I've worked at Sephora for 12 years as a skincare specialist and when I first started my job I mostly dealt with women in their 30's and up looking for luxury skincare. Now I can't even tell you how many teens come in looking for Drunk Elephant and Glow Recipe products that are NOT meant for their skin but they see it on TikTok and they want it. But it's not just that. They have no respect, they squirt products out all over the place and stand there giggling and when they see me they don't even act like they did anything wrong it's just left for me to clean it up. The testers they damage have to be thrown away and we have to open a new product to make a tester. That cuts into our bottom line and it also takes away products on the shelf from people who want to buy them. I believe Sephora should require parents to be in the store with anyone who is underage.
I am in Sarasota, Florida which is an upscale tourist town. I shop Sephora at UTC, which is an upscale mall. Several years ago the Sephora there was clean and neat. It is now somewhat disgusting with dirty testers, products in wrong places etc. Ulta is cleaner but I'm starting to notice a decline there too. Not sure who is to blame but the people shopping now are total pigs.
I know stores require certain sale goals but I couldn’t imagine making selling of thousands of dollars and none of it going to me but instead the already billionaire owners of the company and just getting regular minimum wage
People are not upset over tweens in Sephora. They are upset over their *conduct* . And that's squarely on the adults not raising and disciplining their children.
I think some adults are also upset that there are kids in Sephora buying things they shouldn't or don't need. But there might be some jealously thrown in the mix too from what I'm seeing. However, the conduct is the huge issue. I wanna go to Sephora but I'm scared if the testers are even clean to try >
Millenial here: my first makeup experience was at Sephora when I was maybe 12. I was allowed to buy a few minimal products - and I got and eyeshadow, blush, and a concealer. To this day I remember which ones - I worshipped Urban Decay. I understood they were expensive and it was an absolute treat for my aunt to purchase them for me, and I cherished them for years up through high school. Why are these kids treating nice things like garbage? Thats what's crazy to me. There's a lack of respect.
They get their first IPad when they are 1 year old - personal iPad. I’m 30 and still don’t have one. I mean if kids grow up with an iPad which is so expensive even to this very day, iPad is a luxury!! Period! But kids treat it like water. I mean we treasured those ring candies more than they treasure iPad or other expensive things. And every year they want an upgrade and get it. It doesn’t stop. Parents don’t wanna deal with their kids one bit and and think let’s keep them quite through iPad and giving them what they want. People used to use pacifiers before but now pacifiers was supposedly “so bad” but iPads are the new pacifiers!
Elder Millennial here, where I grew up no tweens were shopping at Sephora. IMO- Social media is ruining childhood for these kids. Tweens no longer go through an awkward phase, they just jump straight to trying to be an Instagram baddie. It's sad.
I appreciate your alternative perspective. This still boils down to parenting. Parents need to know what social media their kids are consuming. Parents need to teach kids how to behave in public. Parents need to teach kids the consequences of their actions. Parents need to be responsible for their kids and know when their kids are ready for independent shopping. You should not be a parent if you are not an involved parent.
12 year olds can't drive. This is on the parents who should be supervising their children. I am 54, and there is no reason a parent should be allowing their kids in a store to destroy things. No matter what is happening in society. My daughter stayed by my side in that store until she was older. The parents bear most, if not all, the responsibility here. It is up to parents to discuss what media their kids are consuming and how to make good purchasing decisions. If we were talking about 16 year olds, your arguments would hold. 12 year olds still need guidance to make rational decisions.
Parents don't care . Either they were dropped off , or parents want a few minutes to shop without being asked if they can buy something a million times . . Not an excuse , but just an observation
I live near a big city and work in a big city and honestly there are no malls in "the city ". They are all in the suburbs and the stores are you know standalone locations in a shopping area. These aren't the places that are having issues I don't think. It is the suburban malls and the suburban Outdoor lifestyle centers that are seeing these issues. Also I think kids in the city no better. I think it is the suburban kids who are entitled and just think that they have to have everything and nothing applies to them
I was dropped off at malls when I was 12 and never would have destroyed property. That didn’t used to happen often and if it did, the manager would call security. We were scared of consequences, getting in trouble, having authorities or our parents called etc…. Even if an adult had just said “if you don’t stop, we will have to call security”, that would have been more than enough to get me to stop. Kids need to learn to navigate independently and malls are a perfect, relatively safe, controlled place to do that in the tween stage. Supervising them until they are 16 is helicopter parenting and will actually stunt their development. A lot of kids go off to college by the time they’re 17 or 18 so there has to be a stage they learn to be “on their own.” I think the problem lies more with the fact that the difference today, is that no rules are enforced and nobody says anything when they see these kid acting up. For fear of being filmed or accused of bullying children or having parents complain about how their kids were treated? I’m sure they don’t think it’s worth the risk. It’s sad but it takes a society, not just parents to reinforce to kids how they’re expected to behave and we no longer have that. Even in schools, teachers are afraid to say the wrong thing or have their words twisted so the easier thing to do is nothing. And then the kids learn that when they’re parents told them they’d get in trouble for acting up, that was kind of a lie. It’s not fair to lay this entirely on parents, this is an uphill battle.
I agree. I am in my forties and have a 14 year old and a 9 year old. I would never let my kids do what some children have done. There is a lack of parental guidance and involvement. Although the city I live has an issue with 12-14 year olds stealing cars and shooting each other. It is sad what is happening in our society.
I think what’s more shocking though is the attitude and sense of entitlement these kids have, destroying testers, ruining stores and showing no regards for the employees. I’d have been terrified of getting into trouble for destroying public property (from the adults working in the store, authorities, my parents etc…) but there is a lack of any consequences now for kids and they genuinely have no fear. There was a time rules were actually enforced, parents would be called or at the very least, being somewhat shamed and embarrassed for behaving badly. Now they can walk out after destroying property and ruining people’s shopping experience with nobody saying a word. By 10-12, somebody somewhere should have taught them how to behave in a public space and part of that learning process is consequences when you don’t. I have kids and it takes a village. Parents, schools, coaches, adults in the community all play a part in your kid learning these lessons but if everyone is too scared to say or do anything (which is part of what’s happening, because people are scared of their words being twisted or being filmed) this is what results. It’s an uphill battle for parents when they are the only ones trying to teach this and not getting reinforcement:
I agree with a lot of what you’ve said. The consequences are one HUGE missing piece. If Sephora workers begin to recognize a tween acting out of line with appropriate behavior, they should say “you’ll be charged for anything you destroy” or “you’ll need to leave and come back when you can act right.” But that also takes Sephora operations backing that up with policies around “you break it you buy it”-including testers and displays, which means assigning dollar amounts and even barcodes or POS buttons to ring up such a transaction. Additionally, offering workers decision-trees on calling center security vs local law enforcement based on whatever general security policy they uphold. It costs to participate in society. Sometimes it costs money, but all the time it costs effort and consideration of others. It is absolutely unreasonable to expect that children will learn this without practice. Parents can support their children in practicing by being nearby without hovering (e.g. “I’ll drive you and your friends to the shopping center and read a book in the car” or “I need to get something from Sephora-I know you love the store so why don’t you call a friend and you two can look around while I get what I need.”) The reality is, tweens have a right to exist in the world. They even have a right to act up-but they deserve to have consequences. They deserve that chance to learn and improve. They deserve better than people just bashing all youth instead of calmly and firmly telling them to their face to shape up or ship out. We want to compare them to ourselves, but all of us adults who know how to act in a store have been practicing for years. (Yes, there are also tons of adults who act just this same way, and that’s frequently just as multifaceted an issue). They just need practice, and you’re right-it takes the whole community to provide that for them (and it’s our responsibility to do so if we value the trajectory of our society).
I have so many thoughts on this topic. I have teens, girls and boys, between the ages of 13-17. I agree with you to an extent, mostly about the effects social media have on children and that covid lockdowns had an effect on development. BUT I am the parent and it is my job (and honor) to raise my kids right despite covid lockdowns, social media or any other worldly issue. Being a parent means putting in A LOT of effort. I keep up on what my kids watch on social media. I keep up with my kids in general, lots of communication. If my teens want something ridiculous like retinol or a $400 pair of Nike’s I say no, but they are free to earn the money for an appropriate item. They all have skin care, but it’s what is right for them. I find plenty of stuff for my teens to do with their friends. They go bowling, play airsoft, go fishing, Chuck E Cheese, Urban air, the movies etc. Those things do cost money, but most of the time they hang out, watch football, play video games, eat pizza and talk. I don’t think anyone else is responsible for my kid’s behavior besides them and myself as an example and parent. If my kids display inappropriate behavior there are consequences for their actions. It is my job to teach them right and wrong, responsibility, respect, and the rewards and consequences of their actions. Maybe I sound strict, but honestly I’m not because I rarely have to be. My kids are growing into fine humans. It is not the employees of Sephora’s job to babysit kids. I think they should be able to ask people to leave if they can’t behave. Maybe I’m old school, but a child’s growth and development is the responsibility of the parent.
@@Banniegirl Thanks! I’m not always a big commenter because it can get argumentative at times and I try to avoid that, but I live in a world of teens right now 😂 so I have a lot of thoughts on the subject.
This is such a thoughtful comment, and I appreciate that your care about your kid's development and take responsibility for it. So many people don't, and why I understand Kelly's comments I think parents caring about how their kids act in public and being vested in them being better people is so important here.
I also think people are overlooking the changes in the school system which to me is very strange that this has not been discussed. Funding for extra curricular and team building activities have been cut significantly and for whatever is left there is something losing the kids interest, likely a combination of the things mentioned here. When I was in high school I was so busy with band I rarely had time for the mall, much less trashing or even thinking about Sephora! I was in a band that had over 300 of us and today that same band has less than half of that. Kids are also forced to just hang out at the gym causing chaos there as well. Many people are also complaining about that. But there are barely any after school activities anymore and they kept us all busy and out of trouble. I’m not an educator but I have many in my family and follow what’s happening to the school system and I can bet you the only dollars are going to sports and not everyone can play sports. We had all types of pre-professional clubs, drama, choir etc. So I think the skill building, socializing, and productive activities that were available to previous generations is being chipped away and the kids are not the blame for that, these school districts have people who are more worried about their careers and politics and not the enrichment of these youngsters. I actually feel sorry for them and I’m grateful I was a teenager when we had more productive and regenerative activities to participate in…it’s such a shame 😢
Yes! This! I have 3 kids, 21, 17 and 14. I’ve witnessed major shifts with the way we do life, the way kids are taught and what is available to them. Teachers do not stick around either. Every 6 months to every school year extra curricular teachers are shifted around.
@@MamaW30 That’s interesting! I can see how that’s a problem, no way to build relationships with them. I mean my band director was like my second father!
As someone who worked for Sephora until last month I can assure they are pestering everywhere! You see this 10-13 yo groups of girls coming in with such a terrible attitude touching and ruining so many products they shouldn't even be knowing what they are. I had a 12 yo girl asking me for retinol and I couldn't keep myself from gasping. It's unbelievable how, in the first place, brands such as Charlotte Tilbury or Drunk Elephant are marketing via social their products towards such a young audience, when the product clearly isn't intended for them. We've seen tons of girls piling up in front of CT' stand to try all of her products, ruining them and then going out like it's no big deal. They shouldn't even care about her products, those are for 25+ people! Also, idk how it works in other countries, but in Italy it's mandatory to ask to a shop assistant to get your desired product if it's stored in drawers; well, this lovely bunch of pre-teens and teenagers they just open drawers themselves and make a huge mess both cos they have no clue the order they're stored in and they don't bloody care about damaging the rest. Another problem is that by doing so there are so many more products that get stolen since they simply take it out of boxes (where the anti theft tag is) and put them in the bag. I really do hope Sephora will take some action against it putting an age limit, accompanied by an adult, some sort of "fine" if get caught while ruining the item. On a final note, they are so freaking obnoxious, uneducated and unapologetic that sometimes you really feel like wanting to throw the out of the shop.
i think some other places in europe are also like that; having to ask a store assistant to get a product for you if it’s not immediately on the shelf. we do that as well where i live, south africa. because we learn to have respect for spaces and items and places of business.
@@laur83 I only shopped at Sephora in Paris, Prague and various Cities in Germany, because we don't have Sephora in Austria, and it is the norm to ask a shop assistant for a product that is not on the shelf. Not only Sephora, but also in other stores, is the same. The main problem in German Sephora is that customers tend to steal their testers, which is for other customers absolutely annoying. The last time I was in Sephora, was in Paris last October, and I haven't seen tweens running wild there yet. Let's see, how it will be when I'll be in Hamburg in April. I hope that this madness will die down.
I'm in Canada and it's the same. I think it's actually like that everywhere, it's just common sense...If it's not on the shelf it is not for you to dig in for it. There is employees for that reason. Here the drawers are actually locked with a key, I don't know if it's like that everywhere since people talk about kids just willingly opening up drawers by themselves. I've worded in a Canadian Pharmacy when I was younger and the drawers weren't all locked but you didn't see people just opening them. Teens now are so intitled it's actually frustrating and embarrassing to watch. I'm only 26 years old and if I looked at myself just 10 years ago when I was 16, never in a million years would I've been comfortable and unashamed of doing the kind of things they are doing now...I know they aren't all like that but I have seen enough to be discouraged...
@@MrsDaedalus_ i’ve also shopped sephora in paris; one look from those shop assistants and those kids would be running out 😂 ugh, imagine people stealing testers. i get you want nice things, but that’s just gross tbh. i hope this trend of kids being disrespectful in stores doesn’t spread to other countries.
Sounds like the stores are going to have to put locks on the drawers and each worker has a key, so only the samples can be touched, not the products to purchase...and maybe a security guard or 2 to kick them out of the shop if they're just messing up the products!!
One little girl wanted the red ordinary serum and I told the mom to be careful and do a patch test so you don’t get burns or irritation (my manager had a huge burn from it but I didn’t say that to the customer) and the mom looked at her kid and said your not getting that. And the girl gave me the dirtiest look you can imagine 🤣
OMG I know the product you're talking about. It was great for clearing my skin, but you definitely do not want to use it lightly! I would only allow my child to use it with my supervision and only if they had acne and would have seen an actual benefit.
As a once child, now skincare loving millennial who got burned from acne creams in the early 2000s because my mother decided NOT to ask anyone about possible reactions... Thank you. Save her from looking like I did.
stores like justice don’t exist anymore for tween girls. so when they go shop for clothes in gap or forever 21 they’re not gonna be drawn to traditional tween clothes, but what they see on the internet
My mall still has a Claire’s but that’s not what’s trendy online so even if they have a space they can be bullied if they use those things while other kids are influenced to grow up fast online
It is totally the parents. No kid that age needs social media accounts, and they need parents not hang out friends. There is no reason these kids should even want to go to a Sephora.
exactly. "my daughter is my best friend!!" NO SHE ISN'T and she shouldn't be. be a PARENT. you can have a friend-LY relationship, but you are a PARENT first and foremost and I'm so over the "I'm not a regular mom, I'm a cool mom" bs. If I behaved the way I see so many teens behave now,, I'd never be seen on earth again. parents need to start being parents and stop trying to betheir kid's friend.
literally. if i was a kid asking my mom for all this $$$ skincare she’d have just laughed at me and kept walking. now, kids are definitely gonna need something to cleanse their skin, moisturise and protect them from the sun, but if actives aren’t prescribed or directed by a doc or derm, they really shouldn’t be using them. and good skincare can be bought at the drugstore.
