you're allowed to be angry at straight people.
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- Опубликовано: 20 май 2020
- Jessie Paege’s original video:
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Articles on Taylor Swift:
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the word "transgendered" activates my fight or flight response dude i can only hear it in a fox news anchor voice
Also "transgenderism" makes me think of the word epidemic. 🤮
Why is transgender a wrong word to use? I have seen trans people use it.
@@valentinamariamanieri3988 transgender is a fine word to use (ex: "she is transgender"), but "transgendered" (ex: "she is transgendered" or "transgendered youth") isn't grammatically correct. hope that makes sense
@@skylar2600 oooh ok thanks. I didn't quite understand what they were saying in the video
@@valentinamariamanieri3988 np!
I don’t know who needs to hear this but your sexuality does not cancel your white privilege. 🤷🏽♀️
a lot of people. a lot of people need to hear that.
Exactly.
I am biracial (Latino and white) and I realize the privilege I have, b/c my skin is lighter. My gayness doesn't cancel that, especially since I'm in the closet. We need to end this Oppression Olympics.
@@idgaffoyer9703 Black Americans would like to disagree
White privilege:, discovering something that doesn’t exist
THANK YOU FOR SAYING THAT
i once saw someone say that “ally” is a label that you can’t give yourself but can only receive from the community you’re helping
and i think anyone who wants to be an ally should know that
How do I become an ally?
@aurora b that's so gay
@@Josh-rn1em nice insult. How about actually trying next time, ok?
@@spamcan7564 k
@aurora b that's pretty gay man
I completely agree. However, I would also like to point out that a lot of biphobia comes in the form of “bi people in het relationships are just straight” which is extremely harmful.
Finally someone spoke up about it
i really hate when people are like "oh yeah these two girls are in a lesbian relationship" when they're actually both bi?? and if a bi girl were to date a guy she's suddenly in a het couple? like shut up ... just say romantic couple instead of trying to label other people's relationships. BUT if you're gonna label a couple being together then at least be all-inclusive?? like the bi girls dating, just say sapphic couple so you're not making it sound like you're trying to turn two bi people into not-bi people.
@Olive but see th problem with that is that it encourages the idea that bi people can just choose to date the opposite gender when its convenient which kinda rlly correlates with the idea that sexuality is a choice-which we all know it's not. I'm not attacking you, just something i wish gay people in general would remember
@@zcalhoun3638 Privilege isn't (majority of the time) something you choose. You don't choose white privilege, you don't choose cis privilege, you don't choose straight privilege. When it comes to "passing privilege" in relationships, its simply that to someone on the outside will probably assume you're straight (because you're in an opposite sex relationship), and you probably won't get discriminated against until you speak out that you aren't straight. Slightly off topic, but "passing privilege" in terms of "looking straight/cis" is engrained in our societies stereotypes of cis/straight people, and that's horrible but it IS privilege for the world to see you as "normal". Its not something within your control, and you are NOT invalid because you don't "look trans/not straight", but its still a privilege. One of my "friends" didn't understand this, on top of the fact he tried saying male gender conforming privilege (this is especially important to me because I'm a fem presenting demiboy) and cis privilege aren't real. 😐 we aren't friends anymore, lmao
"het passing bi's are straight, and gay passing bi's are gay" Is a BULLSHIT mentality. There's also "Bi's are half gay half straight" Which, techincally, yes, but it's also a harmful mentality.
When we complain about the straights or the cis, we aren't complaining about all straight or cis people, we are complaining about the straightsTM and the cisTM. There's a difference. Even people who consider themselves to be accepting still commit microagressions against the community, especially towards trans people. If you really are an ally you'll understand that we aren't talking about you.
Edit( I don't speak for everyone this is my opinion)
Exactly we actually complain about being fucking oppressed. If people don't get or wanna accept that then I don't know what more to tell them...
@@SpeedOfTheEarth You dont have to its a choice
I really don't care as long as it helps me
But comments like this still make me feel "bad" for being cis/white/straight
You worded this so well
I feel like instead of using the word ally we should classify people as either homphobic/transphobic, or normal, because allyship is the base line that anyone with a moral compass should be working off of.
I agree. We should appreciate but not praise having human decency and wanting equality?
To me someone just being not homophobic/transphobic shouldn't make someone an ally, and instead that title should be reserved for non-lgbt (and cis!) people who are actively helping us fight homophobia and transphobia. Just like being not-racist isn't enough and we need to be anti-racist, we need people to be actively anti-homophobic and anti-transphobic.
@@tresfoil cis people count as non-lgbt (unless they aren't straight) but i agree!
Personally i think that allyship is not "the baseline" as you said, but the willingness to learn from and listen to marginalised groups and the active work to undo all of your subconscious biases, not just "oh i don't hate so i'm an ally, right guys?!??!" Allyship is a title that is earned and isnt something you can label yourself as willy nilly without putting in the work.
transphobia and homophobia is the norm
being gay on the internet isnt as fun as being gay irl
me: heterophobia isn't real
straight person: why do lgbt ppl get a whole month when there isn't a straight pride
me: actually, i'm a heterophobe now
LOL that’s so accurate for me 😂
So I'm straight you hate me now dAmN
Wow, you’re ignorant
Same
Heterphobia actually does exist, its a thing just like homophobia. Obviously not has oftenly referred to but it is a real thing.
I like how you said “nonmen” when talking about people saying “I hate men,” instead of just “women.” It was a little thing but it made me feel included. Most people just say “women,” and while it never bothered me, it feels nice to be acknowledged as a nonbinary who says “ugh, men,” a lot, aha.
I'm a trans guy who says "Why do men?" quite often, so I feel ya, lol.
I liked that too :3:
men shouldn't be the default.
Yeah, this ain’t it.
Carolina Hernandez I mean it’s not sexist, but it’s fucked up uk? I’ll be saying “why do women” quite often now.
Omg i saw her video and i was like "yup i really disagree with it. If i was a youtuber, id sure talk about it" and boom! There you are!
