Это видео недоступно.
Сожалеем об этом.
Trust Issues Ruining Your Relationships? 5 Steps to Healing - Terri Cole
HTML-код
- Опубликовано: 14 авг 2024
- Do you assume everyone has the same values and moral compass as you? Do you assume everyone has good intentions?
Or do you assume other people are untrustworthy, even though you have no way of knowing?
Whether you are too trusting or more distrustful, this episode is for you. I am giving you questions to gain a deeper understanding of your downloaded trust blueprint, as well as tips to become more discerning about whom to trust.
Download the free guide for this episode here: www.terricole....
Time Stamps
0:00 - Introduction
2:17 - Trust issues
4:40 - Downloaded trust blueprint
5:55 - Questions to uncover your trust issues
8:35 - What we learn from childhood experiences
11:37 - Breaks in trust
12:43 - 3 tips to develop self-trust
15:26 - Self-trust inventory
16:37 - Repeating realities
If You Enjoyed This, Watch These Videos
• How to Create Emotiona... - How to Create Emotionally Trustworthy Relationships
• How to Tackle Trust Is... - How to Tackle Trust Issues (6-Step Healing Guide)
• Self Trust, Surrender,... - Self-Trust, Surrender, and Wild Dreaming with Elizabeth DiAlto
• Codependency & Over-Fu... - Codependency and Over-Functioning
• How to Create Radical ... - How to Create Radical Confidence with Lisa Bilyeu
About Terri Cole
Terri Cole is a licensed psychotherapist, global relationship and empowerment expert, and the author of Boundary Boss-The Essential Guide to Talk True, Be Seen and (Finally) Live Free.
For over two decades, Terri has worked with a diverse group of clients that includes everyone from stay-at-home moms to celebrities and Fortune 500 CEOs.
She has a gift for making complex psychological concepts accessible and actionable so that clients and students achieve sustainable change. She inspires over 450,000 people weekly through her blog, social media platform, signature courses, and her popular podcast, The Terri Cole Show. For more, see www.terricole....
Connect With Me
Instagram: terricole.com/ig
Community: terricole.com/vip
FB Page: terricole.com/fb
FB Group: terricole.com/fbg
Podcast: terricole.com/...
Resources to Check out
Boundary Boss Book: boundarybossbo...
BetterHelp: betterhelp.com...
I’m not currently taking any new one-on-one therapy or coaching clients, but highly recommend using BetterHelp to find a therapist that fits your needs. As a team, we have fully vetted BetterHelp's resources. If you choose to sign up for Better Help's service, I will receive a commission on the referral but please know that I only recommend services that I know & trust.
www.terricole.... -- If you are in a crisis or any other person may be in danger the resources on this page can provide you with immediate help.
#terricoleshow #selftrust #trustworthiness
Let me know whether you are too trusting or distrusting in the comments, and why you think that might be the case. Download the guide for your trust blueprint: www.terricole.com/trust-issues-ruining-relationships-guide
Too trusting…been called “gullible.” You “wear your heart on your sleeve,” as if it’s a bad thing(?).
I used to be too trusting..... Then literally everyone in my life gave me reasons to not trust anyone! And now that there is someone I think I may be able to trust.... I am quick to believe that they are either stealing from me or doing something wrong.... Ugh so then I find it easier to be alone....
I see you ❤️ Sometimes it helps if we begin small- see if this person will be true to their word in a very small, low-stakes situation and then go from there. (Of course, don't do that if you have proof they are stealing from you!)
For me. Everyone has my respect and can lose it. But no one gets my trust until they earn it.
As a woman who dares men, once trust is violated it’s time to move on. I’ve ended multiple relationships over men who lied and couldn’t keep their eyes off pictures of women. Even after multiple conversations. I have learned that people don’t change. All it did was make me a worse person for the right man.
I ruined a relationship with an amazing person because of my trust issues.. not only did I loose her, but I also feel like a monster
I am witnessing you with compassion ❤️
how old are you?
My husband is naive and unknowingly gives me reasons not to trust him even though he doesn’t mean any harm to me by doing these things. I’ve pointed them out. I’ve been cheated on by every man I’ve been with except him although he doesn’t seem to totally understand that when he talks and jokes and laughs with other women that it hurts me so deep and I know that’s wrong.
My trust blueprint is my father was not trustworthy and he abandoned me at a very young age.
I am witnessing you with compassion 💕 Thank you for sharing.
I learned that people were not trustworthy. My parents never and I mean that, NEVER, did keep their word. They have lied to me and my family multiple times to manipulate us. We found out later. My mom is a narcissisty. Dad has gone from some of the time reining her in tp giving up and giving in altogether. She has always been a naysayer and untrustworthy. I felt most of the time that I don't matter. It was only my husband that helped me to start to see and work on being more kind toward myself.
I am witnessing you with so much compassion 💕
Thanks
Same here, I can’t seem to trust anyone including myself ❤️🩹
Hi Terri, I have also been too trusting to my cost and finally learned not everyone is trustworthy.
