#6 Discounting my own value, #8 Downplaying my own Successes, and almost all the others. Except for #13. I keep a lot of the promises I make to myself. Thanks for the video really hit home.
Have a hard time making decisions. I don’t respect my own needs and wants. I discount my own value. I beat myself up. I downplay my successes. I over think what the right thing to say, to do, and to be. I replay the things I’ve said or another person said..I try to control everything around me. I’m really hard on myself. I break promises to myself. I believe in other peoples opinions more than my own.
Having to control others 😔 - I love your channel, Julia! 🥰 such great insight....I realize I don’t trust myself, because I didn’t leave my abusive marriage when I should have...but I didn’t realize that me being controlling in my new, beautiful relationship was because I didn’t trust myself to take care of ME...so I needed to make sure my wonderful man did a perfect job of taking care of ME...that was so eye opening when you said that...I need to learn to trust that even if all the world abandons me, I will not abandon myself....thank you so much for this! 😇
The increase in self-love has given me many things: 1. I am able to love others even when they don't deserve it. 2.I have an increased ability to forgive others. 3. I am naturally a better person. 4. I am not hurt as much by what others think of me. 5. I am more adventurous. 6. I think I look good. I don't have to look like a model to be attractive. 7. I am able to forgive myself for mistakes and move on.
Things that break self trust: 1)decision paralysis-> don’t trust how we will treat ourselves if we make the wrong decision 2)Don’t acknowledge our own wants or needs-> shows up as people pleasing, codependence not respecting our wants and needs, fusion 3)don’t let process emotions 4)second guessing->because we aren’t sure how well treat ourselves, because we don’t trust that we won’t catch ourselves instead of kick ourselves when we’re down. 5)don’t believe in your inherent worth 6)discount own value 7) beat yourself up for your mistakes 8) downplay successes 9)
8)overthink what the right thing is to do->afraid of your own reaction if it goes poorly 9)overly ruminating 10)try too much to control your environment 11)really hard on yourself ->we are scared to be ourselves 12)no problem breaking promises to ourselves 13)pass off decisions to other people 14)you believe that others peoples onionion of you is more important than your own Take the time to believe who we are, knowing who we are
The hard truth and what hit me the most is that I believe what others opinion about me more than I believe in myself. It made my head spin bc that’s exactly what I have done most of my life and that not fair to me. I have try to work thru the crap ppl said about me and making myself more worthy to be loved. However ppl are hard to please. I’ve given up at times thinking is not goi g to get better and I have to focus on myself. I have to work on trusting myself more!
As an instructional assistant at a community college, my very first day, I had to explain to someone that they deserve to be in the classroom. "I don't know why your father said those things to you (lack intelligence) but you are here, you're doing it, so you are worthy. Whatever reason he said that, it's his problem, not yours."
You cannot have good self-esteem without self trust. If there is no trust, it’s hard to have a healthy relationship. Signs you don’t trust yourself : 1. Have a hard time making decisions. 2. You don’t acknowledge your own wants and needs. 3. You don’t let yourself process your feelings. 4. You second guess yourself often. 5. You don’t believe in your inherent worth. 6. You discount your own value. 7. You beat yourself up for your mistakes. 8. You downplay your success. 9. You often overthink what the right thing is to do. 10. You overly ruminate what you said or did. 11. You try too much to control your environment. 12. You’re really hard on yourself( shoulds). 13. You have no problem breaking promises to yourself. 14. You pass off decisions to other people most of the time. 15. You believe that other people’s opinion of you is more important than your own.
For me, it is certainly the value I place on other people’s opinion on me more than the value I place on myself. Even those who hardly know me and who are quick to judge on the basis of practically nothing. It’s a killer for me. I am slowly getting better at recognising it and trying to question my feelings around this.
this is exactly what i've realized lately.. it really is the center of all self confidence and self love, so i started slowly working on it. thanks for this video!
I super love this video, taught me a lot! These are the things that resonated to me most: 1. Hard time making decisions 2. No problem breaking promises for yourself 3. Pass off decisions to others Will need to work on trusting myself more. Thank you so much for this, very helpful!
This is really nice to hear. I actually have trust in myself! There are definitely some moments where I question myself but I believe this is normal. It doesn’t meant that I don’t trust myself. Something that really helped me is to stop looking for external validation and started becoming my own healer / validator. It’s been a long journey but I have come so far and I’m very proud of myself. I want those to know that are on this journey that it isn’t just one straight road, it’s very back and forth! Don’t beat yourself up over it. Progress is not linear.
I want to trust myself without deceiving myself. I really fear self deception knowing I'm my own worst enemy. I really like this video and find it very helpful. Thank you Julia K.
I watched this with full knowledge that I need to build some self trust, and the first 14 hit like a sledgehammer, but the last one, about believing external opinions over my own about my life, hit like a bomb. I also had not realized that my attempts to build self-esteem and self-confidence needed a foundation of self trust, so I have some things to work on, written on my wall
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, love thyself, trust thyself. Holding back from opening your mouth is self-trust as you are building patience, tolerance & wisdom. Your self-compassion is growing & your cup is so full this compassion spills over to the person (people) who is hurting so much while their mouth is spewing obscenities. Dampen your senses a moment, calm your ears, eyes, brain to pass judgment as you know there are vast possibilities of the outcome. Your compassion will then give you an inner vision of this person's suffering & soon you see their reaction from their point of view. We all struggle and we are all perfectly imperfect. Hafiz said, "I am made whole by your life. Each soul, each soul completes me." Welcome all the thoughts & emotions of your life as well as those of others and watch your Love & Light carry you in Peace & Calmness (Rumi).
