They shouldn't throw them to the curb either when they get old. They took care of YOUR ungrateful self when you couldn't wipe your own behind, and would probably help you now if you needed it. America is the only place that do not give a damn about their elders! They stick their parents in a nursing home AND are the first ones to try to get a law suit for abusing them. The least their kids can do if they are unable to care for their parents is to at least hire a home health care worker to come to their house and care for them....
I worked in an old folks home for 5 years. I have seen it many times where the kids never come to visit them. Or they seldomly do and then when the do come by its for like half an hour...maybe
Think about the hypocrisy of parents who call childfree people 'selfish' when most of them had kids for their own selfish reasons (to have someone to take care of them).
Exactly. I think every reason to have a child is selfish. Think about it. I'm 41 BW, no kids and damn near daily I see or hear something that makes me say, "Omg I'm so glad I don't have kids!" My closest friend has 3 & hates being a mom, doesn't enjoy her kids & now will soon be a single mother with 3 kids & even though her raggedy husband has lived in the home this whole time she still has already felt like a single parent for the last 5 years. Now she is resenting her family because her husband gets to go off and live his "best" life while she's soon to be stuck in their family home with just her and the kids. Now that the marriage is coming to an end it's making her even more resentful & has changed her completely. None of that is worth it just to possibly have a caretaker later in life. That logic sounds insane to me. Getting my hysterectomy was one of the best things I've done I my life 💃🏿
I've been telling myself that since I was 15, and I dated a girl for 6 years mutually deciding not to have children. Then I dated another girl for 13 years, and we mutually agreed not to have kids as well. Now I'm 36, been single for 2 years, no kids, and ... I think I'm okay, but I do wonder if this isn't something I'll regret when I'm older. I don't know. Lol. Tim's points are basically how I viewed the whole thing, but I don't know. BTW, both those girls went and got themselves knocked up within 1 year of us breaking up. They seem happy about it, but they've aged rapidly! Lol. The girls, not the kids.
@@FluffyBunny9002 I believe some childfree groups would give you great insights on your thoughts/questions. Definitely check out r/childfree if you haven't. Better to regret not having kids than to regret having them.
I'm male, 51, never married and child free. Seems to be going pretty well so far. If I'm alone when I'm old I'll be an expert at it and adapt accordingly.
It’s selfish to me to expect your children to take care of you. I’m taking care of my mom at 34 after she got sick and it’s rough but I’m here. I’m also working everyday for my son not to have to worry about me as I get older. I think it’s phenomenal that people KNOW they don’t want kids and don’t selfishly bring them here to this crazy ass world.
China is currently going through a senior pandemic. Too many grown children are faced with the task of taking care of their family and their parents. Thats alot for people
A child is not a retirement investment/future caregiver. Most people who have kids think this way, and call us selfish. Its mind boggling. You chose to bring kids into this unjust world, they didn't ask to be here. Children are not meant to be your personal slaves.
It horrifies me as a mom that people actually do this. Maybe it’s extreme, but it feels evil to me to bring a life into the world just to force them to be your slave. So awful
Someone at a class reunion told me it was a shame I would never know the joys she had raising children. I told her I was glad she had those joys, then added what a shame it was she didn't get to travel and jump out of airplanes and go white water rafting, etc. I'll never have their experiences AND they'll never have mine. Personal choices.
To the people who chose not to have children I respect that and agree that they aren't your care givers in old age . I have 2 sister-in-laws , both have traveled all over the world and did white water rafting , skiing, and did all of that before and after having 2 children , they took their kids with them and showed them the world and the joy of all kinds of sports Kids are only a burden if you make them a burden
@@debbiebalnaves4842good for your in-laws. You know they aren’t the majority right? For many, it’s either one or the other. The choice, as they say, is yours 👉
I love that you mentioned the fear based logic surrounding having kids. It's also a pretty selfish reason to have them, just so they'll take care of you
45 black woman childfree by choice. I’m also a hospital social worker. Not only is having kids to have someone to take care of you selfish you are spot on as far as there are no guarantees. I see people with several children with no one willing to step up to take care of them. Sometimes only one child will and that child is full of resentment . In some instances people have outlived their kids. In other instances I see single people no kids that have neighbors, friends, and church member etc that crowd the room so much I can’t get into the room. They are there to make sure their friend is well taken care of. One time an elder ladies power of attorney hounded me so much about a patients care I wanted to lose her number. But she was a strong advocate and wanted to make sure the patient was well taken care of. Sometimes our families are not biological but people we have chosen. I think people forget that having children is always a choice. But thinking that anything is guaranteed is one of the biggest mistakes people make. We all will die alone. But in context it’s not really that big of a deal.
What % would you say have kids? And why do you think people keep saying that we should have kids so they can take care of us, if it’s not the vast majority?
@@Angaloth19 I don’t have a percentage. But on your second question I think most people that don’t work in medical settings or say for instance nursing homes etc don’t ever get to see the elder care or end of life perspective outside of their own personal experiences or what they surmise will happen when that time comes. I’ve been present during thousands of elder care and end of life discussions to see a plethora of circumstances. Some good and some bad or not ideal. I can tell you family or not doesn’t always impact the outcome.
Coming from a 25 year old man that grew up in a abusive and neglectful family, I am terrified of being stuck in another family like that, so I am happily single
i value my freedom, i just dont want to take care of nobody. i had a traumatic childhood. i want my adult life to be all about me, sorry not sorry. i do like children but i like my freedom and sleep more.
YES! I want my house clean and quiet. And I want all of my time to myself! I already work full time as most of us do. I want to spend the rest of that time living *my* life.
