I was very confused about my sexuality. I was lying on my bed for hours just thinking how I would "call" myself. Am I straight? Not really. Am I a lesbian? Nope. I was so confused and after a long time I got so tired of thinking 'who I am'. So I decided for myself that I don't need a term for what I'm interested in. I just do it. And that's okay, you don't need a term to fall in love. You just need a heart and the right person.
"I don't need a term for what I'm interested in. I just do it. And that's okay, you don't need a term to fall in love. You just need a heart and the right person." This is a very beautiful saying, and I wholeheartedly agree with it. Thank you for sharing it with the world. As the wonderful Shailene Woodley said, "I don't fall in love with genders. I fall in love with people."
Personally, I feel like Troye is probably one of the most genuine RUclipsrs nowadays. Not to say that RUclipsrs making videos for companies and advertisements is a bad thing at all, it's just making a living and I completely respect that. I just feel like Troye, amongst a lot of other RUclipsrs of course, is making videos that he feels passionately about and I love that. :D Keep inspiring smaller channels Troye, because I know you're definitely inspiring me.
***** hey dylan im actually subscribed to you as well as troye lol but i gotta agree i think youtube as a whole is becoming much more creative and genuine if you look past the advertisements and sponsors... even small youtubers such as yourself are moving away from challenge/tag and prank videos and i mean your the only small youtuber i have seen who edits visual effects and stuff in vloggy type vids which is cool so congrats man lol
Jack Garrity Oh hey mate I didn't expect a reply that quickly haha! :D Thanks so much for the compliment man, and I definitely agree about the increase in creativity throughout the years. I dunno, I just love RUclips. :D
I have to come out as bi pretty much every day too, I also go back in sometimes just to annoy people. In, out, In, out, and on occasion I will expose myself and shake it all about. It's a British thing.
***** Greetings Chris))) Saw your latest vid) Very refreshing to see the real chris... The fans will watch and enjoy whatever you put up... the pressure to 'entertain' is all in your head... I say do the crabstickz character only when its fun and easy for you... we love the character but we love Chris even more))) So in the words of J. Edgar Hoover "Relaaax!!!"
#troyesivan im a mother who had a 14yr old daughter who actually admitted that she's a bisexual. I as a mother was pretty shocked and surprised and didn't understand at first but when she introduced me to you and your music I now thoughtfully understand why she looks up to you. Thank you for everything and we both love you. PLease come to Manila, Philippines!!!
Sis, I know the Philippines has a lot of entrenched homophobia, but … do you have access to statistics about life expectancy in your country? Because the last time I saw any such here, women who had never married a man had a better life expectancy than women who did marry a man. Women who prefer women actually live longer. Please be proud of your daughter, and support her in making relationship choices that keep her safe.
+not exactly sane you are sooo right. Troye is the best person in the world, one of my biggest dreams is to meet him, be able to hug this cutie and thank him for everything
I was forced to come out months ago and it was the most horrible thing I have ever experienced. My mom was like interrogating me and she finally got it out of me as I was sobbing and then to make it worse she told my dad, aunt, uncle, sister, and probably more people after I begged her not to. I've basically lost all my trust in her. Everyone was really awkward around me for a long time. I think they are supportive of me but in not really sure. They also don't really understand my sexuality (pansexual). The thing I want most is to just go back in time and change what happened. I'm still not comfortable with my sexuality myself and now that other people know it's made me even more depressed than before.
Mac Nils Hope you are okay. Find a responsible adult (therapist or councilor) to give you some guidance on what healthy support looks like, your mom cannot do this for you. Call Trevor Project, a local LGBT+ group, anybody, just so you know you are not alone. Stay safe, stay strong.
This is horrible. I'm so sorry that you had to go through that. :( PLEASE. Take your time, and when you are 10000000% comfortable with yourself casually bring it up, and say "Im pan" and go get a frying pan and hold it up to them, :3 okay I'm sorry, I'm tired, I'm probably the same I'm confused.
oh that's so shit, I'm so sorry... I think you should ask them if they support you and if they don't then fuck them, who cares what they think? If it's really you and you're proud and happy with it then that's the only thing that matters. xx
Omg I feel so sorry for you :,( it will be okay.. Really just believe in yourself and just don't ever depend on other people :) hope you live a happy life
I'm a lesbian and I came out to my parents 3 months ago today actually (I came out to my dad 3 months ago yesterday technically and my mom today because the whole different houses thing) but I had extremely different experiences with both of them. When I told my dad it was extremely emotional and a lot of crying and when I told my mom she was just sort of "k cool I knew because your friends are really bad at whispering" but that just sort of proves that you can't tell what you're going to get and you don't know how they're going to react. I thought my mom would yell at me because she's religious but she was extremely accepting. Coming out was the scariest thing I've ever done but once you get over it you'll be okay. I like to think of it as a roller coaster. Coming out is the drop, it's scary but worth it in the long run.
+marcos lopez I don't know, when my friend came out to me it was just like two seconds in a conversation and then everything was normal straight away again ahaha
Donald trump might become president of America is that really gonna happen any time soon ?( someday I hope you don't have to come out but yah even a chance that Donald trump will become president THE WORLD GOING INSANE)
It's so awesome of you to talk about what happens after coming out! I feel like no one talks about that so I'm glad you did that :) I hope more youtubers do this!
It's weird because the first person I came out to was my best friend and I started to cry because that's the first person that I ever told. But then she literally said "I don't really care" and we wrote a fanfic after that. LIKE WOAH OKAY.
+teacrab I think most people have their friends completely cool with it, but I had something slightly weirder and I feel better. My "bestie" was out as Lez, and I actually had no idea what I was, and the first person I told was her, via asking her out. obviously it can't be expected that coming out results in long term relationship with your"friend" but it is an outcome and even though people hate I have better people for support. also wanted to mention that everyone seems to take ages between moment of self acceptance and coming out. I took something like 5 hours.
You two girls are fine I told my parents and my friends there were completely cool about it and I feel great and I'm so nervous but I can ask you more questions after questions which I told him everything that I've done after drinking both sexes and I was around eight years old so I feel better now thank you
I have noticed that talking about this stuff online is so ok and normal, but in real life, it's very awkward and people tend to avoid the conversation. I think this should change. xxx
I just wish something like 'coming out' wouldn't exist. I want people to be able to love who they want and not care about their label. I will never understand why would anyone have a problem with someone's sexuality, like why the fuck do you care. people are people, love is love, that's all that matters to me.
I'm 14 and I came out to my mom as a lesbian a couple months ago. My dad was at work at the time and we talked about it for a bit. I cried and she giggled because she thought it was silly for me to cry. She said it was perfectly fine and I had nothing to worry about. When I came home she told my dad and that night was strange. Everyone was so nice to me that it was awkward. The amount of times I heard, "I love you" that night and, "you'll always be my little baby" is unreal. I had lots of chocolate bars and hugs for a few days until things went back to normal. My parents know about my sexuality, but the rest of my family doesn't. Whenever they talk about me getting a boyfriend my mother always says, "Oh she's not interested in boys" and winks at me. I'm glad and I'm lucky to have had parents like mine
TROYE don't worry about having a "delay" on your life! You're only 19-20 and you've gone much further than most people at your age. So what you didn't have a real relationship until your late teens? I'm 17, straight and haven't even had my first kiss yet! You are right where you need to be.
I'm 20 and never had relationship or really kissed anyone. I always thought I was weird because all my friends were hooking up and dating since middle school and I was always like "ehhh don't feel like it". Maybe I just haven't found someone that I really want to get to know unfortunately.. I think Troye is fine 😊
Yeah I came out about a year ago and it's hard to find someone who fits these standards: 1. Lesbian 2. Single 3. Attractive(looks and personality) 4. Feelings reciprocated
Amélie McCormick I am gay. I'm not trying to be mean. I am so so sorry if I offended her . I was just saying a guy thought I had a nice personality. Then we had to have that awkward talk. I am sure that you both are fantastic girls and you deserve the best. I am sorry to have made you think any differently. It might have come out wrong.
Amélie McCormick I just looked at my old comment and :P might have been misinterpreted. I meant :P as in "not into that". Genuinely sorry if I made anyone unhappy. Keep smiling . :)
I didn't realize Troye has been on social media since he was a teen. I'm 50 year old gay man that still isn't comfortable being gay. I never thought about what Troye said on how you have to come out almost daily. Troye is such an intelligent guy and so well spoken. I saw his coming out video too he has so much confidence for his age then and now. Troye you're an incredible person and you have Amazing talent.
I saw this Tumblr post that made me so happy. It was about this guy who asked his gay friend"Hey,when are you gonna come out to your parents?" And the guy was like,I'm not. My straight brother doesn't have to go up to our parents and be like"Mom,Dad. I'm straight". So why do I? And then, apparently, he showed up to his home with his boyfriend with no warning or anything, and his parents were cool about it,as if he brought home a girl. And I honestly wish that was how all "coming outs" are. You don't have to establish it becuase it doesn't matter. When I can out(to both my parents and friends),nobody gave a shit. Even the people I thought would. Coming out is made to be a big deal,and honestly,I wish it wasn't. I wish that we as a community didn't have to establish our presence,that people know about it already. Maybe I sound crazy,but its what I believe in
Bless your soul!! This is exactly how I feel! I have a few friends that are gay n bi and I honestly don't understand why people care so much... It's nobody's buisness what your sexual preference is. I honestly hope that we are going down a path in society where people become more accepting and less weird about the LGBT community. also on a side note, whoever you are out there that might be reading this and is struggling with your sexuality, just know you are a gift to this world, you are exquisite, you are strong, you are not lesser than any other person because of who you love. Stand strong and proud of who you are! Own it! There is only one you... I guess that's the great thing about being human. Love yourself. ♡♡♡♡😘
Travis McCormick FWIW, I'm bi. I have never had "that conversation" with my parents either. When I was in college and would come home for the weekends I would occasionally bring a guy or girl back home with me. I always introduced them as "my friend" and we didn't do anything obviously romantic or anything in front of my parents, but they would always sleep in my room with me instead of the guest room. It would be really naive of my parents to assume there wasn't anything going on and the couple guys were I guess what I would call "obviously" gay. Like I said, we never discussed it in terms of a romantic relationship, but my parents would sometimes ask me later how the other person was doing and if/when I was going to bring them back to visit. It isn't quite the same thing, I know, but similar in some ways. I guess my parent's COULD think I was completely straight and just had a lot of close gay friends, but I am pretty sure they have figured it out.
Where was this video when i was coming out. This is one of the most useful and calming videos on "COMING OUT" ive ever watched!! And i second everything you said. Coming out is the best decision anyone could make. My life is so much better now and regarding the 'DAY AFTER' it's completely the weirdest and most nerves day of my life!! But having really good family and friends make it so much easier. Also, having the delayed experience with relationships, I had my first proper long lasting relationship when i was 18 ish. Everything stated in this video is so true. Thank you for making such a brilliant video on such a serious topic. xxx
I feel like Troye is not like the other youtubers. Like Tyler, he does Q and slays. Superwoman, she does types of people videos. Joey Graceffa, he does random videos. Marcus Butler and Alfie Deyes and stuff. Pewds does gaming videos. All that stuff you know what. But then here's the thing - there are only little youtubers like Troye, Connor, Dan and Phil. People like them who encourage people to chase their dreams. To encourage the sad. To make someone feel better and not need to be self-conscious about themselves. To help others who are struggling with their sexuality and changing people's mind to something good. Jesus, this world needs more people like them.
Quintus May I think Troye shows us more of the real Troye, like what is in his heart and his real thoughts on so many things and that is why it so easy to love his channel. It feels personal, like talking to a friend, when we watch his videos. The other folks are still great, but they have a 'TV personality' to keep up, so its not like talking to a friend, its like watching a great show. If that makes any sense.
I'm ace (asexual), and we get invalidated so often. It's so rare for me to find other aces for one, and for another, find people who just accept the fact that I'm really not into sex. And it took me almost five years after high school ended to come to terms with and accept that part of myself - I still wake up doubting myself some mornings. And it's really nice to have a forum where we can have that conversation.
ImaginingFreedom hi [fellow ace kiddo here]! Does the doubting ever go away? I’m at the stage where I’m constantly coming out and talking about it to kind of validate myself and I just want to be able to accept and have others accept who I am.
Same, we are never represented. None of the singer, actor I knew of is ace. I watch music videos and keep wondering why all the girls music videos has boys and men music videos has girls in skimpy clothes talking about love n sex. No protogonist in movies are ace. I live in a conservative country so coming out doesn't matter. Here marrying is life goal, liking not liking sex doesn't matter,it's your duty to continue blood line. Even ascetic religious figures can't convinced their parents in their teen, they they announced they gonna refrain from sex ndevote their life to God, their parents planned their marriage, and they have to fled from their home.so coming out means nothing.from my friend circle,when in college days i didn't gush over boys ,my friends dismissed me as a faker ( that inside my mind I want to have a bf, wants to do dirty things but pretending it,to look morally superior).I have celebrity boys crushes but never wanted to be touched by them
So true about coming out a million times! Our channel has also been a big step for us in the coming out process. But before that, everybody we met had to be informed individually. Thank you for addressing this important subject!
