THIS is Why You Trauma Bond

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  • Опубликовано: 29 окт 2024

Комментарии • 40

  • @kellhalla5301
    @kellhalla5301 3 года назад +6

    Thanks Kerwin. I walked sway from my family because they could not understand their banter had been the root of my depression anxiety and poor self worth. I moved away changed my mindset due to listening to your work and kept walking after trying to explain. In the end i chose my hsppiness.

  • @leahflower9924
    @leahflower9924 2 года назад +35

    bonding over your trauma with people isnt what a trauma bond is, a trauma bond is similar to stockholm syndrome there is usually a perpetrator which is usually a narcissist or similar and a victim, it involves intermittent reinforcement and rewards and punishments.

    • @FriskyTendervittles
      @FriskyTendervittles 2 года назад +1

      Not necessarily
      Both people could be customs of trauma in younger years and end up in a relationship. Even if one is a narcissist the victim of the narcissist is a messed up person too

    • @leahflower9924
      @leahflower9924 2 года назад +1

      @@FriskyTendervittles ok but two traumatized people doesn't necessarily mean abuse a trauma bond usually has an abusive dynamic to it

    • @FriskyTendervittles
      @FriskyTendervittles 2 года назад +2

      @@leahflower9924 and the person who stays is just as guilty. No one makes you stay. You convince yourself you need to stay because your self worth is shit because you are traumatized. Staying the victim won’t get you anywhere

    • @leahflower9924
      @leahflower9924 2 года назад

      @@FriskyTendervittles yeah most psychologists agree with you you're just a little harsh lol

    • @FriskyTendervittles
      @FriskyTendervittles 2 года назад

      @@leahflower9924 I don’t mean to be.

  • @UnicornNationUnited
    @UnicornNationUnited 3 года назад +9

    This hit home. I have started feeling myself doing this to my own daughters and been trying to change it. I grew up that way and i DID become a very insecure adult. I definitely DONT want to grow these same tendencies and codependence in my own daughters. I want them to be better than me not the same if not worse :(

  • @johnellison1635
    @johnellison1635 2 года назад +1

    I've only just discovered trauma bonding today. This has been a huge part of my life. Huge.

  • @TheHumanRanger
    @TheHumanRanger 3 года назад +13

    Another reason to get toxic people out of your life! Thanks for the reminder Kerwin. I love these clips; short, smart and to the point!

  • @watours
    @watours 3 года назад +1

    Being aware of habits and making a concerted change is a challenge, I embrace! Cheers, you're a legend!

  • @karensilver7138
    @karensilver7138 3 года назад +3

    I loved this clip. I would love to know what the opposite of trauma bonding would be, say, in groups of people that “hang” out. Things that catch your attention and help you to bond in positive ways …

  • @kalikodelevere5008
    @kalikodelevere5008 2 года назад +2

    A trauma bond is when one person who was being treated well suddenly gets given bread crumbs of good treatment and the bad treatment comes in. The trauma bonded person waits around for the crumbs of good treatment whilst accepting the bad treatment in the hope that soon a crumb of goodness will come. Itermittent reinforcement if the definition of a trauma bond.

  • @charlottecumbridge7163
    @charlottecumbridge7163 2 года назад +8

    Trauma bonding is not bonding over trauma. It’s a good message you’re saying but it’s just not trauma bonding you’re talking about

  • @juliankippuw3063
    @juliankippuw3063 3 года назад +2

    Damn that hit home! Awesome as always

  • @paulcamerongamechanger
    @paulcamerongamechanger 2 года назад

    I love this content as I work with people on a variety of matters and I myself grew up believing that this form of attachment is banter and indicative of closeness and familiarity. This new form of psychology that is emerging today challenges just about everything I learnt growing up. I am studying NLP and I am myself confronting so many of my old ways.

  • @MrMeekuh1
    @MrMeekuh1 3 года назад +1

    Great stuff! Looking forward to the next video! I would love to see models of healthy bonding patterns to show my family and students

  • @jean-francoisbec8358
    @jean-francoisbec8358 3 года назад +2

    Wow that's a good point! I use sarcasm a lot. I'll try to connect in another way, thank you Kerwin!

  • @kjbrocky
    @kjbrocky 2 года назад +3

    That is not what trauma bonding is.

  • @martells3
    @martells3 2 года назад

    Yeah I was wondering if a trauma bonded relationship can be fixed iam asking like if I'm the problem and I want to be different . Can this be mended

  • @jennymil33
    @jennymil33 3 года назад

    Wish it was longer...how do I heal and break free from this?

  • @faysmith7248
    @faysmith7248 2 года назад +1

    Banter is the least of my worries. Try dating a pathological liar 🤥 cheater etc. Phsycopaths use this technique to get people hooked. I have CPTSD not due to " banter" I wish...my parents litteraly abused me.

    • @ghjgknjkl
      @ghjgknjkl 2 года назад

      Fellow CPTSD club member here- I hope you've found some videos on actual trauma bonding by now? This video is very misguiding as to what that term actually means

  • @scottthomas5819
    @scottthomas5819 2 года назад

    Yes

  • @scottkingsley6905
    @scottkingsley6905 2 года назад

    The most difficult are work relationships. Ya take the piss for 50 hours, but ya depend on ya crew to make it a smooth day.

  • @kashiefasalie6557
    @kashiefasalie6557 Год назад

    How do we connect in a healthy level after the years we just had this trauma bond connection how do we break this cycle of shit talk

  • @pipeline732
    @pipeline732 2 года назад +5

    This is an uninformed way of using the term 'trauma bond'

  • @arifstryder5393
    @arifstryder5393 2 года назад

    Nice content here, Sir.
    Can you please suggest me the first thing/video from you I should go through first?
    I'm diagnosed with ADHD and Depression. I want to pursue my life/career as a happy entrepreneur.
    Your feedback will be much appreciated. Thank you in advance ☺

  • @emmasmith5859
    @emmasmith5859 3 года назад +6

    That is not what trauma bonding is this so ignorant

  • @elle_aye112
    @elle_aye112 2 года назад +1

    That is not trauma bonding. This information is incorrect

  • @dawnbradrick6289
    @dawnbradrick6289 2 года назад

    I don’t believe talking does any good. Dawn is full of past trauma 🌞🐾Limbic System

  • @jakejake3182
    @jakejake3182 2 года назад

    This is what church does.

  • @ghjgknjkl
    @ghjgknjkl 2 года назад

    Not even close to the true meaning of a trauma bond lol

  • @roddywilliams9957
    @roddywilliams9957 2 года назад

    This is an opinion and the worst video I’ve seen on trauma bond