Also i really appreciate that you brought up her saying "cisgendered". Im scared myself to bring that up because often cis people told me its "nit-picky". But honestly, when i hear cis people saying "cisgendered" or "transgendered" and such, it just tells me they never really listened to a trans person talking or maybe did but didnt remember what they said. Which is a red flag if they wanna talk about our issues!
thank you !! yeah it really bothers me when ppl say cisgendered. and ik Jessie won’t see this but maybe someone’ll learn that if you don’t know the terminology you should probably not say anything
Yeah whenever people say “transgendered” they either don’t know better or do and don’t care. I’m a cis lesbian but the majority of my friends are trans and one of my professors once said “transgendered” so I immediately corrected her saying “it’s not a verb so you wouldn’t have the -ed” and she immediately got it.
Could someone explain to me what’s wrong with these terms ? I’ve never heard of any discourse surrounding them, and I want to stay educated !
@@artbyarinicole6596 I'm not sure about this but I think that the issue is that words like 'cisgendered' and 'transgendered' are not used in the LGBT+ community, so using them indicates that you haven't actually bothered to educate yourselves on those topics (or at least from the perspective of LGBT people).
@@artbyarinicole6596 I know this was a month ago, but since the other person who responded wasn’t sure, I wanted to clarify. The terms transgendered and cisgendered don’t make sense grammatically. For example, one would say a transgender person vs saying a transgendered person. On the second, you’re using the word (which is an adjective) incorrectly. An adjective ending in -ed describes an emotion or feeling (ex. bored, annoyed, tired). You don’t feel transgendered, you are transgender. It describes a type of person, not a type of feeling or emotion. I’m sure some people have other, perhaps more personal, reasons for disliking it as well. It’s harder for me to articulate my personal gripes with it, so I’d definitely recommend listening to other trans people’s perspectives on the matter. It being grammatically incorrect isn’t the only thing bad about the term ‘transgendered,’ honestly. 😅 But I hope this comment can be just a little bit informative, if anything.
Hey, could you make a video on the gay panic defense laws in the USA?? I think that could be really helpful and informative
yes!
gay panic defense laws? what's that
@@shadow_song pretty much lgbtq+ people can be legally killed if the murder say they had such a huge fear. That caused them to panic and kill the person in defence of being flirted with. It's a thing in most states.
@@themushroommonarch what the actual fuck, that can't be real.. that's seriously fucked up... i never knew!
It's very scary, I'm extra nervous because I live in a state where it's legal
yeah I definitely feel like she was putting straight allies on a pedestal..like supporting people’s rights is a normal thing that people should do and it shouldn’t be put above actual lgbtq+ people’s experiences
i wholeheartedly agree, but i guess thats what we must do to encourage people to do so. its human nature, i suppose
this is really small but thanks for saying houseless instead of homeless, im not houseless but i know a lot of people and listen to a lot of artists who are, idk it just made me happy it means a lot
yeah ofc !! it’s something I’ve seen become more common recently :)
Sorry if it's okay but may I ask on why it's a good term? Sorry again just wondering
I also would like to know (:
the bookworm hotel I think it’s meant to say that people can have a home somewhere but don’t have a house. So a houseless person may have a home somewhere in a field but that doesn’t mean they have a house in that field. Please someone correct me if I’m wrong. Stay strong. Live on.
hi weasels!
Taylor Swift isn’t the peak of allyship and idk why anyone would pretend she is.
Edit: 1. Stop saying Taylor is queer when she has never said that. It’s obsessive and weird.
2. I don’t hate Taylor Swift. I don’t think about her at all in my day to day life. I don’t care about her. I simply commented on a RUclips video she was mentioned in.
KFLLAZOOA LIKE she really compared her struggles and tried to write a song (you need to calm down) that talked about her haters and homophobic people as if they were the same
I don't think she's just an ally...
She also made a song about how men have it so much better than women, as if that makes it any better.
She is the most cishet™ person I know ?! Like the basic straight blondie. I don't see her allyship ever.
@@dreamwish286 She made a song about double standards in the music industry.
"The point isn't to alienate allies or oppress straight people, but to express our frustration with the institution of heteronormativity" love that
I wish more people would embrace the complexity of the structures that lead to social injustice and oppression. How are we to move forward if we do not change the foundational aspects of society that create oppression? Thank you for examining things on this level publicly :)
"embrace the complexity... That leads to social injustice"!!??! What? Please explain this... Do you mean... Embrace the opression?
When referencing the “I hate straight people” and the “They hate men” phrases and then saying “fuck white people” when speaking about injustice involving POC can enforce an aggressiveness stereotype with people of color. I just thought that jump between hate and curse words was out of place and can represent a subconscious bias when speaking about people of color. I am a person of color and I feel like phrasing and structure can have a large impact and thinking about that more could help communicate your thoughts in a even more, knowledgeable way. ( I edited this a lot because I wanted to be as clear as I could )
Yeah, I definitely agree. The jump to curse words made me feel...weird, but I didn’t understand why.
and i don't think ive ever heard anyone say fuck white people?? maybe 'white people have zero taste in anything' or 'white people are dumb' but not fuck white people?? i think they made it up, unintentionally making it harsher. Personally i've never been offended by any of that which is why i struggle to understand why straight ppl get their feelings hurt so easily lmao
Honestly wouldn’t have noticed without reading this comment, I really do appreciate this comment so I can be a better ally in the future
@Zecodeco x Hi, unless I've misunderstood the target of your comment, their pronouns are he/they. I know your comment isn't too visible but please be careful about incorrect gendering
@@Red-Advice i don't know who i was referring to either; i haven't seen the original video yet. yes ofc im so sorry i'll change it right away. I meant the person who made the video saying we shouldn't hate straight ppl that's who you're referring to as well right?(just wanted to make sure)
I could listen to an hour more of this tbh
Me too ! I also love Ashton going back to his more woman/ feminine look.