100% agreed, maybe this is me being raised in a working class family who would've never blown 80 euros on a moisturiser, but this all seems like such upper-middle class nonsense to me. my parents would never in a million years have given me the money to buy some Glow Recipe or LET ALONE Drunk Elephant shit, the concept of spending so much money on... skincare...? for an 11 year old would've (rightfully) seemed absurd to them. some Claire's once in a while or whatever, as a treat. i think my father would've actually laughed if i asked for the money to buy Sephora prices and both my parents worked (literal 12 hour shifts) so this "you don't understand, we don't have TIME to parent, i need the iPad :(" excuses are nonsense. parent your damn kids
I agree that the problem is multi-faceted, but the big problem is the lack of respect. At that age, I would never have been destroying displays and samples. And, the disregard of authority, such as Sephora employees and adult customers. So, I feel the lack of respect issue does rest on the parents. Too many parents want to be "friends" with their kids, rather than being parents.
Yes I agree with you about the teens being programmed to want to buy the stuff, but the horrendous behavior that these kids are exhibiting is unacceptable!! Sephora needs to bring back age restrictions. Anyone who is behaving badly needs to be kicked out of the store.
I agree that tweens and teens should be able to shop where they want to but the mess they're making is unacceptable and can't be defended in my book. I don't believe it's just "kids being kids". This new generation is out of control and I know I sound like an old lady saying that. But I'm Gen X and I have Millenial siblings and we at least had respect for the places we hung out at. Of course there were always outliers but for the most part, you didn't see this rampant disregard for property and the theft is also out of control too.
You do sound like a grandma, plenty of kids in Sephora are respectful actually. I've also seen people in their 30's and 40's abusing testers and causing mayhem in crowded stores. Honestly this is a problem that could be fixed with better staffing and paying staff enough to care.
it’s kids being kids with their parents and teachers not disciplining them. i definitely remember my friends and i having fun in stores as kids but we were never disrespectful like that. shows entitlement.
I have bad for news for you, and the bad news is that your generation does not have respect for the places they hang out at. As someone who worked in retail for years, I assure you that Gen Xers and boomers destroyed the store I worked at every single day. This is a bad behavior that every generation exhibits, but for some reason people feel particularly at liberty to complain about it when young people do it.
I really appreciate you being considerate and nuanced and not "get off my lawn (Sephora)" like a lot of the discourse I've seen. Yes, they should use age appropriate products and be respectful, but also, I cannot imagine being 10-14 in this era
Seriously I just have so much empathy for them. Being a teen was so hard and i didn’t have half of the streams of influence they’re presented with at every turn.
People have no shame anymore. I've worked in retail since age 17 and things were more strict. Parents would accompany kids to the store, and actually watch their behavior, to make sure their kids behaved well and didn't bother others. Now parents drop off kids, or the parent is in one section of the store while their kids are destroying the other side. Or parents are too focused on their cell phones and ignore what's happening around them. If an employee says anything to the kids about their bad behavior, the parent turns into a KAREN, and blames the store or the employee for chastising their kid! Nobody wants to lose their job over a freaking 10 year old messing up a tester unit! There's NO ACCOUNTABILITY. PERIOD! From the parents to the kids to social media. NO ACCOUNTABILITY. Nobody wants to be told NO, or STOP or anything else that they feel ENTITLED to having. Like i said at the beginning, there's NO SHAME. As a society we have failed our youth by removing Discipline. Now, we have consequences.
I’m Gen Z and I have Gen Alpha cousins who I have had to parent when shopping. Parents do not seem to care about watching their kids anymore, especially not tweens. I have to remind myself these kids that are acting out at Sephora and Ulta (but I hear and see more bad behavior at Sephora) were kids during Covid. Parents checked out after 2022, they let their kids become chronically online because they felt overwhelmed and didn’t have the attention span to parent. The same poor behavior is happening in school, kids are on their phone in class, sharing too much of their lives online and I do feel that influencers are, in part, to blame. The lack of third places is a part of the problem, but when I was a kid in the late 00’s, I didn’t go to the mall or library, I went to hang out with kids in the neighborhood, went to the movies, went to the park, visited the aquarium and zoo… but everything is more expensive and people don’t expect kids/tweens/teens to hang out unless they’re paying to be there. Lastly, I think parasocial relationships are influencing Gen Alpha to believe that in order to fit in they have to buy their way into social circles, everything is transactional now. Kids think that they have to act and look a certain way which is normal, but how they’re going about it is that as long as they’re paying they don’t care about how they behave. Teen culture isn’t thriving anymore because adults want children to grow up, act and spend like adults.
Where exactly are these kids parents? Or some sort of adult. When I was 13 I was not running rampant through a store by myself. It’s a safety/liability issue. For the kid and for the store. Any store, I don’t care what it is, the parent should at least be present if the kid is under 15 or so. Also, I knew how to act which is something that seems lacking in younger generations. I wasn’t making a mess. I wasn’t getting in the way or being obnoxious. Personally, I think it’s the parents fault. Kids are not learning respect or how to behave in public at all anymore. And parents are just letting tablets raise their children for them. Instead of actually interacting with kids and encouraging them to interact with each other, letting them play and learn and explore in the real world, we are replacing that experience with the internet. Which is not good. They are learning and developing in this soup of social media and media generally and it is going to have serious consequences because the internet is not the same as the real world. And it exists in this soup of advertising and consumption and instant gratification that I think will have serious consequences for younger generations.
at barnes and noble my sister saw a kid (~10) throwing books at people off the 3rd floor (its like an open/balcony kind of layout, basically the 3rd and 2nd floors can "look" into the center of the 1st) and when the employees tried to get the kid out of the store the dad defended the kid saying theyre customers so they have the right to be in the store??? total weird entitlement
Putting a screen in front of your kid at an early age is creating anti -social behavior. They aren't learning how to interact with each other face to face anymore. Having conversations, and learning give and take. Its all about what they can get. Its alarming, what are they going to be like as adults in the real world? Pre teens grabbing things out of someone's hand isn't normal or kids just being kids. Its anti-social , and pathological. I see behavior problems Turning into entitlement and just becoming bad people. I blame the parents, why have children if you don't teach them or spend time with them? Society isn't going to do it for you, its not a teachers role to discipline your kids. If you don't step up and do it, you have only yourself to blame when your kid gets in trouble with the law, etc.
I work in a Sephora at Kohl's, and I think the issue isn't the tweens or the parents, it's just taking the time to teach how to behave in a makeup store. I have had parents with daughters as young as three come in. Most parents are very reactive to their children in a negative way, often saying not to touch or to leave it alone. I'll go up to children who are interested and grab an eyeshadow wand or lip wand or a fragrance wand, and say, "you can touch/smell/play using this," and show them how to treat the products. Then give them warnings about germs and how to sanitize products, and tell them to ask if they don't know. I also have to teach adults this. The number of adults who pump the tester mascara and apply it directly onto their lashes without using a tester wand or uses an eyeliner on their waterline without any precautions is more frustrating than any tween, because they should know better. Sephora is supposed to be a place of learning and experimenting! Our motto is Get. Give. TEACH. Sell. Anyone should be free inside Sephora, as long as someone is willing to teach them about how to do things. Edit: grammar and clarification
Yes! I think you’re so right! Most (kids and even adults) just need some guidance. It really does take a village, so thank you for sharing your knowledge with kids so they can learn! My 12 year old had the best experience with a Sephora at Kohl’s employee. She completed the whole transaction on her own, I was just in the background and the employee was so sweet to her! I think it was a positive experience that taught her important life skills.
I am a millenial (made in 82) and growing up my parents taught me to act respectful as my behavior was a reflection on them, plus they never let me out of their sight (stranger danger!) so if I did something wrong my mom or dad would correct me immediately. And keep in mind my parents were employing gentle parenting techniques before gentle or responsive parenting was a thing. (My mom used to get hit as a kid so she avoided that) so i can't say "oh if I misbehaved they would have paddled me", no if I misbehaved I would be forced to tidy up if I made a mess, apologise to anyone I offended, and walked out- where I would be given a stern talking to abt my conduct and then grounded. So I'm wondering- where are parents nowadays going wrong? Are they just not there to observe and correct their child's behavior or do they not care how their children conduct themselves? Are they not telling their kids what they expect out of them to begin with? I just don't get it!
I'm trying to understand it too. Some people have pointed out that as parents, we can't be stern or others will look at us weird thinking we are abusing them. The gentle parenting movement has gone to an extreme I think were it's all about their feelings disregarding other topics like respect and consequences.
It feels a lot like the 90’s diet culture. Though I grew up in the early 2000’s, that feeling of never being skinny enough still lives in my head. The whole idea of “start these habits young” can easily be translated from diet culture to skincare culture. There will always be an outward appearance trend that younger children latch on to, and unfortunately it happens to be skincare at the moment
about the juvenile/"childish" packaging design and color scheme, I've always thought it was cuz people liked cute things and it makes them feel younger, rather than trying to attract a younger target audience 🤷🏻♀️
Same! I'm 40 but I like the cute packaging, my only gripe is the pastel or white writing on pastel packaging. Even if I wasn't visually impaired I still wouldn't be able to read the packaging. Is it lotion? Shampoo? Face wash? Moisturizer?!!?!
@@rubyannr6898thank you for saying this. In 2015 nobody accused Drunk Elephant of marketing to kids and they were using the same type of packaging as today.
The packaging isn’t the problem whatsoever; it’s social media. When an adult influencer recommends a product, it’s implied that the recommendation is for fellow adults. Children don’t care. They want to emulate the influencer they admire. Furthermore, advertising for kids vs adults was far more simple when commercials were on television because the demographic was more defined. An attempt at advertising to the right demographic is still made on sites like RUclips and TikTok, but it’s not as precise or reliable. It’s more nebulous. For example, doll customization videos are for adults (the materials used can be quite toxic), but because the video is tagged as a “toy” instead of a “craft” by the algorithm, commercials for young kids may play on the video. No one watching the video is interested in buying that thing. A commercial for art supplies would make far more sense. But the algorithm doesn’t quite understand that. Similarly, kids may lie about their age or watch content that’s not intended for them. That’s going to skew what advertisements they receive. It doesn’t help that marketing and advertisements have been encouraging teens and tweens to “grow up” at increasingly earlier ages for the past two decades. Parents need to parent. The screen is not an efficient babysitter.
Hi Kelly! Good morning, thank you for your perspective & well thought-out observations. I fully agree that the internet is the new 3rd place of these young tweens, as a consequence they are exposed to adult influences & it's just wild. To give you another perspective I work in a beauty store (not Sephora or Ulta) where I have 9 year olds coming in ALL THE TIME looking for Drunk Elephant & throwing fits when I attempt to explain to them there's skincare out there for them that's wayyy more appropriate than DE. I actually had a mother thank me for informing her & her daughter about Drunk Elephant, the acids in some of their products not being age appropriate. But it's a double edged sword... why take your child/allow your child to play in skincare that could be potentially damaging to young skin, not even know how much it is when they walk into the store with their child?! I have to say I am also seeing a gross negligence in parenting, it takes 3 seconds to Google something & 5 minutes to understand that isn't appropriate for their child. These parents are allowing their children, unsupervised, the wreck these displays & not instilling in them why that would be wrong?! I just get so frustrated by it all, you're right it's a multi-faceted issue, I understand these kids don't have a 3rd place really but they need to be guidance & protection & they aren't getting either of those things. I know they aren't the only ones to blame, but I see the parents & children on an almost daily basis & it's just awful.
Millennial here who has worked in education for about 12 years - the level of entitlement in kids these days is huge, and it’s across the socio-economic continuum. It’s so much more of a rarity to find polite students who are grateful for any privileges they have or time you spend helping them. I think it’s a mixture of social media and parenting and a huge lack of enforcing rules by parents and schools during the pandemic. It’s a huge problem and I shudder to think of how these kids are going to deal with going to college or getting into the workforce. It’s a big big problem.
I hardly ever get to an actual Sephora store because the closest to me is 2 hours away and I was in shock. There were so many young girls in there being absolutely horrible-squirting products all over and just in the way being rude. Sephora is my happy and go to relax place. So upsetting that I couldn't even look and take my time shopping because I was so aggravated at these kids. I felt so bad for the employees because they were busting their butts trying to clean up and help customers and couldn't keep up. Teens buying wrinkle cream is ridiculous. I didn't even buy anything this time which never happens-just because I could not shop. I understand teen girls love to shop makeup and I'm all for it but have some respect!
I shopped at Sephora when I was 14-18 years old but my mom was always with me. She wanted me to have good quality makeup with my sensitive skin. The mall wasn't in my hometown though so it wasn't a drop off at the mall for the day and be unsupervised. I grew up with early RUclips 2009-2014 with all the makeup hauls so I probably fit into the tween category but it is never okay to be rude and ruin displays!
Same here! I shopped at Sephora as a young teen as well. But I was always with my mom. Buying clinique chubby sticks, Sephora collection concealer and powder foundation, etc. Pining over the Naked/Naked 2 palette that was too expensive to ask my mom for. The most skincare I had at that age (12-16) was the Clinique 3 step set and/or neutrogena acne face washes and the grapefruit scrub.
My daughter is 4. She goes to Ulta with me and Sephora. BUT. I teach her how to respect the makeup! How to respect the people. She also got to pick out essence makeup for her “makeup bag” - play makeup lol. Parents need to be teaching their kids RESPECT. It is a matter of respecting the product, the store and the workers.
For me, it’s not the urge they have to buy the things that gets to me, it’s the behavior that is the problem. When I was their age, I would never have made a mess of testers or bumped into someone and seemingly not cared. I would never have grabbed things out of peoples’ hands as if I were more entitled to the product than them. If I accidentally made a mess in a store (display bars did pop off sometimes) I tried to fix it myself and sought help if I couldn’t. Where I grew up, we didn’t have a ton of places either, so kids hung out in parks or in the area around where they or their friends lived. We’d hang out in some stores too and I guarantee we were a bit disruptive but it was by being loud and blocking isles, extreme cases only would make a mess and just leave it (and I do wonder if modern media is making behavior like that seem more prevalent than it really is). Most kids I knew would at least try to pick up a little, though, because you’d be kicked out if too many people complained or seemed bothered or if employees caught you making a mess and not caring. Yes, there are a lot of reasons playing into why we are seeing this kind of thing now, but there has been a big shift in how kids are treated (by the average parent and society as a whole) and there are consequences to that that we are only just starting to see now.
Completely agree with you. It’s wild to me that anyone would think that ripping something out of someone else’s hands and destroying things that don’t belong to you is “normal tween/teen behaviour.” Absolutely not.
With all of the things we hear abt human trafficking I don't understand how parents can just drop their child off at a store and feel that's OK. When I was a kid we were taught stranger danger and when I was small I was almost taken by a teen boy right in front of my parents at a hometown football game. So it just boggles my mind that some parents are just so blasé!
I agree. It’s so dangerous to leave your child unsupervised. It seems that many parents can’t control or simply aren’t interested in their children which is tremendously sad.
I get what Kelly's trying to say but at the same time when i was a tween ( I'm just a little bit older then Kelly so similar childhood experiences) my friends & i would go into Sephora but we would act like humans. We'd look at makeup, maybe test a perfume, swatch somethings on our hands or arms, & generally behave.
Yeah, this is why I don't get the "death of third-places." We hung out at each other's houses in the 90s and 2000s? If we get some spending money, we'd go to ice cream places or check out makeup in drugstores.
Re the skincare, I highly encourage moms to take their kids to a dermatologist because they are trying to address issues that don’t exist. I have 3 daughters with 3 different routines, and none of them have a skincare routine that costs over $80 - TOTAL, including their prescriptions for acne and eczema… my 14, 14 and 16 year old children don’t get expensive stuff unless they have gift cards and holiday cash.
that’s how it should be. using products and things prescribed to them that work, are affordable and actually meant for kids their age. i’m sad for these new kids thinking they need drunk elephant to be cool or accepted or to look presentable.
