My mom told me that I was no longer allowed to live at her home, told me to never come back. The very next text message was her asking what our mothersday plans were.
My mom pushed me away from home. Russian winter. Evening. 10pm, they called me through the phone, asking, would I go home. I was and am now at home of my biological father, like she told me to go. Next day, my dad told me to talk with her and she said that she don't want to see me home if I'm not an obedient servant (summary). I mean, looking through life I was kinda obvious Month later she called me on Easter begging for forgiveness, crying on the phone (religious tradition). I am forgiving girl, but it was physically hard to say "I forgive you." I just don't wanna her to cry at phone. Of course, she is not forgiven, it's stupid to think that she ever be And shortly after, she behaved like always, maybe better. She thinks I'm just separated and our relationship has improved. It's not separation, it's trauma, scar. We not improved, she still a traitor, that sweared of her love in the beginning and pushed me out at the end.
Sounds familiar. One day they are nasty and horrible, then the next day they pretend nothing happened. Then later on when you bring up the awful things they did, they switch into gaslight mode and claim that it never happened.
13:49 Fun Beatles fact: There is an actual video of an interview where a reporter (or someone in that field idk) says to John Lennon, "they think your hair cuts are unamerican". John responds, "Well that's very observant of them because we arn't American actually".
Same vibes as that woman that tried to buy an insta off someone with her same name for the handle and didn't believe they had the same name bc "no one in America has my name" 😂😂😂 Americans are insane
My step father accused me of witchcraft, because his dog got cancer. He refused to get the dog help, it spread to his whole body And he blamed a 14 year old because I liked collecting rocks. A decade later and its still so baffling how he came to that conclusion as a grown ass man
My dad once accused me of witchcraft because i smushed a spider in the house and while I was going to get a paper towel it got back up and ran off Obviously nowhere near as horrible as your dad, but what is it with dads accusing 14 year olds of witchcraft??
@@marsmadden1910wow…. I put a deposit on an apartment several years ago I had been shown the property by the co-owner who was a young father of a preschool child and under the age of 25. His wife was in her early forties as was I (somehow the conversation came up that my first grandchild and their first child were born in the same year of us being 38 so we were peers, kind ?) I had a phone call from the guy who knew I was was the Astrology columnist for one of our cities newspapers because it was one of my sources of income when I applied for the place after I sold my house. They do have the right to check that that was it at the time I was also counselor full-time, the newspaper was a weekly arts and entertainment issue. I was called back to collect my deposit check because the man’s wife had Facebook and LinkedIn stocked me sufficiently enough to be scared because I reminded her of the “bad witch “in the movie that came out the Craft year, he was born when she was in high school I would’ve beenin college. It was pretty weird and very inconvenient because I had no back up location to move to and less than a week before I was due to occupy the townhouse. People be weird sometimes they be weird.
Wow. I'm so sorry. I only suffered a very minor version of this and still have severe CPTSD. My parents truly believed everything they were brainwashed with, so they were doing things they honestly thought would help me. They are good people at their core, but are victims of the church. They were always gentle and kind when they would tell me something I had was "demonic," but it still traumatized me. Like, for example, I liked a little figurine that a friend gave me which I guess was actually an Egyptian god/goddess. And my mom said, "Oh no sweetie! We don't want to have anything in our house that represents false gods because that opens the door to demonic activity!" So I cannot imagine how much more you went through and continue to suffer with. Thank you for sharing your story. I hope you are surrounded by people now who you feel comfortable being yourself around
“The British Invasion”?? Two of the Beatles are still alive and still public figures and you can hear them speaking in their BRITISH ACCENTS (specifically Liverpudlian)
They ARE NOT. I have a parent like this who has severe unprocessed childhood trauma, and instead of coping or recovering he just became more permanently immature. Things are slowly getting better and I reluctantly hope he’ll figure his shit out, but every parent has their own fucked up backstory for why they are the way they are.
@@ErutaniaRose Rock on! That's good advice. FWIW, I figure I should share the other side of that coin: sometimes, you _can't_"therapize" (note: not a word) your way out of a situation because the other person isn't willing to put the work in. If you go to family therapy and that happens, it's not your fault. In that case, maybe try regular therapy!
@@ErutaniaRose well, yes, there are drawn from millions of people, it's more surprising the victims of these parents aren't fully caught up in the drama if raised in it. Also, there is the possibility this is all made up, certainly the more attention posts like this get, the more people will make this up. All the popular Reddit AITA posts cover the same topics once they are seen as popular, with he same tropes throughout, always with a villain and people "blowing up" the OPs phone
Last night, I got into an argument with my parents because I "left without their permission". For context, I'm 21 years old and rent an apartment from them and I went out to hang out with my friends for DND.
Shit like this is why housing should be a right and we need to ditch forcing nuclear family modules on people. Kids are trapped if they have shit parents, with no adults in their life that can help them. And then can't escape as adults.
@@MphoenixEA lot of people have cultural baggage attached. It’s reflex, maybe, to think everyone feels the freedom to confront their elders in such a manner. To step out of line knowing the wrong move could cost you your whole family? Even aunts, cousins, and grandparents? Not to say that’s happening here, but you need to understand not everyone is going to approach this sort of thing with the same perspective. For all kinds of reasons. It’s easy to say “You should…” but a lot of the toxic stuff they’re probably dealing with starts the exact same way.
Why is this a thing?? My boyfriend went through the same drama with his mom when he moved out of her house and in with me. Two years later and she still won’t speak to him. Like what 😵💫
Some parents are insane. A friend's daughter in law regiments when her daughter can poop. She is only allowed to poop at 8 PM daily. Then mom inspects her poop to make sure that a) she did poop, and b) that it was a proper amount and consistency. The child is currently 7. Her grandmother is saving up an escape fund for the granddaughter for when she turns 18 and can get out of the house legally. Also, food portions are weighed to make sure she is eating the proper amount of foods and food groups.
If this is true then that's absolutely mind blowing. The mom seems absolutely obsessed with her daughter's health and yet will only allow her to poop at one particular time each day? Not only is that HORRIBLY unhealthy but that's just not how bodies even work. What is she supposed to do if a bowel movement comes on her violently and suddenly in the middle of the afternoon? What happens if she literally can't hold it for several more hours??
Holy fuck that's horrid. Has anyone called CPS for a wellcare check...? I have a feeling that if this is a thing there's gotta be more going on...best check than not 😕
I don't understand. What happens if something doesn't agree with her stomach and she has an emergency? Even if that doesn't happen and she manages to hold everything until 8 PM, there is no way that's not causing her major discomfort. What is the mom's reasoning for this?? Does she have terrible OCD or something? What about the girl's father? Does he condone all of this? Holy shit that's insane.
That "my daughter destroyed her shoes from playing too much" thing just makes me grateful for my own mom when I i was a kid. She always said that the more dirty I was when I came home, the more fun I had. She never admonished me for playing outside and having fun, and she knew all clothes and shoes and things were replaceable. I get not wanting your kid to be constantly destroying their shoes and clothing, but just one pair of cheap shoes in two months getting worn out? That's normal my guy
The funniest thing is that she posted a pic of the shoes (I remember seeing this same post in a video by The Click that showed a pic of the shoes), and they weren't thrashed at all, they were just kinda dirty. If she had completely thrashed the shoes, sure, I'd definitely be annoyed. But they weren't that dirty and they weren't ruined. So now she just wants to take away any sort of entertainment or happiness from the poor kid (no library? She can't even read a book?? What is she supposed to do, stare at a wall?) for just being a kid. My mom would get a little annoyed with me always getting holes in my jeans because I was always rolling around in the grass and being kinda rowdy outside, but for the most part she didn't care. Cuz I was a kid! And she knew what to expect! Kids are messy af. Don't have them if you don't want to clean up after them or have them dirty their clothes and shoes!
My sister and I would come home caked in dirt and so tired that we could barely stay awake in the bath. My parents were overjoyed because it meant that A) we had an amazing day full of fun and B) we'd be out like a light early on and that they would have the evening for themselves.
I got 2 pairs of shoes a year. Nothing over $50 Canadian. One was for indoor gym class and couldn’t go outside or I’d fail gym. The other? If I wore it through I didn’t get another pair. I could get $1 Walmart flip flops for summer though. I’d be yelled and screamed at for wearing through my shoes. The kicker is I am disabled. I have uneven wear on my shoes because of it. I spent one winter with no shoes for indoors at high school because they bought be boots that year and my “indoor shoes” fell apart in gym class first semester. I saved up and bought my own eventually but they wouldn’t even drive me to get them. I had to beg. To this day I sob when I wear through a pair of shoes.
Literally. As an adult i buy shoes knowing they're meant to be worn in. As a full grown adult my shoes get worn out from playing. My heart hurts for these babies oh my god 😞
I talked to an American with guns who told me that even he found it disturbing how many people he had met throughout his life that actually walks around with a fantasy of k!lling someone in so called self defense.
After reading many comments on RUclips videos I did get the distinct impression that many gun owners do see themselves as the cowboy in the white hat. I am in the UK and despite liking shooting, I find the idea of carrying a gun when going out for any reason absolute madness.
Bank teller here. As long as he’s a signer on the account there’s nothing we can do. I think it might be a civil case. I Feel bad for her. For others, I recommend to open an account on your own at a completely different bank and close the joint one as soon as you are 18. You only need one person to close it. If it going to cause trouble to close it leave it open with a low amount, enough to avoid the fee, and have the other account receive your deposits until it’s safe to close. Meaning you can avoid your parent’s abuse should they become angry for you closing your account. I hate that parents do this. It’s right up there with parents who use their kids social security number and open cards and loans many before their even 18. I don’t know why there isn’t something that flags it for banks/credit card companies that this person is a minor. Those poor kids get stuck with the debt and many places won’t even drop it despite the fact that it’s easily proven that the debt was incurred before 18. Like it’s not hard matching the date the loan was taken out against the persons age.
heyo! I found out as an adult my parents used my social security number to do all kinds of shit. Even took out government assistance in my name and went to a court hearing. Fucking wild starting life in the negative
Even the chance of it succeeding as a civil law case would, at least to some extent, be dependent on the nature of the joint bank account and the (hopefully written) intentions and rules under which it was set up. If the co-owner has access to the bank account simply to help monitor finances or such, they could potentially be held accountable. But if it's serious co-owner ship you'd possibly be bang out of luck...
That is not remotely true in every state and for every bank. It's been over 10 years since I divorced and my bank still refuses to remove my ex husband from my account. It was mine for years before we got married. Banking policies allow for all kinds of financial abuse.
I’m not sure about when you’re overdrafting but I know if I physically go into the bank I can pull out a lot more than if I’m like at an atm. That’s definitely something I’d be asking my bank about though cause oooooof
Depends if you have overdraft "protection" enabled. I have that turned off precisely to avoid something like this ever happening if I were to ever get hacked.
The bank will let you have a larger negative balance when they know your direct deposit will cover it. Plus other things, like having another account linked where they can auto-transfer to cover said overdraft, but that account is also too low.
which is kinda great for kids (of a younger age) cause they outgrow them so damn fast anyway. Not getting your kids new shoes when they need them is just mean! (also, in my experience... a pretty solid warning sign of abuse, strangly enough. Every kid I knew in elementary school who had a "hard home life" had REALLY dirty shoes)
If you're doing something wrong as a parent, and someone calls you out on that, and your immediate response to it is "So-- I must be the worst then, right?" and you weren't called the worst.. it means you know that what you are doing is wrong but you wanna be validated in it so you don't have to change. And that is so unfair, because you're manipulating others, due to not wanting to be called out when you (at least subconsciously) know that what you're doing is wrong.
"what I did wasn't illegal", "you can't prove I did that" have the exact same vibe as that. Like, if you weren't guilty you'd just explain your side, not immediately deflect. That "oh you just want to make me the bad guy" is narcissistic behavior.
My partners mom said this so many times that he started agreeing with her when she said it and after a short time of him doing that she stopped saying the whole "well I guess I'm just the worst mother" 😂
It slays me how many of these parents and others I see are furious that their kid has done something totally normal. "I still remember you telling me to get away from you in stores." So, uh, how *dare* that child hit a developmentally appropriate milestone to experiment with degrees of independence in controlled environments!
My mother did the whole 'oh I am the worst woe is me' thing until the time I was so fed up I just agreed with her. Shut her up quick and she's never tried that line with me since.
