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My Suicide Attempt
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- Опубликовано: 19 авг 2024
- Have you ever considered suicide? I did. AND I acted on it. Here's a video about my attempted suicide...my overdose and what I would say to myself today. Today is World Suicide Prevention Day. Suicide and depression is out of control in the LGBTQ+ community as well as the HIV community...and now with BLM, the pandemic, income & food insecurity and inequality...times are TOUGH. And a lot of people are silently struggling with depression, anxiety and thoughts of suicide. We must talk about this. We must be a community that serves to support and uplift one another. And we must do away with the stigma and judgement we place on those who are struggling mentally and emotionally.
My mom’s co-worker had a childhood friend that killed himself. He was gay and his family never accepted him. He became depressed, fell into drug addiction, then hung himself. I’m so very glad that you made it through. Much respect for sharing your story.💪🏾
Thank u so much for sharing ❤️🙏🏽
Have you considered having a podcast? You are so articulated. Thanks for all your educational videos.
Hey my friend, i HAVE considered it! At the moment i dont have the time but it would be great if i eventually get a team of people who can edit for me, help manage my socials etc, and help produce so that i can focus on creating more content for you
@@RaifDerrazi awesome. I second this. Sometimes I'm on a run or on a long drive and would love to just hear you chat about life, hobbies and interests in a podcast. Even if it were through a patreon, or something, I'm sure most of us would be more than glad to sign up. Keep being amazing! You're so dam cool
Would definitely support your podcast
Yea I told him already!!
When i became an adult and started working in another country, its the most depressing shift ive encountered in my life. It made me realized that this is my family wants me to do, this is the reality, pay bills and get stressed everyday from work. Worst part is i have never let myself befriended with anyone here. I dont have anyone i could count on not even my family and been this way for 5yrs. Most of the friends i made in highschool, college may already forgot that i once existed in their lives. I just dont know whats going on or what to do. But still im thankful that there are people like you, it means im not fighting alone
What you maybe viewing as abnormal actually maybe normal behavior. People are experiencing the same if not more of what you have described. I use to think that everyone that is going to make it big has to work and be stressed all day everyday but that is not so. The meaning of happiness comes in many forms and fashions. What would that mean if you didnt have not one person that cares about you? I bet its difficult to not be able to conform to that perspective because if you even took the time to even ask any of the people you think dont care about you, you would find that perspective incorrect. NO one is better than you no one is worst than you. you are a good person.
Raif thank you so much for sharing this! This must be such a difficult memory to look back on (I have some pretty severe anxiety and depression myself, and have struggled for years). Thank God you were able to pull through and overcome. I send love to you and to anybody else going through a rough time. We're all loved, and we're all worth it. 💖💕
Thank you for sharing my lovely friend. ugh, anxiety can be just as crippling as depression!
Your such a handsome man💋💝Im so glad you didn't go through with suicide. I also have and tried to:( i was molested as a child and it really messed with my head sometimes. Love you handsome💕
Hi Laura, i'm giving you a big virtual hug. Thank you for being brave and sharing that. i'm sure it impacts people you don't even realize as well
I’m 20 now, and based on what i’m hearing, what I impulsively did fairly recently is pretty similar to what you talked about here… one thing i’ll say is I regretted what I did very soon after I did it, then I tried to throw it up. I had to go thru impatient treatment but now i’m looking back realizing that overdosing wasn’t the way to go. I really appreciate your vulnerability, it takes lots of strength to be so open about this topic.
I hate that us humans have so many self image issues and seek acceptance from others as well as ourselves. I hope you never feel those thoughts anymore living this life is a true struggle. You are worthy. Just you prevail despite Discrimination your Resilient
the most powerful weapon against suicidal thoughts are your bodys instinct to live its impossible to break
Depression is, in part, grief for your own life not turning out how it should; grief for your own needs not being met. Johann Hari
I’m binge watching your videos literally I’m obsessed
Sorry Raif, I can’t watch this video...hits home too much personally, and just lost my friend of 20+ years to suicide last year...but I played the whole video muted, and gave you the like as I usually do, but can’t comment like usual. Hope ur doing well. Love and aloha from Kaimuki, Honolulu. 😁🤙🏽
It's okay Sean, i understand! Thanks for being vulnerable nevertheless
Raif Derrazi I can’t believe how many 🏳️🌈 friends I’ve lost to suicide over the last 27 years (since I first came out)...8 in total. Ranging from not wanting to tell their deeply Catholic family, to having severe body dysphoria and not being able to afford to transition...and a couple of friends simply because their depression was crippling. I contemplated it twice in 1994, the year I came out, shortly after my 21st bday...but glad I didn’t do it yet. Anyway, I hope ur staying safe and healthy in WeHo. I give u credit for living there...it was fun, but it wasn’t for me.
