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Don't Settle
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- Опубликовано: 29 ноя 2017
- "I know how lonely being a single parent can get. I know you might feel like you're carrying a load that's too heavy for just one person to bear. I know that having someone in your life to help you get through each exhausting day might sound like the best thing ever. But it won't be the best thing ever if you don't choose a true partner. There are still really good people out there who will love you for the right reasons, love your children for who they are... And you are deserving of all those things. No one should ever give in to the impulse to just settle... Partnering with someone who doesn't respect us or isn't willing to work hard in the relationship or make sacrifices for the sake of our children can leave us in a position way more miserable and risky than going it alone. Don't be fooled into thinking that any parter is better than no partner." - Kristina Kuzmic, "Hold On But Don't Hold Still"
For more about my life as a single mom, dating, remarrying, and my life now, check out my book: kristinakuzmic....
Check out my merchandise line and more at KristinaKuzmic.com.
Follow me on Instagram: kristinakuzmic
This is me. I was in a toxic and abusive marriage along with 2 children with disabilities. I did not leave the marriage because I thought no one would want a 30 something woman with 2 children with special needs. And them my current husband came along. As a friend he dragged me out of the bad marriage and told me upfront that he not only wanted me but my kids. He promised to treat them as his own. We’ve been married 17 years now and he has kept that promise. He is a better father to them than their biological father and treats me with the love and respect I did not previously have. So, yes, do not be afraid do not settle. Thank you Kristina Kuzmic.
Thank you for this. I am a single mom of a 22 month old baby girl and sometimes I feel like my love life is over. Your testimony gives me hope
Praise God that he sent you a Real Man to Help you get Out of that horrible marriage. And Gave you a Real Husband & Father to your kids as his own & Y'all Have a Great Marriage after all this time. God bless you& Yours
Ps& I wish I could Copy this for My youngest daughter.....
Its true. Indeed no one wants a 30 something woman with 2 children. Just the lowest value men that you ignored in your twenties.
Atleast make one or two Kids with him.
I couldnt imagine raising two Kids that aint mine and not even making one kid.
I'm a 56 year old man. Your husband, and your appreciation of him, just made me bawl.
Me too 😭😭😭
Exactly x
Bruce Costa I hope someone talks about you like this...and adores you❤️🙏🏼
Same
ME TOO.....So there is hope for us still😙
For cryin’ out loud, why’d I have to open this while I’m applying my makeup.
Thank you for this.
- single momma.
Hahaha.... always at the wrong time
I don't even wear makeup but I can imagine what would happen. If I wore make up it would be all over my face right now
So Im not a single mom or have ever been divorced...Im a college student who's never been in a relationship and this still spoke to me. Not just about not settling but when she talks about 'not letting your insecurities call the shots- they're not qualified'. I'm writing that down!
I have never, once, regretted NOT sleeping with someone... There is someone who will adore you, just as you are and respect you. Save your love, for them.❤️
I too, am not a parent but I am divorced many years now. I date, but have chosen NOT to settle. I want the kind of relationship that is warm + supportive, full of mutual respect, loyalty and commitment. And like many other women, I want to be adored. Not everyone wants that kind of relationship. But the man that's looking for someone just like 'me' will want what I have. Thats the relationship thats on my vision board. And thats the one I will have.
In the meantime I am content enjoying my peace and pursuing my goals, even in this pandemic. I truly appreciate the encouragement of this video, 3 yrs later. :-)
Love is nothing you decide about, it's something you discover. Once there, you'll have to decide whether to join or walk away. Before you make a decision, try to put your feelings about the relationship in a higher context. If the aim you have is to get a family forget it. If this is someone you want to take care of and protect, keep on, before you know it, you have a family that is looking up to you!
I haven't regretted it either (not sleeping with someone). I"m old fashioned and will not sleep with someone until I've gotten to know them. For me, that can take at least 3- 6 months.@@LunarFrequenciesHD
My boyfriend just started speending the nights for about 5 years ago. Same scenario. Same outcome. Then a couple weeks later cancer moves in. And now, hes still here. Cancer is over and he is not. 💙 Sorry for bad english, I dont use it often.