Hecc yeah. Who else wanna see that taylor swift video???
@@yurt8522 it's just called feminine, but I don't think he's very feminine? he just has makeup on
oh im SO excited you're covering this !!! i immediately had some issues with her video as well, the whole "we need to be nice to cishet people because they dont oppress us ANYMORE!!!" has always rubbed me the wrong way. glad to see this kind of discussion presented in such a respectful and informative way.
heterophobia? more like, doesntexistia
i- i dont get it
GlitchyYT Bc heterophobia isn’t real
@@bongzilla7770 *good*
johnny sioux It does though
Little piece of bread lmao
I can't believe they think "ew straight tiktok " is a "heterophobia" blows my mind. If we actually had things like heterophobia and "reverse systematic racism" then they wouldn't even have a platform to say that on 😶😶
people be like " OmG HeTeRoPhObIa!1!1!1" when someone on twitter says lol i hate straight people. like no love if you think thats being oppressed-
Literally we go “ew straight tiktok “ because its ALL statutory r POV videos and statutory r-ists. Each week, a new creator gets a slew of allegations that get ignored after a few months. It’s literally so gross.
@Dokter Goat i wonder how i could explain to you that if the minority (lgbtq ppl) "insult" the majority (hetero ppl) it really doesnt do much, the MOST that can happen is that youd get your feelings hurt, whereas lgbtq ppl could get beaten, bullied, sent to jail, disowned, sometimes even given the death penalty etc. that should be obvious if you have common sense. secondly, "gay ppl talking shit" is only 13 year old twitter kids who are like "yo ewwww straight people suuck" and if that affects you so much then get off the internet :)
And it ain’t homophobia when we say “ew gay tiktok”
@@awkwardfreakinperson7936 so you like straight tiktok...? ew
isnt she a friend of miles, alex and other trans people, and shes still saying stuff like cisgendered...bruh
I wanna just say respecting the community and using correct language DOES NOT MAKE YOU AN ALLY but it does make you a lovely and hopefully normal person
Straight people are like the person who throws a party and tells you you’re not invited, but then when you throw your own party (because you weren’t invited to theirs) they act like you’re a bully for not inviting them
What is this would turning into....
AStraightFemale WhoDoesntMatter sorry but I speak the truth
What about people who are not invited to either party? Like asexuals. Straight people hate them cause they are not obsessed with sex, and lgtbq people hate them too because that is a sexually charged (overly so) environment too and because asexuals allegedly don't experience hardships, discrimination and not in any danger... When I thought I was heteroromantic and asexual, the hatred coming from the lgbtq community put me off and surprised me cause I didn't feel like I did anything to hurt them and they were violently protesting against 'letting' asexual people in. Now I know I am panromantic but I still don't consider myself part of the lgbtq community and it's partly because of that. They also make it seem like this is a competition where if I have a fairly average life and nobody wants to kill me for identity or don't have serious internal struggles, then I don't need or deserve to be in the community. So there is plenty of hatred, separation and 'not inviting' inside the community, it doesn't just come from the outside.
and thats called generalizing
Damn not every straight person is like this. I know you probably weren't going after all straight people ( hopefully ) but like...nvm.
Something that bothers me about the “their help is just as valid as an LGBT person’s help” (I’m paraphrasing please don’t get on me for that,) is that my solidarity should not be the same as a straight person’s allyship. It doesn’t mean their help isn’t appreciated, but there’s a difference between a completely healthy dude coming up and helping you when you’ve been hurt and someone who is experiencing the same or a similar hurt to you helping you anyways. I’m not saying that we should be more grateful for other members of the community helping when they can I’m just saying it’s NOT the same.
Extremely this!! Help from cis people is great and necessary, but that’s not always the help I need. I adore my cis girlfriend, but sometimes I need to go to my fellow nonbinary friends when I’m having issues with transphobia, or even just feeling lonely & misunderstood and want to be around folks like me. And my girlfriend understands this! She knows being an ally isn’t the same as being in the community, and she does whatever she can to help me, but she is fully aware there are some times she can’t! I wish all cis allies had this viewpoint.
I'm not even 2 minutes into the video but I just have to compliment how proffesional you're about the discussion,everyone should be able to voice their own opinions without getting disrespectful,but sadly people hardly seem to do that
youre right and you SHOULD say it
thank u 😌 this is now a heterophobia zone only
Ashton Daniel i see a straight person and i floor it. terrifying
@@n.c.435 hi im straight
@@hefefggre ew
nikolas c okay, no that’s not cute.
there's a saying I heard from some poc that goes "there are white people, and then there are people who happen to be white" and I think that can be applied here too.
thats stupid. thats like saying "just because you're white doesn't mean that you're like the others." the only truth is "there are caring people, and there are crap people."
it reminds me of the "honey, ur not white, ur just caucasian" lol
Huh? That's the same sentence lmao.
I also think people need to understand that being a part of the community doesn't make every aspect of your identify oppressed, like I'm a trans bi man, I'm oppressed because I'm trans and bi not because I'm a man and it's the same for straight trans people, they're not oppressed because they're straight and it sounds obvious but I feel like some people struggle to understand that
You are not oppressed. You just crave attention
@@PepsiMagt no one asked
ah yes, i am transgendered, the past tense of transgender, obviously
Tehe
i am transgendering
@@fiona9891 I love this lol
@@fiona9891 can’t believe you transgendered 2 years ago /j
@@kiwipomegranate still transgendering actually
How about we dont hate on anybody?
Agreed.
Preach
I understand, but we have to acknowledge that 'fuck (certain group of people)' is an unhealthy coping mechanism
fr 💀
True-
How is one gonna get healthy if we can't afford it tho. Coming from a flavour of gay btw.
i really like both you and jessie, and its really refreshing to see inter community discussion that is respectful and in good faith bc thats fucking rare these days!
