THE ULTIMATE LIFEFORM | Evolution

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  • Опубликовано: 16 окт 2018
  • I HAVE EVOLVED FAR BEYOND YOUR PETTY HUMAN NEEDS!!
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  • ИгрыИгры

Комментарии • 10 тыс.

  • @damonvasquez8337
    @damonvasquez8337 5 лет назад +7793

    I tried to make a human. They just snapped their necks and used them as grappling hooks and evolved from there...

  • @dailypositivity6659
    @dailypositivity6659 4 года назад +5380

    I'd never thought I'd hear a sex lesson of spiders explained so wrong and so vivid

  • @piperroe243
    @piperroe243 3 года назад +3570

    In this episode, Mark forgets that creatures move best when they have *knees*

    • @MintyMan_
      @MintyMan_ 2 года назад +310

      Who needs knees when you have the friends you made along the way?

    • @mitoroskokoros589
      @mitoroskokoros589 2 года назад +68

      @@MintyMan_ Mark's creations

    • @blurry200
      @blurry200 2 года назад +19

      @@mitoroskokoros589 life’s creations

    • @joshuatremper5026
      @joshuatremper5026 2 года назад +21

      He's god. So he created us with this game

    • @toastytea6253
      @toastytea6253 2 года назад

      Today on markiplier, we learned that spiders shoot babies from that privates like a shotgun

  • @finnfarrell8069
    @finnfarrell8069 3 года назад +410

    Ironically he made chica into a massive meaty spring that was perfect for tumbling down the stairs

  • @lordfarquuad207
    @lordfarquuad207 5 лет назад +10011

    If Mark was god, we all would be equally blessed and terrified for our lives. *Especially when he says he has an idea.*

    • @mrsmarlowe
      @mrsmarlowe 5 лет назад +298

      oh god
      Oh god
      OH GOD
      *OH GOD*
      *OOOOOOHHHHHHHHH GGGGGGGGGGGGGGOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODDDDDDDDDDD*
      *mark has a idea*

    • @youdontknowme8129
      @youdontknowme8129 4 года назад +126

      Soooooo the same as religion now.

    • @animeedits6187
      @animeedits6187 4 года назад +67

      HE IS GOD

    • @firebreaker9325
      @firebreaker9325 4 года назад +109

      @@mrsmarlowe if mark was leader and he said he had an idea: I'm leaving planet earth

    • @noleary9924
      @noleary9924 4 года назад +45

      he mde pretty succesfull ´humans´ tho

  • @MT168AFC
    @MT168AFC 3 года назад +4371

    I love how he says "i dont think spiders lay eggs" and then 1 year later... a spider lays eggs in his vr headset before recording fnaf vr

  • @harleyspeedthrust4013
    @harleyspeedthrust4013 2 года назад +152

    At 17:00 they're literally learning how to exploit a glitch in the game for their own purposes. That's pretty sick when you think about it, they're escaping the matrix

  • @ardenlyn0817
    @ardenlyn0817 3 года назад +253

    “It’s Dark Chica.”
    Looks like Dark forgot to feed her again. Gotta set up a feeding schedule, dude!

  • @lizacooperider9545
    @lizacooperider9545 5 лет назад +1658

    "This is a family friendly channel!"
    "Guys it's Cocktober"

    • @SoulSif
      @SoulSif 4 года назад +7

      *Yes.*

    • @thedemoninyourcloset.
      @thedemoninyourcloset. 4 года назад +48

      *Proceeds to give spider sex-ed class*

    • @kiwichan456
      @kiwichan456 4 года назад +8

      I mean it *IS* right after No Nut November.

    • @teresakelley4057
      @teresakelley4057 4 года назад +4

      I was the 666th like now it really is cocktober

    • @ahorse7248
      @ahorse7248 4 года назад +3

      @@teresakelley4057 well I was the 667th like

  • @thesun7563
    @thesun7563 4 года назад +1360

    “This is a FAMILY friendly channel” Goes to talk about sex standing up,

    • @_username
      @_username 3 года назад +20

      since when this become a family friendly channel ;D

    • @joogiewatkins1519
      @joogiewatkins1519 3 года назад +19

      @Joshua Pryor And how spider sex "works"

    • @iamerror6546
      @iamerror6546 3 года назад +14

      this is how you make a family, okay?

    • @Grandmas567
      @Grandmas567 3 года назад +6

      and how the mama and papa spider going at it xD

    • @tweenytwinkies
      @tweenytwinkies 2 года назад

      Well thats how you make a family in the first place isnt it? So nothing truly is innocent

  • @JugularJohn
    @JugularJohn 3 года назад +323

    Shadow; IM THE ULTIMATE LIFEFORM
    Kars: NO. IM THE ULTIMATE LIFEFORM
    ???: amateurs
    Kars and Shadow: WHAT WAS THAT, PUNK?!
    Markiplier: *A M A T U R S*

    • @DR_WALLSTREET
      @DR_WALLSTREET 3 года назад +9

      IS THAT A JOJO REFERENCE?

