Yes! I was in a relationship for over a year, knowing that he was a bad influence, and knowing that he wasn't the right one for me. So one day I just said to God, do you really have anything better for me, because I loved this guy alot, and he showed me a picture of another life, with another man, and in that moment all my feelings faded away, and I knew that the best thing to do was to break up, I felt terrible at the time, but only a couple of weeks later God showed me the man of my dreams, who lives for God, and wants to get to know him, more and more. And btw, we're getting married in november. So happy you preaching this to others! God bless you.
+blcharles602 better to be single than be in a marriage where your wife sleeps with you just once a month. happened to two christian guy friends i know.
+ECX0x100h marriage is so much more than who you sleep with and how often, but that situation does beg the question of is there an affection, care, and love in that relationship.
+MrShadowoftheSon These wives definitely love and care for their husbands. Sexually attracted? No. It's like when you're married to a woman and she gains 100 lbs on you and you lose sexual attraction to her. And she doesn't care how you feel about her weight and scolds you for bringing it up. Many American women don't care how their husbands feel. Yep marriage's tough.
I am so glad you made this because I am always trying to tell people not to settle! God has such an incredible plan for each of us and it breaks my heart when people settle and don't wait for that great love that God really has in store for them!
+Rachel Earls Vlogs and you are spot on about the breakup part. I had a horrible breakup that crushed my heart but ultimately it made me lean on God and my relationship with The Lord grew tremendously and prepared me to find my husband!
damn I literally find you everywhere didn't think you'll be in this Christian channel but yeah I'm trying to keep my faith up too , I just think it'll benefit me more and help me a better person if I do
+strengthOVERsize bro I feel you ! Ive been through a lot this year and there's just a lot of questions I have in life that I need answers but I need videos like this to know that God has a good plan for me
This helped so much. Recently broke up with my boyfriend of 4 and a half years. He was a great guy and I love him but I kept feeling like there were things that I just wasn't willing to settle with. I'm really hoping the Lord will heal me and reveal to me that I made the right decision. I feel like it's easier to break up with someone if there are major red flags. And there weren't. I just felt like there were many things that I want in a future husband that he didn't have. It's been a struggle and I'm just praying the Lord will show up because I'm so confused and scared.
i can relate. very well. oh so very well. the thing is, that nagging feeling that says you are in the wrong place doesn't go away. and i think it never was gonna go away. so be comforted in knowing that you listened to your heart.
Wame Mmolawa wow so glad you commented so I could see this. Happy to say I am now married to someone I met about 6 months after the breakup I mentioned. I’m so happy and I know that God brought us together ❤️don’t settle! The right one is out there and he’s better than you ever imagined!
I love how they look at each other lol. I'm 23 and I'm still a virgin and haven't had a relationship and I've been feeling a little pressured about that but I've always told myself that I don't want to settle. I want someone that is perfect for me not someone that I've picked just because "my time is running out."
I'm 21 and not had a relationship yet. I try to remind myself of God's plan and honestly, I don't want to settle. I only want to date once. But its a little scary thinking of messing that up and potentially finding someone wrong for me. Waiting in this area can build up some big expectations but I know I need to remind myself no one's perfect.
just keep waiting, don't try find someone yourself, God's gonna bring the right man into your life (probably when you don't really expect it!) Just pray over it persistently, take the example of Abraham when he pleaded with God to spare Sodom and gommora for the sake of his nephew, lot, he was persistent and purposeful! "trust in the Lord with all thine heart and lean not on thine own understanding. in all thy ways acknowledge him and he shall direct thy paths"
The reality of the situation is even if God brought a man and a woman together, there can be serious marital problems. God hooking people up does not make for the perfect marriage that you see on facebook with a couple holding each other on railroad tracks with the sun shining brightly in the background.
I totally relate. I'm 19 and exactly the same; people I talk to think I'm so strange. Sometimes I think I'll never find a Godly man. It can be hard, but I'm learning to trust God with this aspect of my life as well
Seriously loving your guys comments so much! Didn't realize this video would resonate with so many folks! PS I actually talk about our relationship (and some applicable advice) a few parts in my new book. Get it free here -> www.audible.com/jeff
+Jefferson Bethke Always love your videos! Thanks for taking the time out of your life to impart nuggets of truth and wisdom into others. I had to wait a little over 2 years to find Gods best for me. It was frustrating at times. But one thing God showed me, and maybe you could talk about in a future video, is preparing myself to be God's best for someone else. I was challenged to get in the Word everyday and let it begin to speak to me and change the way I think. The way we think effect the way we feel. Our feeling effect our emotions. Our emotions effect our choices. Choices effect our actions. Actions form habits, something we do or preform without thought. And our habits effect our character which tie us to our final outcome.
+Jefferson Bethke Thanks for this video. It's exactly my life right now. I'm so confused, tired, and broken with many events through this year. "There is something better. Not only for you, but for her also. If you know this isn't the best thing, you also keeping them from their best." - it hits at the right point. Actually, I know that God wants to let her go for a while. But it's really hard for me. Your video also one of His confirmation. Pretty clear and hit to the point. Thank you for such a great blessing to me.
+Jefferson Bethke I'm a little confused with this video because it seems to contradict your video from a while ago about how there isn't a "one" for everyone. It seems to me like you're saying here that there is a single person for everyone, though... So, I think I'm just confused about your wording here or something. If you could clear that up I'd appreciate it! Love your videos and your books! x
I've never seen someone have such love in their eyes when someone starts rambling. I do it too and I've only met one person who has understood. It's beautiful.
This really hit me hard. I've been struggling so much with my relationship with God and with my boyfriend. He's my best friend and I'm so scared to be away from him but I feel like God has a different plan for me. I don't know though but I've been praying about it and I just really wish I knew what to do.. I don't know what God is trying to teach me through all of this but it's really hard
I'm in a relationship right now and he is literally Gods answer to my prayers. My last relationship was with someone who, for various reasons, couldn't love me. Before that, I was abused. I was emotionally broken and depressed and lost. I settled. but now I'm with my best friend, a man who brings me closer to God and brings !e everything I ever dreamed of in a relationship. Don't settle, guys. God will answer you. Just give Him time to. He knows when you're ready.
Thank you so much Jeff. This topic has been going in my mind for so long, down to the point of depression. I have been best friends with this girl for three years (and it was really hard since we're country's away, 1,465km to be exact) and I have fallen too deep for her that I became obsessed with the fantasy that it would be "us" some day. While stumbling upon college, I realized that our calling and purpose is a lot different than I thought. She was a pastor's daughter and the daughter of my mum's best friens in her childhood so thats how we got to meet each other. She extremely wanted to be a missionary, but she can't go to missions because there is a rule in her church that only married couples can do missions so they won't be tempted. They also have a trend in their church that they marry very early for the sane reason. I can't judge because it happens to work for their ministry but I believe God has called me out to something that he can use my talents and best potential in something greater for me. I want to be a writer, excelling in the art of poetry (that's probably the reason why I'm a hopless romantic) and I want to create words that have impact, words that have God's power instilled inside them to inspire people and bring them closer to Christ. It was a great battle battle for me to give up on her but I know in my heart God has called me out to do this. I got so tired of her expectations of me to become her ideal man, but I knew I wasn't the person she was seeking. And it would be selfish for me to drag her in my journey that she wasn't meant to be in. I felt like I deserve a woman who would complement me in my life's purpose and support me 100 percent, but she had a different way of life to mine. I can't deny that she had been the greatest human being that understood me for who I was and I fell in love with Jesus more because of her, but sometimes like a scaffolding of a building, God will put people in your life to make you reach the higher skies but he takes them away in due time and I am thankful for that. This video has deeply inspired me to become the person God intended me to be and I finally feel free after feeling suffocated from that emotional burden. I recently wrote her a letter and some gifts as my goodbye for now as I am bettering myself in my craft and passion. I still haven't heard from her, and she very well may hate me now, but it was very well worth it to become the person that didn't need to hide behind the mask of my untrue self.
I love boyfriend, but I feel like my "red flags" are: -He's aloof and I'm very open. -I wear my heart on my sleeve and he has a hard shell, he even says I'm mush. -We don't emotionally connect. -I've never had that "he's the one for me" moment. -He is very scientific while I'm more emotional and think with my heart
Hey! Not sure if you guys are still together, but I'd encourage you to bring it to God and ask what He thinks of it :) I found myself in a similar situation, and at first I was trying to justify everything about him, but in the end I realized that I was indeed settling and I didn't believe that God had someone better for me.
im 22 years old and ive been single my whole life, ive definitely been lonely but this was just what i needed, i dont want to feel self pity any more or any pity for that matter, this was the inspiration i needed to stay patient to see how great of a person God is saving for me
+Jefferson Bethke Can you talk about physical things within dating? No one ever addresses it. They always go around or just say do what you feel is right. I think you would have a really good perspective in a talk like this.
Just finished your book this morning, really loved it I couldn't put it down. There where so many topics that challenged me in my own life and my own walk with God, especially when talking about topics you don't get talked about often in church, thank you. I will 100% be recommending your book to my friends and family. Again Thank You all the way from Edinburgh, God bless
I was fumbling around with my headphones and accidentally ended up on this video.. seeing the title made me freeze, literally 5 seconds beforehand I was thinking omg I need to figure this out and I was blessed with this video, I don't usually believe or read too much into signs but DAAAMN I'm soo happy I came across this!!!
