A Troubled Marriage Is Not What Caused An Affair
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- Опубликовано: 4 окт 2024
- Do you feel like your troubled marriage is what caused the affair? Oftentimes trouble in the marriage can appear to be the reason someone has an affair. But in my experience and opinion, the cause of infidelity is much deeper in the heart of the unfaithful than a troubled marriage.
My name is Stacey Chenevert and I am an infidelity recovery coach. My mission is to equip people with the tools needed to promote healing, growth, and complete transformation after infidelity, through nonjudgemental, authentic coaching. So you can heal from the past, live in the present, and become the woman you want to be without fear of the future.
If you would like help learning how to heal from infidelity and transform your life. I offer a 30 minute 1:1 chat. app.squarespac...
Podcast-anchor.fm/stac... on all platforms- Healing A Woman's Infidelity
If you would like more information and tips on how to end an affair, you can read blog post here:moderndayeve.c...
My course on How To Survive The First 30 Days After An Affair Ends: Free when you sign up for four sessions.
If you are a betrayed spouse and would like help learning how to reconnect with your spouse and heal from the emotional trauma infidelity has caused you, email me at stacey@maoderndayeve.com
SCHEDULE A 30 MINUTE SESSION WITH ME: app.squarespac...
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DISCLAIMER: The content in this video is intended for informational purposes only and should not be used in place of professional therapy.
I know the thoughts and plans I have for you says the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11I know the thoughts and plans I have for you says the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11
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As a betrayed spouse, I really appreciate the acknowledgement of issues in the marriage causing vulnerability, but also the identification of personal responsibility within that vulnerability.
When I found out about her affair, my wife decided to tell me, "This doesn't happen in a loving marriage." I've seen other spaces acknowledge issues in the marriage leading to vulnerability, but as a betrayed spouse it often comes across as another way of being told that I deserved being hurt in that way.
The truth is that I was in the same marriage, facing the same vulnerabilities. And I responded by trying to talk about it to fix it, then remaining true to my values and protecting myself from acting out with someone else.
She responded by deflecting, lying and pretending the issues weren't real (preventing us from fixing them), then betraying me and blaming me for it.
Hi, yes it's never the betrayed spouses fault for the affair. It's how we responded to hard times in the marriage. I'm sorry you had to go through this, infidelity is so painful and destructive. Much love ❤️
My betrayal took a similar path . I had been going for counseling alone . He refused to accompany me , blaming me for being sick because my sainted mother buried three children and I felt her pain . Amazingly my mother never lost her sanity nor her faith which is the season I believe she is a saint.
Thank you for your courageous work. Interesting to get your perspective, from a betrayed spouse, respectfully.
Thanks for sharing and being real. Praying for you as you care for your mom and encourage others.
Thank you 💕
Thanks so much for these videos and information. I just came out of an affair a couple of months ago and didn't know where to turn. These videos have been so helpful. Thank you again.
Welcome
I’ve been watching your videos and I’m absolutely floored. I’m currently living through literally everything you’re saying in your videos. I just ended a 5 year affair and I’m dying. We were never caught and nobody knows. I’m walking though this alone and I need help! I’ve been desperately looking for someone I could confide in and get help from and you’re the only person who is addressing where I am right now. Do you counsel men too? Are you a licensed therapist and how can I talk to you?
Hi, yes I do work with me. I am also a certified relationship coach. And you can email me which will get you in faster than if you go through my calendar. I know its hard, just remember you can through this and you are not alone.
My advice is to just get out of it. It. Naver works or you. Be. Sorry it you need to look after yourself in this world thankyou 🇬🇧🙏😘
I recently discoverd my husbands affair with a married woman, and he said now that ist not true, denies it, but found out 5 deposit slips in his wallet going to the woman
Stacey can you plz make a video on how to deal with insecurities after ending an affair with an Affair partner especially when you are the single one and the affair partner is taken, married and happy.
Yes!! Great idea
Here’s one- don’t get involved with anyone that’s married! Thats so desperate in so many ways! Did you think about the spouse and her feelings? Stop being selfish and grow up! No sympathy for that behavior whatsoever! Home wreckers are damaged goods!
Agree 100 percent
Great video
I'm not sure I agree with her. There are various reasons why women have affairs, but the majority of women I've encountered through my life can be pin pointed to attention and validation.
Validation is a n÷Ed that stems from a core wound
Stacy,
My wife is im almost sure is in limerance.
What is the difference of rebounding vs limerance, limerance can lead to an affair, which she did. But rebounding is after a breakup.
Does limerance lead to a longer issues than rebounding
Technically if she was in an affair it is no longer limerence. Once feelings are reciprocated, it becomes romantic love. Which makes it harder to end an affair. Now rebounding can occur after an affair because the person is trading one addiction for another.
So do you think she will end it? She is moving in with the ap and has moved on
So since its no longer limerance and not considered a rebound, it is an affair that has to play out
Its hard to say what she will do but most affairs don't last.
What causes the affair? My husband, i discovered had an affair with a married woman
Poor coping skills. Often related to traumas
A lack of morals causes the affair. The idea that nothing is wrong with an affair or that it can be kept secret. They soon realize that nothing is right about an affair and it can't last.
I love your videos but I wish you wouldn’t use religion in them for those of us that don’t believe in it and still need help. Can you give us other solutions then god and prayer
I try to incorporate many practical ways to recovery but I can not seperate my experience with Jesus from what I teach. Because this is my testimony of the goodness of God and all that he has done to heal me and my marriage. For me it's not religion it's all about relationship with the real Jesus.
I don’t agree. Troubled marriages are the exact kind to experience infidelity. You yourself had a troubled marriage and infidelity.
A troubled marriage triggers an insecure attachment style which is what causes a person to cross their moral boundaries and have an affair. A troubled marriage is surface level issues. To prevent future infidelity we have to look beneath the surface at the root cause.
Lack of moral boundaries. Some people just don't see an affair as something immoral. They feel entitled to have someone who is not their spouse. But, the affair is not legally binding and people usually end the affair or hide the affair partner instead of going through the upheaval and expense of a divorce.