How to Respond to Passive Aggressive People & Judgmental People: Communication Skills Training Video
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- Опубликовано: 21 окт 2024
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In this professional communication training video on how to respond to passive aggressive people & judgmental people, communication skills expert, communication coach Dan O'Connor shows you how questions can turn the tables on people who want to fight while they appear totally innocent. Dan gives you the words to shut down people who attack you while claiming not to do so and attempting to appear innocent. This professional communication skills training video teaches you simple, powerful, and easy-to-use visual communication strategies that you can start using today to be seen as more powerful and competent at work. #judgmental #respondingtojudgment #communicationskillstraining
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The first time I saw a certain therapist I questioned him with one of your sayings. "Why would you say that?". His reply to me was "I don't think we are going to get along". He was right!
Good, I hope I helped save you a little money on that one Claudia. :)
Dan
"Experts" are often in their field, to play games, to lord over others. Their definition of "getting along" means others "bowing down", letting them rule them. They're in it for (abuse of) Power.
His response was: I don't think I can manipulate you, you are smart enough to not let me fool you.
Amazing that this person was exposed right away 🤗💪
@@TheWizardOfWords
FYI:
A Resource for your Subject:
*A Sociologist/Behavioralist's quick Summary on the subject:*
Judgemental is a trait associated with our Human Lower Mind, aka (Ego Mind, aka Adolescent Mind).
🔹All negative Thought Energies reside in the Lower Mind: (fear, prejudices, Judgemental, envy, jealousy, hate, anger, etc, it is also the area of thought that includes "the Lackings": lack of balanced Self-Love, self confidence, self esteem, self worth, etc.)
*The Higher Mind aka Mature Mind is where all Positive Thought Energies are found: Love, Joy, Creative, Laughter, Passion, Wellbeing, Happiness, Compassion, Inspirations, etc, it is where Wisdom resides.*
*In order to establish a Mature Mind*, we must first make a habit of being *"Conscious in Thought" (present in the Now) + "Apply the Higher Mind".
With the desire to gain greater Harmony in life and to be a fully Mature Person, the desire + "patience and continued practice", *ne will form a new habit in time.
Considering the "Universal Law of Attraction" defines that we each Create all of our own experiences/Reality through our:
*"Thoughts+ Feelings X Beliefs"*
*= "our Reality"*
Then clearly it 8s in our best interest to establish a habit of Higher Minded Thoughts.
🔹Our Thoughts are literally our Power, to worry over what others think or say about us is to give our Power away.
The Emotional Development of an individual varies from (child like, to adolescent, on to Adult, and continues to Mature Minded, even further to Wise.)
The level is directly related to the Higher or Lower Mind, and often a blend of both.
Most never have the information on this to realize there's an opportunity to improve and once mastered, it offer a whole other level of happy and vast positive benefits.
Each when they are ready, will find this info, and they will grow, evolve up into their Higher Value of Self.
Beth
a Sociologist/Behavioralist
PS:
How to respond? (Don't)
"Judgemental people always say more about themselves than You when they are Judging others."
If they are Gaslighting, then they are a Narcissist Personally Disorder and the answer is "Do not respond", detach from the individual and seek advise from a Therapist that specializes in "NPD Victim Therapy".
I would encourage these be considered when producing content on the subject.
... and I'm neither reviewing nor Judging your video. I'm merely sharing sound professional information.
Best Thoughts...
This is great. The typical response I get from passive aggressive people when I go with step 2 is a justifying statement such as "you're being too sensitive" or "Don't take it so personally". The irony of it though, is that... What I come to find is that they're the ones that are "too sensitive" or "taking things personally" as if they're projecting their own insecurities on to other people & using it as a verbal defense mechanism.
that's a very good comment shechshire that I deal with too. They also tend to try to make fun by saying "no haha Did i get you mad?" or something saracastic.
I agree, I get told this even though I am more resilient to these petty judgments than most and get told I'm too sensitive by my family. BUT........ if I believed that a person were sensitive, I would HOLD BACK from telling them what I thought/what to do!! Why go ahead and heap a load of criticisms or judgments on a person if you already believe that they're too sensitive.
Yup the PERFECT narcissistic way...PROJECTION!
@@asstanley8438 SO TRUE & WISE! VERY WELL PUT TY!!!
@Deanna Andrade Use sarcasm creatively.