Some parents can really cross the line controlling their kids and making it worse for them. It shows that even in family relationships, which should be loving, can be toxic and full of conflict but in the end, it all feels pretty pointless and bleak.
I'm so sorry if your mom makes you feel like that, your mother should never guilt trip you because she decided to be a parent and then you grow up and need to live your own life. Just try to remember, The guilt Trip isn't even about you, it's her own issues that she hasn't dealt with in a healthy way. As long as you're treating her with respect and love, (not when they aren't treating you with love and respect though), you're being a good kid. And no decent mother should ever make you feel otherwise just for trying to live your life. If anyone tries to guilt trip you, when you legitimately have done nothing wrong to them, then you need to either push them out of your life, or put up boundaries that make it clear you will not put up with guilt tripping and gaslighting. My kid is almost 20, and yeah sometimes I feel sad that he doesn't need me as much anymore, but that's my problem, not his. And because he knows he can always talk to me with no judgment or guilt, we have an amazing relationship.. he knows I'm never going to make him feel bad for trying to figure out life and live it to its fullest. No one is a perfect parent, but only bad or dysfunctional parents make their kids feel guilty for just being alive and trying to adult.
@@annkatt3 fr thank you, you seem like a great parent. Sometimes I have days where I'm just in my room because I need time to myself and both of my parents complain about it. It recently got to the point where my dad didn't wanna say goodbye when I left the house to go to work. Now that it is summer and I've got less stressing me out, I've been able to be around my parents more but my mom still says "oh! You never spend time with your dad and I" and I try explaining "I'm usually at work or with friends. And when I'm not, I'm in my room so I can be alone" and I've offered to watch movies, play games, or go out with my parents a ton
@@Mel12722 it sounds like they are grasping at you still being a child, it can be hard to realize your baby isn't a baby anymore. As much as it hurts, they need to let you grow up without making you feel guilty for trying to be independent. In fact, you might want to let them know that it's (sometimes) a sign of good parenting that you can be an independence, responsible person who has friends, a job, and is okay having time to themselves. Those are all positive things. You being aware of your social battery is also a positive thing, and your parents should be proud and glad that you know when to say stop and have some time to yourself. It would be different if you were spending all your time in your room being depressed and not out living, then they would definitely have cause to be worried.. even then they shouldn't be guilt tripping you. Maybe if you let them know that they make you feel guilty a lot of the time it would help? Most teenagers do not spend any time with their parents, I think the fact that you try to is a sign that you're a good kid who appreciates their parents. It's okay for you to start having boundaries with them. I hope I don't sound like I'm talking to you like a kid, this would be the same advice I would have for a friend.
1:34 First of all, a protein intensive diet is maybe not fun for your kidneys. Second, if you don’t giving children carbohydrates, how are they going to produce energy and enrich their minds?
Children need quite a few calories and not a that much protein from what I know (they need it but they primarily need carbohydrates bc they move a lot). It’s also even worse when these children start doing sports and their diets are still restrictive.
True, I mean the only time people and children need high protein low carb diets is for health reasons like I was put on a high protein low-carb diet at a young age because I have reactive hypoglycaemia. But what they mean by low-carb was not a lot of simple carbs, and not a lot of fruit. My diet is very non starchy vegetable rich. I mostly eat animal proteins and veggies as the majority of my diet. I have a lot of allergies so the safest way for me to get proteins is through animal proteins. That being said I eat this way for health reasons so that I won’t develop type two diabetes. But the majority of people, especially children should not have a diet that restricts things to the extent mine does because they don’t need to. Edit: I also have three sisters and they weren’t put on this diet because they didn’t need it. I did. My mom also has the same diet because she also has reactive hypoglycemia. That being said that didn’t mean I never got to eat carbs or pastas. It just meant those were limited for health reasons.
@@ryanwalsh5019 carbs are important for energy though. Protien is best eaten after a work out while carbs eaten beforehand give you energy for the sports/work-out. Cutting out carbs is more a big component for weight loss.
the mom isn't teaching her kids how to read & write so she can discipline her kids by saying "it says here in the bible that kids have to listen to their parents, and you cant refute it because you can't read" like the 1300s
So this is exactly how the Catholic Church did things before the Reformation. It’s how they got so much money. The only place that you could hear the bible was when it was read aloud at church. Everything was written in Latin, which the common folk couldn’t read.
Not a Christian, but it *does* say "Honour your parents" in the Bible. It's one of the big rules. You know, one of those rules that ended up on a big stone slab.
“You can’t guilt them into it with your culture “. Clearly you’re not familiar with Asian parents. It’s extremely common. Thank god my parents aren’t like that, but they will hold parenthood over your head for the rest of your life. For your money, your time, your lifestyle, everything
We are not Asians, but Balkans my mother is 70 years old I sm 38 with two kids but my mom still expect me to send her money every month even if she has her own, and then if I can't send she is guilt tripping me because she is my mother and I am obligated to take care of her
I’m sorry. I chose to have children. It is my responsibility to love, provide for them, and raise them to adulthood. They did not choose to be born and they don’t owe me anything. The expectations placed on you are not fair.
Literally--because what is the correlation between you being a manipulative thief and me allegedly being lazy?? This man was doing some serious mental gymnastics.
my mom put me on weight watchers when i was 9 years old. i had this little point card thing and can vividly remember counting the points of my lunch as i packed it for school. the eating disorders i am still currently fighting almost 2 decades later can be directly traced back to that experience as a child. prior to that i do not remember ever caring so intensely about the food i ate and how much and how long in between meals. i don’t understand why parents feel the need to project their own insecurities onto their children who have no say in the matter. it’s beyond f-cked up.
I would always get the “you’re manipulating me!” from my mother whenever I had a meltdown. I get that looking after an autistic child isn’t easy, but certainly you’d learn by now that these things happen. I’m sorry I don’t want you to touch me. I’m sorry that I can’t speak at the moment. I’m sorry that I need you to keep telling what ‘the next step’ is. But that’s just the way it is; I need more support. I understand being frustrated, but it’s not an excuse to tell me off for being overstimulated and needing that extra support. It doesn’t excuse you’re behaviour when you tell me to “just get over it”, or “it wasn’t even that loud”, “you’re making a big deal over nothing”, “stop lying to me”, “you’re just like you’re (abusive) father”, and of cause “you’re so manipulative”. Like what?! And then she’d get mad at me for not sharing things about my day or interests to her, because whenever I did I was “talking too much”, or “over exaggerating”. Once she told me off for being too “overtly ecstatic”. I would have been 14! I cannot help my more obvious stimming, ADHD and autism, am I right?! I became reclusive and wouldn’t interact with her as much as possible, which meant she didn’t see my daily meltdowns or notice when my symptoms increased in intensity. So whenever she saw this ‘new’ intensity, it justified me faking. It’s just so enraging to have to deal with that on top of trying to manage myself. Especially when she’d believe my brother (the younger cis man with lower support needs) over me (the older nonbinary one with higher support needs). It’s very telling who she favours. Saddest part is that I am unable to move out until I get a job, but I fear I won’t be able to hold one because of my disabilities. I’ll end on a quote from her: “There’s nothing wrong with being yourself… but you should maybe do it a little less. You’re too, what’s the word? (me: happy?), no no, it’s beyond happiness. You’re too overly ecstatic… It’ll make people uncomfortable. It makes me uncomfortable. So just get over yourself and act your age”. Again, I would have been 14.
I wasn't diagnosed until I was an adult (AuDHD at 43) and looking back on my childhood, the vast majority of things I got in trouble, and was pretty horrifically "disciplined" for, were all things I had no control over. Talking too much, not eating what was given to me (or asking for food between meals, which I had to do until I was thrown out at nineteen), stimming, not paying attention in class, forgetting things, you name it, I got in Big Ass Trouble for it. And the worst thing is I can't even tell them about my diagnosis because they'd find a way to use it against me. All that to say, you're absolutely not alone in this and I terribly sorry you had to endure it.
are you formally diagnosed? apply for disability state and social security you can get help from if your area has a regional center or center that helps autistic people, if nothing then check to see if there is a disability advocate in your state then keep narrowing the search to county to city. Look online for any and all resources you can there are certain job programs autistic individuals see if that happens anywhere close to you. Just keep looking because it's your life and it's worth it you don't have to put up with the abuse it's just a puzzle that needs to be solved figuring out how to put resources together to make it so you can get what you need to make it on your own. I've been disabled my whole life with abusive parents and had to do the same what helped me most was going back to school and getting financial aid (this only works if you're parents don't make a high income or you are at least 24 years of age, married, on active duty in the U.S. Armed Forces, financially supporting dependent children, an orphan (both parents deceased), a ward of the court, an emancipated minor or homeless like i was.) i even took out all the subsidized loans they would give me so i could get have a cheap place to live, going to community college transfer to a university getting an education in something you are passionate about and figure out a way to make a career for yourself. There are disability student services in all colleges large and small.
My parents believed I was this perfect child, and when I didn't live up to that, got mad at me. When I got depressed because of the home environment, they seriously believed I was on drugs. I never was, but I guess they thought mental illness only happens to people who make bad life choices. I relate much to what you write, even though I was never diagnosed myself. I just want to say that you should try to get friends who understands you, build a network of others that are interested in you and respect you. Those people can help you get out of the situation. I got my first proper job through a friend of mine. I still have issues and have thought about trying to get diagnosed as an adult, but due to sheer luck and having met the right people I have a stable enough life that I don't need that outside help at the moment. It's just a pity I had to do so much on my own, when just a little help as a young adult would've made things so much easier for me. For example, I only managed to study at university level as 30+ and I believe that with a diagnose and proper support, I might've been able to do that earlier. But the key here is: When your parents don't help you out, build your own support network and try to learn as much as you can about how you can make life easier for yourself. Because you will have to become your own parent.
The first one is insidiously _even worst_ than it seems. Grains is one of the hardest groups for the human body to digest. In your stomach, different enzymes digest the different groups. If you don't eat AT ALL of said group, especially during your time growing, the enzymes used to digest it start to DISAPPEAR. So even if one day they do have the choice and want to include grains in their diet, they will hardly ever be able to digest it anymore. And that is a lifelong issue you don't want 😭
The funny thing is…at times, they’ve been the only thing that didn’t cause me pain as a younger teen/older preteen. I had to be careful about acids, proteins, and milk. Can’t remember veggies, but remember all of the others causing pain at various points, but stuff like cheerios never did.
I was called "disrespectful" for refuting my uncle's Moon Landing Conspiracy where he said the moon landing was fake because if it was really on the moon the flag wouldn't wave, which the flag doesn't wave, they had sewn in an extending stick at the top of the flag to keep it out. That's why if you look at it the top of the flag is completely straight while the bottom of the flag is still wrinkled from the fact that they had kept it folded.
The daughter's reaction to Manipulation Meltdown Mary shows that she's always been like this, because the daughter was 100% ready for this. None of this was a surprise, daughter had played this out in her head and planned what to say.
i remember that both my parents started giving me diet pills at the age of 10 and restricted my diet similar to the first girl and it made me gain weight and gave me ED womp womp
womp womp indeed. I hope your mental health is better and your ED is more manageable (if not... in remission? Is that the right term). Wishing you the best, friend
bro, my mum stole $800 from me when i was underage but i was working on acting at the time and I was using that money for school and lunch money. I'm not in contact with my mum anymore thank god.
I don't know about South Korea, but it's not uncommon for the elderly in China to act like loan sharks who's kids are neck deep in debt. Adult kids are pension, expected to provide for their eldery parents in retirement because the government won't.
If someone told me that if I had a child like me and that if i thought it was easy to love that child, then it should be easy to love me too, I would break down crying. I hope that persons mother realizes how hard it is to know that your own mother doesn’t think your problems are not relevant.
I grew up with parents that were very concerned about processed foods which can be harmless to some but I was told that all sorts of foods could cause cancer. At 16 both parents developed cancer leading to my sole diet of organic vegetables along with drowning myself in articles about “bad foods”. I dropped down to 87 pounds and developed anxiety about food to the point of ARFID standards of eating. I would throw up after eating from the fear that the food would make me sick. I’m 31 and just now realizing what has lead me to these habits. I’m still a little underweight but hoping to gain 30 pounds this year!