Stay strong lady!!
Once we have kids we lose the right to settle. I needed this 😭❤️
Thank you, Kristina. I divorced my first husband when my daughter was 2 years old (now she's four). I had no help with her, I had to return to my work just right after I came back from the hospital because I needed money to live on (I work remotely). I slept about 5 hours a day and was totally exhausted.
Then I met a man and thought he would never ever look at me in my condition. Like I'm not even a person anymore. But he showed me his support and his love. He is a very caring dad for my kid. And he showed me that I was worth it all... If someone told me this two years ago I wouldn't believe something like this could ever happen.
My message to all the struggling divorced moms (and dads) in the world: please, don't ever give up on yourselves. Sometimes it seems like life is over but it's not.
You are very lucky. I am now 73. I was a single parent of four and I never could find what you have. Very good video with very good advice.
This needs to be seen. Even though the msg is 100% valid and powerful, only those who have found this kind of happy ending and gotten lucky can say that with confidence. There's so many out there who never find it
Damn, this was the best inspiration I could have right now. I'm a 28 year old single dad, divorced, and ready to get out of the dating game. I've been thru numerous bad relationships since I've been divorced that makes me feel like I'm not worthy of someone who appreciates me for everything that I do. I'm the type of person that always puts my woman before myself, but its never mutual. After so many bad relationships, and always putting them first, you naturally try to retract that behavior and start to protect yourself by not being that way. It's good to hear some inspiration like this to keep my head up, and know I'm worth it and things will get better.
😍
Being a Single parent is hard. Man or Women. When You Realize What an Amazing Father You are& Amazing Man You Are. Then You'll Stop attacking these toxic female's into Your life. Bc You Are Worthy of a Health & Amazing Real Woman in y'all's life. For me personally,Seeing A Real Man taking care of his kids alone, Is Amazing. Tho I know there's Alot out there. It still Amazes Me. Bc I Never had my children's Dad Ever Stick around. So God Bless You& Yes this to shall pass. Your Doing the Best You can. And 1 Day without even looking so hard for the Right woman. She's Going to just pop up in your life& Your Going to Thank God for her. She'll be Even More than you could Ever Dream of. I Promise. She's Out there. Between now& then. Start Seeing Yourself as The Real Man You Are. Then Real Woman out there Will See the Real Man You to& Love You for it. Your doing a Great job. Everyday with your kids is a Blessing.. Bc they Won't Stay young forever. So Enjoy Every moment with them. And 1 Day,The Right woman will come into your life& Be a Plus 1Blessings . In til then, Realize Your Family is Still Whole,Not Broken!!! Bc Your There Every single Day Loving your kids& Helping them with Everything in life. You are Whole Now. An Amazing Women Will come along & Wanna Be there as a Plus Into Your Amazing Family!!! God Bless You & Your Sweet Family. The Right woman Will Be A Blessed Women to Have You& Your Children in Her Life
I am a single mother you made me hope to be happy again.
I came across this video a few years ago. I had gotten out of a very abusive relationship. I started dating someone new, same sort of story. I started to fall for him and got scared. I did everything to push him away, I threw all my shit out there! He just kept coming back nothing would get rid of him. He was the first person to show me what love was. I was in a deep dark place when I met him and he loved me so much even when I couldn’t love myself, and I didn’t feel worthy of love. He took my son on as his own. Now a few years later we are married, and have a son of our own. So thank you for this video, it helped me realize others go through the same thing and we are worthy of love even if we don’t think so.
This is so emotional, brought me into tears even though I haven't passed through divorce. Makes me appreciate the man, husband and father who always is there even in my weakest moments. Great video Kristina.
I'm a single parent of 2, been so for 9 years. Most men I date are absolutely self-centered and only try to figure out what they can get from me in the relationship, not what they can give. Your video gives me inspiration to believe one day I'll find "him"...