I have all 15 points..I really struggle to trust myself. Love to pass on decisions to others. But the fact that you said "what if I am still not to blame, even if I made the wrong decision" is such an eye opener for me. Because I would usually blame and beat myself up.
Ruminating and obsessing about my past mistakes, being hard on myself,beating up myself for past mistakes ,feeling stuck thinking what people are gonna say or think,yeah julia that's me
Hello everyone, I am here because I've realized that for most of my life - or from when I can first remember 11-12 I started to feel like I wasn't enough and would be desperate to change my exterior bc I did not know how else to make change especially at that age. I began to be a follower instead of just liking what I like and being curious, I was a critical child and even once I was told I was pessimistic (jokingly called Miss Pessimistic) by a teacher. I always wonder where and why is this rooted in me but I can't recall a specific time where something traumatizing or daunting happened. All I know is, I have been anxious even as a little one, my 5th teacher wrote to me "everything will be fine, stay calm and keep moving forward". It is now that I see how much work I need to do, and I have somewhat begun but I know that it isn't consistent or even intentional sometimes. What I know is that I feel emotionally tired/drained and I would like for one second to stop thinking about me but my task at hand or what I am learning, and really soak that information in. For the most part I feel like I am alive but not living and I feel like I hear but don't listen because these thoughts consume me. Thank you.
I am feeling like I am going through this shift right now. There are many things that have happened recently and I noticed I am trying to get through it like I usually do but it's more survival mode. Just push through it and do action. I am definitely having a hard time processing my emotions. I never really did this before and although you get through the mess at the time, it's starting to surface in ways such as anger, indecisiveness, brain fog, not living in the moment. Im trying to change and so glad I came upon this video... I needed to hear this
I have a very uneven habit of trusting myself because it largely depends on the situation I’m in! For example, with school-related things, I generally know I’ll be fine. I hope you’re having a great day ❤️
@@juliakristinamah I want to start by being more independent and also learn to better forgive others and not have such high expectations of those around me! Another area regarding self-trust I know I need to do better in involves trying certain things rather than making excuses about why it won’t turn out well
Many of these points I have always just put down to a life long lack of confidence. I have never thought of it in terms of self trust. This could change the way I look at many situations. Thank you for this, I appreciate you putting it out there for us.
I have every single one of the signs that I don't trust myself. In fact, I knew beforehand that I don't trust myself at all. This behavior has kept me stuck in life since my early teens. I am always doubting my decisions, my future goals, and now I have two beautiful girls that deserve some one with a healthy mind to help them build character to overcome the unexpected events of life or to just simply be 100 percent them. I have been working hard on not being so hard on me, on giving my self positive self talk and since I been doing this I have noticed how much I have been putting myself down throught the years (20 years of self hate and mistrust) thank you for your great videos. 😘
Hello Ana, I have had a very similar experience growing up. Give gratitude to yours and “The Universe” that you have discovered this and admitted it to yourself - because that’s hard and most people don’t - Set about expanding your awareness of times your don’t trust yourself and “have some humour with yourself” if you catch yourself not trusting and then forgive yourself and move on. The Ancient Hawaii Prayer Ho’oponopono is Fantastic for Self-Forgiveness. Dr Joe Vitale has a great 7.5 minute video explaining it. - I hope that helps. I feel excited anticipation for your new journey of self- trust/ love/ worthiness and forgiveness. Take care. X💪🏽😃💫🌈
@@paula-elizabeth I watched the video you suggested and while at first didn't make any sense now I get what is trying to say. I think the message is, look inside and heal from the inside. I will practice the prayer starting today. Thank you.
Most of these I could resonate with --- what I found most helpful was to realize (from your talk), that the way to healing these is when life goes awry (not if, but when b/c it always does) then it is up to me to treat myself with the same kindness, respect, and understanding that I would a good friend. The distrust comes & even builds when I continue to criticize / beat myself up when life doesn't go as I had planned. My self trust will increase as I accept the situation without the accompanying voices in my head that tell me I am not good enough, a failure, etc Perhaps if I can stop the critical thoughts, the self trust will build.
Yes to this Nancy. Watching those thoughts and working on being kind and compassionate toward ourselves instead of critical is huge. We're doing a 14 day challenge on exactly this right now in The Shift Society and people are having breakthroughs just by not letting themselves be mean to themselves.
All three : self - esteem, confidence and self - trust come from a positive sense of identity -they are reflections of how well we were nurtured as children. Not meeting child's needs for attachment, relational safety and basic physical well -being leads to complex trauma - we end up having a shame based, negative sense of identity which requires continuous reparenting. We need self -love, self -care and relational support to heal and that will restore self - trust.
Thank you so much for bringing me clarity and understanding on the fact that I do not have self-trust and that I need it for myself. I resonate so much with Brene Brown, and I resonate so much with you. Working on my self-worth has been a constant struggle and its the ultimate means to an end for me. Thank you so much, this is helping me in ways that I thought never possible.
It was really difficult for me to explain what I was feeling and after watching this video I can completely understand myself better I can completely relate to this. Thank you so much after watching this i have more clarity. Wauw I'm finally able to believe what I am and how to improve myself. Thank you so much 🌹
Hi Julia, all of these signs resonates. Some more than others, yet I am seeing from this how I had started to grow-up, lol, with the help of insights like yours, and other authors, teachers and counselling. ❤
Every single point. As if you were directly describing me. I’m so bad, though, that I can’t even begin to figure out what small steps I could take to get on the right road…
Thanks Julia. I find very helpful your videos. I love them. And i feel very gratefull you put the subtitles for the people who English is our second language. Thanks so much!! 🤗
Wow!! I have listened to several of your videos now. Everyone and every word is so potent for me. At 58, I sit realizing I have very few skills under my belt like boundaries and self trust etc. I’ve been a wreck for years and feel worn down and depleted. I am very grateful to have found your so well expressed information. I have a lot of work to do. I am worth it!! Thank you so much for every word you speak!!