I met someone at 16 years old who was 22. Sex before marriage was always something I was against - not even because of my faith, I actually didn't come to accept Jesus until a few months ago after this relationship ended - but because of respecting my own body. This relationship started off basically as sexual abuse. To justify having my body touched before marriage - I tried to make it work for FOUR YEARS. I went through him lying, committing infidelity constantly and eventually through emotional, spiritual, financial and physical abuse. It was hell and awful but I convinced myself I was dirty and unclean and had no other option because I'd given myself to him. It was about now that I became friends with a couple who loved Jesus. They were never pushy in any way but just their presence in my life and watching how they acted in comparison to how I was being treated made me realise. I escaped the person I was with and drew closer to these friends. I started going to their church and hanging out with them more and more often and eventually, after quite a few awful things happening of me trying to do things on my own and God going "IM RIGHT HERE!" - I gave my heart to him. I was leaving previously stated friends home after catering one of their sons' birthdays and I was in a car accident. The other car flipped and it was awful and I was extremely shaken up. The friends heard the commotion and after settling everything with ambulance/police/insurance exchange/etc - led me back to their place. They sat me down on their bed (away from their 5 kids because I was quite hysterical still and didn't want to scare them) and started praying for me and it was like - indescribable. This warmth of love and protection and peace even in all this just washed over me. Everything is so messed up in my life right now - it is insanely stressful and I have so many things going on. But I carry that burden with Jesus. Everything is better when you trust in Him. He is our Father, our Brother and our Friend. Take it from me - do NOT try to do it alone and do NOT ever view yourself as unworthy of getting out of a relationship because of differing circumstances. You can be made clean again. There is no way for me to become a virgin again but from accepting Him, my body is once again a temple for my future husband. Put your trust in Him and you will be set free!!!! Tattoo on my hand - "PSALMS 118:5" - "In my anguish I cried out to the Lord and he answered by setting me free!"
I'm so sorry about the terrible things that you've endured. But I am so happy that you have met these new friends and encountered Christ! I pray that you will continue to grow in your faith in Him and see that He has a wonderful plan for you and loves you. You are his treasured creation! I recommend checking out a daily devotional called Girlfriends in God (girlfriendsingod.com). I read it every morning and am sure you would be blessed by it as well. God bless!
+savvyandskye thankyou so much! You are so sweet! I will definitely check it out. :-) am currently at the Colour Conference (if you've never heard of it - it's a Sisterhood and has heaps of Preachers talking about the feminine heart in Christ. Sooooo good!!!!) but will check it out when I get home. Thankyou so much. Have a blessed day!
It's interesting how when I first started watching this series, I was really doubting my relationship. I stuck it out because I truly felt we were together for a reason. I asked God to remove him from my life if it wasn't meant to be, but to do it in a positive and mutual way. We've been together for 3 years and year number 2 was really rocky but we're here and happy. Sometimes you have to leave but sometimes God is preparing a breakthrough. We just need to learn to ask for wisdom, discernment, and guidance during difficult situations. God will give us the best if we are willing to allow Him to work. Thanks Jeff & Alyssa for sharing some great advice!
I really needed to hear this right now, my girlfriend of 2 years and I broke up recently and it was killing me. I didn't feel like she was the one, but I still loved her deeply, and when we separated I felt dead inside. I had lost my best friend, and so many memories with her. But now it's getting better day by day. If that breakup never happened, I never would've become the Christian man I am today. I was living in sin, but now I'm born again. I trust God with all my life and even when it gets hard I will still trust and praise him. Jesus heals all wounds, never give up.
I randomly just went across this video as i searched your name on RUclips and I'm going through the same thing as what you guys were talking about. I just came home from church today laying everything down at the foot of the cross. Cried my heart out as I told him I did what he asked me to do which is to let go of someone I thought and prayed for that's the best significant other for me to be with. But this video really just shifted my perspective on what's happening. We need to break our own hearts just to have the other person's heart beating with joy and happiness. Selfless love. Thank you.
I'm 23 years old and I was in a relationship where it wasn't working yet we were still holding on to one another. We even got engaged. It lasted for about a year and a half until it was broken off. To say that it hurt bad is an understatement. I tried to win him back, I tried bargaining with God, but nothing worked. It just wasn't Gods plan for my life. When I had exhausted all my options, in desperation I cried out to God and He answered- showing me that He was and is my first love. To go off of what Jeff said, the breakup was what I needed in order to put my focus back on God. I believe there is someone else that God has in store for me, but in the meantime He's showing me the importance of waiting for His timing and relying totally on Him for acceptance and love. I hope this is an encouragement to someone, for I can truly say and believe now that all things work together for good for those who love God and are called according to his purpose. The same is true for you. God bless and to God be the glory
I'm always glad with your videos about dating, but this one seemed to come out in the exactly time of my sadness. Last time I "loved" someone was 2 years ago and since that I couldn't even find other people beautiful, but this video and your marriage has been encouraging me to start over. You know when you feel like you just have to be open up and it will be your time? I just felt this. Thank you so much for your intimacy with God, he really uses you both more than you will ever know. God bless!
he once told me "I'm scared this relationship isn't what God has planned for me". Not because he wasn't feeling it, but because we both were and he didn't want it to end. We're still together and going strong. i feel like he's the one. and he would only date someone he sees a future with but i really hope I'm the one for him, too..
i'm 20 and i've been single my whole life but it doesnt bother me because i always pray for God to give me a husband and i patiently wait for Him because its His timing and not ours and this video just helped me so so much because i am currently interested in this guy and he's nice and always pursues me but i know that he is not the one for me and recently i've been thinking 'maybe he could be the one' but i really really know that he isn't and i've told him but he keeps pursuing me. on top of that he is not even Christian and i can't date a non-christian because i have this strong burning desire for Christ in my soul and i want somebody to share it with. Thanks so much for being a blessing Jeff and Alyssa
You guys' videos have helped me a lot :) I thank God that I found your channel. I was dating a non-believer for a while (it would be 3 years in September) and I broke up with him a couple days ago because I've been doing Bible studies and getting more serious about having a relationship with God and aligning my life with His commands. It was really hard, I cried for hours but I know God has great plans for me and I've never felt closer to Him and appreciative of His love and mercy :')
I'm 28 and this video is SO applicable! I'm at a point where i feel like there are no more options so the urge to settle is even stronger than it was when I was younger. This was so encouraging.
just been through a breakup with someone who I thought was the one and God has not left me throughout it, love your enemy, blessed are the gentle... God loves me more than anyone else could ever and this video was extremely encouraging to watch because it reassured me of that, definitely will be watching loads more of your videos! God will never leave you nor forsake you x
Great message, great people, and I hate to bring up a single negative thing... But maybe not interrupt or talk over your wife so much? She takes the courage and time to speak and then she is talked over. That would be so discouraging.
Thank you so much! 5 mins before I found this video, I was tearfully praying over a break up. I was praying for wisdom. Should I try and go back? I accidently bumped this video while watching something else, and your message was the answer to my prayer and just what I needed. God is so faithful. I thank you for your people God! Continue to bless and guide these two as they continue their ministery!
This video really got to my core. It is just what I needed. My boyfriend of 4 years and I broke up right before college just to give each other time and space to see what we want with our lives. I've been having the hardest time not talking to him because he was my best friend and i do care for him so much. But now that I dont have him I have really opened my heart to the Lord and really have grown in my faith. I know no matter what I will be with who I am supposed to at the end of the day. And if it is with my previous boyfriend great, if not then i am very excited to see the man the Lord brings into my life. God Bless and thank you for this video.
I'm 20 and spent the majority of my teen and college years investing time and energy in the wrong kind of people. With so many idealistic expectations around, the temptation to simply settle and the natural drive we have in all of us to find someone was incredibly destructive. It's when I became secure in myself, my abilities and most importantly God that the need for companionship lost its appeal. I'm at a stage in life where I'm valuing time with my loved ones, embracing the love of God and growing in faith in all things. It's a beauiful and sometimes painful experience, but it's worth it. Stay strong whoever you are. if he/she isn't right for you, don't stay to make them happy or make yourself feel a little less lonely. you are much more than that! God Bless and whole-heartedly all the best!
I can't even stress how much I needed this video today. After a huge break up I had where I was dating him for a year and at 5 months I knew it was never gonna work. I felt so lonely these past couple days and I just needed to hear those words at the end. Thank you. 😊
I'm with you on that one about you being even closer with God after the break up. Sometimes that kind of pain is needed for us to grow ourselves even more and prepare even better for the next (and hopefully last) relationship.
Thanks so much for this video! I was great. I personally tend to fall more on the end of legalism, as in I see one slight flaw in a guy and see it as a red flag. How can I get away from that legalism and know what things are truly red flags, and what other things are ok?
I am a living testament to this. I'm 32 and divorced. Married at 22. Before I got married, while dating, things felt "not right" here and there. There were "red flags" left and right. Btw, we met at church, and I was involved in leadership at the time. I was also afraid of starting over (like he mentioned). In hindsight, it is SOOOOOOO much better to make the difficult-but-right choice, than to, later on, deal with the consequences of a wrong choice. Please don't take the "easy way out". It may seem easy now, but you will likely regret it later. Hebrews 12:10-11 This video hits every nail on the head.
This video spoke directly to my heart; I have been in an unevenly yoked relationship for 5 years with a great guy, and haven't had the courage to walk away from it. Thank you so much for your guidance and ancouraging words today!!
I'm sitting here crying because I feel like this video was made for me. Thank you both SO much for letting God speak directly through you both to my heart! Oh my word! Just the words I needed to hear. God bless you both. Praying for you guys and love you bunches!