@@laur83I was having to explain to my 13 yr old niece that drunk elephant is overpriced and she has very good skin and no need for it. I took her to Ulta and helped her get a Skincare routine that was age appropriate for her as well as her skin type.
I have noticed that kids are really lacking social training. I was a kid/tween/teen once, too, but my parents taught and reinforced appropriate behavior for different situations and I’m not so sure that’s happening anymore. I can’t imagine ever going into a store and making a mess or being loud as a kid. My mom would have had my ass if she had ever heard about me doing something like that. It’s not that they are in the store. I get it, kids hang out at the mall. I used to spend time in Woolworth’s and Sam Goody’s (yes, I really did just age myself here). But if you can’t behave correctly, you probably need to be asked to leave.
While I 90% agree with your thoughts and points here, when it comes to destruction and running wild, I feel that it’s 100% the parents. I raised 2 sons, and while they had a fair amount of freedom when they were in the young teen age, they certainly weren’t rude or destructive. We had a few events in that realm, but they truly learned from them (and the non-corporal punishments they received). But of course it was a different time - and yes, it does take a village. Maybe these stores should start requiring the parents to be present?
I’m 47, and when I was 10-12 I didn’t hang out at the mall, I played outside with friends, had activities like soccer, swimming, and dance, and wasn’t allowed to roam without a parent or my older sister. But now kids aren’t allowed to play outside as much, because awareness of crime has made parents feel like outside isn’t safe. Many parents can’t afford the activities that were so prevalent in the 80s because even local activities are cost prohibitive for many. Kids aren’t allowed to be kids anymore.
Well said! So many after school activities are cost-prohibitive for many families, and it's a huge struggle if you have more than one child if you're a single parent or have a lower-income household.
For skin care back in the day we were influenced by tv commercials like Noxzema, Clean & Clear, Neutrogena, pro active, and Clinique for high end because of Clueless and other movies or celebrities.
When I clicked this video, I wasn't expecting to feel so sad lol. But you are 100% correct. It's actually disturbing. This is why I love watching you Kelly--not only are you relatable, but you hit on topics that need to be talked about within this community. Always informative. Great video as always!
i want to offer a different insight, as someone who just turned 18, started dabbling in makeup 6ish years ago, and used to hang out in sephora with their fiends. i used to get really excited when my mom needed to go to sephora, i could look at cool products that i had seen on youtube, but my mom would never let me touch them. the problem with the ‘third place’ has existed before this sephora teens issue has, and i say this as someone who grew up missing that ‘third place’. for people my age, going to sephora was still an activity, and we would go there and smell perfumes and stuff, but the messes were unheard of at that point. the first time my mom actually took me to sephora to buy stuff for myself (four ish years ago), i was excited and i wanted to buy tons of things; however she told me i could only get three products because i was still pretty young and didn’t need any of that, so i only got concealer, lipgloss, and blush. the problem nowadays is that parents aren’t properly limiting their children. if i had told my mom at that time that i wanted to get a $70 moisturizer and retinol, she would’ve laughed in my face. it’s normal for kids that age to want to experiment with makeup and skincare, especially while being exposed to media regarding it. however it’s not normal for them to be disrespecting employees, not being told ‘no’ by their parents, and spending so much money in order to look like 20+ year old influencers.
As someone who is a parent and is horrified at what she sees happening from other children, I don’t think it’s the problem is where the kids are shopping but the fact that they have been raised to think that they can do whatever they want, and there are no consequences and the parents given to them with alll wants. During the pandemic I could have allowed my kid to sit in front of a screen or teach them life skills and appropriate behavior, I chose the later, learning to cook, clean, balance a check book and being held accountable. Yes there are many other factors at play including companies packaging and the public being afraid to tell parents or children no
As a parent of a 12 yo girl, I believe skin care is important. My mother never showed me how to take care of myself. I do allow my daughter to spend her earned money on good products. I physically take her to the store and don't let her wander by herself. She seeks out the professionals to guide her on what she should use. If she ever made a mess, I wouldn't bring her back. I'm her only way to get there.
I was this child. My mother and her sisters had perfect skin and because we don't share DNA, I had oily, pimply skin. She tried very hard but had no idea what to do with me. She couldn't teach me anything. So she gave me Stridex pads with no instructions. I was in TEARS most days. Turns out? I had to wash my face twice a day. She had no idea and it took me burning my skin on acne creams (the 2000s were a NIGHTMARE) as well as a few other misadventures when I figured this out. Thank you, MAC Counter at Macy's. You have to teach them. You have to teach them they don't need a retinol. You have to teach them how to talk to people in store and get good advice and you have to teach them how to act. I learned super late but I PROMISE you have to learn. Thank you for being truly amazing, you're going to teach her skills she can carry everywhere.
I think destroying stuff or making a mess has nothing to do with having (or not) a space to hang out. Teens nowadays are just entitled (most of them, not all).
Teens have always been entitled, I was bullied for not following late 00s trends and for doing good in class so it wilds me that those rude kids, now in their mid 20s with kids of their own, talking about kids nowadays being disrespectful. 🤔
I'm a bit jaded when it comes to beauty tastemakers after working in the industry for a while, but I ALWAYS return to your videos and agree with your takes. Your thoughtfulness and deliberate opinions (backed by larger societal and cultural moments, frameworks and ideologies) keep me around.
As a speech language pathologist who worked in the schools (taking time off due to burn out), I agree with your point of view. People have no idea the long ranging impact of Covid. Our kids are not prepared for kindergarten, let alone making the semi adult decisions we require of them in middle school. The lack of socialization has tendrils reaching into every aspect of life, and especially with those kids who were 0 to 5 years old during lockdown. Parents were often placing kids in front of an electronic babysitter before and after school, because they were simply trying to make a living and had no other resources to care for their children. Our developmental (therapy) preschools are absolutely overloaded in my district (also due to drug use which increased during the stress of the pandemic). It’s going to be a while before things normalize that said, I do agree that it is so frustrating with the increase of disrespectful behaviors. we have really almost half of a generation of feral children basically. I think we’re going to see a big swing in the next few years of putting down the phones. At least I hope so. Until then, I hope we can be as gracious and forbearing as possible. But I know it’s tough-the beginning of my long comment noted I’m on a break. It’s tough. Thank you Kelly, for your insightful video.
Thank you for this! This whole phenomenon is rooted in the destruction caused by COVID. Our brains are rewired, and not usually for the better. Parents are worried and overworked - mostly just doing their best to hold it together. (This does not excuse the marauding tween hordes. That's just manners, and that starts in infancy.) I'm in a very privileged position in that I can work part-time to be available for my daughter, and even I got a bit neglectful in limiting her screen time. And she's in seventh grade, and has never been to a slumber party! This is not a normal time, and we can't expect people (especially kids) to just go back to the way things were. ETA: thank you so much for everything you do! You are so appreciated. 👏👏👏
3rd place hang outs back in the day are the mall, movies, arcade, skating rink or outdoor skate park, record store, coffee shop, places like Barnes & Noble, regular outdoor park, maybe the beach, and maybe a theme park. Some of these places don’t exist anymore and some do, but teens don’t find these places fun to hang out at anymore. We were influenced by tv and movies like 80’s movies, clueless, and shows like Saved by the bell when they were always at “The Max” lol
Growing up poor and in a rural town with no mall, my makeup choices were limited to the less expensive drugstore brands. I considered Revlon and Max Factor luxury back then. My grandma would give me free-with-purchase makeup from Estee Lauder and Clinique. I didn't know Sephora and Ulta existed until my early 30s. I didn't get into skincare until my mid-20s. Yet last month, I saw a meme saying, "Ruin your middle school daughter's Christmas by not getting her that $85 eye cream." My current favorite is $42, and I want to try a similar one that's half that.
I think you've made some really good points here. I was also a kid who hung out at the mall just in the common area. It kept me out of stores being a menace because my friends and I could sit in the communal places and talk. I also was not interested in being in Ulta or Sephora because it wasn't marketed to me, everything was black and white, maybe with some pink, and it was very clear that it was not for me as a teen vs. the bright, pastel colors of today. I totally agree with you that it doesn't excuse the behavior but it explains the behavior, which gives us a better frame of reference to design an effective solution. I hope someone takes your points into consideration and creates a solution that works for the adults and the kids. I get the frustration, but it's useless to put all the blame on just one party.
Tad bit of topic, but I kinda find it interesting the sociological shift in terms of teen culture. Like, before the 60s, maybe even the 50s with the Rock n' Roll scene, teen culture didn't exist at all. It wasn't really until the 60s did the concept of the teenager and teen culture really started to come to life. And now, we are kinda of regressing backwards regarding teen culture; like a very drastic swing of the pendulum. Just an interesting observation
There was no such thing as a " teenager" until the mid 1950's. In the 40's ,if you were under eighteen, you were considered a child. Legally at 18,you became an adult ,many people married at 18-19 years old back then . My mom married at 19, in the 50's. People were raised to be more mature because they had to be,there was no grace period between 19 and 30. Once you hit 18, you went out and got a job ,it was economically necessary. The 1970's things changed, people became more comfortable, middle-class, and money was plentiful. Teens could stay children longer. And so on, today, its an economic and social issue. We have let teens stay in an infantile state for far longer then necessary. Education has been dumbed down. People in their twenties act like teenagers. Playing video games into their thirties. Adult men addicted to porn and video games, taking no responsibility for their lives. And young women fixated on their looks and sex appeal to get what they want because of no self esteem. Its a sick culture we have now, social media in the last 20years has been the driving force behind this behavior. And not for good. Its toxic and has poisoned young minds into thinking they need things to make them happy. Children have been exposed to things they shouldn't be, and brainwashed into thinking they need things they dont. Parents need to monitor what their kids watch. And not allow social media until their teens are older. 16+ I'm Gen X and I've seen this slowly happen over the last 20years and it just seems to be getting worse. Parents need to take control ,and not shift blame to others because of their lack of interest in their own damn kids.....
Thank you so much for this perspective, Kelly. I think you're right that this is a very complex issue. I have a step-daughter turning 14 this month and so much of this resonates, especially the pressure they experience to look a certain way and project an image; the impact of the pandemic during critical developmental years; the lack of 3rd places and lack of support for the transition from childhood to adulthood; the rushing of maturity; and how dominant culture in general often looks to demonize feminine people. I've also learned from behavioral specialists that tween femmes and girls developmentally can be a bit destructive, and the thought is that they have a lot of built-up rage due to being at the age where they realize all the truths you mentioned, but without social power and with nowhere to direct that rage, so it can be displaced into physically destructive behavior, which is interesting and makes so much sense to me, and reminds me of the MLK quote - "A riot is the language of the unheard." Young people need our empathy, guidance and care, not our vitriol. 💜
Kelly, you just nailed so much of what is really going on here. Thanks so much for addressing this as the complex issue it really is. While kids aged physically during the pandemic, they did not age mentally in the same way that any generation alive ever has. So that 12 year old might look 12 or older but their brains aren't even 12 yet. They spent so much time online including their schooling because there was no alternative for literal years of their lives. And that's not even talking about the trauma of the pandemic they've been through that while the rest of us went through as adults, they went through as children with less abilities to cope. Thank you for really going over how multi-layered the problem is! It's a perfect storm, just like you said.
Gen X here with teens. My kids have plenty of social media exposure and struggled through a pandemic like the rest of us. They would never go to a store and be disrespectful and destructive. I do place some blame on parents. It does seem like a huge sense of entitlement that was learned somewhere.
Good morning Kelly! Love that you’re covering this. It’s honestly wild. I would’ve gotten grounded but my mom would’ve never let me off at a store to run amuck with friends!! I definitely think social media plays a massive role in this. I do feel like parents could police the content their children are consuming
As a mom of a 12 year old girl, I appreciate your thoughts and not being completely down on the kids. I grew up during the mall era, so I do agree that the societal shifts of moving everything digital the last several years is introducing some new parenting challenges that need to be figured out, so I appreciate you offering some grace there. That being said, I’m a little surprised to hear that it’s SO common for these kids to be unsupervised in a store like Sephora. I do bring my girls there, and while I’m not necessarily hovering over them, I don’t leave them completely unsupervised. From my perspective, the messy and disrespectful behavior isn’t new to this generation, but the location has shifted. My mom was a manager of a department store and I work some time in the mall, so I know stuff like this happened 20-30 years ago. This is the responsiblity of parents and other adults to teach and correct. I think to some extent part of the growing up process. In regards to girls using products containing actives and being really splurgy on products, there definitely should be guidance outside of what they are being sold on social media. I’m hopeful I can help my girls to learn to be better consumers through this Sephora phase. My 12 year old was given a gift card and was pretty thoughtful about what she purchased once she realized how the prices add up!
You're right about kids not having a third place. While they should be mannered and supervised (i wasn't allowed to walk around the mall alone until i was 16), they really need spaces to play. I remember at their age what I wanted most for Christmas was a dc superhero girls and ever after high doll. It's okay if kids aren't into dolls, but there's slime, plushies, books, kpop albums, Legos, craft kits, etc. I hung out with my old homeschooled friends who don't have phones with social media, and they're some of the nicest, smartest well mannered teens and tweens I've met in recent years. They were telling me about the puzzles and crafts they were working on, the youngest (11) was showing me her calico critters collection. Parents really just need to surpervise their kids and stop giving young tweens social media access.
Packaging with high a collectibility appeal is honestly so predatory to consumers of ALL ages. When I was a kid, everything expensive looked so minimalist and boring because the product spoke for itself. But, as nostalgia grew, the companies matched their packaging to age in reverse to the consumer. That’s my take on the core of some of this. Great video 🫶🏻!
I’ve worked with children for the past 5 and a half years. We’ve been out of lockdown for 3 years now. I think it’s not that they’re learning how to be in public. I think it’s how the parents are parenting. They’re allowing the children to talk to people however they want and do whatever they want without consequences.
Kelly, Your sense of maturity blows me away. I have been watching your videos since years now and you've always seemed so much more sensible, level headed and conscientious than others at your age.
This is such an excellent video! You addressed what is often overlooked in these larger conversations, nuance. I feel for everyone involved, kids being marketed to, parents not understanding and trying to make their kids happy, and the poor retail workers! I've often noted how different the world looks from when I was a kid/teen, and I think it makes it hard for parents to know how to help their kiddos navigate these new spaces, not saying they shouldn't try though. The Stavros public Library on 5th Ave has an amazing teens only space that fills my heart with joy when I see it full of happy chatty teens!
