+IgotDis14 I had my headphones on my right ear and the left side was pushed to side if someone called me. Didn't notice the audiotrack was fucked up :D
One of my best friends in high school got me high for my first time when I was 17 years old. He was the biggest stoner I ever knew. He and I both loved chasing women and doing all kinds of crazy stuff together. That was a long time ago. He's a priest now.
+Thank You Bill would be very entertaining but if sam kinison was still here I'd be in the front pew every Sunday for that special preaching that he could only deliver
In my head it would have been even funnier if he went, "Your name is Jim, you sold monkeys, you collected roadkill as a kid and now you're doing this" (first time I watched this was right after I learned about Jonestown, a cautionary tale to not follow "just some guy" if there ever was one).
As a former Baptist preacher I find this very funny…I am indeed “just a guy”. It scares the shit out of me how so many churchgoers would have just gobbled up anything I said like it was the gospel truth (couldn’t resist!). I was deliberate not to abuse the authority voluntarily bestowed upon me by the people and sought to tell the truth about myself before claiming to know anything about God.
@Days of Noah no haha, I’m not sure what you mean by that. No our church ended up closing. All this COVID stuff has been very hard on small churches, small businesses, small anything, at it was a small church of mostly seniors to begin with. No hard feelings about it all, ended on a note of unity with each other, difficult but no resentment. Learned a lot even in that.
@@roadkillanonymous4807 Thats what happens when the business' income depend solely on donations from middle class people And church is a business selling dreams and promises not backed up by evidence.
The point of comedy is making fun of something that may be serious outside the comedy. If some comadian is making good points they are good points. In this case Bill is right and we all know that. Let people have their arguments. Pointing out Bill as a comedian is irrelevant in this case.
Comedy is a great tool for making getting a message across, just like sarcasm, insulting someone/something etc. All of those are also very easy to use, and easily accepted. What I'm trying to say is: no, Bill didn't make good points or strong intellectual arguments. He was entertaining, he did it to make the people laugh, not to push an anti-religious agenda or whatever. So it in fact is relevant to point out he's a comedian. Didn't you ever come across a piece of comedy you disagreed with? Was it not funny and made sense regardless?
+ardvark84 Yes but he's strictly comedy... do you really think he has all these issues about marriage while he's wearing a wedding ring? If you don't know anything about him personally then you shouldn't be making assumptions. It's your belief that he's trying to teach people, not fact. It's fact that they are jokes to make people laugh. He even had to throw in the disclaimer of him believing in God, just to shut morons like you up. And you still didn't get it.
This is the kind of standup that I point a lot of my religious friends to when they ask why I am irreligious. It's casual and funny, while being fairly well put.
This guy is hilarious as hell. My buddy taped his whole stand-up performance (from which this clip is taken from) and loved it. He was on The Dave Chapelle Show if I'm not mistaken. Thanks for posting.
you're not a Christian. if you were, you'd have sold everything you got, given the money to the poor, and followed Jesus. instead, here you are, watching youtube videos on the internets. www costs money.
@Forrest Robles Sell everything you have and give to the poor and you will have treasure in heavens. then come, follow me - Matthew 19:21 Anyone who has possessions is not a Christian
@@criztu actually that verse is meant to indicate how you should put God above everything. It’s not to be taken literally. Although some people are called by God to sell all their possessions.
@@criztu Wouldn't it be more responsible to build as much money as possible and give money to the poor only when you die? Since use your money to make more money.
A cheeseburger is good for your muscles lol. Too many cheeseburgers isn’t even bad for your muscles, it’s bad for your digestive system and can get you fat. Obviously bad for your health but in context it’s great for gains
As great as his female voice is, I still love it when he raises his voice and it cracks slightly. I know it’s just his normal voice but it adds so much to the comedy.
My mom is a Hindu and she makes me follow her special diet as well. I am not allowed to eat meat on Thursdays and Saturdays, but I get so pissed off because the opportunity to eat meat is higher during those days than Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. Slowly I started breaking those rules and she eventually gave up on enforcing those rules, but follows them herself. Guess what, I'm still here and I feel fine. Religion is ridiculous sometimes. They designed this convoluted system to help people delude themselves and feel better about themselves for doing things you should for the sake of humanity and not for some imaginary God.