As someone who was a caregiver for a sick elderly parent, caregiving is not something I would wish on my worse enemy, it was incredibly difficult on many levels (thus no one should be demanding people take care of their parents)
@@bobbulgi880- neither, I'm saying that I would not wish caregiving for your sick elderly parent on my worst enemy (in response to Tim saying people asking him about who would take care of him when he's older)
@@The_Professor26 - I'm saying that I would not wish caregiving for your sick elderly parent on my worst enemy (in response to Tim saying people asking him about who would take care of him when he's older)
Isn't it amazing that you, a childfree guy, actually presented a better reason for having kids than those parents who ask that question? Great lesson right there. Totally agree.
You are not alone. I spent an insane amount of money on ivf and lost all embryos. I was devastated and heartbroken 💔 at the time but I’ve moved on and made peace with the situation
Why would anyone assume that your children would automatically take care of you? Once they're adults, they are struggling to live their own lives. If you have children, it's even harder.
As an almost mom, thank you. I’m very glad you didn’t cave to pressure and did the right thing for you. Kids are not a retirement plan, an ESA, therapist, a “mini me,” or anything else like that. They’re people, human beings, and most people who have them don’t really understand that at all. You have more responsibility and self awareness than the majority of parents I know.
My kids won't be 'taking care of me when I'm older'. My kids owe me NOTHING, I owe them EVERYTHING. My existence to them is to guide them to success safely.
I loved being a dad and taking care of my family, then one by one all of them were struck down with mental illness, that changed everything. I never thought that would ever happen! Now I am alone!
I have 3 and although I love my children to pieces it requires your all your everything. Your life would be put on hold to parent as best as you can. You may lose yourself like your self love,your dreams will be slowed down or put on hold completely. If you love yourself and the 1 life God gave you. Hold off or just flat out dont have any. Its not for everyone. Tim I 100% support you.
Growing up my father always treated me like a pest and would even tell me he wished that I was dead ever since I can remember. When I was a teenager I pointed out how disgusting he was to me and he told me it didn't matter how he treated me because he knew my oldest younger brother would take care of him when he gets old. That was when I realized that I had never truly understood the meaning of the word selfish
Wow I was kinda feeling like a loser for not having kids. I'm 44 and ppl are always shocked when I tell them I don't have kids. Everyone I worked with had kids or was pregnant. I also have never been married.
@@apple-qf6sq You're not a loser for not doing what everyone else does. Lots of people are like us and simply don't want kids. Remind yourself that your value and worth don't rely on having kids to take care of
@apple-qf6sq I work for a company with just under 1000 employees. I am the ONLY childfree person. I love it bring the glitch in the Matrix. Being like everyone else has never appealed to me.
"When" you become an old person. Erhm... That's a strong assumption right there. We aren't guaranteed tomorrow. The notion that we will all "grow old" is statistically very incorrect.
All can say Tim is... keep being you no matter what others say! In my opinion people have kids for the wrong reasons and then there are others who have kids by accident.
lmao u cant stop people from doing stupid stuff but u can say we will see how that works out and kick back and grab your popcorn and laugh at these fools man
63 and CFBC: that's Child Free By Choice. I made that conscious decision at age 15. Not only do I not have regrets, with each passing decade, I'm thrilled that I didn't allow societal, patriarchal ideas of "you're not a woman unless you are a mother" to bully me into having children I didn't want. I'm having a ball.
Exactly. Do things not out of fear, but out of excitement, love, etc. My issue for most my life is I did things out of fear, not because I really wanted to do it, and at 37 years old it didn't do me much favors
Totally agree with you. My two kids are my world but I have no expectation that they will look after me in my twilight years. They may well want to travel or settle down abroad. The odd phone call will be lovely but those tight bonds or proximity isn't guaranteed.. That aside I think many of us modern parents won't bat a no eyelid when someone says they have no kids and don't want them They are expensive, exhausting and hard work.
My only child has always told me she doesn’t want children. I truly get it! Live your life to the fullest. Many times you don’t with children. Not to the fullest. It’s true.
This made me laugh! I get this question a lot too. So many people out there making major life decisions based on fear or societal expectations when there are no guarantees. Meanwhile some of us are just forging ahead on our own exciting, convoluted, unconventional paths looking like total weirdos to the rest of society. 😂
Love this! Living your life the way YOU want to live it. Not everyone is meant to be a parent. I was a teacher once (heard horrible stories about kids), now I’m a social worker (now I SEE the horrible abuse from parents up close). I am so glad you have chosen the path for you, and I hope more people (women especially) realize that we are free to live life how we choose, not how society wants. Who’s gonna take care of you when you’re older?- Money. Money is going to take care of you when you’re older.
Finally someone speaking my language!! I’m female, and by choice, have not had kids, never wanted to. I’d say it’s the single best decision, next to not getting married , I’ve ever made. As I’ve always felt bringing a child into this cruel world, to suffer as I have, would be the cruelest thing I could do. And I see this affirmed everyday by bad patents, and or bad kids. Interesting that at age 16 I went to my doctor and asked for a hysterectomy, knowing then I would never want kids… He refused to allow it, stating “one day you will change your mind..” I resented that for my entire life, and to all the many others that said something similar, as if THEIR opinions were more valid that mine. So yeah, “when you know, you know” Peace.
