Well I got a good laugh out of it anyway. The Colonel rants seriously in the foreground, while throwing garbage at a litterbug and attacking her car with his executive car park beating stick in the background. Quite delicious...
You can't beat a good old CF rant. Absolutely fantastic to hear the in-depth analysis from someone who actually understands the games industry and more importantly, what it SHOULD be doing. Well done sir 😃
+1 The game didn't deserve the Colonel's time, but the developers (and the rest of us) got a good seminar on basic game design. I suppose that it's the widespread availability of the game engines that make this sort of thing possible - so thin that you can see the spreadsheet through it, a bit like the dribbly green cyphers of The Matrix.
I love how I went into this knowing that it was terrible, and that you still managed to make this an amusing, interesting commentary on what looks like an absolutely awful piece of shovelware.
Gas Station Simulator was a masterpiece and this game has taken the worst aspects of Gas Station Sim and made them the only things to do. I mean, seriously, that tagger kid pissed me off, the same with throwing bags of garbage but at least the brilliant minds behind Gas Station knew how to make it fun by giving you a distance meter thus turning it into its own mini game. In all honesty, there's not much to paid parking lots; I've seen many different ones in my time and have even used them, but when you fired off that list, off the top of your head, that really blew my mind. Seriously, these guys did the bare minimum and designed a game that, if it was free, you couldn't convince me (or pay me) to play it. Solid review, Colonel!
Ok. So this is basically my actual job. The planning, financial, and operational stuff. There is a way this conceot might get close to 'fun'. Building in what you said. E.g; 1. Get an old awful car park, charge cash, get the right price. Make cash. 2. Surface it, make it nice, higher price. Make more more money. 3. Design and build extra storeys. cctv. Staff. Make more money. 4. Buy a new site, improve, repeat. 5. Be able to buy multiple site all over a city, they get bigger, further in the centre. More storeys, underground, pricing for retail, commuters... 6. Vast empire, lots of staff, season tickets, app. Mutliple cities etc. etc. Even then not convinced. But... Maybe.
Throw in some extras, the occasional breakdown, car fire, or remains of a king being buried there. Add skateboarders or herberts riding down ramps in a shopping trolley. Get some clamping action in there, alarms going off randomly, lifts you have to prevent people urinating in. A few blocked gutters, disabled space infringers, broken ticket machines, incomprehensible parking apps, people leaving bags behind, CCTV, environmental protection tests. It's all there. You could include valets and valeting, executive parking, melting tarmac, suspension wrecking speed bumps, dragons teeth for non payers, secret agent meetings. You'd have people wanting to show off their car parks as much as they currently flex their epic builds in Cities Skylines...
Sounds like some nice ideas to me. I was looking at the customisation side, thinking of things like buying decorative things like trees,bushes, benches and writable signs so you could further customise the park into becoming anything from a standard run-down park to a multi-storey (above and below ground) profit making machine and even the possibilities of sacrificing potential profits and being able to turn parts of the park into a recreational area and make a small business happy by letting them sell hot dogs to other people as they wander around the area. Funny enough, when I was thinking of this, I was remembering my times playing Viva Pinata back in the Xbox 360 era... Good fun times. Night time could be pretty interesting too. In theory you could have two main options with one being "do the night shift" and deal with events as they happen, the other being the ability to sleep/time skip till dawn and deal with the aftermath of last nights troubles (unless you invested in security and/or CCTV which could be viewed at any time on your phone app). You could have a range of options like: - Drunkards throwing up everywhere - Druggies trying to deal in the darker parts of the car park or just wandering around drugging themselves up - Yobbos hanging around the area, mostly harmless but can cause trouble in pairs and groups - Theives trying to break into the cars - Cars getting vandalised - Yobbos doing doughnuts, burnouts and stunts in their cars - Late night couples arguing -Ghost and UFO sightings - Amnesia/dementia suffering people trying to figure out where they parked their car/ where they are. These could easily apply to day time too. Especially if you buy a plot that sits outside the local Job Centre or Tesco.
In this video CF, I think you are giving us great perspective as someone with a passion for gaming and development. Let's hope the devs watch this and take your philosophy to heart.
I always appreciate you insight but this video really shows how much you know about development and what makes a good game. I wouldn’t have thought if most of your ideas but straight away I can see how they would make it so much better a game. It’s a shame what could have been will never be.