+BRBallin1 Yeah and then they eat fish and pretend fish isn't meat xD (at least in the religion I was groiwng up with - which i never liked). I mean not eating so much meat is a good idea (those animal factories make one cry), but let's be real about it. Instead: Let's not buy stuff from companies like nestlé, CocaCola and other inhuman sources ... I say to myself.
I also come from a Hindu family and our day to not eat meat was on Tuesday. I quit following that rule years ago and I've been fine. Who makes these rules up anyway?
Well how do you know God is imaginary, prove it. Also to say that you should do something for humanity can only be true if there is some objective moral law that you should do that, otherwise you are not obligated to do anything. But if there is an objective moral law then it is only binding and existing if God exists.
Bill makes my anger problems feel relatable. Like I'm not the only psycho that's still and good person and doesn't really want to hurt anybody but god damn I spend a lot of time fantasizing about it. Like you Tucker. You're on my "Falling Down" list.
My right ear found this hilarious. My left ear was like "what's so funny bro?". Then my right ear had to explain it, and it wasn't funny because the jokes were explained.
i have no problem with religious people unless they get mad at me for not believing what they believe. or they start banging on my door on a Saturday giving away "jesus loves you cards". as George carlin says "keep thy religion to thy self"
I think all the rest of us should walk around naked from 10:00 to noon every Sunday. People in church would just be sitting there going "Dang. There's naked people all over the place, and I'm sitting on this uncomfortable bench in a suit."
Of course I watch it. People have to realize Bill is a comedian. He's funny. I don't take him seriously. Neither do I get offended. He'll tell you the same thing. Just laugh and move on. Don't make a damn federal case out of it.
![Gunna - one of wun [Official Video]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/w_JtBYqMgk8/mqdefault.jpg)
My right ear enjoyed this -.-
+IgotDis14 I had my headphones on my right ear and the left side was pushed to side if someone called me. Didn't notice the audiotrack was fucked up :D
You wouldve been shocked if your headphones were the other way around :D
IgotDis14 Yeah :D though that has happened multiple times already :D
Omg... i thought my earbuds broke, i was legit sad moving it around trying to fix it
+Royal Erick lol..me too
One of my best friends in high school got me high for my first time when I was 17 years old. He was the biggest stoner I ever knew. He and I both loved chasing women and doing all kinds of crazy stuff together. That was a long time ago. He's a priest now.
May God have mercy on his soul.
The money is good as a priest
Miguel Tigre the sex is good as a priest
@@philorgneopolotin8762 LMAOOOO
Now he's chasing little boys
i would only go to church if it was Bill Burr laying down the truth as he does in his material
+Thank You
Bill would be very entertaining but if sam kinison was still here I'd be in the front pew every Sunday for that special preaching that he could only deliver
Thank You everytime he speaks, its church
I'd pay big money to see him rant
@@HeyDude93gt The front pew? You think you couldn't hear him in the back? Ha!
Or Richard Burton in Night Of The Iguana 🙂
ruclips.net/video/od9U762vvpM/видео.html
I love Bill Burr’s woman voice. Never fails to make me laugh!
He's the King of Common Sense!
+Jorge Padilla Evidently so...
Steve so I'm guessing you have followed the eat a burger while you jerk off advice while singing "all hail the king". 😁😁
@@nyakwarObat Like they say, stay close to whatever makes you feel glad to be alive and one man's spectacle is another man's boredom.
That goes to George Carlin
@@jaimelannister1797 George is the 'Father of common sense"!
" You're just some guy! Your name is Jerry, you play soccer, you got your ass kicked in gym class, and now you're doing this." Hahaha. Awesome.
In my head it would have been even funnier if he went, "Your name is Jim, you sold monkeys, you collected roadkill as a kid and now you're doing this" (first time I watched this was right after I learned about Jonestown, a cautionary tale to not follow "just some guy" if there ever was one).
I fucking lose it every time he does that voice. 0:06
his wife's voice
druii2 sameee!