Thank you julia kristina. Self Educational experience, for me. You install many good things , in me. You make me come to terms with myself. You make me a better person. Slowly it gets to me. While listening to you, i adopt your instructions, emulating it in my mind. Even just for the duration of this film, it feels good, it feels right. You make me feel better. You are the best thing that happened to me, on youtube. You are guiding me. It is a miracle, because it is very hard to get to me. No one gets to me. Your smile.
It's great to have this list and understand the meaning for myself and for my loved ones. I can beat myself up for mistakes, ruminate on past actions, and break promises to myself. Recenctly I noticed that I'm more inclinced to get out of bed quickly when I have to do something for others. When I am going to do something for myself (yoga, errands, make a smoothie), I usually stay in bed longer before getting up.
All of these really hit home for me -it’s amazing how we show up for others but not ourselves. I’m definitely working on it though. I needed to hear this -thank you so much for bringing this out. I am really thinking about getting on the waitlist for the shift society. This is the time that I have got to work on me and love myself and put me first.
I'd love to have you in there Lynn. I wish I could explain how transformational The Shift Society is and how incredible the support from the other Shifters is - I know you'd love it.
@@juliakristinamah -I will put my email on the waiting list -Thank you for responding to me and thank you for your amazing content -it really does help me understand things better. 😊
Hello Julia, I used to not trust myself and I’m moving past this. Thank-you, your video really helped me see how far I’ve come and where I need more awareness. X👍🏽💫😃🌟🌈X
I’m 29 . I discover that all my life I being depressed and not believing in muself. I want si much to feel good , it’s feel alone and I’m isolating myself . I wanna don’t talk to anyone but everyday I keep my energy to talk and share with other people but the thing is I don’t want . I feel that nobody undertsand me . The thing with other decide even go to a fast food is me . Now I have goals and I’m scare . I wanna do things.
Been binge watching your videos all day...they calm me down. Almost all of the points I could relate to in this one. Thank you so much for the content and I always look forward to when you post here or on Instagram. ❤️❤️
Which of these connected with me? Every single one. I learned something important. And I deserve better. Thank you for this video. It was very enlightening. I want to trust myself. I want to learn how to trust myself.
Almost all of the seigns I recognised, oh dear. Ik need to work on this since I am in a divorce right now and I will be together with myself in the future. So thank you Julia Kristina.
What i took from this is that if my boundaries are being threatened, i will politely decline and say no to whatever it is with the intention of understanding that getting the other person to dislike me works better in my favor. ⛲
Hi from a new subscriber 👋 I'm a 23 yo woman and I'm so so broken. My parents divorced when I was 10. My dad emotionally hurt my mom and I so much. I've lived my childhood swimming in a pool of lies, manipulation, cheating, emotional abuse. He also compared me to every girl and I was never enough. And now, I'm living a never-ending torture. I'm with an incredible man for 3 years now. But I don't trust him. I can't trust him. Like, 'he's gonna find someone better'. Everytime he talks to a girl, my head says 'He's preferring her'. I am conscious that I'm on a looooong journey. I'm slowly standing up by myself. But that's so damn hard.
Julia, you have helped me so much in the past 3 months. Been learning to set boundaries, love myself, heal, let go of relationships that are not good for me; and will eventually learn to trust men again... Thank you for your heart, and your videos. They help me so much. God bless you!
This is so good. I have had major issues trusting myself because I have a Narcissistic mother who gaslight me in childhood & caused me to mistrust myself and everyone. I’m going to work on this. I’ve learned about inner child work, my codependency and anxious attachment style. This is so important to educate people about this. Thank you! 💕
Listening to you makes me realise how far I've come because some of the things you mentioned were things I used to do but I've learned to trust myself more and more. The one thing that I do is think over and over conversations saying I said something wrong and even with articulating myself. I've always stood up for myself and I always stand up for what I believe in. And the one thing that does not bother me so much is people's opinions of me, sometimes it can get to me but most times I'm like whatever they're not me, they have no idea who I really am and people will always have something to say.
Wow Julia this video fits me to a T! everything you talked about is what I struggle with every day, I have learned some tools to use when I see myself reverting back to old unhealthy thinking, but when you've spent your whole life pretty much stuck in that crap, it's still a challenge for me to overcome. Your such a big help Julia, you bring things up just when I need to hear them thank you.
Dear Kristina, eye-opener! One can take the 15 signs as a start... But yesterday to me it happened with a Lady... I can't continue with cause of these signs... Yes, I trust myself and everytime things happening in which selfreflection brings me back to my own worthy trusting myself.. You notice the other signs quicker at others... And.... Always have your few friends to reflect on on.
I can literally relate to all 15 of these...yikes! This video was very eye opening to me. For the longest time I tried to control other people’s perceptions of me through perfectionism because I was scared of their judgments and opinions but I was actually more scared of how I would treat myself when those people did have negative opinions of me. Deep down I knew that I would kick myself and go into a shame spiral. I did not trust that i could catch myself. Now that I have made that connection I choose to catch myself no matter the outcome.
