Signs That You’ve Bonded To A Narcissist

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  • Опубликовано: 26 окт 2024

Комментарии • 111

  • @BaraSchmidt
    @BaraSchmidt 4 месяца назад +50

    Hyper vigilance. Overwhelm. Chaos. They all cluttered my life while experiencing 1 antagonistic relationship after another. The feeling of not having to defend or guard myself for doing - or saying - even what comes authentically to me. Not jumping every time I hear a key in the door. Replacing self-gaslighting behaviors with feelings of strong self-worth, happiness and renewed empathy are but a few of the gifts I gave myself after breaking free of the bondage of those trauma laden relati- excuse me- DICtatorships! Now I know, and now I am FREE!! Join the Healthy side of life. It's NEVER too late!

  • @IzabelaWaniek-i1x
    @IzabelaWaniek-i1x 4 месяца назад +12

    True. It’s time for us to validate ourselves. We must keep away from the narcissist.

  • @nancytwigg4631
    @nancytwigg4631 4 месяца назад +35

    VALIDATE YOURSELF! Be your gift to yourself. You have the strength to change. Thanks, Doc!

  • @triciapotter3331
    @triciapotter3331 4 месяца назад +25

    Hello Dr Carter, this is 100% accurate. I am more than ready, plans in place, and it is time. Thank you, I shall continue to follow you as you have changed my life.

    • @iconsnart
      @iconsnart 4 месяца назад +3

      Godsspeed brave one! Im off too 🎉 Big love to Dr C and you all

  • @HumanOobleck
    @HumanOobleck 4 месяца назад +6

    I've been stuck in a very bad situation and it's absolutely paralyzed me. I was more Independent as a 13 year old than a year 39 year old. All my confidence has vanished and I contemplate ending it all so often. It feels easier to do that than participate in life.

  • @lauracoussens6207
    @lauracoussens6207 4 месяца назад +12

    Dr. C you are just the top expert on explaining the all too numerous abnormal behaviors of narcissism. It leaves no area of life unaffected. Thank you again for helping.

  • @yvetteandjorgenlarsen9753
    @yvetteandjorgenlarsen9753 4 месяца назад +14

    Thank you for this short video, Dr. Les. So the answer to your questions is no, I'm not experiencing any of this anymore, thank God!
    I can't say for certain that If I'd known what covert narcissism and love-bombing was earlier, I wouldn't have gotten entangled in that kind of relationship, but at least I would have had a fighting chance! Because all my friends, family and Church community thought my fiance was a great guy, as I did, since he was very convincing. But I can say that your videos, along with a couple others, along with the many meaningful comments from all the poor people who found themselves in my same situation, helped me realize how big, how deep and how serious narcissism is. This also helped me quickly heal, because I recognized that I was not responsible for what was happening, and therefore, I'd never be able to fix it or even be part of fixing it. Thank God it didn't take me very long to realize that there was definitely something 'off' with him that was starting to affect our relationship in very negative ways, but finding out later that EVERYTHING he said and did from the get-go was total BS, that I was simply a target, really freed me! I loved him, so yes, it hurt alot when he kicked me out, but it wasn't a situation where there was ever going to be any Forgiveness or Reconciliation -- only his accusations and belittling, mixed with moments of his positive reinforcement, keeping me wondering what in the world was going on. I did gently ask questions and try to understand his point of view and try to work things out. Things would seem to cycle, but they were also escalating. So when he found out I had been privately counseling with someone he knew, he kicked me out-- probably to try to prevent his exposure (but it was too late). At that point, I didn't know what narcissism was so I couldn't understand why he had to kick me out. But now I thank God that He made a way for me to escape so quickly, only a couple of months after my husband's horrible hurtful behaviors began. The only way to get a marriage back on track is through both parties sincerely apologizing and forgiving each other so that they CAN move on to reconciliation and work on restoration. My husband refused to do that, both before I left and for 6 weeks after I left. I lost track of the number of times I begged him to reconsider. He would just mock me...
    This is my opinion: I don't believe 'staying' in a marriage where your partner is abusing you ON PURPOSE makes it a "Biblical" commitment. Lots of abused spouses have died that way, and I don't think that's ever God's will. I want you to know during 7 weeks while all this was going on, I was very ill, saw 6 specialists and was even in the hospital, so sick I had to be in a wheelchair. Later, I discovered that my husband had been making fun of me in text messages to my family. Now THAT'S real betrayal! What kind of husband does that? One who doesn't love you, who doesn't know how to love. (So yeah, he's never even apologized for that.)
    Thank you for putting these free videos on RUclips for those of us who need help and don't know how to find it because we don't even know what's wrong, just that we are being blamed and hurt😢. May God's greatest blessings be upon you, Dr. Les!

