I wish I didn't have similar stories from when I was 18, but the amount of moms of 5yo who have special needs who will leave them with literally any 18yo.... its a pattern for sure. You can't be mad at an untrained babysitter for not knowing how to handle these situations.
Yeah, that one had me 50/50. Calling the kid constantly sucks (particularly for the truck since that IS something you can figure out yourself), but this is an 18-year-old that doesn't know how the kid is gonna react to stuff. I'd be pretty cautious too after the mac-n-cheese thing, and that's as someone with autism myself. Is a mostly-stranger touching them or their stuff going to set them off? What does the kid want to eat if they refuse to tell you? Don't know if they tried to talk things through before calling the brother the other times, but they specifically said they did with the fig bars and Bo just huffed. Parents are the assholes for not giving any information prior and Len is a casualty to an inexperienced babysitter's ignorance. Using their actual names was a dick move though. As was calling him spoiled for not liking being called to help constantly. Parentifying is a very different phenomenon than what was happening there imo, but it's still annoying as shit. Len was right to be annoyed and OP was directing their own annoyance at the wrong person.
@@cassilac4510when i was 13 i was hired to babysit a nonverbal 8yo with Downs syndrome and never told the special household rules (but the 40something mother flipped at her 4yo and 7yo for not sharing the rules)
Agreed. I'm level 2 autistic and my parents never briefed babysitters or teachers on my care needs, so people often felt forced to ask my brother for help with my care when I did not have the means to vocalize why I was in pain. I now have no relationship with my brother. It's not fair to either child. The OP definitely did some things wrong, but the parents are the worst here for not briefing a caretaker on how to care for their disabled child.
@@babashanko5358 yeah like the babysitter was absolutely in the wrong too but it's more of an esh situation (except for the children). like idk i'm autistic too and have low support needs but i would ALSO have freaked out about a stranger giving me food i dont like and touching me for any reason as a 5 year old. i think most of the blame belongs with the parents for even choosing an inexperienced 18 year old to babysit their children in the first place and seemingly not even briefing her on what to expect and how to react including absolute basics like what the kids will eat.
So many of these posts are either "AITA for standing up to abuse?" or "AITA for being an abuser?" and it hurts that too many people genuinly do not realize this.
that's the root issue but still if she's in the care of a baby that needs to be taken care of at night, of course the dad will ask her to please make sure she wakes up to take care of the helpless infant.
The “sexy baby” thing is sexual harassment and misogynistic, even if it’s not coming from a place of sexual attraction it’s coming from a place of passive sexual power. She’s bullying other women for not being “normal” or “mature” because it makes her feel secure in her place in the patriarchal pecking order.
Seriously! Like, I.....apologise? for being 5' tall? What am I actually supposed to DO, go back in time, use genetic engineering techniques that _didn't even exist yet_ on my unborn self, and then show back up as a 5'6" woman? Like WTF? It's almost as if human beings are different heights, or something....! (Also if this SIL knew just how LITTLE I _care_ about my "value" in the "sexual marketplace" or the patriarchal pecking order, I think it'd blow up her brain. Not all women are constantly thinking about men, if they're attractive enough to men, and what men think about them. Some women are just trying to get through their damn day.)
I was very briefly on the babysitter's side for the story with the autistic kid... very briefly. She shouldn't have been put in charge of two neurodivergent kids without comprehensive instructions and emergency guidance available. Hell, they probably shouldn't use untrained babysitters period for that combo of needs. But making everything the older kid's problem? Being cruel to him? Calling him spoiled?? She's too young and inexperienced to babysit neurodivergent kids, but she's definitely old enough to know better than to talk sh*t about literal children.
The thing is, I feel like she was briefed but decided to ignore it… like she barely interacted with the kids until she fed them. I feel bad for the mom though since she’s probably getting a lot of shit for recommending her daughter
I was on the sitter’s side for the first one, because a meal feels like something the sibling probably knows and is a more complicated than the others. But once it came to putting together a fire truck or putting a Band-Aid on, you are an adult about to go to college, you should be able to handle that much.
"Sexy baby" story: You shut the SIL up for good by going "you think I'm a sexy baby? Why do you think babies are sexy? Are you sexually attracted to me cos you think I look like a baby? Why are you sexualising babies?" And just keep going lowkey pdf shaming them until they never say a single word to you ever again
I really wish the world worked like that, but, that will probably just make everything worse. SIL is unhinged and manipulative af. Poking that kind of person with a stick over and over will not make them shut up, more the opposite.
Imagine being paid for babysiting, making 10 y/o to do your job and then calling him spoiled and incompetent. I feel so bad for that's girl future collegues.
Why do I get the feeling 'sexy baby' SIL might be secretly attracted to OP, and is having issues processing that? Like, when she thinks it's inappropriate for a shorter woman to wear a swimsuit to a pool party of all places I think someone is uncomfortably questioning their heterosexuality. What else is OP supposed to wear in a pool, a hazmat suit or something?
Yup Why reply to that story was how to shut the SIL up for good by going "you think I'm a sexy baby? Why do you think babies are sexy? Are you sexually attracted to me cos you think I look like a baby? Why are you sexualising babies?" And just keep going lowkey pdf shaming them until they never say a single word to you ever again
5:40 Bruh….she ALREADY HAD THE KID. These people are being so rude. Like, also, if she has a LIST, she can choose another one. As Kiwi said, unless it was something she knew and actively took it, Def not the a hole at all.
I think even if OP knew it was on her list, I don't see anything really wrong with it (unless she really only had that *one* boy name on it). The sister doesn't own the name and if OP likes it too, why should OP bend to sister's will and not the other way around? Does OP have to avoid every single name that is on a close relatives baby name list? And as you said. It's a list implying that are more names on it.. plus it's not guaranteed that sister will ever have kids or have a son in particular. OP's son is here now and therefore has more right to the name than a child that might never be born or gets a different name from the list anyway.
I definitely want more details on this because Finnick isn't exactly a super common name, so it makes me wonder if her sister has talked about wanting to use that name and gave her the idea and that's why she's so mad. It's hard with AITA stories because you usually only get the heavily filtered perspective of the one telling the story. I had unique names picked out for my kids and happily told them to anyone who asked, never knowing this whole 'stealing names' thing was a thing. It was thankfully never an issue for me, but if her sister was the same, I can very much see her being very upset about it, even if it was one of a few names she had saved. It being something that unique, rather than like Chris or John, also makes me wonder if the AITA storyteller isn't giving the whole story.
@@borealernadelwald imo even if the sister really liked the name, since she is not in a relationship and doesnt have plans to get pregnant soon, there's no need for the whole drama. There can be two kids in the family named Finnick if they are born 10 years apart or something (I generally dont get the whole "I want to name my kid this name but it's taken" and I'm one of those kids, my parents had liked a name when they were pregnant with me but a really close family friend was also pregnant and wanted to name their kid with the same name so my parents let her have the name and we're not even related; then my parents named me something that wasnt very common at the time but it turns out a lot of parents thought the name is not very common and now i have a relatively common name, always had at least one more kid in my class with the same name at school)
19:33 What i also really hate about this one is that she calls Len spoiled and a bad older brother. Siblings of neuro divergent or disabled kids are often overlooked and in the shadow. Their parents are busy caring for the sibling and most of the parents' attention will focus on the sibling. The poor boy probably already had to step back a lot of times in the past.
And the brother had ADHD as well. Sadly, there are also plenty of cases where the child in a home with multiple neurodivergent children who is deemed "least disabled" by their disability is neglected and parentified. In some cases, this can lead to the "least" disabled child feeling more disabled by their disability due to a lack of accomodations. This child's struggles are then percieved as an act to demand attention and are severely punished. It happened to my brother and I growing up and it destroyed our relationship with each other. I haven't spoken to him in almost a decade.
Yea the one about the plaster broke me. Like he's autistic, he's not a feral animal, you can just ask him if it's ok to put it. It's yet again another time people learn someone is disabled and suddenly forget how to treat human beings. Autistic ppl are still people. But yeah big yikes for the parents for not telling the babysitter what his safe foods are. I feel like if you have an autistic child that should be communicated, so that's on the parents but I feel like if you're gonna freeze up after encountering literally one issue with a child regardless if that child is autistic or not you shouldn't take care of children, and that's ok, not everyone is cut out for that but then you can't really blame the other child, cuz if they were the one responsible for dealing with their brother they wouldn't need a babysitter. Also treat disabled people like people, sincerely a disabled person
13:11 Not an inherently a bad idea, but how fucking late are they babysitting??? The entire night? I don’t understand. I wouldn’t want my baby just left crying either, but also…if that isn’t waking them they must be SUPER tired. Which is another concern altogether. If they have to work the entire night….don’t hire a student. Edit: How hard are they being worked that they are so tired? How long are they babysitting? Why can’t you find someone who is more equipped of you will reprimand at one mistake? If this wasn’t someone who is also in school and this just IS there job, it wouldn’t be as jerky an ask.
I know, those were my exact thoughts too. I don't think she was at fault just for asking the babysitter to pay attention when the baby cries. However, if they knew the babysitter had school the next day, the parents should've hired someone more qualified for that level of responsibility
@@morargsara ya, we don't know what's going on in there life like if she wasn't informed both kids had issue's it might have seemed like the older one was being a jerk on purpose i'm thinking the mom lied and said there kids were perfect and didn't need any "special" care
19:33 The second she said that she thought babysitting would be easy just shows she had zero experience with being around kids let alone kids with special needs. The sister & family were right to be upset with her because she absolutely parentified a child because she couldn't be bothered to help a child & do simple tasks like helping them with their toys, put a band-aid on a cut, or calming them down when they upset. Yes, she should have been briefed beforehand as that may have helped. However the way she just immediately calls for Len rather than talking to Bo rubs the wrong way because I have ADHD & I know exactly what it feels like that be treated like I'm not capable of understanding things or talked about while in the room like I'm not there which is what she did to Bo. Rather than asking him she just probably assumed that since he's autistic he can't understand anything around him. Heck even if he was nonverbal she could have still found a way to communicate with him but she didn't
My husband (we were married for 21 years) passed away in January. Our oldest (19m) was in college, he chose to drop that semester (it was due to start 2 days after his dad died) and move home for a bit until things calmed down, he says it was to help me, but really i think he just needed to be HOME for a while after losing his dad. He was a HUGE help with his siblings (16f, 14nb, 11f, 9f & 6m) and I'm eternally grateful (he ran errands occasionally or dropped siblings at whatever or picked up from day care if I got held up at work...I did/do 90% of the cleaning and 100% of the cooking). But when fall came and it was time for school to start back up I wished him well and sent him on his way. It's 100% MY JOB to parent my kids (him included) and we're doing ok. That lady needs to not hold her kid back. Not gonna lie though, I'm looking forward to my son coming home next summer, not because I want a helper, just because I like having all my birds in the nest 😉
@ShadowKamehameha32 thank you. He's an amazing kid. Sometimes, it blows my mind. He worked over that time he was home at my job (gas station) and all my coworkers adore him and begged me not to let him leave 😉 because he's a good worker and just a good guy.
I'm sorry for your loss, and it seems like you and your husband raised a great young man. Stepping up for one's family during a hard time is very different from being forced to shoulder the responsibility of younger siblings due to parental neglect. I wish the very best for y'all ❤
As a parent with a 20 and 22 yr old, I understand the birds being in the nest thing in a way I never did before. You can be a supportive parent, wanting them to go out and live their lives and have a good time, and still miss having them around. I never expected to enjoy when the 22 yr old is back home and they are both here at the same time as much as I do. Even if she's just hanging out in another room or coming by after work and taking a nap here before she goes home (I do not know why she does this, but I do think it's cute and am glad she feels comfortable here). It just feels so nice. So yeah, just wanted to say how much I understand that exact wording, because I too love having all of my birds in the nest.