Mom of a 9 year old here and I just wanted to thank you for your kind consideration of my daughter. Not all moms are allowing there kids to destroy the store or buy harmful products but I did take her to buy a mild face wash and reasonable moisturizer and lip mask. And honestly it was so much fun to go with her and share that experience together. Now with all the horrific controversy and prejudice judgment I’m afraid to bring her with me. I 100% agree with you on things are very different from when I was a kid hanging at the mall. I can’t even let her play in the yard unsupervised. She does have “kids RUclips” but no other social medial and remember kids talk to each other about what is “fun”. I wish for the same understanding and consideration you have shown for all kids. With guidance this is not the hateful thing it is being made into
Wasn’t expecting a video essay from Kelly today, but really appreciate it. I 100% agree with you. A lot of other commenters are going to say where are the parents, but that’s really oversimplifying the issues with tweens/teens these days. And let’s be real, there can’t be that many bad parents can there?? The internet is really an unprecedented extra parent now, one that parents have almost zero oversight on. Then, kids are being ignored and othered by society in every single way possible such as via the bans on unsupervised minors at some malls, the lack of third places, how expensive it is to do anything fun, not being allowed to do certain things by themselves like walking to a local park bc of all the supposed risks (when in reality, “predators” can just as easily be in schools and online anyway). They have no idea what normal looks like as a result, and yet they’re still just kids and this is what kids raised by the internet look like, eg from watching prank videos, doing weird stuff in public that would have been considered embarrassing previously, and seeing what other “cool” kids are doing. Parents can do a lot but a few TikToks and a little messaging with friends can ruin all the best parenting in the world. It starts early too - once you normalize giving a smart device to a kid you can’t go back. The one thing parents can do better here is to not just leave their kids to figure it out alone and just pay more attention to them. What WE can all do is stop being mad at them for behaving exactly the way that the society has turned them into. Complaining about them is only making it worse.
I'm so impressed that you quoted Ray Oldenburg! As a makeup-loving librarian, I now love you even more! Libraries are still vital to their communities, and funding them is incredibly important to build neighborhoods and strengthen bonds between people. My public library is in a city of 115,000 in the northwest suburbs of Chicago. We are definitely a "community center," gathering people from all sorts of backgrounds, age groups, and interests. But tweens and teens are hard to reach--they don't drive, they have a ton of after school activities, and more and more they are being influenced by adults on social media, or adult-influenced teens. My library offers movie nights, finals study sessions with snacks, gaming, crafts, and a myriad of other activities you'd think would appeal to teens, but we see more active retirees and young families in our library than teens. While I believe an age-appropriate interest in makeup is fun and part of growing up (Maybelline Kissing Slicks! Bonne Bell Lip Smackers! Cover Girl Sky Blue eyeshadow!) Sephora really shouldn't be their third place. Our communities are not offering other alternatives that appeal to teens. Let's face it--once tweens and teens get a taste of adult things, it's hard to offer them anything less. Glamour is a tempting lure, so kids are going to hang out at Sephora. They're not clamoring to go to H&R Block or Home Depot. Ultimately blame falls on our communities, because communities are the ones that can come up with solutions. Sephora should come up with a behavior policy and enforce it. It doesn't really matter your age--if you can't behave appropriately, you need to leave for the day. Thank you for this illuminating and thoughtful Makeup Musing!
I've never worked luxury retail but I know that teens always struggle to find space to hang out together. There's a nice public library across the street from my Sephora but you really can't be a loud tween in either space. You make so many good points Kelly, thanks for your perspective!
This is such a refreshing take, I remember 10 years ago when I was 11 I started engaging with the beauty community. I remember begging for a naked 3 palette and a MAC lipstick, like my favourite creators. The rush of excitement when I brought my first MAC lipstick at 13! So much nostalgia!!! Of course it was velvet teddy and I was so pleased with it. Did I need high end makeup at 12/13? No. But it made me feel a part of the community I was engaging with online. They shouldn’t be trashing Sephora or being rude to staff. But instead of kicking them out of the store and not allowing them to have the freedom to try products, we should be welcoming them with more age appropriate products. Make them feel listened to and taken seriously. I feel like part of this issue is misogyny, it’s so easy to hate teenage girls for their interests. Makeup is a form of self expression, they’re not hurting anyone. let them be creative.❤
I work as a Sephora employee and yes we do have groups of 10 year olds who make a mess. I will take the time to remind them to be respectful to the testers when I see it happening. Sephora is a meeting place from different cultures and ages and I do see across the board that many are not keeping tester usage as respect full, some cultures it’s normal to open packages to try them, and I’ve seen adult woman put mascara directly onto their eyes and lip sticks and glosses directly onto their mouths. That being said, When I was a teenager it was made know by the workers at Sephora that I was not welcome in the store. I did not shop there until I interviewed a year ago. And I don’t want other people to feel the same as I did. At the time there were other places for me to go. I completely agree that there are no third places. And while parents do drop their kids off at our doors, we are seen as a safe place for their kids to play. With the unfortunate lack of education with the public of how to use a public tester safely and keep it sanitary, no one has worried of herpes and pink eye. I think everyone needs to treat younger people with patience and grace, and be willing to remind them how to use items even if it’s helpful to a small amount. Which we need to remind everyone even adults. I’m a master esthetician, I try to give them realistic explanations as to why they might not want to use certain products. They are more prone to retinol skin. But I do try to make their experience fun, they can come to me for and questions, and I make it know I can make then samples.
Ive just started ro hear about this and i dont frequent sephora that often so havent noticed the shift but i think your point about 3rd places is extremely valid. I hung out at the mall as a teenage and the movies and a local amusement park that i had a seaaon pass to. But even in my generation a lot kf safety concerns were worried aboit and i wasnt just hanging out around the neighborhood or in parks or whatever very often. Its definitely a mixture of all the factors that you discussed. And, if its becoming an issue, sephora definitely has a right to do something about it, require parents, etc. And the crazy destructive behavior absolutely needs to be corrected but i mean, we all growing up wanted to fit in and wear the right sneakers and jean, i despately wanted the razr cell phone, and begged my parents for certain things. And apprently for some girls right now its expensive skincare thats coveted.
Such an important conversation - I live in a major southern city and the lack of/decreasing access to physical 3rd places is a major issue here. I think an important part of development is for kids/teens to have unstructured time with peers (w/o adult supervision) and agreed that increasingly that is happening online. With the saturation of advertising in online spaces, it’s not surprising to see kids wanting to be in Sephora or to see kids there acting in ways that a more developed brain wouldn’t (even though I’d add that especially post pandemic, we see lots of “bad behavior” from adults in retail spaces too). Thanks for making this video and I hope that Sephora can implement policies to better protect their employees AND we can take steps to protect/expand third space options AND support parents who are navigating the complexity & demands of our modern society with much less public resources/support in the US than in other “developed” countries.
Literally just experienced this last week when I went into Sephora. It’s on the parents to 1. Protect children from social media 2. Teach them how to behave appropriately and 3. Educate them on the things they need vs. what they want. It honestly made me so sad to see little girls growing up way too fast. My little girl is 2 and it will be a long long time before she heads into a Sephora. I didn’t buy my first high end makeup product until I was 18 and it felt like a special moment. I want her to appreciate that moment when she makes her first purchase and not take it for granted.
Omgosh, this video could not have been better timed. I went physically into Sephora during “normal hours” (I usually arrive at like 10 AM when no one else is out lol) for the first time two weeks ago, and practically had a heart attack from the chaos and demographic change. I had no clue this had become a thing. Really appreciated hearing not only your perspective on this - which I thought was welcomingly big picture - but also what other thoughts have been raised.
I grew up in the 80’s definitely during the height of mall culture. My parents never just dropped us off at the mall. They accompanied us and at a certain age probably 13-14 they would let us go hang with our friends but they kept a watchful eye. Were there kids at the mall without parents, of course, but they were usually in the arcade or record stores. Girls were at Claire’s or Contempo Casuals Wet Seal. Stores that were specifically for young people. I agree I don’t see as many or any thing that is specifically for teenagers anymore. There’s not even any movies that are specifically for teenagers anymore that is if you don’t count superhero movies. But I did love your story about your young years going to the drugstore with your coupons and buying lipgloss. I did the same with my mom growing up.
I have seen videos of shoppers/workers saying that the tweens will have a full meltdown if they don't get a product they want. That's on the parents how they raised their kids, they can't say no and they give in. I do agree with your points on how when we grew up, I'm also 30, with Lizzie McGuire, That's So Raven talking about growing up. Tweens don't have stores like Limited Too or Justice to shop at so they go to Sephora. If the kids were just respectful then there wouldn't be this whole issue.
My issue isn't with pre teens and teens buying expensive skin care products. That's between them and their parents (assuming they are getting their money from them). My issue is with children (or people of any age) vandalising stores and damaging products. Which leads to staff having to clean unnecessary mess and customers not being able to see and test products in stores.
What a sensitive treatment of this situation. I agree with everything you said. Thanks for your compassion for these young girls who irritate me so much! You really understand. Thank you.
I think parents have way more to answer for than anything else. I have an 18 yr old and I clearly remember taking my daughter to Sephora at 12/13 and being very intentional with what I let her buy. I’m talking about a lip gloss or light powder. For Christmas one year, I bought her a Sephora brand palette of pinky nudes because I felt it was age appropriate. Never would I have spent money on skin care, much less retinols. Also, pandemic or not, I still have to parent my child. I would not just stand by and let her destroy a store or talk back to staff.
I don’t think there is anything wrong with tweens and teens loving and showing interest in makeup. I can remember loving makeup since I was around 5 y/o because I had an aunt who loved it and I idolized her. BUT loving and showing an interest in and ruining products, disrespecting employees and generally being disruptive are different. They are being brats and have no home training!
Our Sephora in Sarasota, Florida at UTC mall has become disgusting...so sad. Was nice and upscale. Whoever is doing this destruction obviously wasn't raised correctly....no excuses!!! Ulta is becoming messy too.
There was a mom when I was in there completely ignoring her toddlers as they smeared each others faces in bronzer and eyeshadows. I looked at her, pointed it out and she ignored them and it. They looked like chimney sweeps by the time they were done with the bronzers and then worked on destroying the eyeshadows. The abject horror.
You make excellent points about the lack of a third space for teens and tweens. If Sephora were smarter, they would create NEW stores to cater to that demographic. Call it something cool and catchy like “Face” and carry only age appropriate products..
Ugh I was in Sephora right before Christmas and there was a massive line ( understandably ) this group of preteens go running up to the cash register ( cutting everyone ) to ask if they could open some hand sanitizer to see how it smelled . That wasn't the worst part . There MOMS we're the store too , but too busy to notice that their daughters were being obnoxious
Kelly Gooch: Beautiful Person/Video Essayist. This deserved the hbomber guy "a measured response" title. Love seeing this kind of content from the beauty community!!
I don't like kids being marketed to with adult products. They're kids, they should be KIDS! I don't want every place to be child-friendly, I want spaces available that are specifically designed for children, tweens, teens, so us adults could have our own space. Where are the KB Toys? Toys R Us? Limited Too? Delia's? Etc? What happened? Did the world collectively decide that childhood wasn't a thing anymore?!?!
Im an adult now and TikTok and RUclips has me soooo influenced on buying pricey beauty products. Like I don’t even know how to describe it but the products make me happy so I buy it 🥺🥺
Was looking around in Sephora a few days ago. Two girls, looked like 15 years old, just started dancing and singing so loud. One of the girls said, “People are looking at us” the other girl said “If they don’t like it they can leave.” Done!! I’ll start doing all of my in store shopping at Nordstrom. I feel bad for the employees!
The term age appropriate has lost all meaning. Society as a whole used to be concerned about preserving the innocence of children, currently thrusting children into mature situations is the norm and even highly encouraged, "they're going to experience it eventually anyway..." is such a short sited, lazy and toxic mindset. It isn't the children's fault, but parents absolutely can influence and to an extent manage what children are exposed to, when and in what context. It makes all the difference to healthy delevelopment.
I’m 31. I remember in early middle school I was allowed to wear lip gloss and I had a stick concealer for any blemishes. Around 8th grade, I got my first mascara and eyeshadow. I was at a Walgreens with my mom and she let me pick them out. I chose a super pale, shimmery champagne-pink eyeshadow from Covergirl. I was so excited and wore it all around my whole eye every day 😂 I would also dot the mascara on my lash line on purpose and smudge it out as a makeshift eyeliner lol
This was a very interesting perspective that I hadn’t thought about! I always appreciate the time and thought you put into your videos! I haven’t been to a Sephora in forever, but I’ve seen some videos discussing this topic and i think the behavior of these children while in the store is what seems to be the biggest complaint in the videos I’ve seen. Not so much that they are in the store to begin with. And I do think that comes down to the parents that are raising these children!
I was having this discussion the other day! Until I was in college, my experience with adults was very limited, only teachers and parents who will always cater to my age. The TV was on the living room, so my parents had a lot of control of what we watched. So, with a very limited exposure to adult world, the darings we made into them where more fractured. One might wear lipgloss, and that makes her feel grown up because it is a grown move. Of course, not all the advances were good, in my country I think there are a lot more smokers and some kids darings went in that direction. But at the end of the day, the more limited exposure also slowed and eased everyone's entry into adulthood (that awkward teenage phase), as high school is a bit of a beehive. Social shows very specific aspects of adulthood and with that exposure it erases the pace of the transition.
It's social media to for why they want the things but the parents for how they act in sephora. My mom would never let me, first of all buy any of those items with her money, secondly go into any store and behave the way the do, let alone go in by myself. I don't think people would be complaining if these kids had common curiosity or manners, which start at home.
We’re the same age and talking about when we were teens carefully making an informed purchase for makeup spoke so much to me. I remember saving up my college job paychecks to get the Lorac Unzipped palette as a Christmas gift for myself!
“Makeup is the new toy” best sums it up. When I was a teen I thought I had to get Tatcha or Drunk Elephant to get flawless skin because thats what influencers were pushing. The pressure is even worse now on Tiktok I can imagine. Going to a dermatologist helped my skin a lot as a teen. I wish that would be more encouraged than listening to influencers saying you NEED this product when they don’t know anything about dermatology. Also I’m all for teens expressing their creativity with makeup but clearly they’re not mature enough to be in adult spaces like Sephora. Sadly, Euphoria is the only trendy “teen” show I can think of right now. We don’t have dorky girl role models going through their awkward phases anymore.
This is such an intelligent and astute conversation - I’ve never heard about the third space referred to when it comes to teen culture. Thank you for this innovative thought!
As a parent of 11 year olds I blame parents for it being as bad as it is. Kids need to be taught how to respectfully be in these places. Of course kids won’t be perfect.
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I've worked at Sephora for 12 years as a skincare specialist and when I first started my job I mostly dealt with women in their 30's and up looking for luxury skincare. Now I can't even tell you how many teens come in looking for Drunk Elephant and Glow Recipe products that are NOT meant for their skin but they see it on TikTok and they want it. But it's not just that. They have no respect, they squirt products out all over the place and stand there giggling and when they see me they don't even act like they did anything wrong it's just left for me to clean it up. The testers they damage have to be thrown away and we have to open a new product to make a tester. That cuts into our bottom line and it also takes away products on the shelf from people who want to buy them. I believe Sephora should require parents to be in the store with anyone who is underage.
They're going to do so much damage to their skin, it's sad
I am in Sarasota, Florida which is an upscale tourist town. I shop Sephora at UTC, which is an upscale mall. Several years ago the Sephora there was clean and neat. It is now somewhat disgusting with dirty testers, products in wrong places etc. Ulta is cleaner but I'm starting to notice a decline there too. Not sure who is to blame but the people shopping now are total pigs.
I know stores require certain sale goals but I couldn’t imagine making selling of thousands of dollars and none of it going to me but instead the already billionaire owners of the company and just getting regular minimum wage
I 💯 agree
Parents being there doesn't help . I had a horrible experience in a Sephora and the moms were there
People are not upset over tweens in Sephora. They are upset over their *conduct* . And that's squarely on the adults not raising and disciplining their children.
You can definitely say that again!!!
I think some adults are also upset that there are kids in Sephora buying things they shouldn't or don't need. But there might be some jealously thrown in the mix too from what I'm seeing. However, the conduct is the huge issue. I wanna go to Sephora but I'm scared if the testers are even clean to try >
Thank you ice. You are exactly correct.
@@sunnyv7745 What's worse is that some stores have already responded by taking away testers, only for the kids to open the products on sale instead.