    • @purplegirlsrandomnesschann2284
      @purplegirlsrandomnesschann2284 3 года назад +9

      Was that the bite of 87??

    • @DragoMations
      @DragoMations 2 года назад +4

      amaturs

    • @nonamegaming5298
      @nonamegaming5298 2 года назад +1

      NO WAY!!!!!!!! IS THAT A MOTHER FUCKING JOJO REFERENCE? JOJO IS THE BEST FUCKING ANIME! JOSUKE IS SO BADASS! ORA ORAORA ORAORA ORAORA ORAORA ORAORA ORAORA ORAORA ORAORA ORAORA ORAORA ORAORA ORAORA ORAORA ORAORA ORAORA ORAORA ORAORA ORAORA ORAORA ORAORA ORAORA ORAORA ORAORA ORAORA ORAORA ORA MUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDA YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO YO ANGELO OH YOU’RE APPROACHING ME BUT IT WAS ME DIO

    • @JugularJohn
      @JugularJohn 2 года назад +1

      @@nonamegaming5298 🚪 here’s the door. Now leave

  • @FlashDrive356
    @FlashDrive356 2 года назад +35

    6:42 that what a good bowl of Mac and cheese sounds like

  • @Endilia
    @Endilia 5 лет назад +3624

    "Wait I got an idea"
    The last words you want to hear Mark say

    • @Alpha-cr7pu
      @Alpha-cr7pu 5 лет назад +47

      Endilia I know, when I heard him say that I was just like “Mark, No, Please, You’re Gonna Kill Us, DON’T DO IT!!!”

    • @nyxblackwood9045
      @nyxblackwood9045 5 лет назад +5

      I saw him say that as I read your comment. XD

    • @DemonBoy-zs5hk
      @DemonBoy-zs5hk 5 лет назад +1

      Ikr

    • @mothboy68
      @mothboy68 4 года назад +2

      Mark’s equivalent to “Hold my beer”

    • @emperorcat5468
      @emperorcat5468 4 года назад

      ok

  • @movedtocupowarriors4205
    @movedtocupowarriors4205 3 года назад +2043

    "Oh he's doing leg raises-" **Flings out of existence** "Where did you go?"

  • @mackers4897
    @mackers4897 Год назад +35

    4:30 He actually looks like a father just watching his kids with a beer, "Where did you go?" 😆

    • @dawnwolf6755
      @dawnwolf6755 Год назад

      I was thinking that through the entire video lmfao

    • @hush3956
      @hush3956 4 месяца назад

      Cigarette mums

  • @diabeetustype6884
    @diabeetustype6884 3 года назад +22

    What if you left open a tab with this running for years and then you come back to the tab and find that they have become so efficient at running that they are moving at light-speed

  • @vel.x9751
    @vel.x9751 5 лет назад +2936

    Darkiplier:Come here girl
    Dark chica: *has glitchy seizure on the ground*

    • @temarinara77
      @temarinara77 5 лет назад +104

      Dark’s just watching his dog Spaz out

    • @samwilliams9133
      @samwilliams9133 4 года назад +47

      Darktail: (silently watching through a window that was for some reason placed near a mirror) =)

    • @dusk912
      @dusk912 4 года назад +29

      I don’t know why I laughed so hard at this

    • @anonymooselsb2968
      @anonymooselsb2968 4 года назад +12

      666 like oh dear

    • @ScuttleBugReal
      @ScuttleBugReal 4 года назад +42

      hmmm...
      I have a name for dark chica!
      Glitcha!

  • @Playopedia
    @Playopedia 3 года назад +1355

    How my biology teacher tells me how life evolves: **breakdancing seizure dog**

    • @za0n282
      @za0n282 3 года назад +2

      Where do I find this game?

    • @Playopedia
      @Playopedia 3 года назад +4

      @@za0n282 I don't know

    • @mattiescott1615
      @mattiescott1615 3 года назад +2

      @@za0n282 check desc lol

    • @mattiescott1615
      @mattiescott1615 3 года назад +1

      @@za0n282 oh it’s called evolution and is a mobile game but for com0ut4r I wouldn’t know

    • @za0n282
      @za0n282 3 года назад

      @@mattiescott1615 the video description? I have looked there, and I cant seem to find it.

  • @Avogadr0
    @Avogadr0 3 года назад +33

    The Ultimate Life-from uses all the capabilities of the others. But this needs more power. We need a super Aja.

  • @carterdirksen646
    @carterdirksen646 3 года назад +22

    When he was trying to get them to climb I imagined 100’s of dogs just falling down stairs

  • @tomcosta3849
    @tomcosta3849 5 лет назад +1154

    “Spiders give birth like a shotgun blast into the nearest face.”
    -Mark Fischbach 2018

    • @sunnyglowvt
      @sunnyglowvt 5 лет назад +10

      Tom Costa Education from Markiplier is the best.

