'Once a cheater, always a cheater' - true or false?
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- Опубликовано: 21 окт 2024
- Kate writes, “Hello Susan! Thank you so much for all the educative videos! I have a question about cheating: once a cheater, always a cheater - true or false? All of your videos have been truly helpful! Thank you again! Best Wishes, Kate”
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very few cheaters change , they don't see anything wrong with what they are doing and most cheaters are only sorry they got caught ,never sorry they ruined someone's life
That was my wife all the way
My partner cheated on me for a long time, I had no idea. When I found out I was in denial, I questioned him and he denied it all. Slowly the truth prevailed and I saw the years and layers of lies.
I’ve invested so much time and energy, he reminded me of all the good times and promised to change. Everything was good, but he never changed, he just got better at hiding things.
That’s sad.. did you stay with him?
You blamed the Women 100%
So sad the betrayal behind their eyes. Happened to me
Thia is so true wow
Someone will treat you the way you allow them. They can't continue to cheat if you end it with them. So once a cheater always a cheater wont apply if you get rid of them. Let someone else worry about them.
So true..
Show Time Can you please say that one more time!!
Cheater always going be Cheater
Why cheat.. Just leave make someone else life miserable
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I am sorry but once a cheater, always a cheater for me. Some might change but the risk of trusting a cheater ain't worth it
The suspicion of will it happen again will drive you looney.
Taking back a person that cheats is like putting spoiled milk back in the fridge and thinking it will be fresh tomorrow.
Once a cheater, always a cheater is my experience in my 49 years on this earth.
People can change but very rarely. Good for them if they do. However, best to not ever take them back.
It's true, a cheater will always be a cheater. My wife...back then was my GF. She cheated on me on a one night stand. But I forgave her. And now 17+yrs later she cheated on me again. I'm at the point of divorcing her. I should of dumped her when she first cheated one me.
Its very sad..majority time a cheater is always a cheater
@Di Ane good point. If she can have a one night stand then it's very likely she did it again in the 17 years. I honestly feel that nowadays you're more than likely to be with someone who will stray at least once in your relationship or you yourself might do it. At the end of the day throughout your lifetime you will be cheated on at least once, guy or girl whether you find out or not.
@@sseven7777 no morals
I know that feeling,, I am with ya
Was she chinese?
If the person you are seeing tells you they have cheated in most of their relationships, they will cheat on you.
Everyone else MIGHT cheat on you.
I just ended it with this girl I really liked but she told me all about her past and that she cheated in every relationship except the guy before me. She even told me how they all happened, "I was drunk and he was just a friend and I wasn't intending it to happen I just ended up on his bed..." Or that she cheated with her ex. She told me last night that she was still in contact with her ex and I dumped her right then. Not the only stuff that happened but I'm definitely not giving her my time.
Wow - good discernment and self-respect ! I definitely recognize how you describe how she explained it. Had a similar situation with someone who cheated on his ex and then wanted to be in a open relationship, which I agreed on trusting in him wanting it in good, open communication and respect for one another, but I should have listened better to how he explained it because of the whole "I never/don't know what I'll do when I'm really drunk and drugged and with whoever in that moment because I don't want to hold myself back, I want to follow my desires, just go with the flow and I don't know if I'll use a condom or not because I really hate using condoms blablabla" thing. They're just excuses, really, for not having to take responsibility for their actions, behavior, as well as for all of their actual feelings, hiding them behind an insecure mask of desperate ego-stroking.
I'm grateful for the whole experience, though, because it triggered and confronted me expressing & standing up for myself, trusting my intuition, and finding my self-worth/value again. And he kinda reflected to me a lot of my unsolved co-dependency and the insecurities I was feeling within me about myself and had to heal in me, although we obviously went at it in completely opposite ways.