I Found this so eye-opening. I constantly replay over and over things I’ve said, written, or done. Drives me crazy. Thank you for helping me figure out what’s going on. Actually, I think I do all of them. So I have a lot of work to do. 🙁😳🙄
Julia, I want to thank you 🙏 You have done so much for me. I wish schools would help out young children with self love, setting healthy boundaries and how to deal with trauma. It’s sad to see so many people with mental health issues... unfortunately ,there isn’t enough professional help provided or supported by our system. I’m astonished
the decision making one was true for me. You said right when I was acting indecisively regarding a decision regarding my tea (explaining the choice would take too long). I noticed that the reason I wasn't making a particular choice - let's call it "Option A" instead of "Option B" - was because I thought that just because I think "A" is the choice to make doesn't mean that is the correct choice to make. I asked myself "for what reason do I think that?", and I found my answer to be "because I don't always make the choice that is correct/useful". But then I challenged that. And I came to realize that, since survival is the aim anyway - survival for us as a whole, including me as well as others - , that since I've made it this far and not died (and also not caused the destruction of the whole community of living things), that many choices I've made so far must've been the correct choice to make. So then the statement must be false; and what must instead be true is "I very often make the correct/useful choice"; and so "because I think Option A is the choice to make, it is very likely (if not certain in this case) that it truly is the choice to make". And so I did what I've labelled Option A. In other words, whatever thoughts we may think whilst we are acting in a way that is a sign of not trusting ourselves - challenging those thoughts can help. Oh and I appreciate the efforts you put in making this video. I've not finished it yet but I love it so far - I know I'll love it all ✌🏽
Hi Julia, I’m a subscriber from England. Just to say that I’m so pleased I found your channel. It makes all the difference to me and so helps me get through the tough times. Thank you so much.
not having much structure growing up i felt more responible to pick myself up, this could be why i feel like i vant trust myself because when other people feel like they dont think i am respobible, this makez me feel like i am not respobinle
i wish i had struxture. I want structure, i need it in fact, because i feel like witout it, i can not do things. I sturggle with ita nd that could explain why i struggle with bingin and likeing the pain of being uncomfortably full, becayse this tells me that i am definately full. i just dont trust me, or my thoughts. i actually kinda hate it. I feel like a child
Julia, you are singing my life theme song, I don’t trust myself at all and it shows up EVERYWHERE! I am intentionally working on these, wow , I do all of these.
What resonated with me was I don’t know how to process my feelings so I am living in constant fear of not trusting myself as I was brought up to believe I couldn’t do anything right so how can I possibly be any good when this is my core belief. Also that has made me feel I am not important because that’s how my parents (especially my mother) made me feel . so I’m scared of my feelings and myself and therefore afraid to admit I have needs or what those needs are just in case I can’t meet them .
This is something I struggle with as I was taught growing up that I was responsible for other people by whay I said and how I acted was a reflection on other people.
Christ Julia You hit every nail on the head, That really opened my mind to it, Bang on every point, It cost me dearly not really knowing this. I'm going g to digest this slowly Thank You.
Getting help has been incredibly difficult and this video gave me so much to be cognizant of that I can use with future therapy going forward. Very very very helpful.
I do these everyday. What does life look like actually trusting myself? I grew up a twin and relied on her dominant opinions to make my decisions and it all transferred to my codependency. Motivation to change seems futile at 52. I can only hope that recognizing it can push me to change and make a better conscious decision on how to react. Thank you for the video. 🙏🏽💙
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What connected with you from our talk on self-trust?
#6 Discounting my own value, #8 Downplaying my own Successes, and almost all the others. Except for #13. I keep a lot of the promises I make to myself. Thanks for the video really hit home.
@@jdfirewalker really glad it helped, and glad you're here.
Have a hard time making decisions. I don’t respect my own needs and wants. I discount my own value. I beat myself up. I downplay my successes. I over think what the right thing to say, to do, and to be. I replay the things I’ve said or another person said..I try to control everything around me. I’m really hard on myself. I break promises to myself. I believe in other peoples opinions more than my own.
I bought your Building self trust work book and I have blogged about how great it is
Having to control others 😔 - I love your channel, Julia! 🥰 such great insight....I realize I don’t trust myself, because I didn’t leave my abusive marriage when I should have...but I didn’t realize that me being controlling in my new, beautiful relationship was because I didn’t trust myself to take care of ME...so I needed to make sure my wonderful man did a perfect job of taking care of ME...that was so eye opening when you said that...I need to learn to trust that even if all the world abandons me, I will not abandon myself....thank you so much for this! 😇
The increase in self-love has given me many things:
1. I am able to love others even when they don't deserve it.
2.I have an increased ability to forgive others.
3. I am naturally a better person.
4. I am not hurt as much by what others think of me.
5. I am more adventurous.
6. I think I look good. I don't have to look like a model to be attractive.
7. I am able to forgive myself for mistakes and move on.
This is beautiful an 100% truth.
👍🏽👏🏽👏🏽💫
I’m so glad to be hearing from you. I need this.
That is so cool. I hope I can say something similar about my progress one day. Inspiring! 👍🏼
Why do you want to love the undeserving?
Things that break self trust:
1)decision paralysis-> don’t trust how we will treat ourselves if we make the wrong decision
2)Don’t acknowledge our own wants or needs-> shows up as people pleasing, codependence not respecting our wants and needs, fusion
3)don’t let process emotions
4)second guessing->because we aren’t sure how well treat ourselves, because we don’t trust that we won’t catch ourselves instead of kick ourselves when we’re down.
5)don’t believe in your inherent worth
6)discount own value
7) beat yourself up for your mistakes
8) downplay successes
9)
8)overthink what the right thing is to do->afraid of your own reaction if it goes poorly
9)overly ruminating
10)try too much to control your environment
11)really hard on yourself ->we are scared to be ourselves
12)no problem breaking promises to ourselves
13)pass off decisions to other people
14)you believe that others peoples onionion of you is more important than your own
Take the time to believe who we are, knowing who we are
The hard truth and what hit me the most is that I believe what others opinion about me more than I believe in myself. It made my head spin bc that’s exactly what I have done most of my life and that not fair to me. I have try to work thru the crap ppl said about me and making myself more worthy to be loved. However ppl are hard to please. I’ve given up at times thinking is not goi g to get better and I have to focus on myself. I have to work on trusting myself more!
here to support you along the way.