Totally confirmation for a 2 year relationship that I knew in 1 year that God has shown me this is not the best. Thank you soo much!!! The toughest part is when that person doesn't want to let go, and family has gotten involved. Trying to write your own love story, knowing fully well God isn't in it. Thank you soo much
This is soo true. I just got out of a relationship with a "good christian boy". Lately i've been praying more, reading the word more and truly asking for guidance and one of the things i felt is that he was not the man for me so we broke up. This video truly hit home. LOve you guys! THANKYOU!
god, this is exactly what my ex is going through. she loves me, she cares for me, but im not the best for her. We were best friends, we were lovers. I took her for granted and ended up treating her like crap because of it. shes so right for doing but it hurts so bad to acknowledge it :(
I listened to this when I was going out with my ex a year ago. It really spoke to me, but I couldn't face the inevitable. I did end up ending the relationship. I'm still healing but I am utterly thankful that I listened to God and did what he was asking me to do. Thanku Jesus x
Thank you for this video! I was feeling alone this and i turned to God and i told him how i felt about one girl and how it hurts to think about her after it all.ended . I asked The Lord for comfort and hours later this video shows up and i knew God was giving me answers . THANK YOU !!
Thank you so very much for this video. I am in a relationship right now and it is long distance. I am a senior in college and he is in my hometown. But for the past couple weeks I have felt something is off. Not because our relationship is bad but because he is not a Christian. This is what I really needed to hear. God has blessed me with this video and I just want to say thank you. It is not easy, I have spent ten months with this guy and my heart hurts but I know God is by me 100%
I just got out of a relationship of four years & everything you guys said I related to! I was that person who told myself all these things but deep down in my heart, for the last two years of my relationship I felt god telling me there was someone else for me. So, I finally listened to God, and have been single for 2 months, and this is the best I've ever felt. I'm just concentrating on my faith right now, my future husband will come later. Be courageous in the Lord ♡ 😊
This is so instructive !! I "ended" it right before the second date once I had a bad feeling even though he was an amazing individual, and it was exciting, but after praying about it I got a clear answer... I could see no future in us. I couldn't see him as a spouse. So it was a big red flag--- it's only been a day after I told him I didn't see us "going anywhere." But I still like him and it was extremely hard to tell him no. Because it's still hurtful. I HATED putting him through it. CAN YOU PLEASE DO A VIDEO ON HOW TO DEAL WITG SITUATIONS LIKE THIS? By the way your testimony in God is incredible ❤️
wow Jefferson! thank you so much! God did know I really needed this video. I realized this month that my boyfriend is not the one I'll love my whole life. But yeah, when we started dating we prayed a lot about it and we thought we were doing the thing God wanted us to do. But know I know I'm not truly in love with this guy. He is really nice and a godly man. And he really needs me kind of. He loves me with his whole heart. So it's really hard realizing I'm going to break up and leave him alone. But what you said, like: when you say yes to this person, you say no to the guy God sends. I think we settled to much. We were both really serious about our relationship so when I think of all the dreams we had it's even harder. I doubt a lot what to do. I've no idea what God wants me to do. So to y'all: please don't settle!!! Don't dream to big when you're only 0,5 year together. Maybe it seems to be a long time but it's not. Realize you both can still change and you both can go different ways. Otherwise you'll be in my situation. And it's so hard cause I don't know what to do!!!!
I just broke up with my boyfriend and I know he wasn't the one for me and I justified him all the time, and I just started to think I should try again and watching this video just made me realize that it was right decision to leave him! thank you!!!
This is amazing! I just got out of a year and a half relationship and this is something I'm learning. If there is one thing you shouldn't settle for it's the one person your going to spend the rest of your life with.
I was literally talking about this topic this morning with my bible study leader. Amazing timing- thank you so much for this. It was both affirming and encouraging. Love you guys!
Thank you so much for this. I really needed to hear this advice since I am experiencing some dating issues on my own right now. This guy and i like each other, but I just have this feeling that things won't work out in the long run. It's hard to have self control when you're getting attention.
I saw this video when it first came out, but I kind of ignored it. I'm 19 and my first relationship just ended after almost a year. I feel now that this is the reason it didn't work out. We were and still are great friends, but being together as a couple for the rest of our lives probably would not have been the best. I would sometimes find myself realizing this, but brushing it off mainly because I just wanted to date one time. I didn't want to have to go through breakups and drama (That's why I didn't really date in High School). So although I'm still kind of sad that it ended, I'm excited to know that God has an amazing woman for me somewhere down the road. Thank you for this great encouragement.
Going through this exact thing right now.. Had to break up with my boyfriend of two years because I realized I was settling. It is one of the hardest things I've done. I'm trusting that God will carry me and show me who "the one" is!
I wish I had seen this video a year or two ago. A couple months ago I broke things off with my boyfriend of 2.5 years. I knew pretty early on that he wasn't someone I wanted to marry, but I convinced myself otherwise. I could've spared him a lot of heartbreak and both of us a lot of lost time and opportunities. You two explained this so perfectly, and though I know I did the right thing, and have been confident in my decision, this was just another confirmation. God bless you both.
I recently turned 18 and graduated so I've felt a lot of (for the most part) unintentional pressure from others, especially older Christians, to be in a relationship or start looking into one. In this culture it is unusual for someone to be an adult and never have dated before. This is what I needed to hear today, that's its good to wait for God's best. Thanks! 😊 BTW Montana buds! Best state ever! :)
i was at gateway last night and wow your word hit me so hard! thank you so much! God Bless you man keep doing what your doing!!!! i am following you now and i cant wait to watch all your videos!
I love you guys. Thanks for the encouragement and advice. I’m going through this exactly right now and am in the grieving process of my breakup. This whole break up has brought me to my knees before God and I’ve been reflecting on what I need to work on in regards to my relationship with God, how to love people better, and how to love my future significant other better. Again thanks you guys, God bless.
Holy cow I thought I was the only one in this... Whoever things didn't feel right in my previous relationship, I often thought it was because I wasn't doing something right. Thank you for this video.
I had been struggling recently because the father of my child has met someone new and I felt like we broke up all over again. anyway since I found out about this I felt like I shouldnt have ended it with him but after watching this video it had reminded me and confirmed the reason I had finished with him 1: I would always justify and convince myself that it could work and I should just be with him' 2: it always felt wrong but I would just stay with him because I love him and want this to work even through I knew deep down it wouldnt 3: there are so many red flags he watches porn, being around made me open to things I shouldnt have been ( stuff I never had agreed with before) and he smokes weed. there are so many more but those are the main ones I really needed to see this video. although im still struggling I know it was the right decision but im happy again but still have my moments but im working on it Thank you.
Exactly what I needed to hear. It is so difficult not having a mother figure in my life to just seek advise or counsel I enjoy watch your videos it really brings my life into perspective.
A few months ago I watched this video and the truth was so so so hard to swallow. But today I'm so proud of what God has done in my life He gave me the strength and courage (it took so much) to let it go. And He has been ever faithful I never cried once I am able to focus and in fact my walk with Him has never been more lively and strong. And that puts God back into His place in my heart and mind and I thank Him and you Jeff and Alyssa for that! You guys are God's mouthpieces 😌
I started writing a lot to post on here publicly but then deleted it because I heard the answers I needed to hear. I soo badly want to be with this amazing girl who I can put as this Galadriel walking into the dark forest to rescue Frodo or something, shit got real intense when I met her. But, our time together was short lived, she has to go back wherever God sent her from. I've become soo close to her vice versa we both played the "playing hard to get" game. eventually that backfired because now we are not going to be together ever. Let's just say I'm going to respect her parents wishes. I also need help. I just came out of the valley of the shadow death and now I see the light. I always take a heavy breaths to calm myself when I say to myself, don't settle my bro, don't settle! Jeff this video is soo inspiring that I've been back here to watch it 3 times already. thanks uso, Te Atua te aroa.
Advice to stack on top of what you guys said: be careful not to fall into the "sunk funds" trap. What is a sunk fund? The past has happened and there's nothing you can change it - what you can change is the future. Some people in relationships are scared to break up because they need to make those 2 years "worth it". You can choose to make the rest of your life miserable, or to cut it off with your significant other and to make the rest of your life awesome once you find "the right one".
Ahhh I really needed this right now! As a young woman who just graduated from college, is is pursuing her Masters it's hard. A lot of my friends are getting married right now and it keeps making me think, " where's my Adam?" and "what's wrong with me/ what am I doing wrong?"
This relates to me in so many levels right now! Thank you so much! It's like I told you my situation and you just responded every single comment from me. I literally jaw dropped each time I heard something that I needed to hear. God bless you guys!
I completely agree with this. Its far better to wait as long as it takes for the right person to come along than to settle for someone who is simply "convenient".
These dating videos are very encouraging. Thank you so much! Sometimes people can't help me when I'm struggling, but these videos have really helped me during my lowest times.
Man, I've been struggling hardcore with this the last week or so. Preciate this video big time. I know God has that for me but sometimes it feels like it's never a reality for me. Thanks for posting this!
I was with someone for about 2 ½ years (engaged for the last year) and before we got engaged I had this feeling deep down that this might not be God's best for me. He is an amazing guy and I loved him so I thought maybe the feeling would go away, but it didn't. It took a lot of faith and courage, but I ended things. It was sad, but it feels good to know that it's what God called me to do!
I know this is kind of late but thank you for this video, I just got out of a relationship that I wanted and not the one God wanted. This just makes the break up easier because it helps me know that God does have a Christian woman out there for me and I shouldn’t settle for less but trust in his plan. Thank you and love your videos!!
Singles shoutout!! haha...Always wonderful when people remember that there are singles in this world!! :) It can be hard being single! And hard to encourage singles...I'm 29, never been in a relationship, and I'm happy being single, but it's SO HARD to encourage other singles! So often I hear the, 'Yeah, but...' and it can be so frustrating! I know God created us for relationships, but like you said, sometimes it takes time. And I wish people would use that time for service rather than griping. Thanks for this video!!