I think this is becoming the age of the Passive Aggressive... I don't understand why people are like that, but does anyone else agree? 😃
+Rick G I agree--because when your behavior is passive-aggressive (rather than overtly aggressive) you can always say "Well, I was just joking" or "You misunderstood." You don't have to take responsibility for your behavior as you would if you were being overtly aggressive.
YES!!!!
i agree
Rick G .... um yeah, my spouse is so very passive aggressive
Yeah they're childish cowards.
“What gets rewarded get repeated.”
Wow! Thank you for this powerful phrase and EXCELLENT strategy of repeating back the judgement in an exaggerated way with a closed ended question. SO grateful to you💙🙏
Omg this is sooooo helpful. I have friend who is always doing this and I can’t be myself anymore. She’s critical and judgmental. It’s a huge turn off.
"are you saying i'm trying to make myself ugly?" I like that!
Thank you! My mother in law is TOXIC and I have had enough. She’s driven 4 of her children away and she thinks she’s the victim. 🙄
i'm a mother in law, a term i hate because i'm not my DIL's mother, i want to be her friend, so I continually try to act like a ffuend. Sorry you have a MIL so shortsighted in what she's giving up
I really appreciate this insight on how to train them not to pick you for their audience, since you can't change another adult's attitude or communication habits. Helpful! Thank you.
Hi! Just a quick reminder that if you have a question for me, and send it in a video format, I will try to answer it and then post the answer on RUclips. I wish I could engage in personal email communication, but unfortunately time and scheduling doesn't allow for that. Videos via RUclips will answer your question, and hopefully help others as well.
Dan
***** Hey Matthew, I greatly appreciate your comments, even the ones where you don't agree with me. (The passive-aggressive video, e.g.) Go ahead, I CAN TAKE IT!
I am watching your videos back to back! At first, I found myself in a "pickle" and lacking the tools to effectively handle a problem I am having. Now I am more confident about my stance and I am taking notes on how to be a power, positive, and productive communicator. Thank you for the advice!
+Colby Alexandre You're very welcome Colby!
Dan
You’re so comforting and a wonderful mentor. So glad that I found you! It feels as if you truly care.
Brilliant, thank you for sharing this, Dan. It’s important not to let these outside judgements aggravate us because opinions are not facts - more a reflection of people’s own criticisms of themselves projected onto others. Standing by our decisions and staying calm (as best we can) in these situations builds resilience. #ThreeSecondLook 🙌🏻
Excellent, Linette. I couldn't agree more.
Awesome! I'm a new manager and I'm so scared of putting a foot wrong or saying something that could be used against me and these are definitely tips I will use in engaging with negativity! Thank you!
"Judges don't like to be judged." This concept works great. If you have a sort of toxic or abusive boss like I do, one who doesn't always know how to control himself at times, but one who also ISN'T narcissistic and will accept feedback, you can win with a well-crafted critique and "review" of them and their behavior and how it affects people. I've done this during one on one meetings and some bosses can be left stunned. If you document everything, bring examples that they know are true, bring proof of things (if applicable), it is hard for them to deny and they may not even realize they are this bad. This is especially true if you outline specifically how it ruins productivity and people's morale. It takes you from someone who at the start...might be taking some unfair criticism or abuse at the beginning of the meeting, and ends with your boss feeling like they have no place to criticize you at all and maybe even feel afraid to be fired in the event that other coworkers may feel the same way and it gets to the wrong person. Of course, even if you hate your bosses guts, you have to fake and do this in a constructive way.
Interesting, Mulder's Mayhem. And of course the manner in which you approach your boss is critical (hopefully constructive). Kudos to you for realizing that not all difficult bosses are narcissists. In fact--very few of them are, but that's the brush with which they're smeared. Most difficult people are just doing the best they can--and can withstand criticism if presented in a non-threatening manner.
You teach people how to be smart-asses. Love it.
+Aneeda Love Hewitt Aneeda, I sincerely hope I help people become clear communicators.
Please make a video on how to talk to people that are simply aggressive in nature and accusatory!
That would be my Grandmother. You cannot win-for-losing with her!
For years I rewarded judgemental personal comments by getting upset (sad, shocked, indignant) and trying to explain that the judgement was unfair.
I've been practising seeing that it's all about them, not me.
I'm going to try your 2 steps, Dan. Thanks.