7:40 5ft tall female and generally femme person here. (I’m NB). Luckily haven’t run into it too much, but omg when it does happen. Too many people think we act like kids, and like…I’m just being comfortable, like pastels, and am autistic so am viewed as “childish” sometimes.
I'm 5'1 my best friend, bf, and friend group are all taller than me. I was always called cutesy. Baby hands, whatever. Stopped after I ripped up a tree and was watched working horses. Now it's Valkyrie build 🤣it was a nightmare in middle school and high school. Apparently being shirt makes it hard to tell what gender you are too. 🙄
One thing i don't understand is why can't the older still use Finnick if she really wanted to? I'm assuming they don't live with each other, so it wouldn't confuse the kids, Could nickname one of them finn, for when they are both in the same room, if she really wants the name as well. My mom married my step dad and he had kids from another marriage, my sister and my steps-sister both have the name kylie, (spilt diffrently) they just added their middle names, like i can think of ways if the older sister really wanted the name.
I grew up with an autistic sister, and that one story about the two brothers pissed me off so badly. Siblings of people with things like autism are often parentified to an extreme degree. I was expected to help raise my sister and IM YOUNGER THAN HER (by 4 years). I can't imagine how bad it would be if you're also older. My needs were treated as though they were always inherently less important than hers because I wasn't diagnosed with autism, and I never really got the emotional support I needed, so call me crazy for saying there's almost no way he's as spoiled as you said he was. Expecting children to do chores is fine, that's pretty normal. Expecting children to help you raise other children while they are themselves still a child is insane.
Bo and Len's babysitter story: Everybody sucks here! Well, the OP and the parents suck. The kids are just kids. Firstly, the parents suck because they didn't inform OP of what should be done about Bo. Also, kids with special needs really should be watched by somebody with experience or (better yet) somebody who's been trained for it. Especially when they're young! I should know, I work with special needs children ages 5-8. OP said something about "I thought it wouldn't be a problem because he's young" but it's exactly the opposite. The younger they are, the more difficult they are. Which then brings us around to why OP sucks. Instead of trying to figure out what to do herself, she immediately called upon Len every time. So yes, she DID parentify him to some extent because of that. I know from experience that autistic kids can react unpredictably to certain things, so I understand that it can be stressful trying to figure out what to do. But that's literally what she's being paid for! Which then brings us back around to why the parents suck here.
@WiloKun According to the sister (her reply is at 22:04 if you want to read it) her mother would have told OP about how to take care of Bo and Len's disabilities because they usually do and that OP called Len a bad brother and incompetence to his face. Honestly the reply changes everything so it's worth a read.
Yes! I posted this in another video. I would very much like to see some of the other comments and to know the results of what the community voted on these.
For the baby sitting story, he is the ah because he hired a teenager. Technically (depending where she lives) its illegal to make kids work over a certain time/past a certain time, part of that time being night time. If he wanted someone who will be up every hour he should have hired a professional instead of a teenager whos doing it and most likely has school to deal with too. Dont cheap out on childcare if you care about your children Edit: same with the autistic kid. If someone has NO experience with autistic/adhd kids they have no place babysitting them. You shouldn't have to rely on another kid to babysit a kid
20:59 this person clearly had no patience to babysit but also shame on the parents for yeah. Not giving literally any information on the youngests triggers or sensory issues. and a brother should be able to be a brother! A child! Not a parent :) Glad the older sister put her in her place!! and all of us actually lol.
13:05 What? That is a learning experience. If a 16 year old accepts a job to work over night, mind you there doing it by choice, you would expect said teen to actually monitor your child. And from what I heard he didn't yell at her, he talked to her calmly.
The shirt says "WHY BE RACIST, SEXIST, HOMOPHOBIC, OR TRANSPHOBIC WHEN YOU COULD JUST BE QUIET" Idk i spent 1 minute not focusing on her talking cus i had to know what was written on the shirt
People really don't believe me when I say I don't want kids because I don't have a maternal bone in my body, I don't like kids, I would NOT be good raising them because I don't know how to be around them.......... But when the babysitter one came around I was like, "NTA just throw food at them and let them solve their own shit out. Idk" and apparently that's the wrong answer LOL LIKE, Y'ALL, THIS IS EXACTLY WHY I SAY I DON'T WANT KIDS. I AM NOT MATERNAL.
Its not really about being maternal hahaha imagine it like this: you are hanging out somewhere and someone is payed there to take care of the place and instead of doing it they make you do it and then they are also mean to you about it? Thats the situation here. Not only is she bad at her job she is also mean
@@mmmmmmmmariathis isn't about not wanting kids, this is about the fact I am genuinely terrible with them and no one seems to believe me. The point I am stressing OVER and OVER to people is, "do not entrust your child to me. Do not put them in the same room as me. Do not expect I will do a good job minding it." There's a lot of people who don't want kids but are still good with kids. I'm not one of them. And I am very tired of people expecting that I likely am, or I should be. Just keep the things away from me.
16:52 I can actually answer this one. I grew up in a very evangelical christian home and this is one of those odd behaviors that seems very weird looking in. it has to do with culpability. In many of these christian's eyes, what people are doing when they are not around is on them and they will have to answer for judgement, but if they are around and are capable of preventing "sin", then they could be culpable for that "sin" for not stepping up to prevent it if they do not do so. Is it biblical? Not really, but it's something that's developed in many christian circles and not just the super evangelical ones
Can confirm as a very Fundie kid. It's a case of 'what you do is your business but if I'm providing a home, finances, then I have the authority to determine how that's used because it's my money and my home.' And that's with the idea that sin could be on HER (mother's) shoulders, as if she's agreeing with behaviour I am doing that she considers sinful. So if I'm having sex without her knowledge (which I am), that's my thing. But if I invited my man over and had sex under the roof, that means she's essentially giving the go ahead to something she morally disagrees with and she doesn't want the culpability of that on her shoulders. She won't accept or agree with something she considers to be sinful. Aka if I want to have sex with my man, we dutch split funds for love hotels and do it without her knowledge. Because I certainly can't be with him in our home because the house is run on a strict moral ground. And if I don't like it, the answer is (irrespective of my personal funds, I LITERALLY can't afford it in a rental crisis): "move out of home" God's way or the highway, there's no leeway or compromise or gradient. Very strict and there's Terms & Conditions to her home, her finances, even though I'm a 28 year old adult. People often misconstrue things because they say, "but you're an adult, she can't tell you what to do" because they see it as a parent-child thing. It's not. It's a RELIGIOUS thing, and RELIGION comes with a code of conduct that I follow to the letter. So she gives me full permission to live the life I want, so long as I move out of home, dissociate from her, not receive provisions from her, because the ONLY code of conduct allowed from me is that which aligns with fundamentalist evangelical Christianity. I am not allowed to exist *outside* of that because it's sinful.
In the music festival one, she paid for both tickets out of pocket, and the brother is acting entitled for the ticket money after bailing. It’s clarified in further posts that it was her money to begin with, and he went into her account to take her money, and she got the bank to get it back. That’s what the brother meant by taking money.
10:58 thank you so much, its not a common struggle to have but there’s much more on top of this that irks me. its rare i see anyone talking abt the issues of being skinny (mainly physical and psychological) im no where near the ideal body type despite being thin. its something i actively dislike abt myself, trust, everyone’s bodies are different and react differently to gaining/loosing weight. despite trying everything since age 7 to up weight it hasn’t changed, its hard. in both directions, gaining and losing weight is different for everyone and some really struggle. perpetuating stereotypes like this onto ppl who very well could’ve tried everything to change bc they want u to be happy is horrible. tldr: u cannot make everyone happy, especially when it’s near impossible to meet the standard. love yourself for u and no one else, especially over things u can’t change. the ppl who were meant to love u will find their way to u and accept u as u are
Chiming in on the “sexy baby” one, my best friend is 4’9” and she literally only fits in kids clothes. Like she is limited to buying kids clothes and shoes because nothing else fits her. She’s 25 and has never been able to wear “adult” clothes so I feel for the OP
With the whole ‘sexy baby’ post, i’m a short woman, not quite as short (~5 foot), but still short nonetheless. Since everyone I know is significantly taller than me I have to deal with constant remarks about my height and have been made to feel like shit for it ever since I was in secondary school. I wouldn’t say i’m extremely petite and skinny, i have curvier hips and thighs, but I have a smaller chest and my upper body is pretty skinny and small. Because of this, i was constantly being harassed about my small chest by men and being made to feel like i’m less of a woman. I already get brushed to the side and ignored because people can physically look over me, so in crowd situations i’m just kicked around like a football, in queues people have no issue barging in front of me, and nobody ever takes me seriously when i’m angry making comments about “oh, you’re such an angry baby” and mocking me by pretending to throw a tantrum and laughing at me. I will NEVER be taken as seriously as taller women. That’s not to take away from the issues tall women face, my closest friend is ~6 foot and i see the struggles she faces daily. But I’m viewed as more of a spectacle. As entertainment. Nobody views me as a woman, i’m viewed as a child in every sense of the word. I cannot like silly little things like Hello Kitty and Cinnamoroll, I cannot have plushies or dress a bit more childishly. This makes it all worse. It makes the borderline bullying a lot worse. My taller friends can like and do these things more freely (yes they still get the odd comment from men), but the moment i do, i’m ‘pandering to p*dos’. I cannot exist happily in my own body. I have hoped so many times I’d have a growth spurt to be taller, so I can finally be taken seriously. The one thing i never really thought about until the age of 13-14 has become my biggest insecurity. I hate my height so much for the issues it causes me. To people, i’m no more than a glorified child, just a little doll to be passed around a bullied and treated like crap.
I feel for the short girl on such a deep level. As a VERY short guy I fully understand how disheartening it is when people treat you differently but "sexy baby" is next level unhinged.. who tf says that?? I've wondered if short girls get the same treatment as short guys and I guess this answers that :/
for story 1, even if the mom is genuinely too busy to cook for her child, a 7th grader is usually old enough to handle some amounts of home cooking as long as they have been taught how to do it safely. my mom did cook for us most of the time, but some days when i was home alone i would cook myself some pasta with fried sausages so i wouldnt always need to eat readymade meals and leftovers or just rely on snacks like toast and fruit. it might seem extreme to just put the responsibility of cooking for herself onto sara, but if there genuinely is no other option for her to get homemade meals, i think it could work in a situation like hers
I've never even heard of the "sexy baby" thing. That's messed up! That last one made my blood boil! That mother should not have had children if she didn't want to take care of them.
Ok. The babysitting story got me upset on its own. As someone who has Autism, I KNOW the struggles. AND I HAVE OLDER SIBLINGS that had to deal with my different ways of living. And THEY HAVE DISABILITIES as well. Some more hidden then others. ...So when I heard that the babysitter not only forced the older brother to become the parent...but the older brother had a disability himself and he was OVERLY SELF CONTIOUS over how he feels about being an older brother to his Autistic younger brother... ...Ooooh, I want to find that babysitter and...force her to eat crappy canned mac & cheese!
i found the post on r/aita (whew, had to be SPECIFIC when phrasing that google search) and apparently the (WEIRD) term is in reference to a specific character on a show called 30 Rock who essentially fetishized herself through self-infantilization. Talking in baby voice, etc. Still, weird to accuse a grown but short woman just trying to be an adult of that. I wonder if SIL is jealous of OP's appearance and is trying to shame her into associating dressing in anyway feminine or attractive as inevitably being the """"""sexy baby"""" that she's not allowed to dress in a way that makes her feel attractive because her appearance is just doomed to be that of a child's....again WEIRD
i dont think i've ever been this early but im so happy this one actually loaded in the other aita video's havent been loading for me recently on your chanel :] nmm
i'm 156cm (which is about 5'1") and have a small chest.. i always get mistaken for being WAY younger than i actually look and it's really frustrating. sometimes i feel like men only find me attractive because i "look like a teenager". i even have been called a "loli" by one guy in my old class, which by the way is not even a joke. those people really exist edit: i honestly wish people would talk about this kind of stuff more because even in things like porn, small women (thin, barely any chest) ALWAYS get categorized as "legal teen" "barely legal" and more such things despite being an adult (i'm talking 20+ year old). it's really disgusting...