After a few months in it, I really couldn't ignore the red flags and patterns anymore, that were already clear from the beginning - of course, only trusting my intuition being right on those, instead of trusting his words, came after those months - , as I realized I felt like I was taking up a lot of the responsibility for his actions (open communication, providing us with condoms, etc) to be in the relationship, while I should've been responsible for my happiness and feelings : which, realizing that, I had to stop the relationship. I realized as well that you can never be responsible for someone else's behavior and insecurities, that's pointless, you're not their parent, you're an equal : so, that's either up to themselves to take and show they are responsible for their past, actions etc, because if they don't do it, nobody can do it for them - same counts for ourselves - in which case you have to wave & walk out.
and if they got you by cheating on someone else, well then you can expect to get what you deserve.
Don't fall for just looks
Beside “transactional” and “situational” cheating , there’s also the case of insecurity, someone needing a lot of adulation from opposite sex , always on the lookout for greener pasture , never happy with what he has despite being in a happy , deeply connected , sexually fulfilling relationship
If someone cheats then its best to walk away
When a man starts to believe that having multiple partners at the same time is ok, dump him right away!
It is only ok if all the people involved are in agreement with the arrangement
What about women keeping guys in the backup plan mode if things with current partner goes south
If it starts shady it will end that way!
Lyman Mayhew I agree how you get em is how you lose em
Ya unfortunately mostly true. No matter how hard you’d like to believe otherwise.
aint that the truth
Its so damn true, once a cheater always a repeater, any person who cheats on u once will cheat on u all his life, they just get better a one thing, thats is plain simple cheating. Its in their rotten blood never never never trust that person ever again, man without a character is just like body without soul. Just salute that bastard with ur middle finger n move on with ur life,🙏🏻
Future Of EV
Believe it, I tried like hell to change my wife of 31 years, and all I've got was heart ache after heart ache ~ walk after the first time
🙏♥️🙏
In my case it was a women . So it's not about gender it's about character
Saying that ive said before narcissist's do this all the time. My ex was a narc and he bragged he couldn't stay faithful, boy wish i had run for hills when he said that! Would have saved a lot of heartache 😬
Ikr.. so many red flags.. but I ignored those. Glad it ended
MIne would say he could have any girl he wanted. Oh, yeah. Turns out he was cheating on all his exes. Pretty sure on me, as well. Emotionally, definitely.
You're not mentioning the compulsive cheater, the sex addict who is unable to stop the behavior without help.
im 64 years old , and in all my years , im finding to myself ! love was never really worth it .... your very informative and i thank you .
If someone is unhappy they should close their relationship, reflect and move on instead of situationally cheat and explain why they do it. The issue is you will encounter low integrity people who will try to explain why these situations are normal.
They are not. These people don’t change simply because they think that nothing is wrong with them. There are enough healthy people out there not to have to put up with this crap.
"Healthy people" you say??? WHERE are they??? Sadly, I personally haven't met many - especially in the last 10-15 years. It seems to be getting worse out there 😢
I’ve never understood “once a cheater always a cheater”. Why does only cheating get that kind of reputation?
If you are an alcoholic for awhile, but then stop, are you always an alcoholic? No. If you are jerk to people for awhile but then stop and start being nice, are you always an jerk? No.
Conversely, this also works for good qualities. If you are a great dude for several years, but then go off the deep end and turn into a jerk, nobody will be saying “once a great dude always a great dude”…… see what I mean? People grow and change. You have to be willing to forgive people and let them grow. I get some people are truly just cheaters with zero integrity but lots of others take their mistakes as a kick to the nuts and change forever.
Brilliant as always. A person's philosophy, even towards small decisions, shows how he/she will approach larger ones. Thank you for the insight.
This is so clarifying. It provides me with specific questions to ask anyone who still deserves the benefit of a doubt. Thank you!
I have always believe the small things show who a person is as much as the big things. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.
I understand the incredible pain and emotion behind this but cheating is like Alcoholism and smoking. You can change if you want it bad enough.
I agree
ONCE A CHEATER ALL ENDS..THIS IS NOT LOVE ITS BETRAYAL IN ANY RELATIONSHIP...DO NOT DO BUSINESS WITH THEN ITS THE SAME GAME BETRAYAL..THEIR INTEREST IS THEM...THE REST IS YOUR ILLUSION...BE SMART AND STAY CLEAR OF A CONVOLUTED MESS...WATCH WHAT THEY DO ITS A PATTERN OF ACTION NOT WORDS...