PS - Please give Duke a hug for me. 😍🐶
@@unknownguy1994 Please provide journal articles and peer-reviewed studies PROVING the existence of this alleged disease. If not, please remove your comment. I don’t want a conspiracy theory on my comment thread. Thank you.
Raif, I have never met you, but I KNOW you. I knew you from your first video, and that was years ago. Your message to 'little Timmy' is exactly correct. I have been fortunate to teach and counsel over 60.000 of you guys in the US and in cyber space. I have been doing this since way before you were born. I thank God for your emergency room doctor, your mother, and people in your life that eventually got you to see who you really are. I always tell the kids that I work with who always thank me for being a good guy: "I am no better a person than you are, and probably less good. You just don't understand that yet." I think God, Raif, that you finally understood that before it was too late. Please take care of yourself and continue the fantastic work that you do with your videos. You are saving lives, I have no doubt about that.....love you, man.........Ray
I can’t be the only one here from Jubilee
haha, well idk but i'm glad YOU are
ur not :)
Love ya amigo! So glad you got thru it. I lost a very good friend to suicide - and it was extremely unexpected. You are special and important. #onelove
❤️🙏🏻 !! @54 yr I still fight but I understand my body, mind I run to friends before the demon take me. Love my friends, it really sucks all my life fighting the demons. Love you, The things that you bring up, I know you are doing good for others. Refreshing yourself also makes you stronger. Thank you
I love you Raif (Timmy). Thank you for sharing! Wouldn't it's be great to have a group of all of us that failed at suicide make a video or poster for those that are... at that spot we were at 14/15?
Great video! You are very strong by creating it, and sharing a very private part of yourself!
José
You are so very amazing sharing a part of your self. It is just awesome how this body we live in can survive such damage. Our bodies were amazingly made. There has to be a higher power dont you agree?
At a very young age (teens) issues that may appear small to an adult or older person may seem so very huge. There is a reason why. Our brains are still growing and developing. Also including miss information. I wonder if there were people that took their life back in the day when syphilis, gonorrhea coughs were new infections. Can you imagine how many great lives would have been lost. You all are awesome awesome people that can empower so many others.
Your a star. Thank you for everything! Love you so much!
I believe you sorted out your life better than I did. That's probably why your life is going well. Keep up the good work.
Glad your still alive! Love and blessings! Don’t give up! Life gets better.
Love you Raif,so many of us do.thank you for what u do
Thank you for sharing this. It takes a LOT to open yourself like this to the world Blessings and love to you for all you have done and all the will be for you
wow you just have a library of empowerment. Thanks guy!!!
I have some truly amazing interviews coming up from this week. Two of the gentlemen cured of HIV and the head CEO/director of the Buck institute on aging…these will be so empowering. Can’t wait to share 😉🙏🏽
🙂@@RaifDerrazi Remember who you are. Remember your dream. What awesome news
Everyone is searching for a break through. New possibilities, new developments, a thriving individuals, groups, communities, ect. Get in - powered
How did the interview go>??@@RaifDerrazi
That was a lovely video very heart felt I've suffered since I was 20 now in my 50s and wasted 30years of my life and I still struggle but Hay I still carry on your a lovely guy as well
Just discovered u through jubilee was watching some of ur videos from self improvement playlist they are really helpful
I love u and admire u keep making videos 🙌
Non retard Vinay Aw yay! Thank you for this! I don’t think anyone has ever specifically mentioned the playlist. I appreciate it 😌🙏🏽
I just discovered you Raif. Sending you so much love!!!!! you're incredible and you have a gentle spirit. I wish you the BEST in life.
Aw thank you!
I’m thankful that you shared this video Raif. My question for you (I’ll ask it via Instagram too in case you do not see this comment) is: How does someone reach out to an individual who won’t open up?
The basis of this comes from the fact that if someone does not fully open up, what ways do you suggest inquirers to pry? We live in a culture where we shouldn’t pry but that we also understand that people should feel loved. There is a balance of making sure that we ask, we show concern, and that the individual shares the information for intervention, right? Granted the asker SHOULD be trustworthy, if someone doesn’t share, what else should happen?