I'm 32, single Christian man who's never kissed a girl. I've asked out several Christian girls out only to get rejected. It's been really tough. I told God that if I don't get a woman by 33, I will go see hookers. I risk hellfire, but it's too hard to live without a woman's touch. It's a big gamble.
Your channel is ALWAYS my go to for christian dating advise or words of wisdom and encouragement. Thank you, thank you, thank you for what you do. This was EXACTLY what I needed and isn't the first time that I felt one of your messages speaking directly to me. I love how God works like that by speaking through others!
This really blessed by heart today, although I have never been in a relationship. its trusting in God who that person he wants me to be with and not settling for less then that. Thank you for sharing.
I fell away from God and started to come back to God after I met someone. We got engaged after we had been living together. I knew that I wasn’t attracted to him as I should be but as I felt secure and we got on we married. He’s still not a Christian and not remotely interested and I am seeking God more and my walk with God. I feel the same way about him as I did at the start but stayed with him as he was good companion and provided much needed security after my problems with anxiety, cognitive impairment that I’ve had since childhood. I’m sure God wants me to focus on him and keep praying for him but it’s difficult as it’s not an ideal situation. Just got to make it work.
Thanks for the video. Really, thanks. This past days I've been doubting the decision of breaking of a relationship I had for two and a half years, even though we broke up like five months ago. Needless to say, this video made me cry, but it brought me peace. When Alyssa talked about staying in the relationship because of having invested so much time... Well, that was always the argument I would give. Point is, these days I was feeling really scared and at a certain point in the video I felt so much peace. Thank you. My heart feels so much steadier right now. Thank you guys so much! God bless you!
This is all so true. It is so hard to say goodbye for someone. I still have such a hard time letting go of the man I love. we were together 4 years, he was my best friend, and we have a daughter together. but we arent good for each other anymore. and ive come to realize that I was only staying with him because, like you said, I didnt want to start over and feel like all that time invested was wasted...I will always love him and wish it would have worked out but I was the one always trying and he just seem to hurt me all the time. so I have to come to terms that he was not Gods best for me and nor I for him. Its a tough process but these messages help change my perspective. (:
this helped me break up with my ex boyfriend. it was soooooo tough, but it was so worth it! Even in my singleness I am happier, I am closer to God, and I am excited for the future. Thank u guys
first time I watched your video and first of all I want to say I admire you both so much! such an inspirational couple, many more years of love and joy! secondly I was in the same spot about two years ago when I was faced with the decision of breaking it off with my then boyfriend of 3 years. it was so hard, it took all of the strength God gave me and faith to break it off with the person. I knew he was not the one. the three months after we're the darkest points of my life with other hardships going on in my life but I have to say that these last two years I have never loved God more than I do now and gotten to know Him through that difficult year. now I committed my future to Christ knowing that if He does or doesn't have a special spouse for me, then I will still be happy and still be whole in Jesus. there are times though I daydream about a future spouse lol. but thank you so much for the video and God bless! :)
Jeff and Alyssa, I just want to say thank you so much for putting these videos up because it's great to hear such great advice from a married couple who isn't to much older then me. This video really hit home for me because I went through a really bad break up last summer in which my girlfriend of 3+ years ended things with me sort of because of the reasons that Alyssa talked about with each of us caring for each other but there still being some red flags in our relationship as a whole. While now I can look back and say that it was really for the best I related so much when you guys talked about trusting that God has someone out there that's even more perfect for me. I struggled so long after she broke up with me and getting over it because I thought that she was the best thing for me and that no relationship could ever be better then that one and I was honestly mad at God because I wondered for so long what I had done for Him to have taken it away from me just like that. At first I just prayed that He would bring her back to me and eventually I realized He wasn't. So, instead I started praying for Him to just heal me and not feel so upset and sad all the time. He gradually healed me and as I healed I started to pray that He would just show me His vision for me. I didn't ask for anything specific but just that He would lead me wherever He wanted me to go and meet who He wanted me to meet. To this day I still have been praying that same prayer and by learning more about prayer (and listening to you guys lol) I've started to pray that in my waiting He prepares me to be the best version of myself that I can be when He brings the right girl to me. It's crazy how God can use certain situations in our lives to bring us closer to Him and looking back now I am very thankful for it and just wanted to say thank you to you guys because you have been a tremendous influence in my life in such a positive way. I watch every video you guys put up and just try to take in every bit of information that I can. You guys are great role models and just know that what you are saying is reaching people and helping people so please keep it coming. If you're ever in New Jersey feel free to stop by for some coffee! -Drew
In my last relationship I felt a lot of red flags, the main two were touchiness and him trying too hard to change for me. He tried to change who he was in thought that I'd love him more. He was also really touchy and clingy, whenever I asked for space he wasn't capable of giving it to me. Which I've come to understand that he probably didn't realize how clingy he was, he couldn't help it at times but I knew very well he wasn't meant for me. Although recently, I met this guy and talking to him or seeing him. I can feel warmth in my chest, like God set it up. I had been talking to him while I was having thoughts about my current relationships and I had met him at a wedding. We danced together (He was very shy 😌) and became good friends but after my breakup, he was there for me. Well we went on a date and have talked about a relationship this past week or two. It hasn't been that long with this boy but I haven't been able to find any red flags with him within the two months, I love it. It might change over time but my gosh, the feeling I had after I met him and danced with him. Felt like faith and grace and as if God gave me the courage and faith to speak/dance with him that night. The best part, he's Christian too. What are the odds of feeling a Grace to ask someone to dance with you and later on discover they had the same faith as you? 🙈
I REALLY REALLY NEED SOME ADVICE. PLEASE! I met a born again believer online and we started dating (long distance). I've never met him but we've talked on the phone and all. We loved talking about bible prophecy and watching sermons and everything together. He said he thinks about me daily (and I do too) and our theology/doctrine and outlook on life is very similar. We prayed for each other and genuinely loved and cared about each other. He's been through a lot - was in a gang and then got born again. I'm a university student and 22 years old. He is 26. We were together for 2 years (online). I was really really emotionally involved with him. But we ran into some problems (please don't think that I'm bashing him right now - I have respect for him but I genuinely want to know if what I'm doing is right). So he would tell me not to talk to certain boys who he thought were trying to flirt with me (I gave him my fb and he would see the convos). He said males are hunters and he's doing this for the good of our relationship. I've never dated before so I took his word for it. We've broken up and gotten back together several times. He cheated on me once but he admitted it to me and was very repentant so I forgave him. He also mentioned that he was fighting temptation and watched porn 1 or 2 times and that he knows there's no excuse for it and that it's terribly wrong. We did have our differences too though - I study engineering and want to pursue that (and stay home for a few years after having a child) but he believes that I should stay at home and he'd work. We often face temptation too and he asked me to send some...inappropriate pictures but I refused because it's very fleshly and sinful. He would always ask me where I was, who I was with, and always thought I was talking/flirting with other boys. Recently, we got into another one of our frequent arguments and broke up. I might have acted petty out of anger - I admit that. I have the strongest urge to reach out and make up with him (I find myself 'pining' for him everyday and I know it's out of emotional attachment and first love) but I don't know if that's the right and Godly thing to do. I don't know if I should reenter the relationship. I don't want to feel like I've...forever let go of something that could have possibly worked out if it translated from long distance to real life. But I also don't want to "settle" because I feel like THIS IS IT. He gets me. I'll never find somebody who embraces my quirkiness and understands me this well. Lord have mercy on me. Why must this be so...difficult? Any advice would be appreciated.
Oh my gosh I've watched this video before but now I really feel it's talking to me 😱!! It's like that's what God wants me to know right now... I can't thank Him enough. God bless you both Jeff & Alyssa
"There are many christian boys, but a few godly men" WOW.
More like... There are few Christian boys and even fewer godly men :p haha, I hardly know any Christian guys in my life to begin with
+Rachena S It's true.
+Soso Li I see it the other way around. :P
There are few Christian girls and even fewer godly women.
Hahaha!
+Sarah. x it sure is😊
Unfortunately, yes.
No offense meant, but if you're in a relationship for several years and still have doubts, there's something VERY wrong.
What if you're just a doubtful person or a perfectionist?:p
@@meaningfullife7866 Not necessarily. It depends on what the doubts are and what’s causing them, No?
Yes! I was in a relationship for over a year, knowing that he was a bad influence, and knowing that he wasn't the right one for me. So one day I just said to God, do you really have anything better for me, because I loved this guy alot, and he showed me a picture of another life, with another man, and in that moment all my feelings faded away, and I knew that the best thing to do was to break up, I felt terrible at the time, but only a couple of weeks later God showed me the man of my dreams, who lives for God, and wants to get to know him, more and more. And btw, we're getting married in november. So happy you preaching this to others! God bless you.
Arna Nielsen how that work out?
Wow please update
Hypergamy
Been single for 5 years now and I needed to hear this video. Thank you guys and I'll stay in faith.
+blcharles602 You're never alone, brother.
+blcharles602 Enjoy it like I am b/c I have seen so many of my friends end up hurt and angry.
+blcharles602 better to be single than be in a marriage where your wife sleeps with you just once a month. happened to two christian guy friends i know.
+ECX0x100h marriage is so much more than who you sleep with and how often, but that situation does beg the question of is there an affection, care, and love in that relationship.
+MrShadowoftheSon These wives definitely love and care for their husbands. Sexually attracted? No. It's like when you're married to a woman and she gains 100 lbs on you and you lose sexual attraction to her. And she doesn't care how you feel about her weight and scolds you for bringing it up. Many American women don't care how their husbands feel. Yep marriage's tough.
I am so glad you made this because I am always trying to tell people not to settle! God has such an incredible plan for each of us and it breaks my heart when people settle and don't wait for that great love that God really has in store for them!