    • @Dormilon06
      @Dormilon06 3 месяца назад

      Run away from him or you Will regresa it all your life!!!! They have demons instead of heart!!!!!!

  • @douglastruong7242
    @douglastruong7242 4 месяца назад +2

    This is true. I live with a narcissist for 17 years until she divorced me. Then I found out that some of my behaviors were like her. You live with crazy people you become crazy without knowing it. Finally, I adjusted myself.

  • @kaddylady5853
    @kaddylady5853 4 месяца назад +8

    The Narcissist loves to validate and praise others, but will never validate or praise me. 😢

  • @stephenholcomb5344
    @stephenholcomb5344 4 месяца назад +5

    I hate when they use my attachment to our children to keep me where and when they want, but NEVER SHOW ANY DESIRE and act like they don't give two craps about me unless I ignore them

  • @megandavis324
    @megandavis324 4 месяца назад +7

    I am ready !

  • @lisalyman5962
    @lisalyman5962 4 месяца назад +4

    More than ready. I watch your videos all the time and everything you say makes sense and touches a lot of what I’ve been experiencing but he is adamant that I’m the one at fault always. Ugggh 😢

    • @Lexi_Con
      @Lexi_Con 4 месяца назад +1

      Trust me & your intuition, it is NOT you! Leave if you can. If you're married or living together - please find an outside support network, a close friend, relative, boss or coworker (as many as poss. but at least one)... Who can give you a place to stay if necessary while you sort out options. People who can help you leave the toxic situation, both physically & emotionally. It's hard but your partner needs to know he can't treat you with disrespect & take you for granted without consequences. The only reason I'd stay is if he sincerely acknowledges your feelings, apologizes & goes to counseling - NOT just agrees to but GOES. Long term, for himself as well as couples counseling. Otherwise he won't change if he's a true narcissist. I've been there & thank God for getting me out of that relationship! It does more damage than you think.

    • @SurvivingNarcissism
      @SurvivingNarcissism  4 месяца назад

      You are so welcome

  • @barbarabrennan1753
    @barbarabrennan1753 4 месяца назад +3

    Gnaw away. I'm in a state of exhaustion and they are doing last minute tries at helping but as usual, they have an abundance of energy. Resources. I've been sucking up the rotten behavior for years.

  • @allans7281
    @allans7281 4 месяца назад +5

    Be careful who you get close with. Time has a way of answering all questions be patient

  • @carolynsirianni1251
    @carolynsirianni1251 4 месяца назад +18

    I was born to one and did not pick my Covert, Malignant Narcissistic mother . And I didn’t capitalize “ mother” because all she did was threaten me harshly & also physical abuse at times. And cutting my hair off or dropping me off on an old country road at dusk, coming back 30-45 minutes later as I’m crying because abuse I’m only 7! I think it’s even harder in a child , their own child , they abuse when no one’s around! Especially in the 60’s& 70’s!! Remember?

    • @USNBLUE
      @USNBLUE 4 месяца назад +3

      Yes. I do. I surely hope you forgave her and moved on. The best revenge you can have is be happy. Be a good mother if you have kids.

    • @carolynsirianni1251
      @carolynsirianni1251 4 месяца назад +7

      @@USNBLUE Yes, three years later, I’m calmer but it still hits a nerve at times which I think is normal after dealing my whole life with that shit. She knows “ I” know now, and that’s that! I don’t have 1 stick of love for her as she never loved me& hurt me whenever she got the chance. Now I’m with my daughter and I had to learn “ everything” on my own , thanks to that no good sick screwed up narcissist. Have you been through that as a child?? ✌️

    • @USNBLUE
      @USNBLUE 4 месяца назад +5

      @@carolynsirianni1251 yes I been through it as a child. Sister is a full blown Narc herself. So is her son. I married a Narc and now my son sides with my abusers. So yea I get it. I understand the anger out bursts at times. I’m completely alone and stay guarded. No friends, no nothing. My mother is in her 70’s now. She suffers from dementia and it’s getting worse. The Lord pointed it that its a curse on her. Along with the epilepsy and loupes. She is suffering pretty bad. I don’t go around because she can’t hide her hate of me. The site of me triggers her.