Glad to hear an honest opinion of this game. I have seen other channels put multiple episodes up of this game, and they didn't hate on it, but you could tell how boring the game was. All I could think watching those other channels is, "where is the fun?" Never bought, was never going to buy it. Enjoyed your rant on it. :)
Too bad. When this popped into my feed I was looking forward to maybe see you reverse park a car in a tight car park. But what I got instead was another meaningful insight into "how to make a good game", which was also a delight in and of itself.
Games have to be fun, I already have a job striving to please others, I want an escape from that in a game, I don't need another job. I guess job sims aren't for me. lol.....I do have lots of hours in farm sim though, however, and ATS. Those are fun. 🤣 This video was epic fun, nice rant.
Great video with great points. Simulators done well are some of my favourite games including both Transport Fevers, Big Ambitions, ETS2, Cities Skylines etc, even going way back to Airline Tycoon which still gets an outing every now and then.
You've blurred the line a little there from simulator into management game, although Big Ambitions you could argue was in both camps. I don't disagree with your assessment however.
It started great, with multiple names and a tutorial message read in a weirdly pseudo poetic fashion, but the highlight must have been the moment I realized that I'm in for 20 min well informed Colonel rant. The gratest Rent, a we might remember it. I had a big smile while on my face for a while there. And to leave a thought, I think parking lot sim should be a long Beam Ng scenario, some one who knows how to make them could make that happen and make it fun. Parking lot tycoon on the other hand should have a way bigger scale (at least a city or so) and be a bit weird and fun, like "Pizza Connection 2" was in it's day. Upgrade your lot, buy more, lots, cater to different demographics, fight a bloody war against other parking lot operators and have freedom to do silly stuff.
This is a valuable PSA for a whole lot of people that will unfortunately never ever watch it. If another game ever approaches this level of irksome, I suggest you turn it into an absolute belligerent swear-fest, bleep the crap out of it, and then drop it in the Discord for the fans. A half hour of Colonel Failure yelling at an awful game would be high value entertainment for the right crowd.
Your...Best...Review...Ever! I cannot stop laughing while typing this comment. I started LOLing out loud at around two minutes. I started commenting at mark 4:44. Applause old mad on this classic Failure. I mean classic, Colonel Failure. FYI, I did view the entire video. Useless to have the ability to chuck crap and the only impact affect (considerably) is on the ground or in a bin! Good work old man.
Quite expressively played, have to say - I could hear the real-time commentary too, silk purse from sow's ear stuff. I admire your ability to rant continuously too!
That's it. I'm off to make Colonel Failure simulator. Great video and I think I've got the basics for it :) And it would be kind of meta: In the game, you sit there trialing games and writing a comical script about it. No? Yeah, I'd probably get sued anyway ;D
The current state of simulators can squarely be blamed on, for some strange reason, Polish game publishers. See, in the late 2000s/early 2010s the RUclips landscape started realizing there were more German-style job simulators out there besides the two largely America and UK-dominated franchises (Microsoft Flight Sim and Dovetail Games' Train Simulator, for instance. Then, as those German or German-inspired job sims started gaining traction, shovelware developers started to take note. For whatever reason, a LOT of game devs in and around Poland started incorporating and cranking out games with enticing titles. The biggest example of this is publisher PlayWay S.A. (side note: a good sign a sim is going to be generic shovelware built from cobbled-together systems is if the publisher or developer as S.A. in their title, the Swedish/French/Polish equivalent of an American company throwing "Inc." in their name). PlayWay started with relatively inoffensive games like Car Mechanic Simulator, but their simplistic design philosophies blossomed into recycling systems or grafting things wholecloth from Unity asset packs to crank out more games. Games that front-load the first two hours with content to appeal to streamers/RUclipsrs. Heck, look at Car Mechanic Simulator. It's not really simulating anything other than vaguely where a part goes in an engine, and even then they simplify things down to the point all car companies in the world of that game use near-identical engines and layouts. It's not enjoyable to car nerds because it's so simplistic. It's not super enjoyable to not-car-nerds because it tries to appeal to car nerds by using technical jargon and presuming you know where a part is in an engine. Which is to say, like the Colonel mentioned, it fundamentally does not understand its own audience or core gameplay mechanic. They broke big with House Flipper, legitimizing both PlayWay and work sims to a whole new audience. While House Flipper is fun, it's incredibly jank and has a problematic habit of starting from a good mechanic, and working backwards to make it worse so the player has to 'level up' to get to a place where using that mechanic is enjoyable. The publisher of this parking game is very much picking up that PlayWay shovelware style of game publication. They seem to have legitimately tried with a racing game in 2021, then a stock-standard horror game following that, but since then have pivoted to cash-grab simulator titles like this parking lot sim. They also have TWENTY games listed as "coming soon" on Steam, which signals they intend to put out as many as possible and then only continue development/finish the ones that get traction.
