I doubt anyone monitors this anymore but i discovered today I am a 9. I am so so so grateful to know I am not broken. Being labelled as a people pleaser and that meant all the things I am were coping mechanisms and needed to be fixed. I cried several times in the Mr. Rogers movie. I have the volcanic anger. The 1+1 =1. So many take aways. Thank you, thank you, thank you. And I sleep through meditation too. I have a tribe!!!
Nope I’m here with you sharing all those traits. Yes I love these people so….I must love myself!❤ Grateful for this panel and Beatrice’s incredible expertise
I come back to these panels every once in a while because i find them so insightful. And i feel like i learn something new everytime! I am so happy for you that you have found your type, it can be both painful and beautiful at the same time. I have a type 9 to, so i know the pain of realising all of the time wasted.
As a 9, I absolutely agree with the last fellow on the panel when he said to really find his own path was about NOT checking it out with other people. It is great to have close friends to talk things over with when times are uncertain, but I often, paradoxically, can find myself more confused or more pressured after "getting advice," because I feel the incentive is coming from elsewhere, instead of inside myself. Is this what I want, or just what someone else wants for me? When it comes to the really important decisions, I think the challenge to 9s is to face the inner turmoil and indecision largely alone, because as soon as other interests come in, we can acquiesce. Just some thoughts.
yes yes i agree "because I feel the incentive is coming from elsewhere" this is so true to me, i have been trying to figure out how to find what "I" want. and it is hard to find that. what is somewhat working for me journaling about my feelings all of them, most of them i find surprisingly is hate and anger. and with journaling i started to learn that somethings like financial independent is a big thing for me, and not tolerating continues misbehavior from people close to me. it feels great to stand up to something and feel the support coming from inside of me.
Half-heartedly agreeing to things you have no intention of doing is kind of a problem for me. I never even thought of that as being passive aggressive before
Im a 9w8 and even I get pissed when my friend, who is also a 9, will not wake up to when he does this. He says that his friend will say hes coming over and rather than say he has things hes doing so he doesnt get intruded on he just complains thats hes coming over when I am egging him on to say what he wants to say. With him its a bit extreme though. He will never openly stick up for himself, and he doesnt realize that that actually makes people more annoyed with him because it is very obvious when he doesnt want to do something but goes along with it anyway.
God I love 9s. They are so pure and welcoming patient kindhearted ppl. From what I've seen they (mostly not all of them probably) believe people are inherently good that's adorable and we need more 9s I mean I need 9s in my life - Ennea 4 here Hope you have a GREAT DAY!!!!!! 💖
It would be interesting to see some younger 9’s on a panel. These have all done significant amounts of work. I only discovered this about 3 weeks ago and now I am aware of a mountain of work I need to do. It has helped to see you all share.
Hey Julia, I'm 28 and a newly typed Social 9 (about 4-5 months ago) and what a learning journey that has been for me! The passive aggressive thing has hit me hard haha!
@@mattmusgrave2838 Yes I was a serial passive-aggressive. I have to work hard to express my dislike of things and ask for what I want. I'm working on it and developing strategies. There are some faulty ways of thinking behind it which I'm cleaning out.
I mistyped as a 5w6 for a looong time, but now realise I am an unhealthy 9 (into 6) which makes a lot of sense as to why I feel so paralyzed by my anxious tendencies. currently working towards Acting In Love rather than Withholding In Peace
For several years I would volunteer to sing at church. I called it "fear therapy" because it was truly facing all my fears head on. It was excruciating during the experience but I was proud of myself afterward.
I loved this panel! My husband is a self preservation 9, and he's had trouble acknowledging his own feelings of sadness and anger. I try to make space for him to express himself and encourage him to open up. I am a 6, and his input and relaxed, calm nature is a godsend! As someone who is a nervous wreck 24/7, my husband's multi faceted and unassuming approach is fantastic.
A fellow 4 learning about the other types' characteristics. Here at 13:56 it was amazing to notice how all the people on the panel share this aura of modesty that Beatrice was talking about! ❤
in your opinion which skilled trade is more suitable for istp mechanic or electrician ... give the logical answer based on the function of the ISTP ..?
*I'm a 9w1 and I take care of my grandmother who has alzheimers. Every week gets harder and harder and she can be stubborn and conniving. I once asked if she would like a hamburger. I then cooked it for her and after I presented it to her she said she didn't want it and never asked for it in a very snotty attitude. I threw the burger across the kitchen in rage. I regained control immediately.*
That's so powerful of you that you take care of her and even if she may not seem like she's appreciating your help it's so clear that you're an awesome fella. Wish you luck!!! You got this I can feel it
I am an 8 and - as a small girl - sometimes found the fact that my dad was my dad absolutely UNLIKELY as we were (and are) so incredibly different . He is a 9 and I wish I had discovered the enneagram way earlier! This is so helpful!
I had to watch all 9 videos to figure out that I am a 9. I was really confused, cause I could relate myself to all types. I even almost found myself in 8, and then I was like:" I'm definitely not 8, but what number am I?" 😁😁😁. Yeah, a niiiiiineeee.
If you look closely, this panel is very bright with each 9’s light coming out of themselves 😉 Ps: I’m a 9, I enjoyed the energy of this panel very much.