On the "delay" thing... I feel that so much. I'm 16, bi (but lean more towards girls lol), and still have no had my first kiss. and most of my friends have definitely had theirs, some of them have done more than i have even considered doing. and for me, I think it's because for years I just totally avoided people because I really didn't know who I was. but now that I do know who I am, I feel so overwhelmingly inexperienced that I'm afraid to start going out with someone and be so uneducated on everything. I've dated 2 girls, one of which was a long distance relationship (and we still remain amazing friends today). so yeah. i agree with you when Troye on the delay thing. maybe it doesn't happen to everybody, but it's definitely affecting me ;-;
Omg im like the exactly the same, but in my 20 lol. But don't really care, she will come when shes comes. The good comes for those who wait,... or something ,3 just keep a positive mind! ^^ (Y)
This is totally me except I'm not really sure if I'm bi I'm thinking I'm gay but I get nervous when talking to some guys so I don't really understand yet
ya SAVAGE hey, questioning is okay too :) I'm not even fully sure of myself yet lol. but whenever I get discouraged thinking about everything I just remember Shane Dawson didnt figure his sexuality out till his 20s. we've got plenty of time. :)
Came out to my mom in a heat of the moment thing when she asked if a friend was a girlfriend, she then cried, told me several times I was not normal and said it was not what she wanted and she wasn't going to have grandchildren a normal way or a daughter in law. Pretty selfish if you ask me, only thinking of her in the situation. I'm still yet to come out to my dad so me and my mom have to act as normal around the house. I told her about my first boyfriend and she said she felt sick and needed to sit down. Sorry mom, I am normal, and you just need to think of people other than yourself 👍
Omg that's awful. It's great though that you are (seem to be) strong enough to not question your worth and normalness as a human being and stuff like that after a reaction like that. Stay strong!
mmmVIEWER1 it absolutely doesn't. purely because 5 seconds into the video he said he made a video for world aids day Then he said it was an important conversation he needed to have with us.. I looked at the title again and was like OH SHIT
I'm bisexual and not a single person knows except you now. None of my friends or family. If they find this comment then I guess that will be easier but I still have a crush on a boy, but I've had mini-crushes on girls (not my friends or at my school though) and I'm confused. It feels good knowing someone else finally knows.
I honestly think coming out shouldn't even be a thing, I am NOT saying that people should hide their sexualities, but I really think that there is no need to make a sort of announcement about your sexuality. I mean if the topic comes up you just normally talk about it, as if it was a normal thing. Because IT IS a normal thing, there's nothing weird or abnormal with being gay or bi or trans. Also people shouldn't just automatically assume that you are straight. You don't need to make an announcement about your sexuality, nor do you need anyone's approval for being who you are. :)
if only lol. this is a nice idea but sadly it's not how life works 😔😔 just because it's normal to some people doesnt mean that they're aren't some homophobic and nasty people out there. and even in this day & age, the majority of people assume that your are straight and or cisgender. people still see it as the norm. if coming out wasn't necessary then a lot of lgbtq+ people would not have to go through so much heartache and stress, but it is 😕😕😕
Recently I told someone that I am gay, but the second I said it, I realized I wasn't ready for her to know yet. She kind of pushed it out of me, and I regret telling her. She was totally cool with it, but I just wasn't ready for her to know yet. I'm scared she's going to tell other people at my school. I'm still in the process of accepting myself, and I wasn't ready to bring other people into the mix. I also relate to the fact that we have a delay in life. I'm 16, and all of my friends have had 2 or 3 relationships already, and I haven't had any, and I don't see myself having one any time soon. When I do finally get in a relationship, I'm not going to have any clue on how to be in a relationship. Sometimes I wish I wasn't gay.
+Sarah sarah, i feel the same way. about your friend, please try to talk to her and tell her that maybe you are not ready yet and ask her to not tell anyone, because it isn't her business really. I kind of did the same thing previously in my life and it ended in a terrible way so I really don't want you to go through the same thing. try to make it really clear to her that she can't tell anyone, even if you have a fight with her and you start hating each other or anything like that, bc that's what happened to me. sometimes I too wish I wasn't gay, and that is actually really sad and terrible, but at the end of the day it seems so much easier and it would save so much energy, i know. but if you think about it, it's actually useless to keep thinking like that bc it can't be changed, so we just need to try to accept it and move on. please stay safe and good luck with everything. i hope everything in your life goes well and that you find happiness bc it's so important. always remember that there are people who accept you and love you for who you are, and you should accept and love yourself too before anything else. :)
+Sarah If you're too feeling too comfortable with the person knowing you can maybe go have a talk with them and tell them how they feel, I'm sure they'll understand. And about the being in a relationship thing, don't feel like you're missing out or anything. Enjoy what life has to offer you, get comfortable in your own skin, discover yourself and I'm sure you'll find someone who'll be perfect for you. You might think that you won't have a clue about how to function in a relationship when you finally get in one, but if anything, your age and experiences will make you wiser and help you deal with/understand the situations that you will be put in. I hope this helped in some way.
Hi , I'm 71 and gay and wanted to assure you that because of people like you its so much easier for everyone that follows. many thanks maybe soon nobody will have to come out because nobody will care anymore. Again many thanks for your efforts, thanks from America.
I'm really glad I clicked this video because it made me feel so much better. So, I am 17 years old and bisexual. I had never hinted that I was curious about girls until my teenage years. When I was young, I refused to let myself even THINK about girls like that because my family and my teachers told me it was wrong and I didn't want them to think I was weird. When I was about 15, I admitted to my friends that I was bi-curious. Funny thing is, two of my best friends are bisexual and they were out before me. When I was 16 years old, I came out as bisexual to my close friends and a select few family members. My cousins and friends were super accepting and my mom seemingly was too. What I didn't know was that when I told her that, she thought it was a phase. So some time later she asked me "Do you still think you're bisexual?" and I'm like "No, I don't think. I AM." And she basically just told me that I have no idea what I'm talking about. No matter what I say, she will not believe that's who I truly am. I always get told that "It's just a phase" or "You're just trying to be edgy" or "It's normal to be curious" It just annoys me to no end. If I'm "just curious" then WHY on earth have I been in love with the same girl for three years? Of course, I can never tell my mom that. I can't even imagine what the rest of my family would have to say. Sorry for my long-ass comment and thank you to anyone who took the time to read it. :) Has anyone else had this problem or something similar?
GreenEyedAng3l I'm straight so I never experienced situations like that but I think its super stupid to tell ppl that they are going through a phase, bc its just plain bullshit. I think some people just don't get that bisexuality is not being straight and just curious about homosexuality(like wanting to try it but just for fun). it's not. i wish you the best, and I hope that the people who mean much to you get that it is just who you are and how you feel. in the end our sexual orientation doesn't define us at all.
GreenEyedAng3l That sucks to hear. It's sad that people are often not accepted by their family for who they are. I honestly don't really know what to advise you or anything. Cherish your friends, because they love you for who you are. Honestly: There is a part in your life where you have to decide who your real family is. If your biological family happens to be included in there, that's fine. But if not so... then create your new family. On the other hand, I really hope that your family will some day come to terms with it. If people say stuff like your mom does, it's probably just because they themselves have a reeeaaally hard time understanding everything, and they are maybe insecure or whatever. It's hard to accept and understand for us, but still... everyone has their story and their reasons why they do what they do. I wish you all the best and that you will find a way to handle things so that you are happy and okay with your decisions.
Haylee Michelle I agree. I guess some people just can't wrap their mind around that sort of thing... which sucks because it really isn't that difficult of a concept. Sorry about your friends. Hopefully they'll learn to be more understanding.
I've definitely had a similar thing. I didn't realise I was bi until several years after I started being attracted to guys and it took me a while to come to terms with it, which is weird because I haven't been brought up around homophobes or anything but it was still a shock. I told my family and it was a non event but years later my mum's still asking me if I'm really bi which is infuriating. I'm in love with a girl I know, I'd have thought that would make it pretty clear. I had my first kiss when I was sixteen and now that I'm nearly eighteen I've only been in one relationship and that was with a guy. I have no idea how to go about getting a girlfriend, which is what I want at the moment. It's all very stressful.
GreenEyedAng3l I have the same problem because I'm transgender, my mum tries to tell me that I'm not and how I feel about my body and think too. I hate it.
I am gay and I knew it from the age of 12-13, came out when I were 20, because I was too scared actually admitting and since I came out, I actually got more happy and relieved. I was so scared for so long, for no reason at all. So I am 24 now and I can say: "I regret I didn´t tell it way earlier". Luckily for me I am happy with my boyfriend now and everything is alright. Most of them accepted aswell, even my father. So, I get you are scared but it's such a relieve!
i'm super happy you decided to start such a series! i first identified myself as bi, then pan, over the last few years. i've been homeschooled for a while as well, due to my anxiety problems, so i haven't got much friends to come out to, but i tried coming out to my family a couple months ago via a drawing/weird poem. it didn't really work out, as they literally never addressed it, and like you i felt kinda dirty and embarrassed about it + retrieved the drawing afterwards. i know they're okay with it though, so i don't mind that much. just wish they'd been a bit more supportive at the time. my dad has been the only one to make some reference to it since, and recently surprised me and brought me "vote yes" pin and stickers. he seemed v happy and i literally couldn't stop smiling all day. overall things are okay. it irks me when people automatically talk about boys, but i'm usually too awkward to correct them. i've realized the very few sex ed classes i've had at school never mentioned any lgbt info- hopefully things will change in the near future. i struggle with social interaction, so i wouldn't know anything about sex or relationships if it wasn't for my own internet research/ace, pan, bi info sites/lgbt online groups and support/etc. i'd like to add that i find "irl" people to be very misinformed about sexualities and genders. spending my days on tumblr it seems quite easy to be a grey-a pan teen but when i log off and try talking with people around, most have no idea what pan, or trans, or ace mean. like wow. this is the real world. i am supposed to only like boys and shouldnt go outside with my boobs out.
eh Omg I have definitely thought so much about the internet vs irl thing!! I don't understand why so many people online are so informed but people irl aren't as much. I'm very thankful for the internet though. Most everyone is so supportive and I'm more comfortable talking about my sexuality on here to complete strangers than my friends and family irl. I'm really hoping that soon this knowledge will spread more irl and everyone will be educated and hopefully supportive so that we can be comfortable EVERYWHERE.
I'm bisexual and coming out was so hard for me because I also came out when I was fifteen and I was in no way taken seriously, and I'm still not. This is going to sound horrible, but, I wish I was just gay. It wouldn't be completely easy, but easier to explain to a newly met person so that I don't get the typical: "are you sure," "so you'd be down for an orgy," (I'm not even joking with the last one I've been asked that) and then, "but bisexuality isn't REAAALLY a thing though," because I'm getting really fucking tired of that.
I can see why people dont think bi sexuelyty is a thing, but i know it is. I dont know jet of im be streaght or lesbian but i have seen my bi bestfriend with her past boyfriend and current girlfriend. And they are always lovydovy. But i have respect for you because if i where you i would allready give lots of people a bitchslap.
I understand. Im 16 and I realized when i was 13 that i was bi but no one really believed me and my mom is still like you're young to think that but i have had 6 ex boyfriends and i have a girlfriend right now and i dont think im young and wish people would stop the belief that bisexuality isnt real. I also know what its like to wish that i was just gay cuz thatd be so much easier and i wish it wasnt that way but it is.
I'm bi too and I'm not out to my family yet mostly because a lot of people don't understand bisexuality or think it doesn't exist. I understand your feeling of wanting to just be gay because it feels like it would be easier to explain to someone that I like girls than it is to explain that I like boys and girls. And when some of the LGBTQ+ community seems to forget that B stands for bisexual, that makes me scared to come out because I don't really feel like I belong with the straight people and I don't feel like I belong with the LGBTQ+ community sometimes either.
Kenzi Bruner idk if you saw Shane Dawson's I'm Bisexual video but he talks about wishing he was gay too, because it would be easier. It might help you to watch it because you might relate to it :)
Kenzi Bruner I think I'm bi because I've had a few crushes on girls but the thing is I don't even want to tell anyone because the way I see it, people can think whatever they want. If I'm with a girl than they can think I'm gay or if I'm with a guy they can think I'm straight. I don't care but I also feel like I should be honest with people...
My first boyfriend and I broke up because he came out. It was really awkward conversation because he didn't know how I would take it. I was so cheesy and said it meant more to me to see him happy but I regret nothing!
J V My current girlfriend broke up with her previous boyfriend when she came out as a lesbian, and all three of us were once friends. He tries to make our life a living hell, but we manage.
I feel you. Well I already kissed a boy but I've never really been in a proper relationship. All my friends are dating people and then there is me watching from the sideline. Sometimes I feel really odd about it.
You are the strongest person. I wish you could speak to everyone. I’m a straight mother of six (3 girls/3 boys) and an ally to the lgbtq+ community. You’re the best spokesperson and so close and one who people look up to. I wish more people would come out of hiding and be their authentic self like you are. It makes you such a full person. With so much ❤️ love!!!
really appreciate that 'what is after'-topic because I have never seen it adressed before but it is HUGE. coming out was hard but the days after were terrible. as you mention, everyone was trying to act normal and I felt like everyone was thinking about it at all times of the day and whatever we spoke it would always have an undertone of my former coming out. and still....6 years later I still know exactly how awkward this was.
I read that so wrong the first time. I was like, "Your dad is a jerk!" Then you said to plan a coming out party and I was like, "Your dad is so sweet!" 😂
Troye's videos are the only ones which I don't skip the ad because if there is any RUclipsrs out there which I wanna give money then it has to be Troye 😊 Did that make sense? If not then all I wanted to say is that I basically don't skip the ad's at the beginning of Troye's video's 😉😂
Victoria Sierra RUclipsrs make money from the ads that show up in their videos, they get a certain amount of money from the ad appearing and slightly more if the person clicks on the ad
Unlike most of the people I know, I've completely added being gay or knowing someone who is gay to my list of normal things. Like I was talking to my sister about Troye and I was like "oh yeah he's gay". It was almost like I forgot about it. Not that he liked boys or whatever, but the term. To me, everything about him is completely normal. I never felt there was anything different. idk just me rambling
I feel the same way. Like I have many of gay friends and everytime someone come out to me I need to take a minute to think why they are making such a deal about it until I realise. I look foward to the day our society won't be so heteronormative so no one will need to tell they aren't straight because no one will assume that in the first place.
I wonder if this was planned to go with Joeys new video? It was perfect timing! I'm really excited for this series though, it will help a lot of people xx
The fact that people automatically assume others are "straight until proven otherwise" is so disappointing. Time for a change!!! Down with heteronormativity :)
Mage of Heart saying down with heteronormativity does not mean you hate straight people, it just means that people shouldn't be expected to be straight just because they haven't come out.
abundanceoferica Well, it does kind of make sense because statistically you're more likely to be straight than anything else. But still, I think it would save people a lot of stress and angst if no sexuality was treated as default.