    • @old_pork
      @old_pork 5 лет назад +26

      I think that's what he meant when he said "Bizarre versions of porn"

    • @xeneth531
      @xeneth531 5 лет назад +5

      That’s Mark’s name?

    • @yert5679
      @yert5679 5 лет назад +4

      Aiden D mark edward fischbach

    • @killerkirby366
      @killerkirby366 4 года назад

      Svenger Mc. Spazzy yeah it's a i tire classification of subspecies terhes multiple of them

  • @sleepy_clover7361
    @sleepy_clover7361 4 года назад +798

    "I'm pretty sure when a daddy spider- a *d a d d y s p i d e r* -"

    • @Microwave2410
      @Microwave2410 3 года назад +30

      F A T H E R A R A C H N I D

    • @elanrg
      @elanrg 3 года назад +12

      @@Microwave2410 A N I M A L O F T H E A R A C N I D F A M I L L Y W I T H A F A T H E R L Y R O L E

    • @elanrg
      @elanrg 3 года назад

      @Fnafronpa and The tattletail craft daddy long legs is in the huntsman family

    • @zer0rebel4
      @zer0rebel4 3 года назад

      @@elanrg and? Cellar spiders are a part of the Arachnida class. Theyre technically not fully spiders, but theyre arachnids

    • @johnrybinski6237
      @johnrybinski6237 3 года назад

      @@zer0rebel4 by that logic so are Scorpions

  • @ariesthapa2932
    @ariesthapa2932 2 года назад +8

    4:30
    This sounds like he’s actually in a irl place talking to people

  • @dominicwhite8749
    @dominicwhite8749 3 года назад +28

    mark: THE ULTIMATE LIFEFORM.
    me: is that a JOJO REFERENCE?!!??!!!?!!!?

  • @spencer8204
    @spencer8204 3 года назад +1270

    I like how he just sits back in his chair all comfy-like, sipping on his drink as he watches his hellish children learn to evolve

    • @myak5754
      @myak5754 2 года назад +17

      That's Mark for ya

  • @perfectly-finefinerson9437
    @perfectly-finefinerson9437 4 года назад +1735

    "I'm the Ultimate Lifeform."
    No wonder why Kars eventually stopped thinking.

  • @pandasplayhouse9143
    @pandasplayhouse9143 3 года назад +19

    "This is a family friendly channel!"
    About ten minutes later: *proceeds to explain the birds and the bees but in spider form*

  • @morosexualidiot
    @morosexualidiot Год назад +5

    marks speech on cocktober is the funniest thing ever

  • @tameronica
    @tameronica 4 года назад +1763

    “The Ultimate Life form.”
    **Angry Kars noises**

  • @johncarter1739
    @johncarter1739 4 года назад +1306

    Mark: ...I'm not crazy! Everyone knows this. Everyone knows..."
    *Mean while*
    The spiders: *synchronized seizure*

  • @ThatOneFry2005
    @ThatOneFry2005 3 года назад +7

    The fact that Mark made the damn
    *sound effect*
    It was something I didn’t know would exist, and I didn’t need, and had the same horrific effect and experience as Furry Squad

  • @reznorstuckrath4191
    @reznorstuckrath4191 6 месяцев назад +4

    Mark describing how baby spiders are made is god damn hilarious.

  • @lymphaticjeopardy
    @lymphaticjeopardy 3 года назад +719

    "I like being stable dad."
    I've never been so disturbed by a seemingly innocuous phrase in my whole life

    • @naride1093
      @naride1093 3 года назад +5

      read as Stable Dad at first

  • @ashwar9800
    @ashwar9800 5 лет назад +477

    11:20 I just see a bunch of graceful backflipping cows

    • @inkreydible
      @inkreydible 5 лет назад +8

      graceful

    • @Crazy-eu1wm
      @Crazy-eu1wm 5 лет назад +13

      Yep, it is the most beautiful sight ever.

    • @sodagaming8676
      @sodagaming8676 4 года назад +15

      I see a bunch of cows having their necks snapped over and over as they are tumbling down

    • @inkreydible
      @inkreydible 4 года назад +9

      @@sodagaming8676 still graceful :P

    • @lorrainewinsor7980
      @lorrainewinsor7980 4 года назад +1

      Well they can jump too

  • @kafi9556
    @kafi9556 2 года назад +6

    Did no one notice at 15:43 that there was a dog that launched itself into the stratosphere as fast as light?

  • @patrickhoffman2806
    @patrickhoffman2806 2 года назад +4

    Mark: “it’s best to make things as simply as possible”
    Also mark: try’s to create a human

  • @katsukibakugan9490
    @katsukibakugan9490 5 лет назад +1806

    I tried making a cat.
    I broke the game.
    Cats are apparently perfect lifeforms.