100% agree. I've always felt the same way. There's also the similar phenomena of people saying, "ArEnT yOu AfRaiD oF dYiNg ALoNe?!".....dude. You could be married with 15 kids....and be out gardening and suddenly have a heart attack. It doesn't quite kill you right away. You lay there in the dirt of your garden in agonizing pain...slowly dying. Your family can't hear you. You are alone. It starts raining. Bugs are crawling on you. You still aren't quite dead yet. Your massive family amounted to nothing. You still died alone.
as a 39 year old woman, i can say without a doubt, deciding to not have children continues to be the best decision ive ever made. when people ask me who will take care of me, i answer "nurses, duh"
Not to mention: Basically ALL people that pull the "who is gonna take care of you?" card, you can ask "Aren't your parents close to retirement? - Yes? - When are YOU gonna take care of them? - What? NO! I have my OWN family to take care of!".
I used to think I will be having children when I was in young age. When I took care of one of my wife's young nephew for a month. Damn that is where I realized you have to surrender your freedom raising a child. You will always take care of it and you will surrender your youth for it. I know it will not be worth to surrender your prime years just to make your child take care of you when older uncertainly.
I’m 26 and I’m never having kids knew that since I was young until now never ever am I having kids regardless of anyone’s thoughts your doing great man
I have 2 daughters with kids and one who had her tubes tied at 28,that's her choice and I respect it,she's being responsible,unlike hundreds of thousands who never get married,don't know who the father is,it's horrible for the kids
@@rocio292 not true pets cost money when you have to take to vet. Also I want to do seasonal jobs, but can't right now. I would have to get a rv in order to do it with my pet cat. I have no one who will keep him for me. My family thinks my life is for their convenience. I raised all my siblings kids. Sister and her daughter have 3 yr olds so they think I should move in with one of them and take care of their children again for free.
Childfree bachelor, 42. When I was a teenager, I volunteered at an elderly care facility. I can't tell you how many of those old residents complained that their children never came to visit them. Having children simply on the expectation that they'll provide free geriatric care in your later years is an awfully selfish reason to have them. In fact, there are no unselfish reasons to have children.
They ask me the same question! Also a few people (both of Chinese decent) just stopped talking to me when they found out I didn't have kids! They were very friendly up until the point they found out I didn't have kids. Can you believe that?
Facts!!! Not to sound morbid, but it’s also not a guarantee that we’ll grow old either.💯 Just subscribed to your channel! It’s good to finally see a childfree male on here!
There is a extra layer when you are a women and say you don't want kids. As a woman you are expected to have a maternal instinct. Great to hear a man also say they don't want children
Even then its still selfish. Why should someone else be drug out of non existance where they could feel zero pain and had no problems to be dragged here for u to “love and cherish” whatever the hell that is u can get a pet and do the same. U are forcing a death sentence on someone for your own selfish wants.
This is true! My mom had 4, and my husband, my son, and I are the only ones caring for my mom. I wanted my son to live his life before any huge responsibilities. He moved out to live his life as he should and deserves. He still tells me to this day that he will buy a house big enough for me and his dad to live with him when we have to. Thank you, son! We will live in God's decision for us. But none of my siblings are helping with you know what, it doesn't matter. Mom would never leave her children's side, and as her oldest daughter, I would never leave hers. So you are right, there are no guarantees in life, and your children are not your retirement plan. Be blessed, everyone! ❤
My wife and I have children. One of the best decisions ever. Nothing like when they were younger and I'd come home and they'd all run to the door screaming "Daddy"!!!! Or now that they're older, when THEY come in, my daughters will walk over and give me a hug and begin to tell me about their day, my son will just come check on me "what are you doing"? And hang out for a bit. Love it. In addition to being very loving and considerate, they are also high achievers. My wife and I are VERY fortunate. I couldn't picture life without them.
Cool! The choice is yours. And I'll never question you about choosing to have kids. Maybe we can treat people who don't want kids with the same respect. I wouldn't tell you that you'll change your mind 😂 but I get told that often.
@@alphamail8974 I can understand. I have an older guy friend. Never married, no kids even though he mentioned once he always wanted a son. However he said he did not want to give a woman "power over him" that he felt such a thing would entail. Sadly because he never married or had kids, he is viewed as "suspect" by some women. And guys for that matter also.
👏👏👏 My male friend wants to have more kids to have someone take care of him when he’s older because he doesn’t have a good relationship with his grown daughter. He doesn’t realize that just because he chose to take of his mom while she’s sick doesn’t mean that his kids would chose that. His sister wanted to put his mom in a nursing home. Nursing homes and assisted living homes exist for a reason!
I'm 46 and have 6 kids age 7-29. When I'm old or sick I told my kids to put me in a home so I can finally get away from their asses. I can't wait for peace
Where, in these modern times, does an adult child, has the time or the training, to care for elderly parents 24/7? Especially if they have their own children. Think 🤔 people! Think 🤔! Life is not a TV show or a movie 🎬. 😶
I’m 65, no kids, no family. Not going to live in fear. When the inevitible happens it happens. The way I choose to look at it is I won’t have to worry about anyone missing me or leaving any broken hearts behind. I was a personal caregiver during my lifetime and ppl would be surprised how many times I saw children do their parents dirty, usually because of money.
I agree. I was shocked when I heard that question cos it never crossed my mind. Even senior citizens who have adult kids they are in contact with still go to nursing homes.
When people would ask me this question my answer was: "The same people who take care of all the rest of the old people--the waitresses at Denny's." Having worked as a waitress at diners, I can attest that I was feeding a LOT of old people. We'd see the same folks every day for breakfast, lunch and dinner. If someone didn't make it for a couple of days, an employee would pay them a visit to make sure they were ok. Old people are pretty self sufficient these days. So long as they have their wits about them, they can do most daily things via internet or phone calls. Yes, my 94 year old father-in-law orders his groceries online for delivery. He also uses his smartphone to get an Uber if he's not feeling up for driving. Don't have kids because you need support in old age. The kids may have other ideas.