My mom wasn't an "almond mom", but we did have very strict food rules that made very little sense. We could only have a single glass of milk a day unless it was with cereal. We could only have one glass of orange juice a day because it was "expensive" even though she would drink it all day, not to mention it was that 99 cent frozen shit that you would mix with like a gallon of water. We would only have soda or lemonade in the house around the times we would have guests over because they were too sweet, and while I did agree it was too sweet, I was so desperate for something other than water I would treat it like nectar from the gods. My mom didn't cook so the we ate super shitty food regularly (frozen pizza, mac'n'cheese, chef Boyardee, frozen hot dogs, 99 cent ramen, etc... cambell's soup was a treat when it would go on sale) and would yell at me for eating too much fruit or vegetables because that would make me fat... Thank god for my dad would actually taught us good eating and cooking habits whenever he would take us on the weekend. He may have been poor, but he taught us how to eat well on a budget with healthy but cheap snacks and introducing us to tea, vegetable juice, and flavored water (think spa water, not the shit with sugar in it). *My mom acted like we were poor only when it came to buying things for the older 3, my dad's kids. My 2 younger siblings were always dressed in name brand clothes and got whatever they wanted, including personal TVs. People might say it is because she was older, her new husband had more money, yadda yadda, but I would be here all day trying to give the whole backstory of why that is absolute bs. Long story short is she married my dad because he was rich (baby trapped him) and it was her fault they were "poor". She did the same with my stepdad, but he was able to recover before she divorced him and he later ended up finally leaving her.
As a picky eater who is a parent of toddlers, all food is good food. Everything is good in moderation. I'd rather my kid eat than starve, ya know? And same goes for me
As an American, it actually took me by surprise hearing you say property over a human life. Like...its kinda ingrained in most Americans that if you try to take my property, it's an attack on themselves...which just spells out how materialistic the US is....
26:38 Rudely tell your child she's annoying and drains your energy, then when she tries to explain herself (bc apparently she's a sweetheart in spite of the progenitors), give her whiplash by changing directions and accuse her of the thing you just did to her (putting you down) and act like a victim and when she falls for THAT trap (again, sweetheart and a decent human being), continue to put her down by attacking her and saying she was a horrible daughter. What a horrible human being. Some people shouldn't be allowed to care for living beings.
A toddler doesn't need that much protein to begin with. More than the recommended amount can damage their kidneys, iirc. They even limit fruit?? I'm not for restricting food groups if not really needed, but at least give him access to fruit so he gets carbs and can have the energy to be a toddler/young kid and develop correctly. WE DON'T "EARN" CARBS, WE NEED THEM
Dude why is it so easy for parents to just disown and remove themselves from their child’s life from slightest disagreement. And then they complain that they “lost” their child. Like no you literally threw the relationship away over nothing
Maybe i just have this mindset because im an American, but I absolutely understand having a gun in case of home intrusion. As a small woman who lives alone, I've been thinking of getting one. When someone breaks into your place, its not always that theyre just planning on taking property, but it could also be them trying to r*pe, murder, or kidnap you. There was a horrible case in my town a few years ago of this man breaking into a couples home and torturing them for weeks before killing them. I love my pets and myself too much to let that happen. And even if someone was just trying to steal, hey, the sight of a gun would likely scare them straight.
it’s always funny to hear non americans talk about guns . if someone doesn’t want to risk potentially being shot then they shouldn’t invade people’s homes 😭
@@twyla7053 this was my exact thought watching the video. Kiwi is great and all, but her tangent at the end where she talks about "I would never think that someone deserves to die just for trying to take my property" struck me as a little.. out of touch? Cause not every home intruder is there to steal, some are there for worse reasons. We have the right to defend ourselves against that. And even if they were just breaking in to steal, getting shot is pretty much just the consequences of their actions. I'm not about to try to break into the white house because I know I'll get pummeled by secret service, whether I "deserve" it or not, that's just what happens when you do reckless stuff.
@@direfish211absolutely wild that you think being shot and killed is the appropriate punishment for theft. You’re twice as likely to be murdered if you have a gun in your house vs not having one. You’re also 25 times more likely to be killed by a gun in America. The biggest cause of death in American children and teenagers is guns. Every other country has it figured out and you still think you know best.
@@jessicaahhhhh did I say I know best? No, I said I understand why someone would want a gun. And I also never said that being killed is appropriate punishment/deserved, because it's not really about punishment, is it? It's about cause and effect. If I try to rush the white house and get pummeled by secret service, that's cause and effect. It doesn't matter *why* I was doing it, it's just the natural consequences of my actions. That's why I don't do things like that. My comment wasn't even talking about theft. It was talking about people breaking in and potentially r*ping/kidnapping. That's what I'm afraid of. That's the reason I'd want a gun. To protect myself from horribly things happening to me. Honestly though you do have a point about other countries not having the problems America does. Tbh I don't really know where I stand on the gun issue. I tend to go back and forth. but my comment was meant to illustrate that I get *why* someone would want a gun. As a woman who lives alone and has a history of being stalked, I understand why.
@@direfish211 Right. I was struck by that, too. I said her momma bear has never come out. If someone goes after my loved one, you can bet I could get violent. If it came down to death for my loved one or their attacker, then I'd do whatever to protect my family. I once pulled my dad off my mom because she said she couldn't breathe. I didn't even think twice about myself getting hurt or hurting him. It was that reflexive.
my son is VERY much like me in a lot of ways, for better or worse. Loving and raising him has been simultaneously the most healing and eye opening experience. There were definitely traits of mine he has that frustrate me, but it has given me a new perspective of understanding where he's coming from because I know that when I acted similarly the approach given to me just compounded the problems. Does he frustrate me? Yes, that's literally any person in the world, people are going to frustrate you. But he is not 'difficult' or hard to love... loving him is easy, and being loved by him, standing as a family with him and his other parent (in the face of our other family)... has been wonderful. I am so proud of him.
For the first one, Veggies and fruit also have carbs in them, but grains and pastas and breads is where we get most of our carbs. And we NEED carbs to function. I would consider that child abuse.
Yeah a diet like that at such a young age with no health problems to warrant it is stunting their growth and overall development. They could wind up with chronic health problems in the future because of it. Definitely child abuse in my book.
My mom was like the mother of that poor 9yo. She would fly into rages about us using things normally. Wearing out our shoes, leaving our toys out, eating all the food in the pantry. She acted like 5 children would eat only slightly more than 2 adults.
I had an overbearing over controlling guilttripper grandmother. Everything I did was always wrong and a problem. I always asked if she needed help, she’d say she doesn’t, then guilt me for not doing stuff (or rather guilt me bc she did stuff for me, especially about when I was a BABY), but when I would do stuff she would berate me about how I did it wrong and REDO it. Then when I would tell her she makes me feel terrible about myself and that her personality was part of why my mom continued smoking (which was partially what did her in, but she had her own issues) she would start being like “you don’t even care about me, you hate me, you wouldn’t care if I died-“. But I am a spiteful shit bc she IMPAIRED my empathy with constant guilt tripping and drama she did all throughout my childhood that my emotions just shut down and I don’t love her or care for her bc I know caring hurts so I don’t. Like my dad is casually bigoted, he doesn’t call me by my preferred name nor does he use my preferred pronouns, but EVEN he has told my grandma off multiple times bc I am the MOST ACCOMPLISHED person in our family relative to my age and she was just saying bad shit about me to on a call with him and he was like “did you like ever give them a compliment? Ever told them you are proud? Ever told them you loved them?” And my grandma was like “well that will get to their head-“ and my dad just hung up more or less. Like, I’m starting my masters in bioengineering probs next year at 22/23. I have worked for medical companies (currently in Pediatric NeuroRecovery) as part of my studies. I have finished my highschool with high GPA getting accepted at all colleges I applied to after my mom died, Covid was in full blow, and I moved continents. I never tried drugs/cigarettes, I rarely drink, rarely party. My faults is that I don’t have a boyfriend (nor a girlfriend, I’m aroace), I don’t plan to marry or have kids, I have an alternative style (buzz cut with long sideburn rn, piercings in my ears (I am waiting for other piercings/tattoos since I need help with college tuition and my dad has that rule which I accept), wear non-fem clothes) and I am gonna transition (they don’t even know that one, they just know I don’t id as a girl). Like, there is literally nothing to complain about beyond those. Nothing. I listen, every neighbor trusted me with their kids and they still trust me and love me like their own (more than my own family which is wild), I get good grades/am a hard worker and I don’t do stupid shit. I’m what most parents wish their kid was and yet my grandma can’t even tell me she is proud like lol girl, I ain’t listening to you.
I love these videos so much. I remember shortly after I moved out of my fathers house and went no contact I was feeling guilty about it and reached out in a discord server I was in venting about how I wasn’t sure I did the right thing. I brought up about how I was grieving my childhood dog because no one told me when she passed so I never got to properly say goodbye. And how I learnt about it like a week after it happened from my grandma who has also told me I “got to say goodbye when you left.” That is probably one of the least stressful or traumatizing things my family has put me through and that got an outpour of people being enraged with me for the treatment and telling me that if that was a small thing, then I absolutely did make the right move leaving. There was definitely more that happened, but that was the thing that really made me feel like I couldn’t reach back out to them. It made me lose hope of rekindling the relationship. My dog was the last time I had to that house. Having others react to the things you’ve been through in a relatable yet horrified manner is so helpful when that guilt and questioning comes creeping in.
5:19 I didn't consciously recognize the manipulation pattern until Savannah said the mom was taking everything personally. She's doing the thing where she responds to every criticism, every request to _change her behavior,_ with dramatic displays of how emotionally damaging these terrible accusations are-that way the conversation immediately pivots to protecting her emotions instead of the idea that something needs to change.
The amount of abuse coming from these parents breaks my heart. It’s absolutely infuriating! For the kids who are grown adults, please go NC for your own wellbeing.
For the person whose dad took money out of a joint account at 12:00 (and anyone else with a similar issue)!! Not sure of the laws in other places but in the US, you can ABSOLUTELY sue someone for taking money out of a joint account without your consent. The only tricky part is proving in court that they did in fact take the money and that they did in fact do it without your consent. However, for the person in this video, the text conversations actually serve as proof that the father knew exactly what he was doing, that it was nonconsensual and not his to take. Therefore, they'd have a pretty good legal case against him!! Remember, any time someone screws you over, even a parent, get them to admit to it someway in text (even if you're unsure if you plan to take legal action), it makes further legal processes so much easier
@foxmelanie I mean that definitely wouldn't be a universal thing in the US it would be something controlled at the state level, nor would it necessarily apply in every situation. For example in regards to situational circumstances which effect this would be what type of joint account. If it is a true joint tenancy account then no you would not have any recourse because all parties have unrestricted & equal ownership & access of the funds in the account. However, it is designated a convenience account with the bank when it is set up as a joint account or when another person is added onto an already existing account then the money remains owned solely by the original owner or whoever the designated owner is. This type of account is commonly set up by elderly parents with a child being the conveniency tenant. Even in an example like the one in the video with the texts clearly indicating that the dad had transferred what is implied to be money which was solely his childs' & did so without the child's knowledge or consent if it was a true joint tenancy account then the child would have no legal claims against their dad because by law that money was owned equally by both of them [& anyone else on the account that was true joint tenant.] But, speaking specifically on the example in the video. There is something weird going on in that situation beyond just what appears to be obviously happening. There isn't enough there for me to really make a solid guess as to what it could be [or that clears it up in a way that doesn't seem suspicious or weird,] but there is definitely more to that story that would be relevant to people's interpretation of what is happening [though I am not saying the father is in the right, nor even that he was just not in the wrong.]
"Give me 200 bucks a month for the love and sacrifices of bringing you up" has to be the most toxic thing I've heard in this video. There hasn't been a single child since the history of mankind that had asked their parents to be conceived. No child has this kind of debt to their parents. You can't expect your kids to bend over backwards for you just because you did the bare minimium of dealing with consequences of your decisions.
disappointed that the beatles mom didn't take the bait of "the beatles broke up in 1974. you were born in 1980" by replying with "WRONG, they broke in 1970!!" thus admitting that they did not in fact break up while she was alive...but i appreciate OP's attempt 😂
21:27 This is called commando parenting, removing everything but your clothing, bed and bedding. My grandparents were like that whenever i got grounded, which was very often because they had insanely strict unreasonable rules, as Baptist Christians usually do. No friends, no socializing, no music, no books, no electronics of any kind etc. They went as far as taking me off the school bus so i couldn't talk to friends, didnt allow me to go into my sisters room to talk to her, took away my radio alarm clock and replaced it with a basic one, and no talking to family on the phone. Theres more but those were the craziest parts of commando parenting.