I came out when I was in college: a bit later than you. I was SO LUCKY - when I told my parents they both told me that they just wanted me to be happy!!! HOW GREAT IS THAT? Then, MY FATHER told me --------- be careful, there are a lot of people in the world who have it against gay people! Can you imagine, my father, an Irish Catholic cop, was warning me about gay bashers. So so so lucky. I really agree with you about the "delay" thing - and I have to say that you are a very well spoken, intelligent young man!!!
I'm with you on the delay thing. I didn't know I was bi until I was 17, and i definitely feel like figuring it out "late" hindered me because I wasn't the type to get with random people before, and you'd think being bi you get more options but you actually get more confusion on what person is what sexuality. I definitely feel like I missed out on a lot of key things; I haven't even been on a date or in a real relationship yet but I'm still 20 so I have time I guess.
sonicroll3000 Hey I just posted a comment about my experience with feeling that delay, I didn't have any kind of relationship till 22. I don't know what it's like to realize bi sexuality but I imagine it's an extra tricking situation because of the lack of knowledge and communication in general people have about it. Communication and honesty is always the most important thing in figuring it out and finding a partner. Don't hold back in them or there will be feelings of uncomfort. Good luck and stay safe.
mydogbuffy2 In my case, the idea of being bi was 100% alien to me. I knew about homosexuality and heterosexuality, but nobody had ever told me there was something else. A friend of mine came once to my room and, after seeing the posters on my wall, he was like "huh, so you like girls" and I got really awkward so he explained everything to me. I don't know how it is to other people, but I'm pretty sure that if it hadn't been for him, I'd still be freaking out.
this made me feel much better...i just recently realized I was gay and I'm almost 19 and haven't really been with any girls cause I spent highschool fussing over guys and now I feel like if I were to be with a girl they would be way more experienced than me and that kinda scares me
When I came out to my parents (I'm bisexual), I did it subtly by complaining about a homophobic comment I'd heard on my train ride home and said how annoyed I was by people dismissing my lgbtq community. My dad said "Your community?" And I quickly clarified and said explained. Both my parents were cool with it. So maybe try bringing up your sexuality in a very casual way to make it difficult for your family to dismiss.
+Skeleton Clique omg i'm so sorry for you both. I hate it when people doesn't accept this stuff because i actually love it! I have many friends who are bi or gay or lesbian and it's all ok. I apologize even if it's too late c:
I haven't come out to my mom as bi yet. but I know that she's okay with it. it's just my dad that I'm scared cause I don't know if he's going to be supportive or anything.
+crystal miller I havnt come out as bi to my parents yet either and I hope you are feeling ok ,I get stressed just sitting in the car with them sometimes even though I don't really know what they'll say xxx
2:12, I came out yesterday and I just want to say thank you for explaining that feeling. I talked to some of my LGBTQ+ friends, and none of them could relate. So, thank you Troye.
by the time i personally had even realized that I wasn't straight, I already had had a bunch of friends (including my best friend) come out to me so it wasn't so much of a thing that I had been keeping inside at all... it was more like I went to my best friend and said "yeah so I think I'm probably not straight" and he said "tOOK YOU LONG ENOUGH TO REALIZE" (he knew before I did)
Im bisexual. I've known this for about 4 years. Never tried to be with a girl. Just knew it was there.. I like both genders. My best friend knows and that's it. I'll never tell my family. They're not necessarily homophobic..just weird and assholes about it? I wanted my hair short, and my brother said I'd look "gay". And I said so what? And he said "well you're not gay" like who cares if I am or not? Hair doesn't make you gay...anyways. It's just such a heavy weight. I never thought it would bother me. But I'm tired of hiding who I am. But I just can't come out. I'm just always so sad. I'm never happy. And this weight just adds onto me. I don't know what to do. I can't stand this fuckin pressure to be straight. I just want everything to stop. I want to be normal. Not that being gay or bi or anything is bad. I'm just so confused. I wish it was as simple as some people make it
I'd like to know how old are u, because I'm kind in the same situation as you, but I know that I won't reveal it to my parents, but still in a few months I'm going to study away from home, so I'll be much more free, and I'll have the opportunity to have the experiences I never had. I don't know if U'll get this opportunity, but in my opinion once u do, u'll be eventually more convicted about your choices in life and would be more comfortable telling and giving no choice to the others. I think I like both genders, but I don't see myself spending the rest of my life with the same gender as me, it is my own opinion I have nothing against other couples, but I don't know, for me it will be just to experience, but who knows I might change my mind. Anyway I hope someday you'll get the courage to say it out loud and hope you'll be happy! Love.
Jenny Tulls here´s some advice: you should definately be true to yourself and come out at some point. but maybe if it feels too weird with them around wait until you live on your own, then it won´t affect you that much.
Jenny Tulls I'm in a very similar situation myself. I came out as bi to most of my friends throughout the last month, but I've made the decision to not tell my parents or the rest of my family. Its something that I think about nearly constantly, but I just cant. I'm finally at a place where I'm ok with being bi and trying to be proud of it, but for so long I tried to be straight. I hated myself for who I was and it was horrible. I thought about it constantly and had so much internalized homo/biphobia to get over. Like you, I just wanted to be normal. But I got over it and soon I hope you will too. I'm starting to realize that being bi isn't such a huge deal as I thought; in the end, what difference does the gender of the person I date make? Anyway, I wish you the best of luck and if you ever have any questions or need to talk, feel free to message me. Good luck and I hope that you find peace soon.
Jenny Tulls I was in the same situation as you are. But then I came out to a few of my best friends and it was totally fine, they said it didn't matter. Now there is 9 people who know about me. My point is, you need to tell it to the people who will understand and not tell your secret to anyone. That way you won't look at your secret as a burden. Trust me:)
I def had 'that day'. It actually lasted about 2-3 days.... It felt weird because as you say you feel exposed for something you always managed to keep secret, but at the same time I was relieved I had come out to my family, that was the coming out that scared me the most. This is an amazing project Troye - LOVE WILD by the way :)
well basically I am straight and once I went to my parents and told them that I am straight and this is not gonna change and that's who I am and thanked them for being accepting and I didn't like mean to be like "coming out is stupid and let's make fun of it". i did it bc I believe that not only gay people need to come out like it's natural! if you are attracted to one gender or more than one gender or not attracted by any gender it's normal and people need to understand that. and I really got very anxious tbh when I went to tell them bc I had to explain them thst I've been questioning my gender for a while but I decided that I am straight and I feel this way and I am proud.
I didnt really have the greatest time coming out the first time. I was targeted and attacked by crowds of students and teachers. But now im very accepting and just straight up tell people. Yeah and? My only real problem with being bisexual is validity. No one believes you. I have been in a long term relationship with a boy for a while now and no believes that i like girls more than boys. I like girls and boys. Because im in a hetero relationship people, straight and LGBT feel the need to banish me from the LGBT crowd. Its unfair.
Bobo Bandersnatch I had a similar reaction (kind of...). All the terms are just names we give to certain attractions. Bisexual is pretty broad term, liking guys and girls, but to what extent? That's what it doesn't specify. You can be straight and still find guys/girls attractive, and get called bisexual as a result. Really it all comes down to knowing what you are, and never doubting that. If people ask, they don't need an answer and if people judge its because they don't really know the full story. As for validity, you don't need to prove who you are or what you feel. That's a decision you make.
Bobo Bandersnatch I'm something like ... a gay ally? ;) Please, PLEASE know that I feel like shit that the gay community (my own) excludes people that make so similar experiences. We NEED to be open. I think of bisexuality just as valid as anything else.
Bobo Bandersnatch It's hard, I know. As bi myself, a lot of people just pretend I don't exist. The LGBT community as a whole is more like LGGGGGb and the T isn't even considered. My advice is just to hand on. YOU know who you are. That's the most important and difficult thing, and you already got it. Don't let ignorant people affect you, because at the end of the day what matters is how you see yourself. I'm here if you wanna talk.
Same! Because I've been focused on this one guy for so long it's like my friends have forgotten that I like girls too. I feel like I'm having to come out all over again to them because they thought it had gone away. How can a sexuality fade away? It's annoying, you feel like maybe it would be easier to just ignore girls and pretend to be straight. Also they focus on how many boys I've dated compared to girls, they forget it's much harder to meet lesbians, the dating pool is miniature
I love the young people and expressing their heartful feelings! No matter how old or young you are, we all have the same feelings and thoughts. It's human nature and never changes throughout the ages. Whether you were born in the 1800's, 1900's, 2000's and so on -- it's a constant, although a newer updated spin on things, the core is the same. Be who you are and do not be untimidated. You may lose friends, etc..but remember, that's THEIR loss. You matter.
sofi goto Same! I'm straight, 19, and never been in a relationship or anything. I had my friend kiss me just to get the whole first kiss over with. It was fine, but I encourage you guys to wait a little longer for someone who truly like
Can I say that your comment really made me feel normal! I've ways felt bad because I had my first boyfriend (like more serious one) last year and I'm 18 now and I didn't even wanted to have a boyfriend! I was just feeling so stressed because everyone was in a relationship or something and I was alone but now I feel the happiest being single and having time to learn and love myself... (Weird comment but I felt like I needed to get this out)
I'm 54 and my daughter is 29. I first heard of you from your single "Wild" (loved it). With Youth, we are both in love with you. Your video about coming out on the internet is so inspiring Troye. I hope you continue to make more videos. You are a very brave and if you don't mind me saying so, handsome young man. Keep up the good, no great videos. I hope you inspire more men to be courageous enough to tell all their family and friends they are heterosexual and live happy fulfilling lives. We love you Troye. Love from Anne (mum) and Roxanne (daughter).
I've never needed to come out because I'm straight but I really love that you do these videos because I personally feel that everyone on this planet should be accepted for who they are. I hope you inspire people to come out like you did
I came out twice this summer first as a trans man and then again as gay. My family isn't supportive about it but my friends are and as far as I'm concerned my friends are my family.
Violet Jewel how are you living as a trans man with an unsupportive family?? i dont know what i am but its pretty trans-ish but im just suffering because i know they would tell me its not real (they did that when i attempted to come out as gay) so i just wanted to know how you're dealing with it??
I've come to the conclusion that people will either accept you or they won't. And if they don't it's frustrating and sometimes really painful. But what is more painful is tearing yourself down to get their approval, approval that will probably never come. So be yourself and surround yourself with people who will stand by you no matter what. Do things that make you happy.
It was the same thing for me, towards pretty much everything you had just said. When I came out, it was very awkward, and one of the weirdest times of my life. When I came out to my dad, everything seemed somewhat normal. About three weeks later, he had came in my room and started asking me questions about what I want in terms of a family in the future. He had also asked if I was sure that I wasn’t bisexual. At the time, I was his only son. I kinda knew where this was going. It was just incredibly strange, just like a few weeks of silence on my dad’s end, and then he wants to know if I’m carrying on the family name. In terms of the delay, I experienced the same thing. I never had an actual relationship with a guy until I was 18. This guy also lived an hour away from me, since there was literally no gay guys that lived around me. I’m 19 now, and me being gay was never an issue with anyone. When I was in school, everyone pretty much knew. I’m not sure if there was any difficult experiences for you when coming out, but there wasn’t too much for me, and to this day, I haven’t had too much happen to me because of that. For the first little while after coming out was the only time it was any different than living normal day to day life. Sorry for the long message, but this video was very interesting :)
I mean.. I'm 22 and I still haven't been in a serious relationship.. or a relationship at all for that matter. Sometimes I feel stressed about it because my friends are starting to get engaged and stuff now so I feel a bit behind but at the same time I'm like 'Who the fuck cares?' If it happens it happens, and if not then I'll just get a lot of cats or something ;)
I came out to my mom about a month ago, and I had the same next day experience. I also came out to my 700 Facebook friends/family a couple weeks ago, aaand I deleted it four days after because I felt too exposed.. I had been keeping this secret for ten years, and now EVERYONE knows.. BUT everything is good now, and I've had the awkward Q&As with friends and family. Now I feel free.
***** That's actually false because I care about my sexuality! Except, who said I was talking about my sexuality? My comment could have been about my gender.. or both! (:
I love that outro, it's been 4 months since he made a vlog, the last one was a surprise to his dog, I miss that he starts talking about things in his life, he only uploads songs. I love the VUUUAAA
Honestly, being asexual is hard because, as any other person form the LGBT+ community has it, you have to decide whether or not to come out to a person. It's hell when you're asexual (not saying it's not hell for others, but...) because people almost never believe you or have never heard the term so you have to explain EVERYTHING, even exceptions and details and all of it and even when you have explained it patiently, many people end up saying you're just confused or you haven't found the right person or that you're just doing it for attention or that you really are gay and you just don't want to admit it. It's tiring. Me, I'm an aromantic asexual, so sometimes I say things like "I don't get you sexual humans." and they just stand there staring at me and ask "What are you? An alien or something?" So yeah, it's hard. oh, I wanted to thank you, Troye, because I think it's very brave of someone to share their thoughts and experiences with the world. So, yeah, thank you. xxx
Just'Cause Another asexual here, although I'm panromantic, not aromantic. I think you're absolutely right, although for me, I've also come across a few cases of people swiping it under the rug, as something that's not a big deal, especially if I don't mention being panromantic, which is also greatly annoying as they just don't seem to understand the struggles that come with it. I find it hard especially in the LGBT+ community. For example when I came out to the person who was at the time my best friend, although she as a lesbian knows about some of the struggles those in the community have to face, she still gave me those standard, annoying, and to me insulting reactions people who come out as gay or lesbian get. Questioning how I knew for sure, and that I shouldn't be quick with putting a label on myself, as maybe later I'd feel different about it. Since I do still want romantic relationships, I also have to put up with comments about it being selfish of me, to want a relationship without sex, although yeah, I've had the alien comment once before too, that or a plant.
ElishaXIII Yeah, I mean a friend of mine who's also asexual and I just refer to ourselves as plants because we just resigned to people calling us that. It must be even harder for you, being panromantic (correct me if I'm wrong), because it's hard for people to understand that you DO want an intimate emotional relationship with people, just not a sexual one. Again, it's just pretty damn awful; I mean, I almost never want to come out to people, I haven't come out to my parents although they know I have never been interested in relationships. I just say "it's jus...I'm not interested" I just don't use the term because, for some reason, it bothers people or it confusses them, so yeah.. I get you.