    • @mamamuzic
      @mamamuzic 4 месяца назад +3

      Boy, do I ever😪

    • @carolynsirianni1251
      @carolynsirianni1251 4 месяца назад +4

      @@USNBLUE I’m working on mine, she really did a number on me, her own daughter. Sometimes I like to get my anger out and write it down, because it took me 58 years to learn everything, so I give myself time to heal from all those years of utter bullshit. Anyways I feel for especially the children stuck at the home with these monster parents / parent. Take care- 🫶🏼

  • @penelopedyck4217
    @penelopedyck4217 4 месяца назад +15

    I am ready. Packing to flee at the very moment.

    • @yukio_saito
      @yukio_saito 4 месяца назад +1

      I hope you succeed.

    • @trying2survive602
      @trying2survive602 3 месяца назад +1

      Sending you love ❤️
      Stay strong ✨️ 💪🏻 and stay safe!

  • @nofascists
    @nofascists 4 месяца назад +3

    Like many other psychological issues, I think narcissism is on a spectrum.
    I fear that I have some of these tendencies. I think my dad was a narcissist. He seemed to think he was just a little bit better than anyone else. With the help from a strong willed significant other who would call me out for some of my remarks which hurt her feelings, I'm learning to simply apologize FULL STOP! I have an enormous urge to explain my point of view or opinion. I've never felt malicious, intending to belittle or demean or get violent. I have always felt a strong conviction behind many of my opinions and tried to articulate them the best way I could. When I hurt someone, I would feel an overwhelming need to explain my point of view ( I guess in order to feel "right"). I then feel bad and frustrated that I'm not understood. It seems that being "right" is not what's most important. I pray for better understanding. I don't like that I see the world and my place in it that way.

    • @carolynsirianni1251
      @carolynsirianni1251 3 месяца назад

      We all have some narcissistic tendencies, but it’s not the same as a full blown Narcissist.

  • @manman-sg1zt
    @manman-sg1zt 4 месяца назад +6

    And another one bites the dust, thank you very much for an advice.

  • @mommamonster1476
    @mommamonster1476 4 месяца назад +12

    Totally true

  • @valking3197
    @valking3197 4 месяца назад +3

    I am trying 😊

  • @t_nels
    @t_nels 4 месяца назад +6

    Looking, searching for answers. I'm being pushed to a response that will alienate me even more. Now I am going to work on the outside of family to find solutions.

  • @iahelcathartesaura3887
    @iahelcathartesaura3887 4 месяца назад +5

    This describes my whole entire life from birth

  • @elainebines6803
    @elainebines6803 4 месяца назад +5

    I was often asked do you know what's wrong with your mother in law? My reply was, no. Not now though. I'm educated and understanding it is half way towards freeing yourself and tbh, once you know, you go

  • @debbiehardy40
    @debbiehardy40 4 месяца назад +6

    I don't deal with them. Too gaslight-y.

  • @Denise-y2c
    @Denise-y2c 4 месяца назад +2

    This video describes how I have become, living with a covert narcissist. Thank you.

  • @indigopentagram3330
    @indigopentagram3330 4 месяца назад +1

    It's wild how fast they can go from "I love you I'll do anything for you" to "okay then guess it's over I'm already talking to someone else as we speak" within the course of a few exchanges.
    The manipulation whiplash is real.

  • @maxinesimonelli7383
    @maxinesimonelli7383 4 месяца назад +7

    No. I walked away.

  • @PowerGurhl
    @PowerGurhl 17 дней назад +1

    I am ready! I ended with anxiety and depression from a relationship to a narcissist. A covert one could not figure a out why things were always confusing

  • @carolynsirianni1251
    @carolynsirianni1251 4 месяца назад +1

    Well I just found out that my 86 year old Covert/ Malignant mother is moving from Maine to CT. Where I live - thats all she does moving.. still has strength at 86, she will never die . Now she thinks I’m going to deal with her shit, but little does she know, I’m not dealing at all with her. I feel strong for the first time in my whole life. Took a few years after I learned the truth. It takes time.. to reverse. 🌞

  • @charishurt1768
    @charishurt1768 3 месяца назад +1

    Saying the wrong thing happens all the time

  • @roselainerichemond2477
    @roselainerichemond2477 3 месяца назад +1

    Yes Sir, I am ready. Thank you.