I see you 💕
Thank you for sharing your very valid points that helped me understand my trust and paranoia issues so I can learn to trust and love deeper.
❤️❤️❤️
There was absolutely no trust in my family from a very young age, too much to put into one comment. Then I was cheated on and abused in my own relationships until now. And my trust issues got in the way of my newest relationship, and I’m afraid I’ve ruined it forever.
I am witnessing you with so much compassion ❤️
I have trust issues around woman that was adopted from childhood. It brings a lot of relationship anxiety to me that I battle alone because I fear sharing it because I don't want it used against me, so I battle it alone. Makes relationships anxiety ridden, fun, fun..
I am so sorry to hear that and am witnessing you with compassion 💕
To learn how to become discerning really is the key for me. I've been both too trusting and constantly doubting. You're right, Terri, it's exhausting. Thank you for sharing this video and the guide❤🙏
I see you ❤️ And you are so welcome!
Thank you for this conversation. I checked off the boxes on the majority of these points. The past 10 yrs have had me soul searching and flipping the script.
I am witnessing you with compassion ❤
Thank you Terri, you have helped me so much with this. I almost ruined a great relationship with a lovely trustworthy man with my trust issues but I am working on myself with this every day so we can build up our trust and have a healthier relationship that is strong and loving and exciting with our love. Terri, you are beautiful inside and out, thank you again.
I'm so glad this is helping you and your relationship ❤️❤️❤️
I'm so glad this is helping you and your relationship ❤️❤️❤️
Thank you Terri for the video. Your thoughtful and nuanced comments provides many opportunities for reflection. I feel like you explored this topic to some very deep places, so thank you.
I am so glad you found it helpful 💕
I have been too trusting in the past or
maybe seeing the "all fine" about others, but not so much now. Difficult
experiences with others can well be
the case or as you have explained not
so ready to self~abandonment and seeing self~regard from different
perspectives. Thank you so much
for this video& conversation Terri
it will be powerful to work on
blue-prints, question inner dialogues
and whys.. 😊❤
I am so glad you think the exercises will be helpful, and thank you for sharing 💕
talking perfect sense, as always Terri, thank you
So glad it was helpful! ❤
Great video❤️
Thank you for making this video 🙏
You are so welcome ❤
This is a tough topic for me. I could never trust myself to date a decent guy and then to make decisions that were in my best interest once in the dysfunctional relationship? I am learning now to trust and honor my values. I want to try to date again but the fear of making bad decisions stops me. Most of my past relationships were co-dependent and unhealthy.
My Mom was not loving enough towards me -- I am sure this make me feel like I can' trust people I love. I need to learn to love yself and trust myself first.
I wanted my Mom to hold me and hug me and tell me I am pretty when I came home from school crying after kids made funn of my large nose. My last name is Gross and they said yes she is - Mom said don't worry - you will get a nose job when you are 16. ok, I underdstand that but I was crying and in pain and feeling hurt - - hug me - tell me you love me and I am pretty -- did this affect my trust issues with loved ones? I has an expectaion with my Mom and it wasn't met. And with men I dated - never met
This makes sense to me, Linda, and I am witnessing you and your younger self with so much compassion 💕
Wow, Terri thanks. I learned so much, even though I have been looking at relationship issues, with counseling, for a while. Example, positive projecting,. I now realise, it's a big problem of mine.🤓
I feel you on that! ❤️
Great video. Subscribed.
❤️❤️❤️
Great and very insightful message indeed and thanks for sharing.
Thanks for watching ❤️
That's the problem I was trusting and then overthrown. I'm disappointed now that it's hard for me to trust men.
I see you ❤️
Hi Terri, thanks for this video. I implicitly trusted my wife for 20 years but recently found out that she'd hidden her 'friendship' with a male colleague for the last 3 years. They met regularly at work for coffees and chats, and also went out for dinners with other friends but for some reason he was the only one she never mentioned to me. I found out about their friendship from reading her Facebook messages ( with her permission of course) and this has really hurt me and I can't trust her anymore. She says that her relationship is inconsequential so she never mentioned it, but that isn't how it comes across from the messages. She promised to never hide any meetings or interactions with him from me again and I learnt to trust her again. But last week she met him and planned a dinner with him and other friends and lied to me about it. Unfortunately I found out and now I am really unable to trust her at all. This led me to your video. I really don't know what to do anymore. I love her to bits but can't deal with this deception and secrecy which is affecting my ability to love her as much as I am capable of.
I am witnessing you with so much compassion, and so sorry to hear you're going through this. 💕 Have you spoken to her about it, and asked her why she felt the need to lie about it after agreeing to not hide it from you? Have you told her in plain terms how it looks to you? (Like, can she understand how this is a breach of trust, or is she still downplaying it?) Is she willing to go to couple's therapy- is that something you're interested in?