I'm ace too, I definitely get how you feel. I'm not aromantic though, but I'm close to and that makes things even more confusing (I say arospec, I'm like pan-grey-cupio or something, idek, arospec is just easier). It's the easiest sexuality of them all to understand and yet nobody really does without being ace themselves. n_n
Just'Cause It's the same for me, I generally try to avoid telling people I'm asexual as I always find the reactions you get and the explaining you have to do to be such a hassle. My parents, I've come out to them as pan, but not yet as asexual, but that's mostly because I feel like my sex life is none of their bussiness XD When I meet new people, if I come out to them, it depends on how much they already know about the community, because some people don't even know what it means to be pan as opposed to being bi, so if I don't think I'll really interact much with them in the future, I just simplify it as me being bi or pan. Coming out already tends to leave an awkward moment, let alone having to explain what all of it means. Relationships have been difficult so far, especially guys tend to get fed up with me not wanting to have a sexual relationship with them, but, I'm still young so who knows, I might find someone who doesn't mind eventually.
So if anyone feels the same way as me PLEASE let me know. So I am 18 and for most of my life I have known I was 100% straight. Once I became comfortable with the LGBT community and knew what lesbian and gay and trans meant I started to realize that hey I wouldn't mind kissing a girl. Then I realized I was attracted to some women and then I had a sort of lesbian experience. Now I think I'm bi because I want to pursue relationships with women as well. I feel like I am not allowed to call myself that because I haven't been this way my whole life. At least I haven't realized. Help I am so confused
Honestly I think you are feeling sort of like I did. I consider myself fully gay but that's because I've opened up to the idea of the LGBT community being a thing. Before then, I thought I was something like asexual, or someone who didn't date because all I heard throughout life was "guys don't like other guys. Gays will go to hell" But feeling alright with myself really helped!
SavzLaLa Call yourself what you wish, and even if it changes over time, go for it. There is nothing out there that says that someone can't change over time. :) It may also just be possible that you're hitting a point that (very few, still) realize is that the shell (ie: body of a person) doesn't matter as much as what's inside. As long as both people end their day happy... what's the gender matter?
You don't have to know or feel that way straight after your born. You can develop these feelings over time it just means you love more people. If you feel like you belong then you belong it doesn't matter how long or how much you love or need the person.
Hey Tro, so I've been watching your videos for around 4 or 5 years now, and I just wanted to say how much of an impact it has had on my life to essentially grow up and become myself with you. I realised I liked girls around 2 years ago, and I feel so lucky to have immediately know where to turn when I felt most alone, your openness and willing to speak out about these things gave me the courage to come out a few months ago. My whole family have been super supportive and I just wanted to say thank you from the bottom of my heart for being there for me during the coming out process, I love you so much
I'm 20 and Bi. I came out to a close friend when I around 14, and then a few more friends when I was 15. Then at 18 I came out to friends again. At 19 I came out to my mum. At 20, I'm finding it easier to casually mention it in conversation if sexuality is brought up. It's definitely a process but it's annoying how it still feels like I'm coming out when I first actually came out at 14!!
Definitely a yes on the "weird" stage after coming out. It was kinda sad to realize that I did not know how to interact with any of my friends or family without this giant secret I'd been keeping. It took me several months after that to realize I could start talking about LGBT movies I'd seen, LGBT books I'd read, crushes I had on girls, etc. The "weird" stage for me lasted probably about 6 months (much longer than a day!) mostly my own fault as it took me a long time to overcome that need to hide things. That was 3 years ago now, and I'm much better about prattling on about myself to my nearest and dearest. :) It's really improved all the relationships in my life, I didn't realize how much of myself I'd been keeping distant and hidden out of self-defense. Also a yes on delayed stuff, I didn't date anyone in high school or in my first few years of university. I wasn't comfortable with myself, wasn't sure other people would be comfortable with me, and honestly it's still quite hard to find other people who are out and ok with it enough to actually date. My advice to any youngins would be to get involved in the online community, it's something you can always have in your pocket on your phone or computer and is a great space to give you some peace of mind and acceptance when you need it.
My romantic orientation is straight, but my sexual orientation is asexual. It's such a pain to explain to people that I'm interested in relationships and not interested in sex. They either think I'm too young to know (I'm 15 next March) or just don't believe me.
Chloe Peterson same here, am straight but don't want sex neither with boys nor girls. I kinda feel like being in relationship with someone but when it's comes on sex he can do sex with anyone else. for me having sex with someone else is not cheating(i don't mind) unless you have other feelings more than sex. ( maybe it's because I have been single in my whole life)
It's still hard for me to talk openly about my sexuality even a year after coming out. I feel like I'm not hiding but not really open either. I'm just in this weird space of not really being totally okay with who I am but also not hating myself or anything.
I've kind of noticed this happening to me as well. Like even when I'm with people who all know that I'm queer I still feel as if I'm doing something wrong when I talk about girls and stuff.
Well at least I'm not the only one! It's been a year and two months since I came out and EvErYoNe seems to say what a relief it was, but at times it just makes me feel awkward. Like the one friend that people have to avoid talking about relations with.
Trust me I understand it can be weird even when people are use to queer folks but especially when there not. When it comes to you being comfortable you really just have to be confident in who you are. Sadly your own confidence does not help awkward conversation Ik but it makes life easier for you. Also just be patient with the dating.
I really have no clue what my sexuality is, and I'm in no rush to find out. Is that weird? I'm a 15 year old teenage girl and all my other friends are having like long term boyfriends/girlfriends or they're coming out as gay/bi/pan/trans/etc. and normally, this wouldn't effect me, but now I feel like I'm kind of pressured to decide, because everyone else KNOWS. But at the same time, I don't want to put a label on myself. It's very confusing honestly. I've liked guys before, and I've found girls attractive before (I haven't had a crush on one yet, but I wouldn't be surprised if I did), so I just don't know. I could just be like 'oh I'm bi' but I'm still so young, you know? I feel so awkward having to put a label on myself, and when the conversation comes up with friends, I get really awkward and stutter-y because I don't know how to answer it. Labeling myself as something, especially if it was something other than straight, would change my life forever. What do you guys think? Is there anyone else like me that's just kind of nowhere? Are labels necessary? Help would be appreciated. Thanks!
I didn't label myself until a few months ago and I'm almost 19. Tbh I feel like there's no rush and like someone commented here, there's no need to label yourself if you don't want you. Also if you label yourself as something and then realize that maybe you're something else, that's totally okay
This is exactly what type of situation I'm in. My mom gets confused that I myself don't know what gender I'm attracted to. I just think all people are beautiful in their own way. And limiting yourself to a type, as troye says puts a delay on your life.
You don't have to identify with anything until you're ready(: don't be pressured to do or be anything, and you don't have to put a label on it if you don't want to! You can just go about and live, and someday you'll figure it out.
Avery Byrd Hey, If it can make you feel a little bit better, I'm 18 years old and I don't know what is my sexuality :) You don't have to rush yourself to label yourself, like you said. Personally, my parents both think I'm straight, and my friends think i'm bi/homo. What is important is when you'll know "what you are", you have to make sure you are confortable with that label. If you are confortable without a label, it is good too :) Hope that I "helped" you a little bit :3 (And sorry if I made a mistake ~)
I was very confused about my sexuality. I was lying on my bed for hours just thinking how I would "call" myself. Am I straight? Not really. Am I a lesbian? Nope. I was so confused and after a long time I got so tired of thinking 'who I am'.
So I decided for myself that I don't need a term for what I'm interested in. I just do it. And that's okay, you don't need a term to fall in love. You just need a heart and the right person.
Thank you for saying this :)
Lena x exactly what i needed to hear
THIS!!!
This is perfect
"I don't need a term for what I'm interested in. I just do it. And that's okay, you don't need a term to fall in love. You just need a heart and the right person." This is a very beautiful saying, and I wholeheartedly agree with it. Thank you for sharing it with the world. As the wonderful Shailene Woodley said, "I don't fall in love with genders. I fall in love with people."
Personally, I feel like Troye is probably one of the most genuine RUclipsrs nowadays. Not to say that RUclipsrs making videos for companies and advertisements is a bad thing at all, it's just making a living and I completely respect that. I just feel like Troye, amongst a lot of other RUclipsrs of course, is making videos that he feels passionately about and I love that. :D
Keep inspiring smaller channels Troye, because I know you're definitely inspiring me.
***** hey dylan im actually subscribed to you as well as troye lol but i gotta agree i think youtube as a whole is becoming much more creative and genuine if you look past the advertisements and sponsors... even small youtubers such as yourself are moving away from challenge/tag and prank videos and i mean your the only small youtuber i have seen who edits visual effects and stuff in vloggy type vids which is cool so congrats man lol
Jack Garrity Oh hey mate I didn't expect a reply that quickly haha! :D Thanks so much for the compliment man, and I definitely agree about the increase in creativity throughout the years. I dunno, I just love RUclips. :D
Yes!! Even if he is sponsored he'd still make those that he can relate to and personal - still being himself! (:
I like this video because it's not and as, they're just helping him with the video, because it's something he genuinely wants to do.
I totally agree :)
The day i was about to come out to my mum, she was in the kitchen sharpening knives and i was just like - NOPE BYE
OMG 😂
RFLMAO😂😂😂
WIERD COMMENTER I LOVE YOU COMMENTS! I SEE THEM ALL THE TIME
Finley C Thanks!
OMG 😂😂
"What did she do?"
"Well yeah I'm gay so..."
Fav part.
And u?
You're so bloody great. Thanks for posting this video - I'm sure it'll help a lot of people :D
Hey there Bethan! Hope pole-dancing is going good! Haha and yes, agreed. Awesome video from Troye! Byee
Nina Morgan Lol that escalated
Edit: Oh shit you were serious
1musicalbethan Omg yes! also think this is actually very helpful :)
I have to come out as bi pretty much every day too, I also go back in sometimes just to annoy people. In, out, In, out, and on occasion I will expose myself and shake it all about. It's a British thing.
***** the fuck are you doing here boy?;)
😱😱😱😱
Hokey pokey 😉
***** Greetings Chris))) Saw your latest vid) Very refreshing to see the real chris... The fans will watch and enjoy whatever you put up... the pressure to 'entertain' is all in your head... I say do the crabstickz character only when its fun and easy for you... we love the character but we love Chris even more))) So in the words of J. Edgar Hoover "Relaaax!!!"
CHRIS UWJELDHWB
#troyesivan im a mother who had a 14yr old daughter who actually admitted that she's a bisexual. I as a mother was pretty shocked and surprised and didn't understand at first but when she introduced me to you and your music I now thoughtfully understand why she looks up to you. Thank you for everything and we both love you. PLease come to Manila, Philippines!!!
Omg queen 🥺
Sis, I know the Philippines has a lot of entrenched homophobia, but … do you have access to statistics about life expectancy in your country? Because the last time I saw any such here, women who had never married a man had a better life expectancy than women who did marry a man. Women who prefer women actually live longer.
Please be proud of your daughter, and support her in making relationship choices that keep her safe.
SO SWEEEEEET
Hey m indian can i come?😢
he looks so perfect hoLY SHIT
his hair, lips, eyes, eyelashes, hands, neck, like everything is freaking goal
+not exactly sane you are sooo right. Troye is the best person in the world, one of my biggest dreams is to meet him, be able to hug this cutie and thank him for everything
+timid elle Ikr I just keep watching his concert videos and praying that I meet him one day. He has inspired me so much and his perfection is just wow
True. He's literally perfect
I know right :'(
He looks so adorable.❤❤❤❤
I feel like a mum watching this... *SO PROUD*
George Braithwaite actually troye i am your mother
georgina u are my mom
George Braithwaite you raised a good one lmfao♥
an understatement.
I was forced to come out months ago and it was the most horrible thing I have ever experienced. My mom was like interrogating me and she finally got it out of me as I was sobbing and then to make it worse she told my dad, aunt, uncle, sister, and probably more people after I begged her not to. I've basically lost all my trust in her. Everyone was really awkward around me for a long time. I think they are supportive of me but in not really sure. They also don't really understand my sexuality (pansexual). The thing I want most is to just go back in time and change what happened. I'm still not comfortable with my sexuality myself and now that other people know it's made me even more depressed than before.
Mac Nils Hope you are okay. Find a responsible adult (therapist or councilor) to give you some guidance on what healthy support looks like, your mom cannot do this for you. Call Trevor Project, a local LGBT+ group, anybody, just so you know you are not alone. Stay safe, stay strong.
This is horrible. I'm so sorry that you had to go through that. :( PLEASE. Take your time, and when you are 10000000% comfortable with yourself casually bring it up, and say "Im pan" and go get a frying pan and hold it up to them, :3 okay I'm sorry, I'm tired, I'm probably the same I'm confused.
Naomi Midget Or you know, you might fly to Neverland and live happily ever after with the Lost Boys.
oh that's so shit, I'm so sorry... I think you should ask them if they support you and if they don't then fuck them, who cares what they think? If it's really you and you're proud and happy with it then that's the only thing that matters. xx
Omg I feel so sorry for you :,( it will be okay.. Really just believe in yourself and just don't ever depend on other people :) hope you live a happy life
I'm a lesbian and I came out to my parents 3 months ago today actually (I came out to my dad 3 months ago yesterday technically and my mom today because the whole different houses thing) but I had extremely different experiences with both of them. When I told my dad it was extremely emotional and a lot of crying and when I told my mom she was just sort of "k cool I knew because your friends are really bad at whispering" but that just sort of proves that you can't tell what you're going to get and you don't know how they're going to react. I thought my mom would yell at me because she's religious but she was extremely accepting. Coming out was the scariest thing I've ever done but once you get over it you'll be okay. I like to think of it as a roller coaster. Coming out is the drop, it's scary but worth it in the long run.
That's so comforting to know
Alaina B proud of you for coming out to your parents - out of all people, they're definitely some of the hardest to tell.
