Beatrice your "Complete Enneagram" book is by far the best, and most important Enneagram book out there. Without you Naranjo's subtypes would never have been disseminated the way it did. I especially love your Odyssey example. Thanks.
If you betray me that is it for me as an Eight. All forms of insincerity like lying, secretiveness, fondness will effect my relationship with a person. It is what makes me angry it is not necessarily a deal breaker like betrayal but it effects the nterrgrity of the relationship. Using my vulnerability against me overtime is a dealbreaker too. My mother would do that. By the time I was a teenager I stopped sharing my vulnerability with her. I don’t mind people disagreeing with me. On the contrary. I like an honest exchange of ideas. It was one of the hardest thing found of moving from the Netherlands to the Deep South, there was no directness in the Deep South. There is one other behavior I have a really hard time with and that is when people use me as their servant.
Thanks for this episode. I was wondering about Type 8 and self-criticism. I've noticed that they can also be very hard on themselves and can feel guilty?
I'm a social 9, and for me the biggest one is being overlooked or excluded from a group. Last year, some out-of-town friends came to my city to visit some mutual friends of ours (who are very close friends of mine) and spend a week at the cottage. Not only was I not invited, I wasn't even TOLD that they'd be in town. They only thought to tell me the morning of their flight even though they'd all known about the trip for months and knew I'd be interested. It utterly destroyed me. Please, please, please, if you have a type 9 friend, don't do this to them! (Note: I'm not saying I should have been included. There were reasons I wasn't. But even a quick conversation along the lines of "we would have liked to invite you, but couldn't because X, Y, Z" would have gone a long way.)
I think Ones actually are much more inclined to follow their sense of principles rather than rules. As a One, I could care less about following rules but do care deeply about following integrity. It can lean toward sterotyping to assume we all have the same focus for following principles, such as the environment or nature. I love cities and film and fashion, not really a nature-focused gal. Intriguing session and so valuable to explore these areas. Thank you!
19:30- for fours- when someone accuses us of not being authentic, when we're sinking below the poverty line due to our clinging to the death-raft of authenticity, and we still get accused of taking shortcuts. Like when I got accused by an Eight of dating him for his money, I felt so obliterated; I have been left behind economically BECAUSE I care more about substance and connection than money. I almost broke up with him because of that accusation alone. Or when a type 8 boss accused me of doing something dishonest, you can't get much lower than that- I'm at the bottom of your organization BECAUSE I'm honest. Or when I told a parent that I left our religion because my prayers weren't being answered, and the parent said, "Maybe you didn't pray hard enough", like I wasn't being authentic enough in my relationship with God. Painful that I could be accused of being inauthentic, when I came to that conclusion BECAUSE of my authentic suffering, and this person decided I was faking it the whole time, and needed to continue suffering. Worst pain of my life to feel so unseen.
I am a 4 with a 5 wing and you absolutely hit the nail on the head! Most helpful! I love your Enneagram interpretations and Bridget your book is the absolutely best work on the Enneagram. Thank you so much.
thnx for this episode. though I'm still not sure wether I'am a 5 or a 4 - I could identify sooo much w/ what Uranio says about detesting gossip. It's almost the same for me. I can't stand it AT ALL! And it really evokes even feeling of disgust w/in me! ;-))
I think I am a 1, but I relate to the 8 trigger. Actually I commented on another video of yours yesterday that correcting people in front of an audience is pretty disrespectful and something I would never do. It would really piss me off.
I think it sounded as if it was a description of what types don't like and they try to avoid, in general, as part of their type. But not what they don't forgive.
As an 8 I find telling me what to do, what to say, how to be…….really tells me they don’t like the authentic me. i will exclude them from my life.Betrayal is the worst.
I do not feel as a one you identified well Enneagram 1, Beatrice. Saying we care for the environment is incredibly narrow, and saying we care about social order is incredibly broad. There is nothing there at the end that I could relate to. I completely agree with Uranio. Lack of commitment from people, lack of congruence, people not finishing things, criticism. I identified with them very well. I would add, people who do not work on improving the people in my intimate circle is very hard for me.
Beatrice, you could do so much more about your haircut :-) ment not as a critique. you're wonderful like that TOO! Just would make a little bit even more of you!
Yes, she could if she wanted to or felt like it mattered at the moment. However, it is hard to not notice that not only is she smart and well spoken but she is quite beautiful in a natural way that I really appreciate as a type 4. Maybe later she will focus more on her hair if she decides to but I was thinking that now she might be so into the topic and her area of study that all her attention is on that at the moment. I also like her voice, it calms and reassures me.
I love how tactful Beatrice is. I notice it so clearly as a type 4.
Beatrice your "Complete Enneagram" book is by far the best, and most important Enneagram book out there.
Without you Naranjo's subtypes would never have been disseminated the way it did.
I especially love your Odyssey example.
Thanks.
2:29 - 8 enneagram
35:30- agreed, fours should be #2. We wrap ourselves in shame and press it upon ourselves.