Millenial here: my first makeup experience was at Sephora when I was maybe 12. I was allowed to buy a few minimal products - and I got and eyeshadow, blush, and a concealer. To this day I remember which ones - I worshipped Urban Decay. I understood they were expensive and it was an absolute treat for my aunt to purchase them for me, and I cherished them for years up through high school.
Why are these kids treating nice things like garbage? Thats what's crazy to me. There's a lack of respect.
it’s all entitlement. and parents not parenting.
Agree entitlement . I know someone who has a daughter in ELEMENTARY school . She got drunk elephant and high end makeup for presents this year
They get their first IPad when they are 1 year old - personal iPad. I’m 30 and still don’t have one. I mean if kids grow up with an iPad which is so expensive even to this very day, iPad is a luxury!! Period! But kids treat it like water. I mean we treasured those ring candies more than they treasure iPad or other expensive things. And every year they want an upgrade and get it. It doesn’t stop. Parents don’t wanna deal with their kids one bit and and think let’s keep them quite through iPad and giving them what they want. People used to use pacifiers before but now pacifiers was supposedly “so bad” but iPads are the new pacifiers!
Y kids had iPads at 2 and 1 yo. They also know right from wrong
a lack of respect and a surplus of accessibility. I'm asking myself how they can even afford these things
Elder Millennial here, where I grew up no tweens were shopping at Sephora. IMO- Social media is ruining childhood for these kids. Tweens no longer go through an awkward phase, they just jump straight to trying to be an Instagram baddie. It's sad.
When I was a tween / teen Sephora didn't exist I lol
Truth
And yet I had the pizza face and used Sun-In on my dark brown hair. I'm a young Gen X.
@@vickiweber4718 I remember Sun-In! I also suffered from acne.
@@vickiweber4718 Me too! Would you not have loved a decent concealer shade range, and any skincare that wasn't Sea Breeze or a St. Ives scrub? 🙄
I appreciate your alternative perspective. This still boils down to parenting. Parents need to know what social media their kids are consuming. Parents need to teach kids how to behave in public. Parents need to teach kids the consequences of their actions. Parents need to be responsible for their kids and know when their kids are ready for independent shopping. You should not be a parent if you are not an involved parent.
12 year olds can't drive. This is on the parents who should be supervising their children. I am 54, and there is no reason a parent should be allowing their kids in a store to destroy things. No matter what is happening in society. My daughter stayed by my side in that store until she was older.
The parents bear most, if not all, the responsibility here. It is up to parents to discuss what media their kids are consuming and how to make good purchasing decisions. If we were talking about 16 year olds, your arguments would hold. 12 year olds still need guidance to make rational decisions.
Parents don't care . Either they were dropped off , or parents want a few minutes to shop without being asked if they can buy something a million times . . Not an excuse , but just an observation
I suppose in bigger cities kids could walk to the mall not requiring any driving. But yeah, I hear ya
I live near a big city and work in a big city and honestly there are no malls in "the city ". They are all in the suburbs and the stores are you know standalone locations in a shopping area. These aren't the places that are having issues I don't think. It is the suburban malls and the suburban Outdoor lifestyle centers that are seeing these issues. Also I think kids in the city no better. I think it is the suburban kids who are entitled and just think that they have to have everything and nothing applies to them
I was dropped off at malls when I was 12 and never would have destroyed property. That didn’t used to happen often and if it did, the manager would call security. We were scared of consequences, getting in trouble, having authorities or our parents called etc…. Even if an adult had just said “if you don’t stop, we will have to call security”, that would have been more than enough to get me to stop.
Kids need to learn to navigate independently and malls are a perfect, relatively safe, controlled place to do that in the tween stage. Supervising them until they are 16 is helicopter parenting and will actually stunt their development. A lot of kids go off to college by the time they’re 17 or 18 so there has to be a stage they learn to be “on their own.” I think the problem lies more with the fact that the difference today, is that no rules are enforced and nobody says anything when they see these kid acting up. For fear of being filmed or accused of bullying children or having parents complain about how their kids were treated? I’m sure they don’t think it’s worth the risk. It’s sad but it takes a society, not just parents to reinforce to kids how they’re expected to behave and we no longer have that. Even in schools, teachers are afraid to say the wrong thing or have their words twisted so the easier thing to do is nothing. And then the kids learn that when they’re parents told them they’d get in trouble for acting up, that was kind of a lie. It’s not fair to lay this entirely on parents, this is an uphill battle.
I agree. I am in my forties and have a 14 year old and a 9 year old. I would never let my kids do what some children have done. There is a lack of parental guidance and involvement. Although the city I live has an issue with 12-14 year olds stealing cars and shooting each other. It is sad what is happening in our society.
I think what’s more shocking though is the attitude and sense of entitlement these kids have, destroying testers, ruining stores and showing no regards for the employees. I’d have been terrified of getting into trouble for destroying public property (from the adults working in the store, authorities, my parents etc…) but there is a lack of any consequences now for kids and they genuinely have no fear. There was a time rules were actually enforced, parents would be called or at the very least, being somewhat shamed and embarrassed for behaving badly. Now they can walk out after destroying property and ruining people’s shopping experience with nobody saying a word. By 10-12, somebody somewhere should have taught them how to behave in a public space and part of that learning process is consequences when you don’t. I have kids and it takes a village. Parents, schools, coaches, adults in the community all play a part in your kid learning these lessons but if everyone is too scared to say or do anything (which is part of what’s happening, because people are scared of their words being twisted or being filmed) this is what results. It’s an uphill battle for parents when they are the only ones trying to teach this and not getting reinforcement:
I agree with a lot of what you’ve said. The consequences are one HUGE missing piece. If Sephora workers begin to recognize a tween acting out of line with appropriate behavior, they should say “you’ll be charged for anything you destroy” or “you’ll need to leave and come back when you can act right.” But that also takes Sephora operations backing that up with policies around “you break it you buy it”-including testers and displays, which means assigning dollar amounts and even barcodes or POS buttons to ring up such a transaction. Additionally, offering workers decision-trees on calling center security vs local law enforcement based on whatever general security policy they uphold.
It costs to participate in society. Sometimes it costs money, but all the time it costs effort and consideration of others. It is absolutely unreasonable to expect that children will learn this without practice. Parents can support their children in practicing by being nearby without hovering (e.g. “I’ll drive you and your friends to the shopping center and read a book in the car” or “I need to get something from Sephora-I know you love the store so why don’t you call a friend and you two can look around while I get what I need.”)
The reality is, tweens have a right to exist in the world. They even have a right to act up-but they deserve to have consequences. They deserve that chance to learn and improve. They deserve better than people just bashing all youth instead of calmly and firmly telling them to their face to shape up or ship out.
We want to compare them to ourselves, but all of us adults who know how to act in a store have been practicing for years. (Yes, there are also tons of adults who act just this same way, and that’s frequently just as multifaceted an issue). They just need practice, and you’re right-it takes the whole community to provide that for them (and it’s our responsibility to do so if we value the trajectory of our society).
Don't forget they have seen their parents disrespect retail workers so they think it's ok
I have so many thoughts on this topic. I have teens, girls and boys, between the ages of 13-17. I agree with you to an extent, mostly about the effects social media have on children and that covid lockdowns had an effect on development. BUT I am the parent and it is my job (and honor) to raise my kids right despite covid lockdowns, social media or any other worldly issue. Being a parent means putting in A LOT of effort. I keep up on what my kids watch on social media. I keep up with my kids in general, lots of communication. If my teens want something ridiculous like retinol or a $400 pair of Nike’s I say no, but they are free to earn the money for an appropriate item. They all have skin care, but it’s what is right for them. I find plenty of stuff for my teens to do with their friends. They go bowling, play airsoft, go fishing, Chuck E Cheese, Urban air, the movies etc. Those things do cost money, but most of the time they hang out, watch football, play video games, eat pizza and talk. I don’t think anyone else is responsible for my kid’s behavior besides them and myself as an example and parent. If my kids display inappropriate behavior there are consequences for their actions. It is my job to teach them right and wrong, responsibility, respect, and the rewards and consequences of their actions. Maybe I sound strict, but honestly I’m not because I rarely have to be. My kids are growing into fine humans. It is not the employees of Sephora’s job to babysit kids. I think they should be able to ask people to leave if they can’t behave. Maybe I’m old school, but a child’s growth and development is the responsibility of the parent.
💯💯💯💯💯
Well said!
Exactly!!!👏👏👏
@@Banniegirl Thanks! I’m not always a big commenter because it can get argumentative at times and I try to avoid that, but I live in a world of teens right now 😂 so I have a lot of thoughts on the subject.
This is such a thoughtful comment, and I appreciate that your care about your kid's development and take responsibility for it.
So many people don't, and why I understand Kelly's comments I think parents caring about how their kids act in public and being vested in them being better people is so important here.
I also think people are overlooking the changes in the school system which to me is very strange that this has not been discussed. Funding for extra curricular and team building activities have been cut significantly and for whatever is left there is something losing the kids interest, likely a combination of the things mentioned here. When I was in high school I was so busy with band I rarely had time for the mall, much less trashing or even thinking about Sephora! I was in a band that had over 300 of us and today that same band has less than half of that. Kids are also forced to just hang out at the gym causing chaos there as well. Many people are also complaining about that. But there are barely any after school activities anymore and they kept us all busy and out of trouble. I’m not an educator but I have many in my family and follow what’s happening to the school system and I can bet you the only dollars are going to sports and not everyone can play sports. We had all types of pre-professional clubs, drama, choir etc. So I think the skill building, socializing, and productive activities that were available to previous generations is being chipped away and the kids are not the blame for that, these school districts have people who are more worried about their careers and politics and not the enrichment of these youngsters. I actually feel sorry for them and I’m grateful I was a teenager when we had more productive and regenerative activities to participate in…it’s such a shame 😢
Such a valid point
Well said!
Not to mention parents are working longer hours for stagnant wages and they simply do not have the time to mind what their children are doing.
Yes! This! I have 3 kids, 21, 17 and 14. I’ve witnessed major shifts with the way we do life, the way kids are taught and what is available to them. Teachers do not stick around either. Every 6 months to every school year extra curricular teachers are shifted around.
@@MamaW30 That’s interesting! I can see how that’s a problem, no way to build relationships with them. I mean my band director was like my second father!
As someone who worked for Sephora until last month I can assure they are pestering everywhere! You see this 10-13 yo groups of girls coming in with such a terrible attitude touching and ruining so many products they shouldn't even be knowing what they are. I had a 12 yo girl asking me for retinol and I couldn't keep myself from gasping. It's unbelievable how, in the first place, brands such as Charlotte Tilbury or Drunk Elephant are marketing via social their products towards such a young audience, when the product clearly isn't intended for them. We've seen tons of girls piling up in front of CT' stand to try all of her products, ruining them and then going out like it's no big deal. They shouldn't even care about her products, those are for 25+ people! Also, idk how it works in other countries, but in Italy it's mandatory to ask to a shop assistant to get your desired product if it's stored in drawers; well, this lovely bunch of pre-teens and teenagers they just open drawers themselves and make a huge mess both cos they have no clue the order they're stored in and they don't bloody care about damaging the rest. Another problem is that by doing so there are so many more products that get stolen since they simply take it out of boxes (where the anti theft tag is) and put them in the bag. I really do hope Sephora will take some action against it putting an age limit, accompanied by an adult, some sort of "fine" if get caught while ruining the item. On a final note, they are so freaking obnoxious, uneducated and unapologetic that sometimes you really feel like wanting to throw the out of the shop.
i think some other places in europe are also like that; having to ask a store assistant to get a product for you if it’s not immediately on the shelf. we do that as well where i live, south africa. because we learn to have respect for spaces and items and places of business.
@@laur83 I only shopped at Sephora in Paris, Prague and various Cities in Germany, because we don't have Sephora in Austria, and it is the norm to ask a shop assistant for a product that is not on the shelf. Not only Sephora, but also in other stores, is the same. The main problem in German Sephora is that customers tend to steal their testers, which is for other customers absolutely annoying. The last time I was in Sephora, was in Paris last October, and I haven't seen tweens running wild there yet. Let's see, how it will be when I'll be in Hamburg in April. I hope that this madness will die down.
I'm in Canada and it's the same. I think it's actually like that everywhere, it's just common sense...If it's not on the shelf it is not for you to dig in for it. There is employees for that reason. Here the drawers are actually locked with a key, I don't know if it's like that everywhere since people talk about kids just willingly opening up drawers by themselves. I've worded in a Canadian Pharmacy when I was younger and the drawers weren't all locked but you didn't see people just opening them. Teens now are so intitled it's actually frustrating and embarrassing to watch. I'm only 26 years old and if I looked at myself just 10 years ago when I was 16, never in a million years would I've been comfortable and unashamed of doing the kind of things they are doing now...I know they aren't all like that but I have seen enough to be discouraged...
@@MrsDaedalus_ i’ve also shopped sephora in paris; one look from those shop assistants and those kids would be running out 😂
ugh, imagine people stealing testers. i get you want nice things, but that’s just gross tbh. i hope this trend of kids being disrespectful in stores doesn’t spread to other countries.
Sounds like the stores are going to have to put locks on the drawers and each worker has a key, so only the samples can be touched, not the products to purchase...and maybe a security guard or 2 to kick them out of the shop if they're just messing up the products!!
One little girl wanted the red ordinary serum and I told the mom to be careful and do a patch test so you don’t get burns or irritation (my manager had a huge burn from it but I didn’t say that to the customer) and the mom looked at her kid and said your not getting that. And the girl gave me the dirtiest look you can imagine 🤣
I love this story. 😂
Lmaaooo not the death stare
OMG I know the product you're talking about. It was great for clearing my skin, but you definitely do not want to use it lightly! I would only allow my child to use it with my supervision and only if they had acne and would have seen an actual benefit.
As a once child, now skincare loving millennial who got burned from acne creams in the early 2000s because my mother decided NOT to ask anyone about possible reactions... Thank you. Save her from looking like I did.
Good job Victoria!
stores like justice don’t exist anymore for tween girls. so when they go shop for clothes in gap or forever 21 they’re not gonna be drawn to traditional tween clothes, but what they see on the internet
I MISS JUSTICE OMG, I’m so grateful I grew up on rainbow cheetah prints and glitter and unicorns.
My mall still has a Claire’s but that’s not what’s trendy online so even if they have a space they can be bullied if they use those things while other kids are influenced to grow up fast online
It is totally the parents. No kid that age needs social media accounts, and they need parents not hang out friends. There is no reason these kids should even want to go to a Sephora.
exactly. "my daughter is my best friend!!" NO SHE ISN'T and she shouldn't be. be a PARENT. you can have a friend-LY relationship, but you are a PARENT first and foremost and I'm so over the "I'm not a regular mom, I'm a cool mom" bs. If I behaved the way I see so many teens behave now,, I'd never be seen on earth again. parents need to start being parents and stop trying to betheir kid's friend.
100%
literally. if i was a kid asking my mom for all this $$$ skincare she’d have just laughed at me and kept walking.
now, kids are definitely gonna need something to cleanse their skin, moisturise and protect them from the sun, but if actives aren’t prescribed or directed by a doc or derm, they really shouldn’t be using them. and good skincare can be bought at the drugstore.