You probably should tell ur parents first so that doesn't happen 😂😂
Congrats :)
Alaina B nice thought at the end can I use it
Soon, the day will come when people don't need to come out cause everyone will accept the decisions that others make without judging
+marcos lopez I don't know, when my friend came out to me it was just like two seconds in a conversation and then everything was normal straight away again ahaha
+Katie Licheni do you mean normal gay away XD soz m8
Gooberaj becca murphy no no that's my sense of humor also 😂😂
Donald trump might become president of America is that really gonna happen any time soon ?( someday I hope you don't have to come out but yah even a chance that Donald trump will become president THE WORLD GOING INSANE)
i wish
It's so awesome of you to talk about what happens after coming out! I feel like no one talks about that so I'm glad you did that :) I hope more youtubers do this!
Jennifer Fix love you troye
Hope too
Jennifer Fix you comment on every video!!
Charlotte Ella TRUTH
Jennnnnnn
I'm troyesexual.
Made me laugh so hard......... :)
Ohmygosh XD
Same
Maggie Khan n a i l e d i t
Maggie Khan i- you just- i love you
It's weird because the first person I came out to was my best friend and I started to cry because that's the first person that I ever told. But then she literally said "I don't really care" and we wrote a fanfic after that. LIKE WOAH OKAY.
same except we started talking about the human centipede😂 like what.
+Bandz_netflix_RUclips13 |-/
My friend came out to me and she was crying and I just said "Hey! You're like Dumbledore!"
+teacrab I think most people have their friends completely cool with it, but I had something slightly weirder and I feel better. My "bestie" was out as Lez, and I actually had no idea what I was, and the first person I told was her, via asking her out. obviously it can't be expected that coming out results in long term relationship with your"friend" but it is an outcome and even though people hate I have better people for support. also wanted to mention that everyone seems to take ages between moment of self acceptance and coming out. I took something like 5 hours.
You two girls are fine I told my parents and my friends there were completely cool about it and I feel great and I'm so nervous but I can ask you more questions after questions which I told him everything that I've done after drinking both sexes and I was around eight years old so I feel better now thank you
I have noticed that talking about this stuff online is so ok and normal, but in real life, it's very awkward and people tend to avoid the conversation. I think this should change. xxx
True
Hahahah Yee 😂
I just wish something like 'coming out' wouldn't exist. I want people to be able to love who they want and not care about their label. I will never understand why would anyone have a problem with someone's sexuality, like why the fuck do you care. people are people, love is love, that's all that matters to me.
:$...agree
Exactly the reason why I won't "come out"
👏👏👏👏
Preach girl 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
+LadyMinor13 i know i hate that coming out is a thing. like straight people dont come out.
I'm 14 and I came out to my mom as a lesbian a couple months ago. My dad was at work at the time and we talked about it for a bit. I cried and she giggled because she thought it was silly for me to cry. She said it was perfectly fine and I had nothing to worry about. When I came home she told my dad and that night was strange. Everyone was so nice to me that it was awkward. The amount of times I heard, "I love you" that night and, "you'll always be my little baby" is unreal. I had lots of chocolate bars and hugs for a few days until things went back to normal. My parents know about my sexuality, but the rest of my family doesn't. Whenever they talk about me getting a boyfriend my mother always says, "Oh she's not interested in boys" and winks at me. I'm glad and I'm lucky to have had parents like mine
i'm so happy for u
i have the same story as you except it usually happens in my dream. but really happy for you :)
Am sooooo happy for you
Coming out seems really awkward. I don't think I'll do it I'll just come home with a girlfriend or boyfriend and be like yeah deal wit it
omg same, like I told everybody except for my parents and I'm just like, my brother didn't need to come out as straight either
Right thats wot i was thinking (hehe a year later)
@Bani Bakshi hahah wtf
SAAAAMMMMMEEEE
LMAOOOOO
TROYE don't worry about having a "delay" on your life! You're only 19-20 and you've gone much further than most people at your age. So what you didn't have a real relationship until your late teens? I'm 17, straight and haven't even had my first kiss yet! You are right where you need to be.
I like your point, but he's actually 21 (I think) haha sorry to be that person...and sorry if I'm wrong.
That Kid From Band Class doesn't really matter tho!! But thanks for clarifying anyways :)
SO REALATABLE LIKE SAAAAAME
I'm 20 and never had relationship or really kissed anyone. I always thought I was weird because all my friends were hooking up and dating since middle school and I was always like "ehhh don't feel like it". Maybe I just haven't found someone that I really want to get to know unfortunately..
I think Troye is fine 😊
ofowlsandcities he was 22
Yeah I came out about a year ago and it's hard to find someone who fits these standards:
1. Lesbian
2. Single
3. Attractive(looks and personality)
4. Feelings reciprocated
Holly Akins Found one. Not totally sure on 3 but guys seem to be into me :P
@katieturner she's talking about lesbians. Why did you have to say that? Make her feel better? Bye.
Amélie McCormick I am gay. I'm not trying to be mean. I am so so sorry if I offended her . I was just saying a guy thought I had a nice personality. Then we had to have that awkward talk. I am sure that you both are fantastic girls and you deserve the best. I am sorry to have made you think any differently. It might have come out wrong.
Amélie McCormick I just looked at my old comment and :P might have been misinterpreted. I meant :P as in "not into that". Genuinely sorry if I made anyone unhappy. Keep smiling . :)
***** you look like a thumb in your dp so don't go calling other people names mate😂
I didn't realize Troye has been on social media since he was a teen. I'm 50 year old gay man that still isn't comfortable being gay. I never thought about what Troye said on how you have to come out almost daily. Troye is such an intelligent guy and so well spoken. I saw his coming out video too he has so much confidence for his age then and now. Troye you're an incredible person and you have Amazing talent.
I saw this Tumblr post that made me so happy. It was about this guy who asked his gay friend"Hey,when are you gonna come out to your parents?" And the guy was like,I'm not. My straight brother doesn't have to go up to our parents and be like"Mom,Dad. I'm straight". So why do I? And then, apparently, he showed up to his home with his boyfriend with no warning or anything, and his parents were cool about it,as if he brought home a girl. And I honestly wish that was how all "coming outs" are. You don't have to establish it becuase it doesn't matter. When I can out(to both my parents and friends),nobody gave a shit. Even the people I thought would. Coming out is made to be a big deal,and honestly,I wish it wasn't. I wish that we as a community didn't have to establish our presence,that people know about it already. Maybe I sound crazy,but its what I believe in
Also,Troye,in Gasoline,you used he. So idk how you have to come out to your studio people. But whatever. Still love you
He probably had to tell them because they probably were expecting him to write she☺️
I totally agree with you !
Bless your soul!! This is exactly how I feel! I have a few friends that are gay n bi and I honestly don't understand why people care so much... It's nobody's buisness what your sexual preference is. I honestly hope that we are going down a path in society where people become more accepting and less weird about the LGBT community. also on a side note, whoever you are out there that might be reading this and is struggling with your sexuality, just know you are a gift to this world, you are exquisite, you are strong, you are not lesser than any other person because of who you love. Stand strong and proud of who you are! Own it! There is only one you... I guess that's the great thing about being human. Love yourself. ♡♡♡♡😘
Travis McCormick FWIW, I'm bi. I have never had "that conversation" with my parents either. When I was in college and would come home for the weekends I would occasionally bring a guy or girl back home with me. I always introduced them as "my friend" and we didn't do anything obviously romantic or anything in front of my parents, but they would always sleep in my room with me instead of the guest room. It would be really naive of my parents to assume there wasn't anything going on and the couple guys were I guess what I would call "obviously" gay. Like I said, we never discussed it in terms of a romantic relationship, but my parents would sometimes ask me later how the other person was doing and if/when I was going to bring them back to visit. It isn't quite the same thing, I know, but similar in some ways. I guess my parent's COULD think I was completely straight and just had a lot of close gay friends, but I am pretty sure they have figured it out.
Where was this video when i was coming out. This is one of the most useful and calming videos on "COMING OUT" ive ever watched!! And i second everything you said. Coming out is the best decision anyone could make. My life is so much better now and regarding the 'DAY AFTER' it's completely the weirdest and most nerves day of my life!! But having really good family and friends make it so much easier. Also, having the delayed experience with relationships, I had my first proper long lasting relationship when i was 18 ish. Everything stated in this video is so true. Thank you for making such a brilliant video on such a serious topic. xxx
Troye I'm obsessed with you and I agree 100% that not enough people talk about the aftermath and I think it's awesome that you are! Love you man
JamesWronaVlogs James OMG you watch Troye too?! I watch your vids all the time! Love you! :D
+HopefulOutcast I like your username :) I feel like a hopeful outcast at times.
as long as you enjoy it bro, also loving the intro.
I feel like Troye is not like the other youtubers. Like Tyler, he does Q and slays. Superwoman, she does types of people videos. Joey Graceffa, he does random videos. Marcus Butler and Alfie Deyes and stuff. Pewds does gaming videos. All that stuff you know what.
But then here's the thing - there are only little youtubers like Troye, Connor, Dan and Phil. People like them who encourage people to chase their dreams. To encourage the sad. To make someone feel better and not need to be self-conscious about themselves. To help others who are struggling with their sexuality and changing people's mind to something good. Jesus, this world needs more people like them.
Quintus May I think Troye shows us more of the real Troye, like what is in his heart and his real thoughts on so many things and that is why it so easy to love his channel. It feels personal, like talking to a friend, when we watch his videos. The other folks are still great, but they have a 'TV personality' to keep up, so its not like talking to a friend, its like watching a great show. If that makes any sense.
Quintus May That was kind of beautiful
Quintus May I love everyone who you listed, but i totally agree with you. Dan and Phil are my life.
Quintus May maybe u dont watch enough of Lilly (IISuperwomanII) :), Tyler doesnt only do Q n Slays, Alfie is all about positivity
They're are a lot of people like them lol wtf
I'm ace (asexual), and we get invalidated so often. It's so rare for me to find other aces for one, and for another, find people who just accept the fact that I'm really not into sex. And it took me almost five years after high school ended to come to terms with and accept that part of myself - I still wake up doubting myself some mornings.
And it's really nice to have a forum where we can have that conversation.
ImaginingFreedom hi [fellow ace kiddo here]! Does the doubting ever go away? I’m at the stage where I’m constantly coming out and talking about it to kind of validate myself and I just want to be able to accept and have others accept who I am.
My oldest daughter is ace. You are totally valid, and I hope you will get to the point of not doubting that.
gray ace here
Hey look I found the 1%... Hi fellow Aces.
Same, we are never represented. None of the singer, actor I knew of is ace. I watch music videos and keep wondering why all the girls music videos has boys and men music videos has girls in skimpy clothes talking about love n sex. No protogonist in movies are ace. I live in a conservative country so coming out doesn't matter. Here marrying is life goal, liking not liking sex doesn't matter,it's your duty to continue blood line. Even ascetic religious figures can't convinced their parents in their teen, they they announced they gonna refrain from sex ndevote their life to God, their parents planned their marriage, and they have to fled from their home.so coming out means nothing.from my friend circle,when in college days i didn't gush over boys ,my friends dismissed me as a faker ( that inside my mind I want to have a bf, wants to do dirty things but pretending it,to look morally superior).I have celebrity boys crushes but never wanted to be touched by them
This goes perfectly with Joey's video :)
Ikr!!!!
I was literally thinking that!!!
Ikr!
Wait is joey gay
Homar Luna agreeeeddd c;
So true about coming out a million times! Our channel has also been a big step for us in the coming out process. But before that, everybody we met had to be informed individually. Thank you for addressing this important subject!
You two are super cute :3
Ahhh I found you
Love your honesty Troye, this might be cliche but it really is inspiring
JANA VLOGS jana you're everywhere omg ( i love you though ) and i agree with you it really is inspiring. :)
JANA VLOGS Jana you are my spirit animal I love you
Give me your beauty
Please
Pleassssssssseeeeeee
On the "delay" thing... I feel that so much. I'm 16, bi (but lean more towards girls lol), and still have no had my first kiss. and most of my friends have definitely had theirs, some of them have done more than i have even considered doing. and for me, I think it's because for years I just totally avoided people because I really didn't know who I was. but now that I do know who I am, I feel so overwhelmingly inexperienced that I'm afraid to start going out with someone and be so uneducated on everything. I've dated 2 girls, one of which was a long distance relationship (and we still remain amazing friends today). so yeah. i agree with you when Troye on the delay thing. maybe it doesn't happen to everybody, but it's definitely affecting me ;-;
*not
lol
Omg im like the exactly the same, but in my 20 lol. But don't really care, she will come when shes comes. The good comes for those who wait,... or something ,3 just keep a positive mind! ^^ (Y)
Felicia Ahlberg exactly, we'll have our time to shine and be with whoever we fall in love with :)
This is totally me except I'm not really sure if I'm bi I'm thinking I'm gay but I get nervous when talking to some guys so I don't really understand yet
ya SAVAGE hey, questioning is okay too :) I'm not even fully sure of myself yet lol. but whenever I get discouraged thinking about everything I just remember Shane Dawson didnt figure his sexuality out till his 20s. we've got plenty of time. :)
Came out to my mom in a heat of the moment thing when she asked if a friend was a girlfriend, she then cried, told me several times I was not normal and said it was not what she wanted and she wasn't going to have grandchildren a normal way or a daughter in law.
Pretty selfish if you ask me, only thinking of her in the situation. I'm still yet to come out to my dad so me and my mom have to act as normal around the house.
I told her about my first boyfriend and she said she felt sick and needed to sit down. Sorry mom, I am normal, and you just need to think of people other than yourself 👍
I hope she comes round eventually. until then, look after yourself and i hope your girlfriend can support you too :-)
frank m I don't think you read it right, I'm gay haha
Harrison Ganner Theres a bright side she didnt kick you out of the house..... but i'm sorry your mother reacted that way, life can be such a bitch
Harrison Ganner omg you've been brave though!