Kristina you dont understand how much i needed this! My ex and sons father treated me so badly (sometimes still does). But i left him almst 2 years ago and said never again. It took having my son to realize that even thoigh i knew i didnt deserve it, i was NOT going to let him grow up with that kind of life. And now i do feel like ill never find someone to put up with my crazy, but i also realize being single is better than one more day of being disrespected by someone who is supposed to love you. Thank you so much for this video!
Chloe Briere I am in the exact situation as you are! Hang in there! It's been 2 and a half years since I left my sons dad and I am choosing to be single until I am in a better position to date. Until I am ready, I am doing fun things with my son and enjoy our time together. Enjoy your time and treat yourself kindly. ☺
I'm in the middle of the divorce process after being in a 9 year toxic marriage. I finally had enough and knew the kids and I deserve peace. I have lonely days, sad days, hard days, but many great days. I love knowing that my kids aren't in the middle of ugly words and negativity. Stay strong and keep your head up. I've heard it gets better.
Chloe, just based on what you have written and your profile pic, I can tell you that you are a precious gift to a loving man out there. You will meet him soon. Don't expect him to fit your idea Romeo, he may not appear even close to who you have envisioned. You are so pretty and your baby is perfect, there is a good man who will love and care for you, and you will meet him soon.
I feel you!❤️
I'm not a divorced single Mom , im single, with no kids but I desire both. I needed to hear this today for myself. Im not perfect and I've often said to myself, my insecurities talking, who would want me. This message is for many people. Thank you for sharing! What a beautiful family.
I want to like this a million times!!!!!! Everything you spoke about, I felt, and have been through. I still look at my “crazy” husband in awe of how he could EVER love a woman like me (or who I think I am/was). I came with two kids and other baggage, I am a few years older, and had made way more mistakes than he had. Yet! Every day I roll over and get to see his face. I get to watch him Father my/our kids. Work long hours day after day... and still love me and our life together. He has also cleaned up my vomit lol. Amazing Men DO exist ladies, trust me!
Just Eb so inspiring ❤ thank you for sharing..just when I felt no one ever gonna really love me just the way I am. God bless.
Cheryl Lee you’ll find someone who loves you just the way you are 💓
As someone divorced after a 15 yr marriage
This vlog helps me know somewhere there is a light
I have a son and I hurt often ... this vlog helps me
I feel alone all the time and it scares me .... I feel like you did and I pray I find this peace you found
Naomi White You will give yourself time to heal. Learn your true worth and what you truly want from life and what you want from a man and trust me it will come. You are beautiful and you deserve that love you deserve to be happy and remember your all ready have the truest form of love the purest kind the love between mother and child. So the other kind will just be a bonus 🙂. I hope 2018 brings you every blessing and happiness xxx
Naomi White ❤
Wow! I'm not even a single parent. I'm a single guy. I've been dealing with a lot of crap myself, and I want to tell you, that brought me to tears! What you said is so very true, at so many levels!! Thank you for sharing that! I, in turn, will Share this on my Facebook page, because people out there Need to hear this! Thank You Kristina, and God Bless You!!
I just cried my eyes out. I'm a single mom, and I've been in a situation where I dated someone I was totally incompatible with for two years, because I couldn't believe that anyone would want to be with me (a single working mom with a toddler on the autism spectrum). Eventually I mustered up the confidence to break-up with him, because I realized that I'd much rather be alone and happy, than in a relationship miserable. I'm currently back in the dating world, and this video is so helpful and inspiring for me to watch at this time. Thank you❤
Bravo!!! I also met someone after my divorce that was "crazy" enough to love the crazy in my life. Then I realized that my life wasn't really crazy...it was just...LIFE. And it's been nice to share it with someone else who sees life the way I do. To all the single moms out there...im not going to tell you that you'll find someone. What I do want to tell you is that YOUR life, even with all the struggles is so worth it, and you're worth it. Thanks Kristina for reiterating that. You rock!!!