This happened to me 10 days ago: I was in a long distance "committed" relationship for 12 months, we talked about everything, shared everything, then one day an ex appeared from out of the blue and msged my gfriend, she asked me if she could have a talk with him because he would not have no for an answer, and after their meet, she assured me everything was fine, and she felt liberated and full of life into the relationship she had with me. Then Covid happened and for 6 months we were unable to see each other, visits had to be delayed twice, and although we kept contact every day, had dates, shared as much of our lives together as possible, some frustrations arose. But we bounced back after a week and things couldn't be any better since finaly we were able to visit each other again. And she made plans to take a plane from England to Belgium. She stayed for 2 weeks, and when she got home, she ghosted me for an entire week, I could not understand were this had come from, we just had had a beautiful week together. Then she wrote me a letter, that she was very sorry and I was going to be tremendeously upset, she had slept with this ex she met a few months earlier, (someone she told me was part of a very abusive past/ relationship 5y ago), she slept with him once, but didn't know how to tell me without losing the relationship, to make matters worse, she found out she had become pregnant (7 weeks in) and had to abort. I was shocked, and stunned, nothing during those 12 months would have me believe she was capable of doing this, everything pointed towards comitment, honesty and love. I am not naive, and I took my time with her, she said it was a terrible mistake, a moment of weakness, turned into nightmare, (however getting pregnant after a one timer of protected sex is very unlikely) ... She won't change her original story. And has hopes that it can be fixed somehow. She really believes her story. I broke up the relationship, as I am too shocked and confused, to know what is real anymore. I never had the impression that she was unfaithful, her behaviour was very sweet, many loving letters, and gifts from both sides, she has good friends around her, I felt I could trust her completley . During her stay we had a zoom call with the entire familly mine and hers, to celebrate our being together physicaly etc ... I was making plans to consider living together .. Tough pill to swallow. I feel very deeply betrayed even tho I can rationaly understand how this could have happened. I consider myself to be kind and loving, but not nice, I have strong morals and ethics, I dare to speak my mind, and I am not jaleous or needy, ... the cheating is one thing, but the not telling hurts more (also abortion AND abusive ex partner?) and now my perception of her is super shattered.
Wow Susan how could you do that explaining clearly about this one question? Your videos are unique. We are so lucky to have found you. Thank you dear beautiful lady. All the best to you. 💜
Thanks POV!
Pov Mazozi ,thanks beautiful
I feel going by my own personal experience of someone who has cheated in the past - you can change only if you want to. Its your choice.
I really enjoy your videos and i might not watch every one you make but whenever I need advice or some guidance I come straight to your channel.
Thank you xxx
Thank you Amelia.
For someone to stop cheating, it takes a lot of time and extremely hard work to change. It is possible. Past behaviour MAY. be indicated of future behaviour.
"transactional" great word! that's how ppl in open relationships view sex
Truly am feeling heartbroken, I want to believe him when he says he will change, but he doesn’t.
They never change. Its a joke.
This is a load of crap. A committed partner cannot cheat because he/she honors the marriage no matter what temptation is offered.
when your relationship 100% good so why need to do cheats for what
And how do you know that your 💯 is not 💯 for them !
It can never be 100% to both parties
Not 100%.....ever....
What if they say it happens unexpectedly? They said it’s because you can’t make them happy, and the other person made them happy and they fall in love unexpectedly.
Absolutely nailed it! This resonates with my recent experience totally and exactly what i narrowed it down to. Even with true emotions such people dont let it enter them and let many genuine ppl go and afar unless finances r revealed. So capricious
I got divorced a year ago and met a girl who had also. We were both married to those who had mental illness. Very tough. We fell in love so fast and she was begging me to marry her four months in. She never wanted to be exclusive because she always wanted to see what was out there because she married at 19. Six months in I said we should get married. She ran and ghosted me right after. She had lots of healing and issues, and in hindsight my agreeing to marry her was a test. She couldn't do it. A month later I saw her Facebook and she added 13 guys in a row, all from dating websites, which was how she dated due to her busy life. That really hurt, but let me know she wants to play. She went on dates with other men even though she truly was crazy for me. I let her because it was her wish to really see all options. But this really upset me, I unfriended her and officially broke off our 'all but engaged relationship.' Six months later no sign of her. I have never decided if she was a cheater, or as your past videos say that ghosters can't face their own issues and run. She clearly needs attention from men, as she got almost none from a decade of marriage. My struggle is if she ever comes back do I see her as a cheater or a healer who had no clue how to handle her psychological lonesome issues until she dove in and explored?