    • @hienduongvan8454
      @hienduongvan8454 5 лет назад +67

      therefore, Kars = cat

    • @Official_NotNeo
      @Official_NotNeo 5 лет назад +14

      You right

    • @5AMUR-41
      @5AMUR-41 5 лет назад +28

      Shaggy is the perfect lifeform to be correct...

    • @Crazy-qi1gw
      @Crazy-qi1gw 5 лет назад +24

      @@5AMUR-41 You've ruined the joke.

    • @5AMUR-41
      @5AMUR-41 5 лет назад +14

      @@Crazy-qi1gw, good

  • @michaelhussey717
    @michaelhussey717 5 лет назад +3526

    Small youtubers: "says a single bad word"
    RUclips: Demonatized and age restricted.
    Markiplier: "talks about sex and penises and vagina's"
    RUclips: You're all good bro 👍

    • @devinward461
      @devinward461 5 лет назад +130

      Who do you think gets yt more ad money

    • @catchamp1880
      @catchamp1880 5 лет назад +279

      PewDiePie: says heck
      *D E M O N I T I Z E D*

    • @jader2357
      @jader2357 5 лет назад +68

      @@catchamp1880 exactly.... Jack also seems to have the same luxury as Mark though.....

    • @ironicugandan5826
      @ironicugandan5826 5 лет назад +127

      Actually the game grumps did something interesting. Dan said fuck almost asap on a episode and Arin said "You can't swear in the first 10 seconds of a video! Your gonna get us demonatized" or something to that extent.

    • @alyssa7867
      @alyssa7867 5 лет назад +44

      Mark is being educational.

  • @daniellewilson8527
    @daniellewilson8527 2 года назад +4

    25:54 Mark makes MusicMan

  • @xiao7304
    @xiao7304 3 года назад +4

    Dog 1: how do we get down the stairs?
    Dog 2: hmm.....I have an idea 11:12

  • @Suophu
    @Suophu 5 лет назад +701

    "It's like just watching your children just flop around in a yard"
    Hang on, I don't think that's how you do it but ok

    • @alyssasalmon4883
      @alyssasalmon4883 4 года назад +21

      that's totally what happens, my children love doing it after staring at RGB strobe lights!

    • @okdean7953
      @okdean7953 4 года назад +11

      My kid has gills and they do the same

    • @ethanlocke3604
      @ethanlocke3604 4 года назад +12

      There’s nothing wrong with a nice yard flopping every now and again

    • @red_pixel_apple58
      @red_pixel_apple58 4 года назад

      I wanna like but I can't, I'm sorry

    • @mdsullivan100
      @mdsullivan100 4 года назад +1

      seizures are funny unless you have had one Which i have

  • @HexIsme
    @HexIsme 5 лет назад +523

    Mark may not drink alcohol any more but he does a damn good impression of being drunk.

    • @Kixal07
      @Kixal07 5 лет назад +4

      Lol

    • @D-1337
      @D-1337 5 лет назад +3

      IKR

    • @SlothinAintEasy
      @SlothinAintEasy 5 лет назад +18

      Mark's drunk on life.

    • @Vellicya
      @Vellicya 5 лет назад +4

      the truth makes me cant stop laughing

    • @dawnwolf6755
      @dawnwolf6755 Год назад

      Oh I forgot he can't drink. I legitimately thought he had a beer in his hand the entire time.

  • @Hasde_dfs
    @Hasde_dfs 2 года назад +5

    5:54 the best of the last generation 🤣🤣

  • @austinclark3495
    @austinclark3495 3 года назад +3

    27:10 attack on titan theme drowns out all else.

    • @jakioki
      @jakioki 2 года назад

      I searched for this comment

  • @magpakilos
    @magpakilos 5 лет назад +777

    Mark: "I have an idea!"
    Me: oh no
    My mom: oh no
    World: oh no

  • @chasenelson9660
    @chasenelson9660 4 года назад +553

    “This is a Family friendly channel”
    Proceeds to tell how the spider life cycle works

    • @ignacioperalta6784
      @ignacioperalta6784 4 года назад +15

      the real one doesnt get any better...

    • @messyalien5164
      @messyalien5164 3 года назад +12

      Fun Fact: spiders feel pain and their skeletons are on the outside of their bodies...

    • @smirkfanta5535
      @smirkfanta5535 3 года назад +7

      @@messyalien5164 yes that's called an exoskeleton

    • @messyalien5164
      @messyalien5164 3 года назад +3

      @@smirkfanta5535 yeah, thanks for telling me something that I just explained. They are also vulnerable to predators when they shed there exoskeleton until it hardens
      But thanks for saying that. forgot to say what it was called

    • @galladegamerletsplays
      @galladegamerletsplays 3 года назад

      very correctly

  • @narratorfox6646
    @narratorfox6646 3 года назад +7

    Chica relationship with mark reminds me of the dog relationship with her dad from Fullmetal Alchemist
    Edit: I am not talking about the real life Chica

    • @rogue6827
      @rogue6827 3 года назад

      the memories you just brought back are killing me

  • @ManicMama.
    @ManicMama. 2 года назад +3

    ‘It’s like putting your kids outside for a while, watching them flop around until they learn to walk’ yup that’s exactly how i taught my 3 kids to walk lol

  • @braxtonsambrano5241
    @braxtonsambrano5241 4 года назад +537

    Life form: *is triangle*
    Mark: “this is LIFE!”