+Rachel Earls Vlogs and you are spot on about the breakup part. I had a horrible breakup that crushed my heart but ultimately it made me lean on God and my relationship with The Lord grew tremendously and prepared me to find my husband!
+Rachel Earls Vlogs ditto what you just say 10x times
+Rachel Earls Vlogs I've had the complete opposite effect. :(
I just became celibate. It's exciting to go on this journey but I'm trying my best to keep my faith up. I even question why I'm doing it.
+strengthOVERsize Wishing you the best man, asking questions is the key to learning.
damn I literally find you everywhere didn't think you'll be in this Christian channel but yeah I'm trying to keep my faith up too , I just think it'll benefit me more and help me a better person if I do
+EagleZtoTheGrave I've been asking ever since making the decision. It's all new to me
+jenver ouano Lol yeah I guess yall wouldn't expect me here. I'm tryna get back on track. Going through depression so I'm looking for answers.
+strengthOVERsize bro I feel you ! Ive been through a lot this year and there's just a lot of questions I have in life that I need answers but I need videos like this to know that God has a good plan for me
The way that Alyssa looks at you 😍 you can't tell she is in love with you so much !!!!!! Love y'all and hope to find a relationship like yours!
I agree
I see that too
This helped so much. Recently broke up with my boyfriend of 4 and a half years. He was a great guy and I love him but I kept feeling like there were things that I just wasn't willing to settle with. I'm really hoping the Lord will heal me and reveal to me that I made the right decision. I feel like it's easier to break up with someone if there are major red flags. And there weren't. I just felt like there were many things that I want in a future husband that he didn't have. It's been a struggle and I'm just praying the Lord will show up because I'm so confused and scared.
i can relate. very well. oh so very well. the thing is, that nagging feeling that says you are in the wrong place doesn't go away. and i think it never was gonna go away. so be comforted in knowing that you listened to your heart.
Wame Mmolawa wow so glad you commented so I could see this. Happy to say I am now married to someone I met about 6 months after the breakup I mentioned. I’m so happy and I know that God brought us together ❤️don’t settle! The right one is out there and he’s better than you ever imagined!
I love how they look at each other lol. I'm 23 and I'm still a virgin and haven't had a relationship and I've been feeling a little pressured about that but I've always told myself that I don't want to settle. I want someone that is perfect for me not someone that I've picked just because "my time is running out."
I'm 21 and not had a relationship yet. I try to remind myself of God's plan and honestly, I don't want to settle. I only want to date once. But its a little scary thinking of messing that up and potentially finding someone wrong for me. Waiting in this area can build up some big expectations but I know I need to remind myself no one's perfect.
this comment is me but I'm a year older
just keep waiting, don't try find someone yourself, God's gonna bring the right man into your life (probably when you don't really expect it!) Just pray over it persistently, take the example of Abraham when he pleaded with God to spare Sodom and gommora for the sake of his nephew, lot, he was persistent and purposeful! "trust in the Lord with all thine heart and lean not on thine own understanding. in all thy ways acknowledge him and he shall direct thy paths"
The reality of the situation is even if God brought a man and a woman together, there can be serious marital problems. God hooking people up does not make for the perfect marriage that you see on facebook with a couple holding each other on railroad tracks with the sun shining brightly in the background.
I totally relate. I'm 19 and exactly the same; people I talk to think I'm so strange. Sometimes I think I'll never find a Godly man. It can be hard, but I'm learning to trust God with this aspect of my life as well
+HaylieGrace I'm 31 and haven't found a Godly woman. If you think waiting is hard at age 19...
I love how Alyssa looks and pays so much attention when Jeff speaks! ✌🏽
Seriously loving your guys comments so much! Didn't realize this video would resonate with so many folks! PS I actually talk about our relationship (and some applicable advice) a few parts in my new book. Get it free here -> www.audible.com/jeff
+Jefferson Bethke Always love your videos! Thanks for taking the time out of your life to impart nuggets of truth and wisdom into others.
I had to wait a little over 2 years to find Gods best for me. It was frustrating at times. But one thing God showed me, and maybe you could talk about in a future video, is preparing myself to be God's best for someone else. I was challenged to get in the Word everyday and let it begin to speak to me and change the way I think.
The way we think effect the way we feel. Our feeling effect our emotions. Our emotions effect our choices. Choices effect our actions. Actions form habits, something we do or preform without thought. And our habits effect our character which tie us to our final outcome.
+Jefferson Bethke Thanks for this video. It's exactly my life right now. I'm so confused, tired, and broken with many events through this year.
"There is something better. Not only for you, but for her also. If you know this isn't the best thing, you also keeping them from their best." - it hits at the right point.
Actually, I know that God wants to let her go for a while. But it's really hard for me.
Your video also one of His confirmation. Pretty clear and hit to the point.
Thank you for such a great blessing to me.
What if your already married, and you found out you didn't chose the best person? You should make a video on that too
Also if you got kids with the one you married
+Jefferson Bethke I'm a little confused with this video because it seems to contradict your video from a while ago about how there isn't a "one" for everyone. It seems to me like you're saying here that there is a single person for everyone, though... So, I think I'm just confused about your wording here or something. If you could clear that up I'd appreciate it! Love your videos and your books! x
I love how she just stares at him agreeing with everything he says. She's so pleased and proud of him which warms my heart.
I've never seen someone have such love in their eyes when someone starts rambling. I do it too and I've only met one person who has understood. It's beautiful.
This really hit me hard. I've been struggling so much with my relationship with God and with my boyfriend. He's my best friend and I'm so scared to be away from him but I feel like God has a different plan for me. I don't know though but I've been praying about it and I just really wish I knew what to do.. I don't know what God is trying to teach me through all of this but it's really hard
Did it work out well for you?:) Just curious. 4 years has passed since this comment.
I'm in a relationship right now and he is literally Gods answer to my prayers. My last relationship was with someone who, for various reasons, couldn't love me. Before that, I was abused. I was emotionally broken and depressed and lost. I settled. but now I'm with my best friend, a man who brings me closer to God and brings !e everything I ever dreamed of in a relationship. Don't settle, guys. God will answer you. Just give Him time to. He knows when you're ready.
Thank you so much Jeff. This topic has been going in my mind for so long, down to the point of depression. I have been best friends with this girl for three years (and it was really hard since we're country's away, 1,465km to be exact) and I have fallen too deep for her that I became obsessed with the fantasy that it would be "us" some day. While stumbling upon college, I realized that our calling and purpose is a lot different than I thought.
She was a pastor's daughter and the daughter of my mum's best friens in her childhood so thats how we got to meet each other. She extremely wanted to be a missionary, but she can't go to missions because there is a rule in her church that only married couples can do missions so they won't be tempted. They also have a trend in their church that they marry very early for the sane reason. I can't judge because it happens to work for their ministry but I believe God has called me out to something that he can use my talents and best potential in something greater for me. I want to be a writer, excelling in the art of poetry (that's probably the reason why I'm a hopless romantic) and I want to create words that have impact, words that have God's power instilled inside them to inspire people and bring them closer to Christ. It was a great battle battle for me to give up on her but I know in my heart God has called me out to do this. I got so tired of her expectations of me to become her ideal man, but I knew I wasn't the person she was seeking. And it would be selfish for me to drag her in my journey that she wasn't meant to be in. I felt like I deserve a woman who would complement me in my life's purpose and support me 100 percent, but she had a different way of life to mine. I can't deny that she had been the greatest human being that understood me for who I was and I fell in love with Jesus more because of her, but sometimes like a scaffolding of a building, God will put people in your life to make you reach the higher skies but he takes them away in due time and I am thankful for that.
This video has deeply inspired me to become the person God intended me to be and I finally feel free after feeling suffocated from that emotional burden. I recently wrote her a letter and some gifts as my goodbye for now as I am bettering myself in my craft and passion. I still haven't heard from her, and she very well may hate me now, but it was very well worth it to become the person that didn't need to hide behind the mask of my untrue self.
I love boyfriend, but I feel like my "red flags" are:
-He's aloof and I'm very open.
-I wear my heart on my sleeve and he has a hard shell, he even says I'm mush.
-We don't emotionally connect.
-I've never had that "he's the one for me" moment.
-He is very scientific while I'm more emotional and think with my heart
Hey! Not sure if you guys are still together, but I'd encourage you to bring it to God and ask what He thinks of it :)
I found myself in a similar situation, and at first I was trying to justify everything about him, but in the end I realized that I was indeed settling and I didn't believe that God had someone better for me.
@@evelynw2935 I was setting and justifying all his actions and lack of emotional intimacy with me.
We broke up.
@@stephanieh5478 Sorry to hear that. Praying for healing 🙏
im 22 years old and ive been single my whole life, ive definitely been lonely but this was just what i needed, i dont want to feel self pity any more or any pity for that matter, this was the inspiration i needed to stay patient to see how great of a person God is saving for me
+Jefferson Bethke Can you talk about physical things within dating? No one ever addresses it. They always go around or just say do what you feel is right. I think you would have a really good perspective in a talk like this.
Okay so your video kinda covered it I guess. Just watched it. Thanks! And if you have any input off of what I've said so far I'd love to hear it!
Just finished your book this morning, really loved it I couldn't put it down. There where so many topics that challenged me in my own life and my own walk with God, especially when talking about topics you don't get talked about often in church, thank you. I will 100% be recommending your book to my friends and family. Again Thank You all the way from Edinburgh, God bless
Charlotte Hutton
Wow that’s awesome :)
I was fumbling around with my headphones and accidentally ended up on this video.. seeing the title made me freeze, literally 5 seconds beforehand I was thinking omg I need to figure this out and I was blessed with this video, I don't usually believe or read too much into signs but DAAAMN I'm soo happy I came across this!!!
Wow that’s so cool!