I’m a 6w5 but am fully willing and able to move towards the healthy side of 9 and envelop more peace within myself and others around me. I cried heavily when the 2 middle panelists talked about how powerful unconditional, universal love is - it was such a sobering reminder of why we are here and how we connect to each other. To see past the ego, society, social media and the voices of the ‘shoulds’ is so freeing. I love this panel and the 6 panel so much. I see my humor with the 6 and am able to laugh more at my paranoia but the 9 panel, I felt this deeply, the aversion to anger and how they learned to embrace themselves fully is so inspiring. Thank you for this Beatrice and Michael and the New School x
I’ve recently found that I am likely a type 9 after being (mis)typed as 4 and (mostly) 5 for a while. The confusing part is that even though I seem to do the self-forgetting thing and often play the mediator, I do not usually think of myself as very easygoing, friendly, supportive, etc. In fact, I’ve been judged many times for being rude, aloof, insensitive, etc. So that’s kind of how I thought of myself. Despite that, I still seem to get along with my family better than the rest of them. It’s strange. I have an Asperger’s diagnosis so I guess that has something to do with it, and is probably why I mistyped as 5. I’m very introverted and bookish. The “fear of separation” thing also threw me off, because like, I’m already separated? Why would I fear that more than being insignificant or incompetent? I’d say my strongest fear is being defective or evil (which had me thinking about 1 for a while as well). I’ve read that 9s tend to mistype anyway and I suppose being neurodivergent complicates things. I’m just not quite what people expect.
Wow it’s like you read my mind haha. I also thought I was a 5 for a long long time. In fact I really thought I was most types BUT the 9. But accepting I’m probably a 9 has helped me be more honest about my anger and struggles. But I also am frequently considered aloof or distant and have had friends call me out on not being vulnerable enough or sharing enough. It’s hard because I don’t see it. I think we have good relationships but because I don’t ask things of them or want them to be too reliant on me it leads to struggles. So I have the same question of ‘is my fear actually being separated when I actively separate myself for my own safety?’ Maybe it has something more to do with I don’t want people to see me as I am and decide I’m not worth being around. So I kinda keep the wall up. It may be similar with you. But yeah the fear of incompetence thing is so relatable. Which is why I mistyped as a 5 for a while. But it’s actually a 9 thing too! Particularly when it’s in a workplace. Wanting to play your role well but not get too much attention for it is absolutely a 9 trait.
This is so beautiful and amazing. Thank you for sharing. I related with a lot of what they were saying and when the one fellow started talking about his service with hospice patients I started to cry. I’ve felt a calling for a while to sit by the side of people who are dying so they won’t be alone. I don’t think anyone should die thinking no one cares that they existed.
The "Enneagram and Coffee" podcast host recommended watching panels to assist in determining types. I'm still going to watch the remainder of the panels (I'm conflicted between 9, 4, and 5). Cannot believe how much I relate to these folks. The posture, energy, mannerisms, and anecdotes of this panel are so validating! Thank you for hosting and posting. :)
I was the only non-first-born child in my original family so I just knew they all had it handled, not that I was over looked. Just content and ready to go along with these wonderful, competent people:)
Thank you so much for this! Every panel member provided a different, but helpful insight that was incredibly affirming. I texted my daughter (who introduced me to the Enneagram) that I couldn't stop laughing and shouting "Yes!" throughout the entire presentation. Profoundly thankful to all of you.
I'm new to Enneagram and embracing that I am a 9. I really only meant to watch a few minutes of this and then save the rest for later (which for a 9 may or may not have actually happened...lol) But I couldn't stop watching... it was so engaging and so insightful. I really enjoyed it a lot. Thanks to everyone who was a part of this!
Yes!!! I'm a 9. And have a genetic disorder. I've always felt overlooked and looked down upon. I struggle with feeling like people treat me differently. I had a jod that discriminated against me, I asked coworkers if they thought I was being treated differently they all said yes. So this has added to my anxiety. It's not easy. I don't drive either and probably never will. So all of this adds to my 6 feelings.
If anyone is still out there looking at comments, I just found these videos. I had tested as Type 1, and Panel 1 really resonated with me, but then I watched 9, and that resonated just as strongly. I feel like I morph between both of them. As a kid in a dysfunctional household, my brother was the comedic relief, but also possibly the scapegoat, and I was the peacekeeper by making sure everything was perfectly neat and orderly . We have both talked about our hypervigilance of scanning the entire room for things out of place, tension in the air, etc. I'm feeling like maybe I'm overthinking how to decide which number I am, 😆 when what I should be doing is just observing myself more, learning more about both, and it will naturally become clear. 🤔 My inner critic, BTW can be really incessant and loud. I always thought it was my father's voice, what he would have been telling/yelling to me. I cried when I learned it was in me, and again when panel 1 talked about it, other people struggling with this hounding in our heads! Such a relief in a way. I'm trying to recognize it, comfort it, and distract it. Music helps. I started learning ukulele over the pandemic, and it's an amazing way to focus, to calm the voice .🎶
I am hsppy for you that you have started your enneagram journey. I struggled for a long time to figure out my type. For me it has helped to not think about it logically, but trust my intuition more. Like which insights was 'hitting me hardest'. As a 9, and i can only speak for myself, i don't experiance a strong inner critical voice. Yes i can be critical and feel that there are things i should be doing, but it is more a sence of opinions coming from the outside. I hope that helps 😊
Very recently, I have been encouraged to explore enneagrams. I relate very much to 9. This panel discussion has been so incredibly helpful for me. Thank you!
Nines, me, love Oneness and it doesn’t matter how they achieve, through spiritual practice, psychedelics, through being in love…we’re sensitive to lack of oneness. It’s truly the most spiritual of all the numbers. I wish I had more nines in my life.
Thank you Beatrice for your work that you have put out into the world! Can a 9 with PTSD display a lot of characteristics of a SP4? My ieQ9 wavered back and forth between a 4 and 9, and I feel that I could be either, but I don't feel Iike I struggle with envy because I want everyone to be equal and feel accepted and loved. I do feel like I don't measure up and wish that I had been taught how to have healthier relationships rather than being raised "Lord of the Flies" style. I think I identify with the SX9 on the panel so much. I would love to learn more about how trauma can affect the enneagram. Omigosh I cried so hard when he quoted the Mister Rogers movie (which I totally loved by the way) "I am a mistake."