As an instructional assistant at a community college, my very first day, I had to explain to someone that they deserve to be in the classroom. "I don't know why your father said those things to you (lack intelligence) but you are here, you're doing it, so you are worthy. Whatever reason he said that, it's his problem, not yours."
You cannot have good self-esteem without self trust.
If there is no trust, it’s hard to have a healthy relationship.
Signs you don’t trust yourself :
1. Have a hard time making decisions.
2. You don’t acknowledge your own wants and needs.
3. You don’t let yourself process your feelings.
4. You second guess yourself often.
5. You don’t believe in your inherent worth.
6. You discount your own value.
7. You beat yourself up for your mistakes.
8. You downplay your success.
9. You often overthink what the right thing is to do.
10. You overly ruminate what you said or did.
11. You try too much to control your environment.
12. You’re really hard on yourself( shoulds).
13. You have no problem breaking promises to yourself.
14. You pass off decisions to other people most of the time.
15. You believe that other people’s opinion of you is more important than your own.
Thanks! Was looking for the list.
Would clicked right passed it if I hadn't pressed 'click more'.
It breaks my heart that i can relate to all of these. I don't trust myself. Especially the ones about over analyzing everything i write, or message.
Same here.
Permission from others for our own decision making....
For me, it is certainly the value I place on other people’s opinion on me more than the value I place on myself. Even those who hardly know me and who are quick to judge on the basis of practically nothing. It’s a killer for me. I am slowly getting better at recognising it and trying to question my feelings around this.
This is great Aditi - keep it up!
I am beginning to Trust myself more and more each day💖 in my family life, my career and my personal goals‼️
Yes!! Standing up and cheering. GOOD for you.
I feel intense fear that stops me from taking action and I miss the opportunity.
Gratitude 🖤💜✨
Unfortunately, I can relate to all of these. Thank you for bringing this to my attention! 🙂
Glad it helped bring some insight Michelle.
Same here
this is exactly what i've realized lately.. it really is the center of all self confidence and self love, so i started slowly working on it. thanks for this video!
Absolutely. I'm really glad it connected.
I super love this video, taught me a lot! These are the things that resonated to me most:
1. Hard time making decisions
2. No problem breaking promises for yourself
3. Pass off decisions to others
Will need to work on trusting myself more. Thank you so much for this, very helpful!
This is really nice to hear. I actually have trust in myself! There are definitely some moments where I question myself but I believe this is normal. It doesn’t meant that I don’t trust myself. Something that really helped me is to stop looking for external validation and started becoming my own healer / validator. It’s been a long journey but I have come so far and I’m very proud of myself. I want those to know that are on this journey that it isn’t just one straight road, it’s very back and forth! Don’t beat yourself up over it. Progress is not linear.
Amen, and good for you!
I been on this journey too long damnit
I want to trust myself without deceiving myself. I really fear self deception knowing I'm my own worst enemy. I really like this video and find it very helpful. Thank you Julia K.
Time to be your own best friend Jerr. You deserve that from you.
How to get over fear?
I watched this with full knowledge that I need to build some self trust, and the first 14 hit like a sledgehammer, but the last one, about believing external opinions over my own about my life, hit like a bomb. I also had not realized that my attempts to build self-esteem and self-confidence needed a foundation of self trust, so I have some things to work on, written on my wall
Preach Julia!!!! I felt like you were speaking directly to me!! Pure gold here! Thank you Julia! You are truly changing the world! 🌎 we 💗 you!
Rita, you are so kind. I truly do love you all too, and I'm so glad this connected.
Thank you, Kingdom Blessings 03/08/23
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, love thyself, trust thyself. Holding back from opening your mouth is self-trust as you are building patience, tolerance & wisdom. Your self-compassion is growing & your cup is so full this compassion spills over to the person (people) who is hurting so much while their mouth is spewing obscenities. Dampen your senses a moment, calm your ears, eyes, brain to pass judgment as you know there are vast possibilities of the outcome. Your compassion will then give you an inner vision of this person's suffering & soon you see their reaction from their point of view. We all struggle and we are all perfectly imperfect. Hafiz said, "I am made whole by your life. Each soul, each soul completes me." Welcome all the thoughts & emotions of your life as well as those of others and watch your Love & Light carry you in Peace & Calmness (Rumi).
I have all 15 points..I really struggle to trust myself. Love to pass on decisions to others. But the fact that you said "what if I am still not to blame, even if I made the wrong decision" is such an eye opener for me. Because I would usually blame and beat myself up.
Ruminating and obsessing about my past mistakes, being hard on myself,beating up myself for past mistakes ,feeling stuck thinking what people are gonna say or think,yeah julia that's me
Hello everyone, I am here because I've realized that for most of my life - or from when I can first remember 11-12 I started to feel like I wasn't enough and would be desperate to change my exterior bc I did not know how else to make change especially at that age. I began to be a follower instead of just liking what I like and being curious, I was a critical child and even once I was told I was pessimistic (jokingly called Miss Pessimistic) by a teacher. I always wonder where and why is this rooted in me but I can't recall a specific time where something traumatizing or daunting happened. All I know is, I have been anxious even as a little one, my 5th teacher wrote to me "everything will be fine, stay calm and keep moving forward". It is now that I see how much work I need to do, and I have somewhat begun but I know that it isn't consistent or even intentional sometimes. What I know is that I feel emotionally tired/drained and I would like for one second to stop thinking about me but my task at hand or what I am learning, and really soak that information in. For the most part I feel like I am alive but not living and I feel like I hear but don't listen because these thoughts consume me. Thank you.