100% agreed, maybe this is me being raised in a working class family who would've never blown 80 euros on a moisturiser, but this all seems like such upper-middle class nonsense to me. my parents would never in a million years have given me the money to buy some Glow Recipe or LET ALONE Drunk Elephant shit, the concept of spending so much money on... skincare...? for an 11 year old would've (rightfully) seemed absurd to them. some Claire's once in a while or whatever, as a treat. i think my father would've actually laughed if i asked for the money to buy Sephora prices
and both my parents worked (literal 12 hour shifts) so this "you don't understand, we don't have TIME to parent, i need the iPad :(" excuses are nonsense. parent your damn kids
@@caseyc2497AMEN🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌💯
I agree that the problem is multi-faceted, but the big problem is the lack of respect. At that age, I would never have been destroying displays and samples. And, the disregard of authority, such as Sephora employees and adult customers. So, I feel the lack of respect issue does rest on the parents. Too many parents want to be "friends" with their kids, rather than being parents.
Yes I agree with you about the teens being programmed to want to buy the stuff, but the horrendous behavior that these kids are exhibiting is unacceptable!! Sephora needs to bring back age restrictions. Anyone who is behaving badly needs to be kicked out of the store.
I agree that tweens and teens should be able to shop where they want to but the mess they're making is unacceptable and can't be defended in my book. I don't believe it's just "kids being kids". This new generation is out of control and I know I sound like an old lady saying that. But I'm Gen X and I have Millenial siblings and we at least had respect for the places we hung out at. Of course there were always outliers but for the most part, you didn't see this rampant disregard for property and the theft is also out of control too.
You do sound like a grandma, plenty of kids in Sephora are respectful actually. I've also seen people in their 30's and 40's abusing testers and causing mayhem in crowded stores. Honestly this is a problem that could be fixed with better staffing and paying staff enough to care.
I'm gen x too and I 100% agree w you. These kids have never had consequences so they fear nothing and have no respect
it’s kids being kids with their parents and teachers not disciplining them. i definitely remember my friends and i having fun in stores as kids but we were never disrespectful like that. shows entitlement.
I have bad for news for you, and the bad news is that your generation does not have respect for the places they hang out at. As someone who worked in retail for years, I assure you that Gen Xers and boomers destroyed the store I worked at every single day. This is a bad behavior that every generation exhibits, but for some reason people feel particularly at liberty to complain about it when young people do it.
Teachers are supposed to teach and parents are supposed to do the discipline. Why do parents expect teachers to raise their children? LMAO @@laur83
I really appreciate you being considerate and nuanced and not "get off my lawn (Sephora)" like a lot of the discourse I've seen. Yes, they should use age appropriate products and be respectful, but also, I cannot imagine being 10-14 in this era
Thank you! I can't believe elder millennials who were dragged under the sun for being "entitled" are now saying it to Gen Z.
Seriously I just have so much empathy for them. Being a teen was so hard and i didn’t have half of the streams of influence they’re presented with at every turn.
Destroying property is not being kids. I raised 4 and non of mine ever acted like that. No accountability or consequences for bad disruptive bahavior
People have no shame anymore. I've worked in retail since age 17 and things were more strict. Parents would accompany kids to the store, and actually watch their behavior, to make sure their kids behaved well and didn't bother others. Now parents drop off kids, or the parent is in one section of the store while their kids are destroying the other side. Or parents are too focused on their cell phones and ignore what's happening around them. If an employee says anything to the kids about their bad behavior, the parent turns into a KAREN, and blames the store or the employee for chastising their kid! Nobody wants to lose their job over a freaking 10 year old messing up a tester unit! There's NO ACCOUNTABILITY. PERIOD! From the parents to the kids to social media. NO ACCOUNTABILITY. Nobody wants to be told NO, or STOP or anything else that they feel ENTITLED to having. Like i said at the beginning, there's NO SHAME. As a society we have failed our youth by removing Discipline. Now, we have consequences.
I’m Gen Z and I have Gen Alpha cousins who I have had to parent when shopping. Parents do not seem to care about watching their kids anymore, especially not tweens. I have to remind myself these kids that are acting out at Sephora and Ulta (but I hear and see more bad behavior at Sephora) were kids during Covid. Parents checked out after 2022, they let their kids become chronically online because they felt overwhelmed and didn’t have the attention span to parent. The same poor behavior is happening in school, kids are on their phone in class, sharing too much of their lives online and I do feel that influencers are, in part, to blame. The lack of third places is a part of the problem, but when I was a kid in the late 00’s, I didn’t go to the mall or library, I went to hang out with kids in the neighborhood, went to the movies, went to the park, visited the aquarium and zoo… but everything is more expensive and people don’t expect kids/tweens/teens to hang out unless they’re paying to be there. Lastly, I think parasocial relationships are influencing Gen Alpha to believe that in order to fit in they have to buy their way into social circles, everything is transactional now. Kids think that they have to act and look a certain way which is normal, but how they’re going about it is that as long as they’re paying they don’t care about how they behave. Teen culture isn’t thriving anymore because adults want children to grow up, act and spend like adults.
I agree on how the kids ended up in Sephora but ruining products is wild.
Where exactly are these kids parents? Or some sort of adult. When I was 13 I was not running rampant through a store by myself. It’s a safety/liability issue. For the kid and for the store. Any store, I don’t care what it is, the parent should at least be present if the kid is under 15 or so.
Also, I knew how to act which is something that seems lacking in younger generations. I wasn’t making a mess. I wasn’t getting in the way or being obnoxious.
Personally, I think it’s the parents fault. Kids are not learning respect or how to behave in public at all anymore. And parents are just letting tablets raise their children for them. Instead of actually interacting with kids and encouraging them to interact with each other, letting them play and learn and explore in the real world, we are replacing that experience with the internet. Which is not good. They are learning and developing in this soup of social media and media generally and it is going to have serious consequences because the internet is not the same as the real world. And it exists in this soup of advertising and consumption and instant gratification that I think will have serious consequences for younger generations.
Oh they are in the store , but don't care
at barnes and noble my sister saw a kid (~10) throwing books at people off the 3rd floor (its like an open/balcony kind of layout, basically the 3rd and 2nd floors can "look" into the center of the 1st) and when the employees tried to get the kid out of the store the dad defended the kid saying theyre customers so they have the right to be in the store??? total weird entitlement
Putting a screen in front of your kid at an early age is creating anti -social behavior. They aren't learning how to interact with each other face to face anymore. Having conversations, and learning give and take. Its all about what they can get. Its alarming, what are they going to be like as adults in the real world? Pre teens grabbing things out of someone's hand isn't normal or kids just being kids. Its anti-social , and pathological. I see behavior problems Turning into entitlement and just becoming bad people. I blame the parents, why have children if you don't teach them or spend time with them? Society isn't going to do it for you, its not a teachers role to discipline your kids. If you don't step up and do it, you have only yourself to blame when your kid gets in trouble with the law, etc.
I work in a Sephora at Kohl's, and I think the issue isn't the tweens or the parents, it's just taking the time to teach how to behave in a makeup store. I have had parents with daughters as young as three come in. Most parents are very reactive to their children in a negative way, often saying not to touch or to leave it alone. I'll go up to children who are interested and grab an eyeshadow wand or lip wand or a fragrance wand, and say, "you can touch/smell/play using this," and show them how to treat the products. Then give them warnings about germs and how to sanitize products, and tell them to ask if they don't know. I also have to teach adults this. The number of adults who pump the tester mascara and apply it directly onto their lashes without using a tester wand or uses an eyeliner on their waterline without any precautions is more frustrating than any tween, because they should know better. Sephora is supposed to be a place of learning and experimenting! Our motto is Get. Give. TEACH. Sell. Anyone should be free inside Sephora, as long as someone is willing to teach them about how to do things.
Edit: grammar and clarification
Yes! I think you’re so right! Most (kids and even adults) just need some guidance. It really does take a village, so thank you for sharing your knowledge with kids so they can learn! My 12 year old had the best experience with a Sephora at Kohl’s employee. She completed the whole transaction on her own, I was just in the background and the employee was so sweet to her! I think it was a positive experience that taught her important life skills.
I am a millenial (made in 82) and growing up my parents taught me to act respectful as my behavior was a reflection on them, plus they never let me out of their sight (stranger danger!)
so if I did something wrong my mom or dad would correct me immediately.
And keep in mind my parents were employing gentle parenting techniques before gentle or responsive parenting was a thing. (My mom used to get hit as a kid so she avoided that) so i can't say "oh if I misbehaved they would have paddled me",
no if I misbehaved I would be forced to tidy up if I made a mess, apologise to anyone I offended, and walked out- where I would be given a stern talking to abt my conduct and then grounded.
So I'm wondering- where are parents nowadays going wrong? Are they just not there to observe and correct their child's behavior or do they not care how their children conduct themselves? Are they not telling their kids what they expect out of them to begin with? I just don't get it!
I'm trying to understand it too. Some people have pointed out that as parents, we can't be stern or others will look at us weird thinking we are abusing them. The gentle parenting movement has gone to an extreme I think were it's all about their feelings disregarding other topics like respect and consequences.
It feels a lot like the 90’s diet culture. Though I grew up in the early 2000’s, that feeling of never being skinny enough still lives in my head. The whole idea of “start these habits young” can easily be translated from diet culture to skincare culture. There will always be an outward appearance trend that younger children latch on to, and unfortunately it happens to be skincare at the moment
about the juvenile/"childish" packaging design and color scheme, I've always thought it was cuz people liked cute things and it makes them feel younger, rather than trying to attract a younger target audience 🤷🏻♀️
Drunk Elephant's packaging hasn't changed in the last 10 years.
Same!
I'm 40 but I like the cute packaging, my only gripe is the pastel or white writing on pastel packaging.
Even if I wasn't visually impaired I still wouldn't be able to read the packaging. Is it lotion? Shampoo? Face wash? Moisturizer?!!?!
That was my interpretaion, I'm almost 26 but most of the makeup I'm drawn to is aesthetic K-beauty, and FlowerKnows cosmetics.
@@rubyannr6898thank you for saying this. In 2015 nobody accused Drunk Elephant of marketing to kids and they were using the same type of packaging as today.
The packaging isn’t the problem whatsoever; it’s social media. When an adult influencer recommends a product, it’s implied that the recommendation is for fellow adults. Children don’t care. They want to emulate the influencer they admire.
Furthermore, advertising for kids vs adults was far more simple when commercials were on television because the demographic was more defined. An attempt at advertising to the right demographic is still made on sites like RUclips and TikTok, but it’s not as precise or reliable. It’s more nebulous.
For example, doll customization videos are for adults (the materials used can be quite toxic), but because the video is tagged as a “toy” instead of a “craft” by the algorithm, commercials for young kids may play on the video. No one watching the video is interested in buying that thing. A commercial for art supplies would make far more sense. But the algorithm doesn’t quite understand that.
Similarly, kids may lie about their age or watch content that’s not intended for them. That’s going to skew what advertisements they receive. It doesn’t help that marketing and advertisements have been encouraging teens and tweens to “grow up” at increasingly earlier ages for the past two decades.
Parents need to parent. The screen is not an efficient babysitter.
Hi Kelly! Good morning, thank you for your perspective & well thought-out observations. I fully agree that the internet is the new 3rd place of these young tweens, as a consequence they are exposed to adult influences & it's just wild. To give you another perspective I work in a beauty store (not Sephora or Ulta) where I have 9 year olds coming in ALL THE TIME looking for Drunk Elephant & throwing fits when I attempt to explain to them there's skincare out there for them that's wayyy more appropriate than DE. I actually had a mother thank me for informing her & her daughter about Drunk Elephant, the acids in some of their products not being age appropriate. But it's a double edged sword... why take your child/allow your child to play in skincare that could be potentially damaging to young skin, not even know how much it is when they walk into the store with their child?! I have to say I am also seeing a gross negligence in parenting, it takes 3 seconds to Google something & 5 minutes to understand that isn't appropriate for their child. These parents are allowing their children, unsupervised, the wreck these displays & not instilling in them why that would be wrong?! I just get so frustrated by it all, you're right it's a multi-faceted issue, I understand these kids don't have a 3rd place really but they need to be guidance & protection & they aren't getting either of those things. I know they aren't the only ones to blame, but I see the parents & children on an almost daily basis & it's just awful.
Millennial here who has worked in education for about 12 years - the level of entitlement in kids these days is huge, and it’s across the socio-economic continuum. It’s so much more of a rarity to find polite students who are grateful for any privileges they have or time you spend helping them. I think it’s a mixture of social media and parenting and a huge lack of enforcing rules by parents and schools during the pandemic. It’s a huge problem and I shudder to think of how these kids are going to deal with going to college or getting into the workforce. It’s a big big problem.
I hardly ever get to an actual Sephora store because the closest to me is 2 hours away and I was in shock. There were so many young girls in there being absolutely horrible-squirting products all over and just in the way being rude. Sephora is my happy and go to relax place. So upsetting that I couldn't even look and take my time shopping because I was so aggravated at these kids. I felt so bad for the employees because they were busting their butts trying to clean up and help customers and couldn't keep up. Teens buying wrinkle cream is ridiculous. I didn't even buy anything this time which never happens-just because I could not shop. I understand teen girls love to shop makeup and I'm all for it but have some respect!
I shopped at Sephora when I was 14-18 years old but my mom was always with me. She wanted me to have good quality makeup with my sensitive skin. The mall wasn't in my hometown though so it wasn't a drop off at the mall for the day and be unsupervised. I grew up with early RUclips 2009-2014 with all the makeup hauls so I probably fit into the tween category but it is never okay to be rude and ruin displays!
Same here! I shopped at Sephora as a young teen as well. But I was always with my mom. Buying clinique chubby sticks, Sephora collection concealer and powder foundation, etc. Pining over the Naked/Naked 2 palette that was too expensive to ask my mom for.
The most skincare I had at that age (12-16) was the Clinique 3 step set and/or neutrogena acne face washes and the grapefruit scrub.
My daughter is 4. She goes to Ulta with me and Sephora. BUT. I teach her how to respect the makeup! How to respect the people. She also got to pick out essence makeup for her “makeup bag” - play makeup lol. Parents need to be teaching their kids RESPECT. It is a matter of respecting the product, the store and the workers.
For me, it’s not the urge they have to buy the things that gets to me, it’s the behavior that is the problem. When I was their age, I would never have made a mess of testers or bumped into someone and seemingly not cared. I would never have grabbed things out of peoples’ hands as if I were more entitled to the product than them. If I accidentally made a mess in a store (display bars did pop off sometimes) I tried to fix it myself and sought help if I couldn’t. Where I grew up, we didn’t have a ton of places either, so kids hung out in parks or in the area around where they or their friends lived. We’d hang out in some stores too and I guarantee we were a bit disruptive but it was by being loud and blocking isles, extreme cases only would make a mess and just leave it (and I do wonder if modern media is making behavior like that seem more prevalent than it really is). Most kids I knew would at least try to pick up a little, though, because you’d be kicked out if too many people complained or seemed bothered or if employees caught you making a mess and not caring. Yes, there are a lot of reasons playing into why we are seeing this kind of thing now, but there has been a big shift in how kids are treated (by the average parent and society as a whole) and there are consequences to that that we are only just starting to see now.
Completely agree with you. It’s wild to me that anyone would think that ripping something out of someone else’s hands and destroying things that don’t belong to you is “normal tween/teen behaviour.” Absolutely not.
With all of the things we hear abt human trafficking I don't understand how parents can just drop their child off at a store and feel that's OK.
When I was a kid we were taught stranger danger and when I was small I was almost taken by a teen boy right in front of my parents at a hometown football game.
So it just boggles my mind that some parents are just so blasé!
The adults are there , they just don't care
I agree. It’s so dangerous to leave your child unsupervised. It seems that many parents can’t control or simply aren’t interested in their children which is tremendously sad.