This is just speculation, but in regards to the man speaking to the sadness in the group who stated he is married to a 4: I wonder if he is more aware of sadness in groups he is in now later in life after being involved with a 4 who likely notices and speaks to this aspect of people/groups? Perhaps not, but I’ve noticed this tendency in myself as a 9. I was convinced I was a 4 for a while because I took on qualities of the 4 individual closest to me whiteout realizing it. However, it does make sense when Bea said all types feel a sense of powerlessness or feelings of deficiency and maybe that is the cause of his noticing of sadness for him along with being highly self-developed. Just food for thought.
"What makes you SADDEST in life? ... What can we do for a 9 to empathize more deeply?" ... I'm just gonna go out on a limb and guess that was one of my fellow 4s ;) lol
I am a 6. When I first found out about the enneagram a year ago I read about the different types and 9 was one I considered. I know now I am not. Watching all of these panels I can say that this one was by far the hardest to decipher what these people are really like. So much so that it almost frustrates me. 😂. I work with a young guy I believe to be a 9 and he is so easy going and generally gets work done but usually seems tired and when I ask a question I don’t know if he is telling me yes, no, maybe or just not answering. He like to reply with “ I feel like it is xyz...”. And I say, a yes, no, or I don’t know are the only possible answers to this question. Not I feel. So irritating, yet I long so much to be able to relax like that.
@Ryan Bielemeier - Your comment made me chuckle & snort because I’m a 9 and my 10-yr old is a 6 and he gets totally frustrated with my answers whenever he asks me a question and is expecting me to state a strong opinion one way or another. It reminds me of Harry Truman famously asking “Give me a one-handed economist! All of my economists say, ‘on the one hand...on the other.’” 😁
9s are deeply rooted in common sense and have a hard time not holding grudges against lapses in common sense. 9s respond positively to demonstrations of intestinal fortitude. If you wan't to be able to motivate a 9 you have to be capable of demonstrating genuine intestinal fortitude.
If one is stuck in growth mode a 9 will react to them in a positively aggressive fashion. One who is disentigrating will be more likely to experience the disentigrating traits of the 9 unless that 9 is stuck in growth mode. We all mirror eachother unless stuck in growth mode. Any number stuck in growth mode will bring about positivity no matter what number they are relating to.
Creeping on 9 content because I love 9’s IRL ❤☺️ I also love 7’s. As a 4w5 it’s like a 10,000 page Dostoevsky novel with a funeral dirge for background music in my head 🤣 plus I’m an SP. So I like to soak up the sunshine from these types 🌞 😂
As a nine I just LOVE being in a flow state, I don’t need to know what I want because my soul does and always guides me to it. I find the enneagram to be a bit off putting as if the nines “issues” are somehow wrong.
The self preservation has a strong 8 wing for sure, even though he says he relates to the 8 least. Self preservation 9’s usually have alot of grit in my experience, coming from an sp 9w8.
I was in resistance, accepting I may be a 9. I kept seeing my mom visually when I researched it, not myself. This was the place where I found my resistance bc I'm estranged from my mom. If nothing else, it does help me connect within and see too how I mimicked her behavior. Can you be more than one? I'm still unsettled bc I see myself in all of them. Some more than others.
9s are the one type that sees themselves in all of them. Healthy 9s are really different from unhealthy ones so I wouldn't worry about being the same type as your mom. The fact that you're estranged shows you set a boundary with your mom which is something I wouldn't expect most unhealthy 9s to do.
I'm pretty sure I'm a six but I remember as a kid, I'd meet some of my other classmates and I'd notice something missing. I remember noticing that there was nothing specific they wanted to do. I'm someone who likes to get their own way so I was taken back by this. They were usually physically larger people to. I remember thinking, "if I was this person, I'd be throwing my weight around more to get my way. Do they not know they clearly have tons of power?" I guess they didn't because they were a nine, probably.
Well if I had any doubts about which number I'm closest to i don't anymore. I do have alot of suppressed anger but im also good at finding a link to anyone. Im dating an 8 and I have to really push against emeshment. Im trying to break out of the false belief caring for myself is being selfish.
Every test I take, I get 9 and by a LONG shot - like 98-99%. But I have had depression, anxiety and ANGER for years and years. I keep hearing that 9's don't know they are angry or just aren't angry or some version as that. Me, nope! I feel like I'm always angry. Anyone else? Am I really not a 9 then?
Melissa Davis Have you looked into the possibility that you are a 9 but with every enneagram type, we have wings (the number on either side of you), and maybe you are operating out of your 8 wing? My daughter is a nine that can operate out of her 8 wing so she can have outbursts of anger.
9s are always angry! we just struggle to find out how to express it and have a full healthy relationship with it involving stages of discovery, acceptance, and release.
I identify very strongly with 9. I get angry fairly often too but I do get angry about 9 things. Having my routine messed up or feeling too put upon, and generally just having my peace disturbed. For me it usually feels like it is from intense built up frustration that has boiled over but then I will be angry about it for a long time. Probably because I never actually do anything about it but then if I do do something about it... things can get intense. Rarely though, and I mean rarely, I do get caught up in some true righteous anger that I actually feel kind of good about. I think that has only happened once or twice in my life. I imagine other people get that nice kind of anger a lot more. I also have some anxiety issues and I am sure I have had issues with depression but not diagnosed
@@TurtleGold22 I relate with your comment. I'm a 9w8 and sometimes I will have a burst of anger that arises out of seemingly nowhere. I cannot stand hypocrisy or people who take advantage of others, and this is where my 8 wing truly shines. If you want to see a 9w8 finally use their voice, do something that stirs up one of their loved ones. They will be there front and center to call you out. No one messes with my loved ones, and I always shock people who barely know me when this occurs because the girl who is always observing is finally making her presence known. They cannot believe it, but the telling sign is when I suddenly realize that I had an outburst and I try to rectify it immediately by making everyone comfortable again. Lol. Sometimes by telling a joke, distracting them with another topic of conversation and then withdrawing back into observation, or by simply disappearing until I'm needed again.