Short women who get treated like kids and us tall women who get treated like men in drag need to band together against the real menage of insecure average-sized women! ;)
@@randomnonsense83 It really should be discussed more. I'm tired of men seeing young women as more "fertile". I don't know if the thing is that it's something primal within humans is true, but it's still a disgusting thing to say or think about a woman.
17:51 I myself have had a lot of interactions with people who have autism. My older brother has it and I might as well but we can’t get me diagnosed as of the moment. Like you said, asking for consent to put the plaster on it is the good way to do it. And talking them through the steps of what you’re doing never hurts. I’ve never had any interactions with young people with autism other than my brother, but most of the time(from my experiences) you need patience and you need to talk, a lot. This is just from my experiences, so it’s not facts, so don’t take everything I say to heart and if you want to learn more I encourage you to do some research on it. And if you’re going to look after someone that has autism you really need to know what you’re doing :]
I snorted at the 18 year old that has never had a job saying "babysitting is easy" OP should have definitely been told the childrens preferences but how could you not be willing to put a band-aid on a kid? It didn't sound like she knew what to do at all. Maybe im biased because ive babysat since i was 14.
As a woman who has also been short all her life and often guessed to be younger than I am, probably at least partly because of that fact, EFF. THAT. SISTER-IN-LAW. Oh, MY god, how very DARE you. You're mad that I called you out FOR BEING A BULLY? There's a simple solution to that: DON'T. BE. A BULLY. I really saw red at the part where the SIL was telling OP not to try "starting sh*t". BEEYOTCH YOU STARTED IT YOURSELF, MONTHS AGO! This isn't starting. This is just finally turning the constant bullying, into a TWO-sided fight. Hands would be thrown. HANDS, would be THROWN. How dare you get all offended at me for DARING to be mad at the fact that YOU are a horrible, horrible person? Hands. Now. AFTER I calmed down (if ever) and if we both still had all our teeth and limbs, THEN I would do the "Why do you think babies are sexy?" thing at her. And then, I'd LIKE to say I would start deliberately dressing all cutesy-kiddish, aka actually DO the thing she's constantly accusing me of doing--and specifically only dress that way when she comes over. Like, the second I hear SIL is coming to a family event, I'd grab two scrunchies and start making pigtails (and with my butt-length hair, that's kind of annoying to do.) ....but in actuality I'm a grumpy, withdrawing, avoidant little introvert, and what I would ACTUALLY do, is ask if she's coming to any family event, and just not come if I hear she is. If the other relatives ask why, I wouldn't give them any fake excuses. I would say tell the whole story. Mad at me for calling you out ONCE? I'll do it over and over, if necessary. She'd blow up my phone. I'd block her on everything. And then I'd go on with my life, feeling such FREEDOM, now that ding, dong, the witch is "dead", and I no longer feel that big toxic boulder on my back. PHEW. Oh, and: That last part is not theoretical. I've actually DONE that--and to a blood relative. She wouldn't stop bullying me, and I didn't want to listen to it anymore. Being FAMILY doesn't earn you time and space in my life. Being a decent human being does.
AITA for thinking baptising babies should be forbidden? Don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against baptisms, I just think it’s weird to force it on babies. In my honest opinion I think that parents should wait until their child/children are a bit older, like 12 years old to ask them if they want to be baptised.
not defending the practice, but different branches of christianity/catholicism call for baptism at different times in their belief systems. some think they have to do it in the early youth (the branch i was raised in but rejected as i got older baptised me at less than a month old, for example) and some choose to do it later. if im remembering right, some want it to be done after/during confirmation (the thing where kids get allowed to take communion after passing), and some branches just dont care and you can get baptized whenever you feel like it. youre definitely not in the wrong for seeing it as weird, i agree with you, but to say it should be entirely banned is a little much-- its part of religious belief. if youre baptized in youth, and the event was before you would be able to remember, its very easy to just pretend it didnt happen and you were never baptized :)
I'm an atheist and pretty anti-religion in general, but I don't know a lot about baptism or the culture surrounding it. (I grew up in a Muslim household.) I'm opposed to getting baby's ears pierced or getting your child circumcised, but that's mostly because it's an unnecessary physical change without a baby's consent. A baptism doesn't physically change a child nor does it make them Christian (?). Is it supposed to give your child salvation before they can really choose to pickup Christianity? I think it is so much more impactful to choose to be baptized when you're older, but I don't see a problem with getting it done as a baby as long as it is appropriate to get baptized more than once. I also don't think you're an ahole for thinking it should be forbidden. They can always get in the future when they can consent.
Idk why you came here for that but I don't think baptisms are that deep anywhere outside the usa. Like, in my country most kids were baptised in the past and none of the atheist I am surrounded of seem to care. I am agnostic and I just don't careabout it. Parents started doing it because they were afraid their children would be stuck in limbo, which whatever, but now in most christian communities around the world it's pretty much a cultural practice that is just falling out. It's become a social celebration that just feels ajward. Honestly I think it's just a husstle to do it when you are older for whetever reason. Almost nobody converts to christianity in my country, but honestly sounds so akward. I just wouldn't do it. It's a 30 yr old celebrating a quinceañera. Who do you invite? Besides that, many kids that weren't baptised but were still raised in a religious environment still did it later to get gifts in a first communion. If you are an atheist don't do it cause your kid won't convert, but at least in a catholic environment you are gonna reach a first comunion moment and most I knew in that situation baptised for the kids and regretted doing that effort for something they didn't care about. In my opinion, americans are way too passionate about the worst parts of religion and that may lead to people, idk, feeling too Christian because of the baptism when they want to detach themselves from that. I mean, later you have comunion, confirmation, religious marriage, etc. So where I live if you become an atheist you just don't do those. I didn't have a confirmation and honestly I do not feel the baptism flowing through my veins. Maybe in the USA at least it should be, since it's so significant. I've actually heard this in the usa, but not anywhere around where I live, even if most of my friends are atheists. Personally, it feels like people prefer it when it's not their fault. If you wait to 12 most will pick without knowing shit abt their religion still and then feel like idiots if they regret it later or somewhat bound to their choice. In my experience, the people that baptised later that I knew did it because everyone was baptised or for gifts and later on regretted it more than anyone I've ever known that was baptised as a kid and later on became an atheist. Even when I was a Christian I was as neutral to it as with having been born. It just happened.
in orthodox christianity, at least the russian wing, the baptism is literally submerging a baby under water. youre not the butthole, but im biased as you see
Maybe it's how I was raised. But essentially if I had a kid dating another kid, I think it'd be kinda funny to book them separate rooms, on opposite sides of mine. I don't think it makes sense to force kids to be apart (they're just gonna sneak around, it's better to be aware and safe imho.). But it doesn't mean I'm not gonna mess with them a lil bit. :3
2:45 Def not the asshole, tho I would try to find more methods beyond just cooking at home, since she may not have time to do so and is why they have TV dinners all the time in the first place. I’d wanna help her find alternatives that also save time.
On the first one, i bet the mom felt like op was going her parenting and shaming her for mot cooking. I dont think thats at all op's intentions, but it could definitely come off that way. I think the mom just needs a few days to think about it and simmer down
If my family was passively watching someone to call me a sexy baby without saying something, I would no longer be seeing them. Being “hands off” isn’t an excuse. That’s just messed up
I think with the two babysitting stories, its definitely ESH (though with the first one, the babysitter is much less of an AH, and Bo isn't an AH/OP is the bigger AH in the second one).
It's one thing for literally judging someone for what they feed their kid, if it's not bothering anyone. It's another to be like, "hey, your kid is saying the food you and the school are giving her are making her feel sick. The food I fed her all week gave her no issues. I think she has allergies to some of the food."
as someone who works with kids (has ever since highschool) i was on the babysitter’s side for a bit bcs it’s totally on the parents that they hired someone with no experience whatsoever when they have a kid with special needs, but i changed my mind because of the absolute lack of effort
I don’t think the babysitter one is an AH. Why would her parents even allow her to babysit at night but regardless if it was agreed upon then she should most definitely be alert. I don’t think teens should be baby sitting at night anyway though.
@theMyRadiowasTaken What is he meant to do? Most people would be lucky to afford a babysitter, it's not like everyone is rolling in it enough to afford a live-in nanny.
He literally said he hired her because she was baby sitting his coworkers kids, it's because she is known and trusted among his circles. I don't think teens should be baby sitting either, but I can understand why someone would want to hire someone they trust instead of a complete stranger.
Hello Savannah! I hope that you're doing well. I love your shirt. Also, If I got called a "sexy baby" by anyone, I would have recorded it, and I would have said that they're a pedophile for thinking that babies are sexy. Then, I would have turned those recordings into the police and got that person arrested. It's extremely disgusting that this "term" exists. Please let it die. I love you always and forever💖💖💖💖😘😘😘😘
Yup My reply to that story was how to shut the SIL up for good by going "you think I'm a sexy baby? Why do you think babies are sexy? Are you sexually attracted to me cos you think I look like a baby? Why are you sexualising babies?" And just keep going lowkey pdf shaming them until they never say a single word to you ever again
as gross as the term is, i DON'T think someone can be arrested for it- especially since apparently it's a reference to a character from a show called 30 Rock. It's still an increadibly weird and uncomfortable term.
@@tweedlebug123 I agree with you. But the people (who worked on that show) should have never made it a phrase. I would have fired the script writers if I was their boss
There was a woman that i was friends with as a kid and we kind of became friends as adults. When i was pregnant and found out i was having a boy and announced the name on fb, she went off her nut. She wasnt even pregnant at the time. She was like you stole my baby name. She ended up having a boy as well and named her kid the same name as mine, but the first letter is different. We stopped being friends after that
@@gh0stpuppi333sweetie... not *everyone* uses the same word for everything 😱😱 The word plaster in some places means something completely different, and if a person just happens to have not come across it being used differently, it doesn't mean that they are either 10 or stupid. 🙄🙄
@@gh0stpuppi333 lol HOW many languages do you speak?? this is likely someone with english as a second language. shame on you for shaming someone who likely knows more than you overall.
I have no knowledge whatsoever of the show and episode in question but your comment makes me curious, would you be willing to explain it? Just whatever is contextually important obviously, not the whole show.