I met someone at 16 years old who was 22. Sex before marriage was always something I was against - not even because of my faith, I actually didn't come to accept Jesus until a few months ago after this relationship ended - but because of respecting my own body. This relationship started off basically as sexual abuse. To justify having my body touched before marriage - I tried to make it work for FOUR YEARS. I went through him lying, committing infidelity constantly and eventually through emotional, spiritual, financial and physical abuse. It was hell and awful but I convinced myself I was dirty and unclean and had no other option because I'd given myself to him. It was about now that I became friends with a couple who loved Jesus. They were never pushy in any way but just their presence in my life and watching how they acted in comparison to how I was being treated made me realise. I escaped the person I was with and drew closer to these friends. I started going to their church and hanging out with them more and more often and eventually, after quite a few awful things happening of me trying to do things on my own and God going "IM RIGHT HERE!" - I gave my heart to him. I was leaving previously stated friends home after catering one of their sons' birthdays and I was in a car accident. The other car flipped and it was awful and I was extremely shaken up. The friends heard the commotion and after settling everything with ambulance/police/insurance exchange/etc - led me back to their place. They sat me down on their bed (away from their 5 kids because I was quite hysterical still and didn't want to scare them) and started praying for me and it was like - indescribable. This warmth of love and protection and peace even in all this just washed over me. Everything is so messed up in my life right now - it is insanely stressful and I have so many things going on. But I carry that burden with Jesus. Everything is better when you trust in Him. He is our Father, our Brother and our Friend. Take it from me - do NOT try to do it alone and do NOT ever view yourself as unworthy of getting out of a relationship because of differing circumstances. You can be made clean again. There is no way for me to become a virgin again but from accepting Him, my body is once again a temple for my future husband. Put your trust in Him and you will be set free!!!!
Tattoo on my hand - "PSALMS 118:5" - "In my anguish I cried out to the Lord and he answered by setting me free!"
I'm so sorry about the terrible things that you've endured. But I am so happy that you have met these new friends and encountered Christ! I pray that you will continue to grow in your faith in Him and see that He has a wonderful plan for you and loves you. You are his treasured creation! I recommend checking out a daily devotional called Girlfriends in God (girlfriendsingod.com). I read it every morning and am sure you would be blessed by it as well. God bless!
+savvyandskye thankyou so much! You are so sweet! I will definitely check it out. :-) am currently at the Colour Conference (if you've never heard of it - it's a Sisterhood and has heaps of Preachers talking about the feminine heart in Christ. Sooooo good!!!!) but will check it out when I get home. Thankyou so much. Have a blessed day!
Doctors Companion Amen! ❤️
It's interesting how when I first started watching this series, I was really doubting my relationship. I stuck it out because I truly felt we were together for a reason. I asked God to remove him from my life if it wasn't meant to be, but to do it in a positive and mutual way. We've been together for 3 years and year number 2 was really rocky but we're here and happy. Sometimes you have to leave but sometimes God is preparing a breakthrough. We just need to learn to ask for wisdom, discernment, and guidance during difficult situations. God will give us the best if we are willing to allow Him to work. Thanks Jeff & Alyssa for sharing some great advice!
nice testimony.
I really needed to hear this right now, my girlfriend of 2 years and I broke up recently and it was killing me. I didn't feel like she was the one, but I still loved her deeply, and when we separated I felt dead inside. I had lost my best friend, and so many memories with her. But now it's getting better day by day. If that breakup never happened, I never would've become the Christian man I am today. I was living in sin, but now I'm born again. I trust God with all my life and even when it gets hard I will still trust and praise him. Jesus heals all wounds, never give up.
I randomly just went across this video as i searched your name on RUclips and I'm going through the same thing as what you guys were talking about. I just came home from church today laying everything down at the foot of the cross. Cried my heart out as I told him I did what he asked me to do which is to let go of someone I thought and prayed for that's the best significant other for me to be with. But this video really just shifted my perspective on what's happening. We need to break our own hearts just to have the other person's heart beating with joy and happiness. Selfless love. Thank you.
I'm 23 years old and I was in a relationship where it wasn't working yet we were still holding on to one another. We even got engaged. It lasted for about a year and a half until it was broken off. To say that it hurt bad is an understatement. I tried to win him back, I tried bargaining with God, but nothing worked. It just wasn't Gods plan for my life. When I had exhausted all my options, in desperation I cried out to God and He answered- showing me that He was and is my first love. To go off of what Jeff said, the breakup was what I needed in order to put my focus back on God. I believe there is someone else that God has in store for me, but in the meantime He's showing me the importance of waiting for His timing and relying totally on Him for acceptance and love. I hope this is an encouragement to someone, for I can truly say and believe now that all things work together for good for those who love God and are called according to his purpose. The same is true for you. God bless and to God be the glory
Ashley Henry
Wow this is so amazing. What an awesome testimony! Thanks for sharing💛
I'm always glad with your videos about dating, but this one seemed to come out in the exactly time of my sadness. Last time I "loved" someone was 2 years ago and since that I couldn't even find other people beautiful, but this video and your marriage has been encouraging me to start over. You know when you feel like you just have to be open up and it will be your time? I just felt this. Thank you so much for your intimacy with God, he really uses you both more than you will ever know. God bless!
Camila M. Rocha
That’s so awesome to hear!
he once told me "I'm scared this relationship isn't what God has planned for me". Not because he wasn't feeling it, but because we both were and he didn't want it to end. We're still together and going strong. i feel like he's the one. and he would only date someone he sees a future with but i really hope I'm the one for him, too..
i'm 20 and i've been single my whole life but it doesnt bother me because i always pray for God to give me a husband and i patiently wait for Him because its His timing and not ours and this video just helped me so so much because i am currently interested in this guy and he's nice and always pursues me but i know that he is not the one for me and recently i've been thinking 'maybe he could be the one' but i really really know that he isn't and i've told him but he keeps pursuing me. on top of that he is not even Christian and i can't date a non-christian because i have this strong burning desire for Christ in my soul and i want somebody to share it with. Thanks so much for being a blessing Jeff and Alyssa
You guys' videos have helped me a lot :) I thank God that I found your channel. I was dating a non-believer for a while (it would be 3 years in September) and I broke up with him a couple days ago because I've been doing Bible studies and getting more serious about having a relationship with God and aligning my life with His commands. It was really hard, I cried for hours but I know God has great plans for me and I've never felt closer to Him and appreciative of His love and mercy :')
I'm 28 and this video is SO applicable! I'm at a point where i feel like there are no more options so the urge to settle is even stronger than it was when I was younger. This was so encouraging.
just been through a breakup with someone who I thought was the one and God has not left me throughout it, love your enemy, blessed are the gentle... God loves me more than anyone else could ever and this video was extremely encouraging to watch because it reassured me of that, definitely will be watching loads more of your videos!
God will never leave you nor forsake you x
Great message, great people, and I hate to bring up a single negative thing... But maybe not interrupt or talk over your wife so much? She takes the courage and time to speak and then she is talked over. That would be so discouraging.
Thank you so much! 5 mins before I found this video, I was tearfully praying over a break up. I was praying for wisdom. Should I try and go back? I accidently bumped this video while watching something else, and your message was the answer to my prayer and just what I needed. God is so faithful. I thank you for your people God! Continue to bless and guide these two as they continue their ministery!
This video really got to my core. It is just what I needed. My boyfriend of 4 years and I broke up right before college just to give each other time and space to see what we want with our lives. I've been having the hardest time not talking to him because he was my best friend and i do care for him so much. But now that I dont have him I have really opened my heart to the Lord and really have grown in my faith. I know no matter what I will be with who I am supposed to at the end of the day. And if it is with my previous boyfriend great, if not then i am very excited to see the man the Lord brings into my life. God Bless and thank you for this video.
I'm 20 and spent the majority of my teen and college years investing time and energy in the wrong kind of people. With so many idealistic expectations around, the temptation to simply settle and the natural drive we have in all of us to find someone was incredibly destructive. It's when I became secure in myself, my abilities and most importantly God that the need for companionship lost its appeal. I'm at a stage in life where I'm valuing time with my loved ones, embracing the love of God and growing in faith in all things. It's a beauiful and sometimes painful experience, but it's worth it.
Stay strong whoever you are. if he/she isn't right for you, don't stay to make them happy or make yourself feel a little less lonely. you are much more than that!
God Bless and whole-heartedly all the best!
I can't even stress how much I needed this video today. After a huge break up I had where I was dating him for a year and at 5 months I knew it was never gonna work. I felt so lonely these past couple days and I just needed to hear those words at the end. Thank you. 😊
I'm with you on that one about you being even closer with God after the break up. Sometimes that kind of pain is needed for us to grow ourselves even more and prepare even better for the next (and hopefully last) relationship.
Thanks so much for this video! I was great. I personally tend to fall more on the end of legalism, as in I see one slight flaw in a guy and see it as a red flag. How can I get away from that legalism and know what things are truly red flags, and what other things are ok?
I am a living testament to this. I'm 32 and divorced. Married at 22. Before I got married, while dating, things felt "not right" here and there. There were "red flags" left and right. Btw, we met at church, and I was involved in leadership at the time.
I was also afraid of starting over (like he mentioned). In hindsight, it is SOOOOOOO much better to make the difficult-but-right choice, than to, later on, deal with the consequences of a wrong choice. Please don't take the "easy way out". It may seem easy now, but you will likely regret it later.
Hebrews 12:10-11
This video hits every nail on the head.
This video spoke directly to my heart; I have been in an unevenly yoked relationship for 5 years with a great guy, and haven't had the courage to walk away from it. Thank you so much for your guidance and ancouraging words today!!