Hey Ashton I really loved this video! Definitely agree with what you said and I’m glad you made this video💓
Super side note but I know that she brought up the point of trusting people (and I’m not saying she doesn’t recognize this) but for many LGBT+ people that trust can be very hard to hold for some people because of traumatic experiences with similar people in the past. So idk I know her video was supposed more light hearted and foster kindness (which is absolutely valid) but I think it’s important to highlight trust is not always easy. (I’m also adding this because I have trauma surrounding trusting people/my gender identity and how I’ve been treated in the past with people who I initially trusted and cared about)
A lot of people seem to be going "but if you switch out straight with gay it sounds really bigoted." there is often a reason for that. If someone says "I hate straight people." then they're often talking about something that they frequently do, such as assume bi people 'pick a side', that there has to be a 'man' in the relationship, etc. When people say "I hate gay people." they often mean that they hate gay folk BECAUSE they're gay, no other reason. One is hate over action, the other is hate over existing.
Which makes no sense, someone can hate straight people for being straight.
Uhh? Proved the point a little, it does sound bigoted to just say "I hate gays". "I hate straight people" is used to refer to homophobes and transphobes, but it doesn't show that a person doesn't think all straight people are bad. The use of "some" or just plain out saying "homophobes" is neglected, which is why people think this.
Not really but go off sis
I hate straight people for being straight but I wouldn't kick out my children for it!
one is punching up one is punching down
White lgbt people often say that straight people haven’t been not allowed to marry but they forget about interracial marriage being outlawed or refused
Yeah, but thats a problem about racism, it wasn't because they were straight, it was because they were different colours. I say this as a mixed person, that theres a difference between the two, a big difference.
This is a great point, I’ve actually never thought about this before
yeah but the issue there wasnt that *straight* people weren't allowed to get married period, it was interracial couples not being allowed to get married, making the issue racism, not 'heterophobia'. plus if had you been a white straight person in the past not allowed to marry your poc lover then *you* weren't the one being discriminated against, it would have been your black partner, and they would have been discriminated against for being black, not for being straight. not that that makes it okay ofc obviously racism is uh. not okay. but its certainly not 'heterophobia' and framing it as that discredits the actual discrimination that poc went and are going through
That’s not heterophobia. That’s racism.
@@harperweedon2680 it’s really not a good point. The point is about racism. Not heterophobia
Thank you so much for making this video. As a bisexual white teenaged girl who doesn’t know much about politics and also watch Jessie, this video really educated me. I watched the whole video and took the time to read on google whatever I didn’t understand. I love how nicely you discuss about subjects that bothers you so much without hate, and raise awareness.
Basically: jessie, we need EQUITY, not only equality. Also, just discovered your channel, and it's great. You are so well spoken, definitely subscribing :)
Straight people can be scary so I get people having a phobia of us.
Lmao
I mean, gay people can be scary as well
Cishet people are mostly horrible most of the times. not all of them, but enough of them to curse and literally screw over the ones who did nothing wrong.
We are almost hopeless in a way. the world would be better without us.
People are scary in general.
i am not an ally neither am i homophobic, i just don't care
seems like you forget people like me are the absolute majority of straight
Cis people should be more afraid of perpetuating systems of oppresion than to be accused of "virtue signaling"
there's a difference between straight people and Straight People™ lmao
Yeah it's the straights ™ that are the bad ones
Yeah, it's the same things when someone says "Ugh, I hate when men™" and every single man on the planet has to comment going "but not all men, I don't do that" like, great, I wasn't talking about you, George, go feel good about yourself for letting everyone know that.
Hmm, some people don't write TM or add any jokey connotation.
@@Wren796 what straights tm ?
@@meganm3820 then don't say I hat when men just fucking say I hate when he does that
it makes me uncomfortable how she paints homophobes as a "select few", i think it shows how unaware she's of her privilege. for my own safety, i don't have the option to just "trust people", that would be very dangerous and would end up badly for me
They're literally the majority on this planet even to this day lol
@@aby110 There the minority, you meet homophobic people, you haven't met the majority of humans
I saw the name of Jessie’s video and didn’t watch it bc it didn’t sound like something I would agree with at all. Your video is a great discussion about the differences people have in what type of community they grew up in. Even though Jessie has struggled with her sexuality, when she came out to people close to her, she got a lot of positive feedback. But if I was to come out to a lot of the people I’m close to, I would be kicked out. I feel for Jessie’s point but the problem is we can’t always keep the peace, we need to be loud and critique those with more power than us. I really liked your point about saying “I hate straight people” and “I hate white people”, oppressed people should be allowed to express their dislike of communities that have oppressed them without getting hate for it.
your hair is so cute rn
right???
I was just thinking that
I don’t know why people obsess with sexuality we are all people and we aren’t just defined by sexuality we as humans are so much more than that
Exactly
yeah, im literally seeing comments not bothering to type homophobic but they type straight instead
like what did the ones who is okay with lgbt even do
after what us cishet people have done, we don't really deserve a second chance. I don't think we'll be ever be able to repair the damage we have done.
@@mato32dxswag54 dude chill. Are you a homophobic person? If not than their is no need for any chance needed for you at all, since you never did anything wrong. Just call it out whenever you see any homophobia. You don’t have to group yourself or others like that dude. You don’t gotta own up to anything. You can help others tho who are in need tho.