Omg that's awful. It's great though that you are (seem to be) strong enough to not question your worth and normalness as a human being and stuff like that after a reaction like that. Stay strong!
regardless of your sexuality, if you see this comment know that you are beautiful and someone out there loves you very much 😁. Oh and I love you too 😘
I genuinely thought he was going to come out as HIV positive for a long second...
Yes omg
Rabbit Monroe why does coming out interconnect with HIV so quickly
mmmVIEWER1 it absolutely doesn't. purely because 5 seconds into the video he said he made a video for world aids day Then he said it was an important conversation he needed to have with us.. I looked at the title again and was like OH SHIT
Rabbit Monroe omg I know I got really really scared
mmmVIEWER1 He talks about HIV/AIDS in the first 10 secs of the video....
this stuff is so awkward to talk about irl, but feels so normal online xxx
I'm bisexual and not a single person knows except you now. None of my friends or family. If they find this comment then I guess that will be easier but I still have a crush on a boy, but I've had mini-crushes on girls (not my friends or at my school though) and I'm confused. It feels good knowing someone else finally knows.
Thank you for sharing this 💕💕
Me too. 😊
Literally same
This is me
+Mia Carnegie love you :)
I honestly think coming out shouldn't even be a thing, I am NOT saying that people should hide their sexualities, but I really think that there is no need to make a sort of announcement about your sexuality. I mean if the topic comes up you just normally talk about it, as if it was a normal thing. Because IT IS a normal thing, there's nothing weird or abnormal with being gay or bi or trans.
Also people shouldn't just automatically assume that you are straight.
You don't need to make an announcement about your sexuality, nor do you need anyone's approval for being who you are. :)
This was beautiful
Wow! I 100% agree with u :)
if only lol. this is a nice idea but sadly it's not how life works 😔😔 just because it's normal to some people doesnt mean that they're aren't some homophobic and nasty people out there. and even in this day & age, the majority of people assume that your are straight and or cisgender. people still see it as the norm. if coming out wasn't necessary then a lot of lgbtq+ people would not have to go through so much heartache and stress, but it is 😕😕😕
YES SOMEONE SAID IT I 1000000% AGREE WITH YOU!!
thanks guys haha :)
Recently I told someone that I am gay, but the second I said it, I realized I wasn't ready for her to know yet. She kind of pushed it out of me, and I regret telling her. She was totally cool with it, but I just wasn't ready for her to know yet. I'm scared she's going to tell other people at my school. I'm still in the process of accepting myself, and I wasn't ready to bring other people into the mix. I also relate to the fact that we have a delay in life. I'm 16, and all of my friends have had 2 or 3 relationships already, and I haven't had any, and I don't see myself having one any time soon. When I do finally get in a relationship, I'm not going to have any clue on how to be in a relationship. Sometimes I wish I wasn't gay.
+Sarah sarah, i feel the same way. about your friend, please try to talk to her and tell her that maybe you are not ready yet and ask her to not tell anyone, because it isn't her business really. I kind of did the same thing previously in my life and it ended in a terrible way so I really don't want you to go through the same thing. try to make it really clear to her that she can't tell anyone, even if you have a fight with her and you start hating each other or anything like that, bc that's what happened to me. sometimes I too wish I wasn't gay, and that is actually really sad and terrible, but at the end of the day it seems so much easier and it would save so much energy, i know. but if you think about it, it's actually useless to keep thinking like that bc it can't be changed, so we just need to try to accept it and move on. please stay safe and good luck with everything. i hope everything in your life goes well and that you find happiness bc it's so important. always remember that there are people who accept you and love you for who you are, and you should accept and love yourself too before anything else. :)
+Sarah If you're too feeling too comfortable with the person knowing you can maybe go have a talk with them and tell them how they feel, I'm sure they'll understand. And about the being in a relationship thing, don't feel like you're missing out or anything. Enjoy what life has to offer you, get comfortable in your own skin, discover yourself and I'm sure you'll find someone who'll be perfect for you. You might think that you won't have a clue about how to function in a relationship when you finally get in one, but if anything, your age and experiences will make you wiser and help you deal with/understand the situations that you will be put in. I hope this helped in some way.
Its been 6 years since you commented. I so hope life is better now
So glad you’re putting this out there, accepting of oneself can be really hard.
I'm trying to figure out if troye lines his waterline with white eyeliner or if I'm just seeing things
smack it smack it in the air he does
smack it smack it in the air i think he does
but he rocks it : )
I was thinking that too XD looks ace :D
smack it smack it in the air His eyes are already massive, he doesn't need it!! LOL
Omg I see it to
Hi , I'm 71 and gay and wanted to assure you that because of people like you its so much easier for everyone that follows. many thanks maybe soon nobody will have to come out because nobody will care anymore. Again many thanks for your efforts, thanks from America.
You the man Rocky! Always have been always will ✌️ brother! 🏆
rocky315w *Highfive* You deserve a award!
rocky315w For typing an awesome comment!
I'm really glad I clicked this video because it made me feel so much better. So, I am 17 years old and bisexual. I had never hinted that I was curious about girls until my teenage years. When I was young, I refused to let myself even THINK about girls like that because my family and my teachers told me it was wrong and I didn't want them to think I was weird. When I was about 15, I admitted to my friends that I was bi-curious. Funny thing is, two of my best friends are bisexual and they were out before me. When I was 16 years old, I came out as bisexual to my close friends and a select few family members. My cousins and friends were super accepting and my mom seemingly was too. What I didn't know was that when I told her that, she thought it was a phase. So some time later she asked me "Do you still think you're bisexual?" and I'm like "No, I don't think. I AM." And she basically just told me that I have no idea what I'm talking about. No matter what I say, she will not believe that's who I truly am. I always get told that "It's just a phase" or "You're just trying to be edgy" or "It's normal to be curious" It just annoys me to no end. If I'm "just curious" then WHY on earth have I been in love with the same girl for three years? Of course, I can never tell my mom that. I can't even imagine what the rest of my family would have to say. Sorry for my long-ass comment and thank you to anyone who took the time to read it. :) Has anyone else had this problem or something similar?
GreenEyedAng3l I'm straight so I never experienced situations like that but I think its super stupid to tell ppl that they are going through a phase, bc its just plain bullshit. I think some people just don't get that bisexuality is not being straight and just curious about homosexuality(like wanting to try it but just for fun). it's not. i wish you the best, and I hope that the people who mean much to you get that it is just who you are and how you feel. in the end our sexual orientation doesn't define us at all.
GreenEyedAng3l That sucks to hear. It's sad that people are often not accepted by their family for who they are.
I honestly don't really know what to advise you or anything. Cherish your friends, because they love you for who you are. Honestly: There is a part in your life where you have to decide who your real family is. If your biological family happens to be included in there, that's fine. But if not so... then create your new family.
On the other hand, I really hope that your family will some day come to terms with it. If people say stuff like your mom does, it's probably just because they themselves have a reeeaaally hard time understanding everything, and they are maybe insecure or whatever. It's hard to accept and understand for us, but still... everyone has their story and their reasons why they do what they do.
I wish you all the best and that you will find a way to handle things so that you are happy and okay with your decisions.
Haylee Michelle I agree. I guess some people just can't wrap their mind around that sort of thing... which sucks because it really isn't that difficult of a concept. Sorry about your friends. Hopefully they'll learn to be more understanding.
I've definitely had a similar thing. I didn't realise I was bi until several years after I started being attracted to guys and it took me a while to come to terms with it, which is weird because I haven't been brought up around homophobes or anything but it was still a shock. I told my family and it was a non event but years later my mum's still asking me if I'm really bi which is infuriating. I'm in love with a girl I know, I'd have thought that would make it pretty clear. I had my first kiss when I was sixteen and now that I'm nearly eighteen I've only been in one relationship and that was with a guy. I have no idea how to go about getting a girlfriend, which is what I want at the moment. It's all very stressful.
GreenEyedAng3l I have the same problem because I'm transgender, my mum tries to tell me that I'm not and how I feel about my body and think too. I hate it.
I am gay and I knew it from the age of 12-13, came out when I were 20, because I was too scared actually admitting and since I came out, I actually got more happy and relieved. I was so scared for so long, for no reason at all. So I am 24 now and I can say: "I regret I didn´t tell it way earlier". Luckily for me I am happy with my boyfriend now and everything is alright. Most of them accepted aswell, even my father. So, I get you are scared but it's such a relieve!
That's amazing!
i'm super happy you decided to start such a series! i first identified myself as bi, then pan, over the last few years. i've been homeschooled for a while as well, due to my anxiety problems, so i haven't got much friends to come out to, but i tried coming out to my family a couple months ago via a drawing/weird poem. it didn't really work out, as they literally never addressed it, and like you i felt kinda dirty and embarrassed about it + retrieved the drawing afterwards. i know they're okay with it though, so i don't mind that much. just wish they'd been a bit more supportive at the time. my dad has been the only one to make some reference to it since, and recently surprised me and brought me "vote yes" pin and stickers. he seemed v happy and i literally couldn't stop smiling all day.
overall things are okay. it irks me when people automatically talk about boys, but i'm usually too awkward to correct them. i've realized the very few sex ed classes i've had at school never mentioned any lgbt info- hopefully things will change in the near future. i struggle with social interaction, so i wouldn't know anything about sex or relationships if it wasn't for my own internet research/ace, pan, bi info sites/lgbt online groups and support/etc.
i'd like to add that i find "irl" people to be very misinformed about sexualities and genders. spending my days on tumblr it seems quite easy to be a grey-a pan teen but when i log off and try talking with people around, most have no idea what pan, or trans, or ace mean. like wow. this is the real world. i am supposed to only like boys and shouldnt go outside with my boobs out.
eh Omg I have definitely thought so much about the internet vs irl thing!! I don't understand why so many people online are so informed but people irl aren't as much. I'm very thankful for the internet though. Most everyone is so supportive and I'm more comfortable talking about my sexuality on here to complete strangers than my friends and family irl. I'm really hoping that soon this knowledge will spread more irl and everyone will be educated and hopefully supportive so that we can be comfortable EVERYWHERE.
I'm bisexual and coming out was so hard for me because I also came out when I was fifteen and I was in no way taken seriously, and I'm still not. This is going to sound horrible, but, I wish I was just gay. It wouldn't be completely easy, but easier to explain to a newly met person so that I don't get the typical: "are you sure," "so you'd be down for an orgy," (I'm not even joking with the last one I've been asked that) and then, "but bisexuality isn't REAAALLY a thing though," because I'm getting really fucking tired of that.
I can see why people dont think bi sexuelyty is a thing, but i know it is. I dont know jet of im be streaght or lesbian but i have seen my bi bestfriend with her past boyfriend and current girlfriend. And they are always lovydovy. But i have respect for you because if i where you i would allready give lots of people a bitchslap.
I understand. Im 16 and I realized when i was 13 that i was bi but no one really believed me and my mom is still like you're young to think that but i have had 6 ex boyfriends and i have a girlfriend right now and i dont think im young and wish people would stop the belief that bisexuality isnt real. I also know what its like to wish that i was just gay cuz thatd be so much easier and i wish it wasnt that way but it is.
I'm bi too and I'm not out to my family yet mostly because a lot of people don't understand bisexuality or think it doesn't exist. I understand your feeling of wanting to just be gay because it feels like it would be easier to explain to someone that I like girls than it is to explain that I like boys and girls. And when some of the LGBTQ+ community seems to forget that B stands for bisexual, that makes me scared to come out because I don't really feel like I belong with the straight people and I don't feel like I belong with the LGBTQ+ community sometimes either.
Kenzi Bruner idk if you saw Shane Dawson's I'm Bisexual video but he talks about wishing he was gay too, because it would be easier. It might help you to watch it because you might relate to it :)
Kenzi Bruner I think I'm bi because I've had a few crushes on girls but the thing is I don't even want to tell anyone because the way I see it, people can think whatever they want. If I'm with a girl than they can think I'm gay or if I'm with a guy they can think I'm straight. I don't care but I also feel like I should be honest with people...
My first boyfriend and I broke up because he came out. It was really awkward conversation because he didn't know how I would take it. I was so cheesy and said it meant more to me to see him happy but I regret nothing!
bless you for being such a supportive person :)
J V My current girlfriend broke up with her previous boyfriend when she came out as a lesbian, and all three of us were once friends. He tries to make our life a living hell, but we manage.
I glad you was supportive. I sure a lot of people have broke up because they came out. You wasn’t mad at him for coming out.
@@wishsufficient3784 don't let him get to you!
i'm so proud of u
I'm 17 years old, and straight, and I have never even kissed someone, so I think there's this weird delay on my life too :/
Literally same hahah
Same! And I turn 18 very very soon😰
I feel you. Well I already kissed a boy but I've never really been in a proper relationship. All my friends are dating people and then there is me watching from the sideline. Sometimes I feel really odd about it.
I feel your pain..
Jaimie hi Yeah you are not on your own I promise
JOEY WHO ELSE IS FREAKING OUT ABOUT JOEY
um not freaking out just loving and supporting and v v proud
princekeisha6 same :) much love for joey! and i meant freaking out in a good fangirlish way!
Yes!
YESSS
Joey who?!
You are the strongest person. I wish you could speak to everyone. I’m a straight mother of six (3 girls/3 boys) and an ally to the lgbtq+ community. You’re the best spokesperson and so close and one who people look up to. I wish more people would come out of hiding and be their authentic self like you are. It makes you such a full person. With so much ❤️ love!!!
really appreciate that 'what is after'-topic because I have never seen it adressed before but it is HUGE. coming out was hard but the days after were terrible. as you mention, everyone was trying to act normal and I felt like everyone was thinking about it at all times of the day and whatever we spoke it would always have an undertone of my former coming out. and still....6 years later I still know exactly how awkward this was.
my dad said that if any of his kids were gay he would kick us out of the house for a few hours to plan a coming out party
I read that so wrong the first time. I was like, "Your dad is a jerk!" Then you said to plan a coming out party and I was like, "Your dad is so sweet!" 😂
Rebecca Monahan me too 😂
yeah when I first heard that I was kind of scared
+Rebecca Monahan same :D
+Mallory C lucky my dad would kick me out...