If you betray me that is it for me as an Eight. All forms of insincerity like lying, secretiveness, fondness will effect my relationship with a person. It is what makes me angry it is not necessarily a deal breaker like betrayal but it effects the nterrgrity of the relationship. Using my vulnerability against me overtime is a dealbreaker too. My mother would do that. By the time I was a teenager I stopped sharing my vulnerability with her. I don’t mind people disagreeing with me. On the contrary. I like an honest exchange of ideas. It was one of the hardest thing found of moving from the Netherlands to the Deep South, there was no directness in the Deep South. There is one other behavior I have a really hard time with and that is when people use me as their servant.
Thanks for this episode. I was wondering about Type 8 and self-criticism. I've noticed that they can also be very hard on themselves and can feel guilty?
I'm a social 9, and for me the biggest one is being overlooked or excluded from a group. Last year, some out-of-town friends came to my city to visit some mutual friends of ours (who are very close friends of mine) and spend a week at the cottage. Not only was I not invited, I wasn't even TOLD that they'd be in town. They only thought to tell me the morning of their flight even though they'd all known about the trip for months and knew I'd be interested. It utterly destroyed me. Please, please, please, if you have a type 9 friend, don't do this to them! (Note: I'm not saying I should have been included. There were reasons I wasn't. But even a quick conversation along the lines of "we would have liked to invite you, but couldn't because X, Y, Z" would have gone a long way.)
I think Ones actually are much more inclined to follow their sense of principles rather than rules. As a One, I could care less about following rules but do care deeply about following integrity. It can lean toward sterotyping to assume we all have the same focus for following principles, such as the environment or nature. I love cities and film and fashion, not really a nature-focused gal. Intriguing session and so valuable to explore these areas. Thank you!
19:30- for fours- when someone accuses us of not being authentic, when we're sinking below the poverty line due to our clinging to the death-raft of authenticity, and we still get accused of taking shortcuts. Like when I got accused by an Eight of dating him for his money, I felt so obliterated; I have been left behind economically BECAUSE I care more about substance and connection than money. I almost broke up with him because of that accusation alone. Or when a type 8 boss accused me of doing something dishonest, you can't get much lower than that- I'm at the bottom of your organization BECAUSE I'm honest. Or when I told a parent that I left our religion because my prayers weren't being answered, and the parent said, "Maybe you didn't pray hard enough", like I wasn't being authentic enough in my relationship with God. Painful that I could be accused of being inauthentic, when I came to that conclusion BECAUSE of my authentic suffering, and this person decided I was faking it the whole time, and needed to continue suffering. Worst pain of my life to feel so unseen.
I am a 4 with a 5 wing and you absolutely hit the nail on the head! Most helpful! I love your Enneagram interpretations and Bridget your book is the absolutely best work on the Enneagram. Thank you so much.
I appreciate your work! Thank you!
thnx for this episode. though I'm still not sure wether I'am a 5 or a 4 - I could identify sooo much w/ what Uranio says about detesting gossip. It's almost the same for me. I can't stand it AT ALL! And it really evokes even feeling of disgust w/in me! ;-))
16:42 - enneagram 3
12:09 - enneagram 2
As a 5w6, I do not like surprises, bad or good.
25:48 six
I think I am a 1, but I relate to the 8 trigger. Actually I commented on another video of yours yesterday that correcting people in front of an audience is pretty disrespectful and something I would never do. It would really piss me off.
6:59 - 1 enneagram
oh my gosh im so happy they started with 8s XD
I think it sounded as if it was a description of what types don't like and they try to avoid, in general, as part of their type. But not what they don't forgive.
As an 8 I find telling me what to do, what to say, how to be…….really tells me they don’t like the authentic me. i will exclude them from my life.Betrayal is the worst.
21:09- fives
I do not feel as a one you identified well Enneagram 1, Beatrice. Saying we care for the environment is incredibly narrow, and saying we care about social order is incredibly broad. There is nothing there at the end that I could relate to. I completely agree with Uranio. Lack of commitment from people, lack of congruence, people not finishing things, criticism. I identified with them very well. I would add, people who do not work on improving the people in my intimate circle is very hard for me.
I meant to say people who do not improve themselves in my intimate close group, that is very hard for me.Especially if it affects the relationship.
Did I miss it, don't recall talk about 7s triggers?
I heard her say its one small example, and for ones who care about environment. Not that all ones care about it
Thank you for modeling type 1 so beautifully with your comment.
❤🙏
Beatrice, you could do so much more about your haircut :-) ment not as a critique. you're wonderful like that TOO! Just would make a little bit even more of you!
Yes, she could if she wanted to or felt like it mattered at the moment. However, it is hard to not notice that not only is she smart and well spoken but she is quite beautiful in a natural way that I really appreciate as a type 4. Maybe later she will focus more on her hair if she decides to but I was thinking that now she might be so into the topic and her area of study that all her attention is on that at the moment. I also like her voice, it calms and reassures me.
All this important info and you’re focused on her hair? Wow 😂
Fours love aesthetics so this perhaps explains the hair comments. I am a four and love looking at how people express themselves. Forgive the fours!
4:22 - 9 enneagram