Rob Christensen - Drug Smuggling - This Is Not Happening - Uncensored - Extended
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- Опубликовано: 17 апр 2018
- Rob Christensen gets caught trying to smuggle ketamine over the U.S.-Mexico border during one last drug-fueled hoorah with an old friend.
Watch full episodes of This Is Not Happening now: www.cc.com/shows/this-is-not-h...
This Is Not Happening airs Fridays at 12a/11c on Comedy Central.
Follow Rob Christensen on Twitter: / roblovesbagels 
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Looking for more This Is Not Happening? Check out comedians’ wildest drug stories here: ruclips.net/p/PLD7nPL1U-R5pl-EsIsmgZTuS0t3Tm6EV8
Just in case no one's warned you. Intros that last longer than 10 seconds on youtube generally run off viewers. Also giving the punch line to a joke in the intro destroys the joke. That's why it's called the "punch line" its last, it's the thing that gets laughed at after the comedian has spent his whole set warming the listener up for the laugh but you guys done murdered every joke you've uploaded. Luckily I noticed it happening so I skip to 60 seconds in every video you upload.
Please give ari this show back smh
I liked the other guy ari for a host.
Thanks for ruining my experience 😁
*deep, masculine voice in Brooklyn accent* “I’m too dainty for that”
"For old times sake, let's just drive down to Mexico and commit a federal crime." I died. Lol.
Hahaahahah exactly he nailed it
Lol
Me too
is this from there too ruclips.net/video/7pEBLmK9fSc/видео.html
Literally read this as I heard it😂
Mexican got on boots
eric silva 😂😂😂😂
Now I wanna watch that clip 😂😂😂
XD
mexican got on boots... CC
Mitchell... This is gonna be bad Mitchell..
The New York accent is strong on this one.
Gaaaaree
It's not a full blown one though some words only
Caleb C nah, that’s a strong one.
@@dfreeman13 my girl is from fucking Bensonhurst in the BK I think I know what a strong accent is.
@Linda Reyes bk is brooklyn new york
That one laugh in the crowd is all I can focus on
James Cairoli
Same. I just want to punch that obnoxious fuck in the face. So. Hard.
James Cairoli just posted the same.
AHAHAHAAAAAHAHAAAAAAHHAHA
Shutup, dude. That's his friend Gary.
gary's got a stupid laugh. "EH HAAA HAAA"
His delivery was flawless
Agreed. You can't tell stories like these and deliver the lines wrong.
This is probably my favorite T.I.N.H I've watched. Almost every line is hilarious and he tells it perfectly
"Second time I had a gun pulled on me was by my arch nemesis. A white Crip named Willie Boats, but I wasn't nervous...CAUSE WILLIE BOATS AIN'T GONNA DO SHIT!!!" Too good. Too Honest. Too funny. How it works.
I literally came back to this video just to hear him say that line, I love how he says it, it replays in my mind constantly
Thats also what I’m doing here lol
Present
"Close enough Gary, you're a gangster." Dead!!! 💀💀💀💀💀💀
WE WOULD RENT. SAD. HORSES.
You should sit on my face.
Poor Horses, though. Legit sad and awful.
And give them horse tranquilizer, aka ketamine.
It's impressive that he can remember all that while being on Ketamine.
I really hope they shared with the horses
Being a Latino the "never go the wrong way up a one way street" part killed me 🤣🤣 almost every story I've heard from people I know in which they got caught by the police had been because they went the wrong way up a one way street.
My bro, and other known associates, for (famously, imo) stopping at green lights.
Lol.
My ex did that 🤣
That one dude relates to this story a little TOO MUCH 😂😂😂
"...calm down sir, can we get you a soda?"💀💀💀
I will forever hear that laugh in my nightmares.
Zero Zero Dude I stopped the video about five minutes ago because of that and that's all I hear now. I think Opeth should help, though.
HAH HAH HAAAAAAA
That Fucker is drunk or high or maybe just dumb.