I get what Kelly's trying to say but at the same time when i was a tween ( I'm just a little bit older then Kelly so similar childhood experiences) my friends & i would go into Sephora but we would act like humans. We'd look at makeup, maybe test a perfume, swatch somethings on our hands or arms, & generally behave.
As a mom of a teen, you’re spot on! Thanks for sharing your perspective 💜
When I was a tween, I wasn’t shopping alone with my friends. We hung out at each other’s houses mostly until we were teens, then we hit the malls!
Yeah, this is why I don't get the "death of third-places." We hung out at each other's houses in the 90s and 2000s? If we get some spending money, we'd go to ice cream places or check out makeup in drugstores.
Re the skincare, I highly encourage moms to take their kids to a dermatologist because they are trying to address issues that don’t exist. I have 3 daughters with 3 different routines, and none of them have a skincare routine that costs over $80 - TOTAL, including their prescriptions for acne and eczema… my 14, 14 and 16 year old children don’t get expensive stuff unless they have gift cards and holiday cash.
that’s how it should be. using products and things prescribed to them that work, are affordable and actually meant for kids their age. i’m sad for these new kids thinking they need drunk elephant to be cool or accepted or to look presentable.
@@laur83I was having to explain to my 13 yr old niece that drunk elephant is overpriced and she has very good skin and no need for it. I took her to Ulta and helped her get a Skincare routine that was age appropriate for her as well as her skin type.
@@selfcarewithstephanie3519 that’s fantastic. i’m glad you were able to do that for her ☺️
I have noticed that kids are really lacking social training. I was a kid/tween/teen once, too, but my parents taught and reinforced appropriate behavior for different situations and I’m not so sure that’s happening anymore. I can’t imagine ever going into a store and making a mess or being loud as a kid. My mom would have had my ass if she had ever heard about me doing something like that. It’s not that they are in the store. I get it, kids hang out at the mall. I used to spend time in Woolworth’s and Sam Goody’s (yes, I really did just age myself here). But if you can’t behave correctly, you probably need to be asked to leave.
When I was a kid we all hung out at the skating rink and it was some of my favorite times I can remember
Oh me too!! I loved going to the skating rink on the weekends with my friends! Some of my best memories ☺️
While I 90% agree with your thoughts and points here, when it comes to destruction and running wild, I feel that it’s 100% the parents. I raised 2 sons, and while they had a fair amount of freedom when they were in the young teen age, they certainly weren’t rude or destructive. We had a few events in that realm, but they truly learned from them (and the non-corporal punishments they received). But of course it was a different time - and yes, it does take a village. Maybe these stores should start requiring the parents to be present?
I’m 47, and when I was 10-12 I didn’t hang out at the mall, I played outside with friends, had activities like soccer, swimming, and dance, and wasn’t allowed to roam without a parent or my older sister. But now kids aren’t allowed to play outside as much, because awareness of crime has made parents feel like outside isn’t safe. Many parents can’t afford the activities that were so prevalent in the 80s because even local activities are cost prohibitive for many. Kids aren’t allowed to be kids anymore.
Well said! So many after school activities are cost-prohibitive for many families, and it's a huge struggle if you have more than one child if you're a single parent or have a lower-income household.
For skin care back in the day we were influenced by tv commercials like Noxzema, Clean & Clear, Neutrogena, pro active, and Clinique for high end because of Clueless and other movies or celebrities.
When I clicked this video, I wasn't expecting to feel so sad lol. But you are 100% correct. It's actually disturbing. This is why I love watching you Kelly--not only are you relatable, but you hit on topics that need to be talked about within this community. Always informative. Great video as always!
i want to offer a different insight, as someone who just turned 18, started dabbling in makeup 6ish years ago, and used to hang out in sephora with their fiends.
i used to get really excited when my mom needed to go to sephora, i could look at cool products that i had seen on youtube, but my mom would never let me touch them.
the problem with the ‘third place’ has existed before this sephora teens issue has, and i say this as someone who grew up missing that ‘third place’. for people my age, going to sephora was still an activity, and we would go there and smell perfumes and stuff, but the messes were unheard of at that point.
the first time my mom actually took me to sephora to buy stuff for myself (four ish years ago), i was excited and i wanted to buy tons of things; however she told me i could only get three products because i was still pretty young and didn’t need any of that, so i only got concealer, lipgloss, and blush.
the problem nowadays is that parents aren’t properly limiting their children. if i had told my mom at that time that i wanted to get a $70 moisturizer and retinol, she would’ve laughed in my face.
it’s normal for kids that age to want to experiment with makeup and skincare, especially while being exposed to media regarding it. however it’s not normal for them to be disrespecting employees, not being told ‘no’ by their parents, and spending so much money in order to look like 20+ year old influencers.
As someone who is a parent and is horrified at what she sees happening from other children, I don’t think it’s the problem is where the kids are shopping but the fact that they have been raised to think that they can do whatever they want, and there are no consequences and the parents given to them with alll wants. During the pandemic I could have allowed my kid to sit in front of a screen or teach them life skills and appropriate behavior, I chose the later, learning to cook, clean, balance a check book and being held accountable.
Yes there are many other factors at play including companies packaging and the public being afraid to tell parents or children no
As a parent of a 12 yo girl, I believe skin care is important. My mother never showed me how to take care of myself. I do allow my daughter to spend her earned money on good products. I physically take her to the store and don't let her wander by herself. She seeks out the professionals to guide her on what she should use. If she ever made a mess, I wouldn't bring her back. I'm her only way to get there.
Thank you for being a responsible parent. It’s rare these days.
I was this child. My mother and her sisters had perfect skin and because we don't share DNA, I had oily, pimply skin. She tried very hard but had no idea what to do with me. She couldn't teach me anything. So she gave me Stridex pads with no instructions. I was in TEARS most days. Turns out? I had to wash my face twice a day. She had no idea and it took me burning my skin on acne creams (the 2000s were a NIGHTMARE) as well as a few other misadventures when I figured this out. Thank you, MAC Counter at Macy's.
You have to teach them. You have to teach them they don't need a retinol. You have to teach them how to talk to people in store and get good advice and you have to teach them how to act. I learned super late but I PROMISE you have to learn. Thank you for being truly amazing, you're going to teach her skills she can carry everywhere.
I think destroying stuff or making a mess has nothing to do with having (or not) a space to hang out. Teens nowadays are just entitled (most of them, not all).
Teens have always been entitled, I was bullied for not following late 00s trends and for doing good in class so it wilds me that those rude kids, now in their mid 20s with kids of their own, talking about kids nowadays being disrespectful. 🤔
I'm a bit jaded when it comes to beauty tastemakers after working in the industry for a while, but I ALWAYS return to your videos and agree with your takes. Your thoughtfulness and deliberate opinions (backed by larger societal and cultural moments, frameworks and ideologies) keep me around.
As a speech language pathologist who worked in the schools (taking time off due to burn out), I agree with your point of view. People have no idea the long ranging impact of Covid. Our kids are not prepared for kindergarten, let alone making the semi adult decisions we require of them in middle school. The lack of socialization has tendrils reaching into every aspect of life, and especially with those kids who were 0 to 5 years old during lockdown. Parents were often placing kids in front of an electronic babysitter before and after school, because they were simply trying to make a living and had no other resources to care for their children. Our developmental (therapy) preschools are absolutely overloaded in my district (also due to drug use which increased during the stress of the pandemic). It’s going to be a while before things normalize that said, I do agree that it is so frustrating with the increase of disrespectful behaviors. we have really almost half of a generation of feral children basically. I think we’re going to see a big swing in the next few years of putting down the phones. At least I hope so. Until then, I hope we can be as gracious and forbearing as possible. But I know it’s tough-the beginning of my long comment noted I’m on a break. It’s tough.
Thank you Kelly, for your insightful video.
Thank you for this! This whole phenomenon is rooted in the destruction caused by COVID. Our brains are rewired, and not usually for the better. Parents are worried and overworked - mostly just doing their best to hold it together. (This does not excuse the marauding tween hordes. That's just manners, and that starts in infancy.) I'm in a very privileged position in that I can work part-time to be available for my daughter, and even I got a bit neglectful in limiting her screen time. And she's in seventh grade, and has never been to a slumber party! This is not a normal time, and we can't expect people (especially kids) to just go back to the way things were.
ETA: thank you so much for everything you do! You are so appreciated. 👏👏👏
❤🙏🏼
3rd place hang outs back in the day are the mall, movies, arcade, skating rink or outdoor skate park, record store, coffee shop, places like Barnes & Noble, regular outdoor park, maybe the beach, and maybe a theme park. Some of these places don’t exist anymore and some do, but teens don’t find these places fun to hang out at anymore. We were influenced by tv and movies like 80’s movies, clueless, and shows like Saved by the bell when they were always at “The Max” lol
Growing up poor and in a rural town with no mall, my makeup choices were limited to the less expensive drugstore brands. I considered Revlon and Max Factor luxury back then. My grandma would give me free-with-purchase makeup from Estee Lauder and Clinique. I didn't know Sephora and Ulta existed until my early 30s.
I didn't get into skincare until my mid-20s. Yet last month, I saw a meme saying, "Ruin your middle school daughter's Christmas by not getting her that $85 eye cream." My current favorite is $42, and I want to try a similar one that's half that.
You could have been describing my childhood
I think you've made some really good points here. I was also a kid who hung out at the mall just in the common area. It kept me out of stores being a menace because my friends and I could sit in the communal places and talk. I also was not interested in being in Ulta or Sephora because it wasn't marketed to me, everything was black and white, maybe with some pink, and it was very clear that it was not for me as a teen vs. the bright, pastel colors of today. I totally agree with you that it doesn't excuse the behavior but it explains the behavior, which gives us a better frame of reference to design an effective solution. I hope someone takes your points into consideration and creates a solution that works for the adults and the kids. I get the frustration, but it's useless to put all the blame on just one party.
I wholly agree with you because I firmly believe the issue is more multi-faceted than "lack of respect" because people said that for every generation.
Tad bit of topic, but I kinda find it interesting the sociological shift in terms of teen culture. Like, before the 60s, maybe even the 50s with the Rock n' Roll scene, teen culture didn't exist at all. It wasn't really until the 60s did the concept of the teenager and teen culture really started to come to life. And now, we are kinda of regressing backwards regarding teen culture; like a very drastic swing of the pendulum. Just an interesting observation
There was no such thing as a " teenager" until the mid 1950's. In the 40's ,if you were under eighteen, you were considered a child. Legally at 18,you became an adult ,many people married at 18-19 years old back then . My mom married at 19, in the 50's. People were raised to be more mature because they had to be,there was no grace period between 19 and 30. Once you hit 18, you went out and got a job ,it was economically necessary. The 1970's things changed, people became more comfortable, middle-class, and money was plentiful. Teens could stay children longer. And so on, today, its an economic and social issue. We have let teens stay in an infantile state for far longer then necessary. Education has been dumbed down. People in their twenties act like teenagers. Playing video games into their thirties. Adult men addicted to porn and video games, taking no responsibility for their lives. And young women fixated on their looks and sex appeal to get what they want because of no self esteem. Its a sick culture we have now, social media in the last 20years has been the driving force behind this behavior. And not for good. Its toxic and has poisoned young minds into thinking they need things to make them happy. Children have been exposed to things they shouldn't be, and brainwashed into thinking they need things they dont. Parents need to monitor what their kids watch. And not allow social media until their teens are older. 16+ I'm Gen X and I've seen this slowly happen over the last 20years and it just seems to be getting worse. Parents need to take control ,and not shift blame to others because of their lack of interest in their own damn kids.....
Thank you so much for this perspective, Kelly. I think you're right that this is a very complex issue. I have a step-daughter turning 14 this month and so much of this resonates, especially the pressure they experience to look a certain way and project an image; the impact of the pandemic during critical developmental years; the lack of 3rd places and lack of support for the transition from childhood to adulthood; the rushing of maturity; and how dominant culture in general often looks to demonize feminine people. I've also learned from behavioral specialists that tween femmes and girls developmentally can be a bit destructive, and the thought is that they have a lot of built-up rage due to being at the age where they realize all the truths you mentioned, but without social power and with nowhere to direct that rage, so it can be displaced into physically destructive behavior, which is interesting and makes so much sense to me, and reminds me of the MLK quote - "A riot is the language of the unheard."
Young people need our empathy, guidance and care, not our vitriol. 💜
Kelly, you just nailed so much of what is really going on here. Thanks so much for addressing this as the complex issue it really is. While kids aged physically during the pandemic, they did not age mentally in the same way that any generation alive ever has. So that 12 year old might look 12 or older but their brains aren't even 12 yet. They spent so much time online including their schooling because there was no alternative for literal years of their lives. And that's not even talking about the trauma of the pandemic they've been through that while the rest of us went through as adults, they went through as children with less abilities to cope. Thank you for really going over how multi-layered the problem is! It's a perfect storm, just like you said.
Gen X here with teens. My kids have plenty of social media exposure and struggled through a pandemic like the rest of us. They would never go to a store and be disrespectful and destructive. I do place some blame on parents. It does seem like a huge sense of entitlement that was learned somewhere.
Good morning Kelly! Love that you’re covering this. It’s honestly wild. I would’ve gotten grounded but my mom would’ve never let me off at a store to run amuck with friends!! I definitely think social media plays a massive role in this. I do feel like parents could police the content their children are consuming
As a mom of a 12 year old girl, I appreciate your thoughts and not being completely down on the kids. I grew up during the mall era, so I do agree that the societal shifts of moving everything digital the last several years is introducing some new parenting challenges that need to be figured out, so I appreciate you offering some grace there. That being said, I’m a little surprised to hear that it’s SO common for these kids to be unsupervised in a store like Sephora. I do bring my girls there, and while I’m not necessarily hovering over them, I don’t leave them completely unsupervised. From my perspective, the messy and disrespectful behavior isn’t new to this generation, but the location has shifted. My mom was a manager of a department store and I work some time in the mall, so I know stuff like this happened 20-30 years ago. This is the responsiblity of parents and other adults to teach and correct. I think to some extent part of the growing up process. In regards to girls using products containing actives and being really splurgy on products, there definitely should be guidance outside of what they are being sold on social media. I’m hopeful I can help my girls to learn to be better consumers through this Sephora phase. My 12 year old was given a gift card and was pretty thoughtful about what she purchased once she realized how the prices add up!
You're right about kids not having a third place. While they should be mannered and supervised (i wasn't allowed to walk around the mall alone until i was 16), they really need spaces to play. I remember at their age what I wanted most for Christmas was a dc superhero girls and ever after high doll. It's okay if kids aren't into dolls, but there's slime, plushies, books, kpop albums, Legos, craft kits, etc. I hung out with my old homeschooled friends who don't have phones with social media, and they're some of the nicest, smartest well mannered teens and tweens I've met in recent years. They were telling me about the puzzles and crafts they were working on, the youngest (11) was showing me her calico critters collection. Parents really just need to surpervise their kids and stop giving young tweens social media access.
Packaging with high a collectibility appeal is honestly so predatory to consumers of ALL ages. When I was a kid, everything expensive looked so minimalist and boring because the product spoke for itself. But, as nostalgia grew, the companies matched their packaging to age in reverse to the consumer. That’s my take on the core of some of this. Great video 🫶🏻!
I’ve worked with children for the past 5 and a half years. We’ve been out of lockdown for 3 years now. I think it’s not that they’re learning how to be in public. I think it’s how the parents are parenting. They’re allowing the children to talk to people however they want and do whatever they want without consequences.
Kelly, Your sense of maturity blows me away. I have been watching your videos since years now and you've always seemed so much more sensible, level headed and conscientious than others at your age.