I'm sitting here crying because I feel like this video was made for me. Thank you both SO much for letting God speak directly through you both to my heart! Oh my word! Just the words I needed to hear. God bless you both. Praying for you guys and love you bunches!
Totally confirmation for a 2 year relationship that I knew in 1 year that God has shown me this is not the best. Thank you soo much!!!
The toughest part is when that person doesn't want to let go, and family has gotten involved. Trying to write your own love story, knowing fully well God isn't in it.
Thank you soo much
This is soo true. I just got out of a relationship with a "good christian boy". Lately i've been praying more, reading the word more and truly asking for guidance and one of the things i felt is that he was not the man for me so we broke up. This video truly hit home. LOve you guys! THANKYOU!
god, this is exactly what my ex is going through. she loves me, she cares for me, but im not the best for her. We were best friends, we were lovers. I took her for granted and ended up treating her like crap because of it. shes so right for doing but it hurts so bad to acknowledge it :(
+thedarkpenguins227 thank you man. It's getting easier. I hope that in the future we can talk again and catch up
thedarkpenguins227 things are better. I'm slowly moving on and it's getting easier every day. Thank you for asking!
I listened to this when I was going out with my ex a year ago. It really spoke to me, but I couldn't face the inevitable. I did end up ending the relationship. I'm still healing but I am utterly thankful that I listened to God and did what he was asking me to do. Thanku Jesus x
Thank you for this video! I was feeling alone this and i turned to God and i told him how i felt about one girl and how it hurts to think about her after it all.ended . I asked The Lord for comfort and hours later this video shows up and i knew God was giving me answers . THANK YOU !!
Thank you so very much for this video. I am in a relationship right now and it is long distance. I am a senior in college and he is in my hometown. But for the past couple weeks I have felt something is off. Not because our relationship is bad but because he is not a Christian. This is what I really needed to hear. God has blessed me with this video and I just want to say thank you. It is not easy, I have spent ten months with this guy and my heart hurts but I know God is by me 100%
I just got out of a relationship of four years & everything you guys said I related to! I was that person who told myself all these things but deep down in my heart, for the last two years of my relationship I felt god telling me there was someone else for me. So, I finally listened to God, and have been single for 2 months, and this is the best I've ever felt. I'm just concentrating on my faith right now, my future husband will come later. Be courageous in the Lord ♡ 😊
This video gave me the confirmation I needed that I'm making the right decision. Thank you guys and keep up God's work 😊
This is so instructive !! I "ended" it right before the second date once I had a bad feeling even though he was an amazing individual, and it was exciting, but after praying about it I got a clear answer... I could see no future in us. I couldn't see him as a spouse. So it was a big red flag--- it's only been a day after I told him I didn't see us "going anywhere." But I still like him and it was extremely hard to tell him no. Because it's still hurtful. I HATED putting him through it. CAN YOU PLEASE DO A VIDEO ON HOW TO DEAL WITG SITUATIONS LIKE THIS? By the way your testimony in God is incredible ❤️
wow Jefferson! thank you so much! God did know I really needed this video. I realized this month that my boyfriend is not the one I'll love my whole life. But yeah, when we started dating we prayed a lot about it and we thought we were doing the thing God wanted us to do. But know I know I'm not truly in love with this guy. He is really nice and a godly man. And he really needs me kind of. He loves me with his whole heart. So it's really hard realizing I'm going to break up and leave him alone.
But what you said, like: when you say yes to this person, you say no to the guy God sends. I think we settled to much. We were both really serious about our relationship so when I think of all the dreams we had it's even harder. I doubt a lot what to do. I've no idea what God wants me to do.
So to y'all: please don't settle!!! Don't dream to big when you're only 0,5 year together. Maybe it seems to be a long time but it's not. Realize you both can still change and you both can go different ways. Otherwise you'll be in my situation. And it's so hard cause I don't know what to do!!!!
I just broke up with my boyfriend and I know he wasn't the one for me and I justified him all the time, and I just started to think I should try again and watching this video just made me realize that it was right decision to leave him! thank you!!!
This is amazing! I just got out of a year and a half relationship and this is something I'm learning. If there is one thing you shouldn't settle for it's the one person your going to spend the rest of your life with.
I was literally talking about this topic this morning with my bible study leader. Amazing timing- thank you so much for this. It was both affirming and encouraging. Love you guys!
Thank you so much for this. I really needed to hear this advice since I am experiencing some dating issues on my own right now. This guy and i like each other, but I just have this feeling that things won't work out in the long run. It's hard to have self control when you're getting attention.
I saw this video when it first came out, but I kind of ignored it. I'm 19 and my first relationship just ended after almost a year. I feel now that this is the reason it didn't work out. We were and still are great friends, but being together as a couple for the rest of our lives probably would not have been the best. I would sometimes find myself realizing this, but brushing it off mainly because I just wanted to date one time. I didn't want to have to go through breakups and drama (That's why I didn't really date in High School). So although I'm still kind of sad that it ended, I'm excited to know that God has an amazing woman for me somewhere down the road. Thank you for this great encouragement.
Going through this exact thing right now.. Had to break up with my boyfriend of two years because I realized I was settling. It is one of the hardest things I've done. I'm trusting that God will carry me and show me who "the one" is!
Yes. I pray this is an eye opener for many
I wish I had seen this video a year or two ago. A couple months ago I broke things off with my boyfriend of 2.5 years. I knew pretty early on that he wasn't someone I wanted to marry, but I convinced myself otherwise. I could've spared him a lot of heartbreak and both of us a lot of lost time and opportunities. You two explained this so perfectly, and though I know I did the right thing, and have been confident in my decision, this was just another confirmation. God bless you both.
I recently turned 18 and graduated so I've felt a lot of (for the most part) unintentional pressure from others, especially older Christians, to be in a relationship or start looking into one. In this culture it is unusual for someone to be an adult and never have dated before. This is what I needed to hear today, that's its good to wait for God's best. Thanks! 😊 BTW Montana buds! Best state ever! :)
i was at gateway last night and wow your word hit me so hard! thank you so much! God Bless you man keep doing what your doing!!!! i am following you now and i cant wait to watch all your videos!
I love you guys. Thanks for the encouragement and advice. I’m going through this exactly right now and am in the grieving process of my breakup. This whole break up has brought me to my knees before God and I’ve been reflecting on what I need to work on in regards to my relationship with God, how to love people better, and how to love my future significant other better. Again thanks you guys, God bless.
I just experienced this and this resonated so deeply within me. Thank you.
Holy cow I thought I was the only one in this... Whoever things didn't feel right in my previous relationship, I often thought it was because I wasn't doing something right. Thank you for this video.
I had been struggling recently because the father of my child has met someone new and I felt like we broke up all over again. anyway since I found out about this I felt like I shouldnt have ended it with him but after watching this video it had reminded me and confirmed the reason I had finished with him
1: I would always justify and convince myself that it could work and I should just be with him'
2: it always felt wrong but I would just stay with him because I love him and want this to work even through I knew deep down it wouldnt
3: there are so many red flags he watches porn, being around made me open to things I shouldnt have been ( stuff I never had agreed with before) and he smokes weed. there are so many more but those are the main ones
I really needed to see this video. although im still struggling I know it was the right decision but im happy again but still have my moments but im working on it Thank you.
Exactly what I needed to hear. It is so difficult not having a mother figure in my life to just seek advise or counsel I enjoy watch your videos it really brings my life into perspective.
A few months ago I watched this video and the truth was so so so hard to swallow. But today I'm so proud of what God has done in my life He gave me the strength and courage (it took so much) to let it go. And He has been ever faithful I never cried once I am able to focus and in fact my walk with Him has never been more lively and strong. And that puts God back into His place in my heart and mind and I thank Him and you Jeff and Alyssa for that! You guys are God's mouthpieces 😌
I started writing a lot to post on here publicly but then deleted it because I heard the answers I needed to hear. I soo badly want to be with this amazing girl who I can put as this Galadriel walking into the dark forest to rescue Frodo or something, shit got real intense when I met her. But, our time together was short lived, she has to go back wherever God sent her from. I've become soo close to her vice versa we both played the "playing hard to get" game. eventually that backfired because now we are not going to be together ever. Let's just say I'm going to respect her parents wishes. I also need help. I just came out of the valley of the shadow death and now I see the light. I always take a heavy breaths to calm myself when I say to myself, don't settle my bro, don't settle! Jeff this video is soo inspiring that I've been back here to watch it 3 times already. thanks uso, Te Atua te aroa.
Advice to stack on top of what you guys said: be careful not to fall into the "sunk funds" trap. What is a sunk fund? The past has happened and there's nothing you can change it - what you can change is the future. Some people in relationships are scared to break up because they need to make those 2 years "worth it". You can choose to make the rest of your life miserable, or to cut it off with your significant other and to make the rest of your life awesome once you find "the right one".
Can't tell you enough how much I love and appreciate your dating videos. They bring much clarity. Thanks for keeping them coming!
Ahhh I really needed this right now! As a young woman who just graduated from college, is is pursuing her Masters it's hard. A lot of my friends are getting married right now and it keeps making me think, " where's my Adam?" and "what's wrong with me/ what am I doing wrong?"
+Nkenna Rose Check out Joe Solomon's (whatisjoedoing) Chase God not Boaz. Its very helpful and encouraging stuff.
This relates to me in so many levels right now! Thank you so much! It's like I told you my situation and you just responded every single comment from me. I literally jaw dropped each time I heard something that I needed to hear. God bless you guys!
I completely agree with this. Its far better to wait as long as it takes for the right person to come along than to settle for someone who is simply "convenient".
These dating videos are very encouraging. Thank you so much! Sometimes people can't help me when I'm struggling, but these videos have really helped me during my lowest times.