I think the aim was to create a really bad game and to that end it's an award winner. There's no need to keep going to build the additional level and basement as the gameplay (such as it is), is all there in the first few minutes, pick litter, collect money, pick litter, bash a baddy, pick litter, pick more litter, unload some supplies, pick litter. I'm not sure if CF mentioned the monotony of the litter picking but if not there's a lot on monotonous litter picking.
Did TTump lawyer Alina Habba consult on this ? (Her background was "parking-lot law"...) Fascinating commentary - and more than mildly entertaining ! Cheers
All I needed to make this .. (throwing a bit of rubbish at inconsiderate customiers) .. rant .. a 'classic' is : (the chunkiglows remainder aside) an musical interlude advertisement for Uncle Kernel Failure's audioblooke. 'Ere, Boss .. did you ever go back for that torch you flunged away .. into the trackside wildernesseses ...? Yey! ;o)
As with any kind of, 'construction', type game; i.e. where you build a business/community/functioning infrastructure, there has to be an end goal that makes all the grinding worth while. Being able to complete stages that build upon other stages until you're able to reach the point where you get to create something that only requires a greater or lesser degree of maintenance on your part for it all to run smoothly. A game that has a certain degree of stratagem involved in order to become efficiently productive, in order to move onto the next stage. Games that actually give you a reason to want to play them, rather than what would seem to be a continuous, endless grind with nothing much to show for it. Setting up a car park that involves the simple mechanic of removing items, only to discover that once you've finished cleaning it up, the only action left is to keep cleaning up, doesn't sound fun at all. There's no end-goal, for one. If there was other things to do, like collect tolls or be able to expand/develop the car park in some way, it might make it a tad more interesting. Having so many satisfied customers would allow you to level-up and introduce new features, might add some interest, for example. You could build up to multi-storey car parks, and hire staff to work on each floor, etc. I'm no game developer, but if I can come up with something like that, why can't those who are? Presumably, it's a case of put out a grossly under-finished concept of a game and hope enough buy it before they realise just how crap it is?
A lot of what you mention IS in this game (collecting tolls, lot expansion, multi-level parking, hiring staff, etc). But as the Colonel eloquently explains, the implementation, execution, game loop, and progression mechanics are *horribly* done, and can't save this game from itself.
I think the colonel would have a riot of a time yelling at the dupes in Oxygen Not Included. I've looked but i don't see a series on your channel. I know its a complex game and the graphics are really cartoony/kid like(so is lets school but it was still a funny series) but aside from the odd vent and pipe junction system that is counter intuitive it's a fun little colony builder with a science theme. And it's loaded with different little characters with personality types/quirks and they can all be renamed and then yelled at...
Sadly, as much as the game itself is right up my strasse there are two reasons you're unlikely to see it on the public channel: First, I actively dislike the art style (the reason is irrational). Second, the volume of backseat driving would be off the chart.
@@colonelfailure I wasn't too keen on the art style myself but its klie's thing... Being drawn to simulator style games with realistic settings myself I have to admit it's nice to see a game outside of AAA with such strong art direction -even if it is a bit child like. I kind of wish someone would make an LCARs style mod for it to look like next gens ship diagrams. To me the colored shirts are a nod to star trek so i could kinda over look it. Still it's quite a brilliant game with the gas 'physics' and automation systems. Though I did need francis johns mid game plastic/steel videos and later how on making liquid hydrogen to launch rockets because over 1000 cycles in game was enough. I'm sure you have a lot of other wonderful nonsense in store for us.
Sadly, there are thousands of games just like this one getting run and having influencers peddle them as something great. I am glad CF doesn't try to sugarcoat anything and try to tell us not to believe our own eyes. This game is utter garbage.