Yes... don’t settle. In my case, the man i married had zero heart. If the baby cried at night, he told me to get up and take care of him so HE could sleep. (it was HIS BABY!) i should have listened to my wise mother (i was one 17)but instead i stayed married to him for 15 years and total of 3 kids and it was 15 years of HELL and today, my kids are all nearing 50 and they are all angry and hateful and my dream of a large happy family was just a dream, as i am an old woman, alone. Listen to your mother, girls, moms can see things you can’t.
She's absolutely right! You cant settle for less because of your children besides yourself! Children deserve absolute the best! Every single child!
Not a single parent but I came across this in my “watch later” playlist from 6 years ago and this was so on point for me today. Such great advice - I wish I could share this with every single woman I know. 👏💛
This moved me to cry... I've been that divorced mum too.. and I fought against my feelings. I have recently married a man who has seen me at my worst. This one is forever 🙂
Great message for you to give to your followers Xx
Wow... very nice! ALL single moms who are divorced, lonely and getting desperate for a guy to love them (even an abusive guy) need to hear this.
You are so blessed. I never met anyone who 'wanted all of it'. But I am so glad you did.
I got divorced at the age of 30 after 15yrs 3 children and my tubes tied. I thought for sure I was going to be alone for the rest of my life after dating for 6yrs after my divorce, and dating guys that just couldn’t handle my life w/3 kids and my kids come 1st and I’ve always been open about that. And out of nowhere I met the love of my life who has been an amazing guy to my children and myself and we are going on 10yrs together. I could not have asked for a better man to come into my children and my life. I love this because you show women that you can find someone that will love your children and you just the way you are even when life gets chaotic. Thank you for sharing and I’m so happy for you and your children 🥰🥰
I am a single mom. I don't want to settle and I won't but I still find it so hard to believe that I will ever find my Philip. I keep hoping and I want to but it feels impossible.
Right there with you, sister.
My husband treats my 2 as though they’re his own as well and it’s the biggest blessing on earth.
Yeap. Still makes me cry. Every time. I came across this vid on facebook about a year after my divorce, seems like a lifetime ago. And I was in such a low point... In the last five years I got it together step by step and changed jobs, house, even friends and kept going.
Last year a crazy person convinced me to love him and he's still sticking around, eventhough.
In this video, you spoke right to my heart. You lifted me up from my wet pillow and kept me going, through job switching, through pandemic and through my mother's old age. Every now and then I still repeat to myself "You're a mom, you CAN'T settle."
So yeah. I didn't settle. Your words had a lot to do with that. Thank you.
I want you to know how much this resonated with me. I laughed, then I cried. Then my four month old son looked up at me and smiled. Thank you for giving me a much needed sense of hope. Love you!
This was me, I never settled the whole time raising my son as a single mom but what you described is what I was waiting for! I'm currently still waiting and my son is going on 21 but guess what I'm only wiser and I have watched a ton of failed relationships and learned sooooo much from them.... and I'm still not settling. What a fantastic video 🙂
I must be super emotional from all the chaos in my life right now... But I want to thank you for bringing tears to my eyes. Thanks for doing it again Kristina!!!!!
i'm so grateful to have found my person. I still wonder why he was willing to take me and my 3 kiddos on, but he has fully opened his heart and home to all of us.
My two beautiful daughters that I was a single mom to for most of their lives are all grown up now, and I still feel like I’m such an insignificant unlovable person that nobody could ever truly love, I’m trying hard to change that program that I’ve been believing since childhood. This video is inspiring, Phillip seems like such an amazing caring person and so do you. I don’t know that I’ll ever find this kind of love, but there’s solace in thinking that it at least exists.❤️
I just love you. I'm single because my husband of 42 years was killed in an accident, so that is a different kind of trauma to come back from. BUT the issues are still there...you forget how to "be" with someone else, because you had it all worked out from your youth with somebody that is now gone. But you still have to find out who you are...definitely different than you were at the age of 19 when you said "I do" and then kept "doing". Healing from different things, but still having to heal. So much to learn. I watch and glean. Thank you, Kristina, for your wisdom, your transparency, your honest emotions and being so stinking funny. And you are beautiful, too. xoxoxo
I watched this clip years ago and I just rewatched it now. It is definitely shaped how I do things for me and my son, hearing what is possible for us
I really needed to hear this. I am a single mom who has been divorced. People have been pushing me to date for a long time. But it is hard for me to believe in someone loving me. I mean I do believe in it for others. But for me..... well anyway. I am so glad that you found a man who loves you and your children. And who you also love. It sounds like he works with you. Thank you for sharing this with us. Especially those of us who struggle with similar fears and issues. God bless you and your family.
