which have no traditional "gender") as first names (Chase, Channing, Harley, Hunter, Lincoln, Mackenzie, ASHTON), but also breaking the rules on traditionally gendered European names. Naming trends and gendered names drift over time anyway. Evelyn used to be masculine but is now considered feminine.

  • @topcat104
    @topcat104 3 года назад +10

    Also don't apologize for sounding arrogant. Lot of times older people regardless of education/professionalism status they aren't fully informed on a certain topic (their cis Non-LGBT people they aren't gonna know lol) and they end up teaching inaccurate agenda/misinformation. It's ok to correct them just as long as you stay respectful, kind and understanding. But of course your always like that so I'm not worried lol

  • @garfunkel555
    @garfunkel555 2 года назад +4

    i like that you’re calling things taught by a professor in a school wrong while most of your views of gender and knowledge comes from tumblr

  • @greyghost5112
    @greyghost5112 3 года назад +4

    your videos always make me feel better, i’m having a lot of anxiety today so i’m really happy you posted ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜

  • @miranda8057
    @miranda8057 3 года назад +8

    i feel u ..... wrote my final gender studies exam about transmedicalism and assimilationist politics and my professor said she'd never even heard the term

    • @miranda8057
      @miranda8057 3 года назад +3

      idk maybe my standards r a bit high but i just expected that as a gender studies professor she might have been more educated abt contemporary lgbt politics

  • @chocokittybo
    @chocokittybo 3 года назад +9

    The phrase "Gender and transgender pronouns" made me have to pause the video and let out several loud exasperated sighs. Pause as in I'm typing this with the video stuck at 12:54

  • @discountexorcist
    @discountexorcist 3 года назад +1

    i love your art so much...the piece you showed at 19:26 is so cool!!!

  • @mariona902
    @mariona902 3 года назад +1

    thank you for your video, that's important to share those experiences, (also your makeup is gorgeous!)

  • @debgenerate
    @debgenerate 3 года назад +6

    I have my pronouns set beside my Canvas name that professors and other students can see and that caused some interesting experiences in a drawing class I had. one time another student referred to me with she/her pronouns and my professor corrected them with something along the lines of "Deb's a they/them." I didn't have much of an issue with that, though I did find it a little funny that she treated pronouns like nouns. it was quite strange when later on in the semester she seemed to completely forget this and referred to me with she/her. I have a similar issue with many of the friends I talk to because I used to go by any pronouns but learned that I'm more comfortable going by just they/them rather recently. I have some older professors who needed to be corrected once and don't seem to have an issue with using proper pronouns, but I've corrected some friends of mine multiple times and they still use she/her. it's something that I find rather strange because many of my professors probably grew up during times where singular they/them pronouns weren't commonly used yet it's my friends who are around the same age as me who just don't seem to get how they work

  • @rei6262
    @rei6262 3 года назад +6

    I relate to this on a spiritual level.
    I'm non-binary and a language student, I basically study philology and translation, and it always gets me how people can't simply use vocabulary properly or the right words. Like, it's literally what I am studying for so I'm hoping at least my teachers do. It literally costs nothing but knowing the meaning of a word.
    I get misgendered all the time (mainly because my mother language is Spanish and we have no neutral pronouns/gender) and it's especially frustrating when it comes to linguistic, when we study the different use of language in men and women and how, supposedly, the reason is biology. But of course there's no mention at all of intersex and non-binary people -and the few times it's talked about, the whole thing is approached as a joke, a trend, and in a very disrespectful way. And it hurts so much. Many times, I also happen to know more than the teacher about what they're talking about and it doesn't make it better. It just makes me feel more insecure about the world and the education I'm paying for, and I can't also speak up because I'm most likely going to be told off or something.
    Another point I also want to make related to that is the erasure, which is huge. I can get someone believes being part of the LGBTIQ+ community is a lifestyle (which is not, but I can get someone thinks that way), but we are talking about education: research must be made, and properly, in order to address reality the way it actually is instead of educating people by indoctrinating them with some bias ideology based on hate speech and misinformation/lack of it to get to the erasure of everything that has been decided to be “non-normative”.
    I can't even participate helping other students with their researchs/end-of-degree projects because it's usually through surveys and so, and one of the mandatory questions is always about sex/gender. Most of the times they get this two wrong, like asking about your SEX and the TWO options being MAN and WOMAN or asking about your GENDER and the TWO options being FEMALE and MALE. Like, at least get it straight, don't mix both terms... Or provide an "Other/Prefer not to answer" option.
    I kinda feel like I shouldn’t comment this but I guess I really needed to vent because I feel so dysphoric and unsafe at college and home that I’ve even thought about dropping out and it’s only my first year… So thanks Internet (?) And definitely thanks Ashton for the amazing video

    • @rei6262
      @rei6262 3 года назад +1

      @@ravenseth9288 yeah, that's exactly how Spanish is. Trying to talk without gendered language is almost like a mind game, you really have to twist the grammar and sometimes even syntax and use more "complex" words, which usually makes people think that you're being priggish.

  • @emilyganguly277
    @emilyganguly277 3 года назад +2

    Your presence is incredibly soothing and inspiring.

  • @someperson8547
    @someperson8547 3 года назад +1

    randomly got recommended this video and now I'm binging your whole channel. ty for being swag and making cool videos!

  • @kainewman6076
    @kainewman6076 3 года назад +1

    So glad your vid got recommended to me! Had alittle scroll through your videos and can see that we have a lot of identities in common and I’ve been needing to consume more content from creators that I can relate to recently