@@roselover411 yeah, in the episode they are hiring a new writer and when she shows up shes dressed like a supposed "sexy baby", liz is appalled at her behavior and keeps trying to "fix" or "help" her and finds an old clip of her doing stand-up from before she stared acting like a "sexy baby" and shows it to the writers room, turns our she changed her voice and appearance to escape her crazy ex and she seeks male attention because she feels safer when they are around. so basically liz got herself involved in another girls situation that she didnt even begin to understand then ended up puttingher life in danger
yea. i'm 156cm (which is about 5'1") and have a small chest.. i always get mistaken for being WAY younger than i actually look and it's really frustrating. sometimes i feel like men only find me attractive because i "look like a teenager". i even have been called a "loli" by one guy in my old class, which by the way is not even a joke. those people really exist
16:45 most colleges in the states don’t allow opposite genders stay in a dorm together or to have sleepovers. However, that isn’t the problem here I think that it’s definitely unreasonable to push that on someone if you haven’t placed rules
17:00 haha oh man this one is relatable. this past june my boyfriend's family invited me to go with them on their family vacation to orlando, florida. i am currently unemployed, which they are aware of, so they agreed to take on most expenses. i was not allowed to be alone in a room with my boyfriend at all on the trip. i am 23, he is 22, and we have been together for 3 years. his parents are hardcore christians-just like the lady in this story, so they got 2 separate hotel/condo rooms to segregate the males and females. there were only 2 men at the start of the trip (his uncle and sisters boyfriend joined in the later half) and 4 women. it was a stressful experience at some points, to say the least. this was my first big introduction to most of his family 😭
I have a whole bunch of allergies and I think people miss that some foods have a lot of histamines in them. Anything stored, fermented, etc... it's like a histamine bonanza. So fresh cooked food is less painful. It's a pain in the arse, but you can eat small amounts of these foods the better you stick to low histamine foods as there are fewer in your system. For years I just felt sick and had nausea, and then I started getting acid issues. The nausea got worse and I had to keep taking antacids until I was stuck on it daily. Eventually, it went from a burning in my chest to out of control. It felt like it came out of nowhere but I had just normalised the earlier symptoms from people telling me to get over it. Eat what you are given. Stop being picky. You can't feel sick every time you eat! The next level was GERD. Extremely violent vomiting, pain so bad I couldn't stay silent, probably didn't help after years of nausea I was emetophobic. I was going days where I was barely managing slices of apple. I eventually found my way to immunology, and accepted a safe drink of milk was now poison to me out of what felt like nowhere. In the beginning, though I reacted very badly anytime I tried to cheat. However, it's worth it as now I can eat and not feel sick. My hair has also grown over a foot longer than my previous terminal length. Don't just meh a child feeling sick when given the same kind of food over and over.
I agree that there's a difference regarding the baby names. Like you can’t reserve a name, but if she did it like the story where the OP was infertile and her sister used her baby name so it wasn't "wasted", then she would be a complete ass.
I'm only on the babysitters side because it shouldn't be expected that a teenage girl will just know how to take care of children. Or that taking care of children has a one solution. Additionally I'm appalled that she wasn't given any instructions about the kids beside, "let the older child, sit and do whatever in their room and only focus on the young one" Like sure I'm not going to actively take care of more grown child, the older the kids the more its about just being there to make sure they don't get hurt/feeding them good food. I babysat a similar situation. I just can't sit here and judge an 18 year-old for not immediately knowing how to be the adult in the room when its their first time maybe doing that in this capacity. Especially when you have a child that might have a full on melt down if you touch them or interact with too much, because you're new and its a lot of change happening. Her language towards the kids to me is just a by-product of being young. I was much more spiteful towards kids when I was younger too. it took me some time to learn and comprehend that kids are growing and not being annoying to actively bother me.
20:05 as a support worker, if the child in question is able to communicate his needs then yta, if not, then the parents are the AH for not giving you enough information, about the kid. either way its the kids who take the brunt of this
5:25 I'm the younger in the family and my siblings already have families and children. My brother names her first daughter literally my favourite name that I wished to give one day to give to a possible daughter, he did not know plus I was still underage when that happen, but even if I was a bit upset I personally I'm happy in the end and love my niece, I can understand tho being a bit upset about it but demanding it to change seem a bit too much imo
I don’t agree on the babysitter one. He isn’t an AH. I started babysitting at 14, including overnight and I made damn sure I woke up when I heard the children wake up or cry or something because that’s what I was paid to do! Imagine if there was an emergency what then? She would’ve slept right through it? Parents hire babysitter to…babysit and make sure their children are okay not to be so fast asleep they don’t even hear them
i get the feeling babysitting story OP wasn't as kind about asking the babysitter to set alarms as he wants us to think. because the story reads as "oh i just said this cant happen again so maybe try setting alarms pwetty pwease and then she got hurt and my wife got so mad at me ):" like are u sure u didnt snap at her or something?
Re: Sexy baby sister in law: Well, if your brother always takes her side, and your family is hands off, then put her in the trunk of your car. Your family shouldn't care after all, because they don't get involved in private matters between just the two of you.
Is there any chance you'd talk about the upcoming execution of an autistic man, for a crime that all experts - and the original lead investigator and one of the expert witnesses - now agree never even happened? Robert Roberson is scheduled to die on 17th October for the death of his daughter in 2002. The judge who signed off on the scheduling is retired, and did not offer him a hearing despite all evidence pointing to the truth that his daughter died of medical negligence and complications relating to an infection. All details of the case can be found on the innocence project website and it's a truly harrowing example of injustice and discrimination.
On the first one, I kinda think OP isn't completely not in the wrong. Suggesting that the child needs allergy testing is good, but assuming it's a preservative and telling the mom she needs to cook is too far. It could be celiac or lactose intolerance or an allergy to something other than a preservative. She should have just told her what happened and suggested allergy testing and left it at that.
10:06 30 Rock was a great series the “Sexy baby” woman turnes out that she was putting an act with a new name and trying to make lots of make “male friends” to put a whole distance of her dangerous ex. She felt more at control telling people she was cute and small and need protection. All the men coworkers sides with her and she was in control of the boundaries. It’s an interesting take but she wasn’t even a short person just a regular woman acting extra cutesy
I'm unsure, but for the dorm one, is co-ed allowed? To put personal morals aside, I believe the boyfriend and girlfriend would get into trouble if it was found her boyfriend stayed in the dorm, right?
The height thing, I totally get this but the other way as a tall woman. Getting called a man or a tree because I am tall like I chose it. Sucks to be them, I love being tall and like to look down at all the peasants.
Tbh while the last one was not acting great, but the real AH's are the parents who just left their children with basically another child without proper instruction. Chances are she honestly never encountered an autistic child before, no wonder she has no idea how to handle the situation
the babysitter WAS in the wrong in the len and bo story but so was the mom who hired her. it's fucking insane to hire an 18 year old with no babysitting experience to babysit TWO children with special needs. you can't just leave a 5 and 10 year old alone with a stranger who has no qualifications or experience and expect it to go well. you especially can't do it if you don't even give the babysitter any directions on how to handle said special needs. i wouldn't leave an 18 year old with no experience around children alone with any children, let alone a 5 and 10 year old. i've babysat my cousins before and no one was ok with leaving me alone in the house with any of them until i showed them that i was capable of doing anything i would need to like preparing a meal and comforting them and changing diapers when they were young enough. and this mom didn't even check to see if this babysitter was even capable of interacting with her 5 year old appropriately before leaving them alone. insane.
The first one. OP's SIL is so insanely jealous of OP. I have a SIL (er, had. I was found NTA on mine issue) one just like her. OP should up her game and keep dressing how she wants, but make sure to go all out when she sees her SIL.
As a parent, I have a completely different take on the first story. Cooking foods that your kids will eat for every meal is HARD. I'm guessing this mother was very concerned for her daughter but wasn't sure what to do, and the way this woman seemed to think that she had solved the problem overnight and diagnosed her with allergies (??) and told her she needs to cook would come off as REALLY condescending and implies that she doesn't take care of her kids and that OP is a better mom. I don't know how anyone would react any other way than to feel insulted. Feeling that someone is calling you a bad parent causes immediate primal rage. My youngest was really picky when I met him (I'm step-mom), but he soon realized he likes all kinds of foods, just not steak or pork, which his dad likes to cook a lot. I switched to protein pasta because he was really small for his age and made some other changes like brown rice instead of white. The older kid watched some food documentaries and suddenly vegan except for seafood and some baked goods as long as they didn't know what was in them (I never tricked them or anything, I mean stuff from the store or at their friends' houses). My husband likes meat and fruit, I like meat and vegetables. So I'm cooking vats of beans an rice and piles of pasta and then roasting some pork or cooking some steaks and fish when we can afford it.... Oh yeah and my husband apparently has a dairy allergy, and the youngest is apparently lactose intolerant so we have to get oat milk now, but he will shove entire babybel cheeses into his mouth.... My husband used to give them some chicken, some frozen vegetable, and maybe some pasta before heading out to his 12 hour long night shift as a paramedic, and then get home just in time to give them some cereal and take them to school. So yeah, saying that it's EASY to cook healthy meals for your kids all the time raises my hackles just a bit.
If you have a child that has extra needs, you need to tell your babysitter what those needs are and how to handle common occurrences with said child.
I wish I didn't have similar stories from when I was 18, but the amount of moms of 5yo who have special needs who will leave them with literally any 18yo.... its a pattern for sure. You can't be mad at an untrained babysitter for not knowing how to handle these situations.
Yeah, that one had me 50/50. Calling the kid constantly sucks (particularly for the truck since that IS something you can figure out yourself), but this is an 18-year-old that doesn't know how the kid is gonna react to stuff. I'd be pretty cautious too after the mac-n-cheese thing, and that's as someone with autism myself. Is a mostly-stranger touching them or their stuff going to set them off? What does the kid want to eat if they refuse to tell you? Don't know if they tried to talk things through before calling the brother the other times, but they specifically said they did with the fig bars and Bo just huffed. Parents are the assholes for not giving any information prior and Len is a casualty to an inexperienced babysitter's ignorance.
Using their actual names was a dick move though. As was calling him spoiled for not liking being called to help constantly. Parentifying is a very different phenomenon than what was happening there imo, but it's still annoying as shit. Len was right to be annoyed and OP was directing their own annoyance at the wrong person.
@@cassilac4510when i was 13 i was hired to babysit a nonverbal 8yo with Downs syndrome and never told the special household rules (but the 40something mother flipped at her 4yo and 7yo for not sharing the rules)
Agreed. I'm level 2 autistic and my parents never briefed babysitters or teachers on my care needs, so people often felt forced to ask my brother for help with my care when I did not have the means to vocalize why I was in pain. I now have no relationship with my brother. It's not fair to either child.
The OP definitely did some things wrong, but the parents are the worst here for not briefing a caretaker on how to care for their disabled child.
@@babashanko5358 yeah like the babysitter was absolutely in the wrong too but it's more of an esh situation (except for the children). like idk i'm autistic too and have low support needs but i would ALSO have freaked out about a stranger giving me food i dont like and touching me for any reason as a 5 year old. i think most of the blame belongs with the parents for even choosing an inexperienced 18 year old to babysit their children in the first place and seemingly not even briefing her on what to expect and how to react including absolute basics like what the kids will eat.
So many of these posts are either "AITA for standing up to abuse?" or "AITA for being an abuser?" and it hurts that too many people genuinly do not realize this.
Why did the parents of the teenager let her take an overnight babysitting job? All of the adults involved are irresponsible.
I took overnight babysitting jobs when I was a teenager, only on non-school nights, but the youngest was 4 not 9 months
that's the root issue but still if she's in the care of a baby that needs to be taken care of at night, of course the dad will ask her to please make sure she wakes up to take care of the helpless infant.
The “sexy baby” thing is sexual harassment and misogynistic, even if it’s not coming from a place of sexual attraction it’s coming from a place of passive sexual power. She’s bullying other women for not being “normal” or “mature” because it makes her feel secure in her place in the patriarchal pecking order.
unrelated, but this comment is written beautifully.
Seriously! Like, I.....apologise? for being 5' tall? What am I actually supposed to DO, go back in time, use genetic engineering techniques that _didn't even exist yet_ on my unborn self, and then show back up as a 5'6" woman? Like WTF?