Y’all are complaining about that guy, what irritated me was that lady “we did our drugs”. I rather hear a weird laugh than someone mocking an act.
yeah that was so weird, like did she think she was funny or something?
And I’m pretty sure the directors of the show would tell the audience not to heckle while they are filming.
Alo Bre I think it was a flattering imitation kinda remark. As in she liked the way he said it. I mighta done the same thing, just quieter.
To be fair I repeat something someone said if I think it’s funny. It’s like a reflex,, I’d try not to a comedy show fs, but I don’t mean it badly, and I don’t think this lady did
yookie yookie yea as a black person I can confirm she learned it from her grandmother
That delivery though. Guys timing is beast.
I love how all the crowd just start clapping when he says the Mexican police gave them all their drugs back 😂
Before 9-11 you could hide drugs in a fake cast on your arm extremely easily. You just couldn't do it with the same airline. They would get suspicious if you had a broken arm for 2 years and flying twice a week🤪
I wish I would have been older at that time hahaha
This dude is so fucking funny. I met him once and he was mad that he didn't win a comedy competition and I was like who the fuck is this dude and then I saw him on stage and I was mad that he didn't win the comedy competition.
Hahahahaha bro stop repeating yourself!
Astral, wtf are you talking about?
Black Jesus It's the internet, idiots are plentiful.
Lol, well told. Came full circle
Willie boats. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Willie Boats is a bitch who ain't gonna do shit!
8:53
I live in San Luis Obispo county and he hit the nail right on the head. “This is why people hate white people” cracked me up.
He looks like all the characters from
EA sports video games at the same time.
Facts!!!
Can someone tell his dad to quit laughing?
he should have ad libbed hey Gary stop laughing so loud.
lmaooooo
His dad is actually pretty disappointed that he’s trying to talk like a black gentleman
Jeremy Hodges 😂🤣🤣🤦🏽♂️
Chris young You should be disappointed in your ignorance and attempting to appear above another by being racist.
“I’m to dainty for that.” 😂
The guy laughing in the back ground reminds me of the Clown from Happy Gilmore. "YOURE GONNA DIE CLOWN"
Just go to your happy place....
Joaquin Phoenix is laughing in the background, how cool is that
Did you see him in the crowd?
I’m gonna use that line “I’m just saying I’ve got a birthday every year”
This mans life is a whole fever dream
This is one of my favorite stories from this show. I've watched it 50 times give or take. His flow and delivery are perfect. Would love to see more of him.
Love it! What a good crowd, he's killing it. Hilarious stuff man. The guy with the loud laugh in the back is actually cracking me up. He sounds like a funny guy to be around.
Yo I thought from the thumbnail it was sinbad lol Then he looked more like him even closer
Crank Lucas My G! Where’s Them spiser noises
Crank Lucas IM AN OVERDOSER
I be reading the comments of a lot of videos and responding. This the most random comment I ever responded to...
Crank Lucas what up crank! Huge fan of the channel im subscribed with notifs on lol keep grinding big homie!!
Yall aint know that sinbads bastard son! 😂😂😂
The way he says "buttcheek or an arm muscle" 😂😂😂 5:19
Almost missed the Russian jew tie in at the end
oh my god you're so right! LOL
brownguy903 I woulda never even fucking noticed and this is my 3rd time watching bro lmao
Didn’t even peep that. Good catch... now it’s EVEN better story
oof
worrrd
The greatest plot twist in history. "You forgot this"
"it feels Great to be halfway done" best line
"You should never ever drive the wrong way up a one way street"
lol this guy reminds me of that one dude who shows up at a barbershop with a story to tell.
His delivery and voice tone are on point!
Who else hates the intros?🤔
11-14 forward clicks skips by it
At first I hated. Now I feel like I get it. Kinda. Kinda enjoy it.