The people asking who will care for you when you reach a certain age should be investigated by CPS. Having children because you want someone to care for you when you get old is not a good reason to have children.
Oh my days - this comment just gets me every single time 😂😂 So people with children realize how selfish THEY sound when they have their own kids as a safety net to “look after them” when they’re older?! Plus - there’s ZERO guarantee your kid will even grow up to like you let alone look after you lol
A 80 you can still take care of yourself for the most part. If you don’t smoke or drink heavy and don’t have any serious illnesses you can care for yourself all the way up to mid 90s.
I'm 42 with no kids. I once wanted a family, but it wasn't the hand I was dealt, and I am okay with that. I have close people in my life who I have enjoyed having in my life. Now I realize that giving to those people brings me plenty of joy in life. I also realize the ultimate freedom I have with that lifestyle. It'd be nice to meet a woman to call my life partner, but my pursuit in life isn't focused on that. At 42 I usually only date women with the same freedoms rather with older kids of her own, or no desire to have kids. If I met a younger woman who wants kids, that's cool too. To me life's all about surrounding yourself with quality people, and if you have the opportunity to install values into younger people, well that's just a bonus in life, and not a necessity. I don't plan it, but if I become a dad late in life, well so be it. That's good in it's own unique way. The fruits that you yield in life is meant to be shared with others, kids or not. If you're lucky, others may share with you their fruits. After all, why else should you be alive? ✌️
Exactly! I get the same responses. Never had kids. Later found out I wouldn't have been able to because of a health condition. I've had step kids and they don't even talk to their father because he wouldn't support them after becoming adults because he told them if they can afford to party, they can afford food. I took care of my mother, who didn't raise me. I also took care of my grandmother. But other siblings didn't. There is no guarantee
Kids aren’t a retirement plan
lol yes they are
They shouldn't throw them to the curb either when they get old. They took care of YOUR ungrateful self when you couldn't wipe your own behind, and would probably help you now if you needed it. America is the only place that do not give a damn about their elders! They stick their parents in a nursing home AND are the first ones to try to get a law suit for abusing them. The least their kids can do if they are unable to care for their parents is to at least hire a home health care worker to come to their house and care for them....
My Mom said the opposite to me when I was a kid
Exactly!
@@acrxsls1766 lol focus on your bag instead of your sac 😂
Count how many people are in nursing homes that have kids and there is your answer.
Who is paying the nursing home fees?
@@Zigzagzodak SSI, pensions, 401k, other savings
I worked in an old folks home for 5 years. I have seen it many times where the kids never come to visit them. Or they seldomly do and then when the do come by its for like half an hour...maybe
Exactly not all parents were good ppl
@@Zigzagzodakour tax dollars
Think about the hypocrisy of parents who call childfree people 'selfish' when most of them had kids for their own selfish reasons (to have someone to take care of them).
my friend regrets having her child...she was pressured and her entire demeanor has changed
Exactly. I think every reason to have a child is selfish. Think about it. I'm 41 BW, no kids and damn near daily I see or hear something that makes me say, "Omg I'm so glad I don't have kids!" My closest friend has 3 & hates being a mom, doesn't enjoy her kids & now will soon be a single mother with 3 kids & even though her raggedy husband has lived in the home this whole time she still has already felt like a single parent for the last 5 years. Now she is resenting her family because her husband gets to go off and live his "best" life while she's soon to be stuck in their family home with just her and the kids. Now that the marriage is coming to an end it's making her even more resentful & has changed her completely. None of that is worth it just to possibly have a caretaker later in life. That logic sounds insane to me. Getting my hysterectomy was one of the best things I've done I my life 💃🏿
"I want my life to have meaning" is another favorite of mine. Way to use an innocent child as a meat shield against your existential dread.
@@michaelkrull3331well said! I'm stealing this 😂
Yes.
When I hit 30 ... I told myself this is not a world I want to bring a kid into... 10 years later ... still single and loving it !
I've been telling myself that since I was 15, and I dated a girl for 6 years mutually deciding not to have children. Then I dated another girl for 13 years, and we mutually agreed not to have kids as well. Now I'm 36, been single for 2 years, no kids, and ... I think I'm okay, but I do wonder if this isn't something I'll regret when I'm older. I don't know. Lol. Tim's points are basically how I viewed the whole thing, but I don't know. BTW, both those girls went and got themselves knocked up within 1 year of us breaking up. They seem happy about it, but they've aged rapidly! Lol. The girls, not the kids.
@@FluffyBunny9002 I believe some childfree groups would give you great insights on your thoughts/questions. Definitely check out r/childfree if you haven't. Better to regret not having kids than to regret having them.
@@deeksha9950 Stop Having Kids is also an excellent resource. They have a YT page.
@@deeksha9950 farmers have kids so that they can use them as a cheap labor source
True, I’ve tried to make peace with my miscarriage too and in that I realize this is an extremely difficult and selfish world to bring kids into.
I'm male, 51, never married and child free. Seems to be going pretty well so far. If I'm alone when I'm old I'll be an expert at it and adapt accordingly.
Facts!👏🏼
It’s selfish to me to expect your children to take care of you. I’m taking care of my mom at 34 after she got sick and it’s rough but I’m here. I’m also working everyday for my son not to have to worry about me as I get older. I think it’s phenomenal that people KNOW they don’t want kids and don’t selfishly bring them here to this crazy ass world.
Spot on!
@@rocio292 thank you!
Yuppers
Yup! I said almost the same thing.
China is currently going through a senior pandemic. Too many grown children are faced with the task of taking care of their family and their parents. Thats alot for people
A child is not a retirement investment/future caregiver. Most people who have kids think this way, and call us selfish. Its mind boggling. You chose to bring kids into this unjust world, they didn't ask to be here. Children are not meant to be your personal slaves.