1. Repeat the judgement in an exaggerated way, and
2. Ask a clarifying, closed-ended question which makes them confirm or deny their intention.
Accept that he has an issue, like a mental disorder, and ignore. You can’t help him, nor he can do you any good.
Thank goodness I found someone to help me, actually discover tools to use to 'handle' individuals that like to push my buttons; and on and on, with communication issues i've tried to learn more about (but until now, most advice didn't nail it!) Thank you!
These videos are a godsend. I'm going back into the work place. I have to deal with these people all the time. You're about to make my secular life a lot easier. Thank you so much!!!
You're welcome Brittany, and be sure to subscribe and share!
Dan
Effective Communication Skills With Dan O'Connor Already did ☺
I LOVE this one. It's such great advice. It's easy to do and really makes the judge take a step back and look at how what s/he says affects others. My favorite line, "You can train others how to act around you." -Michelle
Good points. Do not tolerate passive aggressive behaviors against you.
So what would you do, if the person had a pattern of conjuring blatantly false accusations, and never tolerating the truth? Like, you're being the quiet one in the conversation, and they angrily accuse you of talking too much, while in blatant fact, they are the one who is going on and on? No one can tell this person anything, they won't tolerate it; everyone knows it, so no one tries. It's not like their strife-mongering, accusations or abuse is a reaction to someone else's antagonism. They just strike out of the blue, blindsiding the listeners, as though they are deluded, irrational, outside of Reality. They ask questions, seemingly sincere, like regarding a shopping list, for example, but don't tolerate answers. Brief, direct answers are accused. One can answer them with Yes or No 4 times, and they still come back with an angry " It's a Yes or No question! Just answer the question!" It's like they aren't listening, and they have no hearing problem, at least not with their ears. What if one can't just cease contact, at least for the present?
Dan, doing my MBA at the moment and really wish they had more of this! Fantastic insight, and you've been more helpful than you think! Keep it up!
Thanks for the encouragement, SI.
Dan
Ha! Wish I had watched this video earlier. Deal with this personality with my manager all the time. I have 4 weeks of work left and will practice this and enjoy my last days! Thank you!!
Hi Dan, I am a newbie subscriber to your RUclips page. I wanted to send you a big thank you for your life changing tutorial video on communications. I can say by recently following some of your advice. It tremendously made a difference on how I interact with my co-workers as well as my relatives. I am extremely grateful to come across your video. I enjoy watching your show and I look forward to seeing your upcoming post. Thanks again!
Thanks, I'll put this to use.
Antagonists are my thorn at work. I have a thin skin and some people seem to just smell it and needle me in ways that only myself and they know they're needling while we're in the presence of others/bosses. So, I've learned of course not to bite the hook but there are those times when I can't resist. That's when I'm around a really skillful antagonist. I've read books, done transformational seminars and talked to a therapist. I still seem to almost be a slave to my need to aggressively confront these individuals sometimes. Antagonism is so vast and vague, explaining why there's no 'how to' around the subject. AND, I'll still watch your vids and vids like it. Great to have folks like you out there making a difference. Thanks.
I highly appreciate your work. Have my like.
Thank you so much for this. I believe communication is the key to understanding one another, and maybe even the key to peace and happiness. Thank you for Mr. O'Connor
Thanks, Rosetta. I agree that we'd have more personal peace and certainly more global peace if we were better communicators (and simply better people). Dan
The problem with exaggeration is it's a strawman argument is it not? Could I be called out by the judge for putting words in their mouth? I could see this backfiring.
TacticsTechniques&Procedures My thoughts exactly. It seems like it could end up appearing like you are irrational or something.
My thoughts exactly. It’d be better to take the judgment to its logical conclusion.
Are you planning to do the party next year then? Would it have been better if she didn’t plan the party at all? What theme did you vote for (knowing they didn’t participate)
Exaggeration can easily be called Dishonesty, a dishonest Ploy. Commenter Paloma de pdx shared an apt (and I feel, a wise) response in this comment-thread.
What I find works for me is a simple, "What do you mean by that?" and other questions that will make them answer it themselves so you can't be accused of making false assumptions. Most of the time, they will just walk away because they're not going to let other people know that they really have ill intentions.
I am really liking your videos. It's great to have all these new social experiments to try! You give me a lot of food for thought. And I find your presentations here very charming. Thank you.
Omg! This was soooo helpful. Thank you so much, I'm so glad I found your channel :)
Hey Iam; I'm glad we found each other too! Please be sure to comment as you watch other videos--and of course like and share. That's what allows me to keep producing these videos.