Just makes me want to shout “Amen!”
Thanks for posting with the intent to strengthen and uplift. Your efforts are appreciated :)
I had so similar life story with you. Keep pushing away, not sure I am worth the love and help other person with all the baggage I have. The moment I decided to keep now my fiance was when I woke up in the middle of the day with flu while he served dinner not just to my kids, but also my neighbors kids- my kids best friends. And he hates cooking. But he loves us. And we love him so, so much. ❤️
Excellent message! My husband was like that, willing to take on a divorced mom. 5 years later and I still thank him for seeing myself and my son, our dynamic, baggage and all, and WANTING to be a part of it all, and CHOOSING to create a family with us ❤ it's a wonderful feeling to not settle ❤
This ministered to my soul. Thank you thank you thank you. Subscribed. Instantly.
As a divorced mama of 2 young kids who just just ended an engagement with the wrong one, I’m hoping you are a representation of my future happily-remarried self.
"Eventhough..."
I'm crying like a baby. This video popped out when I needed it the most. Thank you for inspiring and sharing your lovely experience
AMEN!!! I am a single mom of a 2yo girl and 4yo boy and have them Monday-Friday then work more on the weekends (because daycare costs more per day than I make) and have been single for 3 years. I REFUSE to settle. Which also makes me believe that ive set my standards too high for what I deserve. Which isnt bad so I can stay focused on my kids and career. Maybe once theyre both in school.
I was a single mom of with three kids. And then I met my my husband. And I am so grateful and thankful that he is in my life. He has helped me raise my kids as if they are his. This video reminded me of how I felt right when we where dating. And it’s true you look at the other person and your just like there is no way you want this. And he truly did. 10 years later still together. We have added a fourth child to our family. And I believe we are stronger than ever.
This came straight from your heart and into mine. Thank you for your honesty. And thank you for the help you offer.
You have no idea how much I LOVE this and needed this. I’ve been terrified to even date after my divorce... and it’s been a while. Such amazing advice- I want to be ready so badly and am lonely with two kids, one with autism and myself disabled with chronic health issues. And that was a message I really needed to hear😍 Thank you for always being so real and open about your life!
I’m sure this video was great but the quality really deteriorated from about half way. The picture got all watery and blurry and it was hard to hear what she was saying above the sobbing sounds ...Oh wait 😳😭
Lol! Big hugs. You deserve it.
Oh so it wasn't just me 😭
Yes, this is called A REAL MAN!
I just love you. You’re so REAL!!!Thank you for posting this🤍💜🤍
I’ve never been there, but I got lucky the first time. I’m so thankful for a supportive partner. Thanks for always being an inspiration.
I agree. 10 years as a single parent, I finally found my soul mate. 14 years later, we are still going strong.
Love your videos and love you
You rock! You take time out of your life to strengthen people who are weaker than they could be and I'm so very impressed with your willingness to bring in the dirty stuff to help someone else get to the better place for their lives as you have. I so am thankful for you
Those of you who found such a person are very lucky. I never did. sigh Raised my child by myself and he's now in his late 20s, so I'm no longer seen as having "baggage," I guess. But, spending most of your life on your own has its own rewards and lessons. Thanks for the beautiful video, Kristina!
I am sitting here trying to look for Red Flags and trying to pinpoint any tiny thing because of those insecurities. I like how you said the closer you get the more those insecurities come up. I thought I was going nutty. Now I know it's completely normal. Thank you.