    • @Firedragon-li5nb
      @Firedragon-li5nb 4 года назад +2

      noice = yuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuup

    • @pein4332
      @pein4332 3 года назад

      _Illuminati confirmed_

    • @dudemp4
      @dudemp4 2 года назад

      ITS AN *A*

  • @ashthetrash6457
    @ashthetrash6457 5 лет назад +713

    “Chica and her ill-begotten spawn” is probably the best phrase I’ve ever heard

  • @PiydTH
    @PiydTH 3 года назад +4

    *Eventually,*
    *Mark Has Stopped Thinking*

  • @martinfilms1641
    @martinfilms1641 Месяц назад +1

    This is by far the most explicit Markiplier video I have watched.

  • @icemagiciangh3268
    @icemagiciangh3268 5 лет назад +433

    “They’re fcking. Come on guys this is a *family channel.”*
    You um, you sure, Mark?

    • @skyblaze7160
      @skyblaze7160 5 лет назад +32

      Mark: "This is a family channel"
      *Literally a few minutes later*
      Mark: "The daddy spider's penis gets erect-"

    • @galactisgd431
      @galactisgd431 5 лет назад +2

      Gallifreyan_Hunter: (memes)
      me: C H I N A

    • @deannawheeler2365
      @deannawheeler2365 5 лет назад +2

      not really, moving away from "family" content.

    • @willowdrakon
      @willowdrakon 5 лет назад +2

      Deep space waifu was the most family friendly one so far

    • @guidojacobs2002
      @guidojacobs2002 5 лет назад +6

      About 69% sure it's family friendly.

  • @DavrenHelsmere
    @DavrenHelsmere 4 года назад +644

    Don't feel the bad for the dog in the climbing part. That's not Chica, that's CH-1C-α, a robot design after her. She doesn't feel pain and is always happy.
    At least, those who she let's live think that.

    • @userofusername4981
      @userofusername4981 4 года назад +4

      What was that last sentence?

    • @nopebutdope5963
      @nopebutdope5963 4 года назад +15

      user of username it was a warning ⚠️ DÆRK ÇHÏKÆ ÏŠ ÇØMÏÑG

    • @dominique2911
      @dominique2911 4 года назад +9

      I'm sure she and X Æ A-12 would be good friends if they met

    • @pebbles3609
      @pebbles3609 4 года назад +3

      @@dominique2911 yeah they definitely would

    • @carbon1642
      @carbon1642 3 года назад +1

      the typo at the end where you added an apostrophe to "lets" is so bothersome.
      it's those tiny little mistakes that bother me the most.

  • @christopherplaysviolin3082
    @christopherplaysviolin3082 2 года назад +2

    The look of pure joy that turned into disgust in the blink of an eye when he noticed what the human like creatures were doing on the floor

  • @garrysucks4190
    @garrysucks4190 6 месяцев назад +2

    The true ultimate life form consists of four joints, two bones, and a muscle (the key is to not connect the two bones with one joint).
    Prepare to watch those bizarre creatures fly like no tomorrow.

  • @conjureslade7149
    @conjureslade7149 5 лет назад +223

    When a mommy Dracula and a daddy Dracula love eachother very much, they do the monster mash.

    • @SpaceCadetSec
      @SpaceCadetSec 5 лет назад +16

      And oh my, it was a very good bash

    • @epsilonthedragon1249
      @epsilonthedragon1249 5 лет назад +13

      It went on in a flash.

    • @coreythepeanut
      @coreythepeanut 5 лет назад +2

      Oh, It was a mash

    • @Godzilla691138MW3
      @Godzilla691138MW3 5 лет назад +2

      God dammnit...

    • @conjureslade7149
      @conjureslade7149 5 лет назад

      In a year or so, I will start a Twitch channel, with the same name as this profile, streaming games until I have enough money to get a GOP to go air soft bids on youtube.

  • @epicgamer-kh7qg
    @epicgamer-kh7qg 3 года назад +252

    this is an exact recreation of what god did when he was creating us

    • @Bluzigo
      @Bluzigo 3 года назад +10

      LOOK AT MY BEAUTIFUL CREATURES

    • @hiddendraco2607
      @hiddendraco2607 2 года назад +12

      Are you telling me Markiplier is god? If so I'm totally on board

    • @Engieman909
      @Engieman909 2 года назад

      @@hiddendraco2607 what does that make Bob, Wade, and Shaun?