It's almost as if human beings are different heights, or something....!
(Also if this SIL knew just how LITTLE I _care_ about my "value" in the "sexual marketplace" or the patriarchal pecking order, I think it'd blow up her brain. Not all women are constantly thinking about men, if they're attractive enough to men, and what men think about them. Some women are just trying to get through their damn day.)
@@Wonderoddity u seem chill imma subscribe to u. thank you so much i really appreciate it :3!!!!1
@@TeagueisTrash aw! You’re so sweet, but you don’t need to sub. The only thing I ever post is edits lol
@@Wonderoddity I’d like to see em! Ur really pretty btw!! Do u got like twitter or snap or discord? 🤷♀️
I was very briefly on the babysitter's side for the story with the autistic kid... very briefly.
She shouldn't have been put in charge of two neurodivergent kids without comprehensive instructions and emergency guidance available. Hell, they probably shouldn't use untrained babysitters period for that combo of needs.
But making everything the older kid's problem? Being cruel to him? Calling him spoiled??
She's too young and inexperienced to babysit neurodivergent kids, but she's definitely old enough to know better than to talk sh*t about literal children.
The thing is, I feel like she was briefed but decided to ignore it… like she barely interacted with the kids until she fed them. I feel bad for the mom though since she’s probably getting a lot of shit for recommending her daughter
I was on the sitter’s side for the first one, because a meal feels like something the sibling probably knows and is a more complicated than the others. But once it came to putting together a fire truck or putting a Band-Aid on, you are an adult about to go to college, you should be able to handle that much.
"Sexy baby" story:
You shut the SIL up for good by going "you think I'm a sexy baby? Why do you think babies are sexy? Are you sexually attracted to me cos you think I look like a baby? Why are you sexualising babies?" And just keep going lowkey pdf shaming them until they never say a single word to you ever again
I really wish the world worked like that, but, that will probably just make everything worse. SIL is unhinged and manipulative af. Poking that kind of person with a stick over and over will not make them shut up, more the opposite.
@@WolfgangDoW Silence fake man
Imagine being paid for babysiting, making 10 y/o to do your job and then calling him spoiled and incompetent. I feel so bad for that's girl future collegues.
Why do I get the feeling 'sexy baby' SIL might be secretly attracted to OP, and is having issues processing that? Like, when she thinks it's inappropriate for a shorter woman to wear a swimsuit to a pool party of all places I think someone is uncomfortably questioning their heterosexuality. What else is OP supposed to wear in a pool, a hazmat suit or something?
Or she just hates women different than her. If you hear hoofbeats, think horses not zebras.
Yup
Why reply to that story was how to shut the SIL up for good by going "you think I'm a sexy baby? Why do you think babies are sexy? Are you sexually attracted to me cos you think I look like a baby? Why are you sexualising babies?" And just keep going lowkey pdf shaming them until they never say a single word to you ever again
Could be she is just jealous of her.
Yall always try to psycho analyze and always fail
@@Joe-iq1buaight
5:40 Bruh….she ALREADY HAD THE KID. These people are being so rude. Like, also, if she has a LIST, she can choose another one. As Kiwi said, unless it was something she knew and actively took it, Def not the a hole at all.
I think even if OP knew it was on her list, I don't see anything really wrong with it (unless she really only had that *one* boy name on it). The sister doesn't own the name and if OP likes it too, why should OP bend to sister's will and not the other way around? Does OP have to avoid every single name that is on a close relatives baby name list?
And as you said. It's a list implying that are more names on it.. plus it's not guaranteed that sister will ever have kids or have a son in particular. OP's son is here now and therefore has more right to the name than a child that might never be born or gets a different name from the list anyway.
I definitely want more details on this because Finnick isn't exactly a super common name, so it makes me wonder if her sister has talked about wanting to use that name and gave her the idea and that's why she's so mad. It's hard with AITA stories because you usually only get the heavily filtered perspective of the one telling the story. I had unique names picked out for my kids and happily told them to anyone who asked, never knowing this whole 'stealing names' thing was a thing. It was thankfully never an issue for me, but if her sister was the same, I can very much see her being very upset about it, even if it was one of a few names she had saved. It being something that unique, rather than like Chris or John, also makes me wonder if the AITA storyteller isn't giving the whole story.
@@borealernadelwald imo even if the sister really liked the name, since she is not in a relationship and doesnt have plans to get pregnant soon, there's no need for the whole drama. There can be two kids in the family named Finnick if they are born 10 years apart or something (I generally dont get the whole "I want to name my kid this name but it's taken" and I'm one of those kids, my parents had liked a name when they were pregnant with me but a really close family friend was also pregnant and wanted to name their kid with the same name so my parents let her have the name and we're not even related; then my parents named me something that wasnt very common at the time but it turns out a lot of parents thought the name is not very common and now i have a relatively common name, always had at least one more kid in my class with the same name at school)
19:33 What i also really hate about this one is that she calls Len spoiled and a bad older brother. Siblings of neuro divergent or disabled kids are often overlooked and in the shadow. Their parents are busy caring for the sibling and most of the parents' attention will focus on the sibling. The poor boy probably already had to step back a lot of times in the past.
And the brother had ADHD as well. Sadly, there are also plenty of cases where the child in a home with multiple neurodivergent children who is deemed "least disabled" by their disability is neglected and parentified. In some cases, this can lead to the "least" disabled child feeling more disabled by their disability due to a lack of accomodations. This child's struggles are then percieved as an act to demand attention and are severely punished.
It happened to my brother and I growing up and it destroyed our relationship with each other. I haven't spoken to him in almost a decade.
Yea the one about the plaster broke me. Like he's autistic, he's not a feral animal, you can just ask him if it's ok to put it. It's yet again another time people learn someone is disabled and suddenly forget how to treat human beings. Autistic ppl are still people. But yeah big yikes for the parents for not telling the babysitter what his safe foods are. I feel like if you have an autistic child that should be communicated, so that's on the parents but I feel like if you're gonna freeze up after encountering literally one issue with a child regardless if that child is autistic or not you shouldn't take care of children, and that's ok, not everyone is cut out for that but then you can't really blame the other child, cuz if they were the one responsible for dealing with their brother they wouldn't need a babysitter. Also treat disabled people like people, sincerely a disabled person
13:11 Not an inherently a bad idea, but how fucking late are they babysitting??? The entire night? I don’t understand. I wouldn’t want my baby just left crying either, but also…if that isn’t waking them they must be SUPER tired. Which is another concern altogether. If they have to work the entire night….don’t hire a student.
Edit: How hard are they being worked that they are so tired? How long are they babysitting? Why can’t you find someone who is more equipped of you will reprimand at one mistake?
If this wasn’t someone who is also in school and this just IS there job, it wouldn’t be as jerky an ask.
I know, those were my exact thoughts too. I don't think she was at fault just for asking the babysitter to pay attention when the baby cries. However, if they knew the babysitter had school the next day, the parents should've hired someone more qualified for that level of responsibility
@@morargsara ya, we don't know what's going on in there life like if she wasn't informed both kids had issue's it might have seemed like the older one was being a jerk on purpose i'm thinking the mom lied and said there kids were perfect and didn't need any "special" care
19:33 The second she said that she thought babysitting would be easy just shows she had zero experience with being around kids let alone kids with special needs. The sister & family were right to be upset with her because she absolutely parentified a child because she couldn't be bothered to help a child & do simple tasks like helping them with their toys, put a band-aid on a cut, or calming them down when they upset. Yes, she should have been briefed beforehand as that may have helped. However the way she just immediately calls for Len rather than talking to Bo rubs the wrong way because I have ADHD & I know exactly what it feels like that be treated like I'm not capable of understanding things or talked about while in the room like I'm not there which is what she did to Bo. Rather than asking him she just probably assumed that since he's autistic he can't understand anything around him. Heck even if he was nonverbal she could have still found a way to communicate with him but she didn't
My husband (we were married for 21 years) passed away in January. Our oldest (19m) was in college, he chose to drop that semester (it was due to start 2 days after his dad died) and move home for a bit until things calmed down, he says it was to help me, but really i think he just needed to be HOME for a while after losing his dad.
He was a HUGE help with his siblings (16f, 14nb, 11f, 9f & 6m) and I'm eternally grateful (he ran errands occasionally or dropped siblings at whatever or picked up from day care if I got held up at work...I did/do 90% of the cleaning and 100% of the cooking). But when fall came and it was time for school to start back up I wished him well and sent him on his way.
It's 100% MY JOB to parent my kids (him included) and we're doing ok.
That lady needs to not hold her kid back.
Not gonna lie though, I'm looking forward to my son coming home next summer, not because I want a helper, just because I like having all my birds in the nest 😉
That's the sign of a kind hearted child, you and your husband did a great job in raising him
@ShadowKamehameha32 thank you. He's an amazing kid. Sometimes, it blows my mind. He worked over that time he was home at my job (gas station) and all my coworkers adore him and begged me not to let him leave 😉 because he's a good worker and just a good guy.
I'm sorry for your loss, and it seems like you and your husband raised a great young man. Stepping up for one's family during a hard time is very different from being forced to shoulder the responsibility of younger siblings due to parental neglect. I wish the very best for y'all ❤
As a parent with a 20 and 22 yr old, I understand the birds being in the nest thing in a way I never did before. You can be a supportive parent, wanting them to go out and live their lives and have a good time, and still miss having them around. I never expected to enjoy when the 22 yr old is back home and they are both here at the same time as much as I do. Even if she's just hanging out in another room or coming by after work and taking a nap here before she goes home (I do not know why she does this, but I do think it's cute and am glad she feels comfortable here). It just feels so nice. So yeah, just wanted to say how much I understand that exact wording, because I too love having all of my birds in the nest.
7:40 5ft tall female and generally femme person here. (I’m NB). Luckily haven’t run into it too much, but omg when it does happen. Too many people think we act like kids, and like…I’m just being comfortable, like pastels, and am autistic so am viewed as “childish” sometimes.
All women get infantilised tbh, but yeah it's worse if you're short or neurodivergent. It's disgusting and wrong in all cases still
same here. it really makes me uncomfortable
this 😭 i’m the same height but i’m trans ftm, and it’s an absolute nightmare- no one ever takes me seriously
I'm 5'1 my best friend, bf, and friend group are all taller than me. I was always called cutesy. Baby hands, whatever. Stopped after I ripped up a tree and was watched working horses. Now it's Valkyrie build 🤣it was a nightmare in middle school and high school. Apparently being shirt makes it hard to tell what gender you are too. 🙄
@@captainshiloh831 lmao fake man
One thing i don't understand is why can't the older still use Finnick if she really wanted to? I'm assuming they don't live with each other, so it wouldn't confuse the kids, Could nickname one of them finn, for when they are both in the same room, if she really wants the name as well. My mom married my step dad and he had kids from another marriage, my sister and my steps-sister both have the name kylie, (spilt diffrently) they just added their middle names, like i can think of ways if the older sister really wanted the name.
I have a first cousin with the same first name as mine, and it's never been an issue. I don't understand why these people get so worked up about it.
I grew up with an autistic sister, and that one story about the two brothers pissed me off so badly. Siblings of people with things like autism are often parentified to an extreme degree. I was expected to help raise my sister and IM YOUNGER THAN HER (by 4 years). I can't imagine how bad it would be if you're also older.
My needs were treated as though they were always inherently less important than hers because I wasn't diagnosed with autism, and I never really got the emotional support I needed, so call me crazy for saying there's almost no way he's as spoiled as you said he was.