@@molester628 possibly they are not, or may have an inferiority complex.
as a bi enby i still sorta disagree with you, but i appreciate you being super respectful about this and as long as they don't bash others, different opinions in the world are a great thing. keep up the cool content dood
about twitter and what I’ve seen of her on there: as someone on edtwt/ eating disorder Twitter, I’ve seen her on there quite a bit. Quite a few people on edtwt have been talking about her ED recovery and saying gross stuff about her body now and using her old pics as thinspo. It’s quite sickening, seeing how she’s so much happier now after recovery and how sick edtwt can be
What makes me mad, is that lgbtq wants us so accept us, which is logic. But straight is just as normal as gay, or sny other sexuality, i got really mad at a comment on a straight love story it said:
I thought it was yaoi, but when i saw it was straight i was like: im out
I was like.. whats wrong with straight? Lgbtq and straight has no difference in ‘normal’ being.
finally someone who gets it
Tbh what’s the point about them wanted equally but they don’t wanna support the other group?
taylor equating homophobia to haters was really all i needed to know about YNTCD
I think it is just dumb for people that want to be accepted to hate and be assholes to others that are not them
iconic video as always✨✨✨
thank u for bringing up the point that equality isnt exactly needed to be the focus. my gender is inextricably tied to capitalist struggles and inaccessibility to gender affirming medical services, and the ableist nature of the capitalist state and the healthcare system prohibiting mentally ill, neurodivergent and disabled ppl from thriving also intercepts with this. equality isnt gonna fix that!
and yes ABSOLUTELY its very much like the "not all men" type thing
like if you are threatened by the "i hate men" "i hate white people" "i hate cishet ppl" statements then theres a larger issue to address!!!
also FUCK taylor swift, full stop lmaooo
Saying “I hate white people” sounds exactly like what it sounds. There is a issue to address, but that doesn’t give anyone the excuse to say that stuff, or mean people are gonna ignore when you say “I hate men” even if you apparently don’t actually mean it, but again saying “I hate xyz group” sounds exactly like how it is and how you say it. Of course you’ll get “not all xyz” people in your chat.
Except it can still be harmful. I’m the only straight person in my group of about six friends and they make these jokes multiple times a day and it makes me uncomfortable. It would be different if it were one person who didn’t identify as straight taking to a bunch of straight people so I get your point. But I’m just trying to say we need to be careful. It’s okay to express frustration I get it. But constantly hearing ‘I hate straight people’ from my closest friends hurt. What hurts even more is them saying ‘your too nice to be straight’ or ‘you don’t act straight I don’t think you are.’ It sucks because they constantly tell me I’m lying to myself when I say I’m straight. Point is, this stuff is fine in moderation but to use your example of ‘I hate all men’. I’ve had horrible experiences with men but I don’t say that. If I want to express my anger it would be ‘I hate male privilege’ not ‘I hate men’. Because I have some friends who identify as male and I don’t hate them and I know it makes them uncomfortable. They shouldn’t feel guilty because of things other men have done to me. And I think it’s the same with hereophobia.
If ur straight ur straight no one can change what you go bye. And I understand talk to ur friends about it because a lot of gay or trans people joke around and say stuff like that and most people say "I hate men " and stuff like that because of men who harm other not men that are great. But ur feeling are 100% valid and makes sense talk to ur friends about how you feel uncomfortable and hurt. And idk if you mean saying this but hetophobia isn't a real thing but ur feeling are real and talk to ur friends
@@goldiemew1125 I have. They tell me I have no right to be uncomfortable or angry. They’re right I’ll never experience that to the level they did but an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind right? If someone punched you you have the right to punch them back but it doesn’t mean you should. I just.. I wish people weren’t so hostile.
@@goldiemew1125 also heterophobia is a real thing just like people can be racist to white people. The thing is it never really happens so it’s really not important and the people that partake in those are the vast minority who have no power over anything. The thing is, it’s one thing to bully the majority it’s different to bully the minority. It’s all power dynamic. Making straight jokes is a way to get power back I get it. But people gotta realize that power dynamics change and where they are in one part of the world is different from another. Like making straight jokes when you live in a very homophobic society is very valid and gives power to the oppressed. But when you’re in a community where homophobia isn’t that present it becomes different. In my school there are more people making straight jokes then assholes making gay jokes... so it’s always circumstance and the environment. So in some cases saying these things is fine but in others it’s just damaging and makes people hate each other more. And honestly I’m so sick of people judging other people based of gender or sexuality or race. It’s stupid. It’s so stupid. Our society is like a 30 year old who lives in there parents basement. Sure it may have had reason in the beginning (not saying it’s okay just saying I can see how things could go wrong like this), know with people being idiots and all and scared of new things or change, at the start but seriously we’ve had so much time to develop and we’ve gotten nowhere.
@@alwayssarc yes people shouldn't be very harsh and mean if there saying that all straight people are horrible. That makes sense and you have the right to feel uncomfortable but it all depends on what there saying. Yes you have never felt those hard time so understand there not talking about you there talking about homophobic people or people that hurt us that was straight so don't worry about it and keep being you and know that they are not talking about allies
"I have a hoard of gender labels like a dragon"
Love that
I love hearing respectful disagreement that can acknowledge where all parties agree, and not invalidate other people (except maybe when it comes to people who've made their bigotry an identity)! That's one of the things I love most about your channel, and much of why I stuck around when I first stumbled upon it.
Also, FYI, there's no link to her video in the description. Thought you might like to know.
Yoooooo I love the really open discussion. Like I usually dont watch videos like this but this was so well done, backed up with well explained points of views and kinda just open my eyes to points of views I hadn't really ever considered. Like I feel like I'm gonna see some kind of book from you in the future or some kind of essay that people cant dispute bc you only bring the real facts 🤙🙌. I also feel like shame has made LGBTQ people to glorify those that accept them, like with Taylor Swift, but like why glorify someone for acknowledging someones existence tho.
your makeup and hair look so good!! just wanted to say, when I clicked on the video it made me smile :D
I just watched the society and now I come here..
@@13gudadod 🙃
BRO YOUR HAIR
complete bomb
also, i didnt watch jessies video because after 10 seconds i was just
no
I love Jessie and you so seeing this video made me kinda scared (even though I know you don't spread hate). I think both you and Jessie made great points in your videos and I love how you're openly having a discussion that is important. I think since there are so many different view points within the community conversations and discussions are more affective than hatred towards each other. I live in a house where I'm the only person within the lgbtqia+ community so videos like these not only educate me but help me educate my support family that I'm lucky to have.