All of them except devaluation which isn't good but the rest them shows a lack of trust in myself. Thanks for the download 😊
I am feeling like I am going through this shift right now. There are many things that have happened recently and I noticed I am trying to get through it like I usually do but it's more survival mode. Just push through it and do action. I am definitely having a hard time processing my emotions. I never really did this before and although you get through the mess at the time, it's starting to surface in ways such as anger, indecisiveness, brain fog, not living in the moment. Im trying to change and so glad I came upon this video... I needed to hear this
I have a very uneven habit of trusting myself because it largely depends on the situation I’m in! For example, with school-related things, I generally know I’ll be fine. I hope you’re having a great day ❤️
Where do you want to build your self-trust?
@@juliakristinamah I want to start by being more independent and also learn to better forgive others and not have such high expectations of those around me! Another area regarding self-trust I know I need to do better in involves trying certain things rather than making excuses about why it won’t turn out well
Many of these points I have always just put down to a life long lack of confidence. I have never thought of it in terms of self trust. This could change the way I look at many situations. Thank you for this, I appreciate you putting it out there for us.
I am working on not controlling others, and not seeking approval in my decision making. Trusting my own choices is huge for me!
Indecisiveness being stuck in a loop to protect myself from pain of the outside and learn to process my feelings.
Thank you Julia!
I have every single one of the signs that I don't trust myself. In fact, I knew beforehand that I don't trust myself at all. This behavior has kept me stuck in life since my early teens. I am always doubting my decisions, my future goals, and now I have two beautiful girls that deserve some one with a healthy mind to help them build character to overcome the unexpected events of life or to just simply be 100 percent them. I have been working hard on not being so hard on me, on giving my self positive self talk and since I been doing this I have noticed how much I have been putting myself down throught the years (20 years of self hate and mistrust) thank you for your great videos. 😘
Hello Ana, I have had a very similar experience growing up.
Give gratitude to yours and “The Universe” that you have discovered this and admitted it to yourself - because that’s hard and most people don’t - Set about expanding your awareness of times your don’t trust yourself and “have some humour with yourself” if you catch yourself not trusting and then forgive yourself and move on. The Ancient Hawaii Prayer Ho’oponopono is Fantastic for Self-Forgiveness. Dr Joe Vitale has a great 7.5 minute video explaining it. - I hope that helps. I feel excited anticipation for your new journey of self- trust/ love/ worthiness and forgiveness. Take care. X💪🏽😃💫🌈
@@paula-elizabeth I watched the video you suggested and while at first didn't make any sense now I get what is trying to say. I think the message is, look inside and heal from the inside. I will practice the prayer starting today. Thank you.
@@anaml3879 Absolutely Ana! - Now is your time to Shine! 💫😃🌟
Most of these I could resonate with --- what I found most helpful was to realize (from your talk), that the way to healing these is when life goes awry (not if, but when b/c it always does) then it is up to me to treat myself with the same kindness, respect, and understanding that I would a good friend. The distrust comes & even builds when I continue to criticize / beat myself up when life doesn't go as I had planned. My self trust will increase as I accept the situation without the accompanying voices in my head that tell me I am not good enough, a failure, etc Perhaps if I can stop the critical thoughts, the self trust will build.
Yes to this Nancy. Watching those thoughts and working on being kind and compassionate toward ourselves instead of critical is huge. We're doing a 14 day challenge on exactly this right now in The Shift Society and people are having breakthroughs just by not letting themselves be mean to themselves.
All three : self - esteem, confidence and self - trust come from a positive sense of identity -they are reflections of how well we were nurtured as children. Not meeting child's needs for attachment, relational safety and basic physical well -being leads to complex trauma - we end up having a shame based, negative sense of identity which requires continuous reparenting. We need self -love, self -care and relational support to heal and that will restore self - trust.
Self Trust is one I really need to work on
Thank you so much for bringing me clarity and understanding on the fact that I do not have self-trust and that I need it for myself. I resonate so much with Brene Brown, and I resonate so much with you.
Working on my self-worth has been a constant struggle and its the ultimate means to an end for me. Thank you so much, this is helping me in ways that I thought never possible.
good for YOU for showing up for yourself. That's everything.
Thank you, Julia. It opens up my eyes to how much I REALLY TRUST MYSELF.
It was really difficult for me to explain what I was feeling and after watching this video I can completely understand myself better I can completely relate to this. Thank you so much after watching this i have more clarity. Wauw I'm finally able to believe what I am and how to improve myself. Thank you so much 🌹
Hello Joti, that’s Fantastic! - Well Done! 👍🏽✅✨
Really glad to hear it.
I love it when you find a life changing channel on RUclips 🙏
Hi Julia, all of these signs resonates. Some more than others, yet I am seeing from this how I had started to grow-up, lol, with the help of insights like yours, and other authors, teachers and counselling. ❤
Every single point. As if you were directly describing me. I’m so bad, though, that I can’t even begin to figure out what small steps I could take to get on the right road…
Thanks Julia. I find very helpful your videos. I love them. And i feel very gratefull you put the subtitles for the people who English is our second language. Thanks so much!! 🤗
Wow!! I have listened to several of your videos now. Everyone and every word is so potent for me. At 58, I sit realizing I have very few skills under my belt like boundaries and self trust etc. I’ve been a wreck for years and feel worn down and depleted. I am very grateful to have found your so well expressed information. I have a lot of work to do. I am worth it!! Thank you so much for every word you speak!!