  • @NikNicOnNYC
    @NikNicOnNYC 4 месяца назад +2

    Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

  • @stevenmorgan6164
    @stevenmorgan6164 3 месяца назад +1

    Thank you Dr Carter

  • @lisazidlick1650
    @lisazidlick1650 4 месяца назад +1

    Perfect Message!!!

  • @cindyreinhart9552
    @cindyreinhart9552 4 месяца назад +8

    I'm guilty of this.

    • @MegaDiva1999
      @MegaDiva1999 4 месяца назад

      You're not guilty. You're a trauma survivor. You'll be okay

  • @MoltenMeta
    @MoltenMeta 2 месяца назад +1

    Thank you. I really needed that.

  • @tracydanneo
    @tracydanneo 3 месяца назад +1

    Yes, I’m so ready! 😊

  • @ericawiersma4595
    @ericawiersma4595 4 месяца назад +1

    Dr C you are a part of my everyday life... I hear your voice in my head... it helps me to keep on with the healing journey... thank you❤

  • @ShaareiZoharDaas
    @ShaareiZoharDaas 4 месяца назад +2

    Why, I cannot bond with personality disorders of any kind 🙏 thank G-D

  • @Angela-ul9si
    @Angela-ul9si 4 месяца назад +1

    Heck yes I’m ready.

  • @carolynsirianni1251
    @carolynsirianni1251 4 месяца назад +4

    I was born to one and did not pick my Covert, Malignant Narcissistic mother . And I didn’t capitalize “ mother” because all she did was threaten me harshly & also physical abuse at times. And cutting my hair off or dropping me off on an old country road at dusk, coming back 30-45 minutes later as I’m crying because abuse I’m only 7! I think it’s even harder in a child , their own child , they abuse when no one’s around! Especially in the 60’s& 70’s!! Remember? I’m still working on the anger … I found out the truth almost 6 decades later- and she’s 86 now& will live till 102 at least! They don’t die it seems like?!

    • @USNBLUE
      @USNBLUE 4 месяца назад +3

      The Lord is long suffering and her living that long is a punishment until itself. I pray 🙏🏻 you have Christ in your life.

    • @carolynsirianni1251
      @carolynsirianni1251 4 месяца назад

      @@USNBLUE I do ! I understand that Christ has been carrying me all this time, he’s been with me! I believe that 💯 He is my savior. My only savior. 🫶🏼

  • @MC-mk6gs
    @MC-mk6gs 4 месяца назад +3

    With my next I used to really worry I would think the wrong wzy😢

  • @andreeailie9053
    @andreeailie9053 4 месяца назад +1

    Thank you so much for all this information 🙏🏻😊

  • @nicholes3781
    @nicholes3781 4 месяца назад +1

    Interesting question to end on, I like that! ✌🏾

  • @matikramer9648
    @matikramer9648 4 месяца назад +1

    I am ready
    For two decades
    But never knew about narcissism till 3 years ago

  • @v8kiwi33
    @v8kiwi33 4 месяца назад +1

    Thankyou...movin on from my son before im alone...

  • @joyceesparza2676
    @joyceesparza2676 3 месяца назад +1

    Ty, yes I'm ready to validate myself ❤

  • @brianharnsberry6918
    @brianharnsberry6918 4 месяца назад +4

    This is true thank u

  • @1stMarDiv4341
    @1stMarDiv4341 4 месяца назад +1

    When I met my narc ex, I was on 0.5 mg Ativan once per day, but usually on an as-needed basis. Within 1.5 years of us dating, it had jumped to 2 mg/day, and I found myself needing early refills for the first time.
    I finally broke up with her last December, after nearly three years together. And, wouldn’t ya know it, I’ve been able to taper back down to 0.5 mg. Best of all, I don’t have to take it every day.
    I find this to be remarkably revealing.

  • @KimberlyGray-cd3lt
    @KimberlyGray-cd3lt 3 месяца назад

    When NARC take you out your character you know its times to move on

  • @bonnieromick9397
    @bonnieromick9397 4 месяца назад +1

    It's time to adjust them out

  • @doriannemosich232
    @doriannemosich232 4 месяца назад +2

    DR.C ~~~~LOVE~~~why? I like/love who loves me.