I’m glad someone did a response in such a formal manner, I saw the video jessie posted and I usually really like her videos but it made me feel uncomfortable. Even before I came out I saw a difference between straight people and lgbt+ community among society and it angered me, I don’t have the vocabulary or knowledge to really fight about it but I do see the lgbt+ as a safe place away from straight people this video feels a lot like letting straight girls in gay clubs because the feel “safe”.
Heterophobia and homophobia : hating people because of their love for a specific gender.
Same thing. (im lesbian if yall want to know)
They are really not the same thing. Did you not watch the video, or did you just not pay attention? Also, you being gay doesn't automatically make your opinion valid.
@@TheProxy066 I did watch the video and it's an opinion. I think hating anyone for their sexuality is hateful. And "doesnt make your opinion valid"? since my opinion is opposing to yours, its invalid? If yall cant be respectful, I think its hypocritical
I'm straight and y'all can hate but I won't care
I don't hate straight people, I usually just say "I can't stand heterosexual people". It's mainly to refer to the fact that every romantic tv show or movie or story I have watched/read has been about cishets. Also, my supportive cishet mom told me, a non-binary bi/pan/omni, that I shouldn't use the term queer to refer to myself. My cishet mom told me, a queer person, how I should or shouldn't use MY culture's terminology. Like, mom, I know you're supportive, but shut the fuck up. I love her to death, but damn.
@@geminiwolf0077Specifically outright saying you can’t stand a group is still gonna come off as hatred from the perspective of that group, even if you back-pedal to make it seem less hateful to that group.
what the hell is even that
(edit: i realize ashton talked about this in the video i apologize) something i can discuss on this isn‘t a disagreement, just because sometimes i think ”bashing“ (not even bashing but just jokes honestly) about straight people kinda only is annoying when it feels like straight trans people are being pushed away from the community because the lgbt community (mainly online platforms specifically) is seen as “a gay community“. as a trans bisexual dude in a relationship with a bi girl, sometimes i feel a bit excluded from the fun because i feel like i‘m seen as “too straight“. and as a trans person i want to lift up other trans voices, and even ones who may not have the comfortability of feeling included in regards to sexuality. i can imagine a few straight trans people may feel like they don’t exactly belong with other lgbt at times. this isn’t to criticize the community or to disregard ashton‘s point of view at all cause i agree with them wholeheartedly through this video, but just maybe a different perspective of my own can kinda shine light on a discussion?
100% agree.
5:40 u can skip if want to go straight up to the discussion
9:21 about allies understanding what "I hate white/straight people" means.
True. Aspiring allies, not so much though. Ideas ok, venting ok, but language? Problematic. Counter-productive. And, as end result, exclusionist.
I don't mean we must tone-police ourselves. As you said, anger is valid. But there is a tradeoff here that we should aknowledge.
Otherwise, I tend to agree with pretty much all you said. Not many strong feelings either way though.
24:36 Idk I really disagree with this because as a trans person my gender identity has a lot to with my life
yeah I agree, for some lgbt+ people its a bigger part of their life than others. just because it's not super important to her identity, it can be to others and she should think about that imo.
Also, the whole idea of "don't let your sexuality/gender identity define you" is just playing into respectability politics. Like, I'm a lesbian and a lot of what I do has to do with being a lesbian, and I shouldn't be ashamed of that. Straight people do things related to their heterosexuality all the time, yet no one is complaining.
Hello, kind human. Your vibes are immaculate, thanks for existing.
Jessie Paege just talked about your video on her TikTok livestream. All she said is that she stands by what she said.
Edit: I'm also a supporter of yours as I am of Jessies, I may not agree with your opinion but I respect it. :)
i wish this had showed up in my recommendations sooner! i agree with basically all of your points, especially the thing about equality. i'm so tired of people saying lgbt people "just want equality" like, no. i want equal rights, yes, but i also want to abolish the systems that made it possible for our rights to be taken away in the first place. overall great vid!
this intro is like "please don't hurt my family"
also brought to rot in the background??? holy shit yes
None of us is free until ALL OF US are free.
damn straight
LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK
This is an excellent example of addressing a "steel-man" argument, you give her far more credit than she deserves and bring up several excellent points about marginalisation in general. Thank you for this ❤️
I think heterophobia can be real. Like people who discredit people in the lgbt movement people solely because their straight or in a straight relationship (bi, ace, or pan)
At the same time “bi and pan”pretty much represents heterophobia. Because bisexual and pan people are half straight and half gay.
That would not be "heterophobia" though that would be panphobia, biphobia. aphobia or just overall homophobia.
@@Utah842 no they aren't
@@Utah842 that’s not what that is. Being a sexuality doesn’t represent anything bad or good. Your not half homophobic or heterophobia just because your a certain sexuality, like if your bi or pan if that’s what your saying. You shouldn’t associate those things based on sexuality. Ever.
These arguments are just "no u". You're gonna cringe over this video in at 3 am in 10 years smh
No u
@@1Hawkears1 n o u
@@vapecat2876 👁👄👁
What do you mean?
@@1Hawkears1 no, us
unpopular opinion:
no one cares if you’re lgbtq or not.
you’re a normal person like the rest of us
you aren’t special or different....
or a dragon
Faxxx
Holy shit somebody with a actual brain
Dare say that to twitter, and try survive
Cishet people will openly make fun of lgbtq+ but then you use the term "cishet" while talking to them and they'll be like "You call me cishet because what? Because I'm worse? You think I'm worse because I'm not a part of the lgbt?" Lmao
Your use of "Cishet people" at the start made it seem like you think every cishet person does that. Personally, I don't see it as disrespectful to say cishet. But if used in an aggressive way, it can be highly mistaken.