9's know that Father's are just as vital to thee family unit as a Mother contrary to what everyone else is sayin, the world tells us by how it's worked and moulded the Father is one part of a Trinity with the Child and the Mother but people choose to stroke their own egos, laugh and ignore but Truth alway's knocks when it's being ignored.
I found it very helpful to reflect on the situations when your feeling of not belonging or your 'nineness', if you will, comes out the most. Sexuals have a sparkle in their eyes, they tend to soak you into a conversation like a dry sponge. That's the merging the panel spoke about. Me as a social nine, I allways check on how everybody is doing and it's nearly impossible for me - if I'm in a group of people to have a sense of self. I'm like a flowy ghost above the group. Social nines are distracted maybe the easiest, I'd say. But the good side is they are also the most outgoing and expressive and extrovert. It's a little hard to spot them. Get confused with sevens often. The selv-preservation nines are like a rock. If they sit, they sit. They worry about if everybody is comfy, if It's warm enough of if there will be enough food at the party. They are the earthy and calmest. I hope this helps. I'm relatively new to the eneagram but I know a bunch of nines in all different shapes. Best of Luck!
At 1.10:35. The 8 started talking about his wife. My first that was, this dude sucks he is not supporting his wife. But then I remembered, he’s and 8, they always come off that way initially, but often times there is a soft and caring person under that hard prickly shell
So true! I think a lotoff 9's has a wrong image off what 8's are like. They have a lot to bring, and i think 8's and 9's have a lot to learn from each other
With being a 9, that's a feeling that would be somewhat expected given what a 9's fixations/attachments are. It sounds off when it hits the ear because the 9 thinks of themselves as nobody special; that they're being/getting oversold regarding their perceived value of self.
I love this panel and seeing how different the approache is between the different subtypes. I can't help noticing, that the woman in the middle has a very different energy that all the other 9's. I know it is not my place to categorise and type other people, but her vibe doen't speak 9 to me. Am i the only one thinking this? Her movements are very agitated and less calm. off cource this could be for a number of different reasons. I am just curious.
To me her energy also seems very scattered, which is another classic 9 tendency. Telling a story, getting on a tangent, forgetting what you were talking about in the first place, and eventually trailing off into an underwhelming conclusion that doesn't actually wrap anything up. Saying this as someone with a lot of 9 energy myself. This panel is so useful!
Look into tritypes, I’m a 9,6,4 tritype and I work with a 9,7,2 tritype, we are similar but yet very different, he is way more laid back and I am more of a worrier bouncing between 9&6.
I doubt anyone monitors this anymore but i discovered today I am a 9. I am so so so grateful to know I am not broken. Being labelled as a people pleaser and that meant all the things I am were coping mechanisms and needed to be fixed. I cried several times in the Mr. Rogers movie. I have the volcanic anger. The 1+1 =1. So many take aways. Thank you, thank you, thank you. And I sleep through meditation too. I have a tribe!!!
You are definitely not alone and I love reading the comments as I learn from those as well. 😘
Nope I’m here with you sharing all those traits. Yes I love these people so….I must love myself!❤ Grateful for this panel and Beatrice’s incredible expertise
I come back to these panels every once in a while because i find them so insightful. And i feel like i learn something new everytime!
I am so happy for you that you have found your type, it can be both painful and beautiful at the same time. I have a type 9 to, so i know the pain of realising all of the time wasted.
I’m mentoring this (2024). 😅
As a 9, I absolutely agree with the last fellow on the panel when he said to really find his own path was about NOT checking it out with other people. It is great to have close friends to talk things over with when times are uncertain, but I often, paradoxically, can find myself more confused or more pressured after "getting advice," because I feel the incentive is coming from elsewhere, instead of inside myself. Is this what I want, or just what someone else wants for me? When it comes to the really important decisions, I think the challenge to 9s is to face the inner turmoil and indecision largely alone, because as soon as other interests come in, we can acquiesce. Just some thoughts.
Totally agree
yes yes i agree
"because I feel the incentive is coming from elsewhere" this is so true to me, i have been trying to figure out how to find what "I" want. and it is hard to find that. what is somewhat working for me journaling about my feelings all of them, most of them i find surprisingly is hate and anger. and with journaling i started to learn that somethings like financial independent is a big thing for me, and not tolerating continues misbehavior from people close to me.
it feels great to stand up to something and feel the support coming from inside of me.
Big stuff here. That speaks to me but it’s also so hard
Half-heartedly agreeing to things you have no intention of doing is kind of a problem for me. I never even thought of that as being passive aggressive before
Im a 9w8 and even I get pissed when my friend, who is also a 9, will not wake up to when he does this. He says that his friend will say hes coming over and rather than say he has things hes doing so he doesnt get intruded on he just complains thats hes coming over when I am egging him on to say what he wants to say. With him its a bit extreme though. He will never openly stick up for himself, and he doesnt realize that that actually makes people more annoyed with him because it is very obvious when he doesnt want to do something but goes along with it anyway.
God I love 9s. They are so pure and welcoming patient kindhearted ppl. From what I've seen they (mostly not all of them probably) believe people are inherently good that's adorable and we need more 9s I mean I need 9s in my life - Ennea 4 here Hope you have a GREAT DAY!!!!!! 💖
It would be interesting to see some younger 9’s on a panel. These have all done significant amounts of work. I only discovered this about 3 weeks ago and now I am aware of a mountain of work I need to do. It has helped to see you all share.