  • @barbarabrennan1753
    @barbarabrennan1753 4 месяца назад +1

    They are throwing hints of someone supporting me. But there are really a couple guys I don't want in my face. My situation is beyond absurd. Because they are clueless about the thing that matters to me the most. My son. My safety and his safety. I get faint hints. But no precise communication. Hints. Scam phone calls. I don't know what to do. I e been going all the photography that never saw the light of day.

  • @maryw4609
    @maryw4609 4 месяца назад +1

    Thanks

  • @wendyhare1600
    @wendyhare1600 4 месяца назад +1

    So sad- made me laugh -it’s right on! Sadly

  • @howdydocowgirlcowgirl181
    @howdydocowgirlcowgirl181 4 месяца назад +2

    Why is it their strategy to demean us in an effort to mold us? Bullying & pushing others away to keep them in their control seem counter constructive.

  • @Robin-kx2cp
    @Robin-kx2cp 3 месяца назад +1

    😢 absolutely my roommate who is a friend is is showing very unhealthy red flags I never knew until I lived with this friend has a roommate he took his anger out on me. Literally saw me literally saw me in a personal crisis and never asked him for help add blatantly said I'm not going to help you can you tell me he does not know how to be a caring person or how to respond back that his brain tells him different I told him boundaries I said I'm tired of your negativity of you getting angry so easy for nothing and for you being mean spirited and I will not tolerate this and my home either if you want me to be a roommate these are my boundaries and we're going to leave it at that but he really has a lot of deep deep issues he's very narcissistic and I think he's a misogynist

  • @josephd27
    @josephd27 4 месяца назад +1

    I saw Aaron Lewis about a couple years ago in Stained

  • @TokasWaqavakaviti
    @TokasWaqavakaviti 3 месяца назад +1

    So true.

  • @StalkedHuman
    @StalkedHuman 4 месяца назад +1

    Thats pretty good.

  • @Madhavi3003
    @Madhavi3003 3 месяца назад +1

    I think I am narcissist. Not sure though. I can not stop my self argue with my partner. I feel I made my husband narcissist with my arguments. Reading too many books made me sticking to rules like morals, loyalty, be good. But it did not reduce my ego. Everyone outside my home says I am very sweet, good, ethical, help others. But I failed at home. Not understanding if I am narcissist or my husband. He is irresponsible, and I am irresponsible in marriage But I take care of all the finances, managing home, raising kid with help of my maternal family. I am confused

  • @redrum3835
    @redrum3835 4 месяца назад +1

    On my road to recovery I had gotten rid of many in my life, in fact I had made a few cuts over the years some ware the mask well until they didn't

  • @JF32304
    @JF32304 4 месяца назад +1

    Dang, it's like JB weld.

  • @BluBlu111
    @BluBlu111 4 месяца назад +1

    I'm definitely a narcissist. 😂

  • @jenniferwaidelich642
    @jenniferwaidelich642 4 месяца назад +1

    yes!!!

  • @carolnahigian9518
    @carolnahigian9518 4 месяца назад +1

    doctor C met my Crazy siblings& Worst Wounded Cousin from Toxic-Ville

  • @christinemilham2847
    @christinemilham2847 4 месяца назад +1

    How about signs you're de-bonded?

  • @hmmmhmmm2477
    @hmmmhmmm2477 4 месяца назад +1

    Un bind.. move on even if you can't move on physically. Emotionally disconnect and self protect. Do not listen to you Christian friends that tell you to forgive and show love. FORGIVE, but disconnect. Be civil, no love required, they need you you don't need them. Love like Jesus, not love as the world. Hope the best for them, maybe they will change with prayer. But for you disconnect emotionally, move forward without their baggage. It is just you and Jesus that matter. Not him. ...her...

  • @miriamroberts7558
    @miriamroberts7558 3 месяца назад +1

    Is there any other explanation for having these feelings? As in, could it be from another form of mental illness or instability such as BPD?

  • @GloriaWatkins-c2u
    @GloriaWatkins-c2u 4 месяца назад +1

    Not listened for months nothing weird stuff implying did um false enalgies whatever .. nothing but glance . All out paportions ect.

  • @RamonaJones-h6f
    @RamonaJones-h6f 4 месяца назад +1

    How to break this

  • @JessieFareau
    @JessieFareau 4 месяца назад +1

    💯

  • @cmullenmusic
    @cmullenmusic 4 месяца назад +1

  • @mschenandlerbong8539
    @mschenandlerbong8539 4 месяца назад +2

    Eggshells.