Ah, a fellow gamer! Good to meet you, Mohammed! Top level, as in pro? I was never quite that good, but I used to dream of getting there. I'm really sorry you're suffering. I don't know what treatments you've already tried, but there are a lot of options out there with more on the way. If you've been dealing with this for a while (and it sounds like you have) and you've exhausted the basics such as one-on-one talk therapy or group therapy and more than one antidepressant then you are probably a candidate for ketamine and while it doesn't work for everyone it does work for most and it's effects can be dramatic. It currently has the highest remission rates of any existing treatment, medication based or otherwise.
Thanks for the reply dud, I have depression with border line personality, which is very difficult for me to treat, I took ketamine two times in ketamine clinics of los angelous, the first time was a very high dose (1mg/Kg) which was barely fine with me, and became a little bit better, the second time, it was a very very high dose, and I thought I was a cell stuck in the universe, it was a very bad experience which left me in shock for a week, I am planing to get it but with the normal dose (0.5mg/Kg), not (1mg/Kg) or (1.4mg/Kg), I meant gamer by playing all the time until my teenage year, sorry for the misunderstanding,
@mark d-and Kenneth.....Thanks for the interest in how my Ketamine tx went... unfortunately it didn’t go as I had hoped. One mistake I made was finding myself signed up for treatments all too quickly. I was in my shrinks office on a Friday- she was frustrated at my lack of response to pretty much every med possible and asked if I’d be willing to try it. Then from the parking lot I called the office and was scheduled for Monday, 2x/wk for 3 weeks. I had done some research about it but what I wasn’t prepared for with such a quick decision was the dreaded 20% or so who fail treatment. I highly suggest anyone considering Ketamine to try to really take it into consideration, my psych doc didn’t and in my case it was done by an anesthesiologist, and she didn’t offer up much before starting or even about each session. My first Mon/Wed treatments on Th/Fri had me feeling absolutely amazingly fantastic. I was upbeat,productive and thought Wow, this is how others feel!? I was ectastic ! Then Sat upon awakening- the depression hit me as bad as ever. I was so unprepared for that, I felt, it sounds silly, but betrayed by Ketamine and as if the rug was pulled out from my world. I did all 6 sessions in hopes of feeling better but it didn’t happen, I also almost feel like I needed a bit of therapy to deal with my sessions. I had no fun hallucinations of dancing hippos and other “fun trips” like her other patients. I had very dark,almost an ominous experience that were disturbing. I can expand if anyone is interested. My dosing was I think quite high- was told most patients are given 0.5mg/kg and I had 3.0mg/kg as I have an impossible high tolerance for any types of meds. So I’m still having some anxiety because there is nothing else on the horizon and ECT remains the gold standard and I’m not willing to go there yet, if ever. Apologies for writing so much- happy to answer and other questions, don’t mind very personal if it means I can help/contribute to anyone in any way!
By the way, the "norm" is .5/kg for infusion.....LOWER doses are also effective for those who are sensitive to this medication. I had to ask my Dr to lower the dose and that was the magic for me. There is a wide range of effective doses .15 - 3.0/kg . This is important to remember b/c there is a LOT of research proving that based on our genetics,, the sweet spot for ketamine varies a lot. Don't give up if you have too intense of an experience......experiment a little.
Standing - that's just wrong! I don't game, rather do audio recording, graphics design and writing. That's whilst going through chronic depression. Can relate to the abuse - had a nihilistic, volatile sociopathic brother. Terrified of him growing up. Can also relate to the sadness - profoundly so, lamenting the past - of what, in particular I failed in - several areas. Life's not my cup of tea - is quite literally a guilt trip. Yet, I suspect I am inherently innocent which cannot be altered. It would figure then, guilt is an illusion.
I feel you man, I really suffer a lot from mental illness and constant fight against sucidility
I used to be a top level gamer btw
Ah, a fellow gamer! Good to meet you, Mohammed! Top level, as in pro? I was never quite that good, but I used to dream of getting there.