@@carlosargueta5449 cuz u have no soul & let the advertisement industry brainwash you bruh...u weak minded gump
they're just long enough to roll a joint,
@@marklewis4793 u fast boy
Who is this guy? Definitely a great story teller, definitely funny, and definitely on my top 5 from this show. This dude could tell a story about brushing his teeth that morning and it would be entertaining and funny. Good shit brother. Much love and aloha.
Steve Harloha feel the same way man
Definitely definitely definitely
Hoooo yea aloha 808 cheee pono
It was a great set, the people who get to hear the set when he nails it are even luckier then we are to get to hear the set.. I feel it could have been even better if it was cleaner/smoother ,he broke from style/tone/and timing he had set at the start of the performance.. I can't find anymore from him, I'd really like to hear another full set from him..
best story teller on this is JIm Breuer and his bombing in Sears story, by the end I'm crying laughing every time I hear it......."That guys a a sspect!"
Dudes an amazing story teller why haven't I heard of him
There is a boat company called "Willie Boats" and they literally sell one named Nemesis...
The real mvp is the dude laughing in the background 😂😂😂😂
1:03 to skip intro
Thank you kind sir! Every time I watch one of these I first check if someone made a skip intro comment! :)
Take your like
Matthew Browning i
"California Poly Technical Institue in San Luis Obispo California was where I first learned why some people don't like white people." I love it.
I’ve been watching these videos too much. I’m starting to recognize people in the audience that I’ve seen in other videos.
He's so totally on drugs in this video.
😆THAT WAS ACTUALLY A LOT
funnier than I was expecting!!
Well done, Rob!!😆
This guy is awesome, wow!! I thought I'd seen all of these episodes.
Well done!!
best one I've seen
dude knows how to tell a story.. This is fantastic
“Can we get you a soda?” 😆😏😕
I’m dying at the one dude at 10:26 who just nods and claps like he’s been in that exact situation before
Calm down sir!! Can we get you a soda? 😂😂
Thank you C C For Sharing all These priceless videos..👏♥️
Anyone else catch the Breaking Bad reference with the head on the tortoise line? Lol dopee
Laughed so hard the whole time, and especially when the cops gave back the drugs! Best this is not happening in awhile
Chris Biolaw I was waiting for that one. Police here in eastern europe keep the drugs to resell them, Ive lived in England long enough to know that's a bit more of an issue in the west. I still curled up laughing on like half the story, just brilliant.
George Mirchev what a dick move by the eastern european cops man
I knew some guys who bought coke from cops, it was cheap cause it was stolen. That said, ketamine was legal in Mexico in the 90s you didn't even have get it from veterinarians, you could just buy it over the counter at normal pharmacies.
Was having a bad day put this on forgot about it for a second. It's amazing what laughter can do.
It's weird how we all try to make deals with God when we're scared, but as soon as we're safe...it's out the door.
That does sound like a parent/child relationship.
Idk why people are complaining about that one guy laughing in the background. I thought it was funny lol
MollyTsab It's just the sad sacks who go to comedy shows and sit there stonefaced, too afraid to laugh.
The worst part is that others regurgitate the same comment. Bunch of bitches and followers. I enjoyed it.
I didnt even notice him.
Yeah I didn't notice him either!
I didn't even notice til i read the comments
This was tremendous and an intriguing story
10/10
I don't think I've ever before had to stop watching a comedy special because of somebody's laugh.
That's one good friend in the crowd!
Happened to me in the US. They confiscated a zip lock bag full of candy I had laced. Months later I got a call, "You can retrieve your confiscated items". Went to the city jail and they just handed me back my bag of candy. I had gotten clean for the past 9 months, then they handed me a bag full of my DOC. ironic
Which drug, for research
Was it actual DOC or DOC as in "drug of choice?"
@@newusernamehere4772 my drug of choice. At the time it was etizolam
Did you toss it away or did you fall back into it? Just curious
@@Mohammed_plt 100% relapsed hard
Didn't know Vaas Montenegro did stand-up.
Holy shit I'm not the only one who noticed!