    • @n-s-a7113
      @n-s-a7113 2 года назад

      @@Engieman909 arch angles

    • @rubygamer21
      @rubygamer21 Год назад

      @@danghd2 nonono ANGLES not angels

  • @constellations8572
    @constellations8572 3 года назад +6

    2:10 eugenics 101

  • @RealMuromets
    @RealMuromets 3 года назад +2

    “Forever go away”
    Ad: *sup*

  • @brookebondrozelle
    @brookebondrozelle 5 лет назад +706

    I wonder how confused Chica was hearing her name so many times

    • @alonsospassion924
      @alonsospassion924 5 лет назад +10

      Brooke Rozelle she’s usually not with him but sometimes lays by him while he plays

    • @brookebondrozelle
      @brookebondrozelle 5 лет назад +12

      Alonso's Passion she’s all knowing

    • @queeniethequeenbee3701
      @queeniethequeenbee3701 5 лет назад +9

      Pretty sure she can hear him, she's a DOG.

    • @heshtov5367
      @heshtov5367 5 лет назад +7

      Well dogs have better hearing than humans

    • @mackapacka2695
      @mackapacka2695 5 лет назад +18

      mark: chica, what are you doing
      chica: he has gone crazy again

  • @silvertail7131
    @silvertail7131 5 лет назад +435

    AKA the episode where markiplier throws his dog down the stairs a few hundred times till the poor pooch resorts to dark magic

  • @randomguyontheinternet9107
    @randomguyontheinternet9107 3 года назад +3

    "Wait, I got an idea"
    *final words before disaster*

  • @MisplacedPotassium
    @MisplacedPotassium 2 года назад +2

    “Baby spiders in your face!”
    *fnaf vr flashbacks*

  • @brendan9734
    @brendan9734 5 лет назад +315

    Why does everyone put muscles inside of triangles?
    *TRIANGLES CAN’T BEND*

    • @Jester_Jingles
      @Jester_Jingles 5 лет назад +1

      Brendan rigggggghhhhhtttt

    • @NXE212
      @NXE212 5 лет назад +2

      then why don't you split the triangle 3 joint into more joint

    • @peakeythebard1454
      @peakeythebard1454 5 лет назад +4

      They can if you try hard enough

    • @Actinide5013
      @Actinide5013 5 лет назад +1

      and then jojo characters

    • @primate6854
      @primate6854 5 лет назад +5

      that's where you're wrong kiddo

  • @organmann4821
    @organmann4821 5 лет назад +352

    That. Is *not.* how spiders work.
    Wait no.
    *You are exactly right.*

    • @calyxman
      @calyxman 5 лет назад +5

      *loads SPAS-12*
      *tries to aim at Poison Zombie*
      *_IT'S A FUCKING SPIDER WAIT NO_*
      *baby spiders come out of shotgun and cover the poison zombie*
      nice

    • @cooldude5397
      @cooldude5397 5 лет назад +1

      motato_potato ART/GAMES I agree

    • @organmann4821
      @organmann4821 5 лет назад

      HOLY CRAP, HOW DID *I* GEY SO MANY LIKES-OFF OF A SPIDER COMMENT NO LESS?!?!
      *i feel blessed*

  • @v3es473
    @v3es473 Год назад +1

    It's 3 am and I am looking at a grown man laughing at a thing that looks like a bridge with muscles trying to run.

  • @KatieLeDerp
    @KatieLeDerp 2 года назад +1

    I just imagine this how he talks to some kids. He just watches kids on a trampoline with a beer in hand. One of the kids shoots into the air and he's just like "WHERE DID YOU GO?!"

  • @wickermind6668
    @wickermind6668 5 лет назад +668

    what would you do if you were walking in a forest, and a random "A" shaped monster started aggressively break dancing towards you?

  • @captainonomatopoeia
    @captainonomatopoeia 5 лет назад +298

    Markiplier creates life.
    Life: wHy hAvE yOu FoRsAkEn Me MaStEr

    • @Phoebe5448
      @Phoebe5448 5 лет назад +17

      *Mark*: *creates life*
      Life: *exists in perpetual agony*
      *Mark*: *drinks Monster*

    • @hamlunchable
      @hamlunchable 5 лет назад +5

      @@Phoebe5448 iM dRiNkInG a MoNsTeR rIgHt NoW

    • @gryphonkingbros847
      @gryphonkingbros847 5 лет назад +2

      Markiplier Makes: Ded peepos

    • @Phoebe5448
      @Phoebe5448 5 лет назад +1

      WHHHHOOOAAAAA!!! SPOOPY@@hamlunchable

    • @vr0c131
      @vr0c131 5 лет назад

      WhY yOu TaLk LiKe GaMzEe MaKaRa

  • @SpeedyTurtle975
    @SpeedyTurtle975 Год назад +1

    Now I'm just imagining zombies looking like this with a Markiplier face causing an apocalypse and repeatedly say Hello Everybody My Name Is Markiplier menacingly

  • @CloudsGirl7
    @CloudsGirl7 Год назад +1

    "Well, that's not walking, that's flopping on your ass!"
    - Markiplier, and probably also someone being hyper-critical of a baby

  • @ee3171
    @ee3171 4 года назад +322

    2018:Mark: I don't think spiders lay eggs.
    2019:Mark:There's a spider laying eggs in my vr headset!!