Dan
ha, an oldie but a goodie! and this inspires me to search your channel to see you've addressed judgmental anywhere else, thanks!
I am that person! I HATE that part of me - that critical spirit. Ugh! I’ve learned to keep my mouth shut but it’s ALWAYS on my mind.
Thank you for your videos. Ive subscribed :) For too many years Ive been letting people get away with saying just about anything to me. Well not anymore! Im going to take more time to think and respond with these techniques and not carry the torch of negative energy theyre trying to pass on.
+Tenyka
YOU GO TENYKA!! And I'm grateful that I could be of help to you!
Dan
Flawless Video! Just what I needed Dan! Thanks so much. I have been in slavery with a Passive Aggressive wife for years and didn't know why I was always feeling like a victim until I learned about PAD. I used your 2 step way of dealing with her and "magic!", I got some clarity in her! Dan, I subscribed! Will hit your site asap, and intend on ordering your class soon. Thanks!!! You are a Cyber Diamond!!!
Hi Dan! Thanks for this great video! I will practice this!
I was just wondering though, what if you are with a good friend who makes a comment about a country-themed party, for example. I mean, sometimes friends will comment about things together. Do you ever do that with your friends, or do you never make a judgement of dislike about something? I am genuinely asking this because I am trying to learn how to best interact. Or is this for extreme cases of constantly judgmental people or people that are hitting at you? Thank you!!
Yes, GG, this isn't for casual comments or observations or judgments. There is nothing wrong with disagreeing. However, this video is for people who are judging YOU OR YOURS and are trying to put you down. They're not judging something you're doing (though that's bad enough), they are judging who you are--as a parent, as a child, as a . . . .
@@TheWizardOfWords Thank you!!
Dude! I love your videos! Keep up the great work!
You're great! Thanks for sharing your helpful advice.
Thanks, Erin--and please like and share!
Dan
I often find just keeping a blanks face works. for example when my colleague is being passive aggressive I look blankly at them and when they are being genuine I am too.
Squigg, I threw my back out turning sideways to examine your picture, to prove to myself you are not my brother. You are almost identical twins; scary. . . . BTW, I agree that the blank face can be effective. Takes a certain personality type to pull it off--e.g. my brother--and you.
Dan
I really need to learn with your video how to deal with my workmates. Thank you so much.
You are so welcome!
Great channel. I like the way you communicate. Great man can help a lot of people who neglect the fundamentals of proper communications. I love the suggestions and have been using them for a long time to stop the behavior of the people around me. Believe it or not teachers as well. So very interesting stuff, There is nothing better than being a very good communicator. It will serve you endlessly in every situation.
Way to communicate, Dan! Thank you for sharing this :D
Hi Dan! I'll have to give these tips a try. Usually when dealing with passive aggressive judgemental people, I would just answer their judgement by pointing out something that THEY are not excelling in. For instance I'd say, "Oh you don't like Mary's party theme? Why didn't you help her? You're always so quiet when we ask for ideas. You should offer to pitch in more or are you not a very creative person." Translation: Don't talk crap about Mary when you had nothing to offer.
Does that make me passive aggressive as well or just aggressive? Hmm...
Thanks for the post!
I'm so loving your material and the fact that you come across as genuine every time. In the past I have had people attempt to deliver some of these messages, but their body-language and tone were so... hmm, fake?... that I didn't really ever take their 'words' on board. Love your work. Lover your engagement. Love you:) Ah, in a 'love ice cream and chocolate' kind of way. Not stalker kind of way. Cheers
Great ideas ... again ! Thanks you are inspiring and very savvy with your suggestions. I really appreciate and love to hear your presentations... I've learned so much. Cheers
Thanks, Steve. I appreciate your taking time to write. I have several new presentations coming up soon, and I welcome you aboard!
Dan
This was fun, and helpful. Thanks!
Are you saying I should engage with passive aggressive people? to hell with that, tell them f-off before you kick the living crap out of them, this method works so well that you never have to speak to them again. ;).
+Joss Cues You sound like a fun guy, Joss!
+Joss Ignoring it is not a solution. There are times when people in charge will try being passive aggressive with you.
That doesn’t work when it’s someone you have to work with often. You have to be tactful
I just ignore them. It's useless. It's just your imagination and I focus on the now. So what they think? It really doesn't matter. Won't get me what I want.