This is such an excellent video! You addressed what is often overlooked in these larger conversations, nuance. I feel for everyone involved, kids being marketed to, parents not understanding and trying to make their kids happy, and the poor retail workers! I've often noted how different the world looks from when I was a kid/teen, and I think it makes it hard for parents to know how to help their kiddos navigate these new spaces, not saying they shouldn't try though. The Stavros public Library on 5th Ave has an amazing teens only space that fills my heart with joy when I see it full of happy chatty teens!
Mom of a 9 year old here and I just wanted to thank you for your kind consideration of my daughter. Not all moms are allowing there kids to destroy the store or buy harmful products but I did take her to buy a mild face wash and reasonable moisturizer and lip mask. And honestly it was so much fun to go with her and share that experience together. Now with all the horrific controversy and prejudice judgment I’m afraid to bring her with me. I 100% agree with you on things are very different from when I was a kid hanging at the mall. I can’t even let her play in the yard unsupervised. She does have “kids RUclips” but no other social medial and remember kids talk to each other about what is “fun”. I wish for the same understanding and consideration you have shown for all kids. With guidance this is not the hateful thing it is being made into
Wasn’t expecting a video essay from Kelly today, but really appreciate it. I 100% agree with you.
A lot of other commenters are going to say where are the parents, but that’s really oversimplifying the issues with tweens/teens these days. And let’s be real, there can’t be that many bad parents can there?? The internet is really an unprecedented extra parent now, one that parents have almost zero oversight on. Then, kids are being ignored and othered by society in every single way possible such as via the bans on unsupervised minors at some malls, the lack of third places, how expensive it is to do anything fun, not being allowed to do certain things by themselves like walking to a local park bc of all the supposed risks (when in reality, “predators” can just as easily be in schools and online anyway). They have no idea what normal looks like as a result, and yet they’re still just kids and this is what kids raised by the internet look like, eg from watching prank videos, doing weird stuff in public that would have been considered embarrassing previously, and seeing what other “cool” kids are doing. Parents can do a lot but a few TikToks and a little messaging with friends can ruin all the best parenting in the world. It starts early too - once you normalize giving a smart device to a kid you can’t go back. The one thing parents can do better here is to not just leave their kids to figure it out alone and just pay more attention to them.
What WE can all do is stop being mad at them for behaving exactly the way that the society has turned them into. Complaining about them is only making it worse.
I'm so impressed that you quoted Ray Oldenburg! As a makeup-loving librarian, I now love you even more!
Libraries are still vital to their communities, and funding them is incredibly important to build neighborhoods and strengthen bonds between people. My public library is in a city of 115,000 in the northwest suburbs of Chicago. We are definitely a "community center," gathering people from all sorts of backgrounds, age groups, and interests. But tweens and teens are hard to reach--they don't drive, they have a ton of after school activities, and more and more they are being influenced by adults on social media, or adult-influenced teens. My library offers movie nights, finals study sessions with snacks, gaming, crafts, and a myriad of other activities you'd think would appeal to teens, but we see more active retirees and young families in our library than teens.
While I believe an age-appropriate interest in makeup is fun and part of growing up (Maybelline Kissing Slicks! Bonne Bell Lip Smackers! Cover Girl Sky Blue eyeshadow!) Sephora really shouldn't be their third place. Our communities are not offering other alternatives that appeal to teens. Let's face it--once tweens and teens get a taste of adult things, it's hard to offer them anything less. Glamour is a tempting lure, so kids are going to hang out at Sephora. They're not clamoring to go to H&R Block or Home Depot. Ultimately blame falls on our communities, because communities are the ones that can come up with solutions.
Sephora should come up with a behavior policy and enforce it. It doesn't really matter your age--if you can't behave appropriately, you need to leave for the day.
Thank you for this illuminating and thoughtful Makeup Musing!
I've never worked luxury retail but I know that teens always struggle to find space to hang out together. There's a nice public library across the street from my Sephora but you really can't be a loud tween in either space. You make so many good points Kelly, thanks for your perspective!
This is such a refreshing take, I remember 10 years ago when I was 11 I started engaging with the beauty community. I remember begging for a naked 3 palette and a MAC lipstick, like my favourite creators. The rush of excitement when I brought my first MAC lipstick at 13! So much nostalgia!!! Of course it was velvet teddy and I was so pleased with it. Did I need high end makeup at 12/13? No. But it made me feel a part of the community I was engaging with online.
They shouldn’t be trashing Sephora or being rude to staff.
But instead of kicking them out of the store and not allowing them to have the freedom to try products, we should be welcoming them with more age appropriate products. Make them feel listened to and taken seriously. I feel like part of this issue is misogyny, it’s so easy to hate teenage girls for their interests. Makeup is a form of self expression, they’re not hurting anyone. let them be creative.❤
I so appreciate your more philosophical approach on these topics. Could listen to you forever.
I work as a Sephora employee and yes we do have groups of 10 year olds who make a mess. I will take the time to remind them to be respectful to the testers when I see it happening.
Sephora is a meeting place from different cultures and ages and I do see across the board that many are not keeping tester usage as respect full, some cultures it’s normal to open packages to try them, and I’ve seen adult woman put mascara directly onto their eyes and lip sticks and glosses directly onto their mouths.
That being said,
When I was a teenager it was made know by the workers at Sephora that I was not welcome in the store. I did not shop there until I interviewed a year ago. And I don’t want other people to feel the same as I did.
At the time there were other places for me to go.
I completely agree that there are no third places. And while parents do drop their kids off at our doors, we are seen as a safe place for their kids to play.
With the unfortunate lack of education with the public of how to use a public tester safely and keep it sanitary, no one has worried of herpes and pink eye.
I think everyone needs to treat younger people with patience and grace, and be willing to remind them how to use items even if it’s helpful to a small amount. Which we need to remind everyone even adults.
I’m a master esthetician, I try to give them realistic explanations as to why they might not want to use certain products. They are more prone to retinol skin. But I do try to make their experience fun, they can come to me for and questions, and I make it know I can make then samples.
Ive just started ro hear about this and i dont frequent sephora that often so havent noticed the shift but i think your point about 3rd places is extremely valid. I hung out at the mall as a teenage and the movies and a local amusement park that i had a seaaon pass to. But even in my generation a lot kf safety concerns were worried aboit and i wasnt just hanging out around the neighborhood or in parks or whatever very often. Its definitely a mixture of all the factors that you discussed. And, if its becoming an issue, sephora definitely has a right to do something about it, require parents, etc. And the crazy destructive behavior absolutely needs to be corrected but i mean, we all growing up wanted to fit in and wear the right sneakers and jean, i despately wanted the razr cell phone, and begged my parents for certain things. And apprently for some girls right now its expensive skincare thats coveted.
Such an important conversation - I live in a major southern city and the lack of/decreasing access to physical 3rd places is a major issue here.
I think an important part of development is for kids/teens to have unstructured time with peers (w/o adult supervision) and agreed that increasingly that is happening online. With the saturation of advertising in online spaces, it’s not surprising to see kids wanting to be in Sephora or to see kids there acting in ways that a more developed brain wouldn’t (even though I’d add that especially post pandemic, we see lots of “bad behavior” from adults in retail spaces too).
Thanks for making this video and I hope that Sephora can implement policies to better protect their employees AND we can take steps to protect/expand third space options AND support parents who are navigating the complexity & demands of our modern society with much less public resources/support in the US than in other “developed” countries.
Literally just experienced this last week when I went into Sephora. It’s on the parents to 1. Protect children from social media 2. Teach them how to behave appropriately and 3. Educate them on the things they need vs. what they want. It honestly made me so sad to see little girls growing up way too fast. My little girl is 2 and it will be a long long time before she heads into a Sephora. I didn’t buy my first high end makeup product until I was 18 and it felt like a special moment. I want her to appreciate that moment when she makes her first purchase and not take it for granted.
Omgosh, this video could not have been better timed. I went physically into Sephora during “normal hours” (I usually arrive at like 10 AM when no one else is out lol) for the first time two weeks ago, and practically had a heart attack from the chaos and demographic change. I had no clue this had become a thing. Really appreciated hearing not only your perspective on this - which I thought was welcomingly big picture - but also what other thoughts have been raised.
I grew up in the 80’s definitely during the height of mall culture. My parents never just dropped us off at the mall. They accompanied us and at a certain age probably 13-14 they would let us go hang with our friends but they kept a watchful eye. Were there kids at the mall without parents, of course, but they were usually in the arcade or record stores. Girls were at Claire’s or Contempo Casuals Wet Seal. Stores that were specifically for young people. I agree I don’t see as many or any thing that is specifically for teenagers anymore. There’s not even any movies that are specifically for teenagers anymore that is if you don’t count superhero movies. But I did love your story about your young years going to the drugstore with your coupons and buying lipgloss. I did the same with my mom growing up.
I have seen videos of shoppers/workers saying that the tweens will have a full meltdown if they don't get a product they want. That's on the parents how they raised their kids, they can't say no and they give in. I do agree with your points on how when we grew up, I'm also 30, with Lizzie McGuire, That's So Raven talking about growing up. Tweens don't have stores like Limited Too or Justice to shop at so they go to Sephora. If the kids were just respectful then there wouldn't be this whole issue.
My issue isn't with pre teens and teens buying expensive skin care products. That's between them and their parents (assuming they are getting their money from them). My issue is with children (or people of any age) vandalising stores and damaging products. Which leads to staff having to clean unnecessary mess and customers not being able to see and test products in stores.
What a sensitive treatment of this situation. I agree with everything you said. Thanks for your compassion for these young girls who irritate me so much! You really understand. Thank you.
this was a really helpful perspective, thank you kelly!
I think parents have way more to answer for than anything else. I have an 18 yr old and I clearly remember taking my daughter to Sephora at 12/13 and being very intentional with what I let her buy. I’m talking about a lip gloss or light powder. For Christmas one year, I bought her a Sephora brand palette of pinky nudes because I felt it was age appropriate. Never would I have spent money on skin care, much less retinols. Also, pandemic or not, I still have to parent my child. I would not just stand by and let her destroy a store or talk back to staff.
At the end of the day, all we do is make excuses for behavior that’s not conducive to society. 🙄
I don’t think there is anything wrong with tweens and teens loving and showing interest in makeup. I can remember loving makeup since I was around 5 y/o because I had an aunt who loved it and I idolized her. BUT loving and showing an interest in and ruining products, disrespecting employees and generally being disruptive are different. They are being brats and have no home training!
Our Sephora in Sarasota, Florida at UTC mall has become disgusting...so sad. Was nice and upscale. Whoever is doing this destruction obviously wasn't raised correctly....no excuses!!! Ulta is becoming messy too.
There was a mom when I was in there completely ignoring her toddlers as they smeared each others faces in bronzer and eyeshadows. I looked at her, pointed it out and she ignored them and it. They looked like chimney sweeps by the time they were done with the bronzers and then worked on destroying the eyeshadows. The abject horror.
You make excellent points about the lack of a third space for teens and tweens.
If Sephora were smarter, they would create NEW stores to cater to that demographic. Call it something cool and catchy like “Face” and carry only age appropriate products..
Ugh I was in Sephora right before Christmas and there was a massive line ( understandably ) this group of preteens go running up to the cash register ( cutting everyone ) to ask if they could open some hand sanitizer to see how it smelled . That wasn't the worst part . There MOMS we're the store too , but too busy to notice that their daughters were being obnoxious
Kelly Gooch: Beautiful Person/Video Essayist. This deserved the hbomber guy "a measured response" title. Love seeing this kind of content from the beauty community!!
I don't like kids being marketed to with adult products.
They're kids, they should be KIDS!
I don't want every place to be child-friendly, I want spaces available that are specifically designed for children, tweens, teens, so us adults could have our own space.
Where are the KB Toys? Toys R Us? Limited Too? Delia's? Etc?
What happened? Did the world collectively decide that childhood wasn't a thing anymore?!?!
Im an adult now and TikTok and RUclips has me soooo influenced on buying pricey beauty products. Like I don’t even know how to describe it but the products make me happy so I buy it 🥺🥺
Was looking around in Sephora a few days ago. Two girls, looked like 15 years old, just started dancing and singing so loud. One of the girls said, “People are looking at us” the other girl said “If they don’t like it they can leave.” Done!! I’ll start doing all of my in store shopping at Nordstrom. I feel bad for the employees!
The term age appropriate has lost all meaning. Society as a whole used to be concerned about preserving the innocence of children, currently thrusting children into mature situations is the norm and even highly encouraged, "they're going to experience it eventually anyway..." is such a short sited, lazy and toxic mindset. It isn't the children's fault, but parents absolutely can influence and to an extent manage what children are exposed to, when and in what context. It makes all the difference to healthy delevelopment.
I’m 31. I remember in early middle school I was allowed to wear lip gloss and I had a stick concealer for any blemishes. Around 8th grade, I got my first mascara and eyeshadow. I was at a Walgreens with my mom and she let me pick them out. I chose a super pale, shimmery champagne-pink eyeshadow from Covergirl. I was so excited and wore it all around my whole eye every day 😂 I would also dot the mascara on my lash line on purpose and smudge it out as a makeshift eyeliner lol
I don’t think kids should be aloud in there unless accompanied by an adult also I personally think Tik tok is like a disease
This was a very interesting perspective that I hadn’t thought about! I always appreciate the time and thought you put into your videos! I haven’t been to a Sephora in forever, but I’ve seen some videos discussing this topic and i think the behavior of these children while in the store is what seems to be the biggest complaint in the videos I’ve seen. Not so much that they are in the store to begin with. And I do think that comes down to the parents that are raising these children!
I was having this discussion the other day! Until I was in college, my experience with adults was very limited, only teachers and parents who will always cater to my age. The TV was on the living room, so my parents had a lot of control of what we watched.
So, with a very limited exposure to adult world, the darings we made into them where more fractured. One might wear lipgloss, and that makes her feel grown up because it is a grown move. Of course, not all the advances were good, in my country I think there are a lot more smokers and some kids darings went in that direction. But at the end of the day, the more limited exposure also slowed and eased everyone's entry into adulthood (that awkward teenage phase), as high school is a bit of a beehive.
Social shows very specific aspects of adulthood and with that exposure it erases the pace of the transition.
It's social media to for why they want the things but the parents for how they act in sephora. My mom would never let me, first of all buy any of those items with her money, secondly go into any store and behave the way the do, let alone go in by myself.
I don't think people would be complaining if these kids had common curiosity or manners, which start at home.
We’re the same age and talking about when we were teens carefully making an informed purchase for makeup spoke so much to me. I remember saving up my college job paychecks to get the Lorac Unzipped palette as a Christmas gift for myself!
“Makeup is the new toy” best sums it up. When I was a teen I thought I had to get Tatcha or Drunk Elephant to get flawless skin because thats what influencers were pushing. The pressure is even worse now on Tiktok I can imagine. Going to a dermatologist helped my skin a lot as a teen. I wish that would be more encouraged than listening to influencers saying you NEED this product when they don’t know anything about dermatology.
Also I’m all for teens expressing their creativity with makeup but clearly they’re not mature enough to be in adult spaces like Sephora. Sadly, Euphoria is the only trendy “teen” show I can think of right now. We don’t have dorky girl role models going through their awkward phases anymore.
This is such an intelligent and astute conversation - I’ve never heard about the third space referred to when it comes to teen culture. Thank you for this innovative thought!
As a parent of 11 year olds I blame parents for it being as bad as it is. Kids need to be taught how to respectfully be in these places. Of course kids won’t be perfect.