the abuse is not about your worth but about them unless you willingly gave up your dignity and selfrespect in emotional incest for example. Subtle invasive abuse, that offers something in return that the kid both wants (intimacy) but is disgusted by at the same time (sexual undertones or icky in some way) is what causes real shame and disgust: because it was volentarily. You were seduced in debasing yourself bc you wanted something. This carries shame because you deep down know you could have chosen intimacy with yourself (authenticity) over with another and it causes selfdisgust, its worse in selfhate imo bc that feels more like that was transferred to you and had little to do with choice. Many narcs and psychopaths are born bc they cant stand their own dependency and how they lower themselves, their own dependency, and bc denial feels better, start asking that from others so they can look down on them. Most abuse you know its just a feeling, a belief that it was about you but not with this kind of abuse
the abuse is not about your worth but about them unless you willingly gave up your dignity and selfrespect in emotional incest for example. Subtle invasive abuse, that offers something in return that the kid both wants (intimacy) but is disgusted by at the same time (sexual undertones or icky in some way) is what causes real shame and disgust: because it was volentarily. You were seduced in debasing yourself bc you wanted something. This carries shame because you deep down know you could have chosen intimacy with yourself (authenticity) over with another and it causes selfdisgust, its worse in selfhate imo bc that feels more like that was transferred to you and had little to do with choice. Many narcs and psychopaths are born bc they cant stand their own dependency and how they lower themselves, their own dependency, and bc denial feels better, start asking that from others so they can look down on them. Most abuse you know its just a feeling, a belief that it was about you but not with this kind of abuse