Expecting children to do chores is fine, that's pretty normal. Expecting children to help you raise other children while they are themselves still a child is insane.
I'm going to hell bc the "sexy baby" thing is so fucked up but I'm laughing bc all I can think of is the Game Grumps "I'm a sexy widdle baby" bit
Bo and Len's babysitter story: Everybody sucks here! Well, the OP and the parents suck. The kids are just kids. Firstly, the parents suck because they didn't inform OP of what should be done about Bo. Also, kids with special needs really should be watched by somebody with experience or (better yet) somebody who's been trained for it. Especially when they're young! I should know, I work with special needs children ages 5-8. OP said something about "I thought it wouldn't be a problem because he's young" but it's exactly the opposite. The younger they are, the more difficult they are. Which then brings us around to why OP sucks. Instead of trying to figure out what to do herself, she immediately called upon Len every time. So yes, she DID parentify him to some extent because of that. I know from experience that autistic kids can react unpredictably to certain things, so I understand that it can be stressful trying to figure out what to do. But that's literally what she's being paid for! Which then brings us back around to why the parents suck here.
@WiloKun
According to the sister (her reply is at 22:04 if you want to read it) her mother would have told OP about how to take care of Bo and Len's disabilities because they usually do and that OP called Len a bad brother and incompetence to his face. Honestly the reply changes everything so it's worth a read.
Would you consider reading the other comments on a post?? I'm always curious what others have to say on different posts.
Yes! I posted this in another video. I would very much like to see some of the other comments and to know the results of what the community voted on these.
For the baby sitting story, he is the ah because he hired a teenager. Technically (depending where she lives) its illegal to make kids work over a certain time/past a certain time, part of that time being night time. If he wanted someone who will be up every hour he should have hired a professional instead of a teenager whos doing it and most likely has school to deal with too. Dont cheap out on childcare if you care about your children
Edit: same with the autistic kid. If someone has NO experience with autistic/adhd kids they have no place babysitting them. You shouldn't have to rely on another kid to babysit a kid
10:40 I'm petit and I'm constantly being patronized and belittled (no pun intended)
20:59 this person clearly had no patience to babysit but also shame on the parents for yeah. Not giving literally any information on the youngests triggers or sensory issues. and a brother should be able to be a brother! A child! Not a parent :) Glad the older sister put her in her place!! and all of us actually lol.
According to the half sister’s reply, the parents did inform the babysitter about their disabled children’s needs.
13:05 What? That is a learning experience. If a 16 year old accepts a job to work over night, mind you there doing it by choice, you would expect said teen to actually monitor your child. And from what I heard he didn't yell at her, he talked to her calmly.
The shirt says "WHY BE RACIST, SEXIST, HOMOPHOBIC, OR TRANSPHOBIC WHEN YOU COULD JUST BE QUIET"
Idk i spent 1 minute not focusing on her talking cus i had to know what was written on the shirt
Same, Lmao. I couldn’t get the bottom part, so thanks! Totally cross stitching this on a sign.
@@ErutaniaRoseyou can see it for a little bit right at the beginning when her arms are raised :)
Thank you!
Why is your kind so obsessed with policing other people’s speech? 😂 grow a thicker skin
@@Joe-iq1bu erm.... dude r u sure u commented on the right comment cus u r pretty outta content here ngl
Trying to imagine what my 23 yr old would say if I told him he needed to come home to look after his 19 and 17 yr old brothers 😂😂
People really don't believe me when I say I don't want kids because I don't have a maternal bone in my body, I don't like kids, I would NOT be good raising them because I don't know how to be around them.......... But when the babysitter one came around I was like, "NTA just throw food at them and let them solve their own shit out. Idk" and apparently that's the wrong answer LOL LIKE, Y'ALL, THIS IS EXACTLY WHY I SAY I DON'T WANT KIDS. I AM NOT MATERNAL.
Its not really about being maternal hahaha imagine it like this: you are hanging out somewhere and someone is payed there to take care of the place and instead of doing it they make you do it and then they are also mean to you about it? Thats the situation here. Not only is she bad at her job she is also mean
this isn't funny and moms aren't born knowing how to handle children either. maybe try having some compassion
@@ishathakor so don't have one if they can't handle one
i don’t want children either but this here is not the flex you think it is
@@mmmmmmmmariathis isn't about not wanting kids, this is about the fact I am genuinely terrible with them and no one seems to believe me. The point I am stressing OVER and OVER to people is, "do not entrust your child to me. Do not put them in the same room as me. Do not expect I will do a good job minding it."
There's a lot of people who don't want kids but are still good with kids. I'm not one of them.
And I am very tired of people expecting that I likely am, or I should be. Just keep the things away from me.
16:52 I can actually answer this one. I grew up in a very evangelical christian home and this is one of those odd behaviors that seems very weird looking in. it has to do with culpability. In many of these christian's eyes, what people are doing when they are not around is on them and they will have to answer for judgement, but if they are around and are capable of preventing "sin", then they could be culpable for that "sin" for not stepping up to prevent it if they do not do so. Is it biblical? Not really, but it's something that's developed in many christian circles and not just the super evangelical ones
Can confirm as a very Fundie kid. It's a case of 'what you do is your business but if I'm providing a home, finances, then I have the authority to determine how that's used because it's my money and my home.' And that's with the idea that sin could be on HER (mother's) shoulders, as if she's agreeing with behaviour I am doing that she considers sinful. So if I'm having sex without her knowledge (which I am), that's my thing. But if I invited my man over and had sex under the roof, that means she's essentially giving the go ahead to something she morally disagrees with and she doesn't want the culpability of that on her shoulders. She won't accept or agree with something she considers to be sinful.
Aka if I want to have sex with my man, we dutch split funds for love hotels and do it without her knowledge. Because I certainly can't be with him in our home because the house is run on a strict moral ground. And if I don't like it, the answer is (irrespective of my personal funds, I LITERALLY can't afford it in a rental crisis): "move out of home"
God's way or the highway, there's no leeway or compromise or gradient. Very strict and there's Terms & Conditions to her home, her finances, even though I'm a 28 year old adult.
People often misconstrue things because they say, "but you're an adult, she can't tell you what to do" because they see it as a parent-child thing. It's not. It's a RELIGIOUS thing, and RELIGION comes with a code of conduct that I follow to the letter. So she gives me full permission to live the life I want, so long as I move out of home, dissociate from her, not receive provisions from her, because the ONLY code of conduct allowed from me is that which aligns with fundamentalist evangelical Christianity. I am not allowed to exist *outside* of that because it's sinful.
In the music festival one, she paid for both tickets out of pocket, and the brother is acting entitled for the ticket money after bailing. It’s clarified in further posts that it was her money to begin with, and he went into her account to take her money, and she got the bank to get it back. That’s what the brother meant by taking money.
10:58 thank you so much, its not a common struggle to have but there’s much more on top of this that irks me. its rare i see anyone talking abt the issues of being skinny (mainly physical and psychological) im no where near the ideal body type despite being thin. its something i actively dislike abt myself, trust, everyone’s bodies are different and react differently to gaining/loosing weight. despite trying everything since age 7 to up weight it hasn’t changed, its hard. in both directions, gaining and losing weight is different for everyone and some really struggle. perpetuating stereotypes like this onto ppl who very well could’ve tried everything to change bc they want u to be happy is horrible.
tldr: u cannot make everyone happy, especially when it’s near impossible to meet the standard. love yourself for u and no one else, especially over things u can’t change. the ppl who were meant to love u will find their way to u and accept u as u are
Damn thanks for this I needed to hear that
Chiming in on the “sexy baby” one, my best friend is 4’9” and she literally only fits in kids clothes. Like she is limited to buying kids clothes and shoes because nothing else fits her. She’s 25 and has never been able to wear “adult” clothes so I feel for the OP
With the whole ‘sexy baby’ post, i’m a short woman, not quite as short (~5 foot), but still short nonetheless. Since everyone I know is significantly taller than me I have to deal with constant remarks about my height and have been made to feel like shit for it ever since I was in secondary school. I wouldn’t say i’m extremely petite and skinny, i have curvier hips and thighs, but I have a smaller chest and my upper body is pretty skinny and small. Because of this, i was constantly being harassed about my small chest by men and being made to feel like i’m less of a woman. I already get brushed to the side and ignored because people can physically look over me, so in crowd situations i’m just kicked around like a football, in queues people have no issue barging in front of me, and nobody ever takes me seriously when i’m angry making comments about “oh, you’re such an angry baby” and mocking me by pretending to throw a tantrum and laughing at me. I will NEVER be taken as seriously as taller women. That’s not to take away from the issues tall women face, my closest friend is ~6 foot and i see the struggles she faces daily. But I’m viewed as more of a spectacle. As entertainment. Nobody views me as a woman, i’m viewed as a child in every sense of the word. I cannot like silly little things like Hello Kitty and Cinnamoroll, I cannot have plushies or dress a bit more childishly. This makes it all worse. It makes the borderline bullying a lot worse. My taller friends can like and do these things more freely (yes they still get the odd comment from men), but the moment i do, i’m ‘pandering to p*dos’. I cannot exist happily in my own body. I have hoped so many times I’d have a growth spurt to be taller, so I can finally be taken seriously. The one thing i never really thought about until the age of 13-14 has become my biggest insecurity. I hate my height so much for the issues it causes me. To people, i’m no more than a glorified child, just a little doll to be passed around a bullied and treated like crap.
I feel for the short girl on such a deep level. As a VERY short guy I fully understand how disheartening it is when people treat you differently but "sexy baby" is next level unhinged.. who tf says that?? I've wondered if short girls get the same treatment as short guys and I guess this answers that :/
for story 1, even if the mom is genuinely too busy to cook for her child, a 7th grader is usually old enough to handle some amounts of home cooking as long as they have been taught how to do it safely. my mom did cook for us most of the time, but some days when i was home alone i would cook myself some pasta with fried sausages so i wouldnt always need to eat readymade meals and leftovers or just rely on snacks like toast and fruit.
it might seem extreme to just put the responsibility of cooking for herself onto sara, but if there genuinely is no other option for her to get homemade meals, i think it could work in a situation like hers
I've never even heard of the "sexy baby" thing. That's messed up!
That last one made my blood boil! That mother should not have had children if she didn't want to take care of them.
Ok. The babysitting story got me upset on its own. As someone who has Autism, I KNOW the struggles. AND I HAVE OLDER SIBLINGS that had to deal with my different ways of living. And THEY HAVE DISABILITIES as well. Some more hidden then others.
...So when I heard that the babysitter not only forced the older brother to become the parent...but the older brother had a disability himself and he was OVERLY SELF CONTIOUS over how he feels about being an older brother to his Autistic younger brother...
...Ooooh, I want to find that babysitter and...force her to eat crappy canned mac & cheese!
7:55 thank you for giving the context, actually googling it for context seems like something that'd get you on a watch list
i found the post on r/aita (whew, had to be SPECIFIC when phrasing that google search) and apparently the (WEIRD) term is in reference to a specific character on a show called 30 Rock who essentially fetishized herself through self-infantilization. Talking in baby voice, etc. Still, weird to accuse a grown but short woman just trying to be an adult of that. I wonder if SIL is jealous of OP's appearance and is trying to shame her into associating dressing in anyway feminine or attractive as inevitably being the """"""sexy baby"""" that she's not allowed to dress in a way that makes her feel attractive because her appearance is just doomed to be that of a child's....again WEIRD
i dont think i've ever been this early but im so happy this one actually loaded in the other aita video's havent been loading for me recently on your chanel :] nmm
i'm 156cm (which is about 5'1") and have a small chest.. i always get mistaken for being WAY younger than i actually look and it's really frustrating. sometimes i feel like men only find me attractive because i "look like a teenager". i even have been called a "loli" by one guy in my old class, which by the way is not even a joke. those people really exist
edit: i honestly wish people would talk about this kind of stuff more because even in things like porn, small women (thin, barely any chest) ALWAYS get categorized as "legal teen" "barely legal" and more such things despite being an adult (i'm talking 20+ year old). it's really disgusting...