Ha ha, ha ha ha. Ever so slightly 🙃 No, it's entertaining to tell us about the absolute lemons, too. Edit: 06:35 - Madame Door-Clipper just gave birth to a green bottle, and walked away from it! What?? Oh, no. Go on. I'm listening.
Played this. Wait until you have a multiple floor carpark. The cars couldn't get of the ramp and got stuck. Lucky I didn't buy it because I already was sceptical about this game.
Did you ever try Ship Graveyard simulator 2? I think you played the first one (but I'm watching too much RUclips), that was kind of meh, but the second one was really well done, in my opinion.
It is one of the worst of these "Rinse and Repeat" games, along the lines of the new one called Auto Sale Life: Fresh Start, which is even more Rinse And Repeat than this one.
Well ther's acompany that definitely will never send you free keys for any of ther future releases, thanks for being honest, and a good rant nowcand again can be entertaining as this eas
These janky sims remind me a great deal of the godawful AI-written story books, coloring books, etc sold on Amazon that are aimed at kids. Someone has clearly figured out that they can make money producing garbage sim games and hiring a bot farm to pump up the reviews. It’s just this side of fraud.
I think there is a standard "grace period" algorithm built into all games...mandated by Steam. You know...when you have finally decided the game was shit, but you have played longer than the time Steam will still refund your purchase!
I clicked on this video because I thought it was going to be you playing and commenting on the game, not ranting. Apparently, that's a thing you do, so good luck, but it's unwatchable if that's not what you came here for...
It's the ease of development and publishing. Historically, only those who had something they really wanted to play made games because it was hard. Now it's easy it's becoming just another side hustle.
These feel like a content farm type scam. Think of a gaming version of the likes of "5 Min Crafts" etc. Spend as little as possible to develop the game, and use fake reviews, then watch as people buy it and make a little profit. So if it costs them say $1000 USD to make, and they sell 100 copies at $13 USD ea, that's $300 profit right there.
the start... you remove 5 planks from a doorway and there is a computer inside the building.. I mean.. Anywhere in the world... That computer would be stolen or the door would have been un-planked by the realtor.. 2 weeks ago.. Garbage Simulator. Game is garbage, gameplay is garbage. Garbage is everywhere. Garbage garbage :P oh and Graphiti.
Who knows? Since Unreal wokeified game design at a programming language level (can't use innocuous terms like blacklist and whitelist) this is what we might be left with
Well I got a good laugh out of it anyway. The Colonel rants seriously in the foreground, while throwing garbage at a litterbug and attacking her car with his executive car park beating stick in the background. Quite delicious...
You can imagine the original commentary.
@@colonelfailure Need a Directors Cut with the original commentary.
Oh yes please, let us see the original rant-fest of this.
You can't beat a good old CF rant. Absolutely fantastic to hear the in-depth analysis from someone who actually understands the games industry and more importantly, what it SHOULD be doing. Well done sir 😃
+1 The game didn't deserve the Colonel's time, but the developers (and the rest of us) got a good seminar on basic game design. I suppose that it's the widespread availability of the game engines that make this sort of thing possible - so thin that you can see the spreadsheet through it, a bit like the dribbly green cyphers of The Matrix.
I love how I went into this knowing that it was terrible, and that you still managed to make this an amusing, interesting commentary on what looks like an absolutely awful piece of shovelware.
"Mr. Hammond, after careful consideration I've decided not to endorse your park."
Gas Station Simulator was a masterpiece and this game has taken the worst aspects of Gas Station Sim and made them the only things to do. I mean, seriously, that tagger kid pissed me off, the same with throwing bags of garbage but at least the brilliant minds behind Gas Station knew how to make it fun by giving you a distance meter thus turning it into its own mini game.
In all honesty, there's not much to paid parking lots; I've seen many different ones in my time and have even used them, but when you fired off that list, off the top of your head, that really blew my mind. Seriously, these guys did the bare minimum and designed a game that, if it was free, you couldn't convince me (or pay me) to play it.
Solid review, Colonel!
Ok. So this is basically my actual job. The planning, financial, and operational stuff.