I swear by jesus I will put your advice to action today, am fed up . I will come back and update you on how it went! Yessss!
I love the horn sound affect it makes it so cute and funny I love it thanks
what happens if they don't polarize, and defend their judgement?
great tips. and hilarious sound effects.
I think that might be a great time for a hamburger followed by a navigational phrase. For example, "Jean, when you judge people like that, I feel uncomfortable because I care about these people, and I care about you too. Why don't we change the direction of this conversation and talk about what we're going to bring to the party. . . (or whatever you want to talk about instead)."
Of course, there are a million ways to:
1) don't reward the behavior or take the bait, and
2) change the subject.
For example, don't know what to say? Just give the three second look, and start a sentence with, "That reminds me . . ." and talk about whatever you wish.
I hope that helps!
HAHA! I'm glad you liked the sound effects. I try.
yeah they really support your energy, and help to carry the video and keep the viewer watching. thanks for the advice. i'll keep honesty in mind. i'm an honest and blunt person anyway, so i'm not too worried.
@@TheWizardOfWords What if they are such a belligerent person, that they won't tolerate a sensible, countering reply from anyone? One could never get a reply (like you suggested) out of their mouth without this person cutting them off with another belligerent false accusation. No one can tell them anything.
@@cacatr4495 Give them what the relationship requires--distance. Why would you want to hang out with such a person? And even if it's a boss--don't defend; don't argue. Give them silence and distance. Remember, it is all about you. No one can force you to be defensive or aggressive and no one can force you to cry. WALK AWAY.
Dan
Thankyou Dan! I wish you would share some advice on how to train your "kids" to behave around you and to train them to be confident, "good hearted" people. Wud really appreciate something to that effect. Bless you!
Malee, I can tell you in one sentence: YOU be an example of the confident, good-hearted person you wish your children to become :) :). Your example is by far the best teacher.
Excellent. This really works. Thanks
That's awesome...thanks! I have someone at work who is constantly complaining and judging, I will try this.
Omg 😂 you imitate excellently . It’s fun to watch you 😂
You are the best! Thank you for great advice
Great Video! Love the 2 part questions. But how do you deal with a passive aggressive supervisor. I have a supervisor that purposefully leaves me out of a team meeting, and takes away duties from me without explanation or feedback.
I think it’s a great idea, however, I wouldn’t chance it in my work situation.
I have a boss who would like to feel that he’s BFFs with me and this other guy. But, as this other guy wants my job, he seems to try to want to embarrass me in front of our boss - and my boss doesn’t seem to recognize this blatant effort - until it looks like I don’t like it. Then, thinks I should talk to them both about whatever “my” issue is.
When my boss later asked if I was OK as, he knew that I’d said I hadn’t gotten much sleep the night before, I replied that there was a problem, but that it wasn’t mine and he mumbled, “I know.”
Of course, my feeling was, if you know, why don’t you say something!? I’ve even tried to kern it so our meetings aren’t set up so this coworker can play the asshole, but the boss says that it’s OK, until we get to more difficult projects and we have another one of those meetings again, later this week. This is although I have decades of experience doing more complex work.
I know that most people’s advice is to go find another job but, this is actually the best job I’ve had and I’m not at an age and stage in my life where I’m going to purposely seek out a new job, unless I absolutely have to.
While I’ve given this freak the cold shoulder, which seems to make him nervously turn on some temporary BS charm, the moment we’re in a meeting again, he will start being an absolute jerk. Apparently, 3 other people have had issues with this guy also.
While I don’t know for sure, I think this guy “may” be a narcissist. I’ve had to study narcissism so, at minimum, this guy has some sort of problem, in addition to the fact that he wants my job. And one finds that a narcissist in the workplace even can have more than one enabler. My boss is one and another guy, who’s been subjected to the abuse, seems to want to support this freak.
Boy, when you’re stuck, you’re stuck. The good thing is that I can hold my own and know that I’m looking at someone who has a real problem. It isn’t me. I may not be the most jovial employee but, I don’t attack my coworkers. If this guy is narcissistic, I know what his triggers are, as well.
So great! Thank you!
Thanks Dan! This is something I can use in real life! I've been isolated for years but doing my best now to come out of my shell. I have had some situations that I'm not sure how to handle.
For example: The guy at the front counter of the gym acts like we are friends but uses a lot of passive aggressive remarks.