Hey Julia, I'm 28 and a newly typed Social 9 (about 4-5 months ago) and what a learning journey that has been for me! The passive aggressive thing has hit me hard haha!
I am social 9, too. I'm 32 years old. Its been SO difficult to see what type I really am, I relate mostly to 2s.
@@mattmusgrave2838 Yes I was a serial passive-aggressive. I have to work hard to express my dislike of things and ask for what I want. I'm working on it and developing strategies. There are some faulty ways of thinking behind it which I'm cleaning out.
@@mattmusgrave2838 I've found Caroline Leaf's brain detox really helpful.
I mistyped as a 5w6 for a looong time, but now realise I am an unhealthy 9 (into 6) which makes a lot of sense as to why I feel so paralyzed by my anxious tendencies. currently working towards Acting In Love rather than Withholding In Peace
"Acting in love" vs "Withholding in peace." Genius. Where does this come from?
For several years I would volunteer to sing at church. I called it "fear therapy" because it was truly facing all my fears head on. It was excruciating during the experience but I was proud of myself afterward.
I loved this panel! My husband is a self preservation 9, and he's had trouble acknowledging his own feelings of sadness and anger. I try to make space for him to express himself and encourage him to open up. I am a 6, and his input and relaxed, calm nature is a godsend! As someone who is a nervous wreck 24/7, my husband's multi faceted and unassuming approach is fantastic.
A fellow 4 learning about the other types' characteristics. Here at 13:56 it was amazing to notice how all the people on the panel share this aura of modesty that Beatrice was talking about! ❤
Just a friendly enneagram 1 here learning better about my good pals the 9's!
me too!
in your opinion which skilled trade is more suitable for istp mechanic or electrician ... give the logical answer based on the function of the ISTP ..?
@@antondeannova7016 mechanic
@@antondeannova7016 electrician is more xSTJ. Mechanic is more xSTP.
*I'm a 9w1 and I take care of my grandmother who has alzheimers. Every week gets harder and harder and she can be stubborn and conniving. I once asked if she would like a hamburger. I then cooked it for her and after I presented it to her she said she didn't want it and never asked for it in a very snotty attitude. I threw the burger across the kitchen in rage. I regained control immediately.*
That's so powerful of you that you take care of her and even if she may not seem like she's appreciating your help it's so clear that you're an awesome fella. Wish you luck!!! You got this I can feel it
As long as you keep reminding yourself that, that isn’t who she truly is at heart, then it’ll be fine
I'm a 4.. here to learn more about my favorite honeys, the sweetheart nines :)
Same here!!
My husband is a 9 and I’m so blessed by him. He is the sweetest most beautiful soul. I hear you ❤️♥️🙌🏽🌈
@@stitchwitch-c1q We’re divorced now lol
I am an 8 and - as a small girl - sometimes found the fact that my dad was my dad absolutely UNLIKELY as we were (and are) so incredibly different . He is a 9 and I wish I had discovered the enneagram way earlier! This is so helpful!
I had to watch all 9 videos to figure out that I am a 9. I was really confused, cause I could relate myself to all types. I even almost found myself in 8, and then I was like:" I'm definitely not 8, but what number am I?" 😁😁😁. Yeah, a niiiiiineeee.
Same lol, I noticed that I can act like all of the types when I decide to do something
If you look closely, this panel is very bright with each 9’s light coming out of themselves 😉
Ps: I’m a 9, I enjoyed the energy of this panel very much.
I’m a 6w5 but am fully willing and able to move towards the healthy side of 9 and envelop more peace within myself and others around me. I cried heavily when the 2 middle panelists talked about how powerful unconditional, universal love is - it was such a sobering reminder of why we are here and how we connect to each other. To see past the ego, society, social media and the voices of the ‘shoulds’ is so freeing. I love this panel and the 6 panel so much. I see my humor with the 6 and am able to laugh more at my paranoia but the 9 panel, I felt this deeply, the aversion to anger and how they learned to embrace themselves fully is so inspiring. Thank you for this Beatrice and Michael and the New School x
I’ve recently found that I am likely a type 9 after being (mis)typed as 4 and (mostly) 5 for a while. The confusing part is that even though I seem to do the self-forgetting thing and often play the mediator, I do not usually think of myself as very easygoing, friendly, supportive, etc. In fact, I’ve been judged many times for being rude, aloof, insensitive, etc. So that’s kind of how I thought of myself. Despite that, I still seem to get along with my family better than the rest of them. It’s strange. I have an Asperger’s diagnosis so I guess that has something to do with it, and is probably why I mistyped as 5. I’m very introverted and bookish. The “fear of separation” thing also threw me off, because like, I’m already separated? Why would I fear that more than being insignificant or incompetent? I’d say my strongest fear is being defective or evil (which had me thinking about 1 for a while as well).
I’ve read that 9s tend to mistype anyway and I suppose being neurodivergent complicates things. I’m just not quite what people expect.
Wow it’s like you read my mind haha. I also thought I was a 5 for a long long time. In fact I really thought I was most types BUT the 9. But accepting I’m probably a 9 has helped me be more honest about my anger and struggles. But I also am frequently considered aloof or distant and have had friends call me out on not being vulnerable enough or sharing enough. It’s hard because I don’t see it. I think we have good relationships but because I don’t ask things of them or want them to be too reliant on me it leads to struggles. So I have the same question of ‘is my fear actually being separated when I actively separate myself for my own safety?’ Maybe it has something more to do with I don’t want people to see me as I am and decide I’m not worth being around. So I kinda keep the wall up. It may be similar with you. But yeah the fear of incompetence thing is so relatable. Which is why I mistyped as a 5 for a while. But it’s actually a 9 thing too! Particularly when it’s in a workplace. Wanting to play your role well but not get too much attention for it is absolutely a 9 trait.