Man, I've been struggling hardcore with this the last week or so. Preciate this video big time. I know God has that for me but sometimes it feels like it's never a reality for me. Thanks for posting this!
I was with someone for about 2 ½ years (engaged for the last year) and before we got engaged I had this feeling deep down that this might not be God's best for me. He is an amazing guy and I loved him so I thought maybe the feeling would go away, but it didn't. It took a lot of faith and courage, but I ended things. It was sad, but it feels good to know that it's what God called me to do!
Sean & Jaime
Wow so glad to hear! That’s an awesome testimony :)
Wow! Thanks guys, this video was just on time! I truly do believe that what God has for me is for me!😊
I know this is kind of late but thank you for this video, I just got out of a relationship that I wanted and not the one God wanted. This just makes the break up easier because it helps me know that God does have a Christian woman out there for me and I shouldn’t settle for less but trust in his plan. Thank you and love your videos!!
Singles shoutout!! haha...Always wonderful when people remember that there are singles in this world!! :) It can be hard being single! And hard to encourage singles...I'm 29, never been in a relationship, and I'm happy being single, but it's SO HARD to encourage other singles! So often I hear the, 'Yeah, but...' and it can be so frustrating! I know God created us for relationships, but like you said, sometimes it takes time. And I wish people would use that time for service rather than griping. Thanks for this video!!
I'm 32, single Christian man who's never kissed a girl. I've asked out several Christian girls out only to get rejected. It's been really tough. I told God that if I don't get a woman by 33, I will go see hookers. I risk hellfire, but it's too hard to live without a woman's touch. It's a big gamble.
yes, I don't want to start over. my ex was a sweetheart, but people think I miss him because he was cute, but no, I did love him with all my heart.
100% agree. RAISE YOUR BAR. Raise your standards! You’re worth it!!! I did it and it’s worked out amazing!
Your channel is ALWAYS my go to for christian dating advise or words of wisdom and encouragement. Thank you, thank you, thank you for what you do. This was EXACTLY what I needed and isn't the first time that I felt one of your messages speaking directly to me. I love how God works like that by speaking through others!
This really blessed by heart today, although I have never been in a relationship. its trusting in God who that person he wants me to be with and not settling for less then that. Thank you for sharing.
I fell away from God and started to come back to God after I met someone. We got engaged after we had been living together. I knew that I wasn’t attracted to him as I should be but as I felt secure and we got on we married. He’s still not a Christian and not remotely interested and I am seeking God more and my walk with God. I feel the same way about him as I did at the start but stayed with him as he was good companion and provided much needed security after my problems with anxiety, cognitive impairment that I’ve had since childhood. I’m sure God wants me to focus on him and keep praying for him but it’s difficult as it’s not an ideal situation. Just got to make it work.
Thanks for the video. Really, thanks. This past days I've been doubting the decision of breaking of a relationship I had for two and a half years, even though we broke up like five months ago. Needless to say, this video made me cry, but it brought me peace. When Alyssa talked about staying in the relationship because of having invested so much time... Well, that was always the argument I would give. Point is, these days I was feeling really scared and at a certain point in the video I felt so much peace. Thank you. My heart feels so much steadier right now. Thank you guys so much! God bless you!
Gabriela Alfonzo
Wow so glad to hear that.
I love when you and Alyssa do videos together! God bless you both!
This is all so true. It is so hard to say goodbye for someone. I still have such a hard time letting go of the man I love. we were together 4 years, he was my best friend, and we have a daughter together. but we arent good for each other anymore. and ive come to realize that I was only staying with him because, like you said, I didnt want to start over and feel like all that time invested was wasted...I will always love him and wish it would have worked out but I was the one always trying and he just seem to hurt me all the time. so I have to come to terms that he was not Gods best for me and nor I for him. Its a tough process but these messages help change my perspective. (:
this helped me break up with my ex boyfriend. it was soooooo tough, but it was so worth it! Even in my singleness I am happier, I am closer to God, and I am excited for the future. Thank u guys
first time I watched your video and first of all I want to say I admire you both so much! such an inspirational couple, many more years of love and joy! secondly I was in the same spot about two years ago when I was faced with the decision of breaking it off with my then boyfriend of 3 years. it was so hard, it took all of the strength God gave me and faith to break it off with the person. I knew he was not the one. the three months after we're the darkest points of my life with other hardships going on in my life but I have to say that these last two years I have never loved God more than I do now and gotten to know Him through that difficult year. now I committed my future to Christ knowing that if He does or doesn't have a special spouse for me, then I will still be happy and still be whole in Jesus. there are times though I daydream about a future spouse lol. but thank you so much for the video and God bless! :)
Kris Angeline Asensio
Wow I am soo happy to hear that! What an amazing testimony💛
I needed this today.. Alyssa please do more videos on insecurity and self worth!
Jeff and Alyssa, I just want to say thank you so much for putting these videos up because it's great to hear such great advice from a married couple who isn't to much older then me. This video really hit home for me because I went through a really bad break up last summer in which my girlfriend of 3+ years ended things with me sort of because of the reasons that Alyssa talked about with each of us caring for each other but there still being some red flags in our relationship as a whole. While now I can look back and say that it was really for the best I related so much when you guys talked about trusting that God has someone out there that's even more perfect for me. I struggled so long after she broke up with me and getting over it because I thought that she was the best thing for me and that no relationship could ever be better then that one and I was honestly mad at God because I wondered for so long what I had done for Him to have taken it away from me just like that. At first I just prayed that He would bring her back to me and eventually I realized He wasn't. So, instead I started praying for Him to just heal me and not feel so upset and sad all the time. He gradually healed me and as I healed I started to pray that He would just show me His vision for me. I didn't ask for anything specific but just that He would lead me wherever He wanted me to go and meet who He wanted me to meet. To this day I still have been praying that same prayer and by learning more about prayer (and listening to you guys lol) I've started to pray that in my waiting He prepares me to be the best version of myself that I can be when He brings the right girl to me. It's crazy how God can use certain situations in our lives to bring us closer to Him and looking back now I am very thankful for it and just wanted to say thank you to you guys because you have been a tremendous influence in my life in such a positive way. I watch every video you guys put up and just try to take in every bit of information that I can. You guys are great role models and just know that what you are saying is reaching people and helping people so please keep it coming. If you're ever in New Jersey feel free to stop by for some coffee! -Drew
I SO needed this right now in my life. Thanks for reminding me that Gods best for me is out there!
Plz never stop your videos about God and remember to give praise to him. God bless u
In my last relationship I felt a lot of red flags, the main two were touchiness and him trying too hard to change for me. He tried to change who he was in thought that I'd love him more. He was also really touchy and clingy, whenever I asked for space he wasn't capable of giving it to me. Which I've come to understand that he probably didn't realize how clingy he was, he couldn't help it at times but I knew very well he wasn't meant for me.
Although recently, I met this guy and talking to him or seeing him. I can feel warmth in my chest, like God set it up. I had been talking to him while I was having thoughts about my current relationships and I had met him at a wedding. We danced together (He was very shy 😌) and became good friends but after my breakup, he was there for me. Well we went on a date and have talked about a relationship this past week or two. It hasn't been that long with this boy but I haven't been able to find any red flags with him within the two months, I love it. It might change over time but my gosh, the feeling I had after I met him and danced with him. Felt like faith and grace and as if God gave me the courage and faith to speak/dance with him that night. The best part, he's Christian too. What are the odds of feeling a Grace to ask someone to dance with you and later on discover they had the same faith as you? 🙈
I REALLY REALLY NEED SOME ADVICE. PLEASE!
I met a born again believer online and we started dating (long distance). I've never met him but we've talked on the phone and all. We loved talking about bible prophecy and watching sermons and everything together. He said he thinks about me daily (and I do too) and our theology/doctrine and outlook on life is very similar. We prayed for each other and genuinely loved and cared about each other. He's been through a lot - was in a gang and then got born again. I'm a university student and 22 years old. He is 26. We were together for 2 years (online).
I was really really emotionally involved with him. But we ran into some problems (please don't think that I'm bashing him right now - I have respect for him but I genuinely want to know if what I'm doing is right).
So he would tell me not to talk to certain boys who he thought were trying to flirt with me (I gave him my fb and he would see the convos). He said males are hunters and he's doing this for the good of our relationship. I've never dated before so I took his word for it. We've broken up and gotten back together several times. He cheated on me once but he admitted it to me and was very repentant so I forgave him. He also mentioned that he was fighting temptation and watched porn 1 or 2 times and that he knows there's no excuse for it and that it's terribly wrong.
We did have our differences too though - I study engineering and want to pursue that (and stay home for a few years after having a child) but he believes that I should stay at home and he'd work. We often face temptation too and he asked me to send some...inappropriate pictures but I refused because it's very fleshly and sinful. He would always ask me where I was, who I was with, and always thought I was talking/flirting with other boys.
Recently, we got into another one of our frequent arguments and broke up. I might have acted petty out of anger - I admit that.
I have the strongest urge to reach out and make up with him (I find myself 'pining' for him everyday and I know it's out of emotional attachment and first love) but I don't know if that's the right and Godly thing to do. I don't know if I should reenter the relationship. I don't want to feel like I've...forever let go of something that could have possibly worked out if it translated from long distance to real life. But I also don't want to "settle" because I feel like THIS IS IT. He gets me. I'll never find somebody who embraces my quirkiness and understands me this well.
Lord have mercy on me. Why must this be so...difficult? Any advice would be appreciated.
That’s why I think it’s good to start out as friends first.
Oh my gosh I've watched this video before but now I really feel it's talking to me 😱!! It's like that's what God wants me to know right now... I can't thank Him enough. God bless you both Jeff & Alyssa
I had been with guy 4 and half years and two days ago I had to let him go. Wish I knew this before, because now its hard to do so.