I was leaving the gym and as I passed the counter a friendly clerk said isnt that right? My response was what? I don't know what you guys are talking about. The passive aggressive guy said in a loud drawn out voice W H A T!!! (he sounded like quack bird) I want to confront him and ask him why he does it but a friend of mine said he just that way but I still feel frustrated because I think about it later.
I really don't like people that are bitchy and want to learn how to deal with bitchy remarks! I want to grow up and no longer feel bad. What would you say or do in a situation? Thanks in advance!!
Thank you so much, Dan. I'm a people-lover and communicator by nature and've been interested in the art and skill of communication for 19 years; tweeking and modifying as I go. I counsel people quite a bit and of course - it exposes me to some very needy; manipulative people. I've been endeavoring to master the art of effective communication; and not to control, but, to tactfully and smoothly deter others with issues, from controlling. Shut them down. :-)
I'm curious as to what brought you down this path? I just might ask you if your channel affords the opportunity to write a personal message. Thank you again. Susie
When you say people are desperate for my attention and out to get me with manipulative techniques, are really trying to say YOU are desperate for my attention? Dante I.
Susie Arviso, I think the response you received demonstrated that you were right-on. Defensive people use pejorative adjectives and a touch of anger when they are called out. Then they go away.
:)
I like. Very good tips. Thanks for sharing and keep sharing.
Thanks Chinkyfist-- Dan
This is so hilarious! Wow I have to try it!
Thank you so much for your videos and sharing your wisdom! I have been a sub for a few years now and your videos have helped me so much!
I don't want to be a judge. I give my opinion when not asked sometimes. Im changing this. Thanks for this.
You're welcome, Kyle; please remember to like and share.
Dan
Hi Dan:
but what if the Judge admits to the exaggerate judgement? Like they have no shame about it?
I was thinking the same thing ... it's unfortunate that Dan did not provide a response. I suggest if we find ourselves in such a position, that we simply say, well I'm not going to partake in such negativity or shamelessness.
“okay yeah just being clear, i think it’s interesting you say something like that!” bahahhahhaha
By the way Dan, what tool(s) do you use to produce your webinars? Thanks!
Oh I Love You Thank you so much i have to write up a difficult incident report and this particular video was just awesome. :)))))))
Ohhh I love this, thank you for all of your amazing videos! They are so entertaining and informative!
Thank you so much for the tips...it is really helpful...love your videos....
Hello… I’m glad I found this video. How do you think I can handle two girls in my cna nursing program who are always laughing at me … no matter what I say there always laughing like hyenas. A lot of the time sky instructor is always making jokes and they laugh at whatever he says but I don’t find him funny so I usually just stay quiet or I look away. For instance, this one time I was was asking the instructor a question regarding clinicals… simply asked if we the students would be assisting cnas or would we be working together or be left alone? I asked him this question on the side, while these two girls were over on the side looking and laughing like I wasn’t talking to them, and I don’t understand what’s so funny? So I asked them infront of everyone… “what’s so funny and because I don’t see what’s so funny?” They both looked shocked and then one of them looked down on the floor and the other girl just looked at me like “ 😳” . She didn’t think I was going to say anything…
I’m reserved and to myself and I’m not one to gather around and talk or joke around… specially when there around I separate myself. I know my instructor is sarcastic and he’s always making jokes but there’s always jokes targeted at me which is fine when he does it I guess.. I don’t really care but I just don’t engage. But the other girls just annoy me… there younger than me. They don’t have much experience so maybe that’s why there immature? Or maybe lack confidence so all they do is laugh when they have nothing to say? Idk. Maybe because I have a diff get sense of humor I don’t think a lot of things are funny… but with them is idk what’s so funny that I say that they laugh. I use my hands to speak at times when explaining procedures and what not. What do you think I can do?
You have to address them and get them to stop you have to be assertive with these kind of people “is there a problem ? “ Tell them straight up I’d like you to stop. Sometimes if that doesn’t work your gonna have to catch them outside.
Like your video! This method works in most of the cases. I agree with you. From my own experience, sometimes it started a bigger fire. I got into a few arguments, some people are hot-temped and have bigger mouths than mine.
Lol at the one about your mother :)) thanks for all the super informative videos!!