There is a way this conceot might get close to 'fun'. Building in what you said. E.g;
1. Get an old awful car park, charge cash, get the right price. Make cash.
2. Surface it, make it nice, higher price. Make more more money.
3. Design and build extra storeys. cctv. Staff. Make more money.
4. Buy a new site, improve, repeat.
5. Be able to buy multiple site all over a city, they get bigger, further in the centre. More storeys, underground, pricing for retail, commuters...
6. Vast empire, lots of staff, season tickets, app. Mutliple cities etc. etc.
Even then not convinced. But... Maybe.
Throw in some extras, the occasional breakdown, car fire, or remains of a king being buried there. Add skateboarders or herberts riding down ramps in a shopping trolley. Get some clamping action in there, alarms going off randomly, lifts you have to prevent people urinating in. A few blocked gutters, disabled space infringers, broken ticket machines, incomprehensible parking apps, people leaving bags behind, CCTV, environmental protection tests. It's all there. You could include valets and valeting, executive parking, melting tarmac, suspension wrecking speed bumps, dragons teeth for non payers, secret agent meetings. You'd have people wanting to show off their car parks as much as they currently flex their epic builds in Cities Skylines...
Sounds like some nice ideas to me. I was looking at the customisation side, thinking of things like buying decorative things like trees,bushes, benches and writable signs so you could further customise the park into becoming anything from a standard run-down park to a multi-storey (above and below ground) profit making machine and even the possibilities of sacrificing potential profits and being able to turn parts of the park into a recreational area and make a small business happy by letting them sell hot dogs to other people as they wander around the area. Funny enough, when I was thinking of this, I was remembering my times playing Viva Pinata back in the Xbox 360 era... Good fun times.
Night time could be pretty interesting too. In theory you could have two main options with one being "do the night shift" and deal with events as they happen, the other being the ability to sleep/time skip till dawn and deal with the aftermath of last nights troubles (unless you invested in security and/or CCTV which could be viewed at any time on your phone app). You could have a range of options like:
- Drunkards throwing up everywhere
- Druggies trying to deal in the darker parts of the car park or just wandering around drugging themselves up
- Yobbos hanging around the area, mostly harmless but can cause trouble in pairs and groups
- Theives trying to break into the cars
- Cars getting vandalised
- Yobbos doing doughnuts, burnouts and stunts in their cars
- Late night couples arguing
-Ghost and UFO sightings
- Amnesia/dementia suffering people trying to figure out where they parked their car/ where they are.
These could easily apply to day time too. Especially if you buy a plot that sits outside the local Job Centre or Tesco.
@@colonelfailure Oh god please stop. You just described an average work day.
I haven't caught one your videos for awhile CNL. But this takes me back when you used to do your vlogs at the end of the videos. Good stuff.
In 30-seconds, you tweaked this game, without using alligators or partying Martians. Really like how you did this vid. Cherio~
In this video CF, I think you are giving us great perspective as someone with a passion for gaming and development. Let's hope the devs watch this and take your philosophy to heart.
I always appreciate you insight but this video really shows how much you know about development and what makes a good game. I wouldn’t have thought if most of your ideas but straight away I can see how they would make it so much better a game. It’s a shame what could have been will never be.
Glad to hear an honest opinion of this game. I have seen other channels put multiple episodes up of this game, and they didn't hate on it, but you could tell how boring the game was. All I could think watching those other channels is, "where is the fun?" Never bought, was never going to buy it. Enjoyed your rant on it. :)
Too bad. When this popped into my feed I was looking forward to maybe see you reverse park a car in a tight car park.
But what I got instead was another meaningful insight into "how to make a good game", which was also a delight in and of itself.
The good Colonel taking one for the team. Thank you sir
Games have to be fun, I already have a job striving to please others, I want an escape from that in a game, I don't need another job. I guess job sims aren't for me. lol.....I do have lots of hours in farm sim though, however, and ATS. Those are fun. 🤣 This video was epic fun, nice rant.
Great video with great points.
Simulators done well are some of my favourite games including both Transport Fevers, Big Ambitions, ETS2, Cities Skylines etc, even going way back to Airline Tycoon which still gets an outing every now and then.
You've blurred the line a little there from simulator into management game, although Big Ambitions you could argue was in both camps. I don't disagree with your assessment however.