Holy shit he'd be a dead ringer for a movie, good eye.
I love how he can't help but smile when people laugh you can tell he loves comedy
Outstanding story! The true stories always seem to be the best.🤣👍
Laugh in the background made it 20x funnier
"You cant keep a stable with 30 horses, that'd be crazy!"
You can with ketamine... Lol
I've ran stables with around 40. It's not that hard
@@elbolillo2703 yeah I work with horses full time. I've worked in several barns, including one of my own.. so far none with more than 30, but I don't find a 30 horse barn to be particularly crazy
@@hywodena sweet goat you you got there lol
@@elbolillo2703 yeah they're cute 😄
Him being halfway done at 35!!!! TOOK ME OOOOUUTT! 😭😭😭😂😂😂
I love this guy's delivery. Funniest one yet!
He is such a great story teller 🔥🔥
As a former addict I appreciate this so much 🤣. The way he said “did our drugggggs” lmaooo, such ketamine vibes. I love it
I'm in recovery as well and love this type of humor. I fr loved this set! Also not to be weird but I hope you're doing well ❤️
That mans laugh throughout the show. 😂😂😂
Dude, its my favorite comedy central clip of all an d I keep coming back. lol
Lmao this was one of the most funny stories I've heard.
his writing is like john mulaney, but his delivery is completely different.
Lmao he jumps out and yells screw you god 😂😂😂
This is the best story ever ! I laughed all the way through.
That one guys laugh in the background reminds me of the scene in the Joker
Omg yes
oh my god these intros are so bad. i wonder how many people click away during the intro?
Spaz Derek dude you have no idea. At least 75% of ppl hate the intros. Makes you wonder why they still have them
Everyone
@@bob9644 theyve grown on me
Theyre meant to be stupid AF its a joke for the comedians, ever hear of the comics comic? theyre so fucking absurd smoke a J and lol
Ever heard of fast forwarding?
How have I not heard of this guy yet, this is fantastic
The way he pronounces "Gary" just kills me everytime
I am going to need a one-hour special, please!
Love how he says San Louis Opisbo is 3 hours from the border 😂😂 it takes 6 hours to get to San Diego
This is brilliantly delivered and well thought out storytelling. He'd do fucking fab with a special.
I'd never seen or heard of this guy before I clicked on this video. Where has he been? He's very funny. 😂
I'm 35 too bruhh hehe 4/4/83🙂 were half way there for sure.
james strong wait until 41 brother and enjoy those last 5
Holy crap that was amazing!
In every it's not happening videos
There is one laugh that stays ,if u listen carefully after every punchlines,u can find it.
He’s awesome. Great story. Great delivery!
Lil Uzi Vert in the back chillin
Fedi Klai he was pushed to the Edge
Sadie Crook they played with hand grenades
Ness G THEY GOT KICKED IN THE HEAD
He laughed at that "white guys don't get shot by cops" line....and he SHOULDN'T HAVE!
I remember him telling a version of this story on the Risk! Podcast a few years ago - I recognised him right away from his voice alone. He's a good story teller for sure.
Haha I love this kind of over dramatized "this is not happening" story. Favorite one so far
Try meth piss. KILLS.
Not that I'm biased. Lmao. Joe Rogan and the stripper made me laugh, too.
This was the best one ive seen so far, funny dude
When he said " People's parents still together " I died because I love my husband , we've been together 15 years and I'm 35. I can't imagine life without him,that accent has me dying..lol 😂
id love to do stand up. I think im going to throw my hat in the ring next year.
this guy is hilarious, i rate him. not enough comics have specials
That one guy is REALLY enjoying the show... You know the one. The "HUAH HAH HAH HAHHH" one.
Damn bro I couldn’t function at all on ketamine. Such a weird high
I'm looking forward to see what this comedian does next he's got a really great style really great delivery and pretty cute too!
And a drug user
That one dude in the crowd absolutely loving it all the way through