Thank you so much for sharing such a tender, sweet and precious moment of your life. I’m so happy you three are loved so well. Yay! 😊
Hey, I am 21 years old, 33 weeks pregnent and going to be a single mother (alot more has happend alongside that) You have no idea how much your videos have helped me.... Thank you....thank you so much, I finally have hope that things will get better
This is so good to hear... Even for a married mom who just feels like a failure not worthy of love.
Haven’t been there. But my first love (pretty late in my young life) has been my only one untill now. Even through my diseases. Not being able to do household tasks, while I am at home all day and he works. He still want’s to be with me. In this different but also crazy life with ups and downs of my illness, having very little energy, hospital visits/stays, surgeries, not being able to have a child until I am cured (or at least more energy / no harmful meds for pregnancy). He has always said he knew what he was getting into, and loves me because I am PURE. Very different, but also someone who stepped into a crazy life. There are still good and decent men out there! ❤️
I am in the throes of a messy, hurtful, horrible divorce where my 3 young kids and I are pretty much dropped at the curb. I love this video. It’s inspiring and gives me hope, even though I can’t see it now.
Saw this when I was at rock bottom, single mom of two, years ago. I have shared this today with someone going through this. I can't believe I found my current husband and this loving relationship I am in. I credit that to this video so much! Thank you!
P.S: never thought I would be adding another kid as well. I am a happy momma of 3 and very much discarded the "even though" out of my vocabulary!
I cant even begin to describe the encouragement that this gave me. I myself have 3 children and are a divorcee and it was a year 2 days ago. This video is the ABSOLUTE truth and can’t even begin to describe the amount of tears it has left me with. When I say perfectly describes my life, I literally mean just that!! My friend sent me this video and as I read it, my heart caved in, pushing me and telling me that it is okay and that I don’t have to be alone. That I don’t have to be afraid when someone comes in and tries to Love on me AND my children like we deserve. I am so so appreciative of you for sharing this. I really am. I have to share this on my Facebook like right now because I’m sure there are other moms that feel the exact same way! Thank you from the bottom of my heart!!
Thank you so much Kristina. I needed to hear that and reinforce myself, and allow myself to be loved ❤️
❤️❤️❤️
I watch this for the 3 time😭I lost hope there are still men out there like that. I decided to give up the settling on people who think just bcz u have children you have no right to be picky and chose the right one. I’m tired of all that.i will just forget about finding comfort and just live for my kids. Tkx for the amazing msg. U deserve happiness.💕
Oh my goodness!! I love this so much!! ❤️❤️
Just so grateful for bumping into this amazing woman. I just needed to hear This message tonight as a single mum of 1adorable boy. Who happened to throw up, not feeling too good and Mama is overwhelmed!!
I needed this so many years ago. I settled and my son and I suffered. I'm divorced again and have PTSD from the abusive relationship. My son is grown and we don't have a good relationship. I still don't feel worthy and haven't been able to find anyone else. I've accepted I'm going to be alone from now on because I'd rather be alone than go through that again. I'm so happy for you. You deserve all the happiness. Thank you for sharing. I love your videos so much. You're a blessing.
Wow! You have been truly blessed with a real man! Men like him are a rare jewel! I love how much common sense you have and that you are teaching it to others! That was an incredibly wise move when you called him up, WOKE him up, and told him to come on over if he really wants this! A great test too to see how he would react! Thank you for making your videos. They are so needed! Blessings!
Thanks for reminding me that there is hope. ❤️
I loved this so much.
I'm not a divorced single parent, I'm literally 21 but I relate to the insecurities
Omg! This is the most beautiful thing I've heard in a long time. God continue to bless and keep your home
I did the same thing after a divorce. I wanted NOT to take it out on the next potential spouse what caused the end of a very mentally and physically abusive marriage. With prayer and waiting on the Lord, I met and married a man above all men, that's shown & described here. After 34 years a mail order bride (yes, we met through the snail mail), I have this PRINCE who loves me and sees me through the eye of Jesus. Not imperfections, weight gain, chin hair, etc. but a lifelong partner that is sent from Heaven ! I am so blessed, and believe that if every woman had a selfless husband like this man I married, for life , that there would be no DIVORCE COURT, and the destruction of the family unit that is worldwide would end!