9w1. You have the gift. Rarely do speakers resonate with me the way you do. Please continue to shine your light and share these truths🌟☀
This is so beautiful and amazing. Thank you for sharing. I related with a lot of what they were saying and when the one fellow started talking about his service with hospice patients I started to cry. I’ve felt a calling for a while to sit by the side of people who are dying so they won’t be alone. I don’t think anyone should die thinking no one cares that they existed.
The "Enneagram and Coffee" podcast host recommended watching panels to assist in determining types. I'm still going to watch the remainder of the panels (I'm conflicted between 9, 4, and 5). Cannot believe how much I relate to these folks. The posture, energy, mannerisms, and anecdotes of this panel are so validating! Thank you for hosting and posting. :)
I also cannot decide what I am between 4, 5, and 9. Look up "tritype 459". I think Carl Jung was a 459
I am also confused between these same 3 types!
I think I'm a 4, but I definitely have 9 and 5 traits. Absolutely no chance that I'm 12367or8.
I was the only non-first-born child in my original family so I just knew they all had it handled, not that I was over looked. Just content and ready to go along with these wonderful, competent people:)
Thank you so much for this! Every panel member provided a different, but helpful insight that was incredibly affirming. I texted my daughter (who introduced me to the Enneagram) that I couldn't stop laughing and shouting "Yes!" throughout the entire presentation. Profoundly thankful to all of you.
The patterns are durable. It’s so easy to lull back into your patterns even when you are “awake”.
I'm new to Enneagram and embracing that I am a 9. I really only meant to watch a few minutes of this and then save the rest for later (which for a 9 may or may not have actually happened...lol) But I couldn't stop watching... it was so engaging and so insightful. I really enjoyed it a lot. Thanks to everyone who was a part of this!
Yes!!!
I'm a 9. And have a genetic disorder. I've always felt overlooked and looked down upon. I struggle with feeling like people treat me differently. I had a jod that discriminated against me, I asked coworkers if they thought I was being treated differently they all said yes. So this has added to my anxiety. It's not easy. I don't drive either and probably never will. So all of this adds to my 6 feelings.
Sending you love and blessings 💕.may you be loved
I resonated so deeply with this panel and learned a ton. Thank you for sharing!
If anyone is still out there looking at comments, I just found these videos. I had tested as Type 1, and Panel 1 really resonated with me, but then I watched 9, and that resonated just as strongly. I feel like I morph between both of them.
As a kid in a dysfunctional household, my brother was the comedic relief, but also possibly the scapegoat, and I was the peacekeeper by making sure everything was perfectly neat and orderly . We have both talked about our hypervigilance of scanning the entire room for things out of place, tension in the air, etc.
I'm feeling like maybe I'm overthinking how to decide which number I am, 😆 when what I should be doing is just observing myself more, learning more about both, and it will naturally become clear. 🤔 My inner critic, BTW can be really incessant and loud. I always thought it was my father's voice, what he would have been telling/yelling to me.
I cried when I learned it was in me, and again when panel 1 talked about it, other people struggling with this hounding in our heads! Such a relief in a way.
I'm trying to recognize it, comfort it, and distract it. Music helps. I started learning ukulele over the pandemic, and it's an amazing way to focus, to calm the voice .🎶
I am hsppy for you that you have started your enneagram journey. I struggled for a long time to figure out my type. For me it has helped to not think about it logically, but trust my intuition more. Like which insights was 'hitting me hardest'.
As a 9, and i can only speak for myself, i don't experiance a strong inner critical voice. Yes i can be critical and feel that there are things i should be doing, but it is more a sence of opinions coming from the outside.
I hope that helps 😊
Very recently, I have been encouraged to explore enneagrams. I relate very much to 9. This panel discussion has been so incredibly helpful for me. Thank you!
Nines, me, love Oneness and it doesn’t matter how they achieve, through spiritual practice, psychedelics, through being in love…we’re sensitive to lack of oneness. It’s truly the most spiritual of all the numbers. I wish I had more nines in my life.
Superb Type 9 Panel, thank you all so much for sharing. I will post to Facebook.
Thank you Beatrice for your work that you have put out into the world! Can a 9 with PTSD display a lot of characteristics of a SP4? My ieQ9 wavered back and forth between a 4 and 9, and I feel that I could be either, but I don't feel Iike I struggle with envy because I want everyone to be equal and feel accepted and loved. I do feel like I don't measure up and wish that I had been taught how to have healthier relationships rather than being raised "Lord of the Flies" style. I think I identify with the SX9 on the panel so much. I would love to learn more about how trauma can affect the enneagram. Omigosh I cried so hard when he quoted the Mister Rogers movie (which I totally loved by the way) "I am a mistake."
At 51:50 Bea asks a panelist "what's a strength (of being a nine)?" The next few moments are very powerful.
This is just speculation, but in regards to the man speaking to the sadness in the group who stated he is married to a 4: I wonder if he is more aware of sadness in groups he is in now later in life after being involved with a 4 who likely notices and speaks to this aspect of people/groups? Perhaps not, but I’ve noticed this tendency in myself as a 9. I was convinced I was a 4 for a while because I took on qualities of the 4 individual closest to me whiteout realizing it. However, it does make sense when Bea said all types feel a sense of powerlessness or feelings of deficiency and maybe that is the cause of his noticing of sadness for him along with being highly self-developed. Just food for thought.
Anger isn't bad. Anger tells us when an injustice is happening. Once you know that it makes sense why you're angry.