Every time!! Lol 😂😂
yeayea that voice is fuckin hilarious hahhahahah :D
druii2 ssssthufff
he went carlin on em.. hahaha!! I love this dude
I recon second to George but then George was as much philosopher as comedian.
George would have loved to see this
No, he didn't. Carlin was just flat out ignorant and insulted people. Bill just addressed one aspect he didn't like.
Carlin was all BS and no jokes. Only BS
@@slev7n. STFU
"I talk to telemarketers, I'm buying the shit." Hilarious!
I spent 3 minutes checking if my left speaker works thanks to this video.. ;d
same here, I was pretty scared...
+Wiktor Paluch
LOL really!
I thought my left headphone speaker died. Thanks lol :D
+Wiktor Paluch I've been using only the left side of my headphones, thought the video had no audio till I saw this comment.
Thanks man.
+Wiktor Paluch I can't believe I did the exact same thing...
i flipped cause im using headphones and my last 3 have quit in one ear and if this pair did aswell...
Yes, the answer to PEACE ON EARTH: "Rub one out." !! LOL!
As a former Baptist preacher I find this very funny…I am indeed “just a guy”. It scares the shit out of me how so many churchgoers would have just gobbled up anything I said like it was the gospel truth (couldn’t resist!). I was deliberate not to abuse the authority voluntarily bestowed upon me by the people and sought to tell the truth about myself before claiming to know anything about God.
Ironically, having that kind of self awareness makes you uniquely qualified
@Days of Noah no haha, I’m not sure what you mean by that. No our church ended up closing. All this COVID stuff has been very hard on small churches, small businesses, small anything, at it was a small church of mostly seniors to begin with. No hard feelings about it all, ended on a note of unity with each other, difficult but no resentment. Learned a lot even in that.
@@roadkillanonymous4807
Thats what happens when the business' income depend solely on donations from middle class people
And church is a business selling dreams and promises not backed up by evidence.
Most sermons are paraphrasing (and that's generous), where they quote one or two versus, then start saying whatever they want
@@gwho exactly, and what's the point in that?
"His name's Jerry, he plays soccer, he used to get his ass kicked in gym class...and now he's doin this!"
Gold.
He is a comedian.
Sorry, felt the need to point that out going on some of the comments below.
Veggie Gamer all fucking butthurt
Veggie Gamer granted, that's thd same as a jester?Aka a fool. Not to be taken seriously.
The point of comedy is making fun of something that may be serious outside the comedy. If some comadian is making good points they are good points. In this case Bill is right and we all know that. Let people have their arguments. Pointing out Bill as a comedian is irrelevant in this case.
Comedy is a great tool for making getting a message across, just like sarcasm, insulting someone/something etc. All of those are also very easy to use, and easily accepted.
What I'm trying to say is: no, Bill didn't make good points or strong intellectual arguments. He was entertaining, he did it to make the people laugh, not to push an anti-religious agenda or whatever. So it in fact is relevant to point out he's a comedian.
Didn't you ever come across a piece of comedy you disagreed with? Was it not funny and made sense regardless?
+ardvark84 Yes but he's strictly comedy... do you really think he has all these issues about marriage while he's wearing a wedding ring? If you don't know anything about him personally then you shouldn't be making assumptions. It's your belief that he's trying to teach people, not fact. It's fact that they are jokes to make people laugh. He even had to throw in the disclaimer of him believing in God, just to shut morons like you up. And you still didn't get it.
This is the kind of standup that I point a lot of my religious friends to when they ask why I am irreligious. It's casual and funny, while being fairly well put.
BIll's impression of Nia makes her sound like Stewart's Mom from Mad TV. "Stewart! What's Momma say about people that don't go to church?"
... I don’t wanna say...
“Shut the fuck up you don’t talk like that.” classic 😂
I grew up in a Bible thumping part of Texas, and this routine expresses exactly how I've felt since high school. Thank you.
“I’m sitting in church, this guy’s named fucking cliff”
I have no idea why that was so funny to me
0:40 That "aaah" was so angelic
i LOVE when he puts on the high voice.