I would have been clear and set boundaries upon seeing the messages, like, "I am deeply uncomfortable with what I'm reading here, especially given that it's been going on for 3 years. I would like to request that you stop having dinner with him. If you do, then..." and I would have suggested a consequence. But since we're past that, if this is a deal breaker for you, I would tell her that and ask for a very honest conversation about why she went behind your back and what thoughts she's having about this entire situation. Like, "You asked me to trust you when you said you wouldn't hide meetings with him and then you did exactly that. Why?" I hope that helps. I'd also suggest getting clear on what kind of outcome you're looking for with this. If there's no path to regaining trust, then you might need to be honest about that with yourself, too. 💕
@@terri_cole thank you for your advice. She said she cared about my feelings and didn't want me to be upset knowing that she'd met him and was planning on going to dinner with him. To be honest, I never asked her not to go out as a group when he was attending as well. I think she was planning on telling me after the dinner that he had turned up as well, although I can't say for definite as the dinner got cancelled after her deception was discovered. I am sure she's not having a physical affair, but I'm worried that at some point she got too emotionally involved with this man and is now trying to hide it. That was when our relationship was going through some issues as well.
I think marriage counselling is the only way forward. I want to trust her but need her to prove to me that she's trustworthy.
I'll set my boundaries clear (learning from your videos) and give her one more chance and if there are any more untruths or deception, it'll mean the end of our relationship I'm afraid.
I think setting boundaries and making them crystal clear along with marriage counselling sounds like a good plan. Wishing you the best ❤️
Thank you
You're welcome!
1) How do u trear yourself?
2) In what areas of yoir life are you good at keeping your word to yourself?
3) What were the red flags you ignored about people who later turned out to be untrustworthy?
🔥🔥🔥
Hello everyone! I am actively working on my issues for the sake of my relationship.
I am cheering you on, Lisa ❤️
What if my boyfriend doesn’t trust so he cheats bcs he his afraid to trust and suffer? What To do to gain is trust?
I'm working on myself ❤ I'm losing my husband because of me I nag and complain everyday because of my past he's such amazing man now he's lost
Good morning Terri! I’m new here, I just watched my first video and found it to be so helpful! Looking forward to this video and more 😎
Welcome Julie, so glad to have you here! Thanks for watching ❤️
Thank u mam,
Please tell us something about how to be less neurotic in behaviour and reactions,and respond calmly,by self soothing🙏❤️
I have a video on self-soothing here: ruclips.net/video/X8i2uaqyU4Y/видео.html ❤
i dont get the pdf file/mail to my hotmail :(
Me and my girlfriend we got into an argument she believes that I have trust issues
I'm sorry to hear that, Marc ❤️ Do you feel that way about yourself?
Marc herring
My girlfriend’s trust issues are destroying our relationship and I don’t know what to do anymore.
So sorry to hear that 💕 Are either of you open to couple's counseling to work through it with a third party? Do you or your girlfriend know what is at the root of her trust issues?
Terr, I have a question about repeating realities. You were talking about trust this time, but what if the problem is emotional unavailablity of both of the parents?
In my case, because of that I supose, I am emotional unavailable in a way(not 100% bc I am trying not to be like my parents, and sometimes I disconect from the present moment), but I am attracting friends and guys who are often em. unavailable. I mean, how to stop that circle with attracting and how to be more em. available for others? Hope you understood🤗
You might want to check out my conversation with Vienna Pharaon - ruclips.net/video/iYaS_SBA7Rs/видео.html She goes into detail on sort of the 'reverse' repeating reality that may help to shed some light on your situation ❤️
As for being more emotionally available for others, I did a video recently on creating emotional safety in relationships which may be a good starting point: ruclips.net/video/f2um7z0Imug/видео.html
Thank you 💓💞I will definitely check that
Hi , I’m Tina
I have trust issues
I see you, Tina 💕
Hey I'm BELLADONNA NICOLE FERGUSON. You're amazing!!!!
Thank you, I appreciate you being here!
my boyfriend has trust issus and he's acussed me of cheating when i didn't. he ask where i am makes feel like he don't trust me. I wish my boyfriend can watch this. I have trust issus to but i never once accused him. I hate living my life like this. My boyfriend don't trust anyone or anything. I'm having hard time enjoying my life.
I'm sorry to hear that, Kristen 💕 Have you spoken to your boyfriend about how this makes you feel?
@@terri_cole told him makes me feel like a bad girlfriend i feel that i feel guty.thats how i found out he has trust issuis
Trust issues can be difficult to navigate, especially if the other person isn't willing to work on them. If you want to stay with your boyfriend I would ask what specifically would help him feel like he could trust you again. But if there's zero reason for him to accuse you of cheating, I'd also be careful that he's not trying to be controlling or manipulative. I talk about that here: ruclips.net/video/8sBKq8cRs78/видео.html
@@terri_cole I hope its not my falute for people having trust issus. I'm always telling the truth to him at least. but somtime his trust issuis hurts me
Mam which country u from😊😊
Do not trust.