Troye's videos are the only ones which I don't skip the ad because if there is any RUclipsrs out there which I wanna give money then it has to be Troye 😊 Did that make sense? If not then all I wanted to say is that I basically don't skip the ad's at the beginning of Troye's video's 😉😂
I usually can't skip them because I normally have unskippable ads
i do that tooo 😂😂😂👍🙌
+Sophie Macca I totally get it and me too! :)
wait, those adds give money to the people in the video your watching? i don't really understand
Victoria Sierra RUclipsrs make money from the ads that show up in their videos, they get a certain amount of money from the ad appearing and slightly more if the person clicks on the ad
Hes so beautiful and i love him so much. Cant hold my tears when staring at his mesmerizing eyes. Hes super wise and love him . Awesome
Unlike most of the people I know, I've completely added being gay or knowing someone who is gay to my list of normal things. Like I was talking to my sister about Troye and I was like "oh yeah he's gay". It was almost like I forgot about it. Not that he liked boys or whatever, but the term. To me, everything about him is completely normal. I never felt there was anything different. idk just me rambling
Exactly, because it doesn't matter.
I feel the same way. Like I have many of gay friends and everytime someone come out to me I need to take a minute to think why they are making such a deal about it until I realise.
I look foward to the day our society won't be so heteronormative so no one will need to tell they aren't straight because no one will assume that in the first place.
I'm so confused now I don't know why I am!
Shaun Mellet Don't worry, life is all about finding out who you are! You'll find yourself soon, Shaun (; xD
Shaun Mellet thats fine just wait until you find whats natural .theres a possibility you could be asexual and not be attracted to anyone at all
nikki Gardner Shaun is Troyes dad (:
Troyes dad for president tbh
haha i only just read the name .i was just replying to like everyone and trying to help .hey shaun! monster moo
I wonder if this was planned to go with Joeys new video? It was perfect timing! I'm really excited for this series though, it will help a lot of people xx
Forgot an x whoops
I was thinking the same thing
I was thinking the exact same thing
IKR that is what I was thinking
Which joey graccefa nd in wat video
The fact that people automatically assume others are "straight until proven otherwise" is so disappointing. Time for a change!!! Down with heteronormativity :)
abundanceoferica maybe up with equality instead? hating on something almost never solves the problem
Mage of Heart saying down with heteronormativity does not mean you hate straight people, it just means that people shouldn't be expected to be straight just because they haven't come out.
Mage of Heart I don't hate straight people, I just hate when people assume others are straight
thats2fast2u Thanks!
abundanceoferica Well, it does kind of make sense because statistically you're more likely to be straight than anything else. But still, I think it would save people a lot of stress and angst if no sexuality was treated as default.
I came out when I was in college: a bit later than you. I was SO LUCKY - when I told my parents they both told me that they just wanted me to be happy!!! HOW GREAT IS THAT? Then, MY FATHER told me --------- be careful, there are a lot of people in the world who have it against gay people! Can you imagine, my father, an Irish Catholic cop, was warning me about gay bashers. So so so lucky. I really agree with you about the "delay" thing - and I have to say that you are a very well spoken, intelligent young man!!!
Did anyone else notice Troye's pinky finger is painted?
He got bored, according to him on snapchat XD
Morgan Moard hahahhah
Adrian Halter Thx
I was like the heck
Morgan Moard i was waiting for this comment
I'm with you on the delay thing. I didn't know I was bi until I was 17, and i definitely feel like figuring it out "late" hindered me because I wasn't the type to get with random people before, and you'd think being bi you get more options but you actually get more confusion on what person is what sexuality. I definitely feel like I missed out on a lot of key things; I haven't even been on a date or in a real relationship yet but I'm still 20 so I have time I guess.
sonicroll3000 Hey I just posted a comment about my experience with feeling that delay, I didn't have any kind of relationship till 22. I don't know what it's like to realize bi sexuality but I imagine it's an extra tricking situation because of the lack of knowledge and communication in general people have about it. Communication and honesty is always the most important thing in figuring it out and finding a partner. Don't hold back in them or there will be feelings of uncomfort. Good luck and stay safe.
We are the same people! Your story is exactly mine and I'm also 20 now haha.
mydogbuffy2 In my case, the idea of being bi was 100% alien to me. I knew about homosexuality and heterosexuality, but nobody had ever told me there was something else. A friend of mine came once to my room and, after seeing the posters on my wall, he was like "huh, so you like girls" and I got really awkward so he explained everything to me. I don't know how it is to other people, but I'm pretty sure that if it hadn't been for him, I'd still be freaking out.
this made me feel much better...i just recently realized I was gay and I'm almost 19 and haven't really been with any girls cause I spent highschool fussing over guys and now I feel like if I were to be with a girl they would be way more experienced than me and that kinda scares me
I'm thinking of coming out to my family this week, and I'm so nervous. Can you guys please wish me luck? I really need it.
Don't feel pressured but if you feel that you are ready then GOOOOOOOD LUUUUUUCK!!!!!!!! XD
When I came out to my parents (I'm bisexual), I did it subtly by complaining about a homophobic comment I'd heard on my train ride home and said how annoyed I was by people dismissing my lgbtq community. My dad said "Your community?" And I quickly clarified and said explained. Both my parents were cool with it. So maybe try bringing up your sexuality in a very casual way to make it difficult for your family to dismiss.
charday McKenzie GOOD LUCK! :) You will rock that shit!
charday McKenzie good luck!:)
charday McKenzie good luck
As soon as I came out I regretted it immediately because my mom doesn't support it.
+Skeleton Clique omg i'm so sorry for you both. I hate it when people doesn't accept this stuff because i actually love it! I have many friends who are bi or gay or lesbian and it's all ok. I apologize even if it's too late c:
I haven't come out to my mom as bi yet. but I know that she's okay with it. it's just my dad that I'm scared cause I don't know if he's going to be supportive or anything.
+crystal miller Don't be scared.If he really cares about you he will live you no mater what you like.l support you.😘#LoveIsLove
Precious James
thank you so much that really mean a lot. :)
+crystal miller I havnt come out as bi to my parents yet either and I hope you are feeling ok ,I get stressed just sitting in the car with them sometimes even though I don't really know what they'll say xxx
2:12, I came out yesterday and I just want to say thank you for explaining that feeling. I talked to some of my LGBTQ+ friends, and none of them could relate. So, thank you Troye.
by the time i personally had even realized that I wasn't straight, I already had had a bunch of friends (including my best friend) come out to me so it wasn't so much of a thing that I had been keeping inside at all...
it was more like I went to my best friend and said "yeah so I think I'm probably not straight" and he said "tOOK YOU LONG ENOUGH TO REALIZE" (he knew before I did)
Same...
YESYESYES OH MY GOD THE DAY AFTER WAS THE SAME EXACTLY FOR ME
i WAS SO CONFUSED AND THANK GOD IT WASN'T JUST ME
Sophia Piper Careful, don't have a cardiac episode.
Sophia Piper Are you okay there, Sophia?
dennis sloan
too late
nice icon
I love everything about you: your songs, your dancing, your acting, your individuality. I love you, Troye❤️❤️
Im bisexual. I've known this for about 4 years. Never tried to be with a girl. Just knew it was there.. I like both genders. My best friend knows and that's it. I'll never tell my family. They're not necessarily homophobic..just weird and assholes about it? I wanted my hair short, and my brother said I'd look "gay". And I said so what? And he said "well you're not gay" like who cares if I am or not? Hair doesn't make you gay...anyways. It's just such a heavy weight. I never thought it would bother me. But I'm tired of hiding who I am. But I just can't come out. I'm just always so sad. I'm never happy. And this weight just adds onto me. I don't know what to do. I can't stand this fuckin pressure to be straight. I just want everything to stop. I want to be normal. Not that being gay or bi or anything is bad. I'm just so confused. I wish it was as simple as some people make it
I'd like to know how old are u, because I'm kind in the same situation as you, but I know that I won't reveal it to my parents, but still in a few months I'm going to study away from home, so I'll be much more free, and I'll have the opportunity to have the experiences I never had. I don't know if U'll get this opportunity, but in my opinion once u do, u'll be eventually more convicted about your choices in life and would be more comfortable telling and giving no choice to the others. I think I like both genders, but I don't see myself spending the rest of my life with the same gender as me, it is my own opinion I have nothing against other couples, but I don't know, for me it will be just to experience, but who knows I might change my mind. Anyway I hope someday you'll get the courage to say it out loud and hope you'll be happy! Love.
i feel you
Jenny Tulls here´s some advice: you should definately be true to yourself and come out at some point. but maybe if it feels too weird with them around wait until you live on your own, then it won´t affect you that much.
Jenny Tulls I'm in a very similar situation myself. I came out as bi to most of my friends throughout the last month, but I've made the decision to not tell my parents or the rest of my family. Its something that I think about nearly constantly, but I just cant. I'm finally at a place where I'm ok with being bi and trying to be proud of it, but for so long I tried to be straight. I hated myself for who I was and it was horrible. I thought about it constantly and had so much internalized homo/biphobia to get over. Like you, I just wanted to be normal. But I got over it and soon I hope you will too. I'm starting to realize that being bi isn't such a huge deal as I thought; in the end, what difference does the gender of the person I date make? Anyway, I wish you the best of luck and if you ever have any questions or need to talk, feel free to message me. Good luck and I hope that you find peace soon.
Jenny Tulls I was in the same situation as you are. But then I came out to a few of my best friends and it was totally fine, they said it didn't matter. Now there is 9 people who know about me. My point is, you need to tell it to the people who will understand and not tell your secret to anyone. That way you won't look at your secret as a burden. Trust me:)
I def had 'that day'. It actually lasted about 2-3 days.... It felt weird because as you say you feel exposed for something you always managed to keep secret, but at the same time I was relieved I had come out to my family, that was the coming out that scared me the most. This is an amazing project Troye - LOVE WILD by the way :)
~too long till i drown in your hands. almost six years damn_______
well basically I am straight and once I went to my parents and told them that I am straight and this is not gonna change and that's who I am and thanked them for being accepting and I didn't like mean to be like "coming out is stupid and let's make fun of it". i did it bc I believe that not only gay people need to come out like it's natural! if you are attracted to one gender or more than one gender or not attracted by any gender it's normal and people need to understand that. and I really got very anxious tbh when I went to tell them bc I had to explain them thst I've been questioning my gender for a while but I decided that I am straight and I feel this way and I am proud.
He’s so precious this is wild to see 8yrs later
BABE THIS VIDEO IS AMAZING (IVE ONLY WATCHED ONE MINUTE THOUGH)
sinead savanah same lol
I didnt really have the greatest time coming out the first time. I was targeted and attacked by crowds of students and teachers. But now im very accepting and just straight up tell people. Yeah and? My only real problem with being bisexual is validity. No one believes you. I have been in a long term relationship with a boy for a while now and no believes that i like girls more than boys. I like girls and boys. Because im in a hetero relationship people, straight and LGBT feel the need to banish me from the LGBT crowd. Its unfair.
Bobo Bandersnatch I had a similar reaction (kind of...). All the terms are just names we give to certain attractions. Bisexual is pretty broad term, liking guys and girls, but to what extent? That's what it doesn't specify. You can be straight and still find guys/girls attractive, and get called bisexual as a result. Really it all comes down to knowing what you are, and never doubting that. If people ask, they don't need an answer and if people judge its because they don't really know the full story. As for validity, you don't need to prove who you are or what you feel. That's a decision you make.
Bobo Bandersnatch I'm something like ... a gay ally? ;) Please, PLEASE know that I feel like shit that the gay community (my own) excludes people that make so similar experiences. We NEED to be open.
I think of bisexuality just as valid as anything else.
Bobo Bandersnatch It's hard, I know. As bi myself, a lot of people just pretend I don't exist. The LGBT community as a whole is more like LGGGGGb and the T isn't even considered.
My advice is just to hand on. YOU know who you are. That's the most important and difficult thing, and you already got it. Don't let ignorant people affect you, because at the end of the day what matters is how you see yourself. I'm here if you wanna talk.
Same! Because I've been focused on this one guy for so long it's like my friends have forgotten that I like girls too. I feel like I'm having to come out all over again to them because they thought it had gone away. How can a sexuality fade away? It's annoying, you feel like maybe it would be easier to just ignore girls and pretend to be straight. Also they focus on how many boys I've dated compared to girls, they forget it's much harder to meet lesbians, the dating pool is miniature
***** exactly! And even when you do meet lesbians, they "wont date a bi girl" :/
seriously, this guy is adorable even when he is awkward
I love the young people and expressing their heartful feelings! No matter how old or young you are, we all have the same feelings and thoughts. It's human nature and never changes throughout the ages. Whether you were born in the 1800's, 1900's, 2000's and so on -- it's a constant, although a newer updated spin on things, the core is the same. Be who you are and do not be untimidated. You may lose friends, etc..but remember, that's THEIR loss. You matter.
Anyone else have an annual Troye binge? Like once a year you randomly remember these videos exist
YESSSSS
been there, done that AND still doing that!!😂😂
don't worry troye, I am hetero, 19 and I have no experience on anything what so ever, the closest thing to a kiss I get is my cat liking my foot lol
KookyGirls Videos you and me both hahaha
sofi goto Same! I'm straight, 19, and never been in a relationship or anything. I had my friend kiss me just to get the whole first kiss over with. It was fine, but I encourage you guys to wait a little longer for someone who truly like
Can I say that your comment really made me feel normal! I've ways felt bad because I had my first boyfriend (like more serious one) last year and I'm 18 now and I didn't even wanted to have a boyfriend! I was just feeling so stressed because everyone was in a relationship or something and I was alone but now I feel the happiest being single and having time to learn and love myself...
(Weird comment but I felt like I needed to get this out)
Kristina Veleva get it out! I have invested 19 years on my self and it is so great! and I get what you are saying sooo much
It's really heartwarming to see that I'm not the only one and its normal :)
I'm 54 and my daughter is 29. I first heard of you from your single "Wild" (loved it). With Youth, we are both in love with you. Your video about coming out on the internet is so inspiring Troye. I hope you continue to make more videos. You are a very brave and if you don't mind me saying so, handsome young man. Keep up the good, no great videos. I hope you inspire more men to be courageous enough to tell all their family and friends they are heterosexual and live happy fulfilling lives. We love you Troye. Love from Anne (mum) and Roxanne (daughter).