I may never know. I've healed myself of my many hard years living with one with mental illness. She may never return unless she does the same.
Sounds like you have every reason to be available to someone who is available to you emotionally, physically, and mentally. So sorry that you experienced a person who ghosted. A man (48) much older than me(27) expressed a desire to explore commitment and then ditched me on the day of our next date for an Ex who reached out to him DAYS before. He doesn't speak to me and doesn't want to be friends with me despite the many platonic connections we discovered and his saying that I reminded him of some of the "people who loved him the most and knew him the best". I hope for you that you get well, stay well and allow well people to treat you well. It hurts so much when you care about someone early on and you find out they have an Ex that they would consider going back to. Especially one who is at best emotionally irresponsible and at worst, emotionally abusive. Sending all manner of positivity
@@meadowsandminefields8079 Thank you! That was very kind of you. You are fortunate you did not go far with him. Mine was right at the engagement stage. It feels like she died and I have to deal with that each day. But I wish you well too 😊
Wish u had continued on how it relates to the person's INTEGRITY....
Hi Susan, I'm a recent discoverer of your channel. Thank you for sharing heart wisdom.
You have such astute perspicacity in these matters. Really impressed!
Thank you Hope. I appreciate your comment!
You are amazing!! You covered it all as usual. Love ALL your videos..even the really really short ones that may have been put up by accident. Ha ha ha I had quite the chuckle last night. Love you to life, girl!!!
Actually most cheating isn’t so much situational but the break down of the marriage or relationship.
People who change the "goal posts" of the relationship based on the situation are the tricky ones. There is an established set of rules that you abide by, not realizing that they (either consciously or subconsciously depending on their narcissistic level) believe that they can do no wrong whatever situation arises and this allows them to cheat without 'breaking their rules' because they changed the goal post based on the situation and opportunity it arose. However, they hold a different standard, the goal posts for you are never allowed to move, you must follow the rules 'just like they do' when it suits them. Pure and simple: they philosophically believe they are entitled, but the ones who are dishonest when confronted and pretend they always follow the boundaries of the relationship and you misinterpreted, misunderstood the boundaries etc. are distracting you from the truth that they believe they are entitled to maneuver relationship boundaries and you aren't. They sound SO convincing because they truly believe they can do no wrong.
The Hobby Hive - Exactly. They can even convince you that they are so full of integrity that even questioning what they do, for example, on a business trip with an opposite sex coworker, or flying somewhere to visit a "friend" of the opposite sex, is above reproach, and if you even ask about it, they will become furious and leave, so you don't ask and swallow your gut feelings. I found out later his definition of cheating was different from everyone else on the planet, so he was not violating it, technically. My player got me to leave my fiance for him, then he moved to another state without me, then much later wrote to me promising that he'd grown up and got me to leave a great place and a great job to go there and be with him, where I could not get a job in my profession, then dumped me when I caught him in a lie, and after I'd loved him for almost 12 yrs., all my prime marriageable years, he married the one who came after me. To anyone reading this, even if he is everything you ever wanted, if your gut tells you he is cheating, run and don't look back. Get professional help if needed to help with your pain. My advice t o avoid this is to chose someone who is less good looking than you are, so he won't have a roving eye. Also, if he has all female friends, that is a huge red flag that other men don't like him and can see what he is.
You offer the absolute best advice Susan! You've helped me through so much .. love you, and thank you
excellent point on the keeping an eye on overall ethical conduct. I stopped for a second and I thought about myself...I am not a perfect person, but I am a nurse and I feel it's in my DNA to put the other person's best interests ( in my case health) first. I also feel that the times I "got away with something" I later received terrible karma. I really agree with high ethics and your stance regarding cheating. Thank you!