Worse of all they will blame you for career failure or choosing a path that makes you happy because they are depending on you to care for them.
@@MaryJosephrobithose are the people who in ancient japan, would be marched off into the woods, never to be seen again…
It horrifies me as a mom that people actually do this. Maybe it’s extreme, but it feels evil to me to bring a life into the world just to force them to be your slave. So awful
Someone at a class reunion told me it was a shame I would never know the joys she had raising children. I told her I was glad she had those joys, then added what a shame it was she didn't get to travel and jump out of airplanes and go white water rafting, etc. I'll never have their experiences AND they'll never have mine. Personal choices.
To the people who chose not to have children I respect that and agree that they aren't your care givers in old age .
I have 2 sister-in-laws , both have traveled all over the world and did white water rafting , skiing, and did all of that before and after having 2 children , they took their kids with them and showed them the world and the joy of all kinds of sports
Kids are only a burden if you make them a burden
@@debbiebalnaves4842good for your in-laws. You know they aren’t the majority right? For many, it’s either one or the other. The choice, as they say, is yours 👉
@@debbiebalnaves4842😂
@@debbiebalnaves4842Who said kids were a burden? They are expensive, though 😊
So she literally shamed you for not reproducing. Sounds like she may have her own secret regrets about her kids.
47 and child free. No regrets🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾
I love that you mentioned the fear based logic surrounding having kids. It's also a pretty selfish reason to have them, just so they'll take care of you
My thoughts as well! I have kids and hope they never feel like they’re obligated to take care of me.
@@Imurpant0mime you sound like you have a good head on your shoulders! I wish more parents felt this way
45 black woman childfree by choice. I’m also a hospital social worker. Not only is having kids to have someone to take care of you selfish you are spot on as far as there are no guarantees. I see people with several children with no one willing to step up to take care of them. Sometimes only one child will and that child is full of resentment . In some instances people have outlived their kids. In other instances I see single people no kids that have neighbors, friends, and church member etc that crowd the room so much I can’t get into the room. They are there to make sure their friend is well taken care of. One time an elder ladies power of attorney hounded me so much about a patients care I wanted to lose her number. But she was a strong advocate and wanted to make sure the patient was well taken care of. Sometimes our families are not biological but people we have chosen. I think people forget that having children is always a choice. But thinking that anything is guaranteed is one of the biggest mistakes people make. We all will die alone. But in context it’s not really that big of a deal.
@ mickey M 🎯🎯🎯🎯
What % would you say have kids? And why do you think people keep saying that we should have kids so they can take care of us, if it’s not the vast majority?
@@Angaloth19 I don’t have a percentage. But on your second question I think most people that don’t work in medical settings or say for instance nursing homes etc don’t ever get to see the elder care or end of life perspective outside of their own personal experiences or what they surmise will happen when that time comes. I’ve been present during thousands of elder care and end of life discussions to see a plethora of circumstances. Some good and some bad or not ideal. I can tell you family or not doesn’t always impact the outcome.
Thank you for this
Well said! 💯
Coming from a 25 year old man that grew up in a abusive and neglectful family, I am terrified of being stuck in another family like that, so I am happily single
I’m 59 with no kids ! And not worry about who will take care of me! I’m just living my life like it’s golden ! Happy as can be!!
I’m 37 with no children. Thank you for sharing this.
i value my freedom, i just dont want to take care of nobody. i had a traumatic childhood. i want my adult life to be all about me, sorry not sorry. i do like children but i like my freedom and sleep more.
Same here.
YES! I want my house clean and quiet. And I want all of my time to myself!
I already work full time as most of us do. I want to spend the rest of that time living *my* life.
I have my own traumatized experience. As a person who experiences insomnia...I don't want to hear a crying baby or snoring adult.
PREACH!
As someone who was a caregiver for a sick elderly parent, caregiving is not something I would wish on my worse enemy, it was incredibly difficult on many levels (thus no one should be demanding people take care of their parents)
Not having kids or having them
@@bobbulgi880that's what I'm wondering!
@@bobbulgi880- neither, I'm saying that I would not wish caregiving for your sick elderly parent on my worst enemy (in response to Tim saying people asking him about who would take care of him when he's older)
@@The_Professor26 - I'm saying that I would not wish caregiving for your sick elderly parent on my worst enemy (in response to Tim saying people asking him about who would take care of him when he's older)
@@Wilma.Flintstone So what should your sick elderly parents do if not rely on their adult children for care?
Isn't it amazing that you, a childfree guy, actually presented a better reason for having kids than those parents who ask that question? Great lesson right there. Totally agree.
43 single and child-free too!
Yess to single and having no kids 😊
Happy too😊
I raised my siblings four kids. So I was tired after dealing with them.
@@apple-qf6sq yes, this experience has traumatized me as well
I’m 37 and childfree. I had a miscarriage and then never got pregnant again. I’m glad I’m not alone.
You are not alone, thank you for sharing. I was pregnant when I was 22 with my ex and miscarried twice. 34 years old today and thankful
You are not alone. I spent an insane amount of money on ivf and lost all embryos. I was devastated and heartbroken 💔 at the time but I’ve moved on and made peace with the situation
Same with us
Stay young and fit Maam...good for you.
I could write a book! Stay free! Best decision I ever made for my life, despite the peer and family pressure for years.
could not agree more. so glad i never listened to any of the judgment and noise of naysayers either! now middle aged, life is and has been good!
35 and proudly childfree by choice! Best decision EVER!🙌🏾
Why would anyone assume that your children would automatically take care of you?
Once they're adults, they are struggling to live their own lives.