'You didn't even fight for our relationship!' Mother - this is what respecting boundaries looks like. Mommy set some boundaries and daughter didn't push them. This is likely why daughter wanted to have the conversation face-to-face...
Absolutely please do a video on almond moms. My mom turned into an almond mom the second I hit puberty and started gaining weight. I was malnourished for most of my teen years, have had two EDs at seperate times, and still have to avoid weighing myself to this day. I feel like a lot of diet culture nowadays prioritizes the aesthetics of skinniness over overall wellbeing. A lot of people have unhealthy relationships with food and dont realize it simply because they fit the conventional beauty standards for body size. I recently saw a RUclipsr I love develop body dysmorphia and his community responded by *praising* him because he used to have a little bit of tummy flab and had burned it off. Its such an important conversation topic that I feel like a lot of people are either ignoring or unaware of. Would love to see you discuss it.
"i should just pack my sh*t and leave!" - my dad literally everytime he doesnt get his way and then he wonders why im scared of yelling and anger that sometimes isnt even directed towards me
The Beatles were called the British Invasion….. wtf. Also. When my oldest was a baby, we lived with my mom. My car was in my name though. She got mad at me and I (25) decided I was taking my son to go talk to my grandma for a bit so she could chill out. She threatened to take my car like she did when I was young. Like report stolen. I reminded her it was in my name and she couldn’t. So her immediate response was that she’d call and report my kid kidnapped. That also failed so she threatened to call CPS to take my kid. 😬 The patio furniture text stream reminded me of my mom, actually. But my mom would’ve texted that, and also called to scream at me. And if you hang up or try to talk to her, she flips out more. I conceal stuff as an adult still because I’m scared of how she’ll react to things. It’s so dumb.
This topic kinda reminds me of something that happened when I was, like, nine. So, my parents are divorced, and I alternate between houses through the week. One day, me and my mom had an argument, and she asked if I would rather be at my dad's house all the time instead of coming to hers, and I obviously said no. She kept asking that, over and over, yelling at me, until I finally got overwhelmed and broke, saying yes because that's clearly what she wanted to hear. She then continued to say 'well that's too bad because you're stuck with me' and sent me to my room. ✨️manipulation✨️
I needed this catharsis today! Just saw my mom for the first time in years, had a huge heart-to-heart about my struggles with long covid over the last 4 years and thought we had reached something. A few days later, after talking to my therapist, I messaged her to ask if she had done anything, any research, anything as to resources that might keep me from losing my home in the next month or so. Took her 2 days to write back and it was the longest "no" I had ever read in my entire life, but she's super duper duper duper loves me! It's sad how quickly she reminds me why I don't want her in my life. With this video, I feel a little less alone. ❤
My first thought with those Christian parents was that if their kids learn to read the Bible, they can interpret it for themselves. Much better to keep kids ignorant and only believing what they're taught.
Boomers use elipses differently than we do, we see it as an almost sparky pause, and in this case it kind of is, but back in the day when notes and letters were more common, elipses would separate thoughts and save more space than separating a whole line down... now we just send multiple texts in stead of using elipses...
19:20 And for this I'm very grateful that one of my dad's favorite films is "Guess who's coming to dinner" and allowed us kids to watch it. There's a great dialog between the main male character (portrayed by an outstanding Sidney Poitier) and his father that neatly ties into this conversation.
the fact that I need to message my parents but I'm TERRIFIED cos I know they'll react like some of these people is not how parent-child relationships should be.
My grandmother once threatened to 'leave me alone forever' and I told her "don't threaten me with a good time." She's too proud to ever admit she's wrong and I am, indeed, having a good time.
My mom was a damn nut bag about food (amongst other things lol) and would call me fat and mention my cellulite " being an issue....when I was 10 lol like I never even though5t about my body then suddenly was worried af about my "big thighs " and they weren't even big. Anyway I'm 40 now and slowly recovering from binge eating, overall disordered eating . The stuff your parents say has an impact sucks when they tear the kid down due to their own issues .
My mom literally wrote me a novel of a response when I had gotten covid back in 2020 and didn't want to get her, my dad, or my aunt sick when we were all supposed to get together for my dad's birthday. She called me selfish for not coming and I'm like, "bro. You're immune system is miniscule as it is, I'm not coming over just to get y'all sick or worse!" I had to call my dad and let him know why I wasn't able to come over and he actually THANKED ME for staying home to get better and not getting them sick. I still owe him 4 birthday dinners, but I'm not going to get them or anyone else sick. All of them are in their 60s now and that's not something I want on my conscience, you know? I can see my dad being the last parent in the video. He is a gun owner and has said that he's not afraid to pew pew someone. So.... Ye.
"Stop correcting me! You're disrespecting meeee!" I think that mom never left her teenage mentality. Wow, some of these parents are so passive aggressive and fly off the handle so easily! Glad my parents aren't like that.
“I am powerless to defend myself against my own children” is a spin on an alcoholic anonymous saying about being powerless over alcohol. Also probably why that child said “you’re guilting me with my biggest fear” after the dad said “I’m about to drink”. Just some context that really jumped out at me
40:02 property has nothing to do with it. if you break into my house, im gonna assume you're there to hurt me or my family. because it happens, way more than you'd think.
yeah kiwi had me on everything except that. home invasions and kidnappings happen all around the world every day. mass kidnappings of young people happen every day. you cannot assume people live in a "safe" nation like new Zealand. look at central America, look at some African nations, that's for wars. then there's sex slavery on top of it. so no, if you invade my home, you are signing a contract to fuck around and find out.
When I was a kid my parents made almost all our food from scratch, whole grain, and very healthy. But we were allowed to eat literally everything. Junk food, sweets, nothing was forbidden, it just so happened that the meals my parents put on the table were almost all home made and healthy. It's all about balance.
As someone with a lot of pierced holes on one ear (and one on the other) - it’s not that scary and the holes close up nicely if you leave them (you’ll still see it but it doesn’t stay open) and they heal super quickly with minimal/no care. I got all of mine at equivalent of Claire’s too (don’t suggest that, pls don’t do that) but it’s sooo quick.
@@cloudyskyz2237 that’s fair, def research the types of metals they use to pierce the ear/earring they put in, I used to have ear tearing bc I have rlly detached lobes and I fucked up my ears more times than I can count (bleeding and such), still while it temporally sucks ears heal rlly well from whatever you do to them. Like yes, allergic reaction/swelling will always suck (I am not trying to say it doesn’t) but it does go down once you take the issue away quicker than some other places
My mom used to tell me that she hoped I would have a child just like me one day, so I could truly understand how horrible I was. I do and he's delightful. 17 and never gave me a day's trouble.
They're WALMART shoes! Of course they wore out way too quick! They ALWAYS do. Hell, even if they weren't cheap ass shoes, punishing a CHILD like that is insane!
i HATE when parents use the “i must be the worst mother in the world” line… my mom had a few months with me and my sister where she was extremely emotionally abusive. there were times where we would talk about our friends who were being abused, and she would say “maybe i should do that, then maybe you would (listen, do what i say, etc)”
As someone raised in the south of the US I have had a gun pulled on me many times during Halloween while trick-or-treating as a small child. The first time is scary but after that you know to just leave as quick as possible.
40:13 My POV exactly! I’m Canadian and my BF is American and our ideas about “castle doctrine” and all that are such polar opposites it’s mind boggling. I’m like “Dude, this person murdered another because that person broke into their house” and he’s like “Yeah, of course, people shoot home intruders.” Like, I get doing that if you feel under threat for your actual safety, but just because they’re stealing TV or something you’re ready to murder??
Oh god that guy at 38 minutes is basically Stan from American Dad, who's family is so desensitised to his idiocy that in one episode Francine literally has the line "Don't think you can get out of this by shooting me!" It's funny in the show because all the characters are equally insane, but the fact that it happened IRL is astounding. Also ironically Stan is LESS dangerous because at the least he's capable of evolving.
My mom told me that I was no longer allowed to live at her home, told me to never come back. The very next text message was her asking what our mothersday plans were.
thats WILD
My mom pushed me away from home. Russian winter. Evening. 10pm, they called me through the phone, asking, would I go home.
I was and am now at home of my biological father, like she told me to go.
Next day, my dad told me to talk with her and she said that she don't want to see me home if I'm not an obedient servant (summary). I mean, looking through life I was kinda obvious
Month later she called me on Easter begging for forgiveness, crying on the phone (religious tradition). I am forgiving girl, but it was physically hard to say "I forgive you." I just don't wanna her to cry at phone. Of course, she is not forgiven, it's stupid to think that she ever be
And shortly after, she behaved like always, maybe better. She thinks I'm just separated and our relationship has improved.
It's not separation, it's trauma, scar. We not improved, she still a traitor, that sweared of her love in the beginning and pushed me out at the end.
I wish you well. Pls work on stopping the generationsl trauma.
@@pappaOfswe I mean, im not having kids, so it's definitely stopping
Sounds familiar. One day they are nasty and horrible, then the next day they pretend nothing happened. Then later on when you bring up the awful things they did, they switch into gaslight mode and claim that it never happened.
13:49 Fun Beatles fact:
There is an actual video of an interview where a reporter (or someone in that field idk) says to John Lennon, "they think your hair cuts are unamerican".
John responds, "Well that's very observant of them because we arn't American actually".
Same vibes as that woman that tried to buy an insta off someone with her same name for the handle and didn't believe they had the same name bc "no one in America has my name" 😂😂😂 Americans are insane
My step father accused me of witchcraft, because his dog got cancer.
He refused to get the dog help, it spread to his whole body
And he blamed a 14 year old because I liked collecting rocks.
A decade later and its still so baffling how he came to that conclusion as a grown ass man
My dad once accused me of witchcraft because i smushed a spider in the house and while I was going to get a paper towel it got back up and ran off
Obviously nowhere near as horrible as your dad, but what is it with dads accusing 14 year olds of witchcraft??
@@marsmadden1910wow…. I put a deposit on an apartment several years ago I had been shown the property by the co-owner who was a young father of a preschool child and under the age of 25. His wife was in her early forties as was I (somehow the conversation came up that my first grandchild and their first child were born in the same year of us being 38 so we were peers, kind ?) I had a phone call from the guy who knew I was was the Astrology columnist for one of our cities newspapers because it was one of my sources of income when I applied for the place after I sold my house. They do have the right to check that that was it at the time I was also counselor full-time, the newspaper was a weekly arts and entertainment issue. I was called back to collect my deposit check because the man’s wife had Facebook and LinkedIn stocked me sufficiently enough to be scared because I reminded her of the “bad witch “in the movie that came out the Craft year, he was born when she was in high school I would’ve beenin college. It was pretty weird and very inconvenient because I had no back up location to move to and less than a week before I was due to occupy the townhouse. People be weird sometimes they be weird.
Wow. I'm so sorry. I only suffered a very minor version of this and still have severe CPTSD. My parents truly believed everything they were brainwashed with, so they were doing things they honestly thought would help me. They are good people at their core, but are victims of the church. They were always gentle and kind when they would tell me something I had was "demonic," but it still traumatized me. Like, for example, I liked a little figurine that a friend gave me which I guess was actually an Egyptian god/goddess. And my mom said, "Oh no sweetie! We don't want to have anything in our house that represents false gods because that opens the door to demonic activity!" So I cannot imagine how much more you went through and continue to suffer with. Thank you for sharing your story. I hope you are surrounded by people now who you feel comfortable being yourself around
Sounds like he’s got noodles for brains. WOW
@@marsmadden1910 Where do they think the 14 year olds even learned to do witch craft and why
That Beatles conversation was literally the embodiment of "?????????"
Like oh my god, WHAT
that person's mom was born in 1920 and was an active participant in the red scare
“The British Invasion”?? Two of the Beatles are still alive and still public figures and you can hear them speaking in their BRITISH ACCENTS (specifically Liverpudlian)
as a major beatles nerd i almost started crying lmaoo
@@mihaelllkeehl Same here especially when they said they broke up in 1974 😭😭😭
Too many parents seem to have unresolved rejection sensitivity and make everything so drastic. Like...are they okay???