It started great, with multiple names and a tutorial message read in a weirdly pseudo poetic fashion, but the highlight must have been the moment I realized that I'm in for 20 min well informed Colonel rant. The gratest Rent, a we might remember it. I had a big smile while on my face for a while there.
And to leave a thought, I think parking lot sim should be a long Beam Ng scenario, some one who knows how to make them could make that happen and make it fun.
Parking lot tycoon on the other hand should have a way bigger scale (at least a city or so) and be a bit weird and fun, like "Pizza Connection 2" was in it's day. Upgrade your lot, buy more, lots, cater to different demographics, fight a bloody war against other parking lot operators and have freedom to do silly stuff.
This is a valuable PSA for a whole lot of people that will unfortunately never ever watch it.
If another game ever approaches this level of irksome, I suggest you turn it into an absolute belligerent swear-fest, bleep the crap out of it, and then drop it in the Discord for the fans.
A half hour of Colonel Failure yelling at an awful game would be high value entertainment for the right crowd.
Sadly, there isn't enough in the game to yell about. Rather than just being bad, it's really thin on activities.
Gas Station Simulator was an amazing series. I should re-watch it.
Loved the soft fade in look of you over the game instead of a hard window. Perfect for what you were doing.
That's bad when I game fails so bad it doesn't even get the benefit of a fail meter.
Your...Best...Review...Ever! I cannot stop laughing while typing this comment. I started LOLing out loud at around two minutes. I started commenting at mark 4:44. Applause old mad on this classic Failure. I mean classic, Colonel Failure. FYI, I did view the entire video. Useless to have the ability to chuck crap and the only impact affect (considerably) is on the ground or in a bin! Good work old man.
Quite expressively played, have to say - I could hear the real-time commentary too, silk purse from sow's ear stuff.
I admire your ability to rant continuously too!
That's it. I'm off to make Colonel Failure simulator. Great video and I think I've got the basics for it :) And it would be kind of meta: In the game, you sit there trialing games and writing a comical script about it. No? Yeah, I'd probably get sued anyway ;D
When you've finished the game, send me a key, I'll promo it for you ;)
@@colonelfailure :)
Hats off to you good sir for managing to last as long as you did!
In all seriousness, that reverse mic drop at the end was glorious.
Glad you approved. I left it in because it felt appropriate.
Hahahaha what an amazing fit! I missed seeing you go on a tangent. You made my day!
Flight Sim: the original that started it all
Gaming industry: "Success!" "Simulate EVERYTHING! -in due time- "
The current state of simulators can squarely be blamed on, for some strange reason, Polish game publishers.
See, in the late 2000s/early 2010s the RUclips landscape started realizing there were more German-style job simulators out there besides the two largely America and UK-dominated franchises (Microsoft Flight Sim and Dovetail Games' Train Simulator, for instance.
Then, as those German or German-inspired job sims started gaining traction, shovelware developers started to take note. For whatever reason, a LOT of game devs in and around Poland started incorporating and cranking out games with enticing titles. The biggest example of this is publisher PlayWay S.A. (side note: a good sign a sim is going to be generic shovelware built from cobbled-together systems is if the publisher or developer as S.A. in their title, the Swedish/French/Polish equivalent of an American company throwing "Inc." in their name).
PlayWay started with relatively inoffensive games like Car Mechanic Simulator, but their simplistic design philosophies blossomed into recycling systems or grafting things wholecloth from Unity asset packs to crank out more games. Games that front-load the first two hours with content to appeal to streamers/RUclipsrs. Heck, look at Car Mechanic Simulator. It's not really simulating anything other than vaguely where a part goes in an engine, and even then they simplify things down to the point all car companies in the world of that game use near-identical engines and layouts. It's not enjoyable to car nerds because it's so simplistic. It's not super enjoyable to not-car-nerds because it tries to appeal to car nerds by using technical jargon and presuming you know where a part is in an engine. Which is to say, like the Colonel mentioned, it fundamentally does not understand its own audience or core gameplay mechanic.
They broke big with House Flipper, legitimizing both PlayWay and work sims to a whole new audience. While House Flipper is fun, it's incredibly jank and has a problematic habit of starting from a good mechanic, and working backwards to make it worse so the player has to 'level up' to get to a place where using that mechanic is enjoyable.