    • @agonyghoul488
      @agonyghoul488 3 года назад +18

      I breed spiders I can confirm they lay eggs XD

    • @YarnyKate
      @YarnyKate 3 года назад +1

      Growth!

    • @veragevann
      @veragevann 3 года назад +2

      character development

    • @hrblock11
      @hrblock11 3 года назад +2

      Burn the headset i have arachnophobia

    • @fluttershy1529
      @fluttershy1529 3 года назад

      Jerry Cook nu

  • @kat-kalamity
    @kat-kalamity 5 лет назад +142

    I can relate to Chica freezing under pressure on a spiritual level.

    • @InsomniacStephens141
      @InsomniacStephens141 5 лет назад +4

      I froze once. When a girl was spinning a 1 metre rusty metal pole like a batton and let go. It flew at me like a javelin. Hit me directly on the right eye socket. I could have been half blind if it weren't for the pure luck of the direct hit

    • @ClownDollThatHasContemptForYou
      @ClownDollThatHasContemptForYou 5 лет назад +1

      Same

    • @kat-kalamity
      @kat-kalamity 5 лет назад +4

      @@InsomniacStephens141 OH DAMN I'M GLAD U OK HOMIE.
      (Also who the heck just chucks poles at people wtf?)

    • @InsomniacStephens141
      @InsomniacStephens141 5 лет назад +3

      @@kat-kalamity it was an accident at a playgroup when I was much younger, but if you imagine the hollow inside of the pole, it hit me so my eye was within the hollow part. Luckiest I could have been

  • @PHPFlips
    @PHPFlips Год назад +2

    “That’s not walking! That’s flopping on your ass!”
    *Lmfao* 💀

  • @TheMultiGamerOfficial
    @TheMultiGamerOfficial 3 года назад +3

    12:35
    Man, this new zodiac sign is kinda dope.

  • @mattp.2282
    @mattp.2282 5 лет назад +160

    "Bizarre versions of porn"
    I am curious but I kinda don't want to ask

  • @RK-jv1js
    @RK-jv1js 5 лет назад +1103

    If the ultimate life form is a spider I would rather not evolve

    • @mysterymeat64
      @mysterymeat64 5 лет назад +21

      Remington Reacts I would. Being a spider would be rad.

    • @RK-jv1js
      @RK-jv1js 5 лет назад +15

      Axolotl Invasion well, I have arachnophobia, so...

    • @lurkerremastered1578
      @lurkerremastered1578 5 лет назад +48

      @@RK-jv1js you can't be afraid of the spider if you are the spider. Taps head with finger*

    • @RK-jv1js
      @RK-jv1js 5 лет назад +5

      Lurker Remastered are you questioning me?!?

    • @Lucky-xz4xq
      @Lucky-xz4xq 5 лет назад

      Spiders and tarantulas are one of my favorite animals(bugs)

  • @TalesofDrCreepYPasta
    @TalesofDrCreepYPasta 6 месяцев назад +1

    Fun Fact:the reason the creatures walk so weird is that the AI controlling them doesn't know what walking looks like,so it just goes with whatever works.

  • @randomcrackhead8627
    @randomcrackhead8627 2 года назад +2

    Markiplier: this is a family friendly channel
    Also Mark: *explains how babies are made*

  • @asswipe8062
    @asswipe8062 3 года назад +504

    "The ultimate life form"
    He's immortal! Unkillable! Unmatched!

    • @numba3797
      @numba3797 3 года назад +36

      he'll freeze in space

    • @oogabooga5510
      @oogabooga5510 3 года назад +21

      @@numba3797 i was waiting for the jojo reference 😩

    • @GG11VR
      @GG11VR 3 года назад +9

      Yare Yare YES YES YES YES Y. E. S.

    • @Daizz009
      @Daizz009 3 года назад +9

      @@numba3797 And eventually, he'll stop thinking.

    • @plasmaticlmao
      @plasmaticlmao 3 года назад +8

      That's why I clicked lmao

  • @serenitymartel6683
    @serenitymartel6683 5 лет назад +360

    Mark at 5:24 "this is a family friendly channel" Mark at 18:58 explaining how sex works

  • @blakestillplays5283
    @blakestillplays5283 2 года назад +8

    family friendly ehhh 0:10

  • @ultimategigachad629
    @ultimategigachad629 2 года назад +2

    Mark: creating the ultimate life form
    _meanwhile in the space of the jojo universe_
    Kars: am i a joke to you?

  • @brycevo
    @brycevo 5 лет назад +689

    This isn't even my *Final Form* !