They ARE NOT. I have a parent like this who has severe unprocessed childhood trauma, and instead of coping or recovering he just became more permanently immature. Things are slowly getting better and I reluctantly hope he’ll figure his shit out, but every parent has their own fucked up backstory for why they are the way they are.
@@Sillymodezeenith My Dad used to be like this, and years of me challenging him and family therapy helped A LOT.
I hope things get better for you too!
@@ErutaniaRose Rock on! That's good advice.
FWIW, I figure I should share the other side of that coin: sometimes, you _can't_"therapize" (note: not a word) your way out of a situation because the other person isn't willing to put the work in. If you go to family therapy and that happens, it's not your fault. In that case, maybe try regular therapy!
"Adult children of emotionally immature parents" is a good read.
@@ErutaniaRose well, yes, there are drawn from millions of people, it's more surprising the victims of these parents aren't fully caught up in the drama if raised in it.
Also, there is the possibility this is all made up, certainly the more attention posts like this get, the more people will make this up.
All the popular Reddit AITA posts cover the same topics once they are seen as popular, with he same tropes throughout, always with a villain and people "blowing up" the OPs phone
Last night, I got into an argument with my parents because I "left without their permission". For context, I'm 21 years old and rent an apartment from them and I went out to hang out with my friends for DND.
Do they not realize that you're an adult 😭
@@icedcoffeezx3 They acknowledged the fact that they treat me like a child because they believe that I need/deserve to be treated like one.
Shit like this is why housing should be a right and we need to ditch forcing nuclear family modules on people. Kids are trapped if they have shit parents, with no adults in their life that can help them. And then can't escape as adults.
That's not an argument. Just say no. Build up the tolerance to the uncomfortable feeling of setting boundaries
@@MphoenixEA lot of people have cultural baggage attached. It’s reflex, maybe, to think everyone feels the freedom to confront their elders in such a manner. To step out of line knowing the wrong move could cost you your whole family? Even aunts, cousins, and grandparents?
Not to say that’s happening here, but you need to understand not everyone is going to approach this sort of thing with the same perspective. For all kinds of reasons. It’s easy to say “You should…” but a lot of the toxic stuff they’re probably dealing with starts the exact same way.
"I guess I'm the worst mum ever then." -My mum after I told her I didn't want to live with her for the rest of my life.
Just say yes and let her handle her own emotions after manipulation fails
@@MphoenixE LMFAO after that I just stared at her and said "sure, whatever makes you feel better about yourself" and she started crying
@@technicallyrickylol Good. So happy you did that for you
Why is this a thing?? My boyfriend went through the same drama with his mom when he moved out of her house and in with me. Two years later and she still won’t speak to him. Like what 😵💫
@@erinwhipple4666 They go extreme So we get uncomfortable or focus on comforting them instead the issue we told them about
With the whole Beatles thing, that's literally the most "I'm older than you so I know better" I've seen without actually saying those words.
Some parents are insane. A friend's daughter in law regiments when her daughter can poop. She is only allowed to poop at 8 PM daily. Then mom inspects her poop to make sure that a) she did poop, and b) that it was a proper amount and consistency. The child is currently 7. Her grandmother is saving up an escape fund for the granddaughter for when she turns 18 and can get out of the house legally. Also, food portions are weighed to make sure she is eating the proper amount of foods and food groups.
If this is true then that's absolutely mind blowing. The mom seems absolutely obsessed with her daughter's health and yet will only allow her to poop at one particular time each day? Not only is that HORRIBLY unhealthy but that's just not how bodies even work. What is she supposed to do if a bowel movement comes on her violently and suddenly in the middle of the afternoon? What happens if she literally can't hold it for several more hours??
@@coolbuddy123ify Yep, this child is going to end up "that kid who shit their pants".
Holy fuck that's horrid.
Has anyone called CPS for a wellcare check...? I have a feeling that if this is a thing there's gotta be more going on...best check than not 😕
I don't understand. What happens if something doesn't agree with her stomach and she has an emergency? Even if that doesn't happen and she manages to hold everything until 8 PM, there is no way that's not causing her major discomfort. What is the mom's reasoning for this?? Does she have terrible OCD or something? What about the girl's father? Does he condone all of this? Holy shit that's insane.
Wow...what a shit parent. She would probably love working at a school to tell kids when they can use the bathroom or not.
That "my daughter destroyed her shoes from playing too much" thing just makes me grateful for my own mom when I i was a kid. She always said that the more dirty I was when I came home, the more fun I had. She never admonished me for playing outside and having fun, and she knew all clothes and shoes and things were replaceable. I get not wanting your kid to be constantly destroying their shoes and clothing, but just one pair of cheap shoes in two months getting worn out? That's normal my guy
The funniest thing is that she posted a pic of the shoes (I remember seeing this same post in a video by The Click that showed a pic of the shoes), and they weren't thrashed at all, they were just kinda dirty. If she had completely thrashed the shoes, sure, I'd definitely be annoyed. But they weren't that dirty and they weren't ruined. So now she just wants to take away any sort of entertainment or happiness from the poor kid (no library? She can't even read a book?? What is she supposed to do, stare at a wall?) for just being a kid. My mom would get a little annoyed with me always getting holes in my jeans because I was always rolling around in the grass and being kinda rowdy outside, but for the most part she didn't care. Cuz I was a kid! And she knew what to expect! Kids are messy af. Don't have them if you don't want to clean up after them or have them dirty their clothes and shoes!
My sister and I would come home caked in dirt and so tired that we could barely stay awake in the bath. My parents were overjoyed because it meant that A) we had an amazing day full of fun and B) we'd be out like a light early on and that they would have the evening for themselves.
I got 2 pairs of shoes a year. Nothing over $50 Canadian. One was for indoor gym class and couldn’t go outside or I’d fail gym.
The other? If I wore it through I didn’t get another pair. I could get $1 Walmart flip flops for summer though. I’d be yelled and screamed at for wearing through my shoes. The kicker is I am disabled. I have uneven wear on my shoes because of it.
I spent one winter with no shoes for indoors at high school because they bought be boots that year and my “indoor shoes” fell apart in gym class first semester.
I saved up and bought my own eventually but they wouldn’t even drive me to get them. I had to beg. To this day I sob when I wear through a pair of shoes.
Literally. As an adult i buy shoes knowing they're meant to be worn in. As a full grown adult my shoes get worn out from playing. My heart hurts for these babies oh my god 😞
@@zombieedreayes
I talked to an American with guns who told me that even he found it disturbing how many people he had met throughout his life that actually walks around with a fantasy of k!lling someone in so called self defense.
The true American dream 🤦♀️
Its very disturbing. Its why I don't like open carry or concealed carry
After reading many comments on RUclips videos I did get the distinct impression that many gun owners do see themselves as the cowboy in the white hat.
I am in the UK and despite liking shooting, I find the idea of carrying a gun when going out for any reason absolute madness.
@@grahvis Agree.
@grahvis For any reason? That's pretty absolutist. I can think of a few good reasons to carry.
Bank teller here. As long as he’s a signer on the account there’s nothing we can do. I think it might be a civil case. I Feel bad for her. For others, I recommend to open an account on your own at a completely different bank and close the joint one as soon as you are 18. You only need one person to close it. If it going to cause trouble to close it leave it open with a low amount, enough to avoid the fee, and have the other account receive your deposits until it’s safe to close. Meaning you can avoid your parent’s abuse should they become angry for you closing your account.
I hate that parents do this. It’s right up there with parents who use their kids social security number and open cards and loans many before their even 18. I don’t know why there isn’t something that flags it for banks/credit card companies that this person is a minor.
Those poor kids get stuck with the debt and many places won’t even drop it despite the fact that it’s easily proven that the debt was incurred before 18.
Like it’s not hard matching the date the loan was taken out against the persons age.
heyo! I found out as an adult my parents used my social security number to do all kinds of shit. Even took out government assistance in my name and went to a court hearing. Fucking wild starting life in the negative
Even the chance of it succeeding as a civil law case would, at least to some extent, be dependent on the nature of the joint bank account and the (hopefully written) intentions and rules under which it was set up.
If the co-owner has access to the bank account simply to help monitor finances or such, they could potentially be held accountable. But if it's serious co-owner ship you'd possibly be bang out of luck...
That is not remotely true in every state and for every bank. It's been over 10 years since I divorced and my bank still refuses to remove my ex husband from my account. It was mine for years before we got married. Banking policies allow for all kinds of financial abuse.
How does a bank let u overdraft 2k??!! My bank wont let me overdraft $10
I’m not sure about when you’re overdrafting but I know if I physically go into the bank I can pull out a lot more than if I’m like at an atm. That’s definitely something I’d be asking my bank about though cause oooooof
Depends if you have overdraft "protection" enabled. I have that turned off precisely to avoid something like this ever happening if I were to ever get hacked.
The bank will let you have a larger negative balance when they know your direct deposit will cover it. Plus other things, like having another account linked where they can auto-transfer to cover said overdraft, but that account is also too low.
@@bluevillsplash makes sense... I live paycheck to paycheck so my bank knows I'm not able to overdraft
Credit unions usually have higher withdrawal limits too, like mine is $500 but $2k is still kinda nutters 🤔
Walmart shoes disintegrate sooooo quickly, I guarantee they would have broken so quickly no matter what the kid did
which is kinda great for kids (of a younger age) cause they outgrow them so damn fast anyway.
Not getting your kids new shoes when they need them is just mean!
(also, in my experience... a pretty solid warning sign of abuse, strangly enough. Every kid I knew in elementary school who had a "hard home life" had REALLY dirty shoes)
Litterally my work shoes from walmart just fell apart today lmao holding the soles together with rubber bands as we speak
Not being a better parent to your tamagotchi than these parents are to their human children
Hang on, if that one mom was born in 1980, that means not only was she born after The Beatles broke up, but the same year that John Lennon died!
Welcome back, John Lennon
If you're doing something wrong as a parent, and someone calls you out on that, and your immediate response to it is "So-- I must be the worst then, right?" and you weren't called the worst.. it means you know that what you are doing is wrong but you wanna be validated in it so you don't have to change. And that is so unfair, because you're manipulating others, due to not wanting to be called out when you (at least subconsciously) know that what you're doing is wrong.
"what I did wasn't illegal", "you can't prove I did that" have the exact same vibe as that. Like, if you weren't guilty you'd just explain your side, not immediately deflect. That "oh you just want to make me the bad guy" is narcissistic behavior.
My partners mom said this so many times that he started agreeing with her when she said it and after a short time of him doing that she stopped saying the whole "well I guess I'm just the worst mother" 😂
"Turn on your location or I am going to take your phone."
Have fun doing that when you don't have my location lol
It slays me how many of these parents and others I see are furious that their kid has done something totally normal. "I still remember you telling me to get away from you in stores." So, uh, how *dare* that child hit a developmentally appropriate milestone to experiment with degrees of independence in controlled environments!
My mother did the whole 'oh I am the worst woe is me' thing until the time I was so fed up I just agreed with her. Shut her up quick and she's never tried that line with me since.
Didn’t work for me. Agreed she was the worst and then I was the bad guy who didn’t appreciate her enough 🙄🙄
Some parents can really cross the line controlling their kids and making it worse for them. It shows that even in family relationships, which should be loving, can be toxic and full of conflict but in the end, it all feels pretty pointless and bleak.
I can almost guarantee my mom will be like the mom claiming her child is saying they "don't need her" just because they want down time.
I'm so sorry if your mom makes you feel like that, your mother should never guilt trip you because she decided to be a parent and then you grow up and need to live your own life. Just try to remember, The guilt Trip isn't even about you, it's her own issues that she hasn't dealt with in a healthy way. As long as you're treating her with respect and love, (not when they aren't treating you with love and respect though), you're being a good kid. And no decent mother should ever make you feel otherwise just for trying to live your life. If anyone tries to guilt trip you, when you legitimately have done nothing wrong to them, then you need to either push them out of your life, or put up boundaries that make it clear you will not put up with guilt tripping and gaslighting. My kid is almost 20, and yeah sometimes I feel sad that he doesn't need me as much anymore, but that's my problem, not his. And because he knows he can always talk to me with no judgment or guilt, we have an amazing relationship.. he knows I'm never going to make him feel bad for trying to figure out life and live it to its fullest. No one is a perfect parent, but only bad or dysfunctional parents make their kids feel guilty for just being alive and trying to adult.