I think if they have cheated in other relationships they will with you, and others. But if its been a one off and they are really sorry maybe not. But once trust gone not good!
If he or she comes to you through cheating he or she will leave you through cheating,
@@bucktadlock5258 Yes this is 100 per cent true
My wife was never SORRY FOR HER ACTION just sorry she got busted one way or the other.
This was really helpful. Thank you for explaining this kind of human behaviour
these things are situational. if a person believes it's okay they will do it again. if they struggled with relationships because of trauma and pain. they may change if they want to. y'all need to know how to assess your situation specifically. listen to what the person says and believes. people always tell you what they're about if you listen.
Once a deceptive spouse has cheated for the first time, they have learned and know the drill all too well!
Given that, they will have a natural proclivity to remain unfaithful, because of their narcissism and engorged sense of entitlement !
Susan, Susan, Susan, you rock.
I'm so happy to be here, I'm a single man, I told Susan I really like all her video,I remember telling her I'm going to find my wife her on ur page.
Good insight but people are creatures of habit. It's like bad credit. Once they do it... Its a sign of patterns and behaviors.
How you do something is how you everything. Wow. True.
Merry Chrismas and a Happy New Year.
Thank you! Same to you as well
Susan, very interesting word , "transactional". I never thought of some relationships in that way. Great advice.
In the history of many cultures, marriage was (and still is) completely transactional in that it was a merging of families for financial reasons. Even in the U.S., and prior to the sexual revolution and a bit before with more women working during and after WWII, marriages were a transactional in that women had the babies and stayed home with them, and men went out earning the money to support everyone financially. Maybe some would disagree that, that is transactional but it seems so to me. My point is that until recent history - let's say the last 75 years - marriage was transactional to at least some degree. In emotional ways, it still is - we expect resiprocal respect, care, and treatment. It may not be financial transaction, but marriage is still give and take.
This was a powerful message, Susan. I truly believe the majority of women are transactional (75%). There is an old adage: "How you got them, is how you lose them", which answers the title of the video with a resounding --TRUE!
I believe want someone starts they'll never stop
Goes hand in hand with rejection or disconnection from the significant other
watching your videos is becoming my habit now. Keep it up Susan! :)
Absolutely horrible advice... “one-time cheater” just blames the circumstances?! Drop all of them! Respect yourself!!!
As always, thank you for your videos! I love your content and appreciate your point of view. You are encouraging to listen to =)
I have been unfaithful in the past, but I am far more conscious now, & I would never betray a partner’s trust. People certainly do change, & believing otherwise is extremely cynical.
If as female cheats it never just happened. She has cultivated and encouraged the encounter!
Toneman I would say that you are right,.
Susan, I really appreciate you replying to my messages. I've listened to many male dating coaches on this and many are of the belief that women are bi*ches and trusting them is heart break waiting to happen.
I've been cheated upon and there was a storm of emotions which I've gone thru. Still, I can't bring myself to treat women like they're a commodity or nothing. I've been raised by a gentleman to be one. Please help me with this dilemma I'm facing when it comes to trusting women. Thanks.
Gentlemen are always appreciated by true ladies. Thanks for your lovely share. We do value men such as yourself!!
I agree with Susan. Please don't harden your heart against all women because of the betrayal of a few. There are so many women (like myself) who are loving and loyal too. I'm single because I refuse to date men who aren't gentlemen (which to me means someone who treats me with the same care, respect and kindness that I treat him). Best of luck 💙
@@LMCEK Thank you. Your positive reply reinforces my belief in the good. I appreciate there are women like you out there who don't lower their standards just for the sake of dating. I pray you meet your match and I meet mine.
Agreed!! Perfect answer, @@LMCEK
@@zaslamel56 Thanks, I hope we both do too❤️ it's funny, as I was writing to you I realized that the information also applied to myself. Trust me, you are not alone in your feelings. Many people are struggling with similar feelings 💙 However there are definitely good people out there who would love and value us if given the chance. I have no doubt !!!!
Hey Susan, how should I react to a woman with past abuse issues. I love her but I’m afraid she will always cause mental and emotional anguish for me as she has. Should I move on or keep fighting for someone I’m not sure is able to love and respect me.