This guy is hilarious as hell. My buddy taped his whole stand-up performance (from which this clip is taken from) and loved it. He was on The Dave Chapelle Show if I'm not mistaken. Thanks for posting.
Surprised that not everyone is pouring hatred at this piece. Makes me glad that there r still sensible folks out here.
i like him and we need more people like him. he's exactly right but never wrong
I just cried laughing, this dude is so funny.
This guy's got to be the funniest living comic.
Just Love His Comedy...
"Keeping it Mad Fkn Real w , Bill Fkn Burr , Rock On , Cuz..."
✌😎🏆🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟
I love church and my preacher. And this shit had both of us laughing or ass off
IF I could do stand up... this is the type of material I would share! Love this comedian.
I'm a Christian and I approve of this message. xD
Netflix has his all three of his concerts, from 2008, 2010, and 2012 on their streaming service. Bill Burr is just hilarious.
I love Bill Burr. The way he tears down all of these so called institutions is priceless.
Fucking A.
Being a Christian, I agree with this man 100%.
you're not a Christian. if you were, you'd have sold everything you got, given the money to the poor, and followed Jesus. instead, here you are, watching youtube videos on the internets. www costs money.
@@criztu k
@Forrest Robles Sell everything you have and give to the poor and you will have treasure in heavens. then come, follow me - Matthew 19:21
Anyone who has possessions is not a Christian
@@criztu actually that verse is meant to indicate how you should put God above everything. It’s not to be taken literally. Although some people are called by God to sell all their possessions.
@@criztu Wouldn't it be more responsible to build as much money as possible and give money to the poor only when you die? Since use your money to make more money.
Pastor Cliff 😂😂😂😂 Man joe he ain't lying this is hilarious
Preach Brother preach... Now YOU I'll listen to... 😂👍👐
"You eat a cheeseburger, thats good for your muscles."
Enough american youtube for today
Well, he’s not completely wrong
A single cheeseburger isn't bad, 5 of them may be though.
@@ericcimic Who the fuck eats 5 at once?
@@BLZ231 Me. I get 4 mcdoubles (granted it's not 5, but close enough)
A cheeseburger is good for your muscles lol. Too many cheeseburgers isn’t even bad for your muscles, it’s bad for your digestive system and can get you fat. Obviously bad for your health but in context it’s great for gains
I laughed my ass off through the whole thing. Bill Burr is great
We are on the same page Bill. This is less comedy skit and more sermon in itself. Amen brother Bill, amen.
This guy is sooooo funny thanks for posting!!!
"I'm in a great space mentally" loooool
At this point, I'm rethinking my whole religious beliefs ngl!
Haven't laughed that hard in a while!
My right ear really enjoyed that video!
As great as his female voice is, I still love it when he raises his voice and it cracks slightly. I know it’s just his normal voice but it adds so much to the comedy.
Bill Burr, at least 8 years ahead of his time. Makes great points.
My left ear enjoyed this video very much.
My right ear loves this video!
I'm a Christian, and I laughed. Bill Burr is outrageous and simply hilarious.
It sucks when only your left earbud works so you have to go to the comments and look for "right ear" comments
One of the greatest to ever do it!
His impression of Nia asking him questions is tremendous 😂
That's not Nia, too early I think.
"so i can get my sundays back!!!"
Hahahahahhahah
Agreed, I'm a Christian and find this guy funny and refreshing.
Bill is Killin.
its just some guy, love this guy hands down the best stand up
i love his woman impressions
He sounds like Jim Gaffigan when he uses that high pitch voice~
perfect execution and writing. loved this
i respect you not only for your accuracy, but for your humor and Eddy's brother
My right ear enjoyed this.
Bill Burr is the best....
Haha awesome. What a great comic.
My right ear loved this video.
I didn't even know about this guy ten minutes ago and I haven't stopped laughing since, ahahahahaha!!
well, he's 500 years too late, but he finally seemed to understand the whole point of the protestant reformation. hooray. :)
I love this
I really wish Bill Burr got to give a nationwide public service announcement once a week. I would not miss a single one.