If you have children, it's even harder.
Agreed.
It's presumptuous to think your children will sacrifice the very little free time they will probably have to visit you
Yess to having no kids. It’s wonderful 😊
Preach! None of my 5 kids give me the time of day. It was a great adventure raising them and now they're living their own lives and that's ok.
but thanks to you they will die one day, it is so cruel to bring them into the world
@@beaulieuc8910omg the world isnt that bad. Relax.
As an almost mom, thank you. I’m very glad you didn’t cave to pressure and did the right thing for you. Kids are not a retirement plan, an ESA, therapist, a “mini me,” or anything else like that. They’re people, human beings, and most people who have them don’t really understand that at all. You have more responsibility and self awareness than the majority of parents I know.
My kids won't be 'taking care of me when I'm older'. My kids owe me NOTHING, I owe them EVERYTHING. My existence to them is to guide them to success safely.
I loved being a dad and taking care of my family, then one by one all of them were struck down with mental illness, that changed everything. I never thought that would ever happen! Now I am alone!
I'm so sorry Sir! 💝🙏🏾
Hopefully it gets better hope you have someone to talk to
I have 3 and although I love my children to pieces it requires your all your everything. Your life would be put on hold to parent as best as you can. You may lose yourself like your self love,your dreams will be slowed down or put on hold completely. If you love yourself and the 1 life God gave you. Hold off or just flat out dont have any. Its not for everyone. Tim I 100% support you.
Well said !
Growing up my father always treated me like a pest and would even tell me he wished that I was dead ever since I can remember. When I was a teenager I pointed out how disgusting he was to me and he told me it didn't matter how he treated me because he knew my oldest younger brother would take care of him when he gets old. That was when I realized that I had never truly understood the meaning of the word selfish
It’s nice hearing my perspective from a male perspective. I’ve had the exact same thoughts.
45 and no kids. ✌🏻💕
Wow I was kinda feeling like a loser for not having kids. I'm 44 and ppl are always shocked when I tell them I don't have kids. Everyone I worked with had kids or was pregnant. I also have never been married.
@@apple-qf6sq I haven't been married either. Don't let other people pressure you about how you live your life. It's yours to live, not theirs! 😊
Me too, Angela!
@@apple-qf6sq You're not a loser for not doing what everyone else does. Lots of people are like us and simply don't want kids.
Remind yourself that your value and worth don't rely on having kids to take care of
@apple-qf6sq I work for a company with just under 1000 employees. I am the ONLY childfree person. I love it bring the glitch in the Matrix. Being like everyone else has never appealed to me.
"When" you become an old person. Erhm... That's a strong assumption right there. We aren't guaranteed tomorrow. The notion that we will all "grow old" is statistically very incorrect.
I read somewhere very few people live beyond the age 65 hence why the age for Medicare is 65.
Exactly! People look at me like I’m crazy when I say this same thing, but it’s so true.
Strangepete Excellent point. Thanks for the perspective. 👋🏾
My kidneys will be failing soon and will refuse dialysis. I consider it a blessing since I never wanted to live to be old.
Oh and I used to work in a senior high rise building. Those kids don’t even visit their elderly parents, let alone take care of them.
I'm just back from Martinique. A solo traveller. No kids.
All can say Tim is... keep being you no matter what others say!
In my opinion people have kids for the wrong reasons and then there are others who have kids by accident.
I know people in their 60’s who are still taking care of their kids in their 40’s.
lmao u cant stop people from doing stupid stuff but u can say we will see how that works out and kick back and grab your popcorn and laugh at these fools man
😢
That part
If I had a child I wud love them enough to never want to burden them w caring for an elderly parent when they have their own lives to live.
63 and CFBC: that's Child Free By Choice. I made that conscious decision at age 15. Not only do I not have regrets, with each passing decade, I'm thrilled that I didn't allow societal, patriarchal ideas of "you're not a woman unless you are a mother" to bully me into having children I didn't want. I'm having a ball.
People with kids are finding out just why we should not have. Timothy keep living your truth! ❤
Exactly. Do things not out of fear, but out of excitement, love, etc. My issue for most my life is I did things out of fear, not because I really wanted to do it, and at 37 years old it didn't do me much favors
Totally agree with you. My two kids are my world but I have no expectation that they will look after me in my twilight years. They may well want to travel or settle down abroad. The odd phone call will be lovely but those tight bonds or proximity isn't guaranteed.. That aside I think many of us modern parents won't bat a no eyelid when someone says they have no kids and don't want them They are expensive, exhausting and hard work.
My only child has always told me she doesn’t want children. I truly get it! Live your life to the fullest. Many times you don’t with children. Not to the fullest. It’s true.
I’m I’m with you Tim. I never wanted kids, it just wasn’t for me!! I ignore stupid questions people ask. Kids aren’t for everyone!!! 😊
This made me laugh! I get this question a lot too. So many people out there making major life decisions based on fear or societal expectations when there are no guarantees. Meanwhile some of us are just forging ahead on our own exciting, convoluted, unconventional paths looking like total weirdos to the rest of society. 😂
I love how you said you don’t make decisions based out of fear… and if you decided to have kids it would be based out of love.
Though I have children, I agree 100%. Unfortunately, it's not even guaranteed that children will out live their parents.
Love this! Living your life the way YOU want to live it.
Not everyone is meant to be a parent. I was a teacher once (heard horrible stories about kids), now I’m a social worker (now I SEE the horrible abuse from parents up close).
I am so glad you have chosen the path for you, and I hope more people (women especially) realize that we are free to live life how we choose, not how society wants.
Who’s gonna take care of you when you’re older?- Money. Money is going to take care of you when you’re older.