My husband is a nine... I will share with him what I learned from this.
"What makes you SADDEST in life? ... What can we do for a 9 to empathize more deeply?" ... I'm just gonna go out on a limb and guess that was one of my fellow 4s ;) lol
As a 9 I deeply appreciate my 4s ❤️
YES!! Good guess (a fellow 4).
Awww. ♥️
I am a 6. When I first found out about the enneagram a year ago I read about the different types and 9 was one I considered. I know now I am not. Watching all of these panels I can say that this one was by far the hardest to decipher what these people are really like. So much so that it almost frustrates me. 😂. I work with a young guy I believe to be a 9 and he is so easy going and generally gets work done but usually seems tired and when I ask a question I don’t know if he is telling me yes, no, maybe or just not answering. He like to reply with “ I feel like it is xyz...”. And I say, a yes, no, or I don’t know are the only possible answers to this question. Not I feel.
So irritating, yet I long so much to be able to relax like that.
@Ryan Bielemeier - Your comment made me chuckle & snort because I’m a 9 and my 10-yr old is a 6 and he gets totally frustrated with my answers whenever he asks me a question and is expecting me to state a strong opinion one way or another. It reminds me of Harry Truman famously asking “Give me a one-handed economist! All of my economists say, ‘on the one hand...on the other.’” 😁
9s are deeply rooted in common sense and have a hard time not holding grudges against lapses in common sense. 9s respond positively to demonstrations of intestinal fortitude. If you wan't to be able to motivate a 9 you have to be capable of demonstrating genuine intestinal fortitude.
If one is stuck in growth mode a 9 will react to them in a positively aggressive fashion. One who is disentigrating will be more likely to experience the disentigrating traits of the 9 unless that 9 is stuck in growth mode. We all mirror eachother unless stuck in growth mode. Any number stuck in growth mode will bring about positivity no matter what number they are relating to.
9's can be very deep people.
A friendly number 1 with 9 wing - Totally relating to you guys
Creeping on 9 content because I love 9’s IRL ❤☺️ I also love 7’s. As a 4w5 it’s like a 10,000 page Dostoevsky novel with a funeral dirge for background music in my head 🤣 plus I’m an SP. So I like to soak up the sunshine from these types 🌞 😂
As a nine I just LOVE being in a flow state, I don’t need to know what I want because my soul does and always guides me to it. I find the enneagram to be a bit off putting as if the nines “issues” are somehow wrong.
great presentation format... thanks
The self preservation has a strong 8 wing for sure, even though he says he relates to the 8 least. Self preservation 9’s usually have alot of grit in my experience, coming from an sp 9w8.
I cant wait to watch all the other ones :)
What an amazing resource! When will the videos for the other types be released?
All but one video (type 7) are live now! ruclips.net/p/PLeWY_tCA2qdBCbrJdGOZKhrJzdn_1pxQK
@@NewSchoolCommonweal thank you!
Wow, this 3 has definitely disintegrated to 9.
I was in resistance, accepting I may be a 9. I kept seeing my mom visually when I researched it, not myself. This was the place where I found my resistance bc I'm estranged from my mom. If nothing else, it does help me connect within and see too how I mimicked her behavior. Can you be more than one? I'm still unsettled bc I see myself in all of them. Some more than others.
9s are the one type that sees themselves in all of them. Healthy 9s are really different from unhealthy ones so I wouldn't worry about being the same type as your mom. The fact that you're estranged shows you set a boundary with your mom which is something I wouldn't expect most unhealthy 9s to do.
I'm pretty sure I'm a six but I remember as a kid, I'd meet some of my other classmates and I'd notice something missing. I remember noticing that there was nothing specific they wanted to do. I'm someone who likes to get their own way so I was taken back by this. They were usually physically larger people to. I remember thinking, "if I was this person, I'd be throwing my weight around more to get my way. Do they not know they clearly have tons of power?" I guess they didn't because they were a nine, probably.
Well if I had any doubts about which number I'm closest to i don't anymore. I do have alot of suppressed anger but im also good at finding a link to anyone. Im dating an 8 and I have to really push against emeshment. Im trying to break out of the false belief caring for myself is being selfish.
Every test I take, I get 9 and by a LONG shot - like 98-99%. But I have had depression, anxiety and ANGER for years and years. I keep hearing that 9's don't know they are angry or just aren't angry or some version as that. Me, nope! I feel like I'm always angry. Anyone else? Am I really not a 9 then?
Melissa Davis Have you looked into the possibility that you are a 9 but with every enneagram type, we have wings (the number on either side of you), and maybe you are operating out of your 8 wing? My daughter is a nine that can operate out of her 8 wing so she can have outbursts of anger.
9s are always angry! we just struggle to find out how to express it and have a full healthy relationship with it involving stages of discovery, acceptance, and release.
I identify very strongly with 9. I get angry fairly often too but I do get angry about 9 things. Having my routine messed up or feeling too put upon, and generally just having my peace disturbed. For me it usually feels like it is from intense built up frustration that has boiled over but then I will be angry about it for a long time. Probably because I never actually do anything about it but then if I do do something about it... things can get intense. Rarely though, and I mean rarely, I do get caught up in some true righteous anger that I actually feel kind of good about. I think that has only happened once or twice in my life. I imagine other people get that nice kind of anger a lot more. I also have some anxiety issues and I am sure I have had issues with depression but not diagnosed
Same here. Sounds like you have strong 8 wing! The 9w8 is one of the more rare subtypes I'm finding 🤔🦄
@@TurtleGold22 I relate with your comment. I'm a 9w8 and sometimes I will have a burst of anger that arises out of seemingly nowhere. I cannot stand hypocrisy or people who take advantage of others, and this is where my 8 wing truly shines. If you want to see a 9w8 finally use their voice, do something that stirs up one of their loved ones. They will be there front and center to call you out. No one messes with my loved ones, and I always shock people who barely know me when this occurs because the girl who is always observing is finally making her presence known. They cannot believe it, but the telling sign is when I suddenly realize that I had an outburst and I try to rectify it immediately by making everyone comfortable again. Lol. Sometimes by telling a joke, distracting them with another topic of conversation and then withdrawing back into observation, or by simply disappearing until I'm needed again.