First of all, your videos have helped me look at things differently...but on the cheating issue, once a cheater always a cheater. A friend of mine had that issue & she told me she was warned by one of his friends that he was a habitual cheater, & she was heartbroken when she found out he was cheating on her... Your video was too short, needed more depth and examples. Thanks for all your help in the past!
Great articulation and breakdown. Appreciate you
I love your videos...they're so relatable
Aww, thank you. I try to make it so. Appreciate your comment, Ms. Pittenger.
Good analysis. I was expecting you to answer "yes in all cases", but there are exceptions.
Ms Sarah; you have pretty much described my narc. She looks at life as transactional. With the characteristics you wrote about. She didn't think I knew of at least 4 affairs. So I Gray rock her..whew. Her response a blank stare. So I started to walk away and she went into a rage and stated it was nobody's business..whew I left quietly as possible so as not to get blackmail.
False. I cheated once and will never do again!! It was the hardest thing I ever did! I was literally physically sick the whole time. But I still love him and one day want us to be together someday again the right way.
Great thing that you realize what you did. Healing will make things better.🤗
IAM glad you feel like that, most don't, good luck on your marriage
Did you even watch the video?
My friend goes to silence. I don't know. ..please tell me how to solve it
True!! Take it from someone who lived with a pathological cheater for 15 years giving him second chances over and over again, the longest I had him not cheating was about 2years. He couldn't help himself. Eventually I realised he would never change! People don't change!!
It is the lie hiding devalueing me as significant other that hurts when someone cheating.
Never take a cheater back. Shame on you if you do.
It's been 15yrs now since my spouse cheated. Well assuming she doesn't now.
There are some signs of cheater u should pay attention to that ...1.she hide her fon.2.she delet her call history. 3.she has set password for PC.3.she is looking more happy recently than before. 4.she is paying much attention to her looks than before. 5.she chang haircuts
Correct! 👍
I left my ex was seeing others so was he then he was seeing someone else I realised I still loved him we got back but he keeps on cheating going with her and with me lies through his teeth saying he's not seeing her. I ended up with anxiety I know I'm better than this but I keep being with him what is wrong with being treated disrespectful I know I'm better he says he loves me wants me can't let me go but he wants her also I know I must walk away as I've no respect for him he will continue be a cheater with her deceitful and liar
There are controlling partners who are with weaker people who try to break things off many times and can't seem to ever get it to stick. So they latch on to someone outside of the relationship hoping for a rescue. It's not right. People need to be able to set their boundaries. But it's, to me, at least understandable. These are the ones where you see someone cheat who you NEVER thought would. Saying this gets a lot of hate from certain people for some reason.
As long as you can't read the other persons thoughts I would be very careful. Manipulative people who do not want to lose a prospect will make sure to appear very honest, decent and humble if they know it's what you value. After experiences I made myself and observed in my environment I woulf rather end something earlier than I would have liked then regret giving too many chances. The latter doesn't seem to pay off in the end. If there is one topic people lie about in relationships it is about cheating.
Wow Susan. This is amazing advice. Look at their "philosophical beliefs". My belief is in honesty serial monogamy. Let's enjoy and see how it goes. I like living on my own, traveling alone etc. So married men suit me. 10 years. 4 years. And I can judge before if they're habitual cheaters then no thanks. If it's just me, then of course we are exclusive. One knows. Mine are usually exes from my teens, early 20s and I'm "the one that got away."
I agree w you on yer comment, a series of whirlwinds takes place & it happens . I once was out of state for couple days & met this lady, but I resisted. But yrs prior I yielded... not again. My darling is my sweetheart.
I will never forgive a cheater
Forgive but don't forget so you can look out for the signs in your next relationship. Never take a cheater back, ever. Walk away and revenge is a dish best served cold. Cut them out like a cancer.
I would say most people don't cheat in happy relationships, so if they're cheating either the relationship died long ago or the person is a narcissist.
Not always.
the scenario she mentioned about the conference is exactly what happened to me… cheated on me with another man.
VERY TRUE!
thank you
Good one, Susan❣
Pressed like before i watch 😋
Glad I never cheated with any of my relationships.