I don't want to have kids either 🤷♀️it to much of a hassle 😀
Finally someone speaking my language!!
I’m female, and by choice, have not had kids, never wanted to. I’d say it’s the single best decision, next to not getting married , I’ve ever made.
As I’ve always felt bringing a child into this cruel world, to suffer as I have, would be the cruelest thing I could do.
And I see this affirmed everyday by bad patents, and or bad kids.
Interesting that at age 16 I went to my doctor and asked for a hysterectomy, knowing then I would never want kids… He refused to allow it, stating “one day you will change your mind..”
I resented that for my entire life, and to all the many others that said something similar, as if THEIR opinions were more valid that mine.
So yeah, “when you know, you know”
Peace.
love based decisions, love that
Tim…. the insightful people are completely falling in love with you speaking to souls 😂😂😁❣️😮💨
100% agree. I've always felt the same way. There's also the similar phenomena of people saying, "ArEnT yOu AfRaiD oF dYiNg ALoNe?!".....dude. You could be married with 15 kids....and be out gardening and suddenly have a heart attack. It doesn't quite kill you right away. You lay there in the dirt of your garden in agonizing pain...slowly dying. Your family can't hear you. You are alone. It starts raining. Bugs are crawling on you. You still aren't quite dead yet. Your massive family amounted to nothing. You still died alone.
as a 39 year old woman, i can say without a doubt, deciding to not have children continues to be the best decision ive ever made. when people ask me who will take care of me, i answer "nurses, duh"
😂😂
Not to mention: Basically ALL people that pull the "who is gonna take care of you?" card, you can ask "Aren't your parents close to retirement? - Yes? - When are YOU gonna take care of them? - What? NO! I have my OWN family to take care of!".
😂😂
Female....59 years old....no kids. Stayed single....do you know how many people would give anything to be like me?
Oh...did I mention I'm an RN as well?😉
I used to think I will be having children when I was in young age. When I took care of one of my wife's young nephew for a month. Damn that is where I realized you have to surrender your freedom raising a child. You will always take care of it and you will surrender your youth for it. I know it will not be worth to surrender your prime years just to make your child take care of you when older uncertainly.
I'm 44 years old, child free by choice. There's no way I'm bringing them into this crazy world only to suffer, become a debt slave.
I’m 26 and I’m never having kids knew that since I was young until now never ever am I having kids regardless of anyone’s thoughts your doing great man
44 no kids, but I raised my siblings four kids. He is so right I was the child that took care of my parents siblings just spent their money.
If you take care of you, you won’t necessarily need anyone else to. Lots of older ppl that live full lives because they take care of their selves.
💯💯💯💯
I take care of myself NOW by eating healthy and working out regularly so I can still be kicking it at 80 🎉
39, no kids. It's becoming incredibly difficult to raise kids those days, assuming there is nothing wrong with the kid in the first place.
Amen to this!! 39, solo, no kids.
I have 2 daughters with kids and one who had her tubes tied at 28,that's her choice and I respect it,she's being responsible,unlike hundreds of thousands who never get married,don't know who the father is,it's horrible for the kids
Wholeheartedly agree! it's all about THEIR fear and projection! SO refreshing to hear this coming from a man too.
subscribed!
Having kids so they'll take care of you is an INSANE reason to want children.
no kids for me either, i have nature, pets, wild birds, fish and that is enough!!!!!mmm:)
And they are FREE in every sense of the word 🤗🦁🐍🐛🕷🌻🌱🌳
@@rocio292 not true pets cost money when you have to take to vet. Also I want to do seasonal jobs, but can't right now. I would have to get a rv in order to do it with my pet cat. I have no one who will keep him for me. My family thinks my life is for their convenience. I raised all my siblings kids. Sister and her daughter have 3 yr olds so they think I should move in with one of them and take care of their children again for free.
Childfree bachelor, 42. When I was a teenager, I volunteered at an elderly care facility. I can't tell you how many of those old residents complained that their children never came to visit them.
Having children simply on the expectation that they'll provide free geriatric care in your later years is an awfully selfish reason to have them. In fact, there are no unselfish reasons to have children.
They ask me the same question!
Also a few people (both of Chinese decent) just stopped talking to me when they found out I didn't have kids! They were very friendly up until the point they found out I didn't have kids. Can you believe that?
Wonder what they’ll do when their kids leave them in a nursing home and tell them they aren’t having children…
Totally agree 💯 I have 6 and totally innerstand your logic, it's actually reasonable. we definitely need more love than anything
Single, child-free and 43, too! I get to choose my family and keep my figure. 😁
People do not like that you have control over YOUR life!!!!
Facts!!! Not to sound morbid, but it’s also not a guarantee that we’ll grow old either.💯
Just subscribed to your channel! It’s good to finally see a childfree male on here!
Welcome to the channel/community! :)
Plenty of isolated parents in nursing homes even on holidays
You're a wise man, Timothy. Earned my subscription 🙌
Welcome to the channel/community!
There is a extra layer when you are a women and say you don't want kids. As a woman you are expected to have a maternal instinct. Great to hear a man also say they don't want children
I worked in a nursing home for years. He is not lying. Smh
Exactly, Have them to Love💜 and cherish them! Any other reason, you are setting them up 😥
Even then its still selfish. Why should someone else be drug out of non existance where they could feel zero pain and had no problems to be dragged here for u to “love and cherish” whatever the hell that is u can get a pet and do the same. U are forcing a death sentence on someone for your own selfish wants.
Well said Timothy. Children should be born and raised with love and care, not because we want a retirement plan
🎯 if anyone has kids for the purpose of taking care of them in old age - I question that logic on multiple levels.