I'm really sorry you're suffering. I don't know what treatments you've already tried, but there are a lot of options out there with more on the way. If you've been dealing with this for a while (and it sounds like you have) and you've exhausted the basics such as one-on-one talk therapy or group therapy and more than one antidepressant then you are probably a candidate for ketamine and while it doesn't work for everyone it does work for most and it's effects can be dramatic. It currently has the highest remission rates of any existing treatment, medication based or otherwise.
Thanks for the reply dud,
I have depression with border line personality, which is very difficult for me to treat,
I took ketamine two times in ketamine clinics of los angelous, the first time was a very high dose (1mg/Kg) which was barely fine with me, and became a little bit better,
the second time, it was a very very high dose, and I thought I was a cell stuck in the universe, it was a very bad experience which left me in shock for a week,
I am planing to get it but with the normal dose (0.5mg/Kg), not (1mg/Kg) or (1.4mg/Kg),
I meant gamer by playing all the time until my teenage year, sorry for the misunderstanding,
Trying Ketamine Monday...anxiously waiting. Thanks for sharing!
how did ketamine go?
@mark d-and Kenneth.....Thanks for the interest in how my Ketamine tx went... unfortunately it didn’t go as I had hoped. One mistake I made was finding myself signed up for treatments all too quickly. I was in my shrinks office on a Friday- she was frustrated at my lack of response to pretty much every med possible and asked if I’d be willing to try it. Then from the parking lot I called the office and was scheduled for Monday, 2x/wk for 3 weeks. I had done some research about it but what I wasn’t prepared for with such a quick decision was the dreaded 20% or so who fail treatment. I highly suggest anyone considering Ketamine to try to really take it into consideration, my psych doc didn’t and in my case it was done by an anesthesiologist, and she didn’t offer up much before starting or even about each session. My first Mon/Wed treatments on Th/Fri had me feeling absolutely amazingly fantastic. I was upbeat,productive and thought Wow, this is how others feel!? I was ectastic ! Then Sat upon awakening- the depression hit me as bad as ever. I was so unprepared for that, I felt, it sounds silly, but betrayed by Ketamine and as if the rug was pulled out from my world. I did all 6 sessions in hopes of feeling better but it didn’t happen, I also almost feel like I needed a bit of therapy to deal with my sessions. I had no fun hallucinations of dancing hippos and other “fun trips” like her other patients. I had very dark,almost an ominous experience that were disturbing. I can expand if anyone is interested. My dosing was I think quite high- was told most patients are given 0.5mg/kg and I had 3.0mg/kg as I have an impossible high tolerance for any types of meds. So I’m still having some anxiety because there is nothing else on the horizon and ECT remains the gold standard and I’m not willing to go there yet, if ever. Apologies for writing so much- happy to answer and other questions, don’t mind very personal if it means I can help/contribute to anyone in any way!
this can happen but if you continue the treatments, you will see a huge difference.....I promise
By the way, the "norm" is .5/kg for infusion.....LOWER doses are also effective for those who are sensitive to this medication. I had to ask my Dr to lower the dose and that was the magic for me. There is a wide range of effective doses .15 - 3.0/kg . This is important to remember b/c there is a LOT of research proving that based on our genetics,, the sweet spot for ketamine varies a lot. Don't give up if you have too intense of an experience......experiment a little.
Standing - that's just wrong! I don't game, rather do audio recording, graphics design and writing. That's whilst going through chronic depression. Can relate to the abuse - had a nihilistic, volatile sociopathic brother. Terrified of him growing up. Can also relate to the sadness - profoundly so, lamenting the past - of what, in particular I failed in - several areas. Life's not my cup of tea - is quite literally a guilt trip. Yet, I suspect I am inherently innocent which cannot be altered. It would figure then, guilt is an illusion.
Hi jon, wondering if u could go into more detail about what u regret? Hope u post a new video soon.. miss seeing your videos. Thanks!
Hi....it has been a long time.....are you okay? Please make a follow-up so we don't worry.