@@annkatt3 fr thank you, you seem like a great parent. Sometimes I have days where I'm just in my room because I need time to myself and both of my parents complain about it. It recently got to the point where my dad didn't wanna say goodbye when I left the house to go to work. Now that it is summer and I've got less stressing me out, I've been able to be around my parents more but my mom still says "oh! You never spend time with your dad and I" and I try explaining "I'm usually at work or with friends. And when I'm not, I'm in my room so I can be alone" and I've offered to watch movies, play games, or go out with my parents a ton
@@Mel12722 it sounds like they are grasping at you still being a child, it can be hard to realize your baby isn't a baby anymore. As much as it hurts, they need to let you grow up without making you feel guilty for trying to be independent. In fact, you might want to let them know that it's (sometimes) a sign of good parenting that you can be an independence, responsible person who has friends, a job, and is okay having time to themselves. Those are all positive things. You being aware of your social battery is also a positive thing, and your parents should be proud and glad that you know when to say stop and have some time to yourself. It would be different if you were spending all your time in your room being depressed and not out living, then they would definitely have cause to be worried.. even then they shouldn't be guilt tripping you. Maybe if you let them know that they make you feel guilty a lot of the time it would help? Most teenagers do not spend any time with their parents, I think the fact that you try to is a sign that you're a good kid who appreciates their parents. It's okay for you to start having boundaries with them. I hope I don't sound like I'm talking to you like a kid, this would be the same advice I would have for a friend.
1:34 First of all, a protein intensive diet is maybe not fun for your kidneys. Second, if you don’t giving children carbohydrates, how are they going to produce energy and enrich their minds?
Children need quite a few calories and not a that much protein from what I know (they need it but they primarily need carbohydrates bc they move a lot). It’s also even worse when these children start doing sports and their diets are still restrictive.
True, I mean the only time people and children need high protein low carb diets is for health reasons like I was put on a high protein low-carb diet at a young age because I have reactive hypoglycaemia. But what they mean by low-carb was not a lot of simple carbs, and not a lot of fruit. My diet is very non starchy vegetable rich. I mostly eat animal proteins and veggies as the majority of my diet. I have a lot of allergies so the safest way for me to get proteins is through animal proteins. That being said I eat this way for health reasons so that I won’t develop type two diabetes. But the majority of people, especially children should not have a diet that restricts things to the extent mine does because they don’t need to.
Edit: I also have three sisters and they weren’t put on this diet because they didn’t need it. I did. My mom also has the same diet because she also has reactive hypoglycemia. That being said that didn’t mean I never got to eat carbs or pastas. It just meant those were limited for health reasons.
@@marieonishenko You can also have high protein diets if you are an athlete that requires that protein for constant muscle repair.
@@ryanwalsh5019 carbs are important for energy though. Protien is best eaten after a work out while carbs eaten beforehand give you energy for the sports/work-out. Cutting out carbs is more a big component for weight loss.
@@Lucky_Dagger you don't need to cut anything out to have a high protein diet.
the mom isn't teaching her kids how to read & write so she can discipline her kids by saying "it says here in the bible that kids have to listen to their parents, and you cant refute it because you can't read" like the 1300s
I feel bad for these kids. Reading and writing are the most basic of basics you need to be able to function in the world
So this is exactly how the Catholic Church did things before the Reformation. It’s how they got so much money. The only place that you could hear the bible was when it was read aloud at church. Everything was written in Latin, which the common folk couldn’t read.
Not a Christian, but it *does* say "Honour your parents" in the Bible. It's one of the big rules. You know, one of those rules that ended up on a big stone slab.
@@malcolmdarke5299it also says not to make your children bitter. Also, honouring isn't the same as blind obedience
Please DO make a video on almond moms 🙏 more people should know about it. It sets kids up for failure and eating disorders.
Have you seen the Rowan Ellis video on them?
@@Phoenix_Left No, but i'll check it out!
The Beatles argument reminds me of the time that my mother insisted she was visiting new york & pregnant with me on 911... I was born in 1999.
“You can’t guilt them into it with your culture “. Clearly you’re not familiar with Asian parents. It’s extremely common. Thank god my parents aren’t like that, but they will hold parenthood over your head for the rest of your life. For your money, your time, your lifestyle, everything
the point wasn't that it doesn't happen; the point was that it's a negative thing
We are not Asians, but Balkans my mother is 70 years old I sm 38 with two kids but my mom still expect me to send her money every month even if she has her own, and then if I can't send she is guilt tripping me because she is my mother and I am obligated to take care of her
My mom is so pissed I don’t owe her anything 😂. No, YOU chose to have kids to fulfill your own selfish needs, if anything, you owe ME!
I’m sorry. I chose to have children. It is my responsibility to love, provide for them, and raise them to adulthood. They did not choose to be born and they don’t owe me anything. The expectations placed on you are not fair.
@@audreymcneal8714How on earth can you owe someone who chose to bring you into the world? Parents who pull this shit are horrible.
How is the dude saying ur lazy after stealing money
Literally--because what is the correlation between you being a manipulative thief and me allegedly being lazy?? This man was doing some serious mental gymnastics.
@@coolbuddy123ify yeah dude tbh reminds me of my dad who stole money from me when I was a kid but it was only $20 for beer or something
dude projects more than a film projector during flowers of the killer moon
Projection
It's better than admiting to being a trhief, because then how is he gonna act superior? Gaslight ftw, right?
my mom put me on weight watchers when i was 9 years old. i had this little point card thing and can vividly remember counting the points of my lunch as i packed it for school. the eating disorders i am still currently fighting almost 2 decades later can be directly traced back to that experience as a child. prior to that i do not remember ever caring so intensely about the food i ate and how much and how long in between meals. i don’t understand why parents feel the need to project their own insecurities onto their children who have no say in the matter. it’s beyond f-cked up.
I would always get the “you’re manipulating me!” from my mother whenever I had a meltdown. I get that looking after an autistic child isn’t easy, but certainly you’d learn by now that these things happen. I’m sorry I don’t want you to touch me. I’m sorry that I can’t speak at the moment. I’m sorry that I need you to keep telling what ‘the next step’ is. But that’s just the way it is; I need more support. I understand being frustrated, but it’s not an excuse to tell me off for being overstimulated and needing that extra support. It doesn’t excuse you’re behaviour when you tell me to “just get over it”, or “it wasn’t even that loud”, “you’re making a big deal over nothing”, “stop lying to me”, “you’re just like you’re (abusive) father”, and of cause “you’re so manipulative”. Like what?!
And then she’d get mad at me for not sharing things about my day or interests to her, because whenever I did I was “talking too much”, or “over exaggerating”. Once she told me off for being too “overtly ecstatic”. I would have been 14! I cannot help my more obvious stimming, ADHD and autism, am I right?! I became reclusive and wouldn’t interact with her as much as possible, which meant she didn’t see my daily meltdowns or notice when my symptoms increased in intensity. So whenever she saw this ‘new’ intensity, it justified me faking. It’s just so enraging to have to deal with that on top of trying to manage myself. Especially when she’d believe my brother (the younger cis man with lower support needs) over me (the older nonbinary one with higher support needs). It’s very telling who she favours.
Saddest part is that I am unable to move out until I get a job, but I fear I won’t be able to hold one because of my disabilities.
I’ll end on a quote from her: “There’s nothing wrong with being yourself… but you should maybe do it a little less. You’re too, what’s the word? (me: happy?), no no, it’s beyond happiness. You’re too overly ecstatic… It’ll make people uncomfortable. It makes me uncomfortable. So just get over yourself and act your age”. Again, I would have been 14.
I wasn't diagnosed until I was an adult (AuDHD at 43) and looking back on my childhood, the vast majority of things I got in trouble, and was pretty horrifically "disciplined" for, were all things I had no control over. Talking too much, not eating what was given to me (or asking for food between meals, which I had to do until I was thrown out at nineteen), stimming, not paying attention in class, forgetting things, you name it, I got in Big Ass Trouble for it. And the worst thing is I can't even tell them about my diagnosis because they'd find a way to use it against me. All that to say, you're absolutely not alone in this and I terribly sorry you had to endure it.
are you formally diagnosed? apply for disability state and social security you can get help from if your area has a regional center or center that helps autistic people, if nothing then check to see if there is a disability advocate in your state then keep narrowing the search to county to city. Look online for any and all resources you can there are certain job programs autistic individuals see if that happens anywhere close to you. Just keep looking because it's your life and it's worth it you don't have to put up with the abuse it's just a puzzle that needs to be solved figuring out how to put resources together to make it so you can get what you need to make it on your own. I've been disabled my whole life with abusive parents and had to do the same what helped me most was going back to school and getting financial aid (this only works if you're parents don't make a high income or you are at least 24 years of age, married, on active duty in the U.S. Armed Forces, financially supporting dependent children, an orphan (both parents deceased), a ward of the court, an emancipated minor or homeless like i was.) i even took out all the subsidized loans they would give me so i could get have a cheap place to live, going to community college transfer to a university getting an education in something you are passionate about and figure out a way to make a career for yourself. There are disability student services in all colleges large and small.
My parents believed I was this perfect child, and when I didn't live up to that, got mad at me. When I got depressed because of the home environment, they seriously believed I was on drugs. I never was, but I guess they thought mental illness only happens to people who make bad life choices.
I relate much to what you write, even though I was never diagnosed myself. I just want to say that you should try to get friends who understands you, build a network of others that are interested in you and respect you. Those people can help you get out of the situation. I got my first proper job through a friend of mine. I still have issues and have thought about trying to get diagnosed as an adult, but due to sheer luck and having met the right people I have a stable enough life that I don't need that outside help at the moment. It's just a pity I had to do so much on my own, when just a little help as a young adult would've made things so much easier for me. For example, I only managed to study at university level as 30+ and I believe that with a diagnose and proper support, I might've been able to do that earlier.
But the key here is: When your parents don't help you out, build your own support network and try to learn as much as you can about how you can make life easier for yourself. Because you will have to become your own parent.
"Spawn Point" 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂
If I had my mother on any kind of Contacts, I'd 100% use that
💀💀🤣
i literally changed my mother's contact name to that as soon as i saw it, it's just too genius lol (initially it was just the "🙃" emoji).
My parents are in my contacts as their first names. I feel like that’s as cold as it can get.
@@scarletgoldenthorn That's pretty good yeah ngl
Ours is Mothership in the family group chat, but Spawn Point is better 😂
The first one is insidiously _even worst_ than it seems.
Grains is one of the hardest groups for the human body to digest. In your stomach, different enzymes digest the different groups.
If you don't eat AT ALL of said group, especially during your time growing, the enzymes used to digest it start to DISAPPEAR.
So even if one day they do have the choice and want to include grains in their diet, they will hardly ever be able to digest it anymore.
And that is a lifelong issue you don't want 😭
Yup! This is why I have gluten intolerance now.
@@Mir2-prdx I'm so sorry for you...I have similar issues and it's really uncomfortable...still, best wishes 💙
That poor child
The funny thing is…at times, they’ve been the only thing that didn’t cause me pain as a younger teen/older preteen. I had to be careful about acids, proteins, and milk. Can’t remember veggies, but remember all of the others causing pain at various points, but stuff like cheerios never did.
16:52 the thing is, most christians haven't even read the bible, and have only heard cherry-picked verses from their pastor.
I was called "disrespectful" for refuting my uncle's Moon Landing Conspiracy where he said the moon landing was fake because if it was really on the moon the flag wouldn't wave, which the flag doesn't wave, they had sewn in an extending stick at the top of the flag to keep it out. That's why if you look at it the top of the flag is completely straight while the bottom of the flag is still wrinkled from the fact that they had kept it folded.
Mythbusters actually did a segment on this
Stealing 20k... if that money ain't back on Friday I hope the kid went to the cops and filed a report for that theft
The daughter's reaction to Manipulation Meltdown Mary shows that she's always been like this, because the daughter was 100% ready for this. None of this was a surprise, daughter had played this out in her head and planned what to say.
i remember that both my parents started giving me diet pills at the age of 10 and restricted my diet similar to the first girl and it made me gain weight and gave me ED womp womp
womp womp indeed. I hope your mental health is better and your ED is more manageable (if not... in remission? Is that the right term). Wishing you the best, friend
That is horrible behaviour of your parents. Gosh, I hope you will heal from this ab_se
bro, my mum stole $800 from me when i was underage but i was working on acting at the time and I was using that money for school and lunch money. I'm not in contact with my mum anymore thank god.