Hi Dan, I'm a new subscriber. I am undergoing occupational therapy to go back to work after being on long term disability for two years, and am investigating assertive communication skills to stand up for myself after 21 years in a bullying, toxic workplace. I had this experience with someone I barely knew who routinely insulted me and make judgmental comments on my weight when we were alone in the elevator together. Do you think if I said the following to her should she try it again with me, that it would be aggressive communication rather than assertive? "I can gain and lose weight if I choose to. What can you do about your judgmental behaviour?" I worry that if I say this, then I'll be accused of being judgmental and oversensitive. This has been the case in the past when I've tried to stand up for myself, and I revert back to my usual introverted, silent self, feeling crappier about myself, ruminating and second guessing myself for a long time.
Fairwearth, please look at my videos in re inappropriate comments, and tell me what you think.
@@TheWizardOfWords Is there one you would recommend for my specific situation? Sorry, I'm having cognitive difficulties as a result of long COVID neurological injuries.
Works like a charm practically every time, doesn't it?!
Never judge a book by it's cover. And so true. Agree
Glad I found this site! Been dealing with, at his best, a passive aggressive man at church.... however, it's CHURCH, so what can you do?
You treat someone in a religious environment the same way you would treat them in a social environment, Jennifer--hopefully mindfully. :)
Dear @Jennifer M I should think the Bible (in other words, God!) has a few things to say about certain behaviors. I think I would sit down with a concordance and seek out the passage in Scripture that deal with those. Then use them as ammo. For starters. ;-)
I really enjoy your sense of humor Dan!
:) :) :) "^^"
watched a couple of your videos a while back. thank you for giving my life confidence. yes it was me.. but if not for you!
I just found your channel and LOVE IT!
your vids are sooo AWESOME!! Thank you!!!
Love love love this. Nailed it!!
Thank you for the tip, sounds like a powerful tool I can definitely use!
Love love love your work!!!
This video just gave me life!! Loved it.
Well thank you and I'm glad you're alive. Keep breathing!
Dan
@@TheWizardOfWords 😆 Thanks, Dan. Yes! Lol
superb dude! From where did u learn such body language tricks.? never ever heard dis things before! brilliant
Don’t encourage me… I had a stupid lady ask me,(the wrong person lol) “are you calling me a liar?” I said “uh…yes I am” she imploded & didn’t know what to do🤣
Nina, I'm guessing you don't need any encouragement :).
@@TheWizardOfWords i love your videos! lol
You're awesome Dan!
I made a statement to a gentleman once and he said "are you calling me a liar"? I said to him " I already made my statement, it is up to you to interpret that. I had to put the ball back in his court. Occasionally that backfires, Dan. I don't have those circumstances very often because I try not to judge so I'm not very good at this.
Uff ur amazing.... but the coworker that would be brave enough to talk about my kiddos deserves my attention outside the office👊🏾👊🏾
Yes, I'm sure you mean you're going to give them a verbal dressing down. RIght???? :) :)
this video made me subscribe! I used this tip today. it worked!
AAAAAAAAAAH I LOVE THIS!
how I always did this was by asking : Why would you say that? Or why would you say this about him/her.
But i find this video waaay better than how i did before! LOVE THIS SO MUCH THANK YOU
I think I died with joy when you said do the "3-second look"! LOL!! Hallelujah! I'm so sharing this 😍👍👍💖💕💖💕✨
Thank you Sensie Victoria Whitfield!
YOU. ARE. GOOD.!!!! LOVE YOUR CONTENT!
Another great one!
Luv u. Finally concrete examples.
Empowering retort using excellent psychology!
:) :) :). Thanks, Bonnie.
This was great. Thanks Dan.
Thanks Elizabeth and Edward for the encouragement. Be sure to share.
Dan
You made me giggle! Nice one dude!
Thanks, Sam. I hope you subscribed, liked and--wait for it--shared. :)
Thank you very much sir! As introvert I need it badly... when someone say bad too me... i cant answer.. just quiet moment...& mind....loading...loading... loading... subscriber from ph🇵🇭
Many thanks for your comment, Ebyong Cantonese. There are many introverts in the same boat as you and I hope these videos help so that you can convert all those thoughts into thoughtful speech! Grateful to have a subscriber from the Philippines!
Thank you Starlady Teresa-- I look forward to a great 2014!
Loved the exaggeration suggestion!
+Jyoti-Subir Singh Me too
Another brilliant video, thank you
Thanks, Torna, and please continue to comment--like--and share. I very much appreciate it.
Dan