Short women who get treated like kids and us tall women who get treated like men in drag need to band together against the real menage of insecure average-sized women! ;)
@@ttintagel literally though. i love tall women :(
First world problems in one post
@michiko_nox Mens' weird obsession with younger women, especially in the incel and manosphere, really should be discussed more.
@@randomnonsense83 It really should be discussed more. I'm tired of men seeing young women as more "fertile". I don't know if the thing is that it's something primal within humans is true, but it's still a disgusting thing to say or think about a woman.
I missed the overnight part of the baby sitter story and thought she was just sleeping at like 6 pm or something lol
7:12 Clearly NTA. This SIL is giving what-were-you-wearing vibes. And pulls the classic DARVO when OP calls her out.
Honestly it was really needed/helpful to hear that last story and your input, as I'm going through something very familiar and it's painful
17:51 I myself have had a lot of interactions with people who have autism. My older brother has it and I might as well but we can’t get me diagnosed as of the moment. Like you said, asking for consent to put the plaster on it is the good way to do it. And talking them through the steps of what you’re doing never hurts. I’ve never had any interactions with young people with autism other than my brother, but most of the time(from my experiences) you need patience and you need to talk, a lot. This is just from my experiences, so it’s not facts, so don’t take everything I say to heart and if you want to learn more I encourage you to do some research on it. And if you’re going to look after someone that has autism you really need to know what you’re doing :]
I snorted at the 18 year old that has never had a job saying "babysitting is easy" OP should have definitely been told the childrens preferences but how could you not be willing to put a band-aid on a kid? It didn't sound like she knew what to do at all. Maybe im biased because ive babysat since i was 14.
As a woman who has also been short all her life and often guessed to be younger than I am, probably at least partly because of that fact, EFF. THAT. SISTER-IN-LAW. Oh, MY god, how very DARE you. You're mad that I called you out FOR BEING A BULLY? There's a simple solution to that: DON'T. BE. A BULLY. I really saw red at the part where the SIL was telling OP not to try "starting sh*t". BEEYOTCH YOU STARTED IT YOURSELF, MONTHS AGO! This isn't starting. This is just finally turning the constant bullying, into a TWO-sided fight.
Hands would be thrown. HANDS, would be THROWN. How dare you get all offended at me for DARING to be mad at the fact that YOU are a horrible, horrible person? Hands. Now.
AFTER I calmed down (if ever) and if we both still had all our teeth and limbs, THEN I would do the "Why do you think babies are sexy?" thing at her.
And then, I'd LIKE to say I would start deliberately dressing all cutesy-kiddish, aka actually DO the thing she's constantly accusing me of doing--and specifically only dress that way when she comes over. Like, the second I hear SIL is coming to a family event, I'd grab two scrunchies and start making pigtails (and with my butt-length hair, that's kind of annoying to do.)
....but in actuality I'm a grumpy, withdrawing, avoidant little introvert, and what I would ACTUALLY do, is ask if she's coming to any family event, and just not come if I hear she is. If the other relatives ask why, I wouldn't give them any fake excuses. I would say tell the whole story. Mad at me for calling you out ONCE? I'll do it over and over, if necessary.
She'd blow up my phone.
I'd block her on everything.
And then I'd go on with my life, feeling such FREEDOM, now that ding, dong, the witch is "dead", and I no longer feel that big toxic boulder on my back. PHEW.
Oh, and: That last part is not theoretical. I've actually DONE that--and to a blood relative. She wouldn't stop bullying me, and I didn't want to listen to it anymore. Being FAMILY doesn't earn you time and space in my life. Being a decent human being does.
i was not ready to see quokka backlit by the ring light that was mildly terrifying T-T
AITA for thinking baptising babies should be forbidden? Don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against baptisms, I just think it’s weird to force it on babies. In my honest opinion I think that parents should wait until their child/children are a bit older, like 12 years old to ask them if they want to be baptised.
NTA, it's indoctrination to baptise babies so you're just seeing this as it is
not defending the practice, but different branches of christianity/catholicism call for baptism at different times in their belief systems. some think they have to do it in the early youth (the branch i was raised in but rejected as i got older baptised me at less than a month old, for example) and some choose to do it later. if im remembering right, some want it to be done after/during confirmation (the thing where kids get allowed to take communion after passing), and some branches just dont care and you can get baptized whenever you feel like it. youre definitely not in the wrong for seeing it as weird, i agree with you, but to say it should be entirely banned is a little much-- its part of religious belief. if youre baptized in youth, and the event was before you would be able to remember, its very easy to just pretend it didnt happen and you were never baptized :)
I'm an atheist and pretty anti-religion in general, but I don't know a lot about baptism or the culture surrounding it. (I grew up in a Muslim household.)
I'm opposed to getting baby's ears pierced or getting your child circumcised, but that's mostly because it's an unnecessary physical change without a baby's consent.
A baptism doesn't physically change a child nor does it make them Christian (?). Is it supposed to give your child salvation before they can really choose to pickup Christianity? I think it is so much more impactful to choose to be baptized when you're older, but I don't see a problem with getting it done as a baby as long as it is appropriate to get baptized more than once. I also don't think you're an ahole for thinking it should be forbidden. They can always get in the future when they can consent.
Idk why you came here for that but I don't think baptisms are that deep anywhere outside the usa. Like, in my country most kids were baptised in the past and none of the atheist I am surrounded of seem to care. I am agnostic and I just don't careabout it. Parents started doing it because they were afraid their children would be stuck in limbo, which whatever, but now in most christian communities around the world it's pretty much a cultural practice that is just falling out. It's become a social celebration that just feels ajward. Honestly I think it's just a husstle to do it when you are older for whetever reason. Almost nobody converts to christianity in my country, but honestly sounds so akward. I just wouldn't do it. It's a 30 yr old celebrating a quinceañera. Who do you invite? Besides that, many kids that weren't baptised but were still raised in a religious environment still did it later to get gifts in a first communion. If you are an atheist don't do it cause your kid won't convert, but at least in a catholic environment you are gonna reach a first comunion moment and most I knew in that situation baptised for the kids and regretted doing that effort for something they didn't care about. In my opinion, americans are way too passionate about the worst parts of religion and that may lead to people, idk, feeling too Christian because of the baptism when they want to detach themselves from that. I mean, later you have comunion, confirmation, religious marriage, etc. So where I live if you become an atheist you just don't do those. I didn't have a confirmation and honestly I do not feel the baptism flowing through my veins. Maybe in the USA at least it should be, since it's so significant. I've actually heard this in the usa, but not anywhere around where I live, even if most of my friends are atheists. Personally, it feels like people prefer it when it's not their fault. If you wait to 12 most will pick without knowing shit abt their religion still and then feel like idiots if they regret it later or somewhat bound to their choice. In my experience, the people that baptised later that I knew did it because everyone was baptised or for gifts and later on regretted it more than anyone I've ever known that was baptised as a kid and later on became an atheist. Even when I was a Christian I was as neutral to it as with having been born. It just happened.
in orthodox christianity, at least the russian wing, the baptism is literally submerging a baby under water. youre not the butthole, but im biased as you see
Maybe it's how I was raised. But essentially if I had a kid dating another kid, I think it'd be kinda funny to book them separate rooms, on opposite sides of mine. I don't think it makes sense to force kids to be apart (they're just gonna sneak around, it's better to be aware and safe imho.). But it doesn't mean I'm not gonna mess with them a lil bit. :3
2:45 Def not the asshole, tho I would try to find more methods beyond just cooking at home, since she may not have time to do so and is why they have TV dinners all the time in the first place. I’d wanna help her find alternatives that also save time.
On the first one, i bet the mom felt like op was going her parenting and shaming her for mot cooking. I dont think thats at all op's intentions, but it could definitely come off that way. I think the mom just needs a few days to think about it and simmer down
If my family was passively watching someone to call me a sexy baby without saying something, I would no longer be seeing them. Being “hands off” isn’t an excuse. That’s just messed up
oh damn this is the earliest i’ve been to a video ! glad to see you on my feed again ^^
aita vids are my FAVORITE I LOVE THISS
17:24 My mom had a great point: "That's smth you can do at any time of day, so why not have a sleepover? 🤷♀️"
I think with the two babysitting stories, its definitely ESH (though with the first one, the babysitter is much less of an AH, and Bo isn't an AH/OP is the bigger AH in the second one).
It's one thing for literally judging someone for what they feed their kid, if it's not bothering anyone. It's another to be like, "hey, your kid is saying the food you and the school are giving her are making her feel sick. The food I fed her all week gave her no issues. I think she has allergies to some of the food."
as someone who works with kids (has ever since highschool) i was on the babysitter’s side for a bit bcs it’s totally on the parents that they hired someone with no experience whatsoever when they have a kid with special needs, but i changed my mind because of the absolute lack of effort
I don’t think the babysitter one is an AH. Why would her parents even allow her to babysit at night but regardless if it was agreed upon then she should most definitely be alert. I don’t think teens should be baby sitting at night anyway though.
babysitter guy is an ah for hiring a 16 year old in the first place
@@theMyRadiowasTaken he probably hired her because her wages are cheaper than a professional babysitter/nanny who IS equipped ot babysit at night.
@theMyRadiowasTaken What is he meant to do? Most people would be lucky to afford a babysitter, it's not like everyone is rolling in it enough to afford a live-in nanny.
@@tweedlebug123 yea. I don’t like that her hired her either but more than likely if he AND his wife are working they don’t have lots of money
He literally said he hired her because she was baby sitting his coworkers kids, it's because she is known and trusted among his circles. I don't think teens should be baby sitting either, but I can understand why someone would want to hire someone they trust instead of a complete stranger.
Hello Savannah! I hope that you're doing well. I love your shirt. Also, If I got called a "sexy baby" by anyone, I would have recorded it, and I would have said that they're a pedophile for thinking that babies are sexy. Then, I would have turned those recordings into the police and got that person arrested. It's extremely disgusting that this "term" exists. Please let it die. I love you always and forever💖💖💖💖😘😘😘😘
Yup
My reply to that story was how to shut the SIL up for good by going "you think I'm a sexy baby? Why do you think babies are sexy? Are you sexually attracted to me cos you think I look like a baby? Why are you sexualising babies?" And just keep going lowkey pdf shaming them until they never say a single word to you ever again
as gross as the term is, i DON'T think someone can be arrested for it- especially since apparently it's a reference to a character from a show called 30 Rock. It's still an increadibly weird and uncomfortable term.
lol… you’re gonna get someone arrested for calling you a weird pet name??? Good luck I guess?
@@WolfgangDoW I agree with you. Let that person feel just as bad as OP did about her body
@@tweedlebug123 I agree with you. But the people (who worked on that show) should have never made it a phrase. I would have fired the script writers if I was their boss
Baby name theft isn't a thing. It gets stupid when people get pissy about it. There are millions of names. Pick a different one and let it go.
There was a woman that i was friends with as a kid and we kind of became friends as adults. When i was pregnant and found out i was having a boy and announced the name on fb, she went off her nut. She wasnt even pregnant at the time. She was like you stole my baby name. She ended up having a boy as well and named her kid the same name as mine, but the first letter is different. We stopped being friends after that
21:20 Plaster? Someone tell me what medical plaster is because it can't be the plaster I'm thinking of
Haven't gotten to that point of the video yet, but I'm pretty sure a plaster is a bandaid.