Say what we say when we say it. Say it again and you can go home to your toys - bill
my right ear ?
Chvideo12 Central finally someone mentions it
I'm glad I'm not the only one
I can't never unsee that, thanks bill
Bill’s voicing girls always got me 😂😂😂😂
My mom is a Hindu and she makes me follow her special diet as well. I am not allowed to eat meat on Thursdays and Saturdays, but I get so pissed off because the opportunity to eat meat is higher during those days than Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. Slowly I started breaking those rules and she eventually gave up on enforcing those rules, but follows them herself. Guess what, I'm still here and I feel fine. Religion is ridiculous sometimes. They designed this convoluted system to help people delude themselves and feel better about themselves for doing things you should for the sake of humanity and not for some imaginary God.
+BRBallin1
Yeah and then they eat fish and pretend fish isn't meat xD (at least in the religion I was groiwng up with - which i never liked). I mean not eating so much meat is a good idea (those animal factories make one cry), but let's be real about it. Instead: Let's not buy stuff from companies like nestlé, CocaCola and other inhuman sources ... I say to myself.
Bingo
I also come from a Hindu family and our day to not eat meat was on Tuesday. I quit following that rule years ago and I've been fine. Who makes these rules up anyway?
Hyrarchie kinda does : >
Well how do you know God is imaginary, prove it. Also to say that you should do something for humanity can only be true if there is some objective moral law that you should do that, otherwise you are not obligated to do anything. But if there is an objective moral law then it is only binding and existing if God exists.
Bill makes my anger problems feel relatable. Like I'm not the only psycho that's still and good person and doesn't really want to hurt anybody but god damn I spend a lot of time fantasizing about it. Like you Tucker. You're on my "Falling Down" list.
If you were a better person, you might appreciate what Tucker is trying to tell you.
Yyyyeeeessss! Thank you!
Awesome ❗️❗️❗️❗️❗️
The stuff every smart person thinks about when their 8 but never say
# Low key TBH. Love the irony
When you stop asking questions you stop growing...
Nailed it!
I only came to the comments to read the "my right ear enjoyed this" comment. Wasn't disappointed
My right ear enjoyed this the most.
If you think listening to the preacher is hard to believe, you ought to try reading the book he's talking about.
I’ve read Marvel comics that seemed more believable.
This guy is so "Massachusetts"
Yes! What does that mean?
Fr
I agree
Gave my right ear a good laugh
Acceptance is the first step thanks for sharing
My right ear found this hilarious. My left ear was like "what's so funny bro?". Then my right ear had to explain it, and it wasn't funny because the jokes were explained.
Why did your right ear explain the joke? What it only had to do is repeat it
my left ear is thirsty
Best analogy in the world in the world. Thank you
Lmao got to love him
i have no problem with religious people unless they get mad at me for not believing what they believe. or they start banging on my door on a Saturday giving away "jesus loves you cards".
as George carlin says "keep thy religion to thy self"
Religion is the biggest scam going! It's a joke!
thank you. I realized now that my speakers are both on left side only. :D
talkn in old english "shut the fuk up u dont talk like that" LOL LOL str8 classic
my right ear enjoyed this
I think all the rest of us should walk around naked from 10:00 to noon every Sunday. People in church would just be sitting there going "Dang. There's naked people all over the place, and I'm sitting on this uncomfortable bench in a suit."
So, how did your arrest for indecent exposure go?
@@yellowblanka6058 The invisible sky man gets so angry when people are naked. Lots of shit makes him angry, but mostly things that don't hurt anyone.
Oh man, he's good. Love that stuff.
This bit was RIGHT on spot
It's all made up! Lol. So true.
If you read this you're awesome, I hope you have a great day
Thanks! Your awesome too!
No u
I read your comment, and orgasmed, thank you
Ew fuck off
Of course I watch it. People have to realize Bill is a comedian. He's funny. I don't take him seriously. Neither do I get offended. He'll tell you the same thing. Just laugh and move on. Don't make a damn federal case out of it.
You really have to strangle that goose really hard to talk to a telemarketers after you rub one out..
This man has been on the show for more than a decade !