Kristina...I just want to say thank you. Thank you so much for this video and for saying what I have always, I guess, needed to hear. I've been divorced for 10 years, and have not really gotten involved, because I never thought anyone would want a single mother of three with health issues. I can't say that I would get involved with anyone, but knowing there are still good men out there leaves the door opened for possibilities.
Would you date a divorced father?
I went searching for this video today. I've seen it before, but the first time I watched it, I didn't believe a man like that existed. I went back to this video, because I found someone who is just like this and I needed to re watch the video. Just comparing where i was and where I am, is amazing!
As a single parent from 94 to 2002 it is hard working and controlling your home being the only provider and the person to put the mail on the table but you know what God helps get you through it you look at him everyday one moment at a time walking in his spirit walking in the Holy Spirit thanks for the tears
This video is so timely and relevant. I'm a divorced mom of 2 kids and to hear that someone understand the single mom experience and articulate it so well, brought tears to my eyes and gives me hope. Thank you for this video!
I cried with that video. Thank you for that. Sometime we need to hear we are worth it.the guy in our live that is loving us, our kids, we are still worthy to be loved.
When I first saw this video, I was a single mom and this video gave me so much hope and really wanting a good and true relationship. .. fast fwd to now, I come across this video again and its almost conformation for me that the amazing man I met (during the pandemic!) Is that amazing man I prayed for when I first saw this video. Thank you for this video. You helped me to remember that even though I was tired of doing life alone, that I shouldn't settle. And I didn't. Thank you!!!
That is so awesome. I was almost in tears while watching this. Right now, I am going through with my baby's father.
Even though it took me some years to fill out the appropriate paperwork and have the funding to file, I finally filed the papers. Oh and my "baby" is 8 years old.
That was done back in March (of this year).
Last July, I went out with a former classmate for a personal errand she had to run. We went to one of the most historic markets in the city, which is Lexington Market (I live in Baltimore, Maryland).
Before we even went inside the market, I caught a glimpse at the gentleman standing at the door. Come to find out, the same gentleman at the door was someone I went to college with years ago.
I had introduced him to the former classmate and her two young children (who were with her). So after a few minutes of standing outside, we all went inside the building.
So once we came inside the building, the gentleman had to check on some work related matter. Meanwhile, we went to another part of the market.
All I can remember was seeing him walk away until he disappeared (I love a man in uniform, please do not judge me 😊).
So anyway, this handsome gentleman and I are taking our time reconnecting with each other. He has even met my son Gabriel (and he usually does not like any man around me 😮).
He even compliments me. When he sees me, he calls me Beautiful. The last time I had anyone compliment me on anything, I was 18 years old! (I will be 38 in December) I wish I was kidding about that.
The thing is I am waiting on a court date for my divorce as of this writing. I want for things between us to work, but I am leaving it all in the Almighty Father's hands.
You have shown me that it is okay for even a bookworm who had low self esteem as a young girl to love again.
Thank you for this video!!!!!!!
this spoke so much to me and how I feel sometimes as a single mom. thank u
Yep. This is why after my second husband left me penniless and with a daughter to support I did NOT just settle for some new guy to “save” me. I got a crappy job and supported her myself. And now she’s in her sophomore year of university with a full 4 year scholarship and getting 4.0s. And all because I devoted my free time in encouraging her to thrive. My real job was not the one that made me money. It was the one I took on when she was born.
What you said made me cry - it's so beautiful and at the same time sad. Philip is a wonderful person and I wish you two the best in life.
I'm divorced, I'm broken, İ have a child, and İ don't believe in anything good..my previous relationship took previous me - joyful and happy, trying to cope with everything alone.
Thank you for sharing, maybe something will be ok with me too.
I needed to hear this.not as a advise, but as a reminder. I'm not divorced neither I have kids. I recently turned 30 and broke up with my long term boyfriend couple of years ago. The man was the love of my life.