The publisher of this parking game is very much picking up that PlayWay shovelware style of game publication. They seem to have legitimately tried with a racing game in 2021, then a stock-standard horror game following that, but since then have pivoted to cash-grab simulator titles like this parking lot sim. They also have TWENTY games listed as "coming soon" on Steam, which signals they intend to put out as many as possible and then only continue development/finish the ones that get traction.
Me: *picks up the 2x4, looks at the car thief..... * Oy Dev!.... Come on mate!...
ahh, Col. rants .. how i love these videos!! keep the great work going!
thumbs up for an honest review
Brew Barons is a fun fictional brewery sim... with Crimson Sky's style air to air fighting.
It's been on my wishlist for a while.
Santa Woodchipper comes earlier each year.
I think the aim was to create a really bad game and to that end it's an award winner. There's no need to keep going to build the additional level and basement as the gameplay (such as it is), is all there in the first few minutes, pick litter, collect money, pick litter, bash a baddy, pick litter, pick more litter, unload some supplies, pick litter. I'm not sure if CF mentioned the monotony of the litter picking but if not there's a lot on monotonous litter picking.
Did TTump lawyer Alina Habba consult on this ?
(Her background was "parking-lot law"...)
Fascinating commentary - and more than mildly entertaining ! Cheers
All I needed to make this .. (throwing a bit of rubbish at inconsiderate customiers) .. rant .. a 'classic' is : (the chunkiglows remainder aside) an musical interlude advertisement for Uncle Kernel Failure's audioblooke. 'Ere, Boss .. did you ever go back for that torch you flunged away .. into the trackside wildernesseses ...? Yey! ;o)
As with any kind of, 'construction', type game; i.e. where you build a business/community/functioning infrastructure, there has to be an end goal that makes all the grinding worth while. Being able to complete stages that build upon other stages until you're able to reach the point where you get to create something that only requires a greater or lesser degree of maintenance on your part for it all to run smoothly. A game that has a certain degree of stratagem involved in order to become efficiently productive, in order to move onto the next stage. Games that actually give you a reason to want to play them, rather than what would seem to be a continuous, endless grind with nothing much to show for it.
Setting up a car park that involves the simple mechanic of removing items, only to discover that once you've finished cleaning it up, the only action left is to keep cleaning up, doesn't sound fun at all. There's no end-goal, for one. If there was other things to do, like collect tolls or be able to expand/develop the car park in some way, it might make it a tad more interesting. Having so many satisfied customers would allow you to level-up and introduce new features, might add some interest, for example. You could build up to multi-storey car parks, and hire staff to work on each floor, etc. I'm no game developer, but if I can come up with something like that, why can't those who are? Presumably, it's a case of put out a grossly under-finished concept of a game and hope enough buy it before they realise just how crap it is?
A lot of what you mention IS in this game (collecting tolls, lot expansion, multi-level parking, hiring staff, etc). But as the Colonel eloquently explains, the implementation, execution, game loop, and progression mechanics are *horribly* done, and can't save this game from itself.
I think the colonel would have a riot of a time yelling at the dupes in Oxygen Not Included. I've looked but i don't see a series on your channel. I know its a complex game and the graphics are really cartoony/kid like(so is lets school but it was still a funny series) but aside from the odd vent and pipe junction system that is counter intuitive it's a fun little colony builder with a science theme. And it's loaded with different little characters with personality types/quirks and they can all be renamed and then yelled at...
Sadly, as much as the game itself is right up my strasse there are two reasons you're unlikely to see it on the public channel:
First, I actively dislike the art style (the reason is irrational).
Second, the volume of backseat driving would be off the chart.
@@colonelfailure I'd happily watch you play it just to see you torture and kill the Dupes - with YT comments disabled. lol.
@@colonelfailure I wasn't too keen on the art style myself but its klie's thing... Being drawn to simulator style games with realistic settings myself I have to admit it's nice to see a game outside of AAA with such strong art direction -even if it is a bit child like. I kind of wish someone would make an LCARs style mod for it to look like next gens ship diagrams. To me the colored shirts are a nod to star trek so i could kinda over look it. Still it's quite a brilliant game with the gas 'physics' and automation systems. Though I did need francis johns mid game plastic/steel videos and later how on making liquid hydrogen to launch rockets because over 1000 cycles in game was enough. I'm sure you have a lot of other wonderful nonsense in store for us.