Thank you julia kristina.
Self Educational experience, for me.
You install many good things , in me.
You make me come to terms with myself.
You make me a better person. Slowly it gets to me.
While listening to you, i adopt your instructions, emulating it in my mind. Even just for the duration of this film, it feels good, it feels right.
You make me feel better.
You are the best thing that happened to me, on youtube.
You are guiding me.
It is a miracle, because it is very hard to get to me. No one gets to me.
Your smile.
It's great to have this list and understand the meaning for myself and for my loved ones. I can beat myself up for mistakes, ruminate on past actions, and break promises to myself. Recenctly I noticed that I'm more inclinced to get out of bed quickly when I have to do something for others. When I am going to do something for myself (yoga, errands, make a smoothie), I usually stay in bed longer before getting up.
Very helpful, thanks.
All of these really hit home for me -it’s amazing how we show up for others but not ourselves. I’m definitely working on it though. I needed to hear this -thank you so much for bringing this out. I am really thinking about getting on the waitlist for the shift society. This is the time that I have got to work on me and love myself and put me first.
I'd love to have you in there Lynn. I wish I could explain how transformational The Shift Society is and how incredible the support from the other Shifters is - I know you'd love it.
@@juliakristinamah -I will put my email on the waiting list -Thank you for responding to me and thank you for your amazing content -it really does help me understand things better. 😊
Hello Julia, I used to not trust myself and I’m moving past this. Thank-you, your video really helped me see how far I’ve come and where I need more awareness. X👍🏽💫😃🌟🌈X
Really glad it connected - happy you're here.
im on a journey of self love after years of deep depression and you've been helping lots, thank you!
Thx, 3rd vid. and yer style draws out my need for restatement of truths you unveil so simply and solidly.
I’m 29 . I discover that all my life I being depressed and not believing in muself. I want si much to feel good , it’s feel alone and I’m isolating myself . I wanna don’t talk to anyone but everyday I keep my energy to talk and share with other people but the thing is I don’t want .
I feel that nobody undertsand me . The thing with other decide even go to a fast food is me .
Now I have goals and I’m scare . I wanna do things.
I didn't realize that I was afraid of how I would treat myself if my decisions didn't turn out. So I keep waiting for a sure sign. Thankyou for this !
Yup. Downplaying successes is a BIG one. Definitely guilty of this more often than I would like.
Time to appreciate you more, you think?
@@juliakristinamah Yes. Needed this today. Thanks for the encouragement. :)
Been binge watching your videos all day...they calm me down. Almost all of the points I could relate to in this one. Thank you so much for the content and I always look forward to when you post here or on Instagram. ❤️❤️
Great to connect with you - thanks for watching.
Which of these connected with me? Every single one. I learned something important. And I deserve better. Thank you for this video. It was very enlightening. I want to trust myself. I want to learn how to trust myself.
Glad it connected. Here's to your healthier, more loving relationship with you ❤️
Almost all of the seigns I recognised, oh dear. Ik need to work on this since I am in a divorce right now and I will be together with myself in the future. So thank you Julia Kristina.
Really glad you found it helpful Fairy.
What i took from this is that if my boundaries are being threatened, i will politely decline and say no to whatever it is with the intention of understanding that getting the other person to dislike me works better in my favor. ⛲
Hi from a new subscriber 👋
I'm a 23 yo woman and I'm so so broken.
My parents divorced when I was 10. My dad emotionally hurt my mom and I so much.
I've lived my childhood swimming in a pool of lies, manipulation, cheating, emotional abuse.
He also compared me to every girl and I was never enough.
And now, I'm living a never-ending torture. I'm with an incredible man for 3 years now. But I don't trust him. I can't trust him.
Like, 'he's gonna find someone better'. Everytime he talks to a girl, my head says 'He's preferring her'.
I am conscious that I'm on a looooong journey. I'm slowly standing up by myself. But that's so damn hard.
Hi I love your stuff. Been a pastor for 27 years. Learning so much from you about myself and others. Thanks
Just the video I needed, also congrats on 200k!!
Thanks for noticing Anna!
Julia, you have helped me so much in the past 3 months. Been learning to set boundaries, love myself, heal, let go of relationships that are not good for me; and will eventually learn to trust men again... Thank you for your heart, and your videos. They help me so much. God bless you!
This is so good. I have had major issues trusting myself because I have a Narcissistic mother who gaslight me in childhood & caused me to mistrust myself and everyone. I’m going to work on this. I’ve learned about inner child work, my codependency and anxious attachment style. This is so important to educate people about this.
Thank you! 💕
Listening to you makes me realise how far I've come because some of the things you mentioned were things I used to do but I've learned to trust myself more and more. The one thing that I do is think over and over conversations saying I said something wrong and even with articulating myself. I've always stood up for myself and I always stand up for what I believe in. And the one thing that does not bother me so much is people's opinions of me, sometimes it can get to me but most times I'm like whatever they're not me, they have no idea who I really am and people will always have something to say.
Wow Julia this video fits me to a T! everything you talked about is what I struggle with every day, I have learned some tools to use when I see myself reverting back to old unhealthy thinking, but when you've spent your whole life pretty much stuck in that crap, it's still a challenge for me to overcome. Your such a big help Julia, you bring things up just when I need to hear them thank you.
Dear Kristina, eye-opener! One can take the 15 signs as a start... But yesterday to me it happened with a Lady... I can't continue with cause of these signs... Yes, I trust myself and everytime things happening in which selfreflection brings me back to my own worthy trusting myself..
You notice the other signs quicker at others... And.... Always have your few friends to reflect on on.
This is excellent - particularly the trouble with decision making!