I always hear the same about 9… o would like to know more than that 🙏🏼
9's know that Father's are just as vital to thee family unit as a Mother contrary to what everyone else is sayin, the world tells us by how it's worked and moulded the Father is one part of a Trinity with the Child and the Mother but people choose to stroke their own egos, laugh and ignore but Truth alway's knocks when it's being ignored.
how do i find out what kind of a type 9 i am? like with the sexual, social, etc. subtypes?
I found it very helpful to reflect on the situations when your feeling of not belonging or your 'nineness', if you will, comes out the most.
Sexuals have a sparkle in their eyes, they tend to soak you into a conversation like a dry sponge. That's the merging the panel spoke about. Me as a social nine, I allways check on how everybody is doing and it's nearly impossible for me - if I'm in a group of people to have a sense of self. I'm like a flowy ghost above the group. Social nines are distracted maybe the easiest, I'd say. But the good side is they are also the most outgoing and expressive and extrovert. It's a little hard to spot them. Get confused with sevens often.
The selv-preservation nines are like a rock. If they sit, they sit. They worry about if everybody is comfy, if It's warm enough of if there will be enough food at the party. They are the earthy and calmest.
I hope this helps. I'm relatively new to the eneagram but I know a bunch of nines in all different shapes.
Best of Luck!
MISSchaosMELTS thank you that really helps to clarify! i’m gonna do more research but i’m pretty sure i’m a social nine, but maybe sexual.
@@vees_reflections you're very wellcome!
Take your time and wellcome on board! :-)
@@MISSchaosMELTS Thank you for clarity👁
At 1.10:35. The 8 started talking about his wife. My first that was, this dude sucks he is not supporting his wife. But then I remembered, he’s and 8, they always come off that way initially, but often times there is a soft and caring person under that hard prickly shell
For sure, I married a 8… a marshmallow wrapped in barbed wire.
@@MrFireman164 you are a fireman too?
@@blakekwamin7400 yes 👍
@@MrFireman164 me too
Infj and enneagram 9 is compatible?
INFJ,enneagram 9w1
Yeah
Really great
If anyone is still here... of the 9w1 out there, what type are you in a relationship with?
Sometimes a 7 seems a 9, a 5 seems a 9, and so on. Identification is everywhere, also, in Enneagram.
I’m a nine and after some major healing I get angry! And I let it out as responsibly as I can. Man it feels sooooo delicious like candy. 🍫
Type determine by what they focus on.
Demonizing 8s seems like a pattern.
So true! I think a lotoff 9's has a wrong image off what 8's are like. They have a lot to bring, and i think 8's and 9's have a lot to learn from each other
I'm a 9 and I think the problem is the 8 energy can be very overwhelming for 9s.
For me with ex friend 8 he was conquering and owning.
Funny about right action. Who says what's right or not?
huh... as a nine listening to this, i feel like a lot of the statements in the second half were quite ego driven and idealizing of the type nine. :/
With being a 9, that's a feeling that would be somewhat expected given what a 9's fixations/attachments are. It sounds off when it hits the ear because the 9 thinks of themselves as nobody special; that they're being/getting oversold regarding their perceived value of self.
I love this panel and seeing how different the approache is between the different subtypes.
I can't help noticing, that the woman in the middle has a very different energy that all the other 9's. I know it is not my place to categorise and type other people, but her vibe doen't speak 9 to me. Am i the only one thinking this? Her movements are very agitated and less calm. off cource this could be for a number of different reasons. I am just curious.
@@jadey2020 That makes a lot of sence. I think it was the nervousness i was picking up on, and couldn't place it in context with the 9.
To me her energy also seems very scattered, which is another classic 9 tendency. Telling a story, getting on a tangent, forgetting what you were talking about in the first place, and eventually trailing off into an underwhelming conclusion that doesn't actually wrap anything up.
Saying this as someone with a lot of 9 energy myself. This panel is so useful!
Definitely anxiety there. She struggled with her words initially and mentioned 5th chakra. Her throat chakra was feeling constricted hence the coughs.
Look into tritypes, I’m a 9,6,4 tritype and I work with a 9,7,2 tritype, we are similar but yet very different, he is way more laid back and I am more of a worrier bouncing between 9&6.
What is the social 9? Sexual 9?
'not checking it out with other people' !
The facilitator had a habit of interrupting the 9's; wish people knew how painful that is for a 9 trying to share their experience and opinions.
All I can see is how physically uncomfortable the lady sitting smack dab in the middle is 😂 did they make those chairs closer on purpose??
well, this made me realize im not a 9 gut
I'm a 9, and I thought these people were rather strange. 😂
This was pretty interesting lol
Awww, don’t talk over a 9!
I am a nine. Thank you. This panel has helped me take a stand not to get vaccinated. Thanks again.
Now I know I'm not a 9 lol.
Lady in the middle in the navy shirt is not a 9- she is a 6! Bet!!! Her energy is totally different.
I’m a 9w1 but tritype as a 9,6,4 so I am very kind and laid back unless I’m anxious then I go hard to 6.
She sort of scares me. And she is so restless.
y'all get the feeling that dr chestnut is a 9? lol
8:12
12:43
13:38
Dad?