Edit: Yeah, I'm right.
Plaster means a bandaid
lol, HOW old are you??
@@gh0stpuppi333sweetie... not *everyone* uses the same word for everything 😱😱 The word plaster in some places means something completely different, and if a person just happens to have not come across it being used differently, it doesn't mean that they are either 10 or stupid. 🙄🙄
@@gh0stpuppi333 lol HOW many languages do you speak??
this is likely someone with english as a second language. shame on you for shaming someone who likely knows more than you overall.
17:30 True, but "GOD" and stuff. From the parents' view, they won't allow their money to be used for "sin"
Always excited to see your new videos. Love your videos. Wish i could support you on patreon
I was watching this whilst cleaning and my sister asked if I was watching a gay and I was just taken aback but also she’s not wrong
using that 30 rock quote to put down women especially knowing the context of that whole episode is insane
I have no knowledge whatsoever of the show and episode in question but your comment makes me curious, would you be willing to explain it? Just whatever is contextually important obviously, not the whole show.
@@roselover411 yeah, in the episode they are hiring a new writer and when she shows up shes dressed like a supposed "sexy baby", liz is appalled at her behavior and keeps trying to "fix" or "help" her and finds an old clip of her doing stand-up from before she stared acting like a "sexy baby" and shows it to the writers room, turns our she changed her voice and appearance to escape her crazy ex and she seeks male attention because she feels safer when they are around. so basically liz got herself involved in another girls situation that she didnt even begin to understand then ended up puttingher life in danger
@@z0mbzie420 omg that is so far from my expectations, I could never have come up with that O.O definitely did not understand that context!
I was unaware of the plight of small women, good to know
yea. i'm 156cm (which is about 5'1") and have a small chest.. i always get mistaken for being WAY younger than i actually look and it's really frustrating. sometimes i feel like men only find me attractive because i "look like a teenager". i even have been called a "loli" by one guy in my old class, which by the way is not even a joke. those people really exist
Where did you get that shirt?!?!? I'm kind of obsessed
She's lucky they didn't call cps
The last one I and my older siblings can relate to being parentified.
Recently discovered your channel and loving all the content ❣️ YT is recommendeding your channel keep it up! 🍄🐢
“You’re trying to be a sexy baby aren’t you?” “I don’t think you should be at family events if you have those kinds of feelings about babies.”
How does your makeup always look so fire like ✨👏🏻
16:45 most colleges in the states don’t allow opposite genders stay in a dorm together or to have sleepovers. However, that isn’t the problem here I think that it’s definitely unreasonable to push that on someone if you haven’t placed rules
17:00 haha oh man this one is relatable. this past june my boyfriend's family invited me to go with them on their family vacation to orlando, florida. i am currently unemployed, which they are aware of, so they agreed to take on most expenses. i was not allowed to be alone in a room with my boyfriend at all on the trip. i am 23, he is 22, and we have been together for 3 years. his parents are hardcore christians-just like the lady in this story, so they got 2 separate hotel/condo rooms to segregate the males and females. there were only 2 men at the start of the trip (his uncle and sisters boyfriend joined in the later half) and 4 women. it was a stressful experience at some points, to say the least. this was my first big introduction to most of his family 😭
I have a whole bunch of allergies and I think people miss that some foods have a lot of histamines in them. Anything stored, fermented, etc... it's like a histamine bonanza. So fresh cooked food is less painful. It's a pain in the arse, but you can eat small amounts of these foods the better you stick to low histamine foods as there are fewer in your system.
For years I just felt sick and had nausea, and then I started getting acid issues. The nausea got worse and I had to keep taking antacids until I was stuck on it daily. Eventually, it went from a burning in my chest to out of control. It felt like it came out of nowhere but I had just normalised the earlier symptoms from people telling me to get over it. Eat what you are given. Stop being picky. You can't feel sick every time you eat! The next level was GERD. Extremely violent vomiting, pain so bad I couldn't stay silent, probably didn't help after years of nausea I was emetophobic.
I was going days where I was barely managing slices of apple. I eventually found my way to immunology, and accepted a safe drink of milk was now poison to me out of what felt like nowhere.
In the beginning, though I reacted very badly anytime I tried to cheat. However, it's worth it as now I can eat and not feel sick. My hair has also grown over a foot longer than my previous terminal length.
Don't just meh a child feeling sick when given the same kind of food over and over.
I agree that there's a difference regarding the baby names. Like you can’t reserve a name, but if she did it like the story where the OP was infertile and her sister used her baby name so it wasn't "wasted", then she would be a complete ass.
I'm only on the babysitters side because it shouldn't be expected that a teenage girl will just know how to take care of children. Or that taking care of children has a one solution. Additionally I'm appalled that she wasn't given any instructions about the kids beside, "let the older child, sit and do whatever in their room and only focus on the young one" Like sure I'm not going to actively take care of more grown child, the older the kids the more its about just being there to make sure they don't get hurt/feeding them good food. I babysat a similar situation. I just can't sit here and judge an 18 year-old for not immediately knowing how to be the adult in the room when its their first time maybe doing that in this capacity. Especially when you have a child that might have a full on melt down if you touch them or interact with too much, because you're new and its a lot of change happening. Her language towards the kids to me is just a by-product of being young. I was much more spiteful towards kids when I was younger too. it took me some time to learn and comprehend that kids are growing and not being annoying to actively bother me.
20:05 as a support worker, if the child in question is able to communicate his needs then yta, if not, then the parents are the AH for not giving you enough information, about the kid. either way its the kids who take the brunt of this
I NEED THAT SHIRT PLEASEE 😭🙏
5:25 I'm the younger in the family and my siblings already have families and children. My brother names her first daughter literally my favourite name that I wished to give one day to give to a possible daughter, he did not know plus I was still underage when that happen, but even if I was a bit upset I personally I'm happy in the end and love my niece, I can understand tho being a bit upset about it but demanding it to change seem a bit too much imo
I think the only time it would be ok not to pay someone back for a ticket is if it didn't sell. Otherwise give them their money??
I don’t agree on the babysitter one. He isn’t an AH. I started babysitting at 14, including overnight and I made damn sure I woke up when I heard the children wake up or cry or something because that’s what I was paid to do! Imagine if there was an emergency what then? She would’ve slept right through it? Parents hire babysitter to…babysit and make sure their children are okay not to be so fast asleep they don’t even hear them
26:13 NTA. It’s clear the mom is just trying to assert dominance over her daughter. Not acceptable.
i get the feeling babysitting story OP wasn't as kind about asking the babysitter to set alarms as he wants us to think. because the story reads as "oh i just said this cant happen again so maybe try setting alarms pwetty pwease and then she got hurt and my wife got so mad at me ):" like are u sure u didnt snap at her or something?
OMG I HAVE THAT SAME SHIRT IN YELLOW!!
At age 15 i had yo babysit 5 brothers, all young. One autistic 5 yr old would have been easy for me 😭
Re: Sexy baby sister in law: Well, if your brother always takes her side, and your family is hands off, then put her in the trunk of your car. Your family shouldn't care after all, because they don't get involved in private matters between just the two of you.
Is there any chance you'd talk about the upcoming execution of an autistic man, for a crime that all experts - and the original lead investigator and one of the expert witnesses - now agree never even happened? Robert Roberson is scheduled to die on 17th October for the death of his daughter in 2002. The judge who signed off on the scheduling is retired, and did not offer him a hearing despite all evidence pointing to the truth that his daughter died of medical negligence and complications relating to an infection. All details of the case can be found on the innocence project website and it's a truly harrowing example of injustice and discrimination.
On the first one, I kinda think OP isn't completely not in the wrong. Suggesting that the child needs allergy testing is good, but assuming it's a preservative and telling the mom she needs to cook is too far. It could be celiac or lactose intolerance or an allergy to something other than a preservative. She should have just told her what happened and suggested allergy testing and left it at that.
The 18 year old babysitter thread, I really need to see the responses and opinions from people.
Nanny one is not an asshole, just concerned parent
10:06 30 Rock was a great series the “Sexy baby” woman turnes out that she was putting an act with a new name and trying to make lots of make “male friends” to put a whole distance of her dangerous ex. She felt more at control telling people she was cute and small and need protection. All the men coworkers sides with her and she was in control of the boundaries. It’s an interesting take but she wasn’t even a short person just a regular woman acting extra cutesy
I'm unsure, but for the dorm one, is co-ed allowed? To put personal morals aside, I believe the boyfriend and girlfriend would get into trouble if it was found her boyfriend stayed in the dorm, right?
The height thing, I totally get this but the other way as a tall woman. Getting called a man or a tree because I am tall like I chose it. Sucks to be them, I love being tall and like to look down at all the peasants.
Tbh while the last one was not acting great, but the real AH's are the parents who just left their children with basically another child without proper instruction. Chances are she honestly never encountered an autistic child before, no wonder she has no idea how to handle the situation
the babysitter WAS in the wrong in the len and bo story but so was the mom who hired her. it's fucking insane to hire an 18 year old with no babysitting experience to babysit TWO children with special needs. you can't just leave a 5 and 10 year old alone with a stranger who has no qualifications or experience and expect it to go well. you especially can't do it if you don't even give the babysitter any directions on how to handle said special needs. i wouldn't leave an 18 year old with no experience around children alone with any children, let alone a 5 and 10 year old. i've babysat my cousins before and no one was ok with leaving me alone in the house with any of them until i showed them that i was capable of doing anything i would need to like preparing a meal and comforting them and changing diapers when they were young enough. and this mom didn't even check to see if this babysitter was even capable of interacting with her 5 year old appropriately before leaving them alone. insane.
The first one.
OP's SIL is so insanely jealous of OP.
I have a SIL (er, had. I was found NTA on mine issue) one just like her.
OP should up her game and keep dressing how she wants, but make sure to go all out when she sees her SIL.
The only way the first one could be TA is if OP phrased it tactlessly, or something.
i hate gifts that come with strings attached, just don't
Why are the parents leaving a four month old baby with a 16 year old through the night ??!!!
As a parent, I have a completely different take on the first story. Cooking foods that your kids will eat for every meal is HARD. I'm guessing this mother was very concerned for her daughter but wasn't sure what to do, and the way this woman seemed to think that she had solved the problem overnight and diagnosed her with allergies (??) and told her she needs to cook would come off as REALLY condescending and implies that she doesn't take care of her kids and that OP is a better mom. I don't know how anyone would react any other way than to feel insulted. Feeling that someone is calling you a bad parent causes immediate primal rage. My youngest was really picky when I met him (I'm step-mom), but he soon realized he likes all kinds of foods, just not steak or pork, which his dad likes to cook a lot. I switched to protein pasta because he was really small for his age and made some other changes like brown rice instead of white. The older kid watched some food documentaries and suddenly vegan except for seafood and some baked goods as long as they didn't know what was in them (I never tricked them or anything, I mean stuff from the store or at their friends' houses). My husband likes meat and fruit, I like meat and vegetables. So I'm cooking vats of beans an rice and piles of pasta and then roasting some pork or cooking some steaks and fish when we can afford it.... Oh yeah and my husband apparently has a dairy allergy, and the youngest is apparently lactose intolerant so we have to get oat milk now, but he will shove entire babybel cheeses into his mouth.... My husband used to give them some chicken, some frozen vegetable, and maybe some pasta before heading out to his 12 hour long night shift as a paramedic, and then get home just in time to give them some cereal and take them to school. So yeah, saying that it's EASY to cook healthy meals for your kids all the time raises my hackles just a bit.