I’ve had people say the same to me over the years (I’m 44). And my response has always been the same as yours.
68 in two days, NO KIDS, no regrets.
Gives me hope. Thank you ❤
This is true! My mom had 4, and my husband, my son, and I are the only ones caring for my mom. I wanted my son to live his life before any huge responsibilities. He moved out to live his life as he should and deserves. He still tells me to this day that he will buy a house big enough for me and his dad to live with him when we have to. Thank you, son! We will live in God's decision for us. But none of my siblings are helping with you know what, it doesn't matter. Mom would never leave her children's side, and as her oldest daughter, I would never leave hers. So you are right, there are no guarantees in life, and your children are not your retirement plan. Be blessed, everyone! ❤
My wife and I have children. One of the best decisions ever. Nothing like when they were younger and I'd come home and they'd all run to the door screaming "Daddy"!!!! Or now that they're older, when THEY come in, my daughters will walk over and give me a hug and begin to tell me about their day, my son will just come check on me "what are you doing"? And hang out for a bit. Love it. In addition to being very loving and considerate, they are also high achievers. My wife and I are VERY fortunate. I couldn't picture life without them.
Cool! The choice is yours. And I'll never question you about choosing to have kids.
Maybe we can treat people who don't want kids with the same respect. I wouldn't tell you that you'll change your mind 😂 but I get told that often.
@@alphamail8974 I can understand. I have an older guy friend. Never married, no kids even though he mentioned once he always wanted a son. However he said he did not want to give a woman "power over him" that he felt such a thing would entail. Sadly because he never married or had kids, he is viewed as "suspect" by some women. And guys for that matter also.
👏👏👏 My male friend wants to have more kids to have someone take care of him when he’s older because he doesn’t have a good relationship with his grown daughter. He doesn’t realize that just because he chose to take of his mom while she’s sick doesn’t mean that his kids would chose that. His sister wanted to put his mom in a nursing home. Nursing homes and assisted living homes exist for a reason!
I'm 46 and have 6 kids age 7-29. When I'm old or sick I told my kids to put me in a home so I can finally get away from their asses. I can't wait for peace
😂
Bro should have used protection instead of b|ch+ing about it
Where, in these modern times, does an adult child, has the time or the training, to care for elderly parents 24/7?
Especially if they have their own children.
Think 🤔 people! Think 🤔! Life is not a TV show or a movie 🎬. 😶
I’ve yet to hear a reason to have a child that isn’t selfish
exactly. only selfless reason is to make more people to take care of all the existing people
Exactly!!!!!! 71 n childless
I’m 65, no kids, no family. Not going to live in fear. When the inevitible happens it happens. The way I choose to look at it is I won’t have to worry about anyone missing me or leaving any broken hearts behind. I was a personal caregiver during my lifetime and ppl would be surprised how many times I saw children do their parents dirty, usually because of money.
You do you, brother. The hell with what people say!! Much respect to you!!! 🙂
I agree. I was shocked when I heard that question cos it never crossed my mind. Even senior citizens who have adult kids they are in contact with still go to nursing homes.
When I was a kid, I knew I didn't want kids... And, I never did.
41 years old and feel the same!
When people would ask me this question my answer was: "The same people who take care of all the rest of the old people--the waitresses at Denny's."
Having worked as a waitress at diners, I can attest that I was feeding a LOT of old people. We'd see the same folks every day for breakfast, lunch and dinner. If someone didn't make it for a couple of days, an employee would pay them a visit to make sure they were ok.
Old people are pretty self sufficient these days. So long as they have their wits about them, they can do most daily things via internet or phone calls. Yes, my 94 year old father-in-law orders his groceries online for delivery. He also uses his smartphone to get an Uber if he's not feeling up for driving.
Don't have kids because you need support in old age. The kids may have other ideas.
The people asking who will care for you when you reach a certain age should be investigated by CPS. Having children because you want someone to care for you when you get old is not a good reason to have children.
Oh my days - this comment just gets me every single time 😂😂
So people with children realize how selfish THEY sound when they have their own kids as a safety net to “look after them” when they’re older?! Plus - there’s ZERO guarantee your kid will even grow up to like you let alone look after you lol
I don’t want my kids taking care of me. They got their own life to live.
A 80 you can still take care of yourself for the most part. If you don’t smoke or drink heavy and don’t have any serious illnesses you can care for yourself all the way up to mid 90s.
I'm 42 with no kids. I once wanted a family, but it wasn't the hand I was dealt, and I am okay with that. I have close people in my life who I have enjoyed having in my life. Now I realize that giving to those people brings me plenty of joy in life. I also realize the ultimate freedom I have with that lifestyle. It'd be nice to meet a woman to call my life partner, but my pursuit in life isn't focused on that. At 42 I usually only date women with the same freedoms rather with older kids of her own, or no desire to have kids. If I met a younger woman who wants kids, that's cool too. To me life's all about surrounding yourself with quality people, and if you have the opportunity to install values into younger people, well that's just a bonus in life, and not a necessity. I don't plan it, but if I become a dad late in life, well so be it. That's good in it's own unique way. The fruits that you yield in life is meant to be shared with others, kids or not. If you're lucky, others may share with you their fruits. After all, why else should you be alive? ✌️
Exactly! I get the same responses. Never had kids. Later found out I wouldn't have been able to because of a health condition. I've had step kids and they don't even talk to their father because he wouldn't support them after becoming adults because he told them if they can afford to party, they can afford food. I took care of my mother, who didn't raise me. I also took care of my grandmother. But other siblings didn't. There is no guarantee
36 woman child free ❤ I love it
It’s your life and we must be what we want. I think our choices can often times trigger others.