    • @ImWhyMortalsCry
      @ImWhyMortalsCry 5 лет назад +17

      You wanna see me turn into my Final Form?
      You wanna see me doing it *again?*

    • @gminebra962
      @gminebra962 5 лет назад +1

      Bryce Mckenzie what is it?

    • @eveeeofthelostwoods5471
      @eveeeofthelostwoods5471 5 лет назад +1

      I understood that reference

    • @gminebra962
      @gminebra962 5 лет назад

      CJPlay i gave you a comment on you new vid

    • @TheJerseyDay
      @TheJerseyDay 5 лет назад +4

      Put on mask with red aja for final form

  • @ashleyjohnson9651
    @ashleyjohnson9651 5 лет назад +114

    You've created the best and most terrifying thing known to man
    a dog with a 12 foot vertical leap

  • @unknownunknown6500
    @unknownunknown6500 3 года назад +2

    I was expecting to see a man with arm blades and wings use a life energy

  • @arjunrao11
    @arjunrao11 5 месяцев назад +2

    MARK BECAME KARS FROM BATTLE TENDENCY

  • @takeitback.rightnow8553
    @takeitback.rightnow8553 3 года назад +223

    "Im pretty sure spiders give live birth"
    *egg sack intensifies*

  • @Em-es4bk
    @Em-es4bk 5 лет назад +235

    „ Bizarre versions of porn"
    ~markiplier 2018~

    • @ItsFifiStyle
      @ItsFifiStyle 5 лет назад +2

      *markiplier

    • @Mehrunes86
      @Mehrunes86 5 лет назад

      If that's what he like see, he better "stick" to it, or am i stretching it, a bit too much😀
      Sorry for my bad humor😃

    • @PurpleGuy1987
      @PurpleGuy1987 5 лет назад +2

      ah a man of culture

  • @antoniomelis6743
    @antoniomelis6743 3 года назад +2

    Never seen so much dogs jump on their faces to go down some stairs

  • @maverick1841
    @maverick1841 5 месяцев назад +1

    ~the end of the world~ "Hello mortals my name is Markiplier JUDGEMENT HAS COME"

  • @danmcmaster4561
    @danmcmaster4561 5 лет назад +129

    I could tell from the thumbnail this was going to be either:
    A, The fall and rebirth of Markiplier into an ultra powerful crab god!
    B, a funny let's play
    Or C, A severely stupid game
    Looks like all 3 were right

    • @kevbri11
      @kevbri11 4 года назад +1

      a game that progressively grows smarter = stupid
      gottem

  • @sionijiminian9874
    @sionijiminian9874 5 лет назад +228

    Mark says "this is supposed to be a child friendly stream" he then discloses how he believes spiders mate vividly. What
    wholesome content :)

    • @manbuckett3460
      @manbuckett3460 5 лет назад +8

      Daddy long legs have penises which technically would make them different than other spiders. Which might make them not a spider

    • @brothersandsistersofvalhalla
      @brothersandsistersofvalhalla 5 лет назад +10

      Most female spiders eat the male to reproduce. Eat their entire body.

    • @SurprisinglyDeep
      @SurprisinglyDeep 5 лет назад +10

      Also he discusses how the streamer are "sick f***s" for wanting a hamster to f**k an elephant 😂

    • @Revenent666
      @Revenent666 5 лет назад

      That's because he's full of shit.

    • @maya.5534
      @maya.5534 5 лет назад +1

      Dont forget cocktober

  • @enricocvik601
    @enricocvik601 3 года назад +2

    Noone:
    Mark:
    MY SPAWN
    THE SEED WAS BAD

  • @Luximus17
    @Luximus17 5 лет назад +526

    This must be what God sees all the time

    • @seanobrienplays688
      @seanobrienplays688 5 лет назад +4

      probably.

    • @noxnox2
      @noxnox2 5 лет назад +7

      what do you mean us failing or a bunch of group oreges?

    • @33brothr
      @33brothr 5 лет назад +2

      unicorns aren't real

    • @wovensystem1782
      @wovensystem1782 5 лет назад +4

      @Austin White and mark killed him, and took his place

    • @falloutgeek1115
      @falloutgeek1115 5 лет назад

      God created things and they will never evolve they will always look the same

  • @aeuouae
    @aeuouae 5 лет назад +227

    Hearing the way Mark explains spider birth makes me wish he was my teacher.

  • @notsure1969
    @notsure1969 3 года назад +1

    I never thought I would laugh so hard at 50 stick figure dogs falling down an endless flight of stairs set to a jubilant twangy soundtrack.

  • @Armgoth
    @Armgoth Год назад +1

    Goddam what a nightmare material your description of spider reproduction was.

  • @videodays6652
    @videodays6652 5 лет назад +209

    *sees the beginning of the game*
    Me: Oh that’s so cool!
    *sees final form*
    Me: Oh GOD that is horrifying…