Yeah, once I saw a clip of some adult cartoon and The Boys™️ were complaining that cartoons don't make fun of queer people anymore and someone said straight in their comment and one of them was like "straight? That's how the brainless call us?" I can't with most straight guys 💀
@@dtown_demon man don't rope the rest of us in with them please
If you call people cishet, dont expect them to respect your pronouns, gender identity or other childish demands
@@PepsiMagt cishet isn’t a slur or a bad term. It’s a combination of “cisgender” and “heterosexual”. Seems like there’s some misunderstandings in your knowledge if you think using “cishet” is automatically bad. Likewise, if you consider pronouns and gender identity as “childish” then you probably don’t engage with many lgbtq+ people in good faith (funny, since you’re commenting a trans man’s video lol)
If you want to learn more about marginalized communities then there’s articles in the description of the video or you can look it up yourself on google. Wishing you the best of luck 👍
Hey guys I’m straight, but idk I’m known for being very good friends with people in the lgbt community but when I tell others I’m straight I get told to kill myself and some people hate me when I tell them I’m straight, but I’ve been nothing but kind to the lgbt community, some of my favorite people are part of the community.. and I feel very bad for being straight... is it wrong to be straight?
No, theres nothing wrong with being straight. People who hate straight people for no reason are the problem because it just makes their own community look bad.
No, theres nothing wrong with being straight. People who hate straight people for no reason are the problem because it just makes their own community look bad.
This was a good video, I learned a few things too! 👍😁✨ I'm in the umbrella and am still learning (I'm 43 so this isn't something I grew up knowing about) and watching your videos actually give me more perspective on how things are perceived in the community, thank you Ash!
Chris Moon
You’re on earth not an umbrella what are you on about? TRUP 2020
trup 2020.
fyi idk if this is a dog whistle or something but I’ve never seen somebody typo trump as trup so if this comes off as support just tell me and it’s trashbin for it
trup LOL
@@englisch9150 OMG LOL!!! Typo 😅🤣🤦♂️👍
dude this video is AMAZING. congratulation on talking so well about intersectionality and social inequalities as a whole, thats soooo rarely seen on youtube. love this so much!!!
i think something that people seem to miss is that saying "i hate straight people" is essentially just saying "i hate heteronormativity". Also- I adore that you state what you agree with her about and say that this is just a discussion, cause I see a lot of people state their differing opinions by just tearing other people apart, so props to you for being so good about this
Love this video! I really love the manner in which you went about it. One thing I was wondering about is the nature of the "i hate straight" jokes that you and Jessie were addressing...i think one of the challenges with topics like this is how echo chamber-y our perceptions of trends in society, not to mention all of the different subgroups we might belong to (like I'm a bi cis woman, with the friends i happen to have, plus the media i expose myself to so that's probably different than what you experience). When I've encountered the anti/fuck heteros sentiment within my community (again, perhaps this is super different than what you experience), it is super harmful to bi/pan people like myself, and it also made it really hard when i was still questioning. People around me routinely shamed bi women who were in relationships with men and anyone who chose to interact at all with straight people, and almost every conversation that they had with me while I was questioning was like "oh you might not be straight now? Good, all straight people suck" it really enforces the idea that you have to pick a side, and makes the uncertainty during questioning so so much harder to deal with. As someone who sometimes looks straight, dates straight dudes, or conforms to certain gender stereotypes (by choice), it can sometimes feel shitty to hear your friends making fun of (and not critiquing, and not in a light hearted way, like actually being mean) some mannerisms associated with straight women (like shaving body hair) that i choose to do, and then ending that with "yeah all straight people suck" From what you said in your video, it sounds like we're reacting to different things out there on the internet and in our personal lives, but i just wanted to add that perspective to the convo. Btw your make up is on point
yes, this is such a good point!!
I'm a Straight female and I didn't do misbehavior to the LGBTQ+ community the only thing I did to the community is support and encourage them, it damages me pretty badly to know people are mad at me for being straight.
?-Am I homophobic for being Straight? I apologize dearly..-?
(The following might not make sense but considering expernising new types of people, people tend to call me a homophobic for being straight, I know nobody asked but I can't help but share this.)
- I also do not tend to hurt any feelings or upset anybody by my comment.
We are all equal you can hate on straight people but don’t be surprised when someone starts to hate on lgbqt+. Just because you have a different sexuality does not mean your immune to criticism. Now let’s watch the war in the comments unfold into a full out war.
Yeah, sexuality doesn’t equate being superior in some way, and that goes for LGTBQ folks as well.
This was really insightful, thoughtful, and respectful, considering how heavy and personal these issues are.
You can’t be unkind to straight people because of their sexuality it’s the same as hating on gay people
How am I preaching for expressing my opinions if you can’t handle being stood up to I suggest you buy some common sense since you liked your own comment.
@Sofie the Randomness Master oh ok lol miss understanding
tell that to the toxic lgbt community.
@@idomakeup3258 I m really confused here.. Hows your statement is opinionated? Are you indirectly implying that its fine to treat straights like that?
I m confused. No one should hate anyone because of what or who they preference.
If simply saying that straight people shouldn't be hated jays is consider an opinion then my "opinion" *moral code*
Is the same. Simply put equilibrium isn't an opinion. Division is an opinion.
The word opinion is losing it's meaning these days.
@@idomakeup3258 preach is good 👍. They’re agreeing with you
THANK YOU. str8 ppl literally built the power structures that have oppressed us for YEARS. how could we not be angry??
But that’s like getting mad at white people for slavery. (And so much more) If you’re going to get mad at straights, at least get mad at the right ones…
you explain things so so well
Saying that you hate a certain group of people seems pretty toxic in general imo, I used to be in the "I hate men" "I hate straights" boat myself, but I kinda realised that it just further distanced me from them, and it didnt actually make me feel any better in the end. I get how saying those things makes it easier than explaining who it is you actually hate, but I honestly dont think its helping any of us
Cant speak for black people though, since I'm white
I was in a similar scenario, and I too stopped doing that. One of my long time friends thought I started disliking them because they were straight and it kind of woke me up. I let my LGBT bubble dictate how I see the average person, and realized that it's more important to know what normal people, and I mean very normal people, see vs what I see, and how they interpret it.