Sadly, there are thousands of games just like this one getting run and having influencers peddle them as something great. I am glad CF doesn't try to sugarcoat anything and try to tell us not to believe our own eyes. This game is utter garbage.
Ha ha, ha ha ha. Ever so slightly 🙃
No, it's entertaining to tell us about the absolute lemons, too.
Edit: 06:35 - Madame Door-Clipper just gave birth to a green bottle, and walked away from it! What?? Oh, no. Go on. I'm listening.
Shouldn’t this be called Litter Removal Simulator?
I think this game was secretly your birthday present.
Thanks for the warning, Colonel.
Played this. Wait until you have a multiple floor carpark. The cars couldn't get of the ramp and got stuck. Lucky I didn't buy it because I already was sceptical about this game.
What they should have done is a Valet simulator.
Did you ever try Ship Graveyard simulator 2? I think you played the first one (but I'm watching too much RUclips), that was kind of meh, but the second one was really well done, in my opinion.
Honest feedback from CF 🤣🤣
Sounds as a bussiness college project that someone took way too seriously
Loved the rant, too many games like this out there
Try some Landlord's Super 🙂
Good on you, Colonel. Call this nonsense out.
There are a lot of these asset compilations on steam lately.
I want expect to see this on a Saturday Live Stream 😂
Thanks Col!
Hey...but it's on sale for only $29.99 this weekend only, eh?
Lets play guess the publisher friends! is it Playway or Toplitz labs?
Neither. I know! I too was surprised. It's some Romanian outfit. Could be a Playway offshoot.
13:24 You need to play more Brewmaster from Auroch Digital
Well said Sir!
It is one of the worst of these "Rinse and Repeat" games, along the lines of the new one called Auto Sale Life: Fresh Start, which is even more Rinse And Repeat than this one.
Well ther's acompany that definitely will never send you free keys for any of ther future releases, thanks for being honest, and a good rant nowcand again can be entertaining as this eas
Toll booth simulator?
Have you played this before? I had strong deja vu vibes....
So. What did you actually think of the game ? I couldn't really tell.
These janky sims remind me a great deal of the godawful AI-written story books, coloring books, etc sold on Amazon that are aimed at kids. Someone has clearly figured out that they can make money producing garbage sim games and hiring a bot farm to pump up the reviews. It’s just this side of fraud.
I think there is a standard "grace period" algorithm built into all games...mandated by Steam. You know...when you have finally decided the game was shit, but you have played longer than the time Steam will still refund your purchase!
I clicked on this video because I thought it was going to be you playing and commenting on the game, not ranting. Apparently, that's a thing you do, so good luck, but it's unwatchable if that's not what you came here for...
Games like these are why it feels like the past provided better games.......we live in a world with too much spam money grab games
It's the ease of development and publishing. Historically, only those who had something they really wanted to play made games because it was hard. Now it's easy it's becoming just another side hustle.
I am trying to imagine the first game designed by AI...what do you think it will be all about? Smiles.
Great rant colonel.
The game crap and prob a rip off dev build a better game lol
I might give this one a miss then 😅
😎
so basically you're saying this was terrible... It doesn't even "look" fun or rewarding.
These feel like a content farm type scam. Think of a gaming version of the likes of "5 Min Crafts" etc. Spend as little as possible to develop the game, and use fake reviews, then watch as people buy it and make a little profit. So if it costs them say $1000 USD to make, and they sell 100 copies at $13 USD ea, that's $300 profit right there.
Oh wow, Cnl being on a tangent. This game no good no!
Hahaha.
This game looks like a bag of dog 💩, not the fault of you Colonel
21:12 ... "instead we get this cynical crap that doesn't deserve to live". The In-Laws??
the start... you remove 5 planks from a doorway and there is a computer inside the building.. I mean.. Anywhere in the world... That computer would be stolen or the door would have been un-planked by the realtor.. 2 weeks ago..
Garbage Simulator.
Game is garbage, gameplay is garbage. Garbage is everywhere. Garbage garbage :P
oh and Graphiti.
Oddly enough I made a similar remark in the original commentary.
That game sounds really boring and disappointing 🤔
o7
Who knows? Since Unreal wokeified game design at a programming language level (can't use innocuous terms like blacklist and whitelist) this is what we might be left with