I don't know about South Korea, but it's not uncommon for the elderly in China to act like loan sharks who's kids are neck deep in debt. Adult kids are pension, expected to provide for their eldery parents in retirement because the government won't.
If someone told me that if I had a child like me and that if i thought it was easy to love that child, then it should be easy to love me too, I would break down crying. I hope that persons mother realizes how hard it is to know that your own mother doesn’t think your problems are not relevant.
I grew up with parents that were very concerned about processed foods which can be harmless to some but I was told that all sorts of foods could cause cancer. At 16 both parents developed cancer leading to my sole diet of organic vegetables along with drowning myself in articles about “bad foods”. I dropped down to 87 pounds and developed anxiety about food to the point of ARFID standards of eating. I would throw up after eating from the fear that the food would make me sick. I’m 31 and just now realizing what has lead me to these habits. I’m still a little underweight but hoping to gain 30 pounds this year!
I've also heard the term "orthorexia" used to describe an obsession with eating healthy foods.
Good for you! Gain those pounds! NOURISH YOUR BEAUTIFUL BODY! Rise above the fears that kept your weight and spirit down! I'm rooting for you!
My mom wasn't an "almond mom", but we did have very strict food rules that made very little sense. We could only have a single glass of milk a day unless it was with cereal. We could only have one glass of orange juice a day because it was "expensive" even though she would drink it all day, not to mention it was that 99 cent frozen shit that you would mix with like a gallon of water. We would only have soda or lemonade in the house around the times we would have guests over because they were too sweet, and while I did agree it was too sweet, I was so desperate for something other than water I would treat it like nectar from the gods.
My mom didn't cook so the we ate super shitty food regularly (frozen pizza, mac'n'cheese, chef Boyardee, frozen hot dogs, 99 cent ramen, etc... cambell's soup was a treat when it would go on sale) and would yell at me for eating too much fruit or vegetables because that would make me fat...
Thank god for my dad would actually taught us good eating and cooking habits whenever he would take us on the weekend. He may have been poor, but he taught us how to eat well on a budget with healthy but cheap snacks and introducing us to tea, vegetable juice, and flavored water (think spa water, not the shit with sugar in it).
*My mom acted like we were poor only when it came to buying things for the older 3, my dad's kids. My 2 younger siblings were always dressed in name brand clothes and got whatever they wanted, including personal TVs. People might say it is because she was older, her new husband had more money, yadda yadda, but I would be here all day trying to give the whole backstory of why that is absolute bs. Long story short is she married my dad because he was rich (baby trapped him) and it was her fault they were "poor". She did the same with my stepdad, but he was able to recover before she divorced him and he later ended up finally leaving her.
As a picky eater who is a parent of toddlers, all food is good food. Everything is good in moderation. I'd rather my kid eat than starve, ya know? And same goes for me
As an American, it actually took me by surprise hearing you say property over a human life. Like...its kinda ingrained in most Americans that if you try to take my property, it's an attack on themselves...which just spells out how materialistic the US is....
I think it's one of the worst things about our culture but even I still had the same reaction. We suck.
26:38 Rudely tell your child she's annoying and drains your energy, then when she tries to explain herself (bc apparently she's a sweetheart in spite of the progenitors), give her whiplash by changing directions and accuse her of the thing you just did to her (putting you down) and act like a victim and when she falls for THAT trap (again, sweetheart and a decent human being), continue to put her down by attacking her and saying she was a horrible daughter. What a horrible human being. Some people shouldn't be allowed to care for living beings.
A toddler doesn't need that much protein to begin with. More than the recommended amount can damage their kidneys, iirc. They even limit fruit?? I'm not for restricting food groups if not really needed, but at least give him access to fruit so he gets carbs and can have the energy to be a toddler/young kid and develop correctly. WE DON'T "EARN" CARBS, WE NEED THEM
The mom threatening to take the phone of her adult child is the same stuff my mom did before I went no contact lol
Dude why is it so easy for parents to just disown and remove themselves from their child’s life from slightest disagreement. And then they complain that they “lost” their child. Like no you literally threw the relationship away over nothing
I would be ashamed to take money from my kids. wtf is wrong with people.
Maybe i just have this mindset because im an American, but I absolutely understand having a gun in case of home intrusion. As a small woman who lives alone, I've been thinking of getting one. When someone breaks into your place, its not always that theyre just planning on taking property, but it could also be them trying to r*pe, murder, or kidnap you. There was a horrible case in my town a few years ago of this man breaking into a couples home and torturing them for weeks before killing them. I love my pets and myself too much to let that happen. And even if someone was just trying to steal, hey, the sight of a gun would likely scare them straight.
it’s always funny to hear non americans talk about guns . if someone doesn’t want to risk potentially being shot then they shouldn’t invade people’s homes 😭
@@twyla7053 this was my exact thought watching the video. Kiwi is great and all, but her tangent at the end where she talks about "I would never think that someone deserves to die just for trying to take my property" struck me as a little.. out of touch? Cause not every home intruder is there to steal, some are there for worse reasons. We have the right to defend ourselves against that. And even if they were just breaking in to steal, getting shot is pretty much just the consequences of their actions. I'm not about to try to break into the white house because I know I'll get pummeled by secret service, whether I "deserve" it or not, that's just what happens when you do reckless stuff.
@@direfish211absolutely wild that you think being shot and killed is the appropriate punishment for theft. You’re twice as likely to be murdered if you have a gun in your house vs not having one. You’re also 25 times more likely to be killed by a gun in America. The biggest cause of death in American children and teenagers is guns. Every other country has it figured out and you still think you know best.
@@jessicaahhhhh did I say I know best? No, I said I understand why someone would want a gun.
And I also never said that being killed is appropriate punishment/deserved, because it's not really about punishment, is it? It's about cause and effect. If I try to rush the white house and get pummeled by secret service, that's cause and effect. It doesn't matter *why* I was doing it, it's just the natural consequences of my actions. That's why I don't do things like that.
My comment wasn't even talking about theft. It was talking about people breaking in and potentially r*ping/kidnapping. That's what I'm afraid of. That's the reason I'd want a gun. To protect myself from horribly things happening to me.
Honestly though you do have a point about other countries not having the problems America does. Tbh I don't really know where I stand on the gun issue. I tend to go back and forth. but my comment was meant to illustrate that I get *why* someone would want a gun. As a woman who lives alone and has a history of being stalked, I understand why.
@@direfish211 Right. I was struck by that, too. I said her momma bear has never come out. If someone goes after my loved one, you can bet I could get violent. If it came down to death for my loved one or their attacker, then I'd do whatever to protect my family. I once pulled my dad off my mom because she said she couldn't breathe. I didn't even think twice about myself getting hurt or hurting him. It was that reflexive.
my son is VERY much like me in a lot of ways, for better or worse. Loving and raising him has been simultaneously the most healing and eye opening experience. There were definitely traits of mine he has that frustrate me, but it has given me a new perspective of understanding where he's coming from because I know that when I acted similarly the approach given to me just compounded the problems. Does he frustrate me? Yes, that's literally any person in the world, people are going to frustrate you. But he is not 'difficult' or hard to love... loving him is easy, and being loved by him, standing as a family with him and his other parent (in the face of our other family)... has been wonderful. I am so proud of him.
For the first one, Veggies and fruit also have carbs in them, but grains and pastas and breads is where we get most of our carbs. And we NEED carbs to function. I would consider that child abuse.
Yeah a diet like that at such a young age with no health problems to warrant it is stunting their growth and overall development. They could wind up with chronic health problems in the future because of it. Definitely child abuse in my book.
My mom was like the mother of that poor 9yo. She would fly into rages about us using things normally. Wearing out our shoes, leaving our toys out, eating all the food in the pantry. She acted like 5 children would eat only slightly more than 2 adults.
I had an overbearing over controlling guilttripper grandmother. Everything I did was always wrong and a problem. I always asked if she needed help, she’d say she doesn’t, then guilt me for not doing stuff (or rather guilt me bc she did stuff for me, especially about when I was a BABY), but when I would do stuff she would berate me about how I did it wrong and REDO it. Then when I would tell her she makes me feel terrible about myself and that her personality was part of why my mom continued smoking (which was partially what did her in, but she had her own issues) she would start being like “you don’t even care about me, you hate me, you wouldn’t care if I died-“. But I am a spiteful shit bc she IMPAIRED my empathy with constant guilt tripping and drama she did all throughout my childhood that my emotions just shut down and I don’t love her or care for her bc I know caring hurts so I don’t.
Like my dad is casually bigoted, he doesn’t call me by my preferred name nor does he use my preferred pronouns, but EVEN he has told my grandma off multiple times bc I am the MOST ACCOMPLISHED person in our family relative to my age and she was just saying bad shit about me to on a call with him and he was like “did you like ever give them a compliment? Ever told them you are proud? Ever told them you loved them?” And my grandma was like “well that will get to their head-“ and my dad just hung up more or less. Like, I’m starting my masters in bioengineering probs next year at 22/23. I have worked for medical companies (currently in Pediatric NeuroRecovery) as part of my studies. I have finished my highschool with high GPA getting accepted at all colleges I applied to after my mom died, Covid was in full blow, and I moved continents. I never tried drugs/cigarettes, I rarely drink, rarely party. My faults is that I don’t have a boyfriend (nor a girlfriend, I’m aroace), I don’t plan to marry or have kids, I have an alternative style (buzz cut with long sideburn rn, piercings in my ears (I am waiting for other piercings/tattoos since I need help with college tuition and my dad has that rule which I accept), wear non-fem clothes) and I am gonna transition (they don’t even know that one, they just know I don’t id as a girl). Like, there is literally nothing to complain about beyond those. Nothing. I listen, every neighbor trusted me with their kids and they still trust me and love me like their own (more than my own family which is wild), I get good grades/am a hard worker and I don’t do stupid shit. I’m what most parents wish their kid was and yet my grandma can’t even tell me she is proud like lol girl, I ain’t listening to you.
I love these videos so much. I remember shortly after I moved out of my fathers house and went no contact I was feeling guilty about it and reached out in a discord server I was in venting about how I wasn’t sure I did the right thing. I brought up about how I was grieving my childhood dog because no one told me when she passed so I never got to properly say goodbye. And how I learnt about it like a week after it happened from my grandma who has also told me I “got to say goodbye when you left.” That is probably one of the least stressful or traumatizing things my family has put me through and that got an outpour of people being enraged with me for the treatment and telling me that if that was a small thing, then I absolutely did make the right move leaving. There was definitely more that happened, but that was the thing that really made me feel like I couldn’t reach back out to them. It made me lose hope of rekindling the relationship. My dog was the last time I had to that house. Having others react to the things you’ve been through in a relatable yet horrified manner is so helpful when that guilt and questioning comes creeping in.
So many elipses in that story. Who was that woman's mother, The Ultimate Warrior?
5:19 I didn't consciously recognize the manipulation pattern until Savannah said the mom was taking everything personally.
She's doing the thing where she responds to every criticism, every request to _change her behavior,_ with dramatic displays of how emotionally damaging these terrible accusations are-that way the conversation immediately pivots to protecting her emotions instead of the idea that something needs to change.
“I have many mental issues”
“OH SO YOU’RE BLAMING ME????”
“You were not in that sentence at all.”
The amount of abuse coming from these parents breaks my heart. It’s absolutely infuriating! For the kids who are grown adults, please go NC for your own wellbeing.
For the person whose dad took money out of a joint account at 12:00 (and anyone else with a similar issue)!! Not sure of the laws in other places but in the US, you can ABSOLUTELY sue someone for taking money out of a joint account without your consent. The only tricky part is proving in court that they did in fact take the money and that they did in fact do it without your consent. However, for the person in this video, the text conversations actually serve as proof that the father knew exactly what he was doing, that it was nonconsensual and not his to take. Therefore, they'd have a pretty good legal case against him!! Remember, any time someone screws you over, even a parent, get them to admit to it someway in text (even if you're unsure if you plan to take legal action), it makes further legal processes so much easier
@foxmelanie
I mean that definitely wouldn't be a universal thing in the US it would be something controlled at the state level, nor would it necessarily apply in every situation. For example in regards to situational circumstances which effect this would be what type of joint account. If it is a true joint tenancy account then no you would not have any recourse because all parties have unrestricted & equal ownership & access of the funds in the account. However, it is designated a convenience account with the bank when it is set up as a joint account or when another person is added onto an already existing account then the money remains owned solely by the original owner or whoever the designated owner is. This type of account is commonly set up by elderly parents with a child being the conveniency tenant.