What I did was stop saying, even jokingly, things like "what's wrong with the straights", or "okay I'm heterophobic now" and would focus on specific things that cannot be pinned on straight people in particular. "I really dislike how heteronormative our society is.", or just talk about a specific problem that's being discussed like how straight pride is illogical and dumb, or pointing out various problematic things.
@@weissair1601
I think it's less of an attempt to tone police, and more trying to make us aware that our words/actions have an effect on others looking in, and we have the ability to affect how people see us.
I'm angry too, but I make it explicitly clear that I'm angry with the society that straight people inhabit, and not the straight people themselves.
This may seem obvious to us, but there are many out there who don't know that. Similarly, as this video touched on, how a lot of cis people think saying "trangendered" compared to "transgender" is basically the same, when it's really not.
We should be specific about what we're mad about, and be mindful about how we are perceived. I lost count of how many times I've had friends surprised that I was gay because I wasn't "like them"
@@weissair1601 no ones saying you're not allowed to be angry, but it's not really that healthy either
@Elio
That's the thing though, what we consider jokes is not always interpreted the same way by others outside of the group.
I personally don't see the unironic "HeTeRoPhObIa" crowd as always stupid, I think a lot of them are fed lies by bad people and simply don't know any LGBT people in real life (that they're aware of) so their perspective is limited.
I'm more conscious of this because I used to be a reactionary, and most of my views were informed by what people showed me online, which was never a charitable picture. I wasn't an anti-SJW because I knew progressives in real life who were silly, it's because I consumed countless hours of content showing uncharitable clips of people and the creators of the videos using those as proof that the group in question was ridiculous. Many people I knew when I was a reactionary often believed things about entire groups because one video showed a bunch of Tumblr/Twitter posts of LGBT people 99% of the time joking about the straights being crazy, but the videos never framed it as such. It was framed as evidence that actually the LGBT people are the bad ones, and that's how I've sadly met many other gay people who "don't want to be associated" with LGBT, it's because they were often fed very uncharitable views about the overall community.
This is why I prefer to be very specific while also vocal about societal issues, so I can make it that much harder to pin it on individuals/groups of people who otherwise aren't at fault.
I don’t have the words to express how much I appreciate you.
I absolutely love your earrings :)
You are super kind and well spoken! Thank you for making this video and putting all the sources down and participating in this discussion! I don't know her, and I share the same opinions as you, and I still learned from this video. Really well done!
Honestly this was so well put i kinda hope she sees this
I was uncomfortable with her video at the time but I didn't think hard enough to really pinpoint why I disagreed. So glad I saw this video.
In the last clip you showed the "your identity does not define your whole life" (24:35) really rubbed me the wrong way. Because it kinda does??? Who you are and who you are seen as affects your life experience in so many ways. It affects how people treat you, obviously. But I feel like it affects your personality, too, in a way I can't exactly describe. Like, the LGBTQ community became its own community for a reason. And once it became its own community it started to develop its own norms and culture that would be confusing to outsiders. The same can be said with other minority communities, such as women having to go out of their way to be safe and trying to pass that knowledge onto other women. I'm not sure if that's a good comparison. Certain groups have a different lifestyle that others wouldn't understand.
Also, as a (probably) cis woman, your comment on "cisgendered" didn't make sense to me until you said "transgendered." I understand stating transgender as a verb is incorrect, but didn't pick up on how using cis as a verb was incorrect until I could make that comparison. Thank you for clarifying that.
To add on about the identity thing, she shows this herself. If your sexuality label was just about who you're attracted to and holds no bearing on other aspects on your life then why does she feel more comfortable identifying as a 'queer bisexual' woman rather than just bisexual? Each label has different contexts and associations with it that affects what label an individual chooses to use.
when i first watched her video i put it on as something in the background and i wasnt really paying attention to what she was saying, i have changed and discovered a lot of things about myself since then, your video has really allowed me to think about what she said, so, thank you
also not related but i really like ur room and ur style and ahhh you seem like a cool person
THANK YOU, this is so important
I'm not sure if that makes sense. Racism, sexism, etc. can go all ways. You can be racist to white people, you can hate straight people, you can hate men, and people will think it's okay and try to play it off as if it's a joke. But that doesn't make sense, it's just a statement, no joke or joke connotation is in the sentence "I hate straight people." I really get pissed when people just think it's wrong to hate women, hate black people, and hate LGBTQIA+ (and of course it is wrong), but it's completely fine to hate men, hate white people, and hate straight people? Fighting hatred with hatred doesn't help anything, it just causes more hatred! I want an answer, people can openely be sexist to men and hate straight people and get praise? People just generalize so much it's insane. If I generalized all lesbian black women, i would be hated, yes? But if someone generalizes all straight white men, nobody cares. It goes both ways.
Agreed. You can’t fight against hatred and bitterness if your just gonna do the same exact thing. You can’t say “I hate straight people” or “I hate white people” and then try to hide by saying “oh no It means something else” or “well we are oppressed so it’s okay to do it back” or any of the examples you already said because It’s just throwing back those same homophobic/racist/sexist back at another group, and I’m sure they won’t appreciate it. How can you say those things yet not see the error of saying those things when you are literally against the type of stuff that you just said. The only difference is that it’s a different group of people from you. No seriously how do you say “I hate straight people” or anything else similar to the comment and not think that comment sounds bad?
Agreed. Hatred is like drinking a poison and expecting the other person to die. Who does it help? Who benefits from it? No one. Hate can't always be avoided--but if/when we can, we should.
ive been burned wayyyy too many times to trust self proclaimed allies by default
I love the moon chains through your ears did you make them or ... also are you wearing blush or are you just redder than normal cos it looks cute
I agree with all the points in this video ,i just thought you looked especially cute today xx :)
thank you !! yes I made the earrings out of a necklace that i deconstructed, and i was wearing blush :)
Loved the video, it was incredibly cathartic to hear someone actually say all this out loud :)