He used to shower me with love everyday and I was crazy about him as well. So after we broke up,I started to believe I'm a good for nothing and nobody ever will love me.I dated people who were never there for me.I settled for cheaters and abusers. Feel down I always knew whoever I'm dating or whatever I'm doing could be termed as many things -but not love.
Thanks so much for sharing this,and everyone in the comment section for sharing their stories. You all are inspiring :)
I have a stepdad the first time he called me his daughter I blushed it took me awhile to comprehend how complete stranger could love me as if I were his own childI've been struggling with a lot of insecurities and anxiety the only thing that gets me through that is hearing him laugh just knowing that he's happy makes me happy I've learned to take things one day at a time and not to focus on the negative things stay strong everyone 🙂
I know this is from last year but 😭😭😭 I’m so happy for you
I am so not crying right now. I felt like you were talking directly to me. I have felt that was for so long and now I realized I am okay. Thank you for the heart-message ❤
Wow Kristina..you have no clue how this hit home for me!! I was crying about halfway through until the end!! Thank you is about the only thing I can say..thank you for your words..thank you for being the amazing wonderful positive uplifting person you are!! I hope to one day use my struggles and pain to help someone else cope with their struggles and pain as you have done and continue to do!!! May God bless you and your beautiful family this holiday season!!
This is amazing! Thank you. I was a single parent, grateful for anyone who might care and want to spend time with me. Of course ignored the red flags as I thought that someone is better than no-one. Until eventually, after years of disastrous relationships, exhausted and self esteem on the floor, I met a person who is unconditional and genuine. Don't settle. More importantly, love yourself. You are amazing! X
I want to thank you for this video. It gave me the strength to leave the first relationship I came into after my divorce. It wasn't really healthy for me or my children, but I was just SETTLING. This helped to really put things in perspective for me, and after seeing it really got my mind going and I was able to walk away. Thank you ❤❤❤
"This piece of crap that we *think* we are."
. . .that honestly hit harder than I thought it would. We all walk around thinking we're a fucking disastrous dumpster fire trash can and past partners can make you feel that way sometimes even if you shouldn't let them have that kind of power over you.
You could be trash for one person but a treasure to someone else. I can attest to those words.
Don't ever settle. I did for almost half a decade thinking things will get better all the whilst being already checked out of the relationship from year 2.
Don't settle. And your person will come along so unexpectedly it will blow your socks off, kids!
I've seen this video of yours before. I've never been divorced and don't have kids but still think this is a beautiful message. Your husband sounds like a gem. God bless your family
I went through something like this after a nightmare of my first marriage of an abusive man that after pursuit me to punish me for divorcing him and years after the divorce dare to fall in love again and my wonderful husband and father to my daughter now was so brave to endure the nightmare and together rise up again. I can't be happier. What a wonderful video. It brought me to tears.
I should not have watched this . It's too early, I'm only on my first coffee, which is now diluted with tears, and it's only been a few days with my hrt patch. Too much emotion. Brilliant.
I wish this had a love button! Thank you for sharing your life with us.
I’ve watched that for the first time a few years ago.... it touched me because you’re inspiring. But now... im a solo mom. Times are hard for me with the pandemic. I felt that video in my heart. Thank you xxxxx
Thank you so much. I’m not a single parent, but you helped me realise some major things about myself and love. I now know why I was drawn to your vid. Thank you! 💕
I'm not watching this for the first time and I have tears in my eyes. Glad some people get a second chance and it works.
I thought I lost the ability to cry.
Listening to you tell this story, seeing how it affected you, had me in tears.
I have no kids. Don't know if I qualify here. But, I have been with my husband a long time now, but not feeling the love anymore. I love him, but his actions do not show that he still, if ever, loves me. I feel stuck. Alone. And absolutely terrified. Sure hope to find the courage, and the means, to make a change for the better. Your story gives me hope. Thank You for sharing.
😭😭😭😭 thank you! Divorced, single mom since birth of my son. My son just turned 9. I refuse to settle like I did in the past. Thank you for this video 💜🌸