I can literally relate to all 15 of these...yikes! This video was very eye opening to me. For the longest time I tried to control other people’s perceptions of me through perfectionism because I was scared of their judgments and opinions but I was actually more scared of how I would treat myself when those people did have negative opinions of me. Deep down I knew that I would kick myself and go into a shame spiral. I did not trust that i could catch myself. Now that I have made that connection I choose to catch myself no matter the outcome.
I Found this so eye-opening. I constantly replay over and over things I’ve said, written, or done. Drives me crazy. Thank you for helping me figure out what’s going on. Actually, I think I do all of them. So I have a lot of work to do. 🙁😳🙄
Julia, I want to thank you 🙏 You have done so much for me. I wish schools would help out young children with self love, setting healthy boundaries and how to deal with trauma. It’s sad to see so many people with mental health issues... unfortunately ,there isn’t enough professional help provided or supported by our system. I’m astonished
Dang Dr julia Christina thank you for your videos its a blessing.
the decision making one was true for me. You said right when I was acting indecisively regarding a decision regarding my tea (explaining the choice would take too long). I noticed that the reason I wasn't making a particular choice - let's call it "Option A" instead of "Option B" - was because I thought that just because I think "A" is the choice to make doesn't mean that is the correct choice to make. I asked myself "for what reason do I think that?", and I found my answer to be "because I don't always make the choice that is correct/useful". But then I challenged that. And I came to realize that, since survival is the aim anyway - survival for us as a whole, including me as well as others - , that since I've made it this far and not died (and also not caused the destruction of the whole community of living things), that many choices I've made so far must've been the correct choice to make. So then the statement must be false; and what must instead be true is "I very often make the correct/useful choice"; and so "because I think Option A is the choice to make, it is very likely (if not certain in this case) that it truly is the choice to make". And so I did what I've labelled Option A.
In other words, whatever thoughts we may think whilst we are acting in a way that is a sign of not trusting ourselves - challenging those thoughts can help.
Oh and I appreciate the efforts you put in making this video. I've not finished it yet but I love it so far - I know I'll love it all ✌🏽
Great insights.
Hi Christina. This is Shak. Your usual listener. Love your work. Its growing on me
Hi Julia, I’m a subscriber from England. Just to say that I’m so pleased I found your channel. It makes all the difference to me and so helps me get through the tough times. Thank you so much.
Hey Rob - welcome here.
not having much structure growing up i felt more responible to pick myself up, this could be why i feel like i vant trust myself because when other people feel like they dont think i am respobible, this makez me feel like i am not respobinle
i wish i had struxture. I want structure, i need it in fact, because i feel like witout it, i can not do things. I sturggle with ita nd that could explain why i struggle with bingin and likeing the pain of being uncomfortably full, becayse this tells me that i am definately full. i just dont trust me, or my thoughts. i actually kinda hate it. I feel like a child
mabye then because i feel like a child, i need help like children need help. Its not easy tbh
Wow. This is a real eye-opener
Julia, you are singing my life theme song, I don’t trust myself at all and it shows up EVERYWHERE! I am intentionally working on these, wow , I do all of these.
Hi I’m Kelly and so glad you popped up! I need this type of help ♥️
I totally resonate with this!! The “perfectionist theme song” really called me out 😅
I can relate with evry word here......thanks alot mam....
These thoughts are my theme song esp at work creating soo much anxiety, esp being so hard on my self. I’m scared at work.
What resonated with me was I don’t know how to process my feelings so I am living in constant fear of not trusting myself as I was brought up to believe I couldn’t do anything right so how can I possibly be any good when this is my core belief. Also that has made me feel I am not important because that’s how my parents (especially my mother) made me feel . so I’m scared of my feelings and myself and therefore afraid to admit I have needs or what those needs are just in case I can’t meet them .
Thank you soooo much.
There isn't so much content about Self-trust
This is something I struggle with as I was taught growing up that I was responsible for other people by whay I said and how I acted was a reflection on other people.
Will be watching this one a few times!
I am learning to Live and Trust Myself helpful advice.
Great for you!
Christ Julia You hit every nail on the head, That really opened my mind to it, Bang on every point, It cost me dearly not really knowing this. I'm going g to digest this slowly Thank You.
Take your time. I"m glad it connected.
I meet every single one of these. Holy crow! Thank you for this. 💞
For sure I identify with all 15 of these
Getting help has been incredibly difficult and this video gave me so much to be cognizant of that I can use with future therapy going forward. Very very very helpful.
This is Mischa Bakaleinikoff and I Luv myself and for sure Trust my self!
It's not me, I 💕 l liked!
Relatable on a lot of levels on all points...how do you start building trust with yourself
Your videos are so good! I loved your ego video's as well!
I need this so bad I swear I need this .
Julia, your videos have been really helpful in my journey to discovering myself.
Good for you for doing the work Tom. That's a big deal.
Practically all of them. It is difficult facing and addressing them.
I hear you Hitesh. Be gentle with yourself, okay?
Yep I want to commit to working on this one
Oh my.. i so much identified with a lot of this.
Thank you, Wow all of them applly
Michael
Thank you 🙏
I do these everyday. What does life look like actually trusting myself? I grew up a twin and relied on her dominant opinions to make my decisions and it all transferred to my codependency. Motivation to change seems futile at 52. I can only hope that recognizing it can push me to change and make a better conscious decision on how to react. Thank you for the video. 🙏🏽💙
I'm 56. It's never too late to make your life better. I've made progress and feel better.
I am 48 will be 49 next week now is the time to trust again, I am working on it.
Almost all of these are true and it's very nice to know this. It helps me realize. Ty so much 🙂
Really glad it was helpful.
New concept, totally agree 💯