Once a Cheater, Always a Cheater, If they do not Cheat Again, It is because they lacked ample opportunity. We can say the same of a lot of things, Alcohol, Drugs, Etc. Flawed Moral Character will Prevail, They just need opportunity.
False , I was faithfull 20 years wife #1 , was for 6 years with wife #2 and I cheated on her . we was married 17 years been with my Girlfriend 4 years have never cheated on her.
He broke up with me 1,5 months ago. I cheated on him once. I understood that cheating was the biggest fault of my life and after that we tried to rescue our 5 year relationship for 6 months. After 6 months he said that he cant stand it no more. That he has no more romantic feelings towards me but he will probably never love anybody like he used to love me. I begged and cried. We dont live together but we have a dog so we went for a few walks. It was very nice time but we act just like friends.
He said that he doesnt want to give me false hopes because he doesnt see relationship with me no more. I dont know what to do.... I love him so much. Should I go into no contact forever or continue meetings to bring happy memories from times before my infidelity?
ola lewinska Although we all know that cheating is wrong from just reading your it sounds like you’re truly sorry and that you’re doing your best not to let it happen again since it did only happened once. I would honestly say that since he is no longer interested the best thing to do is to learn from it and it would be something to remember before your next relationship in life. Although most people will condemn you for your fault here it doesn’t mean that you are any of the names nor comments that they’ll say to you and call you it means that you still have a chance in life and leave your fault in the past. Just my humble opinion and hope that helps
I can probably forgive the cheater but I would not ever be able to forget. I would always have a mental photo of him with the other woman, which is probably how your ex feels, therefore, not want to be in romantic relationship anymore. I think the best thing to do is to stop contact so you can can both heal.
So in the very beginning of my relationship with my girl like before I asked her out she was messing with two other guys and I didn’t know but then I asked her out and with in the first three months of being together she cheated on me with two different men but we weren’t that serious to the point where we were committed we were still feeling each other out I literally asked her out the first 3 months of knowing her I know I messed up and should’ve definitely waited before asking her out but would you consider that cheating and if so do you guys think she would do that again? Please help someone please help
Just found you and now im a fan
How do you cheat and not intend to?!?
Angela, there is something in what you've just said,
Well for my wife this statement is very true, I live with that for 35 years out of 42 years of marriage, if it wasn't sex than it was sex texting to any guy that tickle her fantasy expect me
Yes
How will my ex lover know im better and changed to the man i wish i was. Ive had mental health issues but i just avoided them and lowkey developed a bad habit after a few years of loneliness and some isolation before i got into a serious relationship with her. I had a cybersex(sexting)/porn compulsion and during our relationship id do it when i was overwhelmed with bad thoughts and i was slowly fighting the behavior on my own also my mental health. I lied twice to her because i was ashamed until she saw sexting on my apps. Never exchanged my number or had real intentions or convos with them. She decided to finally break up with me as i broke our trust and hearts. Im going to therapy now and focusing my energy to change all my negatives and put positive habits and goals in. I just cant help but think of her daily because she was truly wonderful and she didn’t deserve that because i do love her and never meant to harm her. Hope she will speak to me again
But can a guy really change.. mine dated a girl for 2 weeks and only hugged her but left her cause he realized it was wrong.. could he change??
It's not true at all. People can change. They don't change overnight but they can. They have to really want to. It's possible.
Agreed 💯
Its false hope that she will change
I agree
I have a iPhone but I can't find magnify on iTunes
They don't change
I have a relationship with my boyfriend for 8 years now. And he had cheated on me for multiple times. As far as i know. And i know that hes always sexting other guys and have some sex contact just for texting and stuff. And everytime when i find out. We would delete everything together and stuff. But he keeps searching for other contacts just for his guilty pleasure. He says that its like a drug to him. And hes always like. I really love you. Ive always been there for you. U are my everything and everytime i believe him. And just now for the past 3 months i caught him having contact again. And we deleted again. And now i found out that he has this sexual fantasy about my best friend. I just dont know what to do anymore ... i am so lost. I do love him. But why does he keep doing this..