+brandon brackley did u mean aren't heterosexual?
I've never needed to come out because I'm straight but I really love that you do these videos because I personally feel that everyone on this planet should be accepted for who they are. I hope you inspire people to come out like you did
I came out twice this summer first as a trans man and then again as gay. My family isn't supportive about it but my friends are and as far as I'm concerned my friends are my family.
Violet Jewel how are you living as a trans man with an unsupportive family?? i dont know what i am but its pretty trans-ish but im just suffering because i know they would tell me its not real (they did that when i attempted to come out as gay) so i just wanted to know how you're dealing with it??
I've come to the conclusion that people will either accept you or they won't. And if they don't it's frustrating and sometimes really painful. But what is more painful is tearing yourself down to get their approval, approval that will probably never come. So be yourself and surround yourself with people who will stand by you no matter what. Do things that make you happy.
Sad go hear but im glad u have your friends
U ARE USING YOUR PLATFORM FOR GREAT THINGS GOD BLESS YOU TROYE SIVAN
And Joey came out today! So proud
It was the same thing for me, towards pretty much everything you had just said. When I came out, it was very awkward, and one of the weirdest times of my life. When I came out to my dad, everything seemed somewhat normal. About three weeks later, he had came in my room and started asking me questions about what I want in terms of a family in the future. He had also asked if I was sure that I wasn’t bisexual. At the time, I was his only son. I kinda knew where this was going. It was just incredibly strange, just like a few weeks of silence on my dad’s end, and then he wants to know if I’m carrying on the family name. In terms of the delay, I experienced the same thing. I never had an actual relationship with a guy until I was 18. This guy also lived an hour away from me, since there was literally no gay guys that lived around me. I’m 19 now, and me being gay was never an issue with anyone. When I was in school, everyone pretty much knew. I’m not sure if there was any difficult experiences for you when coming out, but there wasn’t too much for me, and to this day, I haven’t had too much happen to me because of that. For the first little while after coming out was the only time it was any different than living normal day to day life. Sorry for the long message, but this video was very interesting :)
I mean.. I'm 22 and I still haven't been in a serious relationship.. or a relationship at all for that matter. Sometimes I feel stressed about it because my friends are starting to get engaged and stuff now so I feel a bit behind but at the same time I'm like 'Who the fuck cares?' If it happens it happens, and if not then I'll just get a lot of cats or something ;)
Jessica Johansson You're not alone. I am and feel exactly the same way.
Same! But dogs, not cats...
Jessica you rock i wish you had videos
lleren hawkood Haha you're so sweet! And I do actually have a couple of videos.. I'm pretty bad at posting new ones though ^^'
Jazman Yeah, I'd be happy with either one tbh! ;)
I came out to my mom about a month ago, and I had the same next day experience. I also came out to my 700 Facebook friends/family a couple weeks ago, aaand I deleted it four days after because I felt too exposed.. I had been keeping this secret for ten years, and now EVERYONE knows.. BUT everything is good now, and I've had the awkward Q&As with friends and family.
Now I feel free.
Also, thank you for everything, but especially thank you for looking at the camera. It's very comforting!
***** That's actually false because I care about my sexuality!
Except, who said I was talking about my sexuality? My comment could have been about my gender.. or both! (:
i give every fuck about you wanting to share your story about sexuality so ignore the person above me :)
Hailstorm8 Awwe, thanks!
***** Ahh yes.. 7 year old me always wanted to be hip and cool!
Love you soo much Troye! Your songs are so amazing I keep listening to i
them and it annoys everyone 😆 xxx
+Maïane ikr 😁they're amazing
same lol
I love that outro, it's been 4 months since he made a vlog, the last one was a surprise to his dog, I miss that he starts talking about things in his life, he only uploads songs. I love the VUUUAAA
We love you Troye.
Honestly, being asexual is hard because, as any other person form the LGBT+ community has it, you have to decide whether or not to come out to a person. It's hell when you're asexual (not saying it's not hell for others, but...) because people almost never believe you or have never heard the term so you have to explain EVERYTHING, even exceptions and details and all of it and even when you have explained it patiently, many people end up saying you're just confused or you haven't found the right person or that you're just doing it for attention or that you really are gay and you just don't want to admit it. It's tiring. Me, I'm an aromantic asexual, so sometimes I say things like "I don't get you sexual humans." and they just stand there staring at me and ask "What are you? An alien or something?" So yeah, it's hard.
oh, I wanted to thank you, Troye, because I think it's very brave of someone to share their thoughts and experiences with the world. So, yeah, thank you. xxx
Just'Cause Another asexual here, although I'm panromantic, not aromantic. I think you're absolutely right, although for me, I've also come across a few cases of people swiping it under the rug, as something that's not a big deal, especially if I don't mention being panromantic, which is also greatly annoying as they just don't seem to understand the struggles that come with it. I find it hard especially in the LGBT+ community. For example when I came out to the person who was at the time my best friend, although she as a lesbian knows about some of the struggles those in the community have to face, she still gave me those standard, annoying, and to me insulting reactions people who come out as gay or lesbian get. Questioning how I knew for sure, and that I shouldn't be quick with putting a label on myself, as maybe later I'd feel different about it. Since I do still want romantic relationships, I also have to put up with comments about it being selfish of me, to want a relationship without sex, although yeah, I've had the alien comment once before too, that or a plant.
ElishaXIII Yeah, I mean a friend of mine who's also asexual and I just refer to ourselves as plants because we just resigned to people calling us that. It must be even harder for you, being panromantic (correct me if I'm wrong), because it's hard for people to understand that you DO want an intimate emotional relationship with people, just not a sexual one. Again, it's just pretty damn awful; I mean, I almost never want to come out to people, I haven't come out to my parents although they know I have never been interested in relationships. I just say "it's jus...I'm not interested" I just don't use the term because, for some reason, it bothers people or it confusses them, so yeah.. I get you.
.
I'm ace too, I definitely get how you feel. I'm not aromantic though, but I'm close to and that makes things even more confusing (I say arospec, I'm like pan-grey-cupio or something, idek, arospec is just easier). It's the easiest sexuality of them all to understand and yet nobody really does without being ace themselves. n_n
Just'Cause It's the same for me, I generally try to avoid telling people I'm asexual as I always find the reactions you get and the explaining you have to do to be such a hassle. My parents, I've come out to them as pan, but not yet as asexual, but that's mostly because I feel like my sex life is none of their bussiness XD
When I meet new people, if I come out to them, it depends on how much they already know about the community, because some people don't even know what it means to be pan as opposed to being bi, so if I don't think I'll really interact much with them in the future, I just simplify it as me being bi or pan. Coming out already tends to leave an awkward moment, let alone having to explain what all of it means.
Relationships have been difficult so far, especially guys tend to get fed up with me not wanting to have a sexual relationship with them, but, I'm still young so who knows, I might find someone who doesn't mind eventually.
So if anyone feels the same way as me PLEASE let me know. So I am 18 and for most of my life I have known I was 100% straight. Once I became comfortable with the LGBT community and knew what lesbian and gay and trans meant I started to realize that hey I wouldn't mind kissing a girl. Then I realized I was attracted to some women and then I had a sort of lesbian experience. Now I think I'm bi because I want to pursue relationships with women as well. I feel like I am not allowed to call myself that because I haven't been this way my whole life. At least I haven't realized. Help I am so confused
You are allowed to call yourself whatever you want, you are the only person who knows how you feel and can put a label on you (if you want).
Honestly I think you are feeling sort of like I did. I consider myself fully gay but that's because I've opened up to the idea of the LGBT community being a thing. Before then, I thought I was something like asexual, or someone who didn't date because all I heard throughout life was "guys don't like other guys. Gays will go to hell" But feeling alright with myself really helped!
SavzLaLa Call yourself what you wish, and even if it changes over time, go for it. There is nothing out there that says that someone can't change over time. :)
It may also just be possible that you're hitting a point that (very few, still) realize is that the shell (ie: body of a person) doesn't matter as much as what's inside. As long as both people end their day happy... what's the gender matter?
You don't have to know or feel that way straight after your born. You can develop these feelings over time it just means you love more people. If you feel like you belong then you belong it doesn't matter how long or how much you love or need the person.
I feel the same way, except I'm 19.
Hey Tro, so I've been watching your videos for around 4 or 5 years now, and I just wanted to say how much of an impact it has had on my life to essentially grow up and become myself with you. I realised I liked girls around 2 years ago, and I feel so lucky to have immediately know where to turn when I felt most alone, your openness and willing to speak out about these things gave me the courage to come out a few months ago. My whole family have been super supportive and I just wanted to say thank you from the bottom of my heart for being there for me during the coming out process, I love you so much
i just want to say, i got "i'm so tired" as an advertisment. Best ad ever ❤️
I haven't watched this fully video, so I never knew about the hickey part with his friend. When he talked about it, I started bursting out laughing.
ikr xD it's cute
I'm 20 and Bi. I came out to a close friend when I around 14, and then a few more friends when I was 15. Then at 18 I came out to friends again. At 19 I came out to my mum. At 20, I'm finding it easier to casually mention it in conversation if sexuality is brought up.
It's definitely a process but it's annoying how it still feels like I'm coming out when I first actually came out at 14!!
Definitely a yes on the "weird" stage after coming out. It was kinda sad to realize that I did not know how to interact with any of my friends or family without this giant secret I'd been keeping. It took me several months after that to realize I could start talking about LGBT movies I'd seen, LGBT books I'd read, crushes I had on girls, etc. The "weird" stage for me lasted probably about 6 months (much longer than a day!) mostly my own fault as it took me a long time to overcome that need to hide things. That was 3 years ago now, and I'm much better about prattling on about myself to my nearest and dearest. :) It's really improved all the relationships in my life, I didn't realize how much of myself I'd been keeping distant and hidden out of self-defense.
Also a yes on delayed stuff, I didn't date anyone in high school or in my first few years of university. I wasn't comfortable with myself, wasn't sure other people would be comfortable with me, and honestly it's still quite hard to find other people who are out and ok with it enough to actually date. My advice to any youngins would be to get involved in the online community, it's something you can always have in your pocket on your phone or computer and is a great space to give you some peace of mind and acceptance when you need it.
My romantic orientation is straight, but my sexual orientation is asexual. It's such a pain to explain to people that I'm interested in relationships and not interested in sex. They either think I'm too young to know (I'm 15 next March) or just don't believe me.
Oh my stars I know it’s so irritating
Chloe Peterson same here, am straight but don't want sex neither with boys nor girls. I kinda feel like being in relationship with someone but when it's comes on sex he can do sex with anyone else. for me having sex with someone else is not cheating(i don't mind) unless you have other feelings more than sex. ( maybe it's because I have been single in my whole life)
Its sad to hear cus they must believe u.
Well you're 18 now c:
It's still hard for me to talk openly about my sexuality even a year after coming out. I feel like I'm not hiding but not really open either. I'm just in this weird space of not really being totally okay with who I am but also not hating myself or anything.
I've kind of noticed this happening to me as well. Like even when I'm with people who all know that I'm queer I still feel as if I'm doing something wrong when I talk about girls and stuff.
ANerdWithWifi me too. I don't really know why. I guess just repressing it over the years. Now I feel awkward about it.
Well at least I'm not the only one! It's been a year and two months since I came out and EvErYoNe seems to say what a relief it was, but at times it just makes me feel awkward. Like the one friend that people have to avoid talking about relations with.
Kolton Hahn yeah it definitely didn't feel like much of a relief. Hopefully with time it will get better.
Trust me I understand it can be weird even when people are use to queer folks but especially when there not. When it comes to you being comfortable you really just have to be confident in who you are. Sadly your own confidence does not help awkward conversation Ik but it makes life easier for you. Also just be patient with the dating.
4:18 WHO BROKE YOUR HEART TROYE? I'LL BREAK THEIR FACE
Thank you for sharing those unique experiences. OMG, you are so so beautiful. Kela sounds like an amazing human being.
I really have no clue what my sexuality is, and I'm in no rush to find out. Is that weird? I'm a 15 year old teenage girl and all my other friends are having like long term boyfriends/girlfriends or they're coming out as gay/bi/pan/trans/etc. and normally, this wouldn't effect me, but now I feel like I'm kind of pressured to decide, because everyone else KNOWS. But at the same time, I don't want to put a label on myself. It's very confusing honestly. I've liked guys before, and I've found girls attractive before (I haven't had a crush on one yet, but I wouldn't be surprised if I did), so I just don't know. I could just be like 'oh I'm bi' but I'm still so young, you know? I feel so awkward having to put a label on myself, and when the conversation comes up with friends, I get really awkward and stutter-y because I don't know how to answer it. Labeling myself as something, especially if it was something other than straight, would change my life forever. What do you guys think? Is there anyone else like me that's just kind of nowhere? Are labels necessary? Help would be appreciated. Thanks!
I didn't label myself until a few months ago and I'm almost 19. Tbh I feel like there's no rush and like someone commented here, there's no need to label yourself if you don't want you. Also if you label yourself as something and then realize that maybe you're something else, that's totally okay
This is exactly what type of situation I'm in. My mom gets confused that I myself don't know what gender I'm attracted to. I just think all people are beautiful in their own way. And limiting yourself to a type, as troye says puts a delay on your life.
Ive always heard that girls always find another girl attractive even if they are straight if thats helpful...
You don't have to identify with anything until you're ready(: don't be pressured to do or be anything, and you don't have to put a label on it if you don't want to! You can just go about and live, and someday you'll figure it out.
Avery Byrd Hey, If it can make you feel a little bit better, I'm 18 years old and I don't know what is my sexuality :) You don't have to rush yourself to label yourself, like you said. Personally, my parents both think I'm straight, and my friends think i'm bi/homo. What is important is when you'll know "what you are", you have to make sure you are confortable with that label. If you are confortable without a label, it is good too :)
Hope that I "helped" you a little bit :3 (And sorry if I made a mistake ~)