Even in an example like the one in the video with the texts clearly indicating that the dad had transferred what is implied to be money which was solely his childs' & did so without the child's knowledge or consent if it was a true joint tenancy account then the child would have no legal claims against their dad because by law that money was owned equally by both of them [& anyone else on the account that was true joint tenant.] But, speaking specifically on the example in the video. There is something weird going on in that situation beyond just what appears to be obviously happening. There isn't enough there for me to really make a solid guess as to what it could be [or that clears it up in a way that doesn't seem suspicious or weird,] but there is definitely more to that story that would be relevant to people's interpretation of what is happening [though I am not saying the father is in the right, nor even that he was just not in the wrong.]
"Give me 200 bucks a month for the love and sacrifices of bringing you up" has to be the most toxic thing I've heard in this video. There hasn't been a single child since the history of mankind that had asked their parents to be conceived. No child has this kind of debt to their parents. You can't expect your kids to bend over backwards for you just because you did the bare minimium of dealing with consequences of your decisions.
disappointed that the beatles mom didn't take the bait of "the beatles broke up in 1974. you were born in 1980" by replying with "WRONG, they broke in 1970!!" thus admitting that they did not in fact break up while she was alive...but i appreciate OP's attempt 😂
There is nothing more damaging than an abuser who believes they’re a victim.
This is why kids go NC with their parents. I've been NC with my dad since 2011 and haven't regretted a single day
25:14 What I want to know is how she plans on taking the phone when she doesn’t even know where they are
21:27 This is called commando parenting, removing everything but your clothing, bed and bedding. My grandparents were like that whenever i got grounded, which was very often because they had insanely strict unreasonable rules, as Baptist Christians usually do.
No friends, no socializing, no music, no books, no electronics of any kind etc. They went as far as taking me off the school bus so i couldn't talk to friends, didnt allow me to go into my sisters room to talk to her, took away my radio alarm clock and replaced it with a basic one, and no talking to family on the phone. Theres more but those were the craziest parts of commando parenting.
'You didn't even fight for our relationship!'
Mother - this is what respecting boundaries looks like. Mommy set some boundaries and daughter didn't push them. This is likely why daughter wanted to have the conversation face-to-face...
Absolutely please do a video on almond moms. My mom turned into an almond mom the second I hit puberty and started gaining weight. I was malnourished for most of my teen years, have had two EDs at seperate times, and still have to avoid weighing myself to this day.
I feel like a lot of diet culture nowadays prioritizes the aesthetics of skinniness over overall wellbeing. A lot of people have unhealthy relationships with food and dont realize it simply because they fit the conventional beauty standards for body size. I recently saw a RUclipsr I love develop body dysmorphia and his community responded by *praising* him because he used to have a little bit of tummy flab and had burned it off.
Its such an important conversation topic that I feel like a lot of people are either ignoring or unaware of. Would love to see you discuss it.
"i should just pack my sh*t and leave!" - my dad literally everytime he doesnt get his way and then he wonders why im scared of yelling and anger that sometimes isnt even directed towards me
The Beatles were called the British Invasion….. wtf.
Also. When my oldest was a baby, we lived with my mom. My car was in my name though. She got mad at me and I (25) decided I was taking my son to go talk to my grandma for a bit so she could chill out. She threatened to take my car like she did when I was young. Like report stolen. I reminded her it was in my name and she couldn’t. So her immediate response was that she’d call and report my kid kidnapped. That also failed so she threatened to call CPS to take my kid. 😬
The patio furniture text stream reminded me of my mom, actually. But my mom would’ve texted that, and also called to scream at me. And if you hang up or try to talk to her, she flips out more. I conceal stuff as an adult still because I’m scared of how she’ll react to things. It’s so dumb.
If my mom had friends, I cannot imagine what lies she would tell them about why we don't talk to her anymore. Luckily for her she doesn't.
This topic kinda reminds me of something that happened when I was, like, nine.
So, my parents are divorced, and I alternate between houses through the week.
One day, me and my mom had an argument, and she asked if I would rather be at my dad's house all the time instead of coming to hers, and I obviously said no.
She kept asking that, over and over, yelling at me, until I finally got overwhelmed and broke, saying yes because that's clearly what she wanted to hear.
She then continued to say 'well that's too bad because you're stuck with me' and sent me to my room.
✨️manipulation✨️
I needed this catharsis today! Just saw my mom for the first time in years, had a huge heart-to-heart about my struggles with long covid over the last 4 years and thought we had reached something. A few days later, after talking to my therapist, I messaged her to ask if she had done anything, any research, anything as to resources that might keep me from losing my home in the next month or so. Took her 2 days to write back and it was the longest "no" I had ever read in my entire life, but she's super duper duper duper loves me! It's sad how quickly she reminds me why I don't want her in my life. With this video, I feel a little less alone. ❤
I love the irony of you complaining about your virtual child/pet in this vid. It has to be intentional otherwise you'd have edited it all out.
My first thought with those Christian parents was that if their kids learn to read the Bible, they can interpret it for themselves. Much better to keep kids ignorant and only believing what they're taught.
I kind of feel like the learn the ABCs thing is about LGBT things
The alphabet mafia is coming to take our children if we teach them their ABCs!
The LGBTQ+ community are the only ones with kids who can read, that's why we're the "alphabet mafia" moniker came from obviously 💅
@@cloudyskyz2237 The L in LGBT stands for literate
Boomers use elipses differently than we do, we see it as an almost sparky pause, and in this case it kind of is, but back in the day when notes and letters were more common, elipses would separate thoughts and save more space than separating a whole line down... now we just send multiple texts in stead of using elipses...
19:20 And for this I'm very grateful that one of my dad's favorite films is "Guess who's coming to dinner" and allowed us kids to watch it. There's a great dialog between the main male character (portrayed by an outstanding Sidney Poitier) and his father that neatly ties into this conversation.
the fact that I need to message my parents but I'm TERRIFIED cos I know they'll react like some of these people is not how parent-child relationships should be.
21:34 you bought walmart shoes. They were destroyed because they're walmart shoes.
Literallyyyyy
And $50 for shoes is nothing! Also, it sounds like it was $50 for all three pairs, which is just plain ridiculous. Of course they're crappy shoes! 🤦
My grandmother once threatened to 'leave me alone forever' and I told her "don't threaten me with a good time." She's too proud to ever admit she's wrong and I am, indeed, having a good time.
I am perpetually grateful that location tracking for cell phones was not a thing when I was still under my parents' thumbs.
Narcissists' worst enemies are set boundaries.
My mom was a damn nut bag about food (amongst other things lol) and would call me fat and mention my cellulite " being an issue....when I was 10 lol like I never even though5t about my body then suddenly was worried af about my "big thighs " and they weren't even big. Anyway I'm 40 now and slowly recovering from binge eating, overall disordered eating . The stuff your parents say has an impact sucks when they tear the kid down due to their own issues .
wow that one dad really said, "you're ugly. you're disgusting. give me $200" lmaoo
22:15 but like what does “destroyed” even look like to this person. Like they’re probably fine but dirty 🙄
My mom literally wrote me a novel of a response when I had gotten covid back in 2020 and didn't want to get her, my dad, or my aunt sick when we were all supposed to get together for my dad's birthday. She called me selfish for not coming and I'm like, "bro. You're immune system is miniscule as it is, I'm not coming over just to get y'all sick or worse!" I had to call my dad and let him know why I wasn't able to come over and he actually THANKED ME for staying home to get better and not getting them sick. I still owe him 4 birthday dinners, but I'm not going to get them or anyone else sick. All of them are in their 60s now and that's not something I want on my conscience, you know?
I can see my dad being the last parent in the video. He is a gun owner and has said that he's not afraid to pew pew someone. So.... Ye.
"Stop correcting me! You're disrespecting meeee!" I think that mom never left her teenage mentality.
Wow, some of these parents are so passive aggressive and fly off the handle so easily!
Glad my parents aren't like that.
5:30 You… could… do… a… whole… video… on… boomer… elipses….
my mother does this when she’s upset with me it’s so funny
they’re so dramatic lmao
Why... Did... I... Read... That... So... Slowly..!
I have no idea what it is about them but they make me so irrationally angry dude
I will say Boomer/GenX ellipses are very different from millennial ellipses. And we never end a sentence with them cuz thats unhinged
“I am powerless to defend myself against my own children” is a spin on an alcoholic anonymous saying about being powerless over alcohol. Also probably why that child said “you’re guilting me with my biggest fear” after the dad said “I’m about to drink”. Just some context that really jumped out at me
40:02 property has nothing to do with it. if you break into my house, im gonna assume you're there to hurt me or my family. because it happens, way more than you'd think.
yeah kiwi had me on everything except that. home invasions and kidnappings happen all around the world every day. mass kidnappings of young people happen every day. you cannot assume people live in a "safe" nation like new Zealand. look at central America, look at some African nations, that's for wars. then there's sex slavery on top of it. so no, if you invade my home, you are signing a contract to fuck around and find out.
When I was a kid my parents made almost all our food from scratch, whole grain, and very healthy. But we were allowed to eat literally everything. Junk food, sweets, nothing was forbidden, it just so happened that the meals my parents put on the table were almost all home made and healthy. It's all about balance.
i both REALLY want those earrings, but then i remember i don't have pierced ears cause i'm terrified lol
As someone with a lot of pierced holes on one ear (and one on the other) - it’s not that scary and the holes close up nicely if you leave them (you’ll still see it but it doesn’t stay open) and they heal super quickly with minimal/no care. I got all of mine at equivalent of Claire’s too (don’t suggest that, pls don’t do that) but it’s sooo quick.
@@venusgin7779I learned the hard way that I’m allergic to the metal they use, so they swelled up and constantly got infections. Not fun.
@@cloudyskyz2237 that’s fair, def research the types of metals they use to pierce the ear/earring they put in, I used to have ear tearing bc I have rlly detached lobes and I fucked up my ears more times than I can count (bleeding and such), still while it temporally sucks ears heal rlly well from whatever you do to them. Like yes, allergic reaction/swelling will always suck (I am not trying to say it doesn’t) but it does go down once you take the issue away quicker than some other places
@@cloudyskyz2237get pierced in a sanitary environment with a sterile hollow needle, and titanium jewelry (labret posts!!!) You can thank me later!
My mom used to tell me that she hoped I would have a child just like me one day, so I could truly understand how horrible I was. I do and he's delightful. 17 and never gave me a day's trouble.
They're WALMART shoes! Of course they wore out way too quick! They ALWAYS do. Hell, even if they weren't cheap ass shoes, punishing a CHILD like that is insane!
i HATE when parents use the “i must be the worst mother in the world” line… my mom had a few months with me and my sister where she was extremely emotionally abusive. there were times where we would talk about our friends who were being abused, and she would say “maybe i should do that, then maybe you would (listen, do what i say, etc)”
As someone raised in the south of the US I have had a gun pulled on me many times during Halloween while trick-or-treating as a small child. The first time is scary but after that you know to just leave as quick as possible.
I can remember at my old work that some guy randomly said to me "i hate my fucking kids" right in front of his wife and kids
I find it very strange that so many parents think there’s a switch that flips on a person’s eighteenth birthday.
40:13 My POV exactly!
I’m Canadian and my BF is American and our ideas about “castle doctrine” and all that are such polar opposites it’s mind boggling.
I’m like “Dude, this person murdered another because that person broke into their house” and he’s like
“Yeah, of course, people shoot home intruders.”
Like, I get doing that if you feel under threat for your actual safety, but just because they’re stealing TV or something you’re ready to murder??
Oh god that guy at 38 minutes is basically Stan from American Dad, who's family is so desensitised to his idiocy that in one episode Francine literally has the line "Don't think you can get out of this by shooting me!" It's funny in the show because all the characters are equally insane, but the fact that it happened IRL is astounding. Also ironically Stan is LESS dangerous because at the least he's capable of evolving.