Your vunerability is beautiful Raif. Thanks for sharing this. xoxo
Thanks Raif for sharing... I’d appreciate this as I am going thru a difficult time as well.
ruclips.net/video/902YsWUVADQ/видео.html
Help
Truly amazing, thank you so much for this video! :)
Hello Raif. Thanks for sharing your story. I know it's not easy but remember this, God wants us to not kill ourselves even though we're living in a cruel world. Keep God in your heart and mind. Also, can you share more about the bullying story during your childhood? Cheers
It's not the world that is cruel it's the people who live in the World
There is something great, a great gift in your inner self. You have forgiven yourself and others. Something that is not easy.
How does this feel? What a great place to be!
maybe just maybe reach the unreachable
Awww thank you for posting this !!!!!
Thanks for sharing ! Its good to hear experiences you can learn from.
Trinidad wow nice
Stop just asking me if I am ok?
Am not ok😔
People will never understand this.
You are too handsome to die boy, life is a gift, you are doing a great job to help others find purpose of life keep going.
I also tried to commit suicide not once but many times ,But suicide is not the solution I know easy to say but hard to do. Now I have heart disease I don't want to attempt to do it again. And also I have depression and anxiety.
Thank you for sharing your story. You have a beautiful speaking voice.
as someone who is late diagnosed autistic i also wanna say that suicide is higher in autistic people as well.
Thank u for sharing ❤️🙏🏽
Please don't cry 😭.. ...you me cry tooooo..... you're our hero..... 😘
I think our struggles help guide, mentor, and preservence that will empace a larger audience
we love you Raif!
I am happy that you were unsuccessful !
Luv u Raif 💓 glad your doing well, look good too.
Ur very brave. Thank you for sharing
Thanks for sharing your story!
September 10th is suicide day. Didn’t know that, thank you
Thank you sir raif Godbless! 🙏😊
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️sending love and hugs
I'm giving myself 1 year
Thanks for sharing your story
Hi bro I am contact with someone before 65days now symptoms appear like oral thrush, dizziness, nail cavity, fever, cold, rash, tiredness, my skin turn darken, I took the test after 60 days (like hive duo test) result will be non reactive what I do it's related to HIV or other sTI plz give me suggestions bro
Hii bro I am from India my question is ,if someone get tested hiv 1/2 and p24 combo test after 1 year from the possible exposure.can he be declared negative?
Sending lots of love and hugs from me to you. #youarenotalone
Please Raif i would like to see more videos of you of happy thinks, no suicide attemps. there are many thinks.
We need help from God andnif we really ask Him for it., He would help us.
Prayer to the Holy Spirit (St Augustine)
Breathe in me O Holy Spirit, that my thoughts may all be holy.
Act in me O Holy Spirit, that my work, too, may be holy.
Draw my heart O Holy Spirit, that I love but what is holy.
Strengthen me O Holy Spirit, to defend all that is holy.
Guard me, then, O Holy Spirit, that I always may be holy. Amen
Love you.....
maybe your friends felt something was wrong and just wanted to take you out that night. ME TOO OMG WHY YOU DID IT IS LITERALLY ME TOO. i feel so worthless and i feel like the ppl around me dont realize how deep it is and tbh i want to scare them. I just want them to fucking care
It’s so hard when you don’t feel understood. At the end of the day the think that means the most to me is that I have ME. I GET me. I understand me. I support me. I love me. So with that as my foundation, I am good
Have you watched House of Numbers?
12:18 😢
Where are you from originally
Hey man thanks for inspiring us .suppose if you did that now lot of people commit sucide without hope
Hugs
You can try vitamin b3 bro
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
The family should be the one who will accept gay kids but other family are not that.
ruclips.net/video/902YsWUVADQ/видео.html
K
bro i think i have acute hiv symtoms?what should i do now?im not gay?it was a used blade at barber shop
Get yourself tested asap
@@mezzidadarry1456 what is asap
@@mezzidadarry1456 bro i tested as soon as i got rash and was tested negative but is there some chance to get positive test in future.im so depressed
@@tiger7251 asap = as soon as possible
@@tiger7251 you have to get yourself tested periodically at least once in 3 months if you have sex during that period. But if you don't have sex at least for 6 months and you don't have specific symptoms such as long term flu or diarrhea you are in a good shape. Remember to always use a protection/condom when you